11x10 - Cuddle E. Hugs/Pat the Horse

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Ah, I don't know what I love more, Squidward,

feeding people Krabby Patties during the day,

or cleaning up their mess at night.

Are you kidding me?

Look at all this garbage

those animals left behind.

Hm. - One man's garbage...

So much gum!

Ooh, this is gonna be fun.

Ooh-wah!

Hey, watch it...

Ah! Urchin!

- That's no urchin, it's a Krabby Patty.

- Yuck. A rotten Krabby Patty.

- Wait, Squidward!

You can't throw out a Krabby Patty.

That is just wrong. - But this one is rotten.

Oh, simple Squidward...

- No Krabby Patty can ever truly be rotten.

Here, look...

- Oh, that looks delicious.

Why don't you take another bite?

- No thanks.

Uh, it's so delicious, I think I'll save the rest for later.

No, Patty, you stay where you are.

- Are you doing all right there, friend?

- Oh, I...I'm all right.

Yoo-hoo! What are you?

- Why, I'm your new best friend.

You can call me Cuddle E. Hugs.

- New best friend? I like the sound of that.

- Then bring it in for the real deal!

- Whee!

That's what I call a hug.

Of course it is!

Hugs is my last name, after all.

- So tender. - I try.

But enough of this. How about you show

your new best friend around town?

- You got it, Cuddle E. Hugs.

Wow!

Wow!

- Meow. Huh?

- What a great night!

- Meow? - Oh, hey, Gary.

Say hello to my new best friend, Cuddle E. Hugs.

- A pleasure. - Meow?

- Come on, Gary. Bed time. - Meow!

- Mm! Ooh! - Here's my room!

You can take the bed, if you want.

- Nonsense. We can share it!

Looks like your friend Cuddle E. Hugs

needs to lay off the snacks.

But no need to worry, Spongebob,

I got your new bed right here. - Ha! Ha!

Whoo-hoo! Hooray!

You are the absolute best at snuggles.

- I didn't get the first name Cuddle for nothing.

How'd you sleep, Cuddle E.?

Oh, good morning, Gary.

Hey, have you seen Cuddle E. Hugs anywhere?

- Meow? - Where could he have gone?

Aw, what if I never see him again

or feel his furry embrace?

Maybe a bite of Krabby Patty will make me feel better.

Meow...

I don't feel so good.

I must miss Cuddle more than I thought.

- And I miss you. - You're still here.

- Of course I am. - Yee-hee!

Aw. Wow!

That kiss was even more tender than the first one.

- I've been practicing.

It's our ability to give tender head kisses

that separates us from the lower life forms, Spongebob.

- Did you hear that, Gary? Come here.

- So, best friend, what should we do today?

- You should meet my other friends.

They are gonna love you.

- I already love them!

Meow...

- Oh...ooh, there's my buddy, Squidward!

You're gonna love him.

He's funny and nice and very polite.

Hey, Squidward!

Hi!

I said hey, Squidward!

- Please get out of my way, and stop talking to me.

- See, Cuddle E., he said please.

I told you he was polite.

- Who are you talking to?

- My new best friend. Wanted you to meet him.

- I don't have time for your stupid games.

Now move it!

Sorry about that.

I...I don't know what's gotten into him today.

- No need to be sorry, Spongebob.

I'm your best friend!

- Aw, your furry tummy feels like home.

- Hey, Spongebob, why are you hugging the air?

- Hey, Patrick, I'm not hugging the air.

I'm hugging Cuddle E. Hugs.

Are you playing some kind of trick on me?

There's no one there.

- Course there's someone here. He's my new best friend.

But I'm your best friend.

- Oh, yes, you are, but so is Cuddle E. Hugs,

and I have enough love in my heart for both of you.

- No!

I want all your love!

Give me it!

Spongebob's my best friend!

Mine!

Give me his love!

No! No, no!

- What's up with Patrick?

He looks madder than a rattlesnake

in a room full of rocking chairs.

