04x13 - Petnapped!

[bunniefuu]

Breaking news! Brazen robbery at Stacie Mansion!

Sally Hairspray reporting.

Police say the crooks entered the house

in the ritzy Upper Heights neighborhood last night

and made off with millions in jewels and valuables.

The thieves even took a very rare pet-

[click]

Come on! Ah! Hey!

Sorry, but I recorded 'The Duchess of Lancashire Lane'.

It's the season finale!

I have to watch this right now

before somebody spoils it for me.

I'm surprised none of you have already told me what happened.

Well, not that surprising since none of us watch the show!

No talking to me while I'm watching

'Duchess of Lancashire Lane'!

I don't want to miss anything.

You can't miss anything. Nothing ever happens.

I beg to differ. 'D.O.L.L.' is full of exciting moments.

[slurp]

[slurp]

[long slurp]

I say, another spot of tea, please.

OK, so there's not a whole lot of action.

That's because they're setting you up

for the big reveals in the end.

Everything's going to happen in this episode.

Now will you all please be quiet so I can press play?

Huh? What's going on? Why isn't it playing?

Most likely because you didn't press 'play'

You pressed, um, 'delete'.

♪ [horror movie notes]

NOOOOOOO!

♪ You think about all the things ♪

♪ That you love to do

♪ It all comes true

♪ You find a place you never knew ♪

♪ Where you're happy to

♪ Just be you!

♪ We can be [yeah]

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me We can be [yeah] ♪

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me

Blythe! I accidentally deleted the show I recorded on the DVR!

How do I get it back?

Sorry Russell, I don't think you can.

But don't worry, they rerun shows all the time.

I checked and it'll be weeks before it's on again.

I'm supposed to host my DOLL meeting later today!

Doll meeting? I am soooo confused.

D.O.L.L.: 'Duchess of Lancashire Lane'!

I host a weekly group where we recap and critique the episodes.

I serve tea and pet crumpets, just like on the show.

It's a whole thing.

Whoa. That sounds even more boring than the show.

Which may explain why we've never ever noticed the meetings.

That's why you're not invited, Sunil.

Now, how am I going to host the group,

if I don't even know what happened on the final episode?

Well, you can always look online.

There are websites that post recaps of just about every show.

You can't get the nuances of 'Duchess'

from simply reading a recap.

I need to see it to experience it.

Sunil: I have an idea.

What if we get the recap and perform it for you?

You mean like a play?

Sunil, you want us to act out everything that happened?

How hard could it be? Nothing ever happens.

Hm. That just might work.

But you have to promise to really play the parts well.

You know they will, Russell.

Here's my tablet for you to look up the episode's re-cap.

Ooh, this is almost as exciting as episode

when the duchess ran out of tea!

Another catastrophe averted at Littlest Pet Shop.

She's trying to say something.

The poor dear has apparently lost her bark.

What's the matter, dear?

Ooooh! Charades! I love this game.

OK, is it Snowballs? Cheese Danish?

No, I'm pretty sure it's not that.

[door opens]

Hi, Blythe. What's going on?

Oh, hi, Youngmee. This cute little cocker spaniel's

trying to tell us something, but I'm not sure what it is.

Huh, I think she's saying that she lost her voice.

Maybe from barking too much?

What the huh? How did you--

Oh, she's trembling. Nutmeg Dash seems to be afraid of something.

OK, I see how you can tell she's scared,

but how do you know her name is Nutmeg Dash?

Well, I don't know if that's really her name,

but it should be.

I mean, look at her beautiful coat like the color of nutmeg.

And the sparkle in her eye tells me

she has just a dash of spice.

Youngmee, that's unreal! How do you know all this stuff?

I dunno. I find that I can just understand her.

We have a... connection.

Wow! You've been searching for the perfect pet,

and then this one just walks into the shop.

I mean, that's remarkable!

[door opens]

[terrible British accent] Pardon me.

I've lost me dog, and... By Jove! There he is!

You've been a naughty lad. Now come to Daddy.

Um, can we help you?

Me name is Bartholemew Backus, the third.

I'm the owner of this here pure-bred Spanish spaniel.

Oh. Well, how do we know you're the owner?

Do you have any papers?

She doesn't have a dog tag.

Blimey! Must've fallen off.

Oh! There's a marking on that there underbelly.

A crown shape under the fur.

There it is, Blythe.

That's me boy!

Uh, she's a girl.

Figure of speech. 'Cheerio', and, uh, 'Corn Flakes'!

Blythe, this is terrible.

Nutmeg was trying to tell us something was wrong.

We can't let that guy get away with her.

Are you sure?

Positive. Nutmeg and I made a connection.

I don't know how I know, but I know. You know?

Youngmee, if anybody 'knows', it's me. Zoe, come with us!

Mrs. Twombly, I'm taking Zoe for a walk!

Now let's go rescue Nutmeg Dash!

