01x03 - Along Came a Sister/Chore and Peace

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[dramatic music]

♪

[children chattering]

- Hey, Frank.
- Frank, over here, buddy!

- He's so cool!

- Now, before we pack up,
I need a volunteer

to look after Frank this weekend
while I'm out of town.

[all shouting]

- Come on, please, Mrs. Johnson!
- Me! Me!

- Lincoln.
- Yes!

- Way to go, Lincoln.
- Aw, man!

- Now, Lincoln, this is
a major responsibility.

Frank needs to be fed
twice a day,

and under no circumstances
should he

be let out of his cage.

Unlike me this weekend.
[chuckles]

[school bell rings]

- Well, see ya Monday,
Mrs. Johnson.

This is gonna be
the best weekend ever!

- I'm not sure your sister Leni
will think so.

Remember last Halloween?

[doorbell rings]

- I got it!

- Trick or tr--
- Ah!

Spider!

- Ugh!
I'm all right.

She hid in her room
for three weeks.

- If I had to worry
about my sisters

every time I wanted
to do something,

I'd never do anything.

Besides, I have a plan.

Stealth mode.

- Now I'm worried.

- Spider!
- [laughs]

- Get it away! Get it away!

- Aw, come on, it's fake!

[bird squawks]

- Shh...

[bird squawks]

There ya go, buddy!
[knock at door]

- Can I borrow
the big kid scissors?

[gasps]
Hey, what's that?

Oh-ho!
He's so creepy!

Can I play with him?
Can I?

- No, no,
Frank stays in the cage.

- Aw...

- Lana, give me back my dolly!

[gasps]
Eee!

He's so adorable!

[together]
Has Leni seen this?

- No, and we want to keep
it that way, don't we?

So shh.

- Excuse me, some of us
are trying to solve for Y.

[gasps] Is that
an aphonopelma chalcodes?

- Uh...
it's a tarantula.

My class calls him Frank.

- Fascinating specimen.

Has Leni seen this?

- No, that's why I'm trying
to keep him a--

[chattering and cooing]

Secret.

[chattering and cooing]

- Has Leni seen it?

- Guys, for the last time,

Leni's not gonna see--

- See what?

[together]
Nothing!

- [gasps]
[all gasp]

- Oh, my gosh!

Are you planning
a surprise party for me?

Wait, don't tell me.

I want to be surprised.

[all sigh]

- That was close.
- [sighs]

- You better know
what you're doing, Lincoln.

- [sighs]

- Hey, you look a little
sluggish, buddy.

Bet you'd really like to get out
and stretch your legs.

I guess a few minutes
wouldn't hurt.

- [squeaks]

- Now, where did I put
those crickets?

Maybe this'll cheer ya up.

Frank?

Where'd you go?

Frank, come out!
This isn't funny!

Crud.

Where are you, Frank?
Where are you?

Where are you?
Where are you?

[together]
Where's who?

- There you are!

The two cutest twins in town!

Found 'em!
See ya.

- He was talking about me.
- I sure hope so.

[liquid bubbling
and sloshing]

- What in Schroedinger's cat?

- Sorry, Lis.
I'll clean it up later.

[expl*si*n booms]
[cat yowls]

[gasps]
Lynn, freeze!

- We're playing freeze tag?Cool!


[drum solo playing]

♪

- Ow!
- Dude!

- Really dig what you're laying
down there, sis!

[dramatic music]

Gotcha!

- What are you doing
with my fake spider?

- Fake?
Oh, nothing.

Here,

and here's your
fake dog poop.

- I don't have
any fake dog poop.

- Ah!

- Just kidding!

[both laugh]

- Where are you?
Where are you?

Where are you?

- What are you doing,
you weirdo?

- I'm, uh...

Looking for my contact lens!

Oh, there it is!

That's better.

- Can I unfreeze now?

- Crud, crud, crud!

- All right, Lincoln.

You don't wear contacts.

What is going on?

- You've been acting even
weirder than usual, bro.

- Yeah, there's no way
you think Lana is cute.

[indistinct chatter]

- Okay, I'll tell you.

Well, Frank was looking
sluggish,

so I took him out of his cage
to get a little exercise,

and then I turned
to get the crickets,

and he was gone.

[indistinct chatter]

- What are we
whispering about?

Oh, right,
my surprise party!

Don't worry.
I won't tell me.

[all scream]

See, I know nothing,

just making a smoothie.

- Where did he go?
- Where?

- The spider?
- What are we gonna do?

- Oh, I need milk.

[all gasp]

- Wait!
You're lactose intolerant!

- No, I'm not.

