13x03 - All I Wanna Do

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

(Metro rumbles)

♪♪

Tristan:
paris, maya.
We're in paris.

Maya:
the sights, the experiences,
the cuisine francaise.

Where do we even start?

Tristan:
(sighs) by finding
an amazing blazer...

And then, love.

Hey, think you can trick
a french girl

Into liking you, chewy?

Winston:
halfway around the world,

And still you insist
on calling me that?

Mme cliquet:
bienvenue a paris!

Je suis madame cliquet,
je suis la directrice.

Ici, a l'ecole jean d'alencon,
le matin is in french class.

L'apres-midi,
we do cultural immersion.

This city,
it's your classroom.

You go, have fun,
see the sights!

♪♪

Miles:
take a picture,
it'll last longer.

Uh, I was just thinking about-

Miles:
my abs?

My girlfriend.

You have a girlfriend?!

You don't?

Miles:
oh yeah, what's her name?

Uh, chris?
Jesse? Gene?

Tristan:
maya. Maya's my girlfriend.

Right, sweetbuns?

Maya:
oh, whatever you say,
honeybunch.

(Sighs)

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ (The best that I can be) ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ I know I can make it through ♪

So tomorrow we'll go
to the cemetery,

Or even today,
if we have time.

Jenna and connor:
agghhh!

Alli:
hah! Gotcha!

Alli, what is that for?

So we can take photos of clare
at all the paris landmarks.

We made a list
before I left.

Oh, how is clare doing
and her uh... Cancer?

She's doing good
the last time I checked.

She's a trooper,
that one.

I'm glad
I don't have cancer.

I'm just glad
clare's gonna be okay.

So where can I find
some cute boys?

Les deux magots cafe?

Uh, we have tickets
for the eiffel tower.

Oh, perfect,
I'll get one too.

It's gotta be on the list
somewhere.

Connor:
oh no, they're sold out.

We don't have to go.

Of course you do,
you already got your tickets!

You'll be okay?

Clare and I will find
someone else to hang out with.

Allez! Allez!

(Alli laughs)

(Sighs heavily)

Female announcer:
when you want the best...

(Engine revs)

(Sirens wail on television)

(Laugh track plays)

(Dramatic music plays)

Clare: wait, stop!
Eli: "west drive?!"

Really?

Well, there's nothing else on,

And this zoe girl
is in paris with alli.

I hear she's the worst!

Tell me the truth, doctor.
Am I gonna die?

(Monitor beeps)

(Muffled announcement over pa)

You know,
I have a better idea.

Let's play doctor.

(Eli laughs)

(Gasps)

(Sighs)

That's um...
That's my hair.

Yeah, it's okay.

Knock, knock!
It's time for group.

Okay,
I'll be back later,

Um, with a healthy
green smoothie!

Ooh, sounds delish!

(Students chatter)

Flowers for
my lovely girlfriend.

Oh, I also booked us
a romantic cruise...

On the seine.

Tris, we need to talk!

Tristan:
no, no, no,
no, no, no!

You are not breaking up
with me!

Maya:
we want different things!

Actually, we want
the same things:

Boys!

Boys!
Please, maya!

Please, maya!

I know I can make
this role work.

Tristan, I don't wanna be
your fake girlfriend all summer.

I'm sorry,
but what if I meet someone?

Tristan:
uh, you promised no boys,

And you also promised me
a perfect summer,

And that won't happen
if my roommates find out

That I like guys!

That's redonk!

Okay, well, you're not
a fifteen-year-old boy.

Because even if they're okay
with gay guys,

They're not okay with sharing
a room with one!

Or changing with one!

Or sharing a bathroom
with one!

Maya:
okay, okay, I get it!

But people are more
accepting these days.

Well, not those people!

No smooch for your girlfriend,
tris?

Winston:
muah! Muah!

Fine. You want me
to go with it?

Ew!

Ew!

Trouble in paradise?

(Winston laughs)

Asseyez-vous.
Le cours debutera a l'instant.

(Sighs)

(Car rumbles)

(Muffled conversation)

Marielle:
clare!

Come join us.

Welcome all.

Today we talk about
how you can help your body

Fight cancer
with guided imagery.

Yay! No more chemo for me!

Marielle:
oh! These mental exercises
are meant to complement

Your medical regime, paula,
not replace it.

(Sighs) whoa!

Somebody could use
some medical marijuana.

Not even a little smile?

Sorry.

I was just...
Having a weird day.

You're new;
you've got hair.

Not for long.

Some fell out

While I was making out
with my boyfriend.

(Laughs)

Shave it off now,

It's the only way
you have control.

