07x13 - Gramma's Secret Recipe/The Cent of Money

Episode transcripts for the TV show "SpongeBob SquarePants". Aired: May 1, 1999 - present.*
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A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
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07x13 - Gramma's Secret Recipe/The Cent of Money

Post by bunniefuu »

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Creak!

Thump!

Clank!

Thump!

Clank!

- Stop...playing...

In my yard!

- Ohh, we're not playing in your yard, Squidward.

We're playing in ouryards.

We're just using your yard as a walkway.

- No offense, but your yard gargles tartar sauce.

- Well, pick one,

and leave myyard out of it!

I'm good at choosing!

Hummm...

Let's play...In...

Spongebob's yard!

No, Patrick's! No, Spongebob's!

I'm terrible at choosing.

Squidward, you choose.

- I choose Patrick...

To play in Patrick's yard...

And Spongebob...

In Spongebob's yard...

And nobody...

In here!

- Spongebob!

- Patrick!

- Spongebob!

- Patrick!

- Spongebob!

- Patrick!

The road!

Patrick, what are we gonna do?

- I'll mail myself to your house.

Fwoomp!

- Sit tight, Patrick. I'm coming to get you.

- Hey, Spongebob.

- Hey, Patrick.

Patrick, call me.

- Okay!

- Squarepants residence.

- What are we gonna do?

- Hmm...have we ever dug a tunnel between our two houses?

- No.

- Spongebob? - Patrick?

We did it!

- Tag. You're it.

Tag. You're it!

- Tag. You're it.

- Tag. You're it!

- Peekaboo! I see you.

- You're it. - You're it!

Must...block...out...noise.

Splat!

- Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- I Don't know.

I thought I told you two to stay off my...

Yard.

Patrick.

Patrick, would you shut--

where is he?

Spongebob.

Spongebob!

Spongebob, I am trying to...

Sleep?

- Wahoo!

- Aha!

Hey, Gary.

- Where are those two morons?

Where...are...they?

Doink!

Ooh!

Patrick, check out those roots.

- They're dancing.

- Do like the roots do,

and do the dirt dance, baby!

Boing! Boing!

Thunk! Thunk!

Boing! Boing!

Thunk! Thunk!

Boing! Boing! Boing!

- Squidward's house wants to play too.

- My house.

- Aw, Squidward's house

sounds like it has an upset tummy.

- Must have been something that it ate.

- It ate Squidward.

- That'd do it.

I knew you two reprobates were behind this.

- Yeah! We're reprobates!

- That was an insult.

- And we're insulted!

- Why were you digging under my yard?

- You told us not to walk on your yard,

so we walked under it.

- But you buried my house!

- No need to thank us.

- Thank you?

- You're welcome.

- Missed.

- Somebody wants to play tag.

- Tag! You're it!

- Not it!

- Wheeee!

Crash!

- Squidward wins!

- Now...you're going to play a new game

called "digging out my house."

- Oh, boy!

- And i'm gonna play "sit and relax"

until you're finished.

Barnacle brains.

Splat!

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!

Spongebob!

- Hi, Squidward.

- Yuh-oh.

- I'm warning you,

if you Don't put my house back where it belongs

by the count of three...

Three.

I am gonna grind you into chum!

One...

He's counting!

Anything but counting!

Quick, Spongebob!

Dig for your life!

- Two...

- He's already at number two.

Who knows how many numbers we have until he reaches three?

- Three!

Thump!

Shoomp!

Shoomp!

- Ahh, scary, scary, scary!

- Scary, scary, scary, ahh!

Fwoomp!

- Yes!

Now the chum bucket is the only restaurant in town.

Fwoomp!

Nuts.

- No!

Must...dig.

Whoa!

The rock's too hard.

You...two...morons

sunk my house!

We're sorry!

- I'm gonna...

Fwoomp!

Good morning, Squidward.

Another bee-eautiful day under bikini bottom.

- I hate neighbors.

- Hi-ya!

Hi-ya! Ya!

Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!

Ya! Ta-da!

A gift in your likeness.

- 'cause you're so sweet.

Get it?

'cause pineapples are sweet,

and you are sweet also as well.

Get it?

- Hey, buddy.

You still got that bucket of cheese?

- Oh, no. He's...Not right!

Don't worry, pal. I'll help you.

Smack!

- Buddy! You okay?

Patrick, thank you so much.

If it wasn't for your tremendous gorilla strength,

I would've been a goner.

If there's anything I can do to return the favor--

anything at all--

you just let me know.

Anyway, back to my karate exercises.

Oh, and help yourself to the cheese bucket.

Thanks again, buddy!

Hi-ya!

Hi-ya!

- Hi-ya!

Hey!

I want to learn how to do that.

- Well, what? You mean karate?

- Oh, Patrick, Patrick,

Patrick, my dear, dear friend,

karate is a delicate art, a skill that takes years to--

- if I recall correctly,

I seem to remember saving your life a few minutes ago.

- Y-yeah, however--

- and I also remember you saying

if there's anything you can do to return the favor--

anything at all--

to let you know.

- Oh, I did say that, Patrick,

but, well, karate is about finesse,

not so much brute strength.

You see, there's so much you Don't know.

You have not even scratched the surface of the surface.

- Then teach me.

- As you wish.

Just remember one thing.

With power comes responsibility.

- Oh, yeah, mama!

- Okay, let's start off simple.

