02x22 - There Goes the Best Genie I Ever Had

[bunniefuu]

Yeah, Tony Nelson here.

- Oh, Tony, you still asleep?
- Yeah, my alarm clock didn't go off.

- What happened?
- Well, Jeannie smashed it last night.

Why would she wanna do
a thing like that?

Because I came in
a little after midnight...

- ... and she thought it was late.
- Well, listen, forget about Jeannie.

I just had a phone call...

...that's going to make your day
and your evening.

Remember those two gals
we had a date with last month?

You mean Miss Atom b*mb
and Miss Galaxy?

I just had a phone call from them,
and they wanna go out with us tonight.

- How about that?
- I can't go out with them, Roge.

Remember the last time I tried to date,
remember what she turned them into?

Yeah, she's pretty hard to handle,
isn't she?

She's impossible.

I mean, it's getting
so I can't call my life my own.

I'm almost sorry I picked up
that bottle on the beach.

That's too bad.
I'll have to find somebody else.

- Look, I'll see you at the base, okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

Good morning, master.
How are you feeling this morning?

To tell the truth, I'm not-

Here's your breakfast.
All of your favourite dishes.

- Well, Jeannie, thanks-
- Look. Miss Atom b*mb...

...and Miss Galaxy are in town.

- Look, I'm not gonna get involved-
- I have pressed your dinner jacket.

You and Major Healey
are going to take them out tonight.

I am going to stay in my bottle...

...so that I will not accidentally
cause you any trouble.

I do not want anything
to spoil this evening for you.

- What made you change your mind?
- Oh, I have not changed my mind.

All I want is for you to be happy.
That is all I have ever wanted.

Oh, they are such beautiful girls.

Oh, you will have
a wonderful time tonight.

Well, I will get back into my bottle.

Enjoy your breakfast, master.
I will see you tomorrow.

- Hold it.
- Hold it?

Yeah, I wanna discuss this.

Oh, discuss what, master?

Oh, breakfast in bed, you wanting me
to go out with Miss Atom b*mb...

...you staying in your bottle
and not bothering me all day...

...and being so nice about everything.
That's what I wanna discuss.

Well, of course, master.

- Why?
- Why?

When you repeat
everything I say...

...I know I'm in trouble.
Now, what's going on?

- Going on?
- Jeannie.

Well, I mean,
what could be going on?

- That's what I want to find out.
- Find out?

Let's see now, I-
I know it's not my birthday...

- ... and it's certainly not your birthday.
- No.

But it's some kind of a special day,
isn't it?

Well, it's a very little day.

- How little?
- Oh, well, it's...

...Haji's Day.

Oh, I see.
Now we're getting somewhere.

Where are we getting?

Haji is the master of all the genies.

Oh, I see, and on Haji's birthday,
you act especially nice.

You guessed it, master.
Have a wonderful time.

- I will see you tomorrow.
- Hold it.

Why do I have a feeling
there's something more?

- Oh, I cannot imagine, master.
- But there is.

Well, yes, but it is such a tiny,
little thing...

...I did not even want
to bother you with it.

Bother me.

Well...

- ... this will amuse you.
- Amuse me, go ahead.

Well, each year on Haji's birthday...

...all masters unhappy with their
genies can send them away for good.

Oh, is that not ridiculous?

Let me get something straight:

I can send you away,
and you have to go?

- I know it is ridiculous, but-
- But I can?

I know you would not even dream
of doing such a thing.

No, no, of course not.

What time do I have to
let you know?

- You have until midnight.
- Midnight.

But dare not even think about it,
master. I will be very good.

I will stay in my bottle
and not get you into any trouble.

You may go out with
all the beautiful girls you want to...

- ... and there is no-
- Okay.

- You mean it's all right?
- I wanna think about it.

- You wish to think about it?
- I mean...

...how often does Haji
have a birthday?

You can get rid of Jeannie
if you want to, just like that?

Yeah, just like that.

I only have until midnight.