[gasp]

Dumb dog almost got away!

Why do we even care about the dog?

This pooch is the most valuable thing

of the entire Stacie Mansion haul, knucklehead!

Ah! The truck's pulling away!

Ugh! We lost them. Oh, Nutmeg.

Wait Blythe, look!

Huh. It's a pearl.

There's another one! In fact, it's a trail of pearls!

Nutmeg Dash is helping us track her!

She's trying to show us these guys are up to no good. Come on!

OK, I found the recap of the final episode of

'Duchess of Lancashire Lane' online

and I've printed a copy for each of you.

Minka, you're playing 'Mugglesby Ropp', the grumpy cook.

Penny Ling, you're the maid, 'Sinisclaire Jintzy'.

Pepper, you're 'Peeves', the butler.

Oh, I get it. The BUTT-ler. [laughs]

Mmm-hmm. Good one. Vinnie, you'll be playing 'The Duke'.

Wait a second, who's going to play the 'Duchess'?

That would be me.

So... How's it going?

Well, so far we have got every--

No, don't tell me!

I don't want to hear any spoilers. LALALALALA!

Russell, if you don't want to know,

then maybe you should go over there.

Ah. Good idea.

Cause I definitely don't want to know.

Now then, when I walk in, my line is...

Don't worry, I can't hear you!

[barks]

Another pearl. Look! It's the truck!

They must be in that warehouse.

Whoa, look at all that stuff.

[gasp] I just realized who these guys are...

They're the ones who robbed Stacie Mansion!

I bet they also stole Nutmeg Dash!

Which means she's not even theirs to sell!

Crook: So glad youse could make it to my, uh... showroom,

Mr. Stuffinpoof.

Let's not dilly dally.

You said on the telephone you've got a spaniel

derived from the bloodline of Spanish royalty.

I'm sure you're aware that such a specimen

is both extremely rare and extremely valuable

to collectors like me.

Oh, I know. And you will not be disappointed.

Yes, yes, a fine spaniel.

But as you know, a royal would have the mark of--

[gasp] It's true! The rarest of the breed!

I must have this pet! Name your price.

Oh, no! He is going to sell Nutmeg!

C'mon, Blythe, we need to get help!

We don't have time!

Youngmee, I have an idea.

And up next, the exciting finale of the

'Duchess of Lancashire Lane'...in color.

Oh, this is more exciting than episode when the duchess sat

and silently read a newspaper for the whole hour.

[slurp]

La, la la. Dusting always makes me think of spring. In fact--

STOP! FYI, I usually fast forward past the scenes

from last season, so you can just skip ahead.

Scenes from last season?

Yeah. Don't get me wrong,

the spring dusting scene was great.

Just get to the beginning of this episode.

What are you talking about?

I don't even know!

This is the beginning!

So confused!

Oh, no! The date on this recap is from... LAST YEAR!

You mean, we've been rehearsing the wrong season finale

this whole time? Criminy!

Well, come on. I can't wait for all the great surprise reveals.

He's not gonna like the 'surprise reveal'

we have for him.

No! We can't let Russell down. We have the costumes.

We know the characters; we can still do this!

The show must go on! Now get in there and improvise!

That means make stuff up as you go.

Got it! Milady, I am so glad to see you.

Yes?

Yes.

Ooohh, the classic 'Duchess of Lancashire Lane tension build'.

I love it!

Yes. Well, you are... an excellent maid. Or so you say.

I do say that... all the time.

Well, if you say you're a maid,

why, when I looked in your chambers this morning,

did I find... THIS!

[gasp] You caught me. I've been posing as a maid for years.

But today, I must finally admit...

I've been hiding my true identity as a plumber.

I should have known! The way she always looked at pipes...

Duchess, did you just hear what Sinisclaire revealed?

I did. And since you were so honest, Sinisclaire,

I have my own secret to reveal.

I am not a Duchess. I am... your sister.

And I am your mother!

No you're not.

No, I'm not! I just don't remember things very well.

Because you have... amnesia.

That's right! I forgot I have amnesia, because...

I have amnesia!

And, I don't know how to cook!

So what have we been eating all these years?

I don't know!

[gasp]

Here's your price, Backus. And the canine?

Not so fast. We heard about the Royal Spanish Spaniel,

and we wish to make an offer as well.

And who is you?

My name is Norma Jean Standalone,

famous dog collector.

And this is one of my dog walkers, Olivia.

Well, I've already arranged to purchase

the Royal Spanish Spaniel.

Tell him, my good man.

Well, if youse ladies got a better offer...

We'll double his offer.

Well, I won't be outbid. I'll double their double!

Then, we'll triple it.

That is outrageous!

I demand you sell the Royal Spanish Spaniel to me!

Sorry. Sounds like Ms. Standalone has more, uh...

means to give the pooch a proper home.

Well! I never!

Ladies? Uh-uh. Not so fast. The dough first.

