08x27 - The Long and Winding Road" (Part 3)

[bunniefuu]

You guys ready for
the farewell show?

Yes, sirree! And we're
gonna go out on top!

We're gonna go out on
top and we're gonna segue

to new beginnings
and brighter tomorrows!

That's the spirit, Al.

All right! Oh,
I'm a total wreck.

I can't believe this
is going to be over.

Oh, I know. Me either.

This is the last time I'm
gonna introduce you guys.

The last time I'm
gonna give you CPR.

Oh, gosh! I'm
gonna miss all this!

I'm even gonna
miss your putdowns.

Just because the show's over doesn't
mean the putdowns have to stop.

I can insult you long-distance.

What do you mean, long-distance?

Jill got a job at a family
practice in Bloomington.

Looks like we're
moving to Indiana.

Indiana?

Our lives are changing so fast!

Oh, stop the roller coaster! Oh.

Al... Al...

You know what, Tim?

I knew we had to say
good-bye to Tool Time,

I didn't realize we'd have
to say good-bye to you.

You know, but change can be a
good thing. Al's getting married.

Well, that's true. Yeah!

Yeah! All right.

And you know what? I'm pregnant.

She's pregnant.

(EXCLAIMING)

This is it! Today's the big day!

(SIGHING)

Talk about a hot show!

I got about fire
marshals standing by

for when you "accidentally"
burn down the set.

Do you really want us
to burn down the set?

How do you sleep
at night, young man?

Trust me, g*ng, the
show's gonna be huge.

But since I'm a
VP I get to watch it

at Binford HQ with the
COO, the CFO and the CEO.

Which one would be the SOB?

Oh, I get it. You're doing
a fun thing with letters.

All right! Break a leg, guys!

You know, I think starting
electrical fires is a stupid idea!

Heidi, Heidi, Heidi...
Shh. Come on, guys.

This is our last Tool Time.

Morgan Wandell's not
gonna tell us what to do.

He's not? No.

Tool Time's going
out like we came in.

With no audience?

No. With style, with class.

No stupid fires, no fake
explosions and no staged accidents.

(SIZZLING) Yeah...

See, it's much
better when it's real.

Well, hidey ho, neighborette.

Oh, my! I see Al and Trudy's
wedding arrangements are progressing.

Yeah. But the
seating arrangement,

it's all messed
up, just like my life.

Now wait a second, Jill. I thought
you were gonna take that job in Indiana.

Tim told me it was all set.

Yeah. Well, yeah.
That's what we decided.

But I haven't been able
to make the phone call.

It's a great opportunity. The
whole family's being real supportive.

You know, I just don't know
what's holding me back.

Well, Jill, this has been
your home for years.

You'd have to leave
your whole life behind.

You'd have to say good-bye
to all your old friends.

We'd have to say
good-bye to you.

So you're telling me to stay.

No, no, no, no, no...

You're telling me to go.

No, no, no, no.

Hello, not helping!

Jill, this move is a
very difficult decision.

I can't be the one to make it.

When I was a little girl
we moved all the time.

My mom never
questioned it. She'd just say,

"Whatever's good for your
father is good for all of us."

And we'd pack our
bags and follow him.

So, basically, for years
you've been following Tim.

Yeah. Right to the
emergency room.

Now, see, that
was the beauty of it.

I married Tim, we moved
into this wonderful house,

and I got to put down roots
for the first time in my life.

And I've really cherished that.

Yes. But on the other hand,
Tim is making a huge change.

He's willing to base
his life around you.

I really think that's
worth considering.

What if we go to Indiana
and it all falls apart?

Well, what if it doesn't
and you're a huge success?

So, I should go, shouldn't I?

Jill, there is no limit to
what you can accomplish.

But if you want me to stand here

and sell my best
friends on leaving,

I really cannot do that.

Wilson, I'm really
gonna miss you.

So I take it you are going?

Unless you think I should stay.

Jill!

I'll make the call.

Thank you, everybody.
Welcome to Tool Time.

I am, and for the last time,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.

And of course you
all know my assistant,

"Al be doing infomercials
for a living" Borland.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

It should be a nice
show. It's our last show.

Of course, we all hope to be
on to bigger and better things.

As a matter of fact, Al here's
getting married this weekend.

We have a great last
show for you today.

Binford wants us to intentionally
overload a household outlet like this.

Thereby starting a fire and
burning the entire set down.

Instead, I'm gonna show
you the right way to do this.

Folks, just get a
surge protector. Duh.

End of segment.

Good night, everybody!

Oh, I know what you're thinking.
Come on! Last Tool Time?

Just plugging in a toaster?

Come on! Aren't you
gonna light anything on fire?

Of course we're gonna
light something on fire.

We're gonna burn
this place down, baby!

With everybody that
helped us build it.

These diehard fans dropped
whatever they were doing

to be on this last
Tool Time with us.

Let's have a warm
Tool Time welcome

for America's
favorite all-tool band!

The K & B Boys!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Rock, Dwayne, Pete and Duke!

