01x10 - Eve of Destruction

[bunniefuu]

TWOMBLY: Oh, buck up!

It's an all-natural cleaning solution.

Listen, Skitter Critter,

don't you sass the Sass-Master.

The Sass-Master?

Well, actually, my full title

is Lake Winnyhaha Sass-Master Champion.

And they need to show the master more respect.

( chuckles )

Good to know.

( glass squeaking )

TWOMBLY: Oh, don't give me that look.

I think Mrs. Twombly put too much nutmeg

in her oatmeal this morning.

She's on one of her cleaning binges today.

Always makes her a little...

♪ Dirty, dusty

♪ Dank and musty

...odd.

But the shop looks clean to me.

RUSSELL: To you and me, yes, the place is clean.

But to her, it's full of dirt.

Luckily, her clean fever only lasts a day.

( sneezes )

♪ Dirty and dusty

♪ Dank and musty Make that one very long day.

♪ You think about All the things ♪

♪ That you love to do

♪ It all comes true

♪ You find a place You never knew ♪

♪ Where you're happy To just be you ♪

♪ We can be ♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Who we wanna be ♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ At the Littlest Pet Shop You and me ♪

♪ We can be ♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Who we wanna be ♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ At the Littlest Pet Shop You and me ♪

♪ Dirty, dusty, dank

Hmm... Oh!

♪ Dirty, dusty

♪ Dank and musty

So you say her cleaning binge

will only last a day?

TWOMBLY: Oh, Blythe!

Yes, Mrs. Twombly?

Would you please polish the turtle's shell?

I want to see my reflection in it.

Sorry.

( chuckles )

Kinda tickles.

I know you're busy cleaning today, Mrs. Twombly,

but I wanted to ask you something.

TWOMBLY: Ask away. ( vacuum humming )

Well, I was wondering if--

What?

I was wondering if--

Speak up, dear. I can't hear you!

Could I put some of my new designs in the front window?

( humming continues )

Window display! My clothes!

Okay with you?! ( humming stops )

Oh, Blythe, you don't have to yell.

I can hear perfectly fine.

Heh. Sorry.

Can I do a new window display today?

I have some new designs.

Great idea!

It'll make this place look even sharper.

Now, have you seen my snake scrubber?

Ah! Oh, no!

( upbeat theme playing )

Is this toy making fun of us?

It doesn't have an off button.

That worries me.

I think those Critter things

are planning an attack to replace us.

See how it's looking at you with those beady eyes.

( gasps, screams )

( laughs )

PENNY LING: A little room here.

( yelling )

These steps are more complicated than I thought.

( grunting )

Maybe you need a shorter scarf.

Yeah, you really should leave the dancing

to the professionals, Penny Ling.

Whoa!

What I do is dancing!

The silk dancer spins. She swirls.

She is like fruit in a blender.

Can fruit dance like this?

( vocalizing )

Hope not.

The silk dance is as effortless as breathing.

( muffled ): Can't breathe!

( gasps )

This is dancing.

This is dancing.

( funky theme playing )

( dramatic theme playing )

( both grunting )

( yelling and grunting )

( grunting )

Bravo!

In all of my worldly travels,

I've never seen such an exciting dance act.

Dance act?

Me and her?

It is tres avant garde!

Masculine and feminine,

cold and hot, cupcakes and oatmeal.

Has anybody seen my squeaky hamburger?

( shrieks )

Madame Pom!

Please tell me I'm having a nightmare.

We meet again, Zoe.

My owner is in town doing some antique shopping

so she dropped me here.

But don't worry, dear, it's only for the day.

Thank goodness.

You two know each other?

Unfortunately.

It's been a long time, hmm, Zoe?

Not long enough.

Two beautiful dogs stand before me.

But I only have one spot open

in our modeling agency for the lap dog division.

That dog will go on to a life of glamour,

celebrity, and enchantment.

The dog who will be staying here is...

( suspenseful theme playing )

Madame Pom!

But of course.

( crowd cheering and applauding )

I was picked and you weren't.

That doesn't mean you're better at modeling than I.

Ladies, please.

Maybe we can agree to disagree?

We disagree! We disagree!

Ah, alone time.

You're in a display window.

Yes, I feel most alone

with people watching me.

I heard an old, should I say,

rival of yours is visiting LPS today.

She is evil. Evil, I tell you.

Well, it's just for the day, Zoe.

I don't know if I can be in the same place

as all that powdered hair for a whole day.

Aren't you being a teeny bit dramatic?

Moi? Dramatic?

No!

I just want the entire universe to shrink

into a tiny speck and float away,

leaving me here in an abyss of irritation.

Abyss of irritation?

TWOMBLY: Oh, no!

What's wrong, Mrs. Twombly?!

I've run out of my

Mrs. Applebottom's Omega Cleaning Spray.

( dramatic theme playing )

Oh, cruel world,

why have you forsaken me?

