05x04 - Food Fright

[bunniefuu]

Chris:

Last time on

A very special episode

Of "total drama all-stars":

It was all about teamwork...

Or lack thereof.

Harsh, courtney.

(Chuckles)

Awesome, but harsh.

The challenge,

An epic leechball battle,

Brought out everyone's

Inner psycho.

Especially jo's,

Which is why she got flushed.

But it was an unexpected

Act of valor

That inspired

My brilliant switcheroo.

Now duncan's a hero,

Courtney's a villain,

And I'm a genius.

Oh, it is gonna get nasty!

Will the villains crush

The heroes' winning streak?

Find out now

On total... Drama... All-stars!

♪♪

♪ I wanna be,

I wanna be,

♪ I wanna be famous!

♪ I wanna be,

I wanna be,

♪ I wanna be famous!

(Whistling chorus)

(Camera shutter snaps)

(Thunder rumbles,

Rain patters)

(Raucous clattering outside)

Scott: wha-?

Scott and alejandro:

Aggghhhh!

(Poof,

Alejandro and scott cough)

Mmm-mmm!

I grew up on powdered gruel.

Rich people food

Has nothing on this stuff.

It's the saw dust

That makes it so tasty.

Pweh! Disgusting!

I bet the girls are not treated

This cruelly.

(Loud bang,

Girls scream)

Ewww!

I stand corrected.

I wish chef would pass

On the whole

"Bed and breakfast" thing

And let us starve instead.

It would be more humane.

(Courtney coughs,

Knock at the door)

Scott:

You gonna finish your gruel?

Courtney:

What?! No. Gross!

Help yourself.

Scott:

(Chomping)

You clean up real nice.

Hmm... Smelly, pit stainy...

But I definitely need an ally

Now that I'm stuck

On team villain,

So, hmm...

Hamsters:

(Giggling)

(Yawning)

Hamsters:

(Giggling and shushing)

Surprise!

Welcome to the hero team,

Duncan!

Zoey:

Woo-hoo!

(Noisemaker toots)

Ugh! To all my peeps

Back home and in juvee,

I am not a hero!

It must be a trap

To gain my trust

And then - bam! -

They vote me off.

Fat chance of that!

But I can't let them know

That I know,

So yeah,

I ate the cake.

(Emotional) it was like eating

The happiest day of my life!

Sierra:

Duncan on team hero -

The fans will lose it!

I have to get a photo

For my blog!

Sam:

Let's sing the welcome song!

How 'bout

Let's not do that.

Sierra:

(Horrified shriek)

My social media machine!

It's in pieces!

Oh. Hello? Hello?

Hello?!

Did I break her phone?

(Snoring)

(Loud thunderclap)

(Electricity fizzles)

(Deep inhale,

Malevolent laughter)

It's okay, sierra.

It's not okay!

It's no-kay!

It had my top

Cody pics on it!

Just picture him

In your mind then.

(Dreamily)

Okay, codies. Heh.

Man, I miss my villainous babe.

I bet she's having a blast.

This is the worst!

I only came back

To total drama

To make things better

With courtney.

But now she hates me

More than ever.

(Sobbing)

She came back for me?

Yeah, right!

She probably knew I'd overhear.

But... But how?

Chris:

Okay, now that the weather's

Cleared up,

Get your waterlogged butts

To the beach

For today's beatdown!

I mean... Challenge!

Welcome, contestants!

Before we get started,

Let's bring back

Last night's exile:

Cameron!

(Helicopter rotors b*at)

Cameron:

Waaaaaaaah!

(Impact grunt,

Pained groan)

Okay, a) how are you still alive

After a night on the island?

And b)

Why do you smell so rank?

Simple!

Between seasons,

I read up on

Wilderness survival tips.

(Bear grunts)

(Groans)

(Grunts and sighs)

(Urine splatters)

If you douse yourself

With the, um, "scent"

Of the most vicious animal

In the forest,

Then all creatures will give you

The utmost respect.

Duncan:

Not all creatures.

(Sighs) that's just

What my codykins would do!

I'm gonna twert it.