And on handsaw,
the lovely Janine!

You guys are here
to play music, right?

Yes, sirree, Timmy! Pete!

That would be me.

One, two... One, two, three!

♪ Watch out You might
get what you're after

♪ Cool, baby Strange
but not a stranger

♪ I'm an ordinary guy
Burning down the house

ROCK: Go get them, Pete!

Ladies and gentlemen,
on staple g*n,

master upholsterer,
Sparky Henderson!

(ALL HUMMING)

On shock absorber, Eddie
from Eddie's Body Shop!

On plunger, plumber Felix Myman!

And on horn, Mario Andretti!

One, two... One,
two, three, four!

♪ Hold tight till
the party's over

♪ Hold tight We're
in for nasty weather

♪ There has got to be a
way Burning down the house

♪ All wet You
might need a raincoat

♪ Shakedown
Walking in broad daylight

♪ Three hundred sixty-five
degrees Burning down the house

♪ Burning down the house
Burning down the house

♪ Burning down the house ♪

Where's my can?

The last time I looked it was below
your back and above your knees.

Where am I supposed
to put the garbage?

Hey, give it to me.

Jill moved all your trash
cans over to my side

so there'd be more
room for the wedding.

(GROANING)

If this fence weren't here,
we'd have so much more room,

we could push the chairs
all the way to one side.

You know, Tim, you're right.

We could have all the
chairs facing this way.

Right. And I would build
the arch in your yard.

Well, why don't we
take the fence down?

Well, we certainly could.

Well, should we?

We could always put it
back up after the wedding.

How come we've never thought
about taking this fence down before?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe
we didn't want to reveal

too much of ourselves.

But we went ahead and
revealed everything anyway.

Yeah. Let's take
this sucker down.

I got a hammer. I'll go get it.

No, no, no. I got some tools
over here. Take what you need.

You got a pry bar
in there? Yeah.

Okay. Oh, boy!

Oh, no. Hmm?

What's that?

How many times do
I have to bury you?

Wait till you hear
the latest news. Hmm.

After the final show, Binford
was practically begging me

to come back to work. They offered
me more money, executive producer.

So now you're
thinking about staying?

Please, Tim, do not
toy with me like this.

You people are wreaking
havoc on my emotions!

Calm down. The decision
is made. We're moving.

It's just that they were dangling
a pretty big carrot in front of me.

Yeah, well, you gave
that carrot up for Jill.

She must've appreciated
your generosity for that.

Uh, actually, she
doesn't know about this.

I don't want this to
affect her decision, okay?

You're a good man, Tim.

I'm gonna miss having
you as a neighbor.

You've been a good
neighbor, too, Wilson.

An odd one.

(WILSON CHUCKLING)

Hey.

Yeah. All right.

Wow!

Now we can see everything.

Does it look any different
than you thought it would?

Your fly's open.

Well, it looks like it's
gonna be a great wedding.

I'm really glad we're
doing this for Al. Me, too.

This white wedding arch
you made is so beautiful.

You know, I was gonna
go with golden arches

but I was afraid we'd have to
serve over two billion Borlands.

Look, look! Harry and Delores!

Welcome back.

Hey, guys. I saw Al
getting his picture taken.

Looks like he's gonna
go through with this.

Yeah? Well, I'm betting
it's gonna go the other way.

And he's not alone.

You guys are betting on
a wedding? That's sick!

Put me down for .
I say he gets married.

And I got bucks says
he's wearing a flannel thong.

Hey, I want some of that action.

I mean, you know,
I want to bet on it.

WANDELL: Hi.

Hello. Is this delivery
for Al and Trudy?

No. Delivery for Tim and Jill.

What? Morgan Wandell.

Binford VP of media production,
and you are even prettier

than the way Tim described you.

Really?

How did he describe me?

Okay, he didn't.

Look, I need to see Tim.

I've been trying to convince
him to stay with Tool Time.

He keeps turning me down.

He hated what
you did to his show.

No. That's all changed
since the last episode.

We offered to make him
the executive producer

and we offered to
give him a big raise.

But he won't budge.
Something about Indiana.

He turned you down
because of my job offer?

I guess so.

Must be hard for you to live
with that one on your shoulder.

Look, I resent you trying
to make me feel guilty.

Now, if you don't mind, we're
in the middle of a wedding.

To which you were not invited.

All right. But I'm
gonna lose my job.

I'm terribly sorry. Please, go.

All right, I'm Morgan Wandell.

Yeah. I'm Morgan Wandell.

So, how come your husband's
not here? Problems at home?

No. He's away on an assignment.

Well, if you were my wife,
I wouldn't leave you alone.

Well, I'm not your wife and
you still won't leave me alone.

You are the most amazing
and wonderful man.

Well, hold that thought.
The wedding's starting.

And I got a lot of
money riding on this.

They make a lovely couple.

Well, they say when you
live together for a long time,

you start looking
like each other.

Oh, look. Trudy
looks so beautiful.

The minister's starting.
All bets are down.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here for this
joyous and deeply moving...