Okay...

ying )

Well, at least you finished cleaning

before you ran out of your special spray.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

There's dirt everywhere! Look!

Uh... Exactly! They're filthy!

No one can write with these.

Heh-heh-heh. And look!

Someone could have breathed that right into their lungs.

Ah! Both lungs!

Do you want me to go to the store

and get you some more cleaning spray?

Oh, sweet, sweet, innocent child.

What I use just isn't any old cleaning spray.

Mrs. Applebottom's Omega Cleaning Spray

is mixed in a farmhouse kitchen

using bamboo utensils and organic herbs.

The omega s are humanely extracted

from the eggs of free-range chickens

educated in classical music.

The farmers are all certified yoga instructors.

The only place to get this cleaning spray

is the Earth Folks Health Co-op.

Blythe, keep an eye on things while I'm gone.

Heh-heh. No problem, Mrs. Twombly.

You can count on me.

Don't let the place get any dirtier.

Hey, guys, Mrs. Twombly had to run an errand,

so I'll be in charge for a while.

I'm going to be in the front working on a new window display

if anyone needs me.

Oh, I need a massage.

For something important.

Oh, and no roughhousing while Mrs. Twombly is gone.

We need to keep this place clean.

It is getting a little smelly back here.

Oh, you can smell

out of that thing you call a nose?

( growling )

Ladies, please!

( laughs )

And done!

My very first portrait.

Don't worry if it's not perfect, Minka.

It's hard for a novice artist to capture my beauty.

Minka! How could you paint her?

Once again, I was selected as the perfect model.

( gasps )

Ha-ha! Amazing, Minka.

You captured her face exactly.

This is how you see me?

I'm actually more of an abstract painter.

Self-taught, if you can believe it.

Humph!

Oh, don't worry about her, Minka.

I think this is some of your best work.

It is customary for a gentleman

to give up his cushy pillow for a beautiful lady.

Oh, sure.

You may go now.

Madame Pom,

for your entertainment pleasure,

the new dance act of Penny Ling and Vinnie Terrio

present to you a bit of the razzle dazzle,

a touch of the fast-footed fireworks,

a real thrilla in showzilla!

( gasps )

Watch it, you two.

We have to keep this place clean.

And some uh-huh.

And some "Oh, no!"

And some "Oh, yes, he did!"

( vocalizing )

( grunts )

I'm okay!

( continues vocalizing )

( gasps )

Seriously!

( grunting )

( rumbling )

Everything okay back there?

Everything's fine.

Food!

Minka, be quiet!

( upbeat theme playing )

( laughing )

TWOMBLY: I cannot believe that in this country

a health co-op would discontinue carrying

Mrs. Applebottom's Cleaning Spray

because of a little added jet fuel.

We have Cap'n Matey's Key Lime and Mineral cleaning spray.

No, thank you!

I will take my business to the humongous chain store

because they understand freedom.

Wow! You really look like a model in these pictures.

A professional model.

And it's more complicated than just

being perfect looking.

It's a lot of hard work.

I don't normally

visit little pet shops like this.

I'm usually travelling around the world

because of my many, many modeling bookings,

like this one.

SUNIL: Oh, that is very nice.

PEPPER: Nice. Almost makes me wish I had fleas.

Uh, why didn't they just hire a cat?

Oh, Russell, your modeling ignorance is so cute.

Zoe, would you like to see

some professional modeling photos?

Don't need to.

I'm doing modeling projects

for an exciting, new designer.

Well, how come I never see you--

They're always looking for younger and fresher faces.

You can see the pics on my mobile app.

Do you have a mobile app?

My owner has a website. Same thing.

Maybe in the old days of modeling.

I will always model circles around you!

Is that a challenge?

Why? Are you afraid that, once again,

you'll be left holding the doggie bag?

I know the perfect way to settle this, once and for all.

Um, now that we've had a pleasant conversation

about the modeling profession, why don't we clean up this place

before Blythe sees it?

All righty, then.

Nice job, Minka.

The curtain adds drama to the window.

I was thinking we'd shine lights

right on the mannequins.

You won't need mannequins.

We're going to be your models

and you'll judge who does the best.

Is this a good idea?

BOTH: Yes!

TWOMBLY: No Mrs. Applebottoms?!

Hey, everybody!

If you believe in cleanliness, then you've

come to the wrong place!

Until I find Mrs. Applebottom's cleaning spray,

this world will remain dirty!

Dusty! Dank! Musty!

( cackling )

( jazzy theme playing )

Madame Pom,

since you're in the modeling business...

Which is pretty much the same

as the acting and dancing business.

And since us being a team was your idea,

we were wondering if you thought

we were good enough to go pro.

You know, leave the pet shop

and perform together, full time. Like you.

Well, being a professional at anything takes time.

What we need is a dynamite act.

Something that will bring tears of joy and sadness

at the same time.

We float down from the air, like seeds on the wind,

full of potential,

but not yet in bloom.

