03x05 - No Can Do

[bunniefuu]

[percussive music]

[buzzing]

- JIM: Who is it?
- It's a m*rder*r.

I've come to m*rder you
both with a big g*n.

JIM: Thank Christ
for that. Come up.

[door buzzes]

Morning. Posh coffees?

Wowzers. You certainly look like
you're on top of everything.

I bloody am. We're gonna
save this company, Darren.

- Guaranteed.
- All aboard!

- [both chuckle] - The pitch
proposal you emailed me,

I don't fully understand
it, but it looks superb.

Yeah, I'm feeling incredibly
positive about this.

I'm only sorry there's nothing
I can do, you know, financially.

Everything I've got now
is in my mother's name.

-Yeah, right. No, yeah, you said.
-It's complicated.

Mum's a company for tax
reasons, so sometimes I have to

refer to her as "Property
Solutions, Limited" in letters.

- Yeah.
- And once accidentally in a birthday card.

- Hmm.
- Oh, it's bank manager afternoon, isn't it?

- Good luck.
- Oh, have you thought any more about

whether you want a
party for your birthday?

Yeah, I'm fine.
I don't want one.

Oh, come on. It
would be great.

You're only 11 once... unless you're
a Buddhist. They clock up a few.

I don't really enjoy being
the center of attention.

But you deserve to
be. Come on, Ava.

-Grab life by the... well, what is it?
-Ballbag.

- Scruff of the neck.
- Sorry.

And tap into your mother's
amazing positive energy.

Yeah. Okay. Sure.

I'll have a birthday
party. But a small one.

Minuscule. We'll
only invite atoms.

[chuckles softly]

Right. Can you just put those
together for me, please?

BRANDON: Mm.

[rhythmic music]

You won't have hurt your back
lugging our shopping, would you?

No, no. No, I'm being good
about going to the gym.

It's really helping. And
I've stopped smoking.

Oh, that's good news.

JIM: Thanks for
gettin' all that, Paul.

At times, it feels like
we're housebound up here.

- Hmm.
- It's such a palaver

just getting down
the stairs to go out.

Yeah. And then you have
to come back up again.

That's the way it works
with stairs, innit?

And the lift's knackered
a lot of the time,

but we don't like to complain.

- No?
- Oh, we moan a bit,

but we're happy enough.

It's just a bit claustrophobic
up here, you know?

Hmm. I should take you
both for a drive soon.

-Out into the countryside. See some sky.
-Oh, that'd be nice.

JACKIE: We miss looking
out on a bit of greenery.

Mm-hmm.

That garden flat's
about to become vacant,

but we couldn't afford the rent.

Well, uh, no guarantees,

but I'm up for a
promotion at work again.

Helen's moving on.

Is she the girl you
lost out to last time?

Much younger.
Went to Cambridge.

Why have you remembered
that? Yes, her.

Anyway, this time round,
there's no one on the team

they can realistically
appoint ahead of me.

So, hopefully, I'll
have a bit more money.

I can help you
out with the rent.

No, no, son... you
don't need to...

Look, no, Dad. Honestly,
if I can, I will.

It just depends on what happens
with Ally's work, you know.

But she seems upbeat about
rescuing the business.

She's a clever
sausage, that one.

Mm, and a smart cookie.

Yeah. That's why I married
her. Mains and afters.

[percussive music]

- DARREN: We're a bit early.
- Should we just nip into the pub

for ten minutes,
take the edge off?

Could score some coke.
Do a couple of lines.

They're probably
all on coke, anyway.

It's mainly bankers
who do it these days.

All the pop stars are on hibiscus
tea and collagen powder, aren't they?

Oh, it's a topsy-turvy world.

Very dapper. Looks like we're
about to get married, doesn't it?

- No.
- No, actually. No.

All right, here we go then.

Hey, should we just rob
the f*cking bank instead?

Well, let's see how it goes.
Have that as our Plan B, huh?

ALLY: Yeah! You're
right. Let's smash this.

It's the utter lack of
imagination that gets me!

You know, unable to think
outside the box for one second.

