06x06 - A Life in a Day/Sun Bleached

[bunniefuu]

Are you ready, kids?

[kids] Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

Under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow

And porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense

Be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck

And flop like a fish ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

-Ready?

[all] ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

[laughs]

[plays airy tune]

[slurps] Mmm. This is how

to live. Isn't it my friend?

-You said it, buddy.

-[engine roaring]

[both scream]

[both scream]

[engine revs]

[cheering]

-He's amazing.

-I'll say.

[buzzer sounds]

[beeping]

[breaks screech]

[both] Whoa!

[tires screech]

[cheering]

Who is that guy?

That's Larry the Lobster.

He's, like, livin' large!

-What's your secret, Larry?

-Well, you gotta take risks.

Live on the edge.

[all] Ooh!

And you can't, uh,

and you can't...

[whimpering]

And you can't live

like these two.

Just look at them. Spineless.

Weak.

Afraid of their own shadows.

[both scream]

[both whimper]

Pathetic.

Larry, how can they redeem

their worthless lives?

I'll tell you how.

By living each day

as if it were their last.

How do we do that?

By living like me. Larry.

-But what's tha--

-Up. Up. Up. Up.

By livin'...

[quietly] ...like Larry.

[both] Livin' like Larry.

Livin' like Larry.

Livin' like Larry.

Livin' like Larry.

[breathing]

-This is bogus.

-What's that, Pat?

SpongeBob, these are

the best years of our lives

and you wanna waste them

blowing bubbles?

We should be

living in the moment.

We oughta be livin' like Lar...

[neighing]

This is it, SpongeBob.

This is where we redeem

our miserable lives.

It's time to start...

livin' like Larry!

Whoo-hoo!

-[neighing]

-Whoo!

[laughs]

Whoo-hoo! Ye-haw! Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Hey, SpongeBob! SpongeBob?

I'm livin' like Larry. Whoo-hoo!

Where were you, SpongeBob?

That was awesome.

Hey, Patrick, where you going?

To live, my friend.

We are going to live.

[gulps]

This is gonna be

the most fun yet.

[bell dings]

I don't know about this,

Patrick.

You must defeat your reason

before you can start...

livin' like Larry!

Whoo-hoo! SpongeBob!

This is it!

[screams]

[whimpers]

-[screams]

-[crashing]

[SpongeBob hums]

♪ Livin' like Larry ♪

♪ Do, do, di, di, di

Livin' like Larry ♪

♪ Livin' like Larry ♪

Come on, SpongeBob. What are

you waiting for? Let's go.

But, Patrick,

where are we going?

Just you wait.

It's the ultimate.

[pants]

What do you think?

And wait till you see

the best part.

Hey, you guys?

[roaring, growling]

I don't know, Patrick.

This looks really danger--

Here's to livin' like Larry.

Wait a minute. I think

you're missing the point.

Livin' like Larry doesn't mean

throwing caution to the wind,

risking everything on a stunt

that will cost you your life.

Uh, don't you mean

cost us our lives, SpongeBob?

No, Patrick. I mean your life.

I'm not going.

I see. And that's your final

word on the subject?

Mm-hmm.

I feel sorry for you.

Whoo-hoo!

[laughs]

-Yeah!

-[shredding, chomping]

[screaming]

[belch]

I wonder how Patrick's doing

with his livin' like Larry

thing.

SpongeBob.

[pants] SpongeBob!

[pants]

You were right, SpongeBob.

I went too far. I went too far!

[cries]

It's OK, buddy. I think

you've learned your lesson, hmm?

Uh-huh.

Don't make us come in there,

kid.

You just let me

handle those guys out there.

[angry yelling]

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

[silence]

I know that you might be angry

with my friend

for his shenanigans,

but you are not the only victim.

His reckless thrill chasing

has left him a hollow shell

of his former self. Just look.

So, let me assure you,

his days of "living in

the moment" are over.

Can you not forgive him

for whatever he did?

Sure, pal. Sure.

By the way, what did he do

that made you all so cranky?

He knocked over our motorcycles.

[chuckles nervously]

[panting]

So scared. Adrenaline pumping.

Spine tingling.

Endorphins rushing!

I've never felt so alive!

Oh, yeah, baby, yeah!

This is what Patrick

was talking about.

This is really living

in the moment.

Oh, yeah! This. Is. Life!

Whoo! Whoo!

Oh, yes! Whoo!

Now I am really

livin' like Larry!

Whoa!

Are you sure about this,

SpongeBob?

What happened

to being in the moment?

I don't know, SpongeBob.

This looks pretty dangerous.

Yeah, yeah, you said it, buddy.

Now we're really

livin' like Larry!

Well, will you look at that.

Now there's two guys

who know how to live.

Prepare for countdown.

I'm proud of them.

Wait a minute.

With that angle of trajectory

they'll land right in

Ripper's Reef.

They'll be ripped to shreds!

Wait! Don't do it! Stop!

Three, two, one, lift off.

Drat!

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-whoo-whoo!

Whoa!

Look, guys, my advice wasn't

meant to be taken literally.

I meant to live life to the

fullest, not to maim yourselves.

Look!

Uh-oh.

[screams]

[screams]

[both wail, groan]

Hey, what are you two lazy bones

doing lying around?

There's a really cool ramp

down the hall.

I got room for two more.

What would Larry do?

What would Larry do?

I'll show you

what Larry would do!

Come here!

Come here, I said!

Hey!

[laughter]

Whoo! Yeah!

I thought you left your swimsuit

at home.

No. I just didn't want it

to get all wrinkled up!

Last one in is a rotten egg!

[giggles]

Rotten eggs? [giggles]

[laughter, cheering]

-Honey.

-Huh?

You're not using that Tan

Accelerator again, are you?

