08x04 - Frozen Face-Off

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Mister Krabs, what you doing?

- Oh, ahoy, Spongebob.

I was just using some old toothpaste I found

to patch up this small hole in the wall.

- Good thing you didn't hire a professional to do that.

- And why is that, Mr. Squidward?

- Because then you'd only get to repair it once.

- So what flavor is it?

- It--it's just a hole in the wall, boy.

It doesn't have a flavor.

- No, I mean the toothpaste!

Well, I think it's...

- Hey, look, Mister Krabs.

That small hole in the wall

just became a medium-sized hole in the wall.

- Time to get out the dental floss. Ha.

- Thanks again for taking us to the krusty krab, dad.

- Yeah, mom never brings us here.

- Any time, kids.

What the--?

- Careful now...

- Hey, you guys put in a drive-through.

- We did? - Great.

I'll have three large krabby patties,

krabby fries, a krabby kola,

and two extra-large orders of krabby rings.

Is this toothpaste?

- Boy, I don't know how I think of this stuff,

but I think I got a winner.

We are puttin' in a drive-through.

- A dri--oh!

- Sounds like a lot of extra work to me.

- You mean foryou.

- It'll cost you money.

- Oh, nonsense.

We'll build it for free.

- Hi, Mister Krabs.

- Ahoy, Spongebob. What's with all the Booty?

- I got this microphone system,

so we can hear what the customers order,

this neat sign with a menu on it,

and this colorful arrow so they'd know where to go.

It even lights up. See?

- Well, that's great, Spongebob,

but I already got a bunch of stuff that's better--

a menu board made with old napkins and packing tape,

a microphone I made with some rusty tin cans I found,

...and this sign I made from an old noodle.

- I don't get it, Mister Krabs.

How is this stuff better than the things I bought?

- I'm sorry. What?

- How is this stuff better?

- Because it was...

Free!

- I'll have a medium fries,

a large krabby Patty, and a medium drink.

- Coming right up, sir.

Spongebob, I need a medium fries,

large krabby Patty, and medium drink.

- I'll have that ready

in two shakes of a lamprey's tail.

That ought to fix it.

Thank you! Come again!

- Yes, you like it right there, don't you?

Can I help you?

- A bill? What's this for?

- It's for my dry cleaning.

It seems as though your new drive-through window

is a little on the challenged side.

Size-wise, I mean.

- There. Problem solved.

- Spongebob, two large, two medium.

I hate my job.

- Excuse me, I'd like to place an order, please.

- Ahoy, Squidward.

- Mister Krabs, I'm getting really tired

of running back and forth.

I find it both exhausting and time-consuming.

- Oh, wonderful. Peachy.

Now how am I supposed to get to Spongebob

so I can hand him these order tickets here?

- Problem solved!

- Squidward, hi!

- Oh, it's days like this

that make me wish I had gone to college.

- Now I'll be able to get a krabby Patty

the simplest way possible.

By ordering one.

I would like to order one krabby Patty, please.

Uh, extra secret formula.

Hello?

Is this stupid thing on?

- Mr. Squidward, any customers?

- None that I can hear.

- Oh, here comes one now.

- Hey. Hey! Go around!

Go around! Aah!

- Large krabby Patty with fries, please.

- With fries, got it.

We'll have that right out to you, sir.

- What? You're closed?

Yeah, now she tells me.

- There you are, sir. The ketchup's in the b--what?

Did somebody order a krabby Patty?

Nobody, huh?

Okay, I'll just toss it in the trash.

- I sure am in a jovial mood.

How about you guys?

- You bet, Pearl.

- Oh, I'm feeling especiallyjovial.

You know, being a teenager and all.

- Welcome to the krusty krab drive-through.

Can I take your order?

- Hey, you guys,

it sounds like that weird guy Squidward.

What do you say we play a prank on him?

- Ooh, sounds like a great idea to me--

being a teenager and all.

Two large krabby patties, please!

With fries!

- Aah! Oh!

I'm not faking it, you know.

That really hurt.

A lot.

- A bill? And what is this for?

- It's for my ear replacement surgery.

We need a real microphone and speaker.

- Do you have any idea

how much a real microphone and speaker cost?

- How much?

Well, they cost as much as...

As a...As a real microphone and...Speaker.

- Oh, whoa. Whoopsie!

- Hey!

You delinquent.

- Now you'll have to replace it.

- Replace what? - The microphone.

- What, do I look like I'm made out of tin cans?

- No, but that pile of tin cans over there is.

- Good thing we got you around to always point out the obvious.

- Good thing you'rearound to never notice the obvious.

- Sorry about that, dude.

- Well, that's nice.

I'm still billing you for the damages.

- One krabby meal. To go.

- Hand it on up here.

- Sure thing, Larry.

- Come on, bro. You can do it.

- Or maybe not.

- Mister Krabs, I'm concerned.

Why, Spongebob?

- Because I can't reach the window

of Larry the lobster's s.U.B.