I mean, I feel sorry for
them. I do. I feel...

genuine sadness and empathy for
those miserable dog f*ckers.

Yeah, they did dismiss
our pitch quite quickly.

- I am so angry.
- With me?

- With them!
- Great!

But it's a good anger.
It's good. It's good.

It's making me even more
determined to succeed.

Ooh, like, ahh! There's
a f*ck of a lot of energy

- just coursing through me right now.
- Oh, I can feel it.

It's like sitting near an
electricity substation.

So what's our next
move? Can we crowdfund?

Mm, we'd need too much, I think.

Uh, it's a terrific
thought, though.

Well, uh, find investors then.

Venture capital. The
hedge fund f*ckers.

- Mm, we're not an attractive proposition.
- Ugh.

Until we're solvent again,
they won't wanna touch us.

I mean, these are no-risk
guys. Seat belts and airbags.

But I could... could look again.

Yes, do it, Darren!
You've got rich friends.

Call them up. Blackmail them.

I absolutely know that
I can save this business

if we just get the money.

No, I believe you.
[breathless] You're brilliant.

I am. I am f*cking brilliant.

[percussive music]

AVA: Okay, I'll add
this to the playlist.

- [muffled bass guitar playing] - Now...
how about some proper dance music?

- Do I want people dancing?
- Of course you want people dancing.

- It's a party.
- I just don't want a lot of fuss.

You are going to
have a ton of fuss.

- ALLY: You tell her, Grace.
- Hey, you look a tiny bit

like you're looking
forward to this party, Ava.

- [Paul chuckles]
- She's gonna love it.

Oh, Paul, Mum and Alex asked us
for dinner on Thursday night.

Oh, cool. All right, well...

we can celebrate my promotion.

- Hopefully.
- Yes.

I-I'm not counting my chickens.

- I know I've lost out before.
- No, no, no, no, no.

You're definitely gonna
get this big work chicken.

[chuckles] Cheers, hon.

[glasses clink]

- Mmm.
- [bass guitar playing]

Ooh. Yeah, I'll buy
him some headphones.

Mm.

[percussive music]

Whoa! These things can k*ll you
if you're not careful, right?

Yeah. Absolutely. What floor?

- Uh, four, please.
- Oh, right. Same as mine.

Oh. Okay... Hi.

I'm Brandon Marsh.

Paul Worsley.

Paul Worsley. Honored
to meet you, man.

The king of Urban Ambition's
Kn*fe crime policy.

Hmm. Well, that's my section.
I don't know I'm king of it.

Oh, I can't wait to get into
that whole area, Paul. So good.

Hey. It's great we
could share this moment.

- [elevator dings]
- [percussive music]

[indistinct chatter]

I will.

There's the man himself.

[indistinct chatter]

- Paul...
- That bloke's getting Helen's job, isn't he?

- [sighs] sh*t. I am so sorry.
- No, no, don't be.

No, I should be. He wasn't gonna
be flying in until next week.

- Flying in?
- He's relocating from Chicago.

The board wanted him... got him.

He'll be our new Helen-Plus, sort
of co-running everything with me.

I'm... [sighs]

I'm sorry we've
sprung this on you.

But is he actually
called Brandon, though?

- Isn't that just in films?
- I know.

- But he seems like a good guy.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, great. No, I mean
seriously. Great.

If he's so good at his job that they
want to fly him in from Chicago,

then... more power to him.

You seem pretty
Zen about it all.

- I know I do, don't I?
- Mm-hmm.

I suppose I must be then.

See ya in a bit.

[video game g*n f*ring]

- Knock-knock.
- Come in.

Got you some headphones,
quarter-inch jack for the amp.

- Ah, thank you, Dad.
- You're welcome.

- Haven't been too loud, have I?
- No, no.

It's just... just for
late night practice.

Oh, okay. Great.

- [Paul exhales heavily]
- Is everything all right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I... I
didn't get that promotion.

Oh, no, Dad. I'm really
sorry. You must feel horrible.

Well... [laughs]

the thing is, mate, no
I don't. Not really.

I mean, the money would've been
great, but the job itself, it's...

I think I've realized that
I'm not an ambitious man.