No, I could never!

Because you're worried
your boyfriend

Will break up with you?

Eli would never
do that.

Eli would never
do that.
Mine did.

Mine did.

He said he wanted
a girlfriend,

Not a patient.

I don't blame him.

I'm sick of hospitals too.

Marielle:
what can you expect?

Well, your therapist will talk
your imagination through...

Eli said he was all in.

He quit his summer job
to take care of me.

My guy said
he was all in too.

He just had no idea
what he was in for.

All:
ohh!

You have to!
Next girl you see!

So who's up
for an adventure?

Voulez-vous couchez
avec moi?

(Girls laugh)

Seriously?!

I can't believe
you actually said it!

She dared me!

Alli:
ugh! You guys have got
to get out more.

Winston:
we are, we're going for burgers
and fries.

Alli:
you're kidding.

You're in paris,
don't you want parisian food?

Winston:
I wanna see if there's something
different in france!

We're also going shopping.

Ooh, like hermes?
Dior?

H & m.

Okay, I guess I could go
to h & m.

Um, don't you have
your own friends?

Like people your own age?

Duh!

Okay, well, go on,
have fun.

(Group snickers and whispers)

(Sighs heavily)

Looks like it's just
you and me, edwards.

Torres delivery,
at your service!

You came!

Twinkly lights
and a fun movie!

"Die hard."

"Die hard?"
That's what you picked?

Oh! Uh, jeez,
I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

All that matters
is eli doesn't see me

As a cancer patient
tonight.

Right, eli's email
said to treat you

Like everything's normal.

What email?

The one I wasn't supposed
to tell you about.

"Six tips
for visiting clare:

Wash your hands,
don't overstay,

Bring jokes,
let her rest.

Avoid "west drive."

Don't mention her hair.

Don't mention this email."

Eli sent you this?

Eli:
one smoothie
for miss edwards,

Filled with the cancer-fighting
anti-oxidant power of green tea.

Uh-oh!
What'd I do?

You're telling people
how to act around me now?!

You told her
about the email?

She forced it
out of me.

Eli:
look, I was just
trying to help!

By telling everyone to treat me
like a cancer patient!

You are a cancer patient!

I don't want to be!

(Sharp gasp)
awesome.

Okay, look,
I brought you some clippers.

I've heard
that shaving your head

Can help you feel
more in control.

I am in control!

Right.

Actually, I'm...
Feeling kinda tired.

Maybe you can come back later.

Sure thing.

Let's go catch up.

♪♪

(Clippers buzz)

Drew:
oh, uh, sorry.
We must have the wrong room.

Adam?

Agh!

What do you think?

It's um...

Well, i-i mean,
it's uh...

Very different.

That's... Yeah, it- that.

Your hair will grow back,
right?

When I'm done chemo.

Then you should
get some hats!

Or one of those
kerchief things.

Or I could stay in this room
and never leave!

I don't want eli
to see me like this!

He doesn't have to.

What, are you going to grow me
a new head of hair?

No, I'm gonna call
for reinforcements.

♪♪

You, uh, making a fort?

Or is this a love den
to make out

With your girlfriend?

Hilarious.
Make fun of the gay kid.

Tris...
That's not what I meant.

Tristan:
yeah, no, I get it,

And I already asked
to switch rooms,

But cliquet won't let me.

Hence the privacy screen,

So no one has
to feel uncomfortable.

Cool? Cool!

We were just joking around.

Tristan:
well, it's not joking,
it's bullying!

And I know it gets better,

But for now
let's just avoid each other,

And hope the summer
passes quickly.

(Alli sighs)

(Sighs heavily)

Excuse me?

Hi, I've been lost all day,
and I was just wondering-

Pardon?

Of course,
you don't speak english.

Non.

Ou est le cafe
deux magots?

Bien sur,
vous voulez y aller.

C'est comme un haut lieu
touristique.

Et bon,
le cafe est au coin

De saint-germain
et bonaparte.

Vous prenez le metro,

Et allez a la place
saint-germain.

Bonne chance!

Well, I pretty much
got none of that.

(Sighs)

Oh!

Ugh!

Seriously?!

(Groans)

And that concludes
my touring for the day!

Oh! Yeah,
I know I'm in paris,

But the way my luck
is going,

I wouldn't be able
to find the eiffel tower!

(Groans)

(Laughs) you have got
to be kidding me,

It's beautiful!

How did I miss that?

Don't give me that look.

(Laughs)

(Monitors beep)

Clare:
how about this one?

Mmm...

It's very...
Femme fatale!

Uh, it's not terrible.

