08x03 - A Friendly Game/Sentimental Sponge

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Sounds like a mutiny.

What the--

what in Neptune's knickers is this?

- Where's the dude in the boat, man?

Where's the dude in the boat?

You mean Mr. Squidward.

Well, he's at his post right over--

where's me cashier?

Spongebob!

Where in Poseidon's pantyhose

is that sorry excuse for a cashier?

- "Sorry excuse for a cash--"

you mean Squidward.

Yes.

I mean Squidward.

Where is he?

- He's in the storage room.

Says he's working on something requiring...

Complete privacy.

- Ohh, he requires privacy, does he?

What's all the ruckus?

Oh, no!

Please no!

This is terrible.

Are you hurt?

- Oh, well, thank you for ask--

- I wasn't talking to you.

Don't worry. Papa's here.

- Mister Krabs?

Mister Krabs?

Mister Krabs!

Your shelf collapsed on me and I twisted my ankle.

- I didn't even know you had ankles.

- As if working here wasn't bad enough,

now I've been injured on the job.

- Injured on the job?

Oh, no. That would mean--

- it's all right here, Mister Krabs.

The bikini bottom o.W.S. Worker safety guidelines.

Let's see.

It says here, "blah, blah, blah, blah, accident.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, owner negligence.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, substantial fines."

- Substantial fines?

You know, Squidward, uh...

I can't really let the o.W.S. Hear about this, you know?

- Really?

Maybe I should give them a call.

- Now, now, Squidward...

Let's not be hasty.

I'll take care of your poor little ankle personally.

Spongebob! Squidward needs first aid!

- First aid?

Fear not, injured coworker,

for I am certified.

- Oh, no, no, no. Don't touch me.

Spongebob?

Would you mind letting go of my nose?

- Oh, sure.

Get away from me!

Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

Well, this is it!

I am reporting you to the o.W.S.

Please don't report me to the o.W.S.

I'll do anything. Anything at all you ask.

Anything?

Now, if you want anything, just ask.

- I could sure use a pillow.

- And one more for my foot.

- Well, sure thing.

Heh-heh.

Okay, if that's all, I'll just get back to me--

- fluff it. - What did you say?

- I said, "fluff it."

"Fluff my pillow."

I'll fluff him.

- What's that? - Huh?

Oh, um, I said, uh,

"will there be anything else, Mr. Squidward?"

No thanks.

That should do it. - Fine.

- Oh, krabsy!

What can I do for you?

- Just one more thing.

I'm afraid you'll have to

take over for me today.

- What? No!

- Oh, that's too bad.

It looks like my twisted ankle

may become a permanent injury.

That would be an even bigger fine.

You just sit back down and relax.

We don't want you being injured any further.

That was close.

Well, at least the krusty krab isn't very busy today.

- Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep.

Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep.

Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep.

- Oh, of course.

- Oh, Mister Krabs, I have the o.W.S.

Accident report form to fill out.

Let's see.

"Was the accident the result of criminal negligence?"

- Mister Krabs, what is "criminal negligence"?

- It's, uh, what criminals wear to bed.

Don't worry about that.

We don't need to bother those nice folks

over at the o.W.S.

We can do our own investigation.

- Oh, you mean we should find out

if you're criminally negligent.

- Yeah, uh, not exactly.

What I mean is...

I think Mr. Squidward

is hiding something and I want you

to investigate.

- Yes, sir, Mister Krabs--

- shh!

You got to keep it a secret from Squidward.

Can do, Mister Krabs.

Ooh.

If I'm gonna get to the bottom of this,

I'm gonna need some help.

Okay, you stand here.

Now pretend you're Squidward and reach for a bun

and I'll simulate the shelf hitting Squidward.

- Hmm, we seem to be missing something.

Well, we'll have to do it again.

- Oh, do what again?

- Darn. One more time.

Oh, krabsy, after tea,

I think a full tentacle massage would be in order.

- I ain't touching your tentacles

with a ten-foot--

- hello, office worker safety department?

I'll go get the massage oil now.

Heh-heh.

Boy, you got anything?

- Not yet, Mister Krabs.

I'm waiting!

Coming!

- This just isn't adding up.

- Pudding?

- We must be missing something.

Patrick we're gonna need help even more expert than you.

- Um, hello?

