09x01 - Extreme Spots/Squirrel Record

[bunniefuu]

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

- SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob ♪

♪ SquarePants! ♪

A little more sand.

Pat.

Pat.

Pat.

Pat, Pat, Patrick!

Check it out.

An exact replica of the Krusty Krab.

One sandy patty, extra grit!

A bit dry and flavorless.

I'll take two dozen!

Hey everyone!

The Drastic Radicals are...

...tearing it up on Sand Mountain!

Let's check it out!

Um, could you give me a hand?

Sure thing, buddy.

I can't see anything.

Allow me.

Yeahhh!

Look out!

Someone help that little old lady!

Help yourselves, himrods!

Johnny Krill!

Not Dead Ted!

Grand Moul Granny!

Drastic...

Radicals!

The Drasticals!

Did you see that?!

What was that?!

Why, those are the Dwastic Wadicals...

...the number one practitioners of extweme spowts.

Extreme what?

Extweme...

...spowts.

Extreme spots?

That's no fair!

You're already covers in extreme spots.

Ooh. Hold on a second.

Okay, let's go meet our new heroes.

We want to join your extreme spots team...

...as you can see, we're also covered...

...head to toe in the most extreme of spots.

Itchy spots.

Oh, no, stop!

Stop!

Extreme spots.

It's extreme sports, not spots.

So you wanna be a Drastical.

Let's see what you got, little dude.

No problemo.

I guess you just hop up like this...

Hey! Come back!

You're turn, fat boy!

Hey! How'd we get up here?

Our sports are too extreme for you dudes.

Maybe we should start you two on something easier.

What games do you dudes like to play?

Ooh, I know.

How about a little something called Jump rope?

Jumprope, eh?

Demonstrate.

Ready Patrick?

On your mark.

Get set.

Jump rope!

Extreme!

Hey, who's holding the other end?

I am of course.

- Hi Patrick!
- D'uh.

- ♪ My best friend is SpongeBob ♪
- Sing it!

- ♪ He has a square head ♪
- Yeah!

♪ I try on his clothes...

...while he's asleep in bed ♪
- Whoa! What?

That's weird.

My face is leaking.

You're face isn't leaking.

You're just sweating from all the exercise.

Exercise?!

Eww, I didn't sign up for this!

Extreme!

Dude, that was not extreme!

Now, let the Drasticals show you how it's done.

Grab it Granny!

Drasticals! Wow!

Kick it up a notch!

Yeahhh!

Yeah! See?

Extreme sports should be expl*sive! Boom!

expl*sive, huh?

I know just the thing!

Impressed?

No.

Look dudes, to be extreme you gotta go bigger.

Show 'em Drasticals!

Watch this!

Holy Joe!

Extreme.

Now that's how you do extreme! You understand?

I think I do. Is fighting extreme?

Fighting is totally extreme.

I want a clean fight.

I don't wanna see any trash laying around.

We give up!

Fling!

That was close.

Not so fast.

That's not fighting.

Stand aside.

I'll show you how it's done.

Noo! It's dry-clean only!

Avenge me.

Brutal.

Charlie!

Even more brutal!

Now that was extreme, dudes.

- You think you're starting to get it?
- Oh, yeah!

So what else you got?

There is one sport that Patrick's an expert at.

Dumpster diving!

That's not extreme.

How revolting.

Okay, that's kinda extreme.

Not bad.

But the Drasticals will show you how it's done.

Okay artificial hip, don't fail me now.

Extreme!

That is one tough elderly person.

Dude, that was awesome!

What other crazy sports do you dudes play?

Well, there is a very extremely...

...extreme sport we play if you're up to it.

Hey, where are the Drasticals?

Here they come!

- Wow!
- Amazing!

Jellyfishing, yeah...

Dudes, now we get it!

These spots are way extreme!

And itchy!

As you can see...

...extweme spowts are the direct...

...bi-product of the most extweme spowts.

Who is that guy?

It's quitting time, SpongeBob.

Go home.

Quitting time!

Go... home!

Oh my. It's time to go home.

Squidward, what are you still doing here?

What am I gonna do with you?

I can't throw you away.

Bleh!

But I do have to throw away the trash.

What's this?

Someone threw away a book.

You shouldn't throw away books.

Sandy, you're a trash monster?

Heck no.

I was breaking a record for rooting around in a trash bin.

It's all right here in...

...The Guinness O' Ripley Enormous Book...

...Of Curiosities, Oddities, and World Records.

Look-e here, SpongeBob.

Staring Record. days.

Most fries up nose.

Holding your breath.

- Wow!
- Yes siree!

I swear by the power of Texas...

...I'm gonna break all the records...

...in this here book!