Are you gonna cry through this
wedding just like you did through ours?

Yes. But this time I'm happy.

And I look forward to spending
the rest of my life with you,

and to someday hear the
pitter-patter of little Borland feet.

Do they make a
steel-toed work bootie?

And now Al would like to recite
the vows that he wrote for Trudy.

My darling Trudy,

what more could a man ask for than to
be with a magnificent woman like you?

You are my rock, my
soul mate and my partner

through this
journey I like to call...

Life.

Come, my sweet princess,
and we shall walk hand in hand...

Directly into The Twilight Zone.

Cal, the rings, please?

Trudy, do you take Al to be
your lawfully wedded husband,

for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,

till death do you part?

I do.

Al, do you take Trudy to
be your lawfully wedded wife,

for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,

till death do you part?

You bet I do.

Now by the power vested in
me by the state of Michigan

and the Church of
the Celestial Moon,

I now pronounce
you husband and wife.

Al, you may kiss the bride.

Jill, we're in the
middle of a wedding.

What do you want to talk about?

Please sit down in the hot rod.

I don't care what it's about.

I can't believe that you
turned down Binford for me.

How did you find that out?

Morgan stopped by to bribe
us with a cheese basket.

What kind of cheese?

Giving up that promotion
was the sweetest,

most selfless thing
you've ever done.

It's the least I could do for you,
honey, after all you've done for me.

And you really
deserve this opportunity.

Yeah, I know I do.
But I don't want it.

I don't want to go to Indiana.

This is exactly why I didn't
let you know about this.

I knew you'd change
your mind because of me.

I don't want to leave here!

And this is an opportunity
that you have always wanted,

to executive produce Tool Time.

Look, if I can find a job like that in
Indiana, I can find one like that here.

But not with Dr. Lee.
You said yourself

this is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.

Where are you guys going?

Hop in. I'll tell
you all about it.

Wait. We're not going
to Indiana now, are we?

We're not going
to Indiana at all.

All right! Oh, sh**t!

Yes, we are! All right!

Okay. We're
gonna think about it.

All right.

All right, everybody.

For the last years, Al,
you've been my right-hand man.

And you've not only been a big part of
my life, in many cases you've saved it.

Trudy, you're
getting a hell of a guy.

I know.

It's a very special day. And if you're
wearing a certain kind of underwear,

a very lucrative one.

To Al and Trudy!
To Al and Trudy!

Health and happiness!
Health and happiness!

Hear, hear.

All right. I just want to say...

I want to thank Tim and Jill

for opening up their
house to us, and...

Well, Tim, we've just...
We've gone through so much.

And I... Well, I
want to thank you

for giving me my
start on Tool Time.

This has been a difficult year,

and you guys have been there
for me every step of the way.

And no matter where
you go or what you do,

I just want you to know that
you'll always be my best friends.

Al... Al...

Oh, and, Trudy, thank
you for marrying me!

You're welcome. Trudy and Al!

ALL: Trudy and Al. Trudy and Al!

TIM: All right.

Oh, look. Al must've
dropped his wedding vows.

We should put them
in a special place.

Okay. Toss them in here.

(LAUGHING)

Look, your wedding
arch didn't fall down.

Do you remember the last time
we were under one of those?

We had no money, we had no kids.

No idea how our
lives would turn out.

I think, so far, they've
turned out pretty well.

If you had to go back and do it
all over again, would you do it?

Yeah. Yeah, I would.

I mean, there's been
bumps along the road.

I haven't always known
where we were headed.

There was always a
possibility of a crash, but...

I wouldn't want to
travel with anybody else.

You?

As a matter of fact, I
would change things.

Yeah? What would you change?

I don't think I'd propose to you
in the back of a ' Dodge Dart.

... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay,

what kind of car
would you choose?

That's not what I mean.

If I had to do it again, I'd
pick a more romantic spot.

First time I looked at
you, I knew I wanted

to spend the rest
of my life with you.

Now years later, I
have the same feelings.

Except this numbness in
my thumb I can't explain.

Jill Patterson,
would you marry me?

No.

No?

I'm already married
to the perfect guy.

I know you don't
want to go to Indiana.

It's not about
me. It's about you.

Do you want to give
up this opportunity?

Yeah, I am.

(SIGHS) I don't want
to leave my life here.

I just can't imagine
leaving this house.

Well, if we ever decide to move,

maybe we wouldn't
have to leave the house.

What does that mean?

Are we gonna drive
this thing the whole way?

No. Don't be ridiculous. There's
faster ways to get there than by land.

Like what?

(FOGHORN SOUNDING)

JILL: I didn't know a
tugboat could go this fast.

TIM: It can if it's
got more power!

(GRUNTING)

So, instead, we're just gonna show
you the proper way to do it, folks.

Just get yourself a...

(CHUCKLES) Well...

To Al and Heidi.
Health and happiness.

MAN: Heidi?

(CLAMORING)

TRUDY: Who's Heidi?

(ALL LAUGHING)