(Giggles)

Thankfully,

I smuggled in some tape

For emergency repairs.

Disgusting revelations aside,

It's challenge time!

Chef didn't have time to cook

Team losers' breakfast

This morning

Because he was busy

Making these!

Pancakes!

That's right,

It's eating contest time!

Each team member gets

One minute to scarf up

As much pancake-y goodness

As they can.

When a hero's eating time

Is up,

They hear this:

(Angelic music plays)

And the villains get this:

(Vulture screeches)

Then you just have to race

Through a nausea-inducing

Obstacle course.

(Gulps, nervous)

Obstacle course?

It's a nod to the mad skills

Course from last season -

The toughest parts, anyway.

First, you've gotta get past

The bouncy butts -

They're a real pain!

Then it's onto the retching

Rolling pin,

And a swift kick

From the grape crusher

Gets you back in line.

Pfft!

That won't be so hard.

Really? Huh.

I wasn't going to add this,

But since scott's

Not impressed...

Bring it in!

Say hello to my metal friend!

(Beep)

Chris:

I call it the salad spinner.

The perfect end

To a barftastic course.

Uh, how does it work?

Probably painfully.

I don't know.

We didn't have time

To test it.

Nice one, scott.

And yes,

I was being sarcastic!

What? What?!

You're pretty

When you're mad.

Barf.

Chris:

Speaking of which,

Players have to make it through

The course without,

Ahem, "regurgitating"

To get back in line

And stay in the game.

But if you puke,

You're benched,

Leaving the other players

On your team to eat up

Without your help.

Once your pancake's toast,

Just complete

The obstacle course

One last time to win.

Ready... Set...

Scarf!

(Horn blasts)

(Chomping)

We need a team leader,

And I think it should be you.

Courtney: what?!

Scott: whatever.

Fine! You go first.

But you'd better

Have a big appetite.

Alejandro:

As you wish.

(Chomping)

(Gasps)

Ouch! Ow!

Oh yeah.

There might be some booby traps

And feisty ingredients

In those pain-cakes.

Mmm...

Are those blueberries?

I've never heard of fish eyes

Being called that, but, sure.

Sierra:

(Vomiting)

Chris:

And sierra is benched!

Who's next?

Cameron: I'm on it!

Hamsters: go, cameron! Yeah!

(Voracious chomp)

Duncan:

(Coughs)

(Blows a kiss)

Since when do I blow kisses?

(Vulture screeches)

Eatin' time's over

For alejandro,

Now it's beatin' time!

Courtney, scott and heather:

Do not throw up!

You can do it!

Ooh! Very nice moves

From alejandro!

And he continues to impress

On the rolling pins!

Yes!

(Whap,

Aleajandro screams)

(Spinner whirs)

(Hard thud)

So that's how it works.

(Alejandro wretches,

Vultures gasp, chris chuckles)

(Alejandro swallows,

Vultures sigh, relieved)

Tastes so nice,

He ate it twice!

Chris will pay

For laughing at me.

Chris:

I sincerely doubt it, al!

(Laughs)

Dirt for brains,

You're next.

Argh! The gruel's

Given me lead gut.

I forgot

That's what you get

When you eat too much

Of the good stuff.

Stop whining

And "get to chowing,"

Or whatever

Your people say!

Scott:

Well, when you put it

Like that.

And stop smiling at me!

(Eating noisily)

Aggghhhh!

Chris:

The villains may have the lead,

But cameron's got

The most game!

(Sniffs)

(Whines)

(Raccoon vomits)

(Angelic music plays)

Run, cam!

Cameron:

My weight divided

By perfect angle

Times fear of failure...

Here goes!

Aagghhh!

(Groans)

Ohhh...

(Sickly groans)

I'm stuffed

Like a thanksgiving pigeon.

(Vulture screeches)

Run, scott!

Run like your very life

Depends on it!

Which it does!

Why would I go next?

I'm team captain!

Because I said so!

Gwen:

Ugh.

Courtney: what?

Heather: huh?

If I don't puke,

Maybe I can still fix things

With courtney and win!

Cameron:

(Groaning)

(Screams)

Ungh!