Oh, don't pretend

like you don't love it!

[sighs]

-Good work, man!

-[gasps]

I see you've read my book!

-Craig Mammalton?!

-The tannest man on TV?!

[chuckles] None other!

[excited chattering]

Oh, look at

those gorgeous wrinkles!

What, these?!

[screaming, cheering]

Oh, and his skin.

It's so... leathery!

Well, I don't mean to brag,

but...

[cheering]

Who's Craig Mammalton?

You don't know

who Craig Mammalton is?!

He is, like, so tan!

Legend has it that his tan

is so deep

that even his bones

are a rich caramel brown!

[both] Wow!

His mother must be so proud!

Please, people. Please.

There will be plenty of time

to admire my body this weekend

at my annual summer shindig!

[screaming, cheering]

Wow, Patrick! An invitation

to our first summer shindig!

And here it is!

[grunts]

Can I help you, little fella?

[grunts] Seems to be stuck.

Yeah, I don't think

this is your type of party.

I don't want to

embarrass you guys.

Hey, everyone! Check this out!

But this party is for

the pigmentally gifted.

Must be this tan to enter.

And your skin's

as light and smooth as,

uh, well, as a baby's bottom.

[laughter]

Why, thank you.

We did put on a few extra coats

of sunscreen today.

In fact...

it's time for another coat.

We've gotta look our best.

-[coughs] Losers!

-[laughter]

You're not coming to my party

without a tan.

There! Now we've turned

your rock into a tanning bed,

we're sure to get tan enough

for the party!

Let's just test it out

first to be sure.

[buzzing, ticking]

[ding]

[both] Hooray!

[giggling]

Me first! Me first!

[buzzing, ticking]

[ding]

Patrick! How do you feel?

Like one of those hip young old

folks from a soda commercial.

It's Radical!

Radical!

Drink it!

My turn!

Remember, Patrick,

seconds exactly!

Gotcha! Fifteen seconds,

give or take a few minutes.

No, Patrick! Fifteen seconds

exactly! It's really import...

[buzzing]

It's working!

[gasps] OK, Patrick! I'm done!

Patrick? Patrick? Are you there?

Patrick?

What? Did somebody

say something? Huh.

-[all giggle]

-[all] Hey there!

Is that tan for us?

What?

Uh, Patrick?

It's time for me to get out!

[giggling]

Do you really have to go,

Patrick?

Afraid so. Bye, girls.

[all] Bye, Pat.

[sighs] He's so leathery!

[yawns]

Well, Patrick, how do I look?

[screams]

Oh, it's you.

You don't look too good.

What, what, what do you mean?

-See for yourself.

-[screams]

I must've been under

the tanning machine too long.

[cries]

Eww! What are you gonna do?

I'll ask Squidward.

He's always so helpful.

He'll know what to do.

Hi, Squidward.

What is it now, Sponge...

[screams] Ghost!

I'm sorry I was so mean to you

while you were alive!

Please don't haunt me!

Oh, I'm not a ghost Squidward.

[laughs]

I used Patrick's tanning booth

and I stayed under too long.

[laughs]

Oh, this is too precious!

You're sun-bleached!

[laughs]

Looks like

you won't be at the party!

[laughs]

Sun-bleached! [laughs]

[sighs] Now I'll never

get into that party.

Hey!

That's quitter talk, mister!

You're going to that party

tonight!

What you need is a makeover!

[whistles]

Hmm. Hmm.

Little kelp jerky?

Open wide.

[groans]

[wails]

What do you think?

[screams] I look... amazing!

Time to go to the party.

Aww, what cute little baby.

Coochie, coochie.

Monster! [screams]

[grunts, pants]

Hey, buddy. You look like

you could use an ice cream.

[slurps]

Oh, yeah, that hit the spot.

One caramel sundae, please

Oh, I think you'll have to go to

the party without me, Patrick.

There's just no way I can get

that golden brown in time.

But that's no reason

you shouldn't go... Oh!

-Patrick, why did you...

-Can't talk. Working.

No, really, Patrick...

-Ugh. I feel sticky.

-Take a look.

Whoo!

Thanks, Patrick!

Uh, I'm stuck.

[excited chatter]

[ding]

Nice job, ma'am! Join the party!

[clears throat] But the baby's

gonna have to wait outside!

But he's a perfect shade

of Tropical Toddler!

Yes, but...

[gasp] Tyler! How could you?!

Don't worry, ma'am! He can wait

out here with the other rejects.

Oh, no tears, son!

We'll get in next year!

Next!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Looks like you two

took my advice!

Nice job, gentlemen! Come on in!

[dance music, cheering]

All right, party people, it's

time to roll out the portables.

Oh, no! Caramel hardening.

Gotta get out of here.

[ding]

-Patrick? Patrick?

-What?

-Can I get a little help here?

-Sure thing, pal!

Hey, everybody, make some room!

The floor's all yours!

[whispers] Knock 'em dead, kid.

No, Patrick!

[chuckles nervously]

[cracking]

[all gasp]

So bright!

Honey! Look away!

[groans]

[chuckles nervously]

Nice job!

Your hideous skin

ruined the party!

I mean, look at you! Do you hug

your mother with that skin?

[angry shouting]

Can you believe this guy

crashed your party?

Craig?!

I have seen this

only one other time.

It's the ultimate tan.

He's... sun bleached!

[all gasp]

[gasps] Sun bleached?!

This young man...

[clears throat] This young hero

should be praised for

his dedication to tan-liness.

[applause, cheering]

If you guys are feeling it,

we should all follow

in his footsteps.

[cheering]

Frankie! Crank it up!

[dance music]

[sizzling]

Patrick, do you think maybe

too much sun is a bad thing?

Whatever.

I just go with the flow.