- I just tried to introduce him to my friend, Cuddle E. Hugs,

and he went crazy!

In fact, everyone's acting weird.

They're all pretending they can't see him.

- Well, where is this new friend of yours?

- Oh, not you too, Sandy!

He's standing right there!

Well, I'm sorry, Spongebob, but I don't see anyone.

- He's the giant hamster, right there!

- Oh, I get it.

He's your imaginary friend.

- But he's not imaginary. He's real!

- Oh, no need to get so fiery, Spongebob.

It's okay to have an imaginary friend.

Lots of people do.

You two have fun now, ya hear?

- What is going on around here?

I was so excited to introduce you to my friends,

but now they're all acting strange.

- I hate to see ya so upset, Spongebob.

But take heart.

There's a reason your friends can't see me.

- There is? - Of course!

Unlike you, they never ate the magic sandwich.

- Magic sandwich? What magic sandwich?

- Why, the one that's as fuzzy as me, of course.

- You mean the moldy Krabby Patty I found at work?

- You say moldy Krabby Patty,

I say magic sandwich.

Maybe I should share my magic sandwich with my friends.

That way, they can see you, and see how awesome you are!

- Yes! Let them witness my fuzzy tummy.

Tummy...

- Tummy, tummy, tummy, tummy, tummy.

There! Enough for everyone.

- Excellent, Spongebob.

Okay, let's go.

Aged Krabby Patties here!

Get your artisanal aged Krabby Patties here!

Did I mention they were free?

- Do you see him, Patrick?

Do you see Cuddle E. Hugs?

Yes!

Oh, he's glorious!

- Yeah, his fur looks silkier than actual silk.

- Yes, make them all see me, Spongebob!

Make them all see, Cuddle E. Hugs.

- Spongebob, what are you doing giving away free food?

Are you cra...

I can't resist the fuzzy.

Come, everyone,

and hug your new best friend!

- No, Cuddle E. Hugs, no!

- Yes, Spongebob Squarepants, yes!

- Sorry, I'm late, I...

Um... back to bed.

I thought we were friends!

What happened?

Well, your friend ate me is what happened.

Not cool!

Yeah, grumble!

- Sorry, everyone.

- You need to imagine your friends

more carefully, Spongebob.

- I just don't get it.

Why did he act like that last night?

I thought we were BFFs.

I need to talk to him.

- Crazy time last night, right, bro?

- Don't "bro" me, Cuddle E. Hugs.

You embarrassed me last night, and you ate all my friends!

Why would you do that?

- Didn't you ever wonder

what the E in my name stands for?

It's Eat!

I'm always hungry, ya know?

Well, why didn't you say so?

Here, have the last of my Patty.

Wait, no! No!

What?

Oh, pellets.

- Okay, Patrick, one more book,

then you go to sleep, kay? - Kay.

- This one is called "You Can Be Anything."

I can be anything?

- Oh, you sure can, pal. Take a look.

You can be a firefighter...

- You can be a doctor...

- You can be a cowboy.

- That's what I want to be!

- Cowboy. Great choice.

- No, no, no, no, no!

That. - A horse?

Buddy, I don't think you want to be a horse.

- You said I can be anything,

and...and I want to be a horse!

- Sure, sure, you can be a horse.

- Nighty-night, Patrick.

- A horse.

A horse.

- Not yet, Gary. Give me a few more minutes.

What? Uh, Gary?

- Meow.

- Oh, horsey!

Patrick, you were right! You can be a horse.

Easy there, big fella.

Easy...

Ha!

That's a good horsey.

Hmm, "horsey." That's not right.

You need a name!

I think I'll call you...

Patrick!

Whoa!

Ride 'em, cowboy!

Uh, bucking bronco.

- Rodeo clown.

- Safety first.

Giddy up, Patrick.

Looking good, Ms. Sandy. - Thank you.

And the horse you rode in on?

- Morning, old timer.