- I'm happy doing what I'm doing.
- Okay.

Work is just work to me.
It doesn't thrill me.

Doesn't not thrill
me. I just... do it.

[chuckling] And they've
clearly picked up on that.

Why are you talking
to me about this, Dad?

W-Well, uh...

Well, 'cause Mum's in a different
headspace at the moment.

She's all sort of... go-getting.

Don't think she
wants to hear this.

But I, yeah, I... I
thought you'd get it.

- I do get it.
- Good.

Right, dinner in about an hour?

- Great.
- Cool.

- Thanks, Dad.
- Thanks, mate.

[percussive music]

[doorbell rings]

Ah, one sec. I'll get it.

- [sighs heavily]
- Oh, hi, Paul.

I, uh, I took in
a parcel for you.

Great. Thanks, Carl. Cheers.

Yeah, I was waiting for
something myself, actually.

Similarly from Amazon.

- Same sort of size.
- Right.

Yeah, I was quite nonplussed
at first when they said, uh,

- "Can you take this in for next door?"
- Right.

- I said, "Well, why would they want it?"
- Hmm.

- Then it clicked.
- Mm-hmm.

Just a matter of seconds, but it
is funny what your brain does.

It is funny what
your brain does.

Okay. Thanks very much, Carl.

- Oh, uh, party?
- Yep. Yeah.

We're just, um... prepping for
Ava's birthday in a couple of days.

I think that's what this
is, actually. Balloons.

- Oh. Nice. Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Ah. Yeah. Yeah...

- Okay. Thanks again.
- Yeah, no problem.

- Oh, I...
- Oh, boy.

I'm always happy to take
in a parcel for you.

- Are you?
- Unless it's a grand piano.

- [forced laugh]
- [chuckles]

Yeah. You know, but even then,

I do have a porch out
in the back, so...

-Listen, I've got... Thank you.
-Yep.

[chuckling] Thanks. Cheers.

[Paul chuckling]

- Hey up, everyone. Balloons!
- [all exclaiming]

Wonder if I can blow these
up now that I'm a nonsmoker.

- I never could before.
- ALLY: Give it a go.

I'll give it a go. Stand back.

[inhales deeply]

Oh, come on, lungs. [chuckles]

- [laughs] That's hard.
- [Ally laughs]

LUKE: Blow...

ALL: Blow, blow, blow,

blow, blow, blow, blow.

That's not bad, is it?

- ALL: Yay!
- [doorbell rings]

If that's f*cking Carl, I'm
gonna get a restraining order.

Hi. Hello. We're
Grace's parents.

Oh, yes, of course. Of
course. Hello again.

We need to take Grace home.
Something terrible has happened.

- Oh, no.
- [air squeaking]

Uh... we lost Grace's
cousin Ethan earlier today.

There was an accident
on the motorway.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Uh, come in. Grace
is just upstairs.

[indistinct chatter]

[air squeaks loudly]

[operatic music playing]

Ava immediately wanted
to cancel, of course,

but then Grace messaged her
and said that she had to go

ahead with the party...
It wasn't disrespectful.

Hmm. No, she'd met this
cousin, what, like once?

- Once. Yeah.
- Yeah. The family were devastated, of course.

- But good for Grace, she said Ava shouldn't cancel.
- Mm.

- Tragic. How old was the cousin?
- Mid-twenties.

- Ohh.
- Mm.

This is all
fantastic, by the way.

- Really delicious.
- It's all Alex's doing.

Leah is an excellent sous chef.

I grate a bit of cheese, then
drink gin in the sitting room.

- [all chuckle] - ALEX: How's
work treating you, Paul?

Oh, well...

- Not incredibly tenderly, Alex.
- ALEX: Oh.

- If I'm honest.
- Oh?

I mean, it's fine. Uh... [sighs]

Well, I was up for a promotion.
It was Helen's old job.

The young Cambridge girl?

- Yeah.
- Paul didn't get the job because

the board of trustees don't
have any vision, like...

like the bloody
banks. [scoffs]

Still no joy raising capital?

Um, no, but I am not giving up.

[music continues]

We've been having a big
discussion over the last few days.

