06x22 - Chum Bucket Supreme/Single Cell Anniversary

[bunniefuu]

Are you ready, kids?

[all] Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

[all] Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

Under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow

And porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense

Be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck

And flop like a fish ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

-Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob ♪

♪ SquarePants ♪

[Captain chuckles]

[pipe music]

OK, Karen, which one's better?

If I had eyes,

I'd be rolling them right now.

Thanks for the help.

You know, details like this

can be very important

to the customers.

Customers? What customers?

Well, uh...

Like those customers

who just pulled up.

Hello, gentlemen,

and welcome to the Chum Bucket.

Would you like seating

inside or outside?

-Seating for what?

-For the Chum Bucket!

Where you can enjoy

a nice helping of chum.

Oh, boy, this is so...

num, num, mm-hmm.

Mmm, good, the chum is.

Wait a minute.

Eating chum? Do people do that?

Look, are you gonna eat or not?

Yeah, I'm gonna have

two Krabby Patties.

Oh, yeah, two.

We couldn't find parking

over there at the Krusty Krab.

[water hisses]

[slurps]

Ah!

Now, what was I saying?

Oh, right...

[growls, grunts]

I'm tired of the Krusty Krab

taking all of my business.

We're doomed, Karen.

Doomed, I tell you.

[sobbing]

Well, why don't you do what

all good business owners do?

What would that be?

Advertise your product,

of course.

Advertising?

I can't believe it took me

this long to come up with this.

[sighs]

Let's see... Q, no.

P, no. Ah, here it is, L.

There, it's perfect.

"Chum is metabolic fuel!"

You really did it this time,

old Planky.

Oh, yeah. Who's a genius?

♪ Have you seen this

Seen this, seen this ♪

♪ Seen my genius

Genius, genius ♪

Chum is... [slurps]

Meh.

Hello, sir,

and welcome to the Chum Bucket.

Uh, sir?

Met-ah-uh... ta-tub-uh...

bol-ick!

Forget about

what that word means!

There's a fire breaking out

in the language lobes.

We need to get out of here!

-The door is jammed!

-Push harder!

[all coughing]

-Mm-meta-bu. Bu-bu-boo.

-Uh, sir?

Your head, it's on fire.

The drink! Use the drink!

It's kelp juice. you want some?

Hey!

What kind of friend are you?

Friend? I don't even know you.

Go ahead. Say you're sorry.

Uh, I'm sorry.

OK, I forgive you,

and I'm sorry for yelling.

OK, so can I tell you

something honestly?

-Whatever.

-It's about your sign.

These words make my head sad.

I don't get it.

It's OK, little fella.

I don't either.

OK, freak show. You just wait.

In a few minutes,

this sign will have attracted

more customers

than you can count.

Uh, what's that number

before one?

-Zero.

-Oh, right, congratulations!

You have zero customers.

OK, so maybe it'll take

a little longer

than a few minutes.

Wait. What are we doing again?

[groans]

There we go.

"Chum is fum!"

What the...

This says, "Chum is fum."

You changed my sign

to "Chum is fum"?

That's the dumbest thing

I've ever heard.

They seem to think

it's interesting.

[all murmuring excitedly]

Apparently, dumb sells chum.

And I believe I just found

our advertising director.

[shrieks] Only two customers?

Customers are looking

kind of scarce.

Must be low tide or something,

eh, Squidward?

They've all gone

to the Chum Bucket.

The Chum Bucket?

"Chum is fum?"

SpongeBob!

-Yes, sir.

-[yells]

SpongeBob, we have a situation.

I'm on it.

[siren blares]

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

SpongeBob, I'm afraid our

worst fears have been realized.

[gasps] Goofy goober

is going non-dairy?

-No.

-Oh-hoo, slide show.

A few hours ago,

The Chum Bucket was,

as it should be,

a desolate no-man's-land.

There's only one way he could

have turned things around

so quickly.

Plankton must have slipped

into the Krusty Krab

while you weren't looking.

[SpongeBob] Hey, that's my legs!

[Krabs] He stole the formula!

[SpongeBob screams]

[Krabs] I thought

you'd say that.

So we need to infiltrate

the Chum Bucket

and steal the formula back.

Ah!

SpongeBob,

how you holding up, boy?

Not so good, Mr. Krabs.

Hold on now. We're almost there.

-Next!

-We made it, SpongeBob.

-We're in!

-Whoopee.

-All I know is, chum is fum.

-You said it. Chum is fum.

Keep an eye peeled

for anything suspicierous.

Like that door?

-Mm, bingo!

-Whoa.

Come on. Giddy up, boy.

-We're almost there.

-Excuse me.

Would you like a free sample?

No, uh... [coughs]

[high-pitched voice]

I'm full, thanks.

No?

How about your little friend?

Hi, SpongeBob.

Hi. I don't want

a free sample ei...

Sure you do.

Look out! She's gonna blow!

[spluttering]

Well, Plankton obviously

didn't steal me formula.

So how did he steal

all me customers?

This chum tastes awful.

Yeah, but the slogan

is so catchy

that we can't stop eating it.