I'm tolerant of everyone,

whether they lack toes or not.

all: No!

Huh?

[all sigh]

- Eee, pider!

[suspenseful music]

[pot clangs]

[pot clanging]

- So who wants
to try my new recipe?

It's curds and--
- [gasps]

- Way, way too much spinach!

[all gasp]

- Ugh! I know.
What was I thinking?

[plunk]

Ha, nice try, Luan,
but I'm not falling

for another one
of your fake spiders.

Though, this one
looks pretty real.

[screams]
Spider!

all: No!

- Worst surprise party ever!

- Frank!
No-oh-oh-oh!

- I just want to say
I'm sorry for your loss

and that I'd be honored
to serve as funeral director.

I keep an assortment
of caskets on hand.

Were you thinking shoebox,
or for a little more money,

mahogany?

[funeral dirge]

- Hey, Lincoln,

I brought you this casserole.

My nana said that there's

no greater comfort
in times of grief.

- Thanks.
[sighs]

This might as well
be my funeral too.

Our whole class
is gonna hate me

for letting this happen
to Frank.

- We are gathered here
to mourn the untimely passing

of Frank the tarantula,

a pet beloved by all.

- Except Leni.

- The m*rder*r!

- Yeah!

- This is all Leni's fault.

- Guys,
this isn't Leni's fault.

It's mine.

- Ew, ew, ew!

- I knew Leni was afraid
of spiders,

but I brought Frank home
anyway.

It was a bad idea.

I guess I deserve
to have my whole class hate me.

- [retches]

- Ew, gross, Cliff!
Show some respect!

- Whoa, weird.
This hairball looks like Frank!

- Ew, gross, Lana!

Show some respect!

- Because this isn't Frank!

It's a hairball too!

Which means Frank
could still be alive!

- [screams]
Spider!

- And it sounds like
Leni just found him.

- Uh, that wasn't Leni.

I know that scream.

[coughing]

Oh, hi, Mr. Loud.
Trick or tr--

- [screams]
Spider!

- I'm all right.

- Dad's afraid of spiders?

[horn honking
cheerful tune]

- And it looks like he's got

the exterminator
on speed dial!

all: Frank!

[hard rock music]

♪

- Oh, hello, cute little
caterpillar family.

[laughs]

- It's okay, sir.
There's been a misunderstanding.

You don't need to k*ll
the spider.

- Ha, what are you?
A spider hugger?

Nobody stops me
from getting my spider.

- I got to go save Frank!

- We can help.
- I can help too.

[all shouting]

- Okay, you guys distract
the exterminator

while I look for Frank.

[all shouting]

Unfreeze.

- [screams]
There's a big scary spider

in the last room
on the right!

I hope someone can exterminate
this ugly spider!

- [laughs]
Ah!

- What's the matter?

Afraid of a little
rubber spider?

[laughs]

- I ain't afraid of nothin'.

- Excuse me.
- [screams]

- The scary spider
went in there.

- Mm...
[sniffs]

- What are you doing,
you weirdo?

- Oh, well, uh...
[stammers] I didn't--

- [growls]

I'm a spider.
Come and get me.

[grunts]
I'm all right.

- [grunts]

- [giggles]

- [spits]

- Kids,
they can be so juvenile.

Mouthwash?

- [swishes]

[steam whistling]

- My special ghost pepperformula.


The tingle means it's working.

- Frank's not downstairs,
so he must be--

♪

- Upstairs.

- [grunts]

- Ha! I've got you now!

- Wait, stop, no!

[gasps]

[all gasp]

Huh?

- Wha--

- Wahoo!

- Frank!

- Yes, Frank!
- Wahoo!

- Why you...

- Hold it right there,
mister.

If you exterminate
this spider,

you'll exterminate
this boy's future.

Everyone will think
he's a spider k*ller,

and no one will ever
trust him again.

Do you really want that
on your conscience?

- Wow.

I never thought
of it that way.

Lady,
you just changed my life.

both: Really?

- 'Course not,

you spider huggers!

Exterminator out.

Here's my bill.

- Leni, that was amazing!

But why?

- I heard what you said
at the funeral,

and besides, maybe spiders
aren't so bad after all.

I mean,
this one's kind of cute.

No, it's not!
Take it! Take it!

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
Ew! It blinked at me!

- Let's get you
back in your cage, Frank.

- I always thought Frank
was a strange name

for a female spider.

- Frank's a girl?

- Mm-hmm. I can tell
from the markings.

Plus, female spiders

always get sluggish
before they give birth.

- Frank's gonna be a mommy?

all: Aw!

- Bye, Frances!
- Later!

- So long, Frances.

