02x14 - One Million Bucks B.C.

[bunniefuu]

last time on Total Drama Action

when Owens job was unwired it unleashed

a hunger like no other

Owen stop stuffing his face when he and

leshawna were snatched and stuffed into

safes the grips managed to free Owen

with the aroma of sweet chicken still

mad at leshawna the gaffers decided to

let her rot in herself quite possibly

for ever

tough guy Duncan got the fright of his

life when he was based with none other

than Courtney who thanks to her pitbulls

I mean lawyers is back in the running

the grips lost and due to a small

technicality Owen took the limousine to

the nearest drive-thru with only eight

contestants left

maybe one of them will stand a chance on

another uninspiring episode of Total

Drama

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your mommy dad I'm doing fine

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asked me what I wanted to be in

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41 and

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what about Harlan Oh Tyson Tyler girls

all lawyered up

I oughta try it get me the big bucks for

being locked up in that safe all day you

stole my spot a do the crime do the time

wasn't your spa day besides I could have

stormed in there people I seriously

doubt that and what is it you planned on

doing it that's file without wash and go

hair let me it tells me that Lindsay it

has all that hair on her head when it's

her fault that I lost mine I would have

chopped it off but all I had was a

hairbrush into the back of my head not a

bad idea

with Courtney on your team you better

watch your back she's so bossy and it's

not like we needed another know-it-all

on the show oh really

oh I was talking about me now that bossy

makes smarty pants is back no one's ever

gonna listen to me ever again sorry did

you say something honey I have God have

kept me some hair not leshawna's gross

weave or Beth's pathetic ponytail and

I'm Way too smart to be Lindsay blonde

but Courtney's hers would be perfect I'm

just gonna borrow these okay dude how

can you spend so much time on your walk

my agent hay-zu says is my best feature

along with my neck nose chin cheekbones

earlobes eyebrows

you know who's got nice hair Courtney I

mean not that I've ever noticed or maybe

it's my eyes I mean I did notice back

when I cared but not now

you drop your soap dweeb

nice try Duncan just cuz I'm blind

without my glasses doesn't mean I'm

stupid I'm comfortable in my own skin

just keep your skin to yourself dweeb

isn't anyone glad to see me great to

have your hair here here it's great to

have you here Courtney talk about your

fashion faux-pas

is that boy wearing a loincloth like it

it hurts a lot you think that hurts

wait till you hear today's challenges

yeah let's get started as soon as I take

care of a few formalities

thanks to Courtney's lawsuit she'll be

playing by a different set of rules you

said there are no rules there are when

you have a good lawyer chef let's get

this over with

rule one notwithstanding that

contestants are not permitted contact

with the outside world the contestants

hereafter referred to as Courtney may

retain a personal digital assistant aka

her PDA with the boyfriend care to take

that up with their legal department bath

huh

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didn't think so rule 2 whereas

contestants shall continue to receive

allocated meals provided by chef hatchet

court a shall be entitled to a gourmet

dining experience with parties

consisting of producers and myself as

applicable I hope you like Lobster No

let's see your lawyers get you out of

this one I'm still sleeping in the girls

trailer where she will have a pure goose

down pillow extra lofty comforter and a

700 thread-count sheets oh those are the

new rules let's call them

Courtney's rules in honor of Courtney

who gets special treatment and an unfair

advantage

nice hour spoiled princess didn't waste

any time hooking herself up and you

didn't waste any time

hooking up with when after I left while

I'm touched you're obviously still hot

for me my relationships that are none of

your business you're on TV

they're everyone's business well then

the whole world knows that at least I

play by the rules most of the time what

don't think you can win the million

bucks fair and square

I could kick your two-timing butt with

my eyes closed and both hands tied

behind my back gonna be pretty tough to

eat lobster like that well I'm loving

this show of hostility

I think today's challenges will help

bring out your more primal instincts

today's genre the period movie oh I love

period movies all the pretty petticoats

and dresses with puff sleeves do we get

wigs chef do we have a wig

Oh smells like raw meat that's because

our period is the Paleolithic period

which I thought you dum-dums might have

guessed from my loincloth hey Leo

lipstick is that a new brand

it's the Stone Age we're going to be

cave girls no talking cave people

grunting look confused

which means for once you're all

perfectly cast as much as I want hair I

am NOT putting that sick thing on my

head no problem

you look pretty Savage anyway wait okay

cave people and prehistoric flicks do

two things make fire and use tools made

of bones technically you should also

know how to bring down a mammoth with a

stick but since Owens no longer here no

mammoths no challenge here are your

costumes

get into character people you've got to

be kidding I never kid haha actually I

do but never about something this funny

you look perfect Duncan you're already a

total neanderthal

hello caste nice to see you all decked

out for the competition and might I say

you all look free hysterical who knew

I'd look so hot and leopard skin oh I

think mine still have a claw

please note no animals were harmed in

the making of this television program

okay we got chef the tools for the first

Stone Age challenge please here's your

rocks rocks aren't we taking this Stone

Age thing a little too literally

shows how much you know Duncan rocks are

an awesome resource Inuit hunters use

them to build the nut sh*ts plus they

make a great paperweight oh that hurt

what do you know rocks are useful first

team to collect a hidden firewood and

use the Flint stones to make fire earn

something to help them with a second

challenge ready action

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hey hey easy there not a lot of fabric