- Can we pet him, mister?

- Sure, but be gentle.

- He's so soft.

- What's all the hubbub out here?

What the...

So Patrick's a horse now?

Ha-ha!

Your phony baloney pony's

more like an old gray mare.

Sorry to say, but, uh,

this one's ready for the glue factory.

- What kind of hub...

What are you doing violating me personal space?

- Aw... - He's really fuzzy.

Horsey rides!

Kids love horseys.

Great idea having Patrick play pony.

I'll charge these kids ten bucks a ride

and cash in big time!

- Oh, I don't know, Mister Krabs,

I think Patrick will only let me ride him.

- Oh, nonsense.

Pony rides! Ten buckaroos!

Giddy up, Patrick. Giddy up.

- Now, I don't mean to nag,

so don't bridle when I say this,

but your dream horse is more like a nightmare!

Get it?

Night? Mare? Ha-ha!

- Oh, yeah, now you're feeling your oats.

Ha-ha! I'm so good.

Four at a time

quadruplicates me money.

Let's try for five.

Uh-oh. Ooh.

Oh! Ooh.

My wittle weg!

Yay!

All right, next up.

My other wittle weg!

Horsey Patrick, come back!

- That's me money running away! Come back!

- Oh, yes. Oh, yes, come back.

I said, "Whoa, horsey Patrick."

Look at me, I'm a horse.

Clopity, clopity, clopity.

Clopity, clopity, clopity.

- Patrick.

Patrick...

Patrick.

Patrick!

Patrick?

Hey, it's okay, boy.

It's me...

- Your old pal, Spongebob.

Remember?

- Okay...

Would you like me to whisper?

- Nice Patrick. Pretty Patrick.

Good Patrick.

- Calm down, buddy.

I don't want to lose you again.

Whoa! Ow! Ow!

- Aw. And all this time,

I thought I was the one breaking you,

but you were the one breaking me.

Patrick horsey, giddy up!

- What?

- Oh, this is humiliating. - Quiet.

Horseys don't talk.

Okay, kids, ten bucks a ride!

Who's next? - Me!

Get moving, horse!

- Ow! Cut it out.

Ride's over. Who's next?

Wow, Mister Krabs.

How'd you get Squidward to give rides?

Says right here in his contract.

"I can work him like a horse."

- Hey, get your mule away from my show pony.

This here's a Thoroughbred.

Look at that flank.

Get a load of those hocks.

Not to mention that loin?

- Oh, yeah, I'm a real stud.

- Now look at your old pile of dog food.

- I'd put my pile of dog food

up against your stud any day.

- Oh, yeah? How 'bout a race, then?

First one to deliver a Krabby Patty

to Black Devil Bay wins.

- You're on!

- I want a clean race. No cheating!

Wait for the bell.

- Ha-ha! Eat me dust!

- Well, okay.

Mmm. Hey, your dust was delicious!

- This shortcut sign

should send Spongebob and Patrick

far from the finish line.

Hi-ho, Squidward!

- Whoa! Whoa, shortcut.

This could be a trick.

I love tricks!

Whoa, whoa!

Hyah!

Oh, boy, we're ahead!

- No, you're actually behind!

- Huh? Whoa, Patrick.

Whoa.

Have some slippery mustard, slowpokes.

- That was extra spicy slippery mustard!

- Oh, ratfish!

I've got one more trick up me sleeve.

- This is the police.

I'm pulling you over for speeding!

No, this is the police.

I'm pulling you over for impersonating an officer.

- Here's your delivery, sir.

- What?

I was hungry.

We win! We win!

- I...I had the best horsey! I had the best horsey!

- I don't want to be a horse anymore.

Okay, buddy, but remember,

you can still be anything.

- In that case,

I think I'll be...

a crab!

Ark, ark, ark, ark, ark, ark!

Oh, no, you don't!

Come back here with me claws!

How 'bout a ride back

to the old Krusty Krab, cowboy?