Okay, yeah, yeah!

But instead of sitting on swings,

we stand,

with sharp-looking hats and maybe a cane too.

I do a few steps

and then she repeats.

( shoes tapping )

MADAME POM: I would add birds.

Birds? ( chirping )

MADAME POM: Yes, like swans or doves.

VINNIE: Oh, I like that.

I'd add one other little tweak.

We let our movement symbolize

the winds of change.

And we spin swirls to symbolize...

( majestic theme playing )

Uh, to symbolize...

To symbolize spinning ribbons in the air.

No, that's not it.

( quacking )

Anyway, what do you think so far?

Vinnie, Penny Ling, you've got

fantastic energy and creativity.

If you want it, go for it.

Now, I really need to get back to looking at myself.

( both chuckle )

Zoe, do you think having a model-off

with Madame Pom is going to prove anything?

Yes. It's going to prove once and for all

that I am the better model.

Do you really care

if you're a better model than Madame Pom?

Or is this all because you lost

some contest to her in the past?

Of course I care about being a model.

Kind of.

Sort of.

Not really.

Oh, I guess I really just wanted to win.

MADAME POM: Need advice on your walk, Zoe?

What is that supposed to mean?

Zoe, let it go.

I assumed, with all my experience,

you might want advice.

I don't want you to embarrass yourself.

Uh-oh.

I'll have you know

that I have done plenty of modeling,

especially for Blythe's amazing designs.

And thank you, but I don't need any help!

( jazzy theme playing )

You thought you could just walk in here

and hypnotize everyone into thinking you're so great,

like you did to those poor judges in the modeling contest.

Well, not today, sister!

What I have found works best is when you snap!

And then snap!

And pow!

Bang!

Let me show you how it's done.

( upbeat dance theme playing )

Pose!

And pose!

And pose!

MADAME POM: Snap! ZOE: Pose!

MADAME POM: Bang! ZOE: Pose!

( vocalizing )

♪ I'm dancin' It's a dancin' day ♪

♪ I've been singing songs Since yesterday ♪

♪ I'm more than just happy

♪ I'm more than okay

Do you know any

sitting-still-in-a-chair dances?

( majestic theme playing )

( vocalizing )

( gasps )

This must be where they take over and replace us!

We're doomed! Gather your loved ones!

The end is near!

How'd you get off your shelf, little fella?

Zoe, Madame Pom,

I'm going to the back of the store for a minute.

Are you guys going to be good?

It's on. Like a bon bon.

( electronica theme playing )

Dirty, dusty, dank and musty.

Dirty! Dusty!

Dank and musty!

Dirty! ( yells )

( sniffing )

Oh, do I smell omega s?

( Vinnie and Penny Ling vocalizing )

What the what?!

( frantic theme playing )

What happened?

It's not as bad as it looks.

Right, guys?

If you don't count the fact that we're being taken over

by an evil horde of robotic toys who may or may not

t*rture us before they destroy us,

then, yes, it is not so bad.

Very helpful, Sunil.

VINNIE: Grand finale time!

Vinnie, no!

No!

( yells )

( glass breaking, screaming )

Well, that wasn't the finish I had in mind.

( both laughing )

My...

This reminds me of a show I did one time.

I actually tripped off the end of the stage

and landed in someone's lap.

Seriously? You?

Yes, me.

I bet that never would have happened to you.

You were the better walker, you know.

But you were the better model.

Honestly.

I just hated losing.

Oh.

Don't get me wrong.

You're still the biggest diva I've ever met.

And proud of it.

BOTH: Ta-da!

( phone ringing )

Hello?

TWOMBLY: Hello, dear...

Heh. Okay, Mrs. Twombly.

See you in minutes.

In minutes, she'll be back

and she'll never trust me again!

Pets, we've been in tough spots before.

Some tougher, some spottier.

But if Zoe and Madame Pom can pull together,

if Vinnie and Penny Ling can dance--

Or whatever they call it.

--as a team, then we can work together and fix this mess.

Friends pull through for friends.

I've been wrong before, and this could be one of those times,

but maybe, just maybe...

( Pepper snoring )

Dude, we got minutes.

Oh, right. Let's clean!

( upbeat pop theme playing )

Hey, can I tell you something?

We make a great team.

I think so too.

But maybe for everyone's safety,

we should both stay as solo acts.

TWOMBLY: Oh, hello!

( suspenseful theme playing )

I finally found my--

( gasps )

What is this?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Twombly.

This place looks better than when I left it!

I can't believe you finished cleaning for me, Blythe.

Now, what were you saying about being sorry, dear?

I'm sorry about the one pet hair on the counter.

Oh. I had no idea

you were such a clean freak, Blythe.

( humming )

What the huh? Looks like Mrs. Twombly's

clean fever just broke.

( all coughing )

( upbeat pop theme playing )

♪ We can be ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Who we wanna be ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ At the Littlest Pet Shop You and me ♪