09x09 - Don't Look Now/Séance Shméance

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Hi, Squidward.

Bet you can't guess what movie we're gonna see.

- That's okay! I'll tell you.

It's fisher--

You may speak.

Patrick and I are gonna see fisherman .

- Ha! You two won't sleep a wink tonight

If you see that movie.

- Squidward, you are looking at two very grown-up big boys.

- Yeah. Nothing can scare us.

- Boo.

we'll show Squidward.

We're not afraid of any old movie.

Whoa!

- We're lost. - I wish we had a flashlight.

- Take your seats.

- Seats taken, sir.

Ooh, the movie's starting.

- Shh! - Sorry.

So this isn't too scary.

The fisherman's hook.

Get off the teeter-totter! - You fools.

- The fisherman's got him.

- And he'll fry them into fish sticks.

I can't watch. Is the scary part over?

- Uh, hold on. I'll take a peek.

- Thank you for meeting me, edwina...

At midnight.

- Patrick, it's okay.

- You sure?

it's worse!

They're kissing!

- I love you, suzie.

- It's jennifer.

- I'll never leave you, jennifer.

Good-bye, margaret!

The fisherman!

Hey!

- Uh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

- See if it's safe.

- Aw, the movie's over.

- Aw, dang, we hardly even saw it.

- Well, we'll watch it again.

And this time, all the way through.

Okay, keep your eyes open. - No problem.

- I love eating ice cream.

- Patrick, I'm getting scared. Hold my eyelids open.

- I'm on it.

- Hey, my ice cream!

It was rocky road!

- Must close eyes! Too scary!

- Uh, I can't hold your eyelids. They're too slippery.

- Oh, no, we missed the movie.

- What? Not again!

- It's okay, we'll just see the next one.

- I'm afraid not.

That was the last showing.

- Wow, what time is it?

- It is one minute to midnight.

- One minute to midnight?

- But that's when the fisherman comes out!

- Come on, Patrick, we gotta get home.

Aah! The fisherman!

It's midnight! The fisherman!

- Whew. We made it.

- I guess we showed that old horror movie who's boss.

- Yeah, we looked fear right in the face

And avoided direct eye contact.

- It's like we're heroes.

- Okay, buddy, sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow.

- Wait a second. You mean I gotta walk

All the way home alone?

- No. No, you don't.

I'm gonna walk you to your door.

- Darned old horror movie.

Why couldn't we watch a cartoon instead?

you hear that?

- I think it's coming from over there.

It's the fisherman!

- Oh, it's just slasher mcgee.

Okay, I guess I'll just go home now.

It's right over there.

Just a few steps that-a-way...

In the dark... All alone.

- Oh, okay, come on, now. Don't be all scared.

I'll walk you home.

- Aw, thanks, old pal.

But then who's gonna walk you home?

- Let's just cross that bridge when we burn it.

The fisherman!

- What is wrong with you?

- Oh, hey, Squidward.

- What are you blockheads up to?

Don't you know it's after midnight?

Get down here!

- We can't get home. - We're too scared.

- Oh, thank you, Squidward. You're a true friend.

- Thanks, squidw--

- Yeah, thanks, Squidward.

I don't think we would have ever gotten home without you.

- Hat. - Oh, yeah. Here.

- I told those muttonheads not to see that movie.

- Patrick! Are you okay?

- Yeah! Are you okay?

- I think so! Good night!

- Yeah! Good night!

And just don't think about the fisherman!

- Oh, no, I will not think about the fisherman!

Sleep tight!

- Oh, "the fisherman," "the fisherman."

Blah, blah, blah.

They want a fisherman, eh?

I'll give 'em a fisherman, and how.

No.

No.

Um...

No.

Aha!

It's time for those lame-brains to meet the real fisherman.

This is gonna be good.

Uh, hello? Is someone there?

What's that? Wha--

Something's stuck--

Oh. Oh, wait a second. Oh, yeah, that's the spot.

A little to the left.

Oh, yeah! All right. Right there!

- gotcha!

The fisherman!

- Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Spongebob! Spongebob, wake up! He's here!

- Who's here? Hold on, let me turn on--

Oh, your face!

There.

- Now, who's here?

- Uh, someone's here? - You just said.

- Oh! Yeah. The fisherman's here.

- The fisherman!

The fisherman's here!

Listen to those nudniks.

What a couple of hopeless babies.

I really should stop, but I'm having too much fun.

Ha, it's almost too easy.

Quick! Bar the door!

- There's just no sport in it.

- Is that everything? - What about this?

- Not Gary!

Do you think it'll hold? - I sure hope so!

- Maybe if we don't look at him, he'll go away.

- Hey, yeah, just like the movie.

- I'm the deadly fisherman!

- I guess this is the end, old buddy.

- I don't want to die in my underwear!

- Here...

Die in mine.

- Hey, good idea.

let's trade. Here you go.

- And here you go. Now, where were we?

Oh, yeah.

He's gonna turn us into fish sticks!

- That thing's eating Squidward!

- Not our bestest buddy! We've gotta save him!

Okay, play . I need you to go long.

And...Break!

You're goin' down, fisherman!

- Don't worry, Squidward.

We'll get you out of that old monster.

Let's escape through the window!

- Okay, I think you've got it!

shh, shh, shh.

There, there. No need to thank us.

We were only doing what any good friends would do

For their bestest buddy.

I guess we don't have to worry about that old monster anymore.

- Meow.

- As consort to the spirit world,

I now commence this seance.

Ploobus plorum spaghetti granolum.

I now summon the un-living.

- Why have you disturbed me?

- Because...

You keep forgetting to replace the toilet paper roll.

