-Are you ready, kids?
-[kids] Aye, aye, Captain.
-I can't hear you.
-[kids] Aye, aye, Captain!
Oh...
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
Under the sea? ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow
And porous is he ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ If nautical nonsense
Be something you wish ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ Then drop on the deck
And flop like a fish ♪
-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
-Ready?
[all] ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
[Captain laughs heartily]
[pipes a jaunty tune]
[clears throat]
[loudly clears throat]
May I help you?
Well, it's almost quittin' time,
Squidward.
Got any big plans
for after work?
Nope.
[groans]
Hey, Squidward.
Pretty incredible shift, huh?
If you say so.
-Any plans after work?
-No.
Yeah, me, neither.
Just gonna be hanging
at Casa de Esponga.
Feel free to drop by
if you're in the neighborhood.
[giggles]
Hey, Squidward, wait up.
Squidward, I realize
that I didn't really
extend a proper invitation
back there.
So, what do you say, Squidward?
How about you come over
to my house for a visit tonight?
Squidward? Squidward?
Squidward? Squidward?
SpongeBob, thank you so much
for that lovely invitation,
but I must respectfully
tell you I will never visit you.
-Ever!
-[crash]
[sighs] Take heart, Squidward.
It'll all be over soon.
Oh, please come over
for a visit, Squidward!
It's been so long!
I can't even remember
your last visit!
That's probably because
I've never visited you.
Please? Please? Please?
Please? Please?
[door opens, shuts]
Please? Please?
Please? Please-please? Please?
Please-please? Please?
Please?! Please?!
OK, Squidward,
maybe some other time.
[sighs]
Hey-ho, Squidward.
You got any...?
Before you ask me that question,
ask yourself this.
Why would I leave
the comfort of my home
for your dirty little hovel?
What if I got a couple
of throw pillows?
Patrick, has Squidward
ever visited you at home?
Only once, to take back
some stuff I borrowed.
He said he wouldn't leave
the comfort of his own home
for my dirty little hovel.
Borrow something,
then he'll have to come over
to get it back. [grunts]
Well, hey, thanks for letting me
play puzzle with you.
-See you later.
-That's it!
A stick of butter,
and just a touch of pepper.
-[pneumatic drilling]
-[gasps]
Not on the rug! [groans]
SpongeBob,
will you keep it down?
I am trying to cook!
Oh, hey, Squidward. Just doing
a little home improvement.
Well, you made me spill pepper
all over my imported rug!
[chuckles] OK, Squidward.
[sighs] SpongeBob!
I need the right tool
for the job. Huh?
Dear Squidward, thanks for
lending me your vacuum cleaner.
Sincerely,
SpongeBob SquarePants.
Oh, P.S... [laughs]
[laughter repeats]
[phone rings]
SquarePants residence.
Why do you have
my vacuum cleaner?
Squidward!
It's been quite a while
since I last got a call from
my favorite next-door neighbor.
That's because
I've never called you!
Now, why have you stolen
my vacuum cleaner?
I didn't steal it, silly.
I borrowed it.
Are you done cleaning up
that dingy hole you call home?
You won't even recognize
the place, Squidward.
Ah, probably not.
[breathing heavily]
I'll be over to get my vacuum
in minutes.
Oh! Squidward is finally
coming for a visit!
[muttering]
Squidward!
I've been expecting you.
Welcome to my humble abode.
I hope that
you will find comfort,
and please don't hesitate to ask
if there's anything I can...
Yeah, uh-huh, I just want
my vacuum back. [gasps]
You've made an exact replica
of my living room!
Well, you said you wouldn't
leave the comfort of your home,
so I brought the comfort here.
Isn't it great?
-[laughs]
-No, it isn't!
You can't just steal
my decorating style, and...
[groans]
Never mind.
Just give me my vacuum.
Would you care for a cool
and refreshing iced tea?
-No.
-Hot hors d'oeuvres?
-No.
-Nachos? Blancmange?
I don't even know what that is!
Please just give me my vacuum
so I can get back home.
-I have a casserole in the oven.
-Yes, of course.
Please have a seat
while I go grab your vacuum.
Please make yourself at home.
[mutters angrily]
Enjoying your visit
so far, Squidward?
This is not a visit.
You are going to get my vacuum.
And stop fluffing this pillow!
OK, Squidward,
just yell if you need anything.
Imbecile. [gasps]
How did he do it?
He got my coffee table,
my vase, snack bowl, coasters,
and my Art of the Clarinet
coffee table book.