Olivia, my checkbook.

Er, uh, I think we may have left it at home, ma'am.

Hey! What's goin' on here? Are you ladies on the up and up?

[laughs] Nonsense, we just have a temporary cash-flow problem.

Uh, I suggest we take the doggie

and return with the money later.

I thought I recognized you!

You're those girls from that pet shop!

[barks]

Hey! OOF!

Let's get out of here!

[panting]

Gotcha!

Let Nutmeg go!

Get lost, kids. Go back to your little pet shop.

Yes, this is Blythe Baxter.

We just found the guys who robbed Stacie Mansion.

Yes! At a warehouse downtown on Beaumont Circle. Hurry!

You'll regret that, little lady!

Come on boys, let's clear all this stuff out

before the coppers get here.

Oh, no! They're going to escape!

Not if the police get here first.

But what if they don't? We can't let them get away...

not with Nutmeg Dash!

That is why, even as the light fades away for the last time

on this English countryside...

I will forever think of myself as...

The Duchess of Lancashire Lane.

[slobs]

[sobs]

Yes! Hooray! Bravo! Bravo! Best. Episode. EVER!

So, you liked it?

Are you kidding? Some of those reveals were so off the wall,

there was no way I could see them coming.

I mean, who would have thought that the duchess

had a secret casino

that she operated in the mansion basement?

Yeah, that was pretty good.

I can't wait to dish about it at the D.O.L.L. club meeting.

Uh, you're going to talk about it at the meeting?

So, when is this meeting?

In about half an hour. Ooo!

I'd better get the tea and crumpets ready.

If Russell talks about this fake episode at his DOLL club,

he'll make a fool of himself.

Hurry, youse guys!

Everyting's gotta be packed back into the truck

before the coppers get here!

We've got to stop them from leaving.

We're just two kids and a dog, a fabulous dog, granted,

but still, how do we b*at three grown men?

All we've got to work with is all this fancy stuff.

We can work with that!

♪♪

[clatter]

♪♪

[crash]

♪♪

[thud]

[crackle]

♪♪

[crash]

♪♪

Phew!

[crashing]

[gasp] Nutmeg! I'll save you!

♪♪

[barks]

Huh?

Whoa!

You'll never get away with that pooch!

[buzz]

Oh, no! The door's closing! Youngmee! Nutmeg! Hurry up!

[panting]

♪♪

[police sirens]

NO!

Blythe: Phew! We're lucky that turned out OK.

We really should have waited for the police.

[barks]

Nutmeg, you got your bark back!

And my voice. Just in time to save you, Youngmee.

Nutmeg just said-

That one you might not have to translate for me, Blythe.

I think I understand her perfectly.

Welcome, D.O.L.L. members,

to the final Duchess of Lancashire Lane

fan club meeting of the season.

I think you'll all agree that we have a lot to talk about.

Uh, Russell.

You can't talk about the episode we acted out for you.

Everything you saw was just made up by us.

That's impossible. Nobody could make up such an amazing episode.

We had to. I accidentally downloaded the recap

to last season's finale,

and we didn't notice until it was too late.

Look, here is the real recap from last night's episode.

But this episode is so... boring!

NOTHING HAPPENS!

Exactly.

Sorry we tricked you, Russell.

We just didn't want to disappoint.

It's OK. I liked your episode way better than this one.

But, here's how you can make it up to me.

...I will forever think of myself as...

A Duchess of Lancashire Lane.

[slurp]

[sobs]

[applause]

Thank you! And thank you all for coming

to the 'Duchess of Lancashire Lane' fan-fiction club meeting.

Blythe: So the police brought all the stolen items

back to Stacie Mansion.

It all belonged to William Stacie,

the billionaire who recently passed away.

Including Nutmeg Dash? What's going to happen to her?

Well, everything William Stacie owned is being donated

to charity organizations, including Nutmeg Dash.

[sigh] Hopefully, she'll find a good home.

[door opens]

[barks]

Nutmeg Dash!

Well, I'm guessing you're Youngmee Song.

I'm Jensen Benson, an attorney for the William Stacie estate.

The police told me about the remarkable young ladies

who saved the day, one of whom seemed to have a connection

with Nutasha Margareta Dashiniola, or ...

Nutmeg Dash.

Mr. Stacie left specific instructions in his will that

'Nutmeg Dash will decide herself who her next owner shall be.'

Now, I had no idea how Nutmeg Dash could possibly do that.

You should be my new owner, Youngmee.

Oh, Youngmee, Nutmeg Dash wants you.

Yeah, I know.

I think we all can figure out what Nutmeg Dash wants.

I don't even think you guys could've come up

with a better ending.

True dat, my friend. True dat.

Really? Cause actually I have some notes on that ending.

Cool, cool. OK, so when the attorney came in,

I think his dialog was a little too 'on the nose.'

And what was with his name?

We can come up with something better than that.