04x03 - Buster's Breathless/The Fright Stuff

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR:
Hey, D.W.

Hey!

Whoa!

( crash )

( birds chirping )

Shh!

We're hunting
the dangerous snig.

It has big horns

and it makes a
terrifying sound,
like this:

( makes braying noise ):
Aroo...

and it's really hard to find

because it blends in
with the trees.

( D.W. making snig call )

I hear it, I hear it!

This way!

( D.W. continues
calling blandly )

( groans )

D.W., you're not
camouflaged at all!

It's supposed to be
hard to see you.

And the "aroo" has to be
much scarier, like this:

( brays loudly )

Okay, okay.

Why do I always
have to be the snig?

Why can't one of them be
the snig for a change?

There, that should do it.

Once again, we're hunting
the dangerous snig.

It has
big horns and...

They know that, Buster.

( D.W. making snig call )

I hear it!

Let's go!

Roar!

Oh, no!

D.W., you're wearing...

( boys scream )

Poison ivy!

Poison ivy?

I thought we were playing
"dangerous snig."

Arthur, you can't keep
changing games!

Wait up!

It itches, Mommy, it itches!

This calamine lotion
will help.

Look at me...

Everyone's going
to run away from me!

No, they won't, D.W.

You and Buster did.

It'll go away, D.W.

The important thing
is not to scratch.

Arthur will help
distract you.

I will?

D.W., do you have to wear
my hockey mask?

If people can't see me,
they won't run away.

Hi, Arthur!

Hi, D.W.!

I'm not D.W.,
I'm, uh... Otis.

Why do you have
a hockey mask on,
uh... Otis?

I don't want to get hit
in the face with a puck, okay?!

She's got poison ivy

and she thinks people
will run away from her.

I'm supposed
to make her feel better.

Oh...

Hey, Arthur,
remember back in the fall

when I had that
really bad cough?

What cough?

You know, the cough

that started everything.

( coughing )

Look at the joke books
I found in the basement.

( coughing )

Hey, "What did the banana
say to the hippo?"

What?

"Nothing.

Bananas don't talk."

( both laugh heartily )

( hacking )

Buster, are you okay?

( gasping ):
Having... trouble... breathing!

I didn't know what
was wrong with me.

It felt like I was trying
to breathe through a straw.

( sucks air through straw )

I can breathe
through a straw.

A straw that's clogged.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Ahh...

See, you can imagine

how hard it is
to breathe

through a straw
full of milkshake.

No, I can't!

I don't have any milkshake left!

I remember that day.

Your mom came

and took you to
the doctor's right away!

( Buster continues coughing )

This is all
my fault!

How could it be
your fault?

It's because I showed him
those dirty books!

That's what
made him sick!

I just know it!

DOCTOR:
The dust and mold

from the old book
made breathing hard

because you
have asthma.

Asthma?

Does this mean
I can't read books anymore

or tell jokes or laugh?

Don't worry--
if you take your medicine

you can do
all the things you like.

BUSTER:
It didn't seem like
such a big deal... to me.

If he gets even
one little bit
of dust up his nose

he can't breathe!

It could
happen anytime!

Is asthma contagious?

Shh! There he is!

Hi, guys.

Hi, Buster!

Here, let me take
those for you!

There you go, buddy,
all clean now!

Uh... thanks.

Has anyone seen
my penicillin...?

I mean, pencil and pen.

So, Buster,
if your asthma goes off

do you get
to leave class?

Uh, maybe--
just to get my medicine.

Just to get
your... medicine?

I bet that could take
a long time.

Uh...

I'll see you guys
in the cafeteria.

I have to go
to the nurse's office.

Why is he going there?

Maybe they're going to move him

to a special school
for sick kids.

He's faking it
to go home early.

See, I knew
he was faking it.

He's just playing
the kazoo.

That's his inhaler.

He's taking medicine
to help him breathe.

( yelling, groaning )

What are you guys doing here?

You found my glasses!

We were just looking for them.

Now we can all go to lunch.

( inhaler sprays )

Watch out, Buster!

Here you go;
it's safe now.

( inhaler sprays )

( gasping )

Can't breathe!

Tell the nurse!

I think I have plasma!

Don't you mean
"asthma," Binky?

Oh, stupid word--

too many consonants

all smooshed
together!

( inhaler sprays )

Why did you do that?

You had me out.

It... was an accident.

You had me out.

No, it wasn't;

I saw you drop
the ball on purpose.

What's wrong? Are you okay?

Stay away!

Stay away!

Oh!
Gotcha!

Guess what?

I'm cured!

Really?
Are you sure?

Sure I'm sure.

Could I do this
if I had asthma?

( inhales deeply )

Ahh... math.

But that's not an old book.

Yeah, but it must have some dust
in it-- I've never opened it.

So you don't have to use
that kazoo anymore?

Nope.

Well, I'm glad
that's over.

Now I don't have to worry
about catching asthma.

( inhaler sprays )

What is it, Buster?