- Yeah.

Well, there's a solution to every problem.

There. Problem solved.

Hey, what's all the ruckerus about? Whoa.

- Hey, what's the hold up?

- How long you gonna make us wait?

- We've been waiting here for hours!

- We're still waiting. In our driveway.

- Squidward!

There's a line o' customers out there a million miles long!

- That's nice. That's interesting.

- I guess I'll be retiring early after all!

- Mr. Eugene krabs?

- Yes?

What? Is this a--a--a ticket?

- A ticket?

Now why would I write you a ticket?

Huh? Oh, I know.

How about for turning the whole town into a parking lot?

- But, officer, I, uh, I, uh, listen...

- Relax, man, that's just my order.

I want two krabby patties and kelp fries to go.

I don't wait in lines.

- Oh, sure!

Right. Whew!

Ha ha ha.

Spongebob, can you get the kind officer two--

- krabby patties and kelp fries to go, sir?

Anything for our boys in blue.

- Here you go, officer.

And thanks for being so understanding,

if you know what I mean.

No charge.

- You're welcome.

Just hope the mayor doesn't find out about this mess.

He's the one you need to worry about.

- Mayor.

- Eugene krabs?

- Aah! Mr. Mayor!

- The whole town is at a standstill

because your drive-through is so slow.

- Well, don't you worry, Mr. Mayor.

There's an answer for that, too.

There ya go.

See, now we got two drive-throughs,

two lines, and I'll make money twice as fast.

That should work perfectly.

- Okay, who had the double krabby Patty with fries

and extra chees--?

- Me! Me! - Right here!

- Spongebob, order up.

- I'm on it.

- Hurry, Spongebob. I've got more orders.

orders up!

- No, no, no, not that window! The other one!

- Squidward, are you sure?

These customers over here look really, really hungry.

- Hey, I want some food here! - Come on! I can't believe...

- And these ones don't?

- Hey, watch it, will ya?

I just had this thing repainted!

- And I just had thisrepainted.

- I see you used the extra-glossy.

- Chum nuggets here!

Goin' fast. Get 'em while they're cold.

Get 'em while they're runny.

Looks like krab's drive-through is really payin' off...

For me!

Oh, no. Not again.

Aah!

- Oh, darn it!

Now there's a line!

- Watch where you're going, old man!

This is the second time!

- I'm too old to wait in lines.

- Chum nuggets.

Get 'em before...

My arm falls off.

They're everywhere!

- Mister Krabs.

- Stay back. Take Squidward. Not me!

Ooh. Hi, Squidward.

- Mister Krabs, we got to do something!

The customers are mad with hunger!

They're beginning to riot!

- For once, he's right.

- Easy, boys. Easy!

Don't you think you're both getting a little carried away?

I mean, I'd hardly call this a riot.

Right?

Okay. Don't worry. I can solve this.

More drive-throughs. More money!

Hey, is somebody eating potato chips?

- Don't worry, Mister Krabs. We can fix it.

We might need to buy some more toothpaste, though.

For me?

Well, on behalf of yours truly,

I would like to thank each of you

for such a wonderful and warm welcome.

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

- What'd I do?

- Ooh! Mrs. Puff, thank you most of all.

- Spongebob, that warm welcome wasn't for you.

- It wasn't? - No.

- Well, then who was it for?

- It was for him!

It's Tony fast,

the famous race-boat driver,

and his first-born son, Tony fast junior.

- I can't believe it's him.

- I can't believe that I'm in the presence

of such big celebrities.

- Good luck on your first day of school, son.

- Yeah, whatever.

- Don't show off too much.

Show off...Just enough.

- Hey, Tony junior, want to sign my lunch box?

- Want to sign my steering wheel?

- Want to sign my--

- hey! I was here first.

- No, you weren't. I was.

While Tony junior is a student here,

he will receive no special attention.

He will be treated just like the rest of us--no exceptions.

Now, Tony, report to the obstacle course

where I will assess your abilities.

- Sure thing, teach.

- Hold it.

Not until you've signed my lunch box.

- Go, Tony junior, go!

Go, Tony junior, go!

Hooray!

- Looks like it's my turn.

What goes around, comes around.

Over and out.

Hooray!

- He is good.

If he's really that good,

maybe there's a chance... just a chance...

Some of that could rub off on my most incorrigible student,

Spongebob Squarepants.

Yes!

- Mrs. Puff?

- Yes, Spongebob?

- What does "incorrigible" mean?

- So you just want me to ride around

with this dude for a while?

- That's it. - Whatever. Let's roll!

- It's nice to finally meet you, Tony fast junior.

- I said, "let's roll!"

- Okay, uh, roll, roll, roll.

Is there a button for that?

Uh, I know I know this.

It's around here somewhere. I--

- just drive! - Just driving.

Aah!

Yow-ow-ow!

What do these dotted lines mean?

- Relax, man. You got to relax.