Your mother and I have
great faith in you, Ally,

- and we've made a decision.
- Mm.

We're both prepared to release
the equity on our houses

in order to give you the capital

you need to rescue
your business.

- [music increasing in volume] -
ALEX: You need access to cash, and...

we can... provide it.

And we know you're gonna make
a big success of the business.

And you'll be able
to pay us back.

- [Ally crying]
- LEAH: Oh, oh.

- Darling.
- Hey. Hon. Honey.

I'm so sor... I'm sorry.
I'm just g... I'm just...

- Babe...
- Sorry.

[music continues]

She's overwhelmed.

So am I. That's incredibly
generous of you.

Well, wow. Here's to
both of you. Thank you.

- Cheers.
- LEAH: Cheers.

ALEX: Ooh.

[Ally crying]

You didn't stop crying
all the way home.

This isn't happy crying, is it?

- I can't do it, Paul.
- Mm-hmm.

The moment Mum and Alex
offered me the money,

- I knew in a second.
- Knew what?

I can't save this business.
Of course I f*cking can't.

How am I meant to
save this business?

You've got a pitch document.

Oh, it's pie in the
sky, positive thinking,

silver linings bullshit.

It makes no real sense.

And Darren is a hopeless
twerp, so he's got no idea.

He's just impressed
that I can use Excel.

- So am I.
- [sighs] I mean, deep down I knew

that no one was ever
gonna give us that amount.

Not after the way we collapsed.

So, I was safe pretending
that I could save the business

if I just had
enough f*cking cash.

So, you don't think you'd be able
to pay your mum and Alex back?

No, of course not.

And it's everything
they have in the world.

I cannot be responsible
for losing that.

- [sighs]
- So...

What's next?

I don't know.

I genuinely don't know.

Ah, you know how f*cked
everything is with my health

because I can't
get my proper HRT,

and you know how bad
things are with Ava.

I just... I couldn't
bear to accept

that this job that I love,
that I have devoted myself to

for the last ten
years, was over.

But... it is.

Oh, what is the
point of me, Paul?

-Ally...
-Please, tell me. What is the point of me?

[Paul sighs]

Stop that.

[tender music playing]

[whispers] All right.

BRANDON: [chuckling] Uh, but...

Look, I wanna bring
something new and useful

to this phenomenal organization.

But for now,

I just wanna watch and learn.
See how you guys operate.

Oh, and my card is behind
the bar at the King's Arms...

- [colleagues exclaiming] - if
you'd care to join me after work.

- Do any of you guys drink?
- COLLEAGUES: [laughing] Yeah.

Then I will see you
there tonight. Okay?

-COLLEAGUES: Thank you.
-Cheers, Brandon. Thanks, man. Thank you.

- [colleagues chattering]
- PAUL: Cheers.

[clears throat]

- [knocking softly]
- Hey.

Paul! What can I do for you?

Um, did I hear you mention the
Seattle Initiative just then?

- Yeah. You know it?
- Yeah.

It's the thing where
you print true stories

of Kn*fe-crime victims on the
lids of chicken-shop boxes

- and inside burger wrappers, or...
- Yeah.

It hits the demographic
hard. I want us to try it.

'Cause with respect, Brandon, I
don't like it. I think it's gimmicky.

It's a bit offensive
and, frankly, classist.

- See, we have a policy...
- I know your policy.

- You've had the same policy for 15 years.
- Yeah, 'cause it works.

Um... I mean, okay, it's
the thing that fails least.

We invest in community
projects, youth services.

[chuckling] With equal respect, Paul,
I think that's a tired approach.

[exhales sharply]
Okay. Brandon, again,

with respect, it's not tired.

It might be boring, sure.

But it makes a difference.
It saves lives.

I admire much about
this organization, Paul,

but its Kn*fe-crime
policies are moribund.

Oh, boy. I... "Moribund"?

Yeah. I'd like us to use that money
to trial the Seattle Initiative.

- Well, I don't want us to.
- I am getting that.

- Ah.
- So, maybe we take you off this area of policy.

No... no, obviously
you can't take me off.

