09x19 - Mall Girl Pearl/Two Thumbs Down

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Ooh!

- Hi, Pearl. - Hey, girl!

Let's hang out! - Ugh, I can't.

I have to work at Hot Dog on a String today.

Brad called in sick, so I'm in charge of stringing the dogs.

Totally lame.

- I guess I'll see you later then.

Can I get one with, uh, extra string?

- What? - Hey, girl!

Want to come over and make fun of boys or something?

- Uh, sorry, girl, I can't.

I'm working at Scorched Coral all day.

It's heinous.

So heinous. See ya later.

- See ya later, Pearl.

- How much is this choker?

- Um, it's a wrist band.

- Awesome.

Nixie speaking.

- Nixie! My bestest friend in the whole wide world.

You should come over.

We can watch TV and eat cheese!

- I wish I could, Pearl,

but I have to work at Dangles and Bangles.

All dangles are half off with the purchase of any bangle.

Dangle must be of equal or lesser value than bangle.

Some restrictions may apply.

- Oh, you don't work at the mall, do you, Derek?

- No, but all my girlfriends do.

- Daddy! Guess what?

I have no idea, Pearly.

- Dad, I'm getting a job today.

Yahoo!

Oh, this is great news, Pearl, me dear!

Now instead of wasting my precious money

on your "clothes" and your "school supplies"...

You can waste your own.

- I'll be a independent working woman,

blazing my own trail and standing on my own two fins.

- That's the spirit.

- Oh, can I borrow $ ?

- I'll miss you around the house.

- Oh, Daddy, you'll see me after work.

- I was talkin' to the money.

- Hey, Marina!

I'm here to apply for a job.

- You should meet the manager, I guess?

He's in his office.

Mr. Pepalino, there's someone here for a job.

I-I don't think he's in there.

We're not hiring.

- Welcome to Scorched Coral. Please go away.

Oh, hey, Pearl. What are you doing here?

- I would like to apply for a job, please.

- Yeah, sorry. You're a little late.

We were hiring, but we actually just hired someone today.

Oh, Nixie, I need to work at Dangles and Bangles.

This is my last chance. You gotta help me out here.

Oh, please, please, please, please, please!

- Come on, let me introduce you to the manager.

- This is-- - Nope, not hiring.

- You don't understand. I have to work here!

- Sorry, missy, the only thing we don't dangle here

is hope.

- Oh, bangles.

Oh, this is the worst.

If I don't get a job at the mall,

I'm gonna have to hang out with my dad.

- You looking for a job, deary?

- Yeah! I need one as soon as possible.

It's a life or death situation, actually.

- Oh, my goodness.

Are you in danger?

- In danger of never seeing my friends

'cause I don't have a job.

- Come with me.

Weird.

I've never been in this part of the mall before.

What's that smell?

- Oh, probably one of the many perfumes that we sell

here at Grandma's Apron!

Congratulations! You're hired.

Oh, this is the best day of my life!

Well, I can't quite afford to be picky these days.

The only other employee besides me was Myrtle,

and she's...no longer with us.

Almost forgot my shades!

See ya later, suckers!

- Hey, Pearl. Over here.

- Did you find a job?

- Yeah, I got a job at Grandma's Apron.

Pearl, you can not be serious.

- Ew, that store is for old people.

Old people are so...old.

- Old people aren't that bad.

Are they?

- Hey, girls, I smell moth balls.

- Well, we are having a sale on them.

They're % off today.

- Um, isn't it your nap time, Pearl?

- Where's your muumuu, granny?

- Oh, don't let those bubble-headed nincompoops

get to you, Pearly.

- But it's not fair.

- Life's not fair, my dear.

We all go through hard times at some point.

Here, look. See?

I was different from the other girls,

and they teased me for it.

They called me "Boring Beatrice."

Not very creative, those girls.

- Who would even take a picture of that?

- Oh, good ol' Jonesy from the AV Club took that one!

- Wait, but who took that picture--

- All that matters, Pearly, my dear,

is that things will soon change.

But in the meantime,

you should be having as much fun as possible.

Let me show you how grandmas do it.

- Whoa, come back here, yarn!

Love the shoes, Pearl.

- You guys just don't get it.

Being a grandma is fun.

I get to sit in a rocking chair,

dust tchotchkes,

bake cookies,

knit mittens, hats, and scarves.

- Scarves.

- It's actually, like, the most coral store in the whole mall,

so you can all just...just... eat barnacles!

- Now, now, girls. Let's be polite.

- What are you gonna do about it, granny?

- Granny power!

Power! Power!

- Aah!

- Aah!

- Pearl, toss me the Autumn Years perfume.

- Hi-ya!

- It smells like pills and bed pans.

Whoa!

- Well, now that you're all sitting down,

let me tell you about the first time

I ever saw a talking picture show.

Oh, boy, did they know how to talk.

- No, please! I can't take any more!

- It's... so...boring.

- No, I hate the past.

- And that's why today, we all wear shoes.

- Okay, okay, We get it.

We will stop being mean, I promise.

Just let us go.

Whoa!

- Listen, Pearl.

We didn't mean to hurt your feeling or anything.

We just, like, think it's weird that you're, like,

a grandma now or whatever.

We don't really get it.

- Well, I don't care what you think anymore anyway.

I'm being true to myself,

and--and that's all that matters!

Eh.

- I'm a grandma now. Right, Beatrice?

- Oh, Pearl, I'm so glad you enjoy being a grandma,

but your friends make a good point.

You're only young once, you see.

You don't want to grow up too fast

or you'll miss out on all the fun.