Uh...

It's Boston cream
pie today.

If we don't hurry,
it'll all be gone.

Yeah, pie... let's get that pie!

( inhaler sprays )

( kids yelling )

BUSTER:
Over here, I'm open!

( panting )

Hooray!

( coughing )

That's one...

( coughing )

To nothing...

Binky.

Are you okay,
Buster?

Maybe I should go
get the nurse.

( gasping )

I-I'm fine...

just need...
a glass of water,
that's all...

( inhaler sprays )

( inhaling )

Ahh... that's much better.

It's important
to take your medicine.

Why'd you skip
your appointment?

I didn't want my friends
to know about it.

They've been treating me
really weird.

Do you think maybe
they don't understand?

Maybe... maybe that's it.

( inhaler sprays )

( balloons squeaking
against shirt )

And that's an example
of static electricity.

Thank you.

My science report
is about asthma.

But first I need you to imagine
that you're very, very small.

You're not imagining it!

I really want you to imagine it.

BUSTER:
Very good.

Now I want you all up my nose
on the double!

( inhaling deeply )

ALL:
Whoa!

( air whooshing, rumbling )

Watch your step.

No flash photography.

I don't think
I've ever been

in anyone's
lungs before.

BOY ( in distance ):
Help, I'm stuck
in some pie!

Oh, no! George went down
the wrong way!

He's in my stomach!

Yuck! Custard pie.

Stick with
the group, George.

You could get
lost in here!

Is this where
the asthma is?

Is it a giant bug
that'll attack us?

No, no, asthma
is just a word

for what happens
to my lungs

when I breathe
in dust or mold,
like this.

See, the walls
are getting smaller!

This is when
I usually start to cough!

Hold on!

( loud, deep coughs )

( others screaming )

( coughs )

Boy, he sure is
a good storyteller.

That felt so real!

Ugh!

And asthma is not contagious.

Any questions?

Are you trying
to tell us something?

Yeah, I'm still
the same old Buster.

I just have asthma...
like I have big ears.

"Same old Buster..."
"Big ears."

I'm going to ace this test!

( class applauding )

Once they
understood it

it wasn't such
a big deal anymore.

Hey, I bet if someone's afraid
of my poison ivy

I should just explain it.

Hey, you're not Otis,
you're D.W.!

Sorry I had to fool you.

( gasping )

Look, Tommy!

D.W.'s got
the chicken poxes!

No, I don't,
it's just poison ivy.

It's no big deal.

TOMMY:
Don't come
any closer!

We'll catch it!

No, you won't.

I'll tell you
all about it.

Then you'll understand.

TIBBLES:
No!

Come back here
and let me make
you smarter!

I got it from a plant, and it'll
be gone in a couple of days

and the white stuff's
called Calamine lotion.

Hey, wait up, there's more!

( screeching )

Got you, didn't I?

I love practical jokes.

You never know
when one's going to...

Sneak up on you.

Or who might be
behind it.

Aah!

See what I mean?

...Mmm.

Spaghetti.

Aah!

Worms! Yuck!

( giggles )

They aren't real, Brain.

They're jelly worms.

( scary laugh )

Oops.

I forgot my science book.

That's funny.

Something's stuck to it.

( screams )

Get it off, get it off!

No, no!

Why?

It's just a toy.

What's this?

Hmm.

( scary laugh )

Hey!

( screams )

Who are you?

FRANCINE:
So, someone's
scaring you guys

with a few practical
jokes, so what?

So what?

So, it's working, that's what.

ARTHUR:
And the mystery joker
left these notes

telling us
to meet him here.

Why a him?

Maybe it's an it.

F-F-F-Francine.

Buster, calm down.

You're acting
like you just saw a...

Monster!

( all gasping )

( laughing )

Wow, you guys should've seen
the looks on your faces.

What's this
all about?

It's about
my party, silly.

What party?

The costume party I'm having

in honor of the new
"scare your pants off" book.

House of the
Jackal Lantern.

Cool.

And the Author,
E.A. Depoe

Is going to
read it to us.

After all, she was daddy's
favorite teacher, Ms. McWord

and he likes her books
as much as we do.

And after what
you did to me on
April Fool's Day

you guys are going to be
my extra-special guests.

( Muffy screaming )

Shh!

But... but...
but...

She sounds like
a motor boat.

( all giggling )

Extra-special
guests, huh?

Cool-- so, where
is this party?

Castle Manor-- daddy bought it

to make it into
an antique car museum.

Castle Manor?

Hasn't that place been empty
for over years?

Yeah-- isn't it supposed to be,
um, you know...

Haunted?

That's why
it's perfect

For a "Scare Your
Pants Off" party.

You don't have to come

if you're so afraid.

BINKY ( relieved ):
Really?

I mean, we're not
afraid of anything.

Right, guys?

ALL:
No, come on,
absolutely not.

Who are you talking to?

Aah!
Oh, yeah?

We'll see about that.

( laughing )

The older I get,
the more I think

that there's nothing
scarier than girls.