Anybody here?

- Oh, for the love of peat moss.

- Anybody at all?

Huh, maybe they're on their lunch bre--

Um, aren't you gonna wash your--

- how long do I have to keep this up?

- Oh, it's going to be a long, slow recovery.

Time to pop my back barnacles.

Is that the secret ingredient?

- Horrible special sauce!

- Office worker safety department.

I'm here to investigate the accident.

Oh, no!

- Oh, yes.

- Squidward, after all I've done for you,

you called the o.W.S.

- He didn't call them, Mister Krabs.

We did.

I needed help investigating the accident.

Right, buddy?

- Um, breakfast, green, Finland.

- Well, I, for one, plan to give him

my full cooperation.

Anything I can do, inspector?

- So this is where the accident occurred.

Can anyone tell me what happened?

- I'll be glad to-- I mean...

I can relive the whole tragic episode

if I must.

It was just another day at the krusty krab.

I was at the register giving it a nice shining

between orders when something caught my eye.

A Patty bun with seeds instead of .

I wasn't about to stand idly by and allow

a customer to go without all his guaranteed

nutrients and vitamins.

"I must replace it with a proper bun,"

I said.

I dashed into action.

Excuse me, sir.

- What a diligent and charming individual.

- That's when I entered the back room

to grab a new bun.

Just as I was about to reach for one,

I heard a slight creak

and that's when the chain snapped.

And then--slam!

My heroic and brave actions were halted

by an unsafe shelf.

Disoriented and in pain,

I collapsed and lay for nearly six hours,

crying softly for help.

Help. Help.

The worst part though is--

is that I never got that kind gentleman his new bun.

- Hmm, I see.

As you know, certain penalties are involved.

Oh, no.

- $ .

Why?

Why? Why?

What's this?

Hold on a second.

Me video surveillance camera.

- What? - I forgot.

I, uh--i borrowed that from the airport.

Now let's see what really happened here.

You...

F-f-f-faker!

Not to mention you were sleeping on the job!

- What are you going to do to me?

I'm gonna make you pay.

- Oh, no.

- Ha-ha-ha! You've failed!

I've finally stolen a krabby Patty.

- That's nice.

- Aren't you...Gonna try and take it back from me?

- Oh, goodness no.

You go ahead. Take it.

- But, Mister Krabs, Plankton will figure out

the krabby Patty formula.

- Nonsense.

Run along, little fella.

Enjoy your krabby Patty.

- Wow. You must have snapped, krabs.

The krabby Patty formula is

What happened?

- Oh, just a little security measure

I've been working on.

Now all krabby patties self-destruct

ten feet beyond the krusty krab, sucker!

- Those krabby patties really hit the spot.

- Next time you might want to try chewing.

You're gonna blow up like a balloon.

Nonsen--

- never listens to me.

- Oh, man.

I stole that krabby Patty fair and square.

- Ooh, poor wittle baby way-bee.

Does wittle planksie-wanksie

need his nappy-wappy?

- Why are you two always fighting?

You were best palsie-walsies once.

- Hey!

- Can't you two make up and be friends?

- Yee! Those days are over, Spongebob.

- Oomph!

Krabs and I are bitter enemies!

- And that's the way we like it!

- If only there was some way to bring you two back together.

- Forget it, Spongebob.

Nothing will make me friends with Eugene krabs.

What is that delicious smell?

Blah!

That doesn't smell delicious.

- No, not that.

It's coming from this way.

Aha.

That delectable odor is coming from that shack.

I must know more!

- "The flabby Patty"?

- Another restaurant?

Looks like krabs has some real competition, huh?

Interesting.

- Wow. A flabby Patty.

- T-minus three, two, one.

Liftoff.

- That was fantastic!

Forget the krabby formula.

I must have the flabby Patty recipe!

- Mister Krabs!

Mister Krabs, I have great news!

- The bank is handing out free samples of money?

- No.

There's a new restaurant down the street

called the flabby Patty and now Plankton only wants

to steal their recipe!

Isn't that wonderful? - What?

Some imitation Patty is trying to steal me business?

Oh, but me customers are loyal.

They won't leave for some nasty flabby Patty.

The flabby Patty shack has stolen all me customers!

- Get used to it, krabs.

Your krabby Patty is old news.