And this pillow looks just like
the one Mommy made for me.
He even copied her
stitch signature.
"For Squiddy. With love, Mama."
[screams]
You yelled?
Never mind.
I'll find the vacuum myself!
OK. Make yourself at home.
Squidward sure seems to be
enjoying his visit.
My hallway.
Dear Neptune...
he even got the chip in
the paint from when I moved in.
OK, Squiddy,
don't get creeped out.
Just get the vacuum and go home.
All right, isn't this neat?
My bathroom.
[flushes]
I have to give him credit,
though. Every detail is correct.
How does he know the exact
contents of my medicine cabinet?
My rash cream?!
That little sneak!
-Did someone say "rash cream"?
-[screams]
SpongeBob, you idiot!
-Squidward, rash cream.
-Ow! Ow! Ow!
-[clattering]
-Oops.
-[screams]
-[clattering]
-Oh, no!
-[yells]
[screams, toilet flushes]
I don't think I have
a cream for that.
[gasps]
[sighs]
Oh, what a horrible nightmare.
So, are you enjoying
your stay at Chez Spongé?
[Squidward screams]
[teeth chatter]
Will you excuse me for a moment?
I need to use
the bathroom again.
[clicks tongue]
[SpongeBob]
Hurry back, Squidward.
I gotta find that vacuum
and get out of here.
[gasps]
He copied all
of my self portraits.
And they're better than mine.
[sobs]
He even got the rug right.
Get ahold of yourself,
Squiddy, ol' bean.
This doesn't mean anything.
This, this, all of this
is just, just... mimicry.
He doesn't possess your style
or your decorating acumen,
or your love
of the finer things.
In fact, the only thing
he has is, is, is...
My vacuum cleaner!
And I'll remedy that...
posthaste.
[gasps] Aha, he put you in here,
along with all his bad taste.
You're coming home.
[grunts] Home with me... me!
[screams]
[air hisses]
SpongeBob!
[grunts]
[vacuum whirrs]
Is it really you?
-[air hisses]
-It is you!
[smooches]
Come on, baby, you and I will
walk out of this horror show
the way we walked into it,
with dignity and aplomb.
[siren wails]
-My house...
-You just missed the fire.
What happened to my house?!
Oh, some knucklehead
left a casserole in the oven.
SpongeBob!
Aw, don't worry, Squidward.
You're more than welcome
to stay at my house
until you get your house fixed.
[ominous music]
Why yes, I'd love another spot
of tea, Mr. Vacuum Cleaner.
Care for some casserole?
[crazed laughter]
Squidward? You OK?
Squidward?
Squidward!
[sighs] Replica, sweet replica.
[yawns] It sure was great
having Squidward over
for a visit, eh, Gary?
[snores]
[meows]
[narrator] Ah, another quiet day
in Bikini Bottom.
But it wasn't always this way.
Once, it was horrible!
[thunder cracks]
[wind howling]
The unimaginable happened.
One day,
SpongeBob SquarePants...
changed his pants!
[screams]
[bell dings]
[hums]
I remember as if
it were yesterday.
But in fact,
it happened three days ago.
[grunts]
It's laundry day, Gary!
Oops.
[meows]
Now, to finish the day's chores.
[whistles tune]
[phone rings]
Hello.
Hello. Uh, may I speak
with SpongeBob...
Uh, uh...
Squa... oh... are...
Pants?
Mm, speaking.
Hey, hey. You want to hear
how long I can do this for?
[warbles]
Actually, Patrick,
I'm kind of busy. Can it wait?
[warbling stops] No.
[warbling continues]
[sighs]
[warbling continues]
Gary, go check on
the laundry in the dryer.
[complaining meow]
[warbling continues]
[warbling continues]
A pretty long time, huh?
Yeah, Patrick.
Gary?
-[sizzling]
-[gasps]
They've shrunk!
I'm gonna need to get new pants.
I'm sorry, Mr. SpongeBob,
but we're not expecting
another shipment of
square pants for months.
Oh...
No. Nope.
Ew, not these.
Uh-uh.
[gasps]
Whoa.
These pants hug my body
better than my own mother!
Hey, Patrick!
Notice anything different?
Pose, pose, pose, pose.
Do I know you?
[laughs] It's me, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob?
No, you're not!
SpongeBob has square pants.
Now, leave me alone,
you mysterious stranger.
Patrick is so full of
tartar sauce. I'm still me.