She wasn't gonna tell me, you know,
I had to drag it out of her.

If she hadn't been so nice to me,
I wouldn't have gotten suspicious.

Well, what are you-?
What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I think I'm gonna have to
send her away.

Why would you wanna do
a thing like that?

Roger, I don't wanna do that,
but I don't have any choice.

Ever since I've met her,
I've been in trouble.

- Boy, am I gonna miss her.
- So am I.

Well, she can't help
being the way she is.

Oh, I know that.
She's- She's a warm-hearted...

...beautiful, impetuous troublemaker.
That's what she is, a troublemaker.

- Hello, master.
- Hi, Jeannie.

How many times have I told you
not to pop in in public?

Oh, nobody is looking.

- Good morning, Major Healey.
- Good morning, Jeannie.

Get a chair. Get a chair.

- Get a chair, get a chair.
- I've got a chair.

Sorry to bother you, master...

...but you left your briefcase at home
and you might need it.

Thank you.
You shouldn't have troubled.

Oh, nothing is too much trouble
for you, master.

Any time, any place.

There aren't too many genies
who feel that way.

And my only wish
is to make you happy.

I know you do, Jeannie,
and you've been wonderful.

We've had a great year, but
I've come to a decision and I think-

I had better go home
and see if you left anything else.

Boy, oh, boy.
How could you do it?

- Do what?
- Make her leave?

Roger, I can't let her
go on running my life.

- When has she ever run your life?
- What kind of a memory do you have?

Do you remember the time
when she thought I looked tired...

...and I needed a rest?
She made every day Sunday.

Remember, I walked into the room...

Do you know what kind of chaos
this could create?

I know that you have been working
too hard, and it is not good for you.

- Jeannie.
- It is no use talking about it, master.

This is for your own good.

It is going to remain Sunday
until you have rested.

It will give you a chance
to do all those things you enjoy.

I'm not gonna enjoy anything.
I'm not gonna let you do this.

I'm gonna put my foot down.

Jeannie!

- Try it on.
- No.

Jeannie, stop fooling around.
I'm telling you for the last-

Jeannie!

Jeannie!

- You remember that?
- I'd forgotten that.

- It was pretty funny.
- Dr. Bellows almost caught me.

- That wasn't very funny.
- Master?

Jeannie, what are you doing here?

- Well, I-
- What are you doing, anyway?

What have you done to yourself?

Well, I thought you might
prefer me with dark hair.

No, I like you just the way you were.

Oh, did you, master? Thank you!
I will go tell Haji.

Now, that's not what I had in mind-

Oh, boy, it's pitiful.
She'd do anything to please you.

Do you think I'm gonna enjoy
sending her away?

It's just I can't take a chance
on keeping her.

Well, if you send her back to the Haji,
you'll never see her again, ever.

Yeah, that's right.

Why don't you give her
another chance.

She said she wouldn't get you
into anymore trouble.

It's not only me. Remember the things
she's done to you?

She's never done anything to me.

Roger, do you remember the time
I got hit on the head...

...and got amnesia?
I forgot who Jeannie was...

- ... and I fell in love with her?
- She wanted to marry you.

You threatened to tell me
that she was a genie.

Yeah, she was mad. Oh, boy.

Remember what happened
when she lost her temper.

I got sunburned, frostbite and a case
of the bends all in the same day.

Yeah, and that was just
one of Jeannie's average days.

Yeah.

Jeannie.
Well, now that you're here, I'd-

You look lovely.

Oh, thank you, master.
I was hoping that it would please you.

It pleases me.

Well, I know it's not midnight yet,
but I feel I ought to tell you anyhow.

Jeannie, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to send you back.

She's really hard to pin down,
isn't she?

Well, don't worry. She'll go back.
This time I have the Haji on my side.

- Oh, good evening, master.
- Hello, Jeannie. I'm glad you're here.

I wanna talk to you.
I've come to a decision.

What do you think you're doing?

I want you to be comfortable,
master.

