09x24 - Food Con Castaways/Snail Mail

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Absorbent and yellow and porous is he

Spongebob Squarepants!

- If nautical nonsense be something you wish

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Rev your excitement engines,

Mr. Squidward.

Do ye not know what tomorrow is?

- Another monotonous day I spend walking

in slow motion toward an empty horizon?

- No, that's today. Tomorrow is Food Con!

- Whoa! Food Con!

Wait, what's a Food Con?

- Additionally, who cares?

- Mr. Squidward, Food Con is the biggest convention

of food fans in the entire ocean.

The best chefs and cooks gather together and compete

for the top prize, the golden cornucopia!

- Oh boy! The Krabby Patty is

a sure bet to win the golden corn-ocobbia!

- You're darn tootin' it is!

And you two will be me right-claw men!

Eh, I could use some extra muscle, though,

to help set up the booth.

- Perfect.

Let's hit the road!

As you can see gentlemen, I have spared no expense

on our transportation.

- Tada!

- Whoo! - Oh, what a ride!

- And I brought plenty of free samples to sell.

- This is the best day ever!

Road trip!

- I spy with my little eye-- - Mister Krabs!

Yes!

I spy with my little eye-- - Mister Krabs!

- Oh ho! Yes, yes! - I spy with my little eye--

- Mister Krabs? - Oh! How did you know?

- Enough!

Ye both are barnacles on me brain!

Whoa look at that!

- The World's Second Biggest Lump

is only miles away, we gotta see it!

No.

- The World's Least Exciting Sweater!

My parents fell in love there! We gotta go!

Cool toilet!

No. - We are not stopping

till we get to Food Con!

- Hey!

- Hey!

For the last time, we get it!

Trucks have horns!

- Come on Squidward. Give it a try!

If I do, will you promise to stop?

Yes!

- All right. Hey!

Typical. - You did it wrong, Squidward.

- I did it exactly the way you did it!

- Everybody pipe down!

I don't want to hear another peep from anyone

until we get to Food Con!

- Peep. - Not a peep!

- Peep! - Not. A. Peep!

- Peep!

Peep's Cliff!

Mister Krabs?

Blink if you're alive.

- Oh, thank Neptune we're all okay.

- Well, at least we have plenty of food

while we're stuck out here.

It was an accident!

They fell into my mouth.

Don't worry, guys!

We can still win Food Con.

There's one Patty left.

- We gotta get moving, the judging starts tomorrow!

Now since you boys caused the accident,

you'll be haulin' the trailer.

Yeah! Hauling the trailer!

male And so, Spongebob and Patrick

begin their harrowing task.

Tethered to the wagon not just by ropes,

but by their own foolish mistakes.

Onward they trudge.

Pushed by Mister Krabs,

whose desires blind him to the pain he inflicts.

In short, this whole trip is beginning to look

like a whoopsie!

Ay.

Patrick, are you okay?

- %.

- Mister Krabs, we've got to stop for the night

if you want Spongebob and Patrick to live.

I'm not saying that's what I want,

I'm just telling you the facts.

- We must guard this last Patty

with our very lives.

It's the only way to win Food Con,

and who knows what scary, hungry things

are out there in the woods, waiting to gobble it up!

Positions, everyone.

- Aw, hey little fella.

The Patty!

Oh, what are we gonna do!

- Don't eat my Patty!

Yah!

Whoa!

- Squidward! You saved the Krabby Patty!

- Whoopee.

Maybe I could just eat a pickle.

- Maybe I could just eat the corner of the lettuce.

- I don't want to be a hog.

I'll just eat what's left over.

- No! We can't do that!

I know we're all hungry, but we must stay focused.

Remember Food Con! Remember the cornucopia!

- He says Food Con, but all I hear is food.

- Hey, Spongebob, you look tired.

You want me to guard the Patty for a bit?

- Thanks, Patrick. That'd be great.

Patrick, no!

- I can't believe you thought I would eat it.

- Patrick I'm sorry I doubted you.

I'm just hungry and tired and I feel like

I'm all alone doing the right thing

and I want that-

Hey! Hey! - But I'm hungry!

