- Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants!
- Spongebob
Squarepants!
I'm bored.
- Hmm, interesting.
Me too!
Let's go look for something to do
in old man Squidward's shed.
- Old man Squidward's shed?
- Yyyuuup.
Ooooh.
What's that?
- What is it?
- I don't know, Patrick.
It's old man Squidward.
- Hide!
Where's my trowel?
- Spongebob?
- Yes, Patrick?
- Is this a trowel?
- Yes, Patrick.
- Oh, here it is.
- Don't hurt us, Squidward.
- We're bored.
- We just want to play with your...
Whatever this thing is.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
You morons would probably--
you want to play with my lawn mower?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- Thanks for letting us mow your lawn, Squidward.
Ahhh! My Patty-flipping hand!
Knock yourselves out.
Crash!
- Whoa!
- Vroom-vroom-vroom-vroom.
Excuse me, Davy.
I've got my first blind date in years,
and I've got to look good.
Hmm, it's a little torn.
Course, it was the shirt I was buried in.
Ah, memories.
Okay, that one's a bit ripe.
Stained.
Naw.
Too itchy.
Hey, there she is.
I've been savin' this beauty for a special occasion.
Lookin' good.
- Who dares--
who--
disturb--
the flyin'--
dutchman?
My beard!
Hey!
Thwack!
Who dares disturb the flyin' dutchman?
- You're not the flying dutchman.
- Yeah, the flying dutchman has a beard.
- I don't look like the flying dutchman
because you morons cut off my beard!
- Oh, makes you look a thousand years younger.
- I don't want to look younger.
I hate youth.
I'll probably get pimples again.
- Your beard will just grow back.
- You know nothing of my facial hair.
It'll take a thousand years for my beard to grow back!
- I'm sorry, but we don't know what it's like to be ghosts.
- Well, maybe it's time you learned.
Until my beard grows back,
I'm gonna turn you two fools into ghosts.
Prepare to be...
Ghostified.
- Ghostified?
That's not even a real word.
- Okay, you're having too much fun.
- We're mermaids.
- You're ghosts!
Ohh.
- We're ghosts.
Yay!
- This isn't really working out the way I imagined.
Ohhhhhhh.
Squiiiidwarrrrrd.
- It's spongeboooob.
- And patriiiick.
We're ghooooosts.
Oooooooh.
- We're going to haunt you foreveeeeer.
Ohhhhhhh.
- Eh, well, that k*lled the mood.
Oooooooh.
- I knew I shouldn't have lent them my lawn mower.
- Good night, Patrick.
Being a ghost can sure tire you out.
- Good night, ghost buddy.
- That's odd.
However shall I get in?
Blahrb!
Hmm, well, that's handy.
I am b*at.
Well, I don't need to take the stairs.
Hey, Patrick,
I didn't sleep so good last night.
- I didn't sleep at all.
I could see through my eyelids.
My eyelids!
- I'm late for work.
- My eyelids.
Don't worry, Mister Krabs. I'm here.
- Aaaah! Mermaid!
- Spongebob, you're late.
Why are you bright green?
What happened to your legs?
- He's a ghost, Mister Krabs.
- A ghost, eh?
Can you still cook krabby patties?
- Can do, Mister Krabs.
- Then get your Captain's quarters in the kitchen.
- Aye, aye, oh, living employer.
- Ew.
Clink!
Splat!
I can't cook krabby patties.
I don't want to be a ghost anymore, Patrick.
- I don't either.
I can't eat anything.
Food just goes right through me.
- Maybe the weird hairless man will change us back.
- Yeah, let's go see the flying dutchman.
- Ah, at least I still have my personality.
Change us back. Change us back.
- We don't like being ghosts. I hate being a ghost.
Please, Mr. Dutchman, we can't take it.
Constantly moaning and groaning.
- Invisible to the world.
- Living without a soul.
- It's miserable.
- How could anyone live like this?
I guess you feel my pain.
I'll lift the curse from you.
Snap!
- Hey, we're still ghosts.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The curse will wear off when my beard grows back.
- But we want to be normal now.
- Well, I want to be on my date now.
But you knuckleheads loused that up too.
- We're still ghosts because you can't go on your date?
- And you can't go on your date because you're ugly?
Makeover.
Boing!
Sproing!
- Thanks, fellas.
I love the new beard.
Well, I'm off on my date.
Don't wait up.
- I don't get it.
- Several months later...
- Well, here we are several months later.
I wonder how the dutchman and his new girlfriend are doing.
- I can't do it.
She wants to marry me.
I ain't the marryin' type.
Aaahhh!
Ding!
- Ah, what a day.
- Good morning, krusty krab.
Oh, sorry, Squidward.
Didn't see you there.
- Not a problem, Spongebob.
Not a problem at all.
- Specials? We don't have specials.
- Good morning, sir.
Welcome to the krusty krab.
I think I'll have a krabby Patty.
Thwap!
Ooh.
One krabby Patty comin' up.
- Mr. Squidward, you're in a chipper mood this mornin'.
Did you get an order of fancy decorative soaps
in the mail or somethin'?
- Even better.
I have a clarinet recital
immediately after work today,
so ain't nothing gonna ruin my day.
- Ooh, ooh, terribly sorry, sir.
- No need.
See? Not a drop.