- What's the next challenge?
- Let me see. Ooh.

World's longest tongue.

That's easy.

, ...

Hold tight, Sandy.

... , , !

- That's it, Sandy! You did it!
- Yeehaw!

Let's see... Yikes!

Sweet mother of Pearl!

Is it dangerous?

Yeah, you could say that.

You have to eat as much chum as you can.

Chum, huh? That's not too bad.

- Raw.
- Raw?!

- You want what?
- One order of chum, please.

Raw.

Look, I know I'm an evil heartless mastermind...

...but no one can ingest raw chum and survive!

Oh yeah?

Well, Charlie Mackeral, the current record holder did.

Really?

For seconds.

Well, it's your funeral.

OK, Sandy, eat up.

Uh, SpongeBob, I changed my mummh...

Must make world record!

Sandy, you did it! You survived!

Uh, hold on, Sandy!

I know just what you need!

A Krabby Patty!

I did it!

I'm alive!

I can't wait to show them experts...

...the pictures of my record breaking feats.

Oh no! I forgot my camera!

What?! SpongeBob!

I need photographic proof of my amazing deeds!

- I'll go get the camera.
- Well, hurry up!

I got record breaking to do!

Oh my.

- Got your camera?
- You bet ya!

Great! Take a picture of me chucking this...

...last woodchuck to break the...

...woodchuck chuckin' world record.

Ready Cousin Earl?

Let er rip darlin'!

woodchucks chucked. Record broken!

Thanks for all your help, cousins!

See you all next Christmas! Bye!

Wow, Sandy! What is all this?

I've decided to go about this scientifically.

I feel with careful planning an precise delication of appropriate tasks...

...I can manage the successful completion of...

...the maximum number of records broken...

...in the least amount of time!

Book!

- Picture!
- Here you go.

Thank you.

So, what's next?

Oh yeah, longest tooth.

So hows the calcium fusion going?

It is ready, Ms. Cheeks.

Outstanding!

Here, hold this.

How'd i do?

Please hold this end.

feet. Record broken!

Ouch!

Take a picture.

- Say "cheese"!
- Cheese!

- Picture!
- Here you go.

Thank you.

Next, spiciest chili gargle.

Got it!

You OK?

Do you smell soup?

What's next?

Largest rubber band ball.

Woohoo! What's next?

Most cobras milked.

Say "cheese"!

Cheese!

Nice snakes.

Next!

Most walnuts in mouth.

Just! One! More! Oh, no!

Next!

Most chainsaws juggled.

- OK, sh**t!
- Got it!

So, uh, how do you stop?

- What?
- I said "How do you stop?"

- What?
- How do you stop?

Whoa, that's easy.

I just stop...

...then run like heck!

Not that way!

Come on, SpongeBob! Pull yourself together!

We still got a ton of records to break!

Oh yeah! You're gonna love this one!

I don't know, Sandy.

It is getting kinda dangerous.

Come on, you don't need your helmet.

This one's outside!

Follow me.

- Oh my.
- There it is.

The world's largest house of cards!

That's amazing!

- Get in front so I can take a picture.
- Nah.

Let's get a sh*t from the top!

What the...?

Oh, hey.

It's Solitaire!

I love this game!

I take a touchdown!

What's next?

Um, I think I smell Gary's sandbox...

...better go clean it.

Now!

I think you broke a record today, Gary.

World's Stinkiest Litter box! Eww!

I'm worried about Sandy.

She's got record-breaking fever!

- Meow.
- You're right.

She does need my help.

I must stop this madness!

It's all that book's fault!

The book is evil!

The book must be destroyed!

Why don't you take ?

I will hold the book.

Thank Neptune's gears.

My wheels are k*lling me.

Hey! Where do you think you're going?

Get back in line!

I need every available robot for this one.

Most Robots built and destroyed in a day.

, ...

Oh, the artificial humanity.

Oh no you don't! We're all in this together!

. Record broken!

OK. Shut her down!

Oh, my!

What's wrong with you?

My stomach feels funny.

Let's have a look. SpongeBob?!

Oh hey, Sandy.

SpongeBob, what are you doing?

I'm here to save you from... from this book.

I'm going to destroy it before someone gets k*lled!

I don't wanna lose you, Sandy!

I don't wanna lose you!

Oh, don't be silly, SpongeBob.

I'm done with that book!

I've b*at every record in here.

In fact, I've been finding the author...

...who verified my evidence.

Thank you.

Oh, my. I see.

Well then... I'm afraid you've broken no records.

- Huh?
- This book is years old.

These records were broken ages ago.

You however have sent a brand new record.

Most injuries sustained while helping a friend.

Good for you, SpongeBob.

Um, hurray!

Say "cheese"!