Listen-

Those feathers- This time you're not
going to get away with this.

Oh, I- Good evening.
Very nice, very nice.

Jeannie, this is not gonna work
this time.

What-? Jeannie, I don't smoke...

...and I certainly wouldn't smoke
a hookah if I did.

I am sorry, master.

Do you know what
I have decided to do?

I have decided to bring you
all the treasures of the world.

- We'll start with the gold of the Incas.
- No.

- The rubies of the rajahs?
- No.

- The diamonds of the-?
- No.

- Well, where would you like to start?
- I'd start with getting rid of all of this.

- Oh, but I thought you would enjoy-
- Now.

This one too, huh.

I'm terribly sorry, miss.
It was very nice.

Oh, that's better.

Jeannie, really.
Now the hammock.

Yep. Thank you.

- Master, I'm sorry.
- It's all right, forget it. It's okay.

Oh, I do not know what to do.
I cannot seem to please you.

- Oh, you please me very much.
- Do I?

Yes, yes. If I ever wanted a genie
in the whole wide world...

...you'd be the genie I'd want.

- Oh, thank you-
- But I don't want a genie.

Not even a genie who will not give you
one little bit of trouble...

...whose only thought is to make you
very happy and comfortable?

Comfortable?
You remember what happened...

...the last time you tried
to make me comfortable?

Jeannie!

I can't hold on any-

Ever since I've found you,
my whole life has been like that.

I go from disaster to disaster.
Well, all that's gonna change.

As of midnight tonight,
I'm gonna be free as a-

Jeannie.

Jeannie?

All right, Jeannie, I see you there.
You might as well start packing.

As of midnight tonight,
you're going back to the Haji.

Come out, Jeannie.
Would you please come out?

- Now, don't be blue.
- I am sorry, master.

You're gonna be nice and sensible
about this, aren't you?

- No, master.
- That's a good girl.

- Oh, yes you are.
- But it is so unfair.

I made one teeny, little mistake.

Yeah, but you keep doing them
over and over again.

I'm sorry, I can't have you interfering
in my life any longer.

I interfere in your life?

Oh, master. Someone has been
telling you terrible tales.

- I would never do that.
- Would you?

Of course not.

Oh, if there's anything
I cannot stand, it-

It's an interfering genie.

Yes, that's exactly the way
I feel about it, Jeannie.

Good. Then there is no problem.

- I will be right back, master.
- I'm not through yet.

You are not through yet?

No, no.
I know you don't mean to interfere.

- Oh, no.
- But you do.

When have I ever interfered
in your life?

Do you remember the night I had
a date with an old friend of mine?

Charlie- Charlie Suzie.
There we were...

Good evening, master. You did not
tell me you were going out tonight.

Oh, didn't I?

Well, it must have
slipped my mind.

You are all dressed up.

I am ready.

Where are we going tonight,
master?

We are not going anywhere.

I have a date tonight with an old
friend of mine from Chicago.

Jeannie, what do you think
you're doing?

You have been working
much too hard lately, master.

It would be better
if you stayed home.

Well, I'll decide that.
Now, I'm going out.

And this jealousy of yours
is ridiculous.

Oh, I am not jealous, master.

Who is this girlfriend?

She's- He's a very old school chum
of mine from Ohio.

Yes, we went to school together and,
well, he's in town now...

...and he's sick and, well, I'm going to
go and visit the poor guy.

- What is her name?
- Suzie- Charlie Suzie.

Oh, master, thou art not dealing with
a stupid genie.

You will stay home tonight.

No, I am not. I promised I'd visit him,
and visit him I'm going to.

- Now come on, give me my clothes.
- No, master.

All right, then I'll go
and get dressed myself.

You can make me late,
but you can't keep me here...

...this is not a jail, you know.

Jeannie, let me out of here!

Now, that wasn't very nice, was it?

Well, I-
I thought it would amuse you.

- Did you?
- Yes.

Well, it didn't. You know why?
Because you made me break my date.

But I let you keep it the next night,
do you remember?