I can't take this anymore!
- I told you. There's no early bird special.
Now, stop callin' me here, mother.
- This is unacceptable.
- What? - This.
- Nice to have you back, Squidward.
- This is an outrage.
I will no longer tolerate my personal items being soiled
by the rabble that crawls into this restaurant.
I demand a place to put my stuff.
- Hmm. Okay.
I suppose you could put it with the nacho cheese.
No one's gone near that in years.
- You ever read this, krabs?
- Bikini bottom labor regulations?
Ew, gross!
Get that thing away from me.
It's givin' me hives.
- It specifically states that all employers
must provide his or her employees
with a secure, clean place to store personal property.
- Ah, blast you, Squidward.
You drive a hard bargain.
I guess I could rustle something up for you.
- Yeah, sizzle those juices.
Oh, here we go.
Found it.
- Wow. What is it?
- It's me Old Navy locker.
Good as new.
- Who's that, Mister Krabs?
- That appears to be corporal Sterling, lad.
I forgot all about that prank.
Squidward, your locker's ready.
- Ooh, do we get to share this locker like we share hairnets?
- Not in a whale's age.
- Now, not so fast, Mr. Squidward.
The law requires that all employees
have a secure place for personal items.
So you are required by law to share.
- Oh, I suppose I can share,
but only since it's required by law.
Hey, this thing is filthy.
You don't expect me to clean it.
- No, he doesn't.
And I don't either.
- Blimey. She hasn't sparkled like this since boot camp.
Carry on, boys.
- Impressive indeed.
Just keep your grubby little hands to your side.
- You got it, Squidward.
Finally I have a clean place to store my toothbrush.
- Just don't touch my clarinet.
- I promise nothing untoward will happen.
- Order up, Spongebob.
Spongebob, what do you think you're doing?
You're supposed to be fry cooking.
I told you not to touch my stuff.
- I didn't.
I wore protective gloves.
And besides, don't you like how classy it looks now?
- Velvet?
- Now, I'd like to stand by and idly chat with you, Squidward,
but I must attend to my krusty krab duties.
In the future, please keep your interruptions
to a minimum, sir, please.
- And here is your change, ma'am.
What is that idiot doing now?
- Loose change.
- Aaaaarrrr!
- I hope you're not trying to shove those boxes
into that locker.
- Too late. It's already done.
- If you smashed my clarinet, so help me, Neptune, I will--
- don't worry, Squidward. There's plenty of room.
I expanded a bit.
- Well, it's all fine and dandy, but where's my clarinet?
- Well, that's simple.
We just simply consult the card catalog
and find Squidward's clarinet, drawer . -b.
See?
- Fine, but remember,
it is vitally important that nothing happens to it.
- No worries, buddy.
You're in good hands.
- Eat up.
What's he doing?
- May I order, please?
- All right, what do you want?
- I'll have--
everything okay back there?
- Yeah, just a bit of, um, renovation.
My clarinet.
Spongebob.
Sponge--
Spongebob?
There, . -b.
A note?
- "Item has been temporarily moved during reconstruction.
Relocated to shelf , . -e."
- Spongebob.
, . -e.
Another note?
- "Oops. Did I say , . -e?
"I meant , . -m.
Sorry."
- Spongebob?
Spongebob?
- Spongebob, wait.
What have you done with my--
- Spongebob, I do not play games.
Where am I?
What is this place?
My clarinet.
What the--
- hey, come back. I need my clarinet.
Come back.
Where are you?
Spongebob--oof.
- I am the keeper of the horned forest.
State your business here.
- I--I'm trying to find my clarinet.
- Your clarinet?
- Yes, my clarinet,
of which I am the proud owner.
A clarinet is not owned.
Why don't you tell me why you're really here?
- You callin' me a liar?
- I don't appreciate your tone.
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.
- This is a sacred place
where clarinets can live without persecution.
You need to learn respect.
- I've learned.
I've learned respect.
- I don't believe you.
- Aaahhh!
- Stand still, you idiot.
- I got you now.
Aha.
What the--
Spongebob?
Spongebob?
Ha-ha-ha.
- Aaahh!
Ding!
- I win! I win!
Hey, what are you doing here?
- You tell me, what in the wide world of sports is this place?
And how did you get so big?
- Hmm, must be all the pressure.
- What are you talking about?
- It must be...
The pressure.
I got to get out of here!
- Where are you going, you imbecile?
- Almost got you.
Oof. Oof.
I just sweet-talked an old lady
out of bucks for a krabby Patty.
- Squidward, are you okay?
Such a nightmare.
- Squidward, what are you trying to say, buddy?
I tried to get my clarinet in there.
It's impossible.
- Clarin--oh, you mean this.
Where did you get that?
- Well, with all the ruckus you were making over it,
I kept it with me just to make sure it was safe.
- Call it a friendly gesture.
- I'll show you a friendly gesture.
Do you know the horror I've endured?
Let's see how you like it!
Crash!
- Are you ready, Mr. Squidward?
- Yes, yes, I am.
As a matter of fact, you wouldn't believe
what I had to go through to get--
gaahhh!
- Hi, Squidward.
You wouldn't believe
what I had to go through to get here.
- Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
- Huh, I was just going to bring him his clarinet.
07x08 - SpongeBob's Last Stand
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.