[together] Chum is fum!

[gagging and retching]

[laughs]

Chum is fum!

Come on, SpongeBob.

I'm gonna see how

our advertising guru is doing.

What brilliant slogans have you

come up with this week, Patrick?

-[snores] Mm, huh?

-Gah!

You're supposed to be coming up

with witty catchphrases

to keep that rabble

out there happy.

"Chum is fum."

We've kind of got that one

already.

Oh, I like that one!

[groans] Oh, well.

If it ain't broke,

don't fix it.

Keep up the good work. I guess.

You got it, boss!

Hey, everyone. Chum is fum!

[cheering]

-Hey, Karen, check this out.

-What now?

You see,

every time I make a sale,

the sound goes there. Watch.

[shrill ding]

[sobs]

How is that gonna help

to boost sales?

Karen, babe, you don't need help

when you got a catchy slogan

like mine.

Don't look now,

but I think your catchy

slogan's days are numbered.

[gags]

Oh, something's not right.

Yeah, I know. I keep saying

chum is fum, but it's...

-It's just not working.

-I'm out of here.

Hmm.

[snores]

-Patrick!

-Huh? What?

We're having a board meeting

here.

We need ideas.

Hmm.

Hmm. Uh-huh.

I think I see the problem.

Your potty

has a shocky thing in it.

No, that's not it, you fool!

We need a new slogan.

You need to come up with

another genius catchphrase

like chum is fum! But different.

Oh, got ya.

Hmm.

I'm so happy that they

changed that old, tired slogan,

Chum is fum.

Yeah, that new slogan,

"Fum is chum," is way cooler.

Way cooler.

[both slurping]

[both gagging and retching]

Here's your

Chum Bucket Supreme. Enjoy!

Patrick, my boy, you really

earned that promotion.

Thanks, boss.

Nothing can stop me now!

[upbeat music]

[ding]

[wails]

[tires screech]

[exuberant chatter]

You fellas look hungry.

Here you go.

[whistle blows]

Excuse me, sir.

My resignation.

But you're my whole

marketing department.

I know, but I'm burned out.

See?

Anyway, you can send my check

to my home.

Check?

You want money

for those stupid catchphrases?

Anybody can sell

to my idiot customers.

They're buffoons!

Morons!

They'll buy anything

I sell them.

They're the dumbest

of the dumb.

The stupidest of the stupid.

They're dummies, dweebs,

and doo-doo dunderheads.

I can keep that rabble

right where I want them.

Huh?

What was that part

about doo-doo dunderheads, eh?

Uh-oh.

[screams]

[yelling and crashing]

Where do you think you're going,

little man?

Is it too late for sorry?

-Oh!

-[guffaws]

Hey, check out that new sign

at the Krusty Krab.

Who's hungry, eh?

[all yelling excitedly]

Well, Mr. K,

we're back in business.

Yep.

Keep up the good work, boyo!

You got it, boss.

[sighs]

[Karen] Plankton, is that you?

Welcome home, honey.

[mutters]

How was your day?

-[coughs]

-[alarms blare]

Dear Neptune, Plankton!

What is that smell?

The aroma you speak of,

Karen, my computer wife,

is the stench of failure.

And now the smell of defeat

so deeply penetrates my soul

that my very skin is permeated

with its foul stench.

[sighs]

Thanks for asking.

Well, it smells horrible.

You're not coming in here

smelling like that.

Hey, what are you...

[shrieks]

Stop that at once!

You...

[gasps] I command you to...

Oh, no!

[yells]

There you go.

Now, don't you feel better?

Although I do look ravishing,

it's not enough to mask

the ugliness I feel inside.

Did I miss a spot?

[growls]

Don't blow a gasket, dear.

Today's a special day.

Special day?

Yes, we're celebrating your

biggest accomplishment ever.

Really? I accomplished

something? What is it?

It has something to do with you

asking a certain someone

to spend the rest of her life

with you.

What?

We each wear rings

in memory of this moment.

Enough with the riddles, woman.

Just tell me what this

proud moment in my life is.

Oh, you selfish green twit.

-It's our wedding anniversary.

-Oh, that.

Yippee.

[cries] You forgot!

And I got you the perfect gift.

The Krabby Patty formula?

Mwah! Mwah!

How did you get it?

First

I went to the Krusty Krab...

One Krabby Patty, please.

-Thank you.

-Whatever.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

What? Sorry, I wasn't listening.

Well, you can tell me later.

You're not getting this

until you get me a gift.

-[groans]

-From your heart.

[sighs]

And that's the story

of how I got my head

stuck in the fry vat.

That story gets better every

time you tell it, Sponge...

Hold on! Did you hear that?

It sounds like...

[moaning]

...despair.

That was probably me.

No, no, not bitterness. Despair.

And it's coming from over...

This way.

Plankton.

What's wrong, Plankton?

What? SpongeBob?

Uh, there's nothing wrong.

Don't worry.

I'm fine.

Come on,

tell your uncle SpongeBob.

Oh, it's nothing.

It's just that today

is my wedding anniversary.

Aw, what present

did you buy your wife, huh?