- Yah! - Oh!

- I'll lull him to sleep with a lovely lullaby.

- Ooh, good idea.

Music soothes the savage beast.

What the!

- Did I say soothes? I guess I meant enrages.

- Everybody's a critic.

Hey there, boyo.

- I've taken the liberty of creating a safe

to secure our precious Patty.

- Great idea, Mister Krabs!

- Just put it right in here.

I'll even step away while you do it.

- Pew, smells really bad in there.

Okay, just do it already!

No! - Enough of this.

I am your boss,

and I order you to give me that Patty!

- No, Mister Krabs, I will not.

But I will give you these.

Nature patties!

- Oh, boy! - Oh, delightful!

- Dig in, boys!

- Oh, it's like eating the inside of a lawn mower.

- I think mine is mostly stones.

- Out here we call them forest tomatoes.

- Enough of this! - Mister Krabs, remember Food Con!

- You can't win Food Con if you've starved to death!

Now, give me that Krabby Patty, boyo.

- No! I'm doing this for your own good.

I'm protecting you all from yourselves!

- Well, in that case, you leave me no choice.

Get him!

- Whoa!

- Hey, psst. It's me, the Patty.

- Oh, hi.

- It's just me and you out here now.

So, just do it. Eat me.

- What about Food Con?

- Oh, forget Food Con.

You're starving, and I'm right here.

Maybe you're right.

- Of course I'm right, I'm a talking sandwich.

- Yes, a sandwich has no reason to lie.

No! I made a vow.

I will not eat you.

- Shh, shh, I can hear him over there.

He's arguing with the Patty.

Let's get him!

Don't let him get away!

- Hungry!

Food Con!

- I'm filled with meat. I love being filled with meat.

Get him!

- Guys, we're here!

- Hungry, hungry, hungry!

- You don't have to eat the Patty.

And I hereby award

the golden cornucopia to--

- Please, try a delicious Krabby Patty!

- What's this? A late entry?

Nature Patty!

Mmm, Krabby Patty.

Ahh, um!

- Mmm, this is the most complex,

mmm, organic, mmm, irresistible flavor

I have ever had the pleasure of tasting!

The winner is...

Mmm, the Krabby Patty!

- Oh, excuse me, sir, that's not the real Krabby--

- Quit your truthing, boy.

We won.

- The Krabby Patty won! It won!

- Yes.

Ah, a happy pineapple under the sea.

Let's take a peak inside, shall we?

You will notice that the sponge is bored,

because his best friend Patrick is away.

Oh, what's this?

"All alone? No one to talk to?

"Why not write to a total stranger?

"Connect with other Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

pen pals today!"

Ooh! I've never had a pen pal!

"Dear Pen Pal,

My name is Spongebob Squarepants."

Oh, that's great!

"I work at a restaurant.

"I love frying and I am very good at it.

Sincerely, your new best friend."

Behold! The perfect letter!

Now for the envelope.

Yah!

Gary, get off of that! You'll smudge my masterpiece.

Uh-oh, it looks as if the domesticated snail

has unintentionally deformed the word "frying,"

making it look like the word "flying".

This is probably going to be a problem later on.

- Eh, it's just a little slime.

Ah, perfect.

Blah.

Blah.

"Dear Spongebob,

Wow! You know how to fly!"

Fly? What does he mean by--

See? What did I tell you?

- Gary, my pen pal thinks I can fly!

- Ha! What a silly misunderstanding.

"I can't believe I know a real life pilot!

I wish I could watch you fly because I am dying!"

Dying!

Not Pen Pal!

I don't want to let him down

and say that I can't fly.

'Cause then his dying wish would never come true!

- We're gathered here today to celebrate the life of Pen Pal.

He d*ed disappointed.

- Whoo! Time to make Pen Pal's wish come true!

With a tiny white lie!

"Dearest Pen Pal, yes, I can fly.

Boy, do I love flying. Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly."

Blah.

"Dear Spongebob, I'll be at the Bikini Bottom Air Show tomorrow.

Please meet me there so I can finally see you fly!"

Oh, no, what have I done? What have I done?