I've... I've been on the
Kn*fe-crime policy for years.

That is my point, man.

- I think we need change.
- No, we don't. I'm good at this.

Really? How many times you been
passed up for promotion, Paul?

f*ck you, shithouse. Don't
talk to me like that.

Sorry. Yeah, I'm...
Yeah, I'm sorry.

Let's maybe both
take a step back.

Yeah, no, look it's...
Brandon, I didn't know

if I really felt passionately
about this job anymore.

And it turns out,
actually, that I do.

So, I-I'm sorry, Brandon.
I lost it for a second.

Okay. I need to get some
things done now, Paul, so...

Sure. Yeah.

Right. More sweets, more
chocolate, more Cokes.

I'm like the
inverse Tooth Fairy.

- ALLY: You got visitors.
- Hmm?

[Paul chuckles]

We're early, aren't we?

Ninety minutes, yeah.

That's going some,
even by your standards.

- We didn't wanna get here late.
- Ah.

There's two buses.

[sighs]

Hey, look, I'm...
I'm sorry again

about not being able to
stump up the extra rent.

- Oh...
- Oh, don't worry about that, Paul.

We're all right in
our little flat.

It's warm, the cooker
works, there's a toilet.

Jesus, Mum, don't
just settle for that.

Compared to most of the world,
we live in the lap of luxury.

- PAUL: Mm-hmm.
- You need to count your blessings.

Mm. Check your
privilege, they say now.

- Is that the same as counting your blessings?
- I think so.

Just you're meant to
feel a bit more guilty.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Brandon's lodged an official
complaint with me and HR

accusing you of using
foul, aggressive,

and offensive language that
borders on workplace bullying.

He said "foul"? Captain-f*cking-Moribund
said "foul," did he?

Anyway, he's my boss.
How can I bully my boss?

I came round because it goes
without saying we'd rather

resolve this grievance
informally, if possible,

- and avoid suspension or...
- Suspension?

Now, obviously there'd
be procedural fairness

- with you being fully supported...
- Mm-hmm.

- in putting your side of events, Paul.
- Hmm.

- But between us, mate...
- Mm-hmm.

If Brandon's right
about what you said...

No, I called him a shithouse.

'Cause he was being a shithouse.

Anyway, it's not like
I called him a c**t.

Sorry. [clears throat]

Okay. I need to stay
in this job, Nadia.

Tell me what I have to do.

To resolve this informally,
Brandon wants a spoken apology,

at work, with me present,

where you admit to threatening
and bullying behavior.

Well, no, I mean he can
f*ck himself to the moon.

I mean really, to the moon.

[both sigh]

Okay.

I understand, yeah.

- Think about it, Paul.
- Mm.

Okay? Call me later.

Yeah. Sorry, it's...

[exhales heavily]

Yeah.

- [upbeat music playing]
- [girls whooping]

Ally doesn't want the
money, Paul. Is that right?

Yeah.

It's complicated, but, um...

She... you know,
she really, uh...

she really
appreciates the offer.

You're gonna have to
be her rock, Paul.

- Sorry, that sounded like "rock pool."
- Ah.

I meant, Paul, you're
gonna have to be her rock.

[chuckling] No, I...
understood, yeah.

I'll be as rocky as I can be.

Uh, excuse me.

[upbeat music continues]

[girls whooping]

- Hi.
- Hey. It's going well, isn't it?

Well, it looks like it. Yeah.

Well done... for persuading
her to have a party.

- I think she'll be really glad of it.
- Oh, I hope so.

Doing something right
would make a change, heh.

So now would be a bad time for
me to lose my job, wouldn't it?

- What? You're losing your job, too?
- No, no, no, no. It's...

It's... there's a
new guy at work.

- Chad?
- Brandon.

- And he's being a bit...
- No, no.

You cannot resign now.

No, we'd have nothing coming in.

No, I know. I won't.

- What's he been doing, this Brad?
- Chad.

- Brandon.
- Brandon. Yeah, um...

He's just a bit... I don't know.

It's... Nothing.
It's fine. It's fine.

Mm.