Oh, yes, I remember.

You see? And everything
turned out fine.

I will go tell Haji that you-

- No.
- No?

Do you remember what happened
when you let me keep the date?

Not exactly.

Well, let me refresh your memory.
I was there...

There. Isn't that better?

Yes, it certainly is.
It looks much more comfortable.

- To us.
- I'll drink to that.

Jeannie! Jeannie!

- I thought she looked better that way.
- I think you see what I mean, Jeannie.

It won't work.
It just won't work.

- Your mind is made up then?
- Yes. Yes, it is.

- Well, I will miss you, master.
- I'll miss you too.

I am yours until midnight.
I would like to do something for you.

No. Nothing, thank you.

Oh, please,
it will make me so happy.

No, really.

I want you to look nice
for Miss Galaxy.

Oh, well, thank you very much,
Jeannie.

Thank you very much.

Would you like me to build
a wonderful restaurant to take her to?

No, that won't be necessary, Jeannie.
Tokyo House will be fine.

Well, I-

I guess there's nothing else
I can do for you.

Well, I better be getting along.

- Will you be here when I get back?
- If you return before midnight.

- Jeannie.
- Yes?

I just wanted to thank you
for everything.

- Would you kiss me goodbye?
- Oh, sure.

Goodbye, master.

Delicious. Thank you.

A little more hot sake?

Yes. If there's anything I love,
it's a generous astronaut.

Did you hear that?

Tony, what's it like to go into orbit?

Tony, what's it like to go into orbit?

Oh, yes, yes. Roger, what time is it?

What time is it? I got : .

What's the matter?
You keep asking me what time is it.

- I think my watch has stopped.
- That's right, : .

Don't worry. I don't have to be back
until February.

Oh, yes.

You know, Tony, I've been thinking
a lot about you lately.

Why don't we do that?

I don't think you've heard
a word I've said.

I'm sorry, Ann.

If you've got a problem,
maybe I could help you with it.

The only person that could
help me is me.

- More hot sake?
- How could you let me do that?

I must've missed
part of the conversation.

- How could I let you do what?
- Fine friend you turned out to be.

I must've been out of my mind.
I can't go on without her.

You mean
you've changed your mind?

Yeah, I'm gonna stop her.

I wish I knew what everybody
was talking about.

It can't be : .

Pardon me, could you
tell me what time it is, please?

It's one minute past midnight.

Here's to the best genie
a master ever had.

Yeah.

Jeannie?

Haji, I wanna talk to you.

You can't have Jeannie back.

There's been some kind of a mistake.
Something went wrong with my watch.

It's up to me to decide
if I wanna send her back...

...and I've decided
I do not wanna send her back.

Are you listening?

All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll fight you for her.

But I warn you,
I'm a trained in unarmed combat.

Thanks, Jeannie.
Jeannie, you escaped!

- No, master.
- How'd you get away from the Haji?

I did not go to Haji.

- But you said that at midnight, you-
- Yes, master. Midnight, Haji's time.

Midnight, Haji's time.

- Well, I- I set your watches back.
- You set our watches back.

Well, I did not think you
wanted me to go, really.

- And anyway, it is too late now.
- Too late. Too late, yes.

- That is, until next year.
- Yes.

Do you mind very much?

I guess I could put up with you
for another year.

- Oh, I am glad.
- But remember...

...you're gonna keep your promises.
You're gonna stay in your bottle...

- ... and you're not gonna interfere.
- That is right, master.

- Welcome home.
- Oh, thank you, master!

- Okay, now, back in the bottle.
- Oh, where are you going?

I'm going back to the Tokyo House.
I have a date, remember?

- And you are going back there?
- Yeah, sure. Good night.

Jeannie.

Hey, Jeannie,
what do you think you're doing?

It is past midnight, master,
and you should be in bed.

You have a hard day tomorrow,
and you should be fresh.

Sleep well.

- I will see you in the morning.
- Now, you cut this out.

Jeannie!