07x10 - A Day Without Tears/Summer Job

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Delivery for Mr. Squidward tentacles.

Hello?

Anybody here?

- Squidward's not at his post.

There's something missing.

- Hello?

Yoo-hoo, mail delivery.

- Hello, I'm Squidward.

Welcome to the krusty krab,

where we never leave our post.

And how may I help you on this fine day?

- Right.

- Hey.

It's hard to get my beauty sleep

when people keep dropping junk on my head.

Hooray!

Yahoo!

Whoopee!

Whoopee!

Whoo-- - pee!

- Whoo--

- pee.

- Whoop-- - pee!

- Avast, there.

What are you all happy about?

- I'm on my happy break, Mister Krabs.

- You I'm used to.

Why is he so happy?

- I'm holding a package

from famous producer buddy barracuda.

I sent him my play, and how he's gonna produce it.

I quit.

So long, losers.

Let's see here. Oh, yeah.

"Thank you for submitting your play

strokes of genius.

"Your work speaks volumes about you as an artist,

"a person, and a member of society.

"So it is with great pleasure that we announce

we will not be doing your play."

- Hey, Squidward!

You're back from your amazing success as a play writer.

- And your shirt,

is that a cotton-poly blend?

Fancy.

And just look at your stylish new hairdo.

Say, is that a copy of your play?

Oh, my goodness!

Are you gonna put on your amazing play

at our little old krusty krab?

Oh, you are a true patron of the arts, Squidward.

- Well, I suppose that could work.

If people see my play,

they'll recognize my genius,

and I'll become famous, and...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.

Me customers come here for greasy food at high prices,

not for singing and dancing.

- But my play doesn't have singing and--

- but, Mister Krabs, people pay to eat, right?

- Of course.

- And they would pay to watch a play, right?

- Uh, I suppose.

- Well, if they eat and watch a play,

you can charge twice as much.

- Really? How 'bout four times as much?

- Well, I don't see why not.

- Well...

Okay, but only on one condition,

that you both keep working,

'cause if just one krabby Patty is late,

I'm shutting you down.

- Hmm, now, what will we call

this eating dinner and watching theater?

- Dinner theater?

- Oh, sure.

- No, come on. Let's get serious.

We need a title that sounds...

Dramatic.

Got it!

We'll call it "singy eaty time."

- But, Spongebob, there's no singing in my--

- I love it!

- Wow, look at all these aspiring actors

wanting to take part in my genius.

- Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

And all of them willing to work for no pay.

- Did I get the part?

- You've got all the parts.

- Yeah!

Yeah!

- And we let him handle our food?

- Hmm, "singy eaty time with Squidward tentacles."

Hello, can I order?

Hello?

- It's time.

Places, people.

Places.

- Please take your seats.

- Dim the house lights.

Bring up the stage lights.

Raise the curtain.

- How much am I getting for this?

- Unto this world, an octopus was born,

a cephalopod with promise and potential.

- Um, I'd like a double krabby meal

with extra kelp.

- Go away, go away. Shoo, shoo.

- What did I tell you?

You do your job, or I'm shutting you down.

- Fine.

He had promise until he came

to work here at the krusty krab,

serving local morons

heart-stopping, artery-clogging garbage

masquerading as food.

- Yah-hey!

- At the krusty krab, his talent was wasted.

- Excuse me.

Can I get a refill?

- No, you ca-- - Squidward.

Yes, you can.

But who will refill the empty chasm in my soul?

- I don't know, man.

I don't know.

- His life shattered,

is there any task too demeaning for our hero?

- Hey, my krabby Patty doesn't have ketchup.

- It would appear not.

No ketchup?

That's terrible.

Here, let me help you with that.

Would any of you want this job?

Mm-mm.

- Squidward, you get that customer a fresh Patty

with ketchup, now.

And don't forget to charge him again.

- And then there's skinflint boss.

- What's that, Mr. Squidward?

- Um, but Mister Krabs, I'm acting.

- Oh, well, that's okay then.

But get him a krabby Patty.

- Fine.

Spongebob, one krabby Patty with ketchup.

And now we come to the worst part of my job,

working with him.

The--um--

uh, the-- dah...

I forgot my line.

- You don't have any lines!

- I don't?

- No, just stand there

and act like...

Yourself.

I can do that.

One krabby Patty coming up.

Ooh, what is this?

A stray wrapper in my kitchen?

Oh, the trash is full.

I had better call the garbage truck.

- Talent.

Outstanding.

Thank you.

That'll do.

But lo and behold...

- Hey, man, where's my krabby Patty?

- His genius was unrecognized.

- Come on, man.

I just want my Patty.

- Yeah, me too.

- Taken for granted,

uncredited, overlooked,

ignored...

- Disrespected,

unappreciated,

unloved.

But worst of all...

Underpaid.

It's funny,

'cause it's true.

- He's done. Order.

- And furthermore...

Oh, there's forevermore.

- Unfulfilled.

In a word, his myriad of talents were...Wasted.

- Oh, come on!

We want krabby patties.

We want krabby patties.

- Squidward, you still haven't given me customers

their crabby patties.

- All right.

Spongebob, where's that Patty?

- Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

What have I done?

Have I let the lure of theater production

get between me and my patties?

Squidward, forgive me.

I let the glamour of the stage

distract me from my true calling,

making sure that every krabby Patty I prepare

is the best it can be.

- No, Squidward, no.

Those patties aren't fit for public consumption.

- Here, enjoy.

Oh, come on.

All that waiting for this?

- Oh, puh-lease.