- I'll miss ya, Frank,

but I'm glad things
are gonna be

back to normal around here.

- 20, 21, 22...

[ominous music]

23...

[screams]

Spider!

[dramatic music]

♪

[dog barks,
bird chirps]

- It's chore day
at the Loud house,

and taking out the trash
is my job,

and in a family
as big as mine,

chores can be pretty intense,

but we get through 'em,
'cause we all do our fair share.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Chores all done!

[splat]

- Well, except maybe for Leni.

Wait.
Two of you do one chore?

- Three of us.
- Ah!

- Sigh.

- Lynn Loud
makes the snag!

Touchdown!

- That doesn't seem very fair.

- Open sesame, bro.

- Little present from Charles.

Special delivery from Cliff,

and airmail from Walt.

♪

- What about Geo?

[toilet flushes]

- I taught him to use
the toilet.

- This isn't a chore for you;
it's a hobby.

[water splashes]

- Uh-oh.
Geo fell in again.

Hang on, baby!
Mama's comin'!

- [giggles]

- [grunts]

Can I get a little help here?

- Can't you see
I'm doing the laundry?

Ha!
LOL, Bobby.

[giggles]
- Whoa!

[grunts]

[sighs]

[dramatic music]

Dang it.

[vacuum whirs]

- Dude, what gives?

- All right, everyone,
listen up!

It has come to my attention that

I've gotten a raw deal
in this house.

- You mean your white hair?
It's nice.

It makes you look
like Pop-pop.

- I'm not talking about
our grandfather!

I'm talking about my chore!

It's way harder than all
of yours, and it's not fair.

- Please, our chores are

just as hard as yours,

if not harder.

- Oh, really?

Look at Lisa.
What does she even do?

- Oh, hold on a moment,
Janice.

I do the bills, Lincoln.

Now, listen, I want
that charge removed, Janice.

I don't think anyone
in this house

bought a car in Saskatchewan.

- Well, if all of you

think your chores are so hard,

I'm sure one of you won't mind
trading with me.

- No way, Lincoln.

There's a very delicate balance
in this house,

and if we all start
trading chores,

it will literally open up
a can of worms.

- What's so bad about that?
Worms rule.

- Okay then.

One, two, three, four!

I won't do
your stupid chore!

- What the heck
are you doing?

- I'm on strike
until someone agrees

to trade chores with me.

Five, six, seven, eight!

Garbage day will have to wait!

- What am I supposed
to do with all this poop?

- 9, 10, 11, 12!

Take that poop out by yourself!

- Ugh, will you stop
talking in chants?

- 13, 14, 15, 16!
Uh--

Hmm...

- Think we should
intervene, honey?

- No, not yet,
I want to see what

he rhymes with 16.

Also maybe we should let

the kids handle this
themselves.

They might learn something.

- Good idea.

In that case,
it's time for ol' Jigsaw Loud

to get back in the puzzle game.

- [chuckles]
Didn't we agree

never to use that nameagain?


♪

- And that's why I deserve to be

the next Miss Cute'n'Mean's
Beauty Queen.

[yelps]

- What do I want?
Someone else's chore!

When do I want it?
Now!

What do I want?
Someone else's chore.

When do I want it?

Ow!

[rock guitar riff]

- So what'd you think, Chunk?

- It stinks.

- Way harsh, dude.

- Not the song,
your room.

Chunk's gotta blow.

- Think it through.
Don't be rash.

Trade with me,
or live with trash!

Think it through.
Don't be rash.

Trade with me,
or live with--ah!

Ha, missed me!

Ah!

- Ew.

- Aw, got a problem?

- Oh, not with you,
Pop-pop.

♪

- Princesses cannot exist
in this filth!

- It's disgusting,
and I know disgusting.

- I totally agree.
- This can't go on.

We have to do something.

- Hey, hey, ho, ho!

Tomorrow I get
a whole new cho'...

er.

Good thing they're giving in,

'cause I'm all out of rhymes.

[yawns]

[suspenseful music]

Lori, where's all
my clean laundry?

- Hmm, laundry,
laundry--

Oh!
I didn't do it.

- And why not?

Ha!
You're going on strike?

- We're all going on strike

until you end yours.

- That means no laundry,

no clean dishes, no vacuuming.

- And no doing the bills.

Janice, cut the power
and the water.

We're going off the grid.

- Well, good luck,

'cause I'm not backing down.

all:
Neither are we!

- One, two, three, four!

I won't wash your clothes
no more!

- Chores! Huh?
What are they good for?

all:
Absolutely nothing!

Say it again!

- Now should we intervene?

- Oh, no, let's give the kids
a little more time

to resolve this
on their own.