It's just a pair of pants.
It's not like my friends
won't recognize me.
[Sandy] Well, howdy, stranger.
I don't recognize you
in those newfangled dungarees.
[wolf whistles]
You must be
SpongeBob FancyPants.
Clothes really do make the man.
Sandy didn't recognize me,
either.
These pants are more powerful
than I thought.
Course, it was just Sandy.
And Neptune knows what goes on
inside a squirrel's head.
[chittering]
[shudders]
But I know my best buddy
Squidward will recognize me.
We have been through
so much together.
[sings happy tune]
Oh, no.
It's that little yellow freak.
[SpongeBob] Hi, Squidward!
Just ignore him.
Maybe he'll go away.
[sing-song] Oh, Squidward!
Guess who?
Do I know you?
Oh, sure you do. It's me.
SpongeBob? SquarePants?
Never seen you before
in my life.
Ooh.
Well, maybe these pictures of us
together will jog your memory.
Me and you at my birthday party.
You and me at work.
That little slumber party
we had last week.
I forgot when this was taken.
-Is that supposed to be you?
-[sighs]
I can't believe it.
He actually left.
[laughs]
Squidward didn't know me either.
It's like we'd never met.
Maybe Patrick is right.
-[rattles handle]
-Oh, no, it's locked.
Gary! Hey, Gary!
Can you open the door?
I left my keys
in my other pants!
[Patrick] Hello. Can I help you?
Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.
Oh, right.
You're that RoundPants fellow.
-What are you doing in my house?
-Your house?
This house belongs to
SpongeBob SquarePants.
At least, it did,
before he left us.
I wish I could see him
one last time.
Oh, barnacles!
I guess I'm not
SpongeBob SquarePants any more.
I'll have to start
all over again.
Hello, sir.
I'd like an application, please.
My name is SpongeBob Sq...
[grunts]
[coughs, splutters]
Sorry, I'm a little...
[coughs] I'm a little...
[coughs]
Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
My name is SpongeBob...
RoundPants.
And I would like
to seek employment
from this eating establishment.
-[thud]
-[bell rings]
-[thud]
-[groans]
Oh, dear!
Are you OK, Mr. Cashier?
Oh! Here are the applications.
Let's see here.
"Name." SpongeBob RoundPants.
Well, this is going well.
Hey, Mr. Cashier,
looks like we're gonna be...
Coworkers!
[groans]
Question two. "Have you ever
been convicted of a felony?"
Hmm, what's a felony?
Being too darn happy
all the time.
Oh, yeah!
Lots and lots of felonies.
[chuckles] Moron.
What's going on here?!
I'm filling out an application.
Get to work!
[gasps] Then I got the job?!
Oh, boy.
My first day on the job.
I am so excited.
-Woo-hoo!
-Whatever.
You've worked here a long time.
Why don't you show
this rookie the ropes?
Oh, I'd love to.
Yay!
But... No! [grunts]
So, what do I do first?
[groans] Fine.
Take a Krabby Patty,
and put it on the grill.
Shouldn't you watch it?
Why? I don't think
it's going anywhere.
Ooh, very Zen.
What next,
O oracle of Krabby wisdom?
I'm going to the bathroom.
Hmm, I'll go, too!
How's it going in there, boss?
Um... fine.
"Going fine."
[snores]
-Oh, Mr. Squidward?
-[screams]
Whatcha reading?
Bathroom break. Check.
Here's the slop you ordered.
Enjoy.
If you can choke it down.
[laughs]
"Be rude to customers
and insult food."
"Nasally laugh."
-Can I get a Krabby Patty Combo?
-No.
-A Double Krabby Patty?
-No.
Can I get a Triple Patty
with cheese?
Oh, I think you've had
way too many of those.
[both laugh]
Taught him everything he knows.
[snores]
[angry muttering]
[laughter]
[angry shouting]
What are you two doing?!
Get to work!
I'm used to Squidward
sleeping on the job,
but I expect more from you,
Mr. SquarePants.
I am not SpongeBob SquarePants,
Mr. Krabs.
What in the name of Davy Jones
are you talking about?
I mean, do these pants look
square to you? They're round.
Yeah, so?
I can't be SpongeBob SquarePants
with round pants.
-Who told you that?
-Patrick.
Well, why don't you
just take them off?
Order up, Squidward!
Well, well, if it isn't
SpongeBob UnderPants.
[chuckles]
[screams]
06x16 - Squid's Visit/To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.