Aagghhhh! Oof!

(Branches cracking)

Whoaaa! Ugh!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I caught it all

On my phone!

Way to go, cody!

Cam! Codycam! Camdy?

Chris:

(Laughs)

Next!

No fair!

He didn't do the spinner!

I'll allow it.

His pain was our gain!

Which team will finish their

Barf-tastic breakfast first?

Find out after the break.

Chris:

We're back, and the vultures

Are in the lead,

But for how long?

Duncan:

One side!

I'll go next.

(Rolling pin whirs,

Electrcity crackles)

You break it,

You buy it, scott!

(Grunting and groaning)

Too much gruel

And pancake.

Stomach feels like

It weighs a ton.

Ungh.

A little help here?!

(Beep)

Scott:

Aaggghhhhhhh!

(Spinner whirs loudly)

Chris:

And scott is safe

To eat again!

Mike: you can do it!

Sam: scarf for your life!

Mm-mm.

This is easy!

Chris:

You were saying?

(Muffled cries,

Heavenly choir plays)

Gwen:

(Chomping and gagging)

(Vulture screeches)

(Crab claws clack,

Gwen screams)

I'm not going after gwen.

She'll leave a booby trap

In there for me!

Um, I think she's a little

Too busy for that.

Fine! I'll go next.

But if we lose,

Gwen goes home.

Deal?

Deal.

Chris:

The villains

Are two thirds done,

But it looks like the heroes

Need to up their appetite,

Big time!

Whoaoaoa!

Oof!

Ow... You have to do better

Than that, chris!

(Pained groan)

Vultures:

Hurry! Run!

All:

(Gasp)

(Groans)

Duncan:

Whoa, babe,

You don't look so good.

Yeow!

I'm not one to care

About my looks,

But man,

Check out my lips!

It's like two worms having

A street fight down there.

Chris:

Hero duncan is just ahead

And villain gwen's head is

Turning a new shade of green.

Duncan:

Gwen? Are you okay?

Come on, you can do it!

(Grunts and vomits)

Duncan:

Aw, sick.

Chris:

Oh! And gwen gives the "hurl

Of shame" new meaning!

Hit the bench!

Blehhh!

Chris:

And duncan's

At the salad spinner.

(Heavenly music plays)

Chris:

Heroes need another eater!

I'm on it!

(Chomps)

Even if I could access

My alternate personalities,

I don't think they'd help.

Svetlana only eats veggies,

Veto's a total carnivore,

Manitoba hates carbs

And chester would just complain

There's too much syrup.

(Splat,

Courtney shrieks)

Green jelly!

Aagghhhh!

Get it off me!

Get it off me!

Why is she freaking out

So much?

Sierra:

Season one,

"Phobia factor" challenge.

She's terrified of that stuff!

(Heavenly music plays,

Nearby crackling sound)

(expl*si*n)

(Screaming)

(Spinner whirs)

(Deep inhale)

Can't resist a little chaos.

(Evil laughter)

(Deep inhale,

Light laughter)

Why am I laughing

When I feel like barfing?

Courtney:

(Shrill shrieking)

Chris:

And courtney makes it

To the spinner.

Courtney:

Whoaoaoaoaoaoaoa!

(Indicator buzzes)

Is this norma-a-a-al?

(Terrified scream)

Chris:

(Laughing)

Seen future.

Must stop eating cake.

Chris:

Looks like the villains

Are about to taste victory...

And maybe some old shoes -

We put some in their pancake.

Enjoy the loser cabin

Tonight!

Oh, it's not breakfast anymore,

Alejandro.

It's dinnertime!

Zoey! Tag me! Tag me!

Heather:

No way!

That's not in the rules!

It is if one of the villains

Tags out too.

Ugh!

Alejandro:

Tag my designer boot.

Do it!

Fine. If I have to.

You can do this,

Samuelsan.

One does not play the game,

One lets the game play him.

Waaaah!

Duncan:

Go, sam!

You can do it!

I mean, whatever!

Pfft!

Do whatever

'Cause I don't care!

It's okay

To be a team player.