And once I steal the flabby Patty recipe,

your customers will be eating at the chum bucket.

- Oh, no, they won't,

because I'll steal the flabby Patty recipe first.

- Hey, stealing recipes is my shtick.

You haven't got a chance against me.

- Ha! I'll bet I get that recipe way before you.

- Bet you don't. - Bet I will.

- Won't! - Will!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, now!

Instead of competing, why don't you cooperate

and steal the recipe together?

- You're a loser, krabs.

- Same to you!

- Sweet flabby Patty...

Here I come!

- Dig, Spongebob, dig.

- I'm digging, Mister Krabs. I'm digging.

I've so got the drop on that dunderhead krabs.

What the--

- Mister Krabs, I think we're here.

- Ha!

Recipe thieving is as easy as pie.

- Yeah, pie.

- Where are you hiding?

Ooh, there you are, my sweet.

- Mister Krabs, do you hear something?

- I got you, Mister Krabs. I got you.

Mister Krabs?

- Grandma.

Huh?

- That'll show you.

- Don't you see?

If you work together,

the flabby Patty recipe would be yours.

- I'll never work with that malignerant microbe.

- Look what that skinflint did to my antenna.

- I've heard all I'm gonna hear

from the likes of you.

- You'll be hearing from my lawyer

is what you'll be hearing!

- Stand aside.

Restaurant critic coming through.

- So?

- I'm a restaurant critic,

so I get cutsies.

- "Cutsies"? What's a "cutsy"?

- I get to cut in line, so move aside.

Move aside!

What is this world coming to

when a fake restaurant critic can't get cutsies?

- Okay, so here's the plan.

I want you to--

I'm sorry. Do you mind?

Let's go someplace more private.

Once I stand in line, I want you to...

Waiting in line here. Dull.

- Yeah, that's amazing. - Hello!

I have an announcement to make!

- Ooh, an announcement.

We should listen.

It might save your lives.

Um, I need to-- huwahh!

I'm okay.

The fish hooks are coming!

- Brilliant work, laddy!

Hey, how come you're not trampled?

- That fool krabs.

He blew it again!

Now to steal that recipe.

Aha!

There it is.

And it isn't even guarded.

Fish hooks!

- Looks like you blew it again, Plankton.

- I did better than you, Eugene!

- Says who? - Now, now.

I think we all need to calm down.

Fighting is pointless.

You two would have the recipe by now

if you only worked together.

Okay, fine.

We'll work together.

- Yeah, I don't see that working out.

- Not to worry, gentlemen.

I have a plan.

Oh, yeah. Perfect.

- We look ridiculous.

Nobody's gonna buy this disguise.

- I agree!

This is a horrible idea!

- See?

You guys are agreeing already.

That's the first step to...

- Okay, what's your stupid plan anyway?

- Well, look over there.

- Little more. Little more.

- The flabby Patty is hiring.

If you can get the job, the recipe is yours.

Why am I on the bottom?

- Stop whining!

- Yes? - Hello.

I'm here to steal-- no! Darn.

I mean, apply for a job.

- You're hired.

Memorize this recipe.

Well, I'm going on break.

Keep an eye on the place.

- Yes!

The recipe is mine.

- Not so fast, krabs.

- No, you don't, Plankton!

Give it here.

- Oh, no, you don't!

No!

- Yeah, you like that?

- The recipe.

We did it.

- We co-op-er-ated.

- Now let's see what the flabby that's in this Patty.

Four pounds grade-a love...

- One tablespoon listening,

two tablespoons... understanding?

Mix ingredients thoroughly,

fold in warm heart.

Sounds like a recipe for cannibalism.

- Wait a minute. This isn't a recipe for patties.

It's a recipe for... friendship.

- You see, boys, this recipe is no secret.

But I do have a surprise.

Ta-da!

I started the flabby Patty restaurant

just to get you two rascals to team up.

And so the power of friendship triumphs again.

- What?

You mean all this was one of your goofball schemes?

- Now, now, krabs.

Spongebob has taught us important life lessons,

such as, oh, how to fall out of an airplane, for instance.

- Yeah, and how to comically bludgeon meself.

- In fact, I think it's time we repay him.

Don't you?

- Great idea, pal.

We'll teach you about teamwork.

Get back here!

- We should do this more often, krabs.