As roommates, we all have to do our part.

- I know, but it wasn't me this time.

'twas gale who left things...

- Unreplenished.

- Gale? - Sorry.

- how cheesy.

Who could ever be frightened by that?

- Hey. Moistbob drippants, you mind?

- Sorry, Squidward, I've just never seen a seance before.

- Well, try to contain yourself. We have a customer.

- I'll have me a "rusty on rye," please.

- Charming colloquialism,

But let's try something that's actually on the menu.

- Stop givin' me the runaround, city boy!

I want a "rusty on rye," and nothin' less!

- Just leave it to me, oh, rusty one.

Prepare for a--

What the barnacle is a "rusty on rye"?

Let's see, "r," "r..."

"ramblin' ham," "red herring," "rib-tickler,"

"rusty penguin," "salty steamer."

Oh, guess I don't know how to make a "rusty on rye."

But I can certainly learn.

Help me out, sir, could you clue me in

To what was in your beloved "rusty on rye"?

- Huh? Well, let's see... I think it was on rye bread.

It was number nine on the menu.

It came with a side of somethin' or other, um--

- Oh, come on!

Are you gonna order a Patty or what, pops?

- Let's get it movin' here!

- What's the big kerfuffle?

Oh, it's you.

Only what's on the menu, old-timer.

- This ain't no kinda way to treat a loyal customer!

well, that's a first for you,

An unsatisfied customer.

- no!

no!

Mister Krabs, there was an unsatisfied customer.

Why don't we serve the "rusty on rye" anymore?

- Because we never did.

That sandwich was on the menu of an old restaurant,

One that stood here long before the krusty krab.

'twas an old ramshackle shack called "rusty's rib eye,"

And the only one who ever knew how to make that sandwich

Was the owner, rusty rickets.

However, old rusty bought the farm years ago.

- Ooh. - Nope.

You ain't gettin' that recipe

Unless you're versed in talking to the un-living.

- I believe I've seen a program on this matter.

- Eh, scram.

This conversation's making me dizzy.

- I may be able to get that recipe after all.

I just need to call in a favor.

Hi, Patrick. Spongebob here.

Yeah, the one with square pants, mm-hmm.

Hey, listen, could you meet me after work?

I need your help with something.

Your best friend, Spongebob Squarepants.

- Good night, kiddo. - Good night, boss man.

Patrick and I will lock up.

- Fine, but no eatin' me inventory.

- Okay. - Or me furniture.

- What? Come on, boss man!

We can't eat anything, why are we here?

- Ah, simple, my five-pointed friend.

On this night, we shall make contact

With the un-living!

By performing...A seance!

- Then can we eat some furniture?

No.

- As consort to the spirit world,

I now commence this seance.

I shall invoke the specter of rusty rickets

By reading from the sacred text.

"distilled vinegar, water, number one mustard seed,

Salt, turmeric, paprika, natural flavors."

I now summon the spirit of rusty rickets.

Know, too, that I beckon the spirit of rusty's rib eye.

rusty's rib eye! - But where's rusty?

- Rusty rickets.

- A big ghost? I thought we were--

We were conjuring a rib roast!

I'm outta here!

I'll get help, buddy!

Just get me away from this freak!

He means "freak" in the nicest possible way.

All right, enough of this hocus pocus hooey.

Time to put in some work.

Say, rusty, how 'bout spillin' the beans

On the ol' "rusty on rye" recipe?

Flip, flip, flip. Fla la la.

- Oh, well, that was... Just gibberish.

Hmm, I got it!

How about you write down the recipe

For the classic "number nine"?

- Oh, right. You're a ghost. Hmm.

What if you just showed me how you make one?

- Whoa!

Gee, rusty, quite a setup you got here,

But where's all the sandwich bread?

The condiments? The cold cuts?

- A rye sandwich carved entirely of driftwood?

Mamma mia!

- Spackle.

- Shellac.

- Oh, you want me to try it?

- okay.

mmm, smells industrial.

Ugh! Uh, I'm sure it's an acquired taste.

Is that--

Mmm, it is a "rusty on rye"!

Gentlemen, get up here. The "number nine" is back.

- Hey, I didn't summon you guys.

- No, the odor of a "number nine" did.

- Even from way down there.

- Uh-oh, looks like we're running low on shellac.

I'll get some more.

Boy, those guys sure can be terrifying.

- You know, this little soiree couldn't have happened

Without ol' rusty here.

Let's all give a ghastly howl for rusty rickets!

- All right, guys, I hate to be a party pooper,

But it's a little late for all this noise.

Time to wrap it up.

"big face" doesn't want us

As patrons anymore.

Maybe we should make like a tree and leave!

- Now, wait just a minute! That is private property!

Maybe you guys should leave.

- Oh, yeah?

- Do I have to call--

Ew, ectoplasm.

- Enough fooling around!

Let's have a good ol' time...

Like we used to!

- You better have a darn good reason

For gettin' me outta bed, boy.

- That good enough for you?

- Mister Krabs, Patrick, help!

- Sorry, Spongebob, this is a part of the story

Where I run away again,

Only I don't know where else to go,

So I'm just going to go circle around the building!

- Looks like a certain foolish sponge

Has been conversin' with the un-livin'.

All right, you floatin' nuisances,

Time for the boss man to mop up.

batter up! H'ya!

- H'ya!

Huh? - Oh!

- Yeah, and go back from whence ye came!

- Hi, Mister Krabs-- - never hold a seance, boy-o,

Without me permission,

Because ghosts are like relatives,

Once you let 'em in, they'll never leave.

- Order up. Here's your "number nine," sir.

And everything was better.

what's that?