- Relax. Relax?

Mrs. Puff hasn't taught us that yet!

- No, I mean just relax, man.

- Okay. Just-relaxing, man.

Re--lax--ing.

Relaxing...so hard!

I can't relax!

- No, no, no, not like that.

You just got to let go.

- Let go? - Be...Cool.

- Be cool?

- Be cool.

- Be cool.

Cool...

- Not bad, dude. Not bad.

It's a miracle!

- Neptune be praised!

- That went better than expected.

Oh, if Tony junior can keep this up,

then Spongebob might even graduate,

and I'll be rid of him forever.

Forever!

Forever!

- Okay, bro jangles,

catch you...

On the flip side.

What the--?

- Mwah!

- Hey, Tony junior!

- Yeah, what is it?

Can't ya see I'm walkin' here?

- I can see that.

And I'm eager to learn more from you.

- "Eager"? - Yeah.

- I can't teach you anything more at this square school.

No offense, Squarepants.

- None taken.

- Well, if you really want to learn more,

you can come by my house laters.

- Ooh, I'd be delighted to.

- Who is it?

- Spongebob Squarepants.

- Who?

Sponge...bob...

Square... pants.

- Tony fast junior!

- Guy from school! Come on in.

- Nice place you got here, Tony junior.

- Thanks. Lived here all my life.

My mom and dad are out.

- Oh... uh, what does that mean?

- It means...

You wanna see my dad's vintage speedboat collection?

- Oh, would I?

- And he took first place in this beauty,

surpassing speed records held by both Frances baconskin junior

and smitty "tailpipe" rotherma.

- Wow, they're so shiny.

- Pick yer favorite.

- My favorite? Oh, I couldn't.

- Why, sure ya can. What's the big--

- this one! - Huh? The baytona classic.

Excellent choice.

Want to take her for a spin?

- A spin? But we don't even have boating licenses!

- You don't need a boating license

for a raceboat, Squarepants.

- Wow, Tony junior, she handles like a dream.

It's like I'm floating on air.

- You're tellin' me!

- Are you sure you're comfortable

with me driving, though?

I admit I am feeling a little nervous.

- I wouldn't, if I were you.

Remember, it was your nerves

that made us almost crash before.

- Ha ha! My nerves.

I almost forgot about-- my nerves!

- Hey! Watch it!

- Sorry sir!

- Just let go.

- "Let go." Got it!

Whee!

- Go faster, Spongebob.

- Faster?

- Just let go. Of the brakes!

- If you say so!

Wheee!

Wheee!

Whee!

- Now you're getting it.

- Whee--red light!

Real cool, Squarepants.

- Thanks, t.F.J.

- That's quite a fancy speedboat you got there.

For a couple of squares!

- What he said.

- Thank you.

And may I say how lovely your speedboat is too,

for a bunch of circles.

And by "circles" I mean well-rounded individuals.

- Eh, wise guy, huh?

Well, then, how about you wise up

to an unfriendly competition?

Right here, right now.

- Yeah! What he said.

- "Right here, right now."

It's little short notice.

I'll need to check my availability.

Let's see...Right now.

Looks like I don't have anything scheduled for right now.

Therefore, I would like to accept your challenge.

- Yes!

- However, certain safety concerns

prevent me from doing so.

Therefore, I must decline.

- Squarepants, I can't believe what I'm hearing here.

- I don't hear anything.

- Ugh. Look, kid,

being cool includes accepting this challenge.

Anything less would be an embarrassment.

- I would never want to embarrass you, Tony junior.

Therefore, I accept your challenge!

- Oh, it's on!

- What he said!

- Do you mind?

- Ha ha ha ha ha!

- What he said!

- Grrrrr.

- Sweet!

Instant tannage!

- Grrrr.

- Nyah ha ha ha!

- We're winning! We're winning!

- Whoa! Did you see that?

That guy wasn't just going fast. He was going Tony fast!

Oh, no!

The cops are after us! What are we gonna do?

- What?

Sorry, I couldn't hear you over that siren.

- N-now there's a helicopter after us!

- What's that?

I couldn't hear you over that helicopter.

- And in other news, son of racing legend Tony fast is

currently embroiled in a high-speed chase.

It is rumored that the--

- what the-- - what are we gonna do?

- Tony junior, when I get my hands on you, I'm gonna--

- now your dad is after us!

- Sorry, I couldn't hear you, my-my dad is after us?

What are we gonna do?

- How should I know?! He's your dad!

- Well, just remember my advice, okay?

All you gotta do is "let go, be cool."

Let go...Be cool.

- Do you see where "letting go" has gotten us so far?

Huh? Tony junior!?

- No. But I see where it's getting us next!

- Waaaaaaa!

- Well, class, I regret to inform you

that Tony junior is no longer with us.

- He was transferred to another school.

However, I think maybe Tony junior taught us all

a valuable lesson.

Never argue and drive?

- Close.

The lesson is, "never let you drive."