( scary laugh )

If the girls
could scare us

that bad at school

how will
we survive
their party?

We won't, unless we
beat them to the scare.

How?

Easy.

We know those books
better than anyone.

We can come up with
something scarier
than they can.

Yeah, like in The Thing
at the Head of the Class.

Or It Came from
Under the Soap Dish.

How about something
really scary?

Like Edgar Allan Poe's
"The Telltale Heart."

( gasping )

( both sigh in relief )

( gasps )
( gasps )

No candy!
No candy!

( screaming )
( screaming )

Whoa!

Nah, The w*r of the Worlds

By H.G. Wells is scarier.

Aah!

( shakily ):
Greetings... friends.

Friends?

Darn pleased
to meet you.

( screaming )

It's perfect.

All we need is a real U.F.O.,
two real aliens and...

Oh, yeah.

On second
thought...

What about a
headless horse guy?

like in "The Legend
of Creepy Hollow"?

You mean
"Sleepy Hollow."

Whatever.

MUFFY:
It's the headless
horse guy!

Run!

( moaning creepily )

( screaming )

Whoa! Oh! Ow!

( groaning )

Where'd you learn
to be a horse guy?

Me?

I'm headless.

I'm not supposed to see.

No, no, no.

This is
what we do.

( Arthur whispering )

Man, that is good.

BUSTER:
Yeah, maybe this party
won't be so bad after all.

Okay, turn off the lights.

( switch clicks )

( screams and moans play
on tape )

( gasps )

How'd you do that?

They're balloons painted
with glow-in-the-dark colors.

Just like the ghost rain
in the book-- cool, huh?

Are we going to scare
their pants off!

Hey, don't do that.

I didn't.

( switch clicks )

Come on, I better
tell daddy

that the lights
need fixing.

( door hinge creaks )

( scary laugh )

( growling )

Guys, I think we're going
to scare their pants off.

Man, I'm going to be part of the
best practical joke in history.

( scary laugh )

( rock music playing )

( kids chatting and laughing )

When are we going
to scare them?

Later, after
Ms. McWord's reading.

( scary laugh )

( skulls clank )

Everyone, please take
your seats.

And may I introduce our ghost
of a host, Ms. McWord.

( whispering ):
Thanks for coming.

It's going to be fun.

Muffy, I think so, too.

( scary laugh )

BUSTER:
It's too crowded.

We can't set up
the scare.

I found the perfect spot:
the upstairs library.

Go on up.

Yeah!
Yeah!

Wait.

Where's Binky?

We thought
he was with you.

Binky, where
have you been?

The guys are upstairs
in the library.

You can get
a drink later.

Get going.

MUFFY:
Arthur.

ARTHUR:
Aah!

You're going to
miss the story.

I-I was looking for you.

What for?

Um, I heard
a weird noise upstairs.

You did? Where?

ARTHUR:
In the library.

Come on,
I'll show you.

He's going to walk
right into our prank.

It's too perfect.

McWORD:
"And then
Tony, Mooch and Al knew

"the only way to prove
their bravery

"was to spend the night

in the dreaded house
of the jackal lantern."

( scary laugh )

I'm sure it was in here.

( switch clicks )

( whispering ):
What are you waiting for?

I can't find it.

( loudly ):
Like I said,
I'm sure it was in here.

( gasps )

( gasps )

( snickering )

( girls screaming )

Pretty cool prank, huh?

That was mean!

Yeah.

And worse than that,
you stole our prank.

What?

Guys, did you steal their prank?

Binky? Brain? Buster?

BUSTER:
Here we are.

( whispering ):
We have to get them
in the playroom.

Yeah, the library was locked.

We set up in the playroom.

What are you talking about?

It's not locked.

It worked perfectly.

We didn't do it.

There's a bunch of
balloons in there--

a neat old
tape recorder, too.

Did you put
them in there?

Okay, Binky,
what's going on?

BINKY ( panting ):
Sorry I'm late.

I broke my pumpkin.

Can I be a
cyclops instead?

Binky, if you
just got here

then who is...?

( all screaming )

MUFFY:
A real ghost...
upstairs!

Muffy, this isn't
the time or place

for your silly pranks.

It's not a prank, sir!

No, we were
pulling a prank
on the girls...

and we were
pulling a prank
on the boys...

Muffy, what have I told you...

( echoing ):
...about playing pranks
on people?

That it's mean-spirited

and always comes
back to haunt you.

Because when pranks
get out of hand

someone could get hurt.

And their feelings
surely get hurt.

The boy asked me to help them.

I just wanted to go
to the party.

There are better ways
to have fun.

MUFFY:
We're sorry.

But there really
was a gho...

No more-- go have fun.

MUFFY:
Boy, am I ever
done with pranks!

I don't care how
much you prank me.

ARTHUR:
I'm not pranking
anyone-- ever.

Hey, cool costume.

( echoing ):
Thanks.

Yours is cool, too.

Oops.

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