What did you buy her?

Um, I didn't buy Karen anything.

[gasps]

We've got a love emergency.

Attention, everyone.

We have a love emergency.

Please stand back.

Love emergency.

Thank you. Love emergency.

Plankton,

there's only one thing to do.

You need to give her a present

from in here.

-What, like a kidney?

-No, from the heart.

That's where your love grows.

-My what? Your love.

-My loove?

-Love.

-Loop?

-Luh-vuh.

-Lump.

Say it with me: Uhl.

Uhl.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Vhh.

[splutters]

Uh-Luh-Vuh.

[strained] Love?

That's it!

You've taken the first step

into the halls of amour.

Now, tell me more

about your Karen.

So, what's your favorite thing

for you and Karen

to do together?

Well, we like to take

long walks on the beach,

and we talk about our dreams...

Uh, our dreams of conquering

all of Bikini Bottom

to become supreme overlords

of all creation

and to trample our enemies

beneath our feet.

[laughs] Yeah!

Trampling enemies...

Now, tell me about Karen.

Well, she's a mark II surplus

UNIVAC with gigs of RAM,

and there's the cutest mole

on her CPU,

and the way she processes data,

oh, ooh, mama.

Does she have any hobbies?

Uh, well, uh...

She does make

a lot of beeping sounds.

Interesting.

Does she ever go "ding"?

Now that you mention it,

she does go "ding,"

at least once a day.

Oh, a music lover.

I think we have our solution.

You need to serenade her.

Who, me? I can't sing.

Not to worry. When you're done,

you'll be as...

♪ Golden-voiced as me ♪

Repeat after me.

♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪

[clears throat]

♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me... ♪

[clears throat]

♪ Me, me, me, me, me ♪

♪ Me, me ♪

[prolonged screechy singing]

[glass shatters]

[glass shatters]

Whoo.

Oh, you are ready.

Ready? But what do I sing?

Oh, when the time comes,

you'll know.

The music of love

comes from inside.

Why are you so obsessed

with my internal organs?

-This is it, Plankton.

-I don't think I'm ready.

Oh, you've just got butterflies

in your tummy.

No, I'm just nervous.

I don't know what flying

insects have to do with it.

[laughs] Get in there and sing,

you single-celled Romeo, you.

Ah, love-vuh.

[clears throat]

-Karen?

-Plankton.

I don't see any present.

Oh, I have it.

It's right here in my kidney.

I mean heart!

[clears throat]

♪ Me, me, me, me ♪

♪ Me, me ♪

♪ Oh, my Karen, oh, my Karen ♪

♪ Oh, my computer wife, Karen ♪

♪ Put down those punch cards ♪

♪ Put down those punch cards ♪

♪ And listen to my ode ♪

♪ Oh, my Karen, oh, my Karen ♪

♪ Oh, my computer wife, Karen ♪

♪ What compares to ♪

♪ What compares to ♪

Uh...

Aha!

♪ Your beautiful diodes ♪

♪ Oh, my Karen, oh, my Karen ♪

♪ Oh, my computer wife, Karen ♪

♪ I was blinded ♪

♪ Yes, I was blinded ♪

♪ I was blinded by the light

Of your cathode ray ♪

♪ Oh, I built you ♪

♪ Yes, I built you ♪

♪ I built you in the... ♪

Uh... Um, hmm.

♪ In the shape of a cube ♪

♪ Oh, my Karen, oh, my Karen ♪

♪ You'll never know how much

♪ I love your vacuum tubes ♪

[sniffling]

That was so beautiful.

You really liked it?

I loved it! But not as much

as I love you, Plankton.

I luh... uh... love you too.

[all] Aw.

So, can I have my present now?

Of course, my little overlord.

Now loading

the Krabby Patty formula.

They're such a lovely couple.

[gasps]

The Krabby Patty formula?!

Yes, you porous kitchen utensil!

By helping me woo

my computer wife,

you've just doomed

the Krusty Krab!

[laughs]

Oh, no!

I've got to stop it

before it's too late.

% loaded.

Control, alt, delete.

% loaded.

How do you turn this thing off?

Get your hands off my wife!

% loaded.

-[gasps] The plug.

-[gasps]

Aha! You lose, Plankton.

Oh, no!

You unplugged the coffee maker,

SpongeBob.

[gulps] I am so fired.

Loading Krabby Patty formula.

Here it comes!

Oh, Plankton,

you've made me so happy.

That's fantastic.

Where's that formula?

I'm crying. What's going on?

Karen, what's wrong?

Have you sprung a leak?

No, I'm just so happy.

I... I'm crying

with tears of joy.

But you're shorting out.

[electrical fizzing and popping]

I'm just...

Krabby Patty

formula loading completed.

Yes!

No!

[boom]

No!

Yes! I'm saved!

Your wife exploded!

Um, happy anniversary, you guys.

Rebooting.

Loading EMILP.

EMILP? What's EMILP?

Emergency

mother-in-law program.

Oh, no.

Plankton, what have you done

to my daughter?

You made her cry. She could

have been with an ATM,

someone with money, but she

chose you. I don't know why.