What have I done? I can't fly, Gary.

I'm not a flier! I'm a liar!

Ah, good thinking, Gary.

Sandy'll know just what to do!

- What can I do ya for, Squarepants?

- I did a bad thing, Sandy.

I did a very bad thing.

- Here, take these. They're clean.

- No, no, it's not that.

It's--it's-- I--I--I--

I lied!

Oh, I lied, I lied, I lied, I lied, I lied!

Relax, Spongebob.

You're twitching like a prairie dog

on a cow skin rug.

- Uh, what on a which?

What's got your beehive a-buzzing?

- My who--a--hive--a-- where's in?

- What did you lie about, Spongebob?

Well, there was this big misunderstanding

and now my Pen Pal thinks I can fly

and I didn't think I would ever meet him

but now I have to and he wants to see me fly

and I don't know how and if I don't fly

he'll die disappointed.

I made a horrible mistake, Sandy, please help!

Well, it ain't no lie

if you actually learn to fly.

And I can help you with that. - Really?

- Sure.

- Seatbelt, check!

Controls, check!

- Proper takeoff, check.

How you doing in there?

- Oh, I'm good.

Oh, there's my house!

Ooh, I forgot to feed Gary.

Oh, hi, Gary.

- Failed.

All right, let's try that again.

Spongebob?

All right, Spongebob. I've tied you up to a rope

so you won't be able to go too far off course.

Contact!

- I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

Did I do it?

Good enough.

- Hey, you must be Pen Pal!

- What an honor it is to finally meet you!

Oh, you brave, brave pen pal, you!

- I just wanted to say that today...

Today--today is the first day of the rest of your life.

I promise to fly to the best of my ability,

just for you.

Oh, I will not let you down.

- Mm, my heart is full too, Pen Pal.

My heart is full too.

Phew, that was a close one.

What was that guy talking about?

- Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

feast your eyes upon the daring and death defying,

the porous, the incredible

Flying Sponge!

- Take off, don't die, fly a few seconds low to the ground,

don't die, land, don't die.

So simple!

- Steve's the name and scythes are my game!

You need a scythe?

Steve's got ya covered!

One scythe fits all!

- Get out of here, Steve! - Oh, I had a sale.

- Sandy, I'm nervous.

No, it's still not that.

- Don't worry, Spongebob.

You'll be, uh, just fine.

Yeah.

Get ready, boys.

The bronco is loose. I repeat, the bronco is loose!

- Just fine, yeah.

Pen Pal, this one's for you.

Whoo! I'm flying!

Yee-haw! - Hey, Spongebob!

Ha, I can't believe you can actually fly

like you said in your letter.

- Patrick? You're Pen Pal?

- Ha, uh, duh!

- But--but you said you were dying!

You're not dying.

- Dying? Ha.

Oh, oh, you didn't read the whole letter!

- See, it says "I wish I could watch

you fly because I am dying."

- And here's the second page!

"To see you as a real pilot, Spongebob!

"Here are some other things I'd like to see:

candy rain, a fire truck full of clowns--"

Uh, and a bunch of other stuff.

- It all make sense now!

Oh, Patrick!

You thought I was dying.

- Watch out!

Candy rain. Check!

- Fire truck clowns. Check.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

'Scuse me, pardon me, pardon me,

'scuse me, 'scuse me, pardon me, pardon me, 'scuse me.

Heave-ho!

- Fly first class. Check.

- Ah, something's wrong with the plane!

Here, take the controls.

Take what, now?

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Aw.

- Match point, Spongebob.

- Whoo-hoo! Check and check.

Hey, Patrick?

Who's flying the plane?

- I am.

No, wait.

Ah, ooh.

- Hold on!

We're going down!

Phew, we ran out of gas.

- Don't worry, I've got this.

Yep.

Thanks for helping me finish my list, Spongebob.

- Patrick, it was my pleasure. - Really?

Well, if you don't mind, I have a couple of

other things I'd like to see.

- Let's hear them. - Edible balloon,

a skateboarding snail,

a tower of loose meat that tastes like ice cream,

some ghosts.