- Sweet!
Who's up for round two?

Jiggy Loud's about to do
a pizzy up in this hizzy!

- Uh-huh.

- [snores]

[laughs]

[sniffs]

Ugh!

[footsteps squishing]

Ew, what is that?

- Ha, bunch of hair
from the sink drain.

Makes a great footbag.

- Hey, Lori, now that Lisa
stopped paying the bills,

it must be pretty hard
having no cell service.

- Who needs cell service?

I found a new way to text Bobby.

Fly away,
my faithful messenger!

- [squawks]

- [laughs]

- What?
Phones crash all the time.

- [chirps]

- Pretty messy in here.

Must be hard
to get any work done.

- On the contrary.

The garbage
and my chemicals have fused,

creating
a scientific breakthrough.

I call him h*m* trashilius,

or Trashy for short.

- [growls]

- Ah!

- Okay, now should
we intervene?

- I still think the kids
can solve this themselves.

Besides,
the house has looked worse.

Aw, come here, sweetie.

- Round three
with Jiggy P?

- Mm.

- Ah!

[trash splashes]

♪

- Help!
My footbag's out of control!

- This could all be over
if you'd just end your strike.

- Not till you end yours!

[doorbell rings]

- Hi, we're from
the Miss Cute'n'Mean pageant,

here to do
a behind-the-scenes interview

with Miss Lola Loud.

- ♪ Here she is

♪ The next
Miss Cute'n'Mean! ♪

[farts]

- Ew!

More like
Miss Gross'n'Gnarly!

Interview over!

- No!
[growls]

You...

This is all your fault!

- [laughs]

- Lori!
- [shrieks]

- Walt brought me your text.

Usually, I bleed profusely
from my nose,

turn into a robot,

and eventually faint
when I'm around you,

but this has given me
the confidence to say,

"I love you too!"

- What?
- Don't worry.

I already broke the news
to Bobby.

He took it pretty hard,

but a really nice cheerleader
is consoling him.

[smooches lips]

- Whew!
Finally lost Lola.

- You!

- Ah!

- [growls]

- Trashy, bad!

No, no, not you, Janice.

- Lisa,
what have you been feeding him?

- His name is Trashy.

What do you think, genius?

- [growls]

[Lily wails]

- Baby?

- Great, Lincoln,
you made Lily cry.

- There, there,
it's okay, Lily.

- [chitters]

- I'm more than
just poop patrol.

- [whimpers]

- Guys, if the raccoon
was in the crib,

then where's Lily?

[all gasp]

- Lily!
- She's in here somewhere!

- We'll never find her
in this mess.

- We have to clean up.

I declare this strike
officially over!

Ow!

Who's with me?

all: We are!

- Janice, how soon can
we get back on the grid?



What if I throw in
a muffin basket?

[electricity buzzes]

- Come on,
you got to be here somewhere!

Hang on, Lily.
Your big brother's coming!

[glasses shattering]

- There's a better way.

- Wash and learn!

[laughs]

- Sigh.

[upbeat rock music]

[vacuum whirs]

[dishes clanking]

- Hang on, Lily.
I'm coming!

♪

[gasps]

So much underwear!

- Yeah, and that's just dad's.

Now get out of my way,
little bro.

I've got a system.

[machine beeps]

- Hey, sugar lips.

Should our couple name
be Clori or Llyde?

- Bobby and I
are back together.

- Abort, abort.

[sighs]

- Poop patrol is done,
but no Lily!

- Beds are made, no Lily!

- [grunts]
No baby.

- Maybe she's under
all this trash!

- Step aside.

Taking out the trash is my job.

- [gulps]

- Well,
we've all done our chores,

and there's still no Lily.

- This is all my fault!

For the rest of my life...
- [giggling]

- I'll be haunted by the sound

of her adorable giggling!

- Lincoln, what are you
crying about?

- Mom, I confess,
we lost--

Lily?

Have you guys had her
this whole time?

- Of course,
you didn't think

we'd leave her in that mess,did you?

- You know, we're proud of
you guys for working this out.

Now, who wants to do a puzzle
with J to the Iggy?

all: Who?

- When it comes to chores,

nobody in the Loud house
has it easy.

The truth is,
we all do our fair share.

- Hey, Loud,
don't bother!

There's no trash pickup
this week!

The garbage workers
are striking for more money.

- Wait, they get paid
to take out the trash?

all: One, two, three, four,

give us cash or no more chores!

- Any ideas, J-Pizzy?

- Now, this is a puzzle.

Can you call me that again?
- J-Pizzy.

- Yes!

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with 11 kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house