05x10 - A Flea in Her Dome/The Donut of Shame/The Krusty Plate

[bunniefuu]

(wailing)

There, there, SpongeBob.

No need to cry.

Yes, there is, Patrick.

Sandy's been gone
for two whole days.

Two whole days?!

(sobbing)

Oh, why'd she have to go

to that science
convention
in Taos?

Taos?

She won't be back
for one more hour,

minutes and seconds.

Oh, seconds!

(sobbing)

I miss Sandy so much.

Her tentacles,

the way she plays
clarinet,

her massive nose.

Patrick, that's Squidward.

He's not gone, he's right here.

No, I'm not.

I sure do miss that squirrel.

Her karate chopping,

that ten-gallon glass dome
over her dome,

and who can forget

those buck teeth?

After Sandy gets back,

we're going to let her know
how much we miss her.

Is Sandy the one
l call Mom?

No, Patrick, that's your mother.

But that does give me an idea.

We'll throw Sandy
the mother of all
welcome home parties.

Patrick, to the tree dome!

(cheering)

(breathing deeply)

Ah.

(gasps)

Huh?

(grunting)

We've readied this place
for Sandy's arrival,

which should be in about,
whoo, right now.

♪ Welcome home, Sandy ♪

♪ You know that we missed you ♪

(screaming):
No!

No one wants to hear you sing!

Sorry, SpongeBob,

he's got a fierce
no-singing policy.

That's quite all right,
Miss Cheeks.

As long as you don't have
a fierce no-partying policy.

(giggling)

First, cake,

then we'll karate chop,
and then...

Wow, guys.

You two, uh...

really know how to, uh...

throw a party.

I knew it!

You have been itching to see us.

Well, something's
making my skin crawl.

Maybe a slice of cake
will take your mind

off your crawling hide.

Patrick and I made this cake
especially for your return.

This is going to taste
so good again.

Dig in, Sandy.

Uh...

Looks tasty, SpongeBob.

You okay, Sandy?

I-I'm fine.

My skin just hasn't adjusted

to this here underwater air.

Uh... hey, Sandy.

Sandy.

Surprise!

Patrick and I chipped in

and got you a little
somethin' somethin'.

Aww, guys, you shouldn't have.

A new itch board?

I mean a new snowboard?

Boy, I can't wait to scratch
this down Chafe Mountain.

Don't you mean ride this
down Scab Mountain?

Thank you very rawness,
SpongeBob and Pat.

Uh, you're welcome, Sandy.

Hey, are you still up
for some karate chops?

Rash is sore.

I mean, sure.

You ready?

(groaning)

And how about now?

You ready?

(grunting)

Creeping critters, feels like
something is biting me.

(screeching)

I've got a flea?

Well, I ain't gonna take that
without a fight.

Hi... yah!

I'll get you.

(grunting)

SpongeBob,

my suitcase.

Hurry.

I'm ashamed to say
this, SpongeBob,

but while I was in Texas,

l seemed to have
picked up a flea.

What's a flea?

A flea is a dastardly
little vermin

that bites us air breathers.

But this here flea collar will
send the critter a-runnin'.

(giggling)

He tickles.

Oh, this isn't so bad.

Ow!

(gasps) He bit me!

Got any more of those
fancy collars, Sandy?

No, but you can use
this one right quick.

Ow!

Ah, ooh, ow, ooh,

ah, yah, aah.

(panting)

(laughing)

Connect the dots.

I drawed a horsey.

Ouch.

Why does this flea
keep biting me?

'Cause he's hungry.

When a flea bites you,

it's 'cause he's
sucking up your blood

for nutrition.

I've been bit by a vampire flea!

No!

I'm going to turn
into a vampire now.

It's already happening!

Oh, oh!

(blows raspberry)

(teeth clacking)
Patrick,

there ain't no such
thing as vampires.

(groaning)

Doesn't matter!

Oh, this itch is k*lling me.

Yeah!

(screeching)

(screaming)

Give me that.

Phew.

(screams)
Oh!

Sandy, please, help me.

I need this.

I need it more!

(screaming)

(gasps)

(scratching)

(screaming)

(gasping)

(sighing)

(grunting)

(screeching)

(screaming)

(panting)

Enough!