Right, you lot, after three,

- we're gonna sing "Happy Birthday."
- [doorbell rings]

Right? And if anyone tries to
do the harmony on the last line,

- then you're out on your ear, okay?
- [laughter]

So... one, two, three.

♪ Happy birthday to you

- ♪ Happy birthday to you
-[door opens and closes]

♪ Happy birthday, dear Ava

- GIRL 1: Grace!
- GIRL 2: Oh, my God, Grace.

GIRL 3: You poor thing.
Your poor cousin.

♪ Happy birthday to you

- [whispers] sh*t.
- GIRL 3: I cried so hard...

Gracie, I'm so pleased you
could come. Are you okay?

I'm sorry. I came in
at the wrong time.

Everyone was singing to you.

- It's fine.
- Happy birthday.

Thanks. Come and
have some cake.

[haunting music]

[cell phone chimes]

[indistinct chatter]

PAUL: Right. Birthday girl.

Big blow, please. Make a wish.

[inhales]

[cheers and applause]

Who said cake?
Everyone? All right.

[atmospheric music playing]

[sighs]

When I couldn't
find you, I, uh...

I guessed you'd be here.

[Paul sighs]

It felt horrible.

I didn't want the attention.

Then I did.

Then it went, and I
was so embarrassed.

Yeah, I know.

I despised Grace for stealing
the attention from me.

Then I felt un-Christian.

Hey. You are not
un-Christian, Ava.

You are whatever the
opposite of un-Christian is.

- Christian.
- Oh, yeah.

Then Mum left.

She just walked out.

She'd have known how upset
I was, and she just left.

Well, she'll have a good reason.

Yeah. Just not sure
I like Mum anymore.

Hey, please don't say that.

I love her. She's my mum.

That's how it works, I just...

I just don't think I like her.

Ava.

You're upset, Ava. Okay?

You're upset, and
you're allowed to be.

I didn't want this
stupid party anyway.

No, I know.

I only said yes to
make Mum feel better.

- [cell phone ringing]
- [winces] Sorry.

Mm.

- Hey, hon.
- ALLY: I'm so sorry, love.

I had to rush
out. Is Ava okay?

Uh, yeah, sort of.

I got a text from a
pharmacy about an hour away.

They had my estrogen
gel in stock.

Oh, right. Good.

- You finally scored some of the good stuff.
- Oh, yeah, baby.

It's right in front of me.
I've never been more...

- [crash]
- [Ally shrieks]

Ally?

- [panting]
- Hon? Hello?

[sharp percussive music playing]

Whew! I'm fine. Don't worry.

Bike's a bit bent, but I've just got,
uh, cuts and bruises and a... ooh...

Sort of gash on my
leg, now I look at it.

[Ally whimpers]

[phone chimes]

[snickers] Come in.

- Cuppa tea, mate.
- Oh, lovely. Thank you.

- That's all right.
- How's Mum?

- Oh, my God, Carl. I'm so sorry.
- PAUL: Um, still shaken up.

- CARL: Yep.
- She was terrified she might have maimed someone,

even after she realized
it was only Carl.

- CARL: Oh! Sorry about the tires.
- ALLY: No, you...

- LUKE: And Ava?
- Phew. Not brilliant.

PAUL: Yeah, she's not in the best
of places with Mum at the minute.

And you?

PAUL: Do you know what?
Until recently, I'd never

lost my temper at work.

And I never even raised my
voice. Can you believe that?

- [Paul chuckling]
- No, not really.

Because I thought
work was just work.

Right? And I've since discovered
that's not entirely true.

I just discovered it
a little bit too late.

Oh, man, you gotta do something
you love, Luke, for a living.

[clicks tongue]

Keep practicing, mate.

And I'd like to say, Brandon, that
I wish to apologize, unreservedly,

for the clearly aggressive...

and foul... language
that I used.

Uh... which I now realize

did border on...
workplace bullying.

[Brandon exhales dramatically]

Thank you. It's appreciated.

And it's water under the bridge.

Let's start making some
changes, Paul. What do you say?

- Yeah.
- BRANDON: Yeah?

Great.

Lovely. Can't wait.

[blues music playing]