This is a basic move called the inverted whirlpool.

- Invertee whirpee, got it.

Whoo-hoo!

That was awesome!

- Think you can handle that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Hey!

How do you stop this thing?

- Neptune's trousers, what's that?

- Whoa-whoa.

- Now, this is very easy. Watch closely.

Ting!

You got it? - Definitely.

Ting!


Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Splat!

- Patrick, I didn't want to have to say this,

but you're-- you're unteachable.

- What? I-i-i...

Barnacles!

- Look what you did to this wall of cinder blocks.

In all my years of training, i've never seen a perfect slice.

No one's ever been able to execute

such a clean karate chop through solid cinder.

- Wow!

- You're a natural,

a karate genius.

- Plammo!

- Now let's put your new skills to the test.

This is sharpened tempered steel.

Now, Don't be frustrated if it takes a few tri--

whoa.

Amazing!

This is an abandoned wrought iron steamboat,

solid as a rock.

Think you got what it takes?

Thwap!

Eh, better luck next time.

- Yeah!

I bet I could chop anything.

- Hiii...

- Nooooo!

What did I tell you?

- I'm a genius?

- Not that, this.

With power comes responsibility.

That means no chopping of other life-forms

or their property.

You understand?

- Yyyes! - Good!

Oh, man, i'm late for work.

See you later, buddy.

Don't forget what I said.

- Okay!

I'm a genius!

Karate power!

Gulp!

- Oh, what's this?

Hmm, haven't seen this before.

Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.

- Hey, look, it's Patrick!

- Hiya, Spongebob.

- What are you doing--

- hi-ya!

- Dear Neptune!

- Good day, gents.

Uh, Squidward, I would like a...Hi-ya!

- A what?

- I said one krusty combo.

Don't you speak karate?

Hrmm...

- Hi-ya!

Looks delish!

- Patrick, Don't you think you're taking

your perfect slice a bit too far?

- I Don't know what you're talking about.

You were the one who called me a karate gen-i-us.

And frankly, i'm offended by your previous accusation.

I Don't need this!

I bid you good-dieu.

- But--but--but--

- no buts! Just hands.

Hi-ya!

You do realize i'm taking that out of your paycheck.

And...uh...

Seaweed surprise!

Also, uh...

Malted coral crunch!

Ooh-ooh-ooh!

Also, lipids and cream.

- We're all out.

In fact, we're out of everything,

which means you owe us $ . .

- What do you say to a trade?

- I say pay up before I call the cops.

- You dare refuse my barter?

Then accept my chop!

Hi-ya!

Splat!

I Don't feel so good.

- Aha! Hand in the tip jar again, eh?

What is that wonderful stench?

- What you got there?

- Spinach and chocolate spaghetti

in calamari sauce.

Do you want a bite?

- No!

It's more fun to chop.

I win! I win! I win!

Hi-ya! Hi-ya!

- Help! Help!

There's a mad chopper on the loose!

- Mad chopper?

Patrick.

- We need the cops, kid.

- Cops? No, that won't be necessary.

I'll handle this, citizen.

- Don't do it, kid.

- Unhand my ankle, sir.

My friend needs me.

- You Don't know what you're doing.

Don't walk out that door!

Noooooooooooo!

Smash!

- Patrick, what are you doing?

- Spongebob.

Just the man I was looking for.

Wanted to thank you, buddy.

- For teaching me the karate chop, silly.

- You've got to stop, buddy.

You're destroying the entire town.

- Whooooaaaa.

- Just stop chopping, okay, Patrick?

- You got it, buddy.

No more karate chops.

- You're still chopping!

- I know.

Weird, huh?

- Patrick, stop it!

- Oh, okay.

I know. I'll stop a chop with a chop.

Smack!

- You must resist!

- I...

Wait up, Patrick!

Triton's tunic!

- He's headed straight for the barg'n-mart!

- Hi-ya! Hi-ya! Ya!

No...not the muffin display.

A madman is chopping everything.

- Not the giant-screen tvs!

Oh, no!

- The suspect is considered fat, pink, and dangerous.

- Oh, no! Gianter tvs!

Hi-ya!

- Pull it together, buddy.

- I'm trying to, but this thing has a mind of its ooooown.

- Whoa! Oh.

- Yeee-ah!

Hi-ya! Hi-ya! Ya!

Crash!

Spongebob? Spongebob?

Spongebob?

Spongebo--

Spongebob!

Oh, no!

I-i'm so sorry.

My best friend,

crushed by all this rubble,

entombed in this cheap plastic bag.

- That isn't your friend, you kelp for brains.

Those are cleaning sponges.

- So I haven't crushed the life

out of my best friend in the world?

- Um, I wouldn't say that.

- Spongebob!

Oh, no!

I'll never forgive myself!

No! I'll never forgive you!

Pop!

Splurt!

- Oh, hi, Patrick. What did I miss?

- Spongebob, you're okay!

- Patrick! Your arm!

- Don't worry, Spongebob.

I'm a sea star.

My limbs grow back.

See?

- Hooray for regeneration!

- And in the spirit of healing,

I vow to use my hands only to join things together,

starting here.

- Hey, great job, Patrick.

I like the architectural detail.

- Hi-ya!

- Patrick!

I thought you gave up chopping.

- I did.

Unfortunately, we sea stars have limbs that grow new bodies.

- Hi-ya!
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