here hand it over

Oh Priya stoic pond scum alright alright

it's after me

looks like harold found the wooden

beaver dam on the set of rodents and

rodents who k*lled part two

those k*ller beavers are animatronic

right animatronic of course Duncan and I

have our differences for example whereas

I hate him he can't stand me but we're

guys and guys can put stuff like that

aside for the sake of the team we can

also be standing up way to get the wood

teammate rock paper scissors

give me those where do you think she

knows everything

but she doesn't know that when I was 12

my flat iron once accidentally set fire

to my grandma's house

twice oh is going in no time I was a CIT

you know oh she is not back on fat again

this is a camp it's a movie set she is a

total drama queen

why because I think you're a dog for

hooking up with Quinn I did not hook up

with when having Courtney back reminds

me how much she drives me crazy and how

much she drives me crazy I watched the

show I know what I saw between Duncan

and Wen's nothing gets past me I got

some Courtney's hair soon it will be

mine all mine but I'm not crazy I'm just

bald

things are finally heating up go Duncan

burner

I love it when sparks fly

I make fire Courtney I thought for sure

you'd be the first to burst into flames

gaffers win the first challenge you

obviously gave me fake Flint's nobody

could start a fire with these ridiculous

prog yep still loving this crazy thing

time for our second caveman movie

challenge but first chef will pass out

your rewards from this morning chef

weapons please excuse me our reward is

bones

hey for cave-people bones were

cutting-edge technology and they're not

your reward hey what gives

we won the challenge I made fire

actually you didn't we reviewed the

footage caught on camera and you made

fire with a lighter which is not a

stone-age tool which means Lindsay made

fire first the grips are the winners

well don't get I play by the rules cheat

big surprise I've got many more for you

sweetheart

the props Department for caveman movies

are bare bones which means these are all

actors have to fight their on-screen

enemies with and who might these enemies

be each other of course

rip tribe versus gapper tribe cool we

have to fight each other with bones

I like your enthusiasm Courtney only

you'll be fighting over there

each player that knocks his or her

opponent off the column into that fake

bubbling tar pit scores a point for

their team to the Tar Pits I'm supposed

to knock her off with this teensy-weensy

little bone how do we know when to start

oh don't worry you'll know

[Laughter]

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ha see now that was just way too easy

that's one point for the gaffer's are

you okay be sure to let me know next up

Beth and Heather looks like Lindsey's

blood-curdling screams have attracted a

swarm of prehistoric pterodactyls

this should make things interesting cool

special effects man high-five Oh totally

special effects

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they make us do a lot of horrible

humiliating things to each other on this

show

and I haven't been very good at most of

them but when I not Heather off her high

pedestal and made her fall into a pit of

bubbling tar well that was my high point

of the competition maybe my whole life

hey whose team are you on anyway yours

and hers but it's kind of lose win no

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that evens the score at one all for the

Crips and the gaffer's next up Justin

and Harold I'm gonna win the million but

that sh*t of me standing atop the stone

column is worth even more it's gonna be

an iconic image for the series hey

Lindsey was right about the tar my skin

does look even better

don't blow these real beavers I never

thought I'd say this but I'm scared of

beavers especially fake prehistoric

beavers just don't go and lose this

challenge for us beavers can't swim

through tar their teeth the size of

railway spikes you'll be ok baby don't

be a wimp the columns are plaster not

wood and beavers can't climb I guess my

knowledge of prehistoric beavers is a

little rusty

the w*r's awesome would have preferred

to see some beaver carnage but you can't

have everyday anyways that leaves the

teams tied and us with a grudge match

between Duncan and Courtney on the same

column

you just can't write this stuff don't

get too hyped Duncan won't last more

than two seconds

we're trying to make out with me oh

you're going to kiss it's like there

were two Courtney's up there the nut job

I wanted to knock into the tar pit and

the hottie in the fur bikini sure Duncan

has this primal animal magnetism but he

also makes me want to hit him where it

hurts

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I gotta check that out again well I'd

say the gaffer's had a better chance to

1 million BC BC before Kourtney

as for the grips they went today's

reward a mammoth sighs prehistoric

barbecue

don't worry the grips may have won

today's reward but we're not gonna let

the gaffer's go hungry

a pterodactyl egg should be enough for

four you do have fire maybe if you're

lucky the grips will throw you a bone

when they're done hahaha barbecue time

oops look on the bright side you still

have your bones you could use them to

hunt for dinner now that's gotta hurt

Erol I think the pterodactyl wants to

take back

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probably tastes like chicken speaking of

chicken tonight surf and turf shall we

listen how long for a soft-boiled

pterodactyl egg I'm guessing about three

hours

leshawna yes sweetie my hands feel oh

gee Duncan got what was coming to him

and so did I hmm

lobster and Belgian chocolate why do

they always go for the Kiwis I know

everyone wanted to see Heather cut off

Courtney's hair trust me

so did I but the girls got a kick-butt

lawyer can't harm a hair on her head see

you next time kiddies shame Chris time

Sam Chris jail Oh was it me

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[Applause]

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you