What?

Just something

About your voice

That's kinda familiar.

Chris:

The heroes have stormed back,

People!

It's neck and neck.

Agghhh!

Agghhh!

Fire ants!

Heather: don't you dare lose!

Scott: come on, man!

Chris:

Sam finishes his pancake first!

I... I dood it wif my mouth.

Cameron:

Sam! The obstacle course!

Wha? Who?

Scott:

Come on, ale-whatever!

Don't bother,

Obviously he can't do it!

Al's finished

The villain's pancake.

The race to finish is on!

(Grunts)

Need power up.

Mike and cameron:

Hurry, sam!

Alejandro's catching up!

Alejandro:

I'm coming for you,

Game-child!

(Snickers)

It's not game-child.

It's game-man!

Sam:

(Guttural yell)

(Spinner whirs)

(Raccoon vomits)

Sam:

(Grunts of exertion)

Hamsters:

(Cheering)

Yeah! Wooo!

Alejandro:

Not so fast!

Scott and heather:

Woo-hoo!

Losing stings.

(Laughs)

Agghhh!

My sexy cheek!

(Sam crashes on platform)

Chris:

And the heroes win!

Hamsters:

(Cheering) yeah!

Ha ha ha! Woo hoo!

Chris:

Oh, just a minute, heroes.

(Monstrous belch)

Zoey and mike:

(Gasp)

(Chess pieces clatter)

(Birds caw)

(Sam burps

Bee buzzes)

Chalk one up

For the game-guy.

Sure, it wasn't easy,

But me and old iron tummy

Didn't get banned

From all the barney buffet's

In the tricounty area

For nothing.

Alejandro:

(Groans, defeated)

Heather:

Knew he couldn't do it.

Scott:

Where's courtney?

Courtney:

Hello? A little help here?!

(Groans) oh...

Alejandro:

If not for me,

We would've lost

By a much more

Dishonorable amount.

But we did still lose,

Right?

Then I suppose tonight

I will be forced

To bid you farewell.

Sam:

I guess neither of us'll be

In the loser cabin tonight!

Flush!

(Laughs)

Chris:

Listen up, campers,

'Cause I have a shocking

Announcement to make.

Gwen didn't

Accidentally-on-purpose

Serve courtney

An ouchie today!

The day's not over yet.

Oh, and after reviewing

The footage

Of today's challenge

And laughing a lot,

Turns out the heroes didn't,

In fact,

Complete the challenge.

Everyone:

(Shocked gasps)

Mike:

But sam finished the pancake

And the obstacle course first!

Sam, will you stand up

And turn out your pockets,

Please?

Everyone:

(Shocked gasps)

I just saved a tiny bit

In case I had to go

To boney island again.

It's a terrible place!

I'm sorry!

Heroes forfeit.

Villains win it!

Vultures:

Yeah! Yes! All right!

Time to vote someone out,

Heroes.

(Markers scratch,

Flies buzz)

Chris:

We're down to the final

Two contestants.

Who will get

The final marshmallow?

Will it be...

Sam "the pancake hoarder,"

Or sierra "the pancake hurler"?

The last marshmallow

Goes to...

(Dramatic music plays)

Sierra!

Guess who didn't need

A boney island contingency plan?

Sam, you're done!

(Groans sadly)

Sorry I blew it, guys,

But you would've done the same

If you were me

And you'd spent a night

In that scary, bite-y place!

Chris:

That reminds me.

Which winner is gonna be

A loser tonight

On the island?

Scott:

Me. I'll go.

Last season, I found

The invincibility sculpture

In no time flat.

Now I get a whole night?

It's in the bag!

Chris:

Any last words before...

You know?

I just wanna say- (beep)

Aaggghhhhhh!

Psyche!

(Loud gelatinous squish)

Sam:

Uh, guys?

A bit stuck in here!

I thought you were gonna fix

That water pressure problem?

The villains finally win again.

But can they do it again again?

Can you stop that

For just one second?

Chef:

(Annoyed sigh)

Find out next time

On total... Drama...

All-stars!

(Toilet flushes,

Sam screams)