I will not take
this anymore!

What you going to
do now, punks?

Looky, it worked.

Phew.

I'm glad that's over.

Um, is that what over
looks like?

SANDY:
Tarnation!

They're multiplying like mad!

(all scream)

Run!

BOTH:
Okay.

(all panting)

Whoa.
Hey!

Y'all got the aim of a
cross-eyed armadillo.

ALL:
Whoa!

Run again!

Okay.
Okay.

(gasps)

(screaming)

Uh, thanks for
having us, Sandy,
but we got to go.

Yeah, good to see you.

(screaming)

Help!
Help!

BOTH (muffled):
Help!

Just ignore them, Squidward,

and continue your power walk.

Heel, toe, heel, toe,

heel, toe, heel toe.

SANDY:
Back off!

(grunting)

Sandy!

Oh, no!

Are you okay?

Them varmints is tough.

They're from Texas.
Phew!

It's going to be all right.

We will help you.

(screaming)

Okay, you know what?

None of this would have happened

if you didn't come back
with your infestation!

All you've brought us is fleas

and trouble and pain
and itching and a rash.

And pain and fleas

and itching and... pain.

So much pain!

So much pain.

And as for you,

if you hadn't thrown this party,

we wouldn't be in this mess.

Wait a minute.

You had as much to do
with this party as I did.

You call this a party?

I'm beginning to question
our friendship.

Stop smudging my helmet.

Oh, I've got half a mind, buddy.

Will you two men
stop yelling at each other?

What does that prove?

If we're going to get out
of this,

we've got to work together.

You're right.

I have an idea.

SpongeBob, you get
on Sandy's shoulders.

Uh-huh.

Good.

Now, I'll get on top of you.

(Patrick sighs)

(munching)

(belching)

Ah, much better.

(gasps)

I do not play games.

(laughing maniacally)

Quick!
Get in the tree house.

It's the only safe place left.

(shivering)

We should be protected here.

(rumbling)

Hold on!

(beeping)

Is this how we're going to spend
the rest of our lives?

Living in fleas
instead of water?

SpongeBob!

That's it.

Water!

(karate yells)

Hyah!

(sobbing)

Water!

lt sure is good
to have you back, Sandy.

(groans)

(panting)

(gasps)

What? What happened?

Where am I?

Oh, yeah. The party!

l must have passed out
in SpongeBob's kitchen...

on the ceiling.

See, SpongeBob?

l told you
we shouldn't stay up past : .

Things get real crazy
after : .

Would you like another spot
of tea, Ms. Nibsy?

Oh, you would?

Whoo-hoo! Chamomile,
chamomile, chamomile!

Boy, she really knows how to
pound them down, huh, SpongeBob?

(snoring)
SpongeBob?

SpongeBob?
(snoring)

Sponge...

That's a good-looking doughnut.

Oh! Oh...!

(laughing)

Whoa!

What the...?

This doughnut's connected
to SpongeBob.

Oh...

Oh.

It worked!

A beautiful specimen
of doughnuthood.

A doughnut this nice deserves
to be served on fine china.

A good plate.

Don't worry, doughnut.

No longer will you suffer
the indignity

of sub-par diningware.

I don't think I've ever seen
a doughnut this nice before.

Except maybe that doughnut
SpongeBob showed me last night.

A doughnut this nice could
really make a guy happy.

(snoring)

This is SpongeBob's delicious...

(gulps)

(garbled muttering)

It's SpongeBob's!

(sobbing)

Go on and eat it.

What are you waiting for?

Don't do it.
It's SpongeBob's doughnut.

Don't listen to him.

He's covered
with sprinkles.

(sobbing)

I hate conflict!

lt couldn't get
any easier than this.

Just hook a chain to it,
pop it in your mouth,

and then, when your
sponge friend wants it back,

just yank it out.

l hate to admit it,
but that's a great idea.

Mmm!

Ah!

And now...

(gasps)

SpongeBob's doughnut... I ate it!

(forced coughing)

I've got to sneak this back into
SpongeBob's house before he...

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Hey, Patrick.
Huh?!