(All laugh)

Clare:
please don't lie to me
just because I have cancer.

Imogen:
but in eli's email,
it said-

Adam:
uh, ix-nay on the email-may!

You know, why bother?

I'm just gonna look
sicker and sicker.

It's a matter of time
before eli dumps me.

Imogen:
okay, hold your hooves!

I may have
the perfect thing.

Ta-da!

(Sirens wail distantly)

Tristan:
a mint on the pillow?

Uh, is this some kind
of prank?

Nope. No prank.

I took the sheet down
'cause you don't need it.

So I'm not even allowed
in my own room now?

Hey, do I scream h*m*
or something?

You and winston
were laughing at me.

We were laughing because
you were playing straight

And we knew you were gay.

Look, I'm happy
you're my roommate.

Seriously?

Okay, I could hug you
right now.

But I won't.

So I really didn't
pull off straight?

(Laughs) nope.

But, uh, it's cool,
all right?

Bring it in,
come on.

We are gonna have
an awesome summer.

Tristan:
yeah.

Awesome!

(Laughs to himself)

(Sighs)

(Carousel music plays)

It's so majestic!
I love paris!

(Shutter snaps)

Um, excuse me?

Voulez-vous...
Take a photo?

(Laughs)

Hey, thief!
Stop!

Someone help me!

Thief:
oof!

(Grunts)

Tu va bien?

(Sighs)

Are you okay?

♪♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ Everyone's laughing ♪

♪ Crank your tunes
we want it real loud ♪

♪ (Turn it up already) ♪

♪ Now this place is pounding ♪

♪ Got our hands... ♪

(Knocking)

♪ We know! We know!
We know this is our time ♪

♪ Let's go...♪

Clare:
come in.

(Laughs)

Va-va-voom!

Clare:
sorry, I was expecting
my boyfriend.

I'll get outta here.
Uh, I was looking for your mom.

Clare:
oh, well,
I gave her the night off.

But should I pass
on a message?

I'm seventeen!

Marielle:
I need her to fill out
this pre-mri questionnaire.

Mri?

Magnetic resonance imaging.

I-i know what it stands for.
Why am I having one?

Something came up
in your bloodwork

That the doctors
wanna check out.

They wanna see
if the cancer's spread!

Eli:
(knocking)
knock, knock!

Uh, just a second!

Um, can I fill it out

And give it to you
in the morning?

Yeah.

Have fun,
but not too much fun!

Come in!

Whoa!

I look silly,
don't i?

Eli:
again, whoa!

(Chuckles)

(Diners chatter quietly)

Mademoiselle.

Or is it madame?

Madame! Hah!
How old do you think I am?

(Laughs)

Coffee will make
everything better.

Ugh! Gross!

You know what?
I give up!

Obviously coming here
was a bad idea.

Paris and I do not agree.

Even the coffee hates me!

Leo:
pretty big reaction
to petit noir.

It's not just the "petit noir,"
it's everything!

I almost got mugged!

Leo:
that's not paris' fault.

You hand your camera
to a complete stranger,

You'll get mugged anywhere.

Alli:
yeah, but I got mugged here,
in paris,

Where the grate
broke my heel

And everyone speaks a language
that I can barely understand!

I don't think paris
is the problem.

Excuse me?

I'm just saying.

You are in a completely
different country.

You just have to learn
the ropes.

Would you skydive
without instruction?

(Scoffs)

Rule number one,

You always put sugar
in your coffee.

Try it.

Okay,
that is really good.

See?
Paris is not so bad.

Yeah, only when you're here
to explain it.

We, if you need a guide,
I work here.

Come by anytime.

Do I just ask for the guy
that saves strangers' phones?

You ask for leo.

♪♪

(Laughs)

♪ This is my own capture,
my... ♪

♪ My conscience and my truth ♪

Can I just say
how much I love the wig?

You know,
we don't have to.

I want to.

I want everything
to be perfect,

But it's not.

I'm sick, eli.

I know.

Maybe... Really, really sick.

The doctors wanna do
an mri tomorrow.

Eli:
did they tell you why?

Clare:
looking for a tumor,
I think.

I thought I could do this.

I thought it would be easy,

But it's hard,

And it's only gonna
get worse.

So if you want out,
just please tell me now,

'Cause i-

'Cause i-
clare!

Clare!

(Both sigh)

I know that
you're a cancer patient.

But you're also clare edwards,

My smart
and beautiful girlfriend.

You're only saying that
because of the wig.

(Snorts)

♪ Stay around this time ♪
(stay around, around)

♪ 'Cause I'm yours to keep
if you want ♪