You wouldn't know quality

if it hit you in the face.

Doh!

I said if it hit you in the face.

- Whoa-ho-ho-ho.

That was worth the wait.

I'll take two more.

- I'll take five.

- I want to throw something at him.

- Hey, yeah, we all want to throw something at him.

- Quiet!

Gentle patrons, krabby patties are meant to be eaten,

not flung.

Think of all the joy

these greasy, juicy patties

and their attendant condiments have given you.

- Gosh, he's right.

- We shouldn't be so disrespectful

of our favorite meal.

Bless you all.

- I like throwing food.

- Doh!

Food fight!

Doh!

- And for you?

- I'll take .

- Do you have anything heavier?

- Certainly.

- Oh, boy.

- Squidward. Squidward!

Good news.

The play is such a success,

I've added two more shows and a matinee.

Break a leg tomorrow.

- D'oh.

- Ahh, the eternal expanse of the deep sea,

teeming with fantastic creatures...

Uh...teeming...

I'm sure they're around here somewhere.

Ah-ha!

Oh, that's a rock.

Where is everybody?

Egh!

It is just Spongebob.

Watch and witness

one of the rarest and mysterious rituals of the deep,

the staring contest.

- Patrick, wow. - What?

- You are the best starer I've ever stared at.

- Oh, staring contest.

I thought it was a blinking contest

and I was losing.

- Hark, Patrick.

Do you hear something?

Thunk!

Hmm, it's a letter for Sandy,

all the way from Texas.

We better deliver it.

Sandy!

Oh, it's not opening.

- Hey, Spongebob,

I have something that might help.

- "How to open things."

Brilliant, Patrick!

I saw the movie, but I never read the book.

- Uh, okay.

Garbage cans...No.

Jar...no.

Box...no.

Sandy's door!

"Twist to the left."

- Oh, I was twisting to the right.

- A common mistake, my good friend.

Allow me.

Okay, time to open this.

- Hi-ya!

Trying a ninja sneak att*ck?

Hi-ya!

Well, you're still no match for my squirrel fu.

It's a letter from my twin brother Randy.

- Do you mind?

- Not at all. Read on.

- Doesn't bother me.

- Get out of my suit!

Well, golly.

Randy says the rodeo's come to town.

I've got to head back to Texas

and defend my championship title.

- Championship title? For what?

- You got cotton in your ears?

- Mm, no, it's not cotton.

It's actually an old moldy piece of krabby Patty.

- Is your championship title for jellyfishing?

- No. - Karate?

- No!

- Perhaps the science fair, then.

- No, it's my rodeo championship on the line.

- Rodeo?

What does "rodeo" mean?

Yee-haw!

- Clowns?

Don't go, Sandy.

It's too risky.

- I must.

It's my duty.

- Oh, this is terrible.

We can't let Sandy go all alone.

It's too dangerous up there, right, Patrick?

- Eh, I'm in-diff-er-ent.

- How could we live with ourselves

if Sandy got hurt and we weren't there to help?

Why, I wouldn't be able to look at myself.

- Look at yourself?

How do you do that?

Whoa.

Eeeh-yah!

- Patrick!

This is no time for silly games.

Sandy needs us.

You understand?

Patrick?

Patrick?

- No more tight jeans!

- Oh, I'm sure someone else will help me.

So there you have it, Mister Krabs.

Sandy really needs our help.

- Okay, explain it to me again,

but this time, take out anything

that doesn't have to do with money.

Uh-huh, that's what I thought.

- I need to find someone with compassion,

someone who selflessly helps others

with no concern for his own safety.

I need...A hero.

Oh, Squidward!

Sandy is in terrible trouble.

You've go to help me save her.

- Oh, no, Sally's in trouble?

- Uh, Sandy.

- Don't worry, Spongebob.

Just wait right here.

I'll get my emergency squirrel rescue kit.

- Right-o, Mr. Tentacles, sir.

- Just don't panic.

Well, there's one last person I can ask.

Plankton!

- What?

- Sandy's in trouble.

I need help rescuing her.

- I'm kind of busy right now.

- Jeepers, it'll only take a minute.

- Yeah, uh, I'd love to help,

but I really got to go.

Ouch.

Well, I'm going to go save Sandy

whether anyone wants to help or not.

I guess it's just you and me, Gary.

Let's go.

Gary the snail,

did you plan on staying here while Sandy is possibly

in trouble somewhere up there?

- She's the squirrel.

No, brown.

Gary, what does that have to do--

you too, huh?

Well, we'll see about that.

Eh, pudding.

Eh, pudding.

- Good morning.

- Spongebob, what's the meaning of this?

- Sandy's in trouble, and I need all of your help

to save her from the horrors of the rodeo.

There are clowns there!

- Spongebob, the next time you "invite" me

to one of your slumber parties,

I'm calling the cops.

What the--

Spongebob!

- Yes, Squidward?

- I am disgruntled.

- Where in the devil are we?

- It's...texas.

- What's that, boy? You see Sandy?

- And she's... riding a bullfrog?

- Yee-haw!

- Ahoy, Sandy!

Gall darn it!

You city slickers made me lose the rodeo.

Why are you here, anyways?

- To help save you from this rodeo thing.

- I don't need to be saved.

Watch out!

That old bullfrog's got a flea on its flanks,

and he's coming right at ya!

- Did we save Sandy?

- No, Patrick, we didn't.

- Did we make any money?

- Aw, cactus.

That ol' bullfrog's got Spongebob.

Hang on, old buddy.

Next time, leave the rodeos to me.

- Aw, nuts.