- I guess you're right.

Being a grandma is nice and all,

but I do miss being a super hip young person.

- Go have yourself some fun, my dear.

How 'bout a nice, gentle handshake instead?

Hey, wait up, guys!

I want to be friends while I'm still young!

- I'll see you tomorrow.

- You dropped this.

One, two, three, four.

I declare a thumb w*r!

Yah!

- Now that was a great thumb w*r, mister.

- It was Patrick, but now we will let peace prevail.

Let us sign this treaty,

and our thumbs will live in harmony.

Great job, Patrick.

- Gee, thanks, Spongebob. That means a lot.

- Wow, giving someone a thumbs-up feels great!

- Boy, these Krabby Patties are delicious.

- I'll say. They're absolutely stupendous.

- Well, you guys are stupendous customers.

That thumbs-up really touched my heart.

- Yeah, me too.

It's like there's a thumbprint of happiness on my aorta.

Flipping.

- Spongebob, you shifty sea-slacker,

have you counted the cups like I told you to do?

- I sure have, Mister Krabs.

Five.

But thanks for being on top of the situation.

You're a fantastic boss.

- Well, thank you.

That's nice of you to say.

Now back to work!

- Yes, sir!

- Oh, Spongebob,

do you have one of your precious thumbs-up for me?

I would just love to get one.

- No, Squidward, I do not have a thumbs-up for you.

I've got two thumbs-up!

That's...thank you.

I think.

Whoo!

Hey, Sandy, I'm giving your outfit two thumbs-up.

This old thing?

It's just something I threw on.

- Well, girl, you really make it work.

- Okay.

- Excuse me, I'm trying to find the Goo Lagoon

and I'm totally lost.

- Great job on not being afraid to ask for directions.

Hm...that way? Okay.

- You got the right stuff, golden boys.

- Spongebob, don't you think that you may be using

the thumbs-up just a teensy bit too much?

- Are you kidding?

The thumbs-up is an iconic, internationally-recognized sign

of positivity and affirmation.

Boop! - Yeah, I know.

But when you do it all the time, the thumbs-up loses its meaning.

It becomes not special.

- Well, I happen to think

you can never give too many thumbs-up.

- I don't know, Spongebob.

I think you should be careful.

- Oh, Sandy, don't be such a worry whale.

What could go wrong?

Whoo, I'm giving away thumbs-up today.

Hey, guy. Way to wait.

- Who, me?

Yeah...

- Hey, guy. Way to walk.

Oh, this feels great.

- Way to flick that eye booger--

- Thumbhawk one. Thumbhawk one.

This is Thumbhawk two. We got two thumbs down.

Repeat. Two thumbs down!

- Thumbhawk one here, copy that.

Initiate emergency procedures.

- Initiating on my count.

Three, two, one.

- Oh, my thumbs. My thumbs!

My thumbs!

How's it looking, Dr. Manfish?

- Well, I'm afraid it doesn't look good, Spongebob.

It seems you've severely damaged your ulnar collateral ligament,

possible from some kind of repeated action.

- An action like a thumbs-up?

- Certainly that is one possibility.

Hitchhiking could be another.

- But doctor, I will be able to use my thumbs again, right?

- Spongebob, I can't say that for certain.

I'm only a board certified thumbologist.

I don't know everything.

I can only say that we must give it time and see.

There are limits to science.

But you should prepare yourself for the possibility

that you may never regain the use of your thumbs again.

- All right, you boneless invertebrate lazy bones...

Come on.

Flip them patties, boy-o, just like the old days.

- Aye aye, Mister Krabs.

- Uh, let me give you a hand. My thumbs work.

- No! I can do it.

- I'm sorry, son, but I have a business to run.

I'm gonna have to let you go.

- That's okay, Mister Krabs. I understand.

- Now where's me new fry cook?

There he is! Come on in here.

Uh, sorry, Spongebob.

- Patrick, I'm glad it's you.

Better than some weird stranger, right?

- Uh, yeah, I guess.

I probably won't even be able to do good flipping.

- With a little practice, you could do anything.

- Ol' Patty flippin' patties.

Who'd a' thunk it, huh?

- Poor kid.

Thumbs, thumbs, thumbs.

Spongebob, it's me, Sandy!

Hey, Spongebob! I haven't seen you in days.

What'cha doin'? - Waiting for autumn.

- Come now, it can't be that bad.

- Leave me, Sandra. Forget you ever knew me.

Erase from your memory the face of this useless sponge

with these mutilated thumbs!

Don't give up, Spongebob!

You have to find something you love.

Something to live for.

- Ha. And what might that be?

- I don't know, Spongebob.

That's a question you have to answer for yourself.

- Sandy? Sandy.

Sandy, come back!

I need you to help me open this jar of peanut butter!

Enough sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

- Um...

Oof. Turn over.

- My thumbs are better, and I am ready to work.

- The job's taken.

- Well, I'm taking it back.

- Just how you gonna do that?

- Thumb w*r.

- En garde.

One, two, three, four.

I declare a thumb w*r!

- Whoa!

- Ooh.

Admit it. You have been bested.

- Never.

- Then prepare to be pinned.

Don't give up.

Something to live for.

Something to live for!

Whoa!

Yeah!

- Spongebob wins!

- Spongebob, you old Patty jockey.

Welcome home, son.

- Uh, it's okay. I hate work anyway.

- Oh, Patrick.

- No, but really, I do hate work.

Everybody's laughing!

Oh, hey, Spongebob.

I got something for you.

- Yes, Patrick?

Ooh.