Hey, Star. It's SquarePants.

That was some party last night,
huh, buddy?
Huh?!

That's exactly
how I feel about it.

Ahh! Lucky for us,
I videotaped the whole party,

so we can relive it
over and over and over again.

Don't watch that tape!

I'm waiting to watch it
with you, silly fish.

I'll be right over.

Sheesh! Patrick's so excited,
I'd better not keep him waiting.

Oh, no.

That video will show me
stealing SpongeBob's doughnut.

Oh, oh, oh!

I got to hide this thing.

(gasps)

(screaming)

(thundering footsteps)

Phew!

(sighs with relief)

Hey, Patrick, I...

(screaming)

Doughnut!

You monster!

You're a monster!

Oh!

Oh-oh-oh...

Nothing goes with a video
like toast.

Let's pop some toast in the
toaster and watch this bad boy.

(screams)

(screaming)

(water splashing)

(sighs)

Get out of the way, Patrick.
l've got to go!

Oh!

The attic.

(thundering footsteps)

Wait. I don't have an attic.

Ow!

Oh, I know. The attic.

(screaming)

Hey, Patrick.

(gasps)

Hey... hey, SpongeBob.

Are you ready to...?

I don't have anything
behind my back,

so don't look there.

Okay. No problem.

Ready to see this?

The official testament
of how heartily we party hardy.

No!

(sobbing)

I took it, SpongeBob!

I took your doughnut.

I'm sorry!

Oh, Patrick, you really need
to see this video.

I want to give you this
because you're my buddy,

and a doughnut this nice
could really make a guy happy.

You mean... this is mine?

Of course.
It was your birthday.

When?

Last night, silly.

Oh! Thanks, buddy.

Want to share it?

Sure, pal.

Pretty good, huh?

Well, good night, folks.

Come again!

Thought those deadbeats
would never leave.

Closing time, SpongeBob!

There you go, little buddy.

Now everybody's all clean
and ready for beddy-bye.

Time to pack it in,
SpongeBob. (shrieks)

All ready, Mr. Krabs.

Just got to clock out.

SpongeBob! What's the
meaning of this?

(shrieks)

Spot! Spot!

Spot!

That's right.

A spot.

You know the rule.

Nobody leaves work till...

Till everything's
ship-shape, sir.

Don't worry, Mr. Krabs.

I'll get this plate
cleaned up in a jiffy.

Oh, and lock up
when you're done.

Lock up?

Wait, Mr. Krabs.

Don't you remember
what happened

last time you left
me here alone?

Should've never left you alone

with a lit blowtorch
and my roller skates.

But since I've removed
all the welding equipment

from the premises,
there's no chance

of that happening again, right?

Now get to work.

Aye-aye, sir.

♪ La la la la la la. ♪

(squeaking)

Oh, you're a tough
little guy, aren't you?

This means w*r.

(panting)

Wait here, please.

Say good night, dried-on filth.

Ready! Aim! Fire!

That is the last straw!

I want you to remember,
you made me do this.

(spitting)

No!

I gotta finish this.

I am afraid this is

the last time we'll be meeting
like this, my friend.

Allow me to introduce you
to the Spot Master .

Notice the microwave-powered
laser particle beam.

Notice the laser-guided
high-pressure water cannon.

And notice the little surprise
l installed just for you...

a specially-woven metal
alloy ingeniously combined

with state-of-the-art
cleansing materials.

I call it... steel wool!

And it comes with a laser.

Any last words?

Mm... I thought not.

Power up!

Water cannon... on!

No effect.

Steel wool laser... on!

Hmm.

Strange vortex in the west.

Well, it's probably nothing
to do with SpongeBob.

Okay, you asked for it.

It may end life as we know it,
but I am crossing the beams!

More power!

Spontaneous molecular
distortion?

Hmm. I guess I'd better
go see what the lad's up to.

More power!

Oh, boy. This
doesn't look good.

More power!

Let's see what he's done
this time.

Maximum power!

(screaming):
More!!

Oh, this time you done it, boy!

What do you got to
say for yourself?

The platter's all
clean, Mr. Krabs.

Oh, I'll clean your platter!

Come here, you!