09x08 - The "A" Team/Emily Swallows a Horse

[bunniefuu]

# Every day when you're walking down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

- # And I say, hey!
- Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day

# You can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You've got to listen to your heart Listen to the b*at

# Listen to the rhythm Rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes Open up your ears

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

- # And I say, hey!
- Hey!
- What a wonderful kind of day

# You can learn to work and play

- # And get along with each other
- Hey!

- # What a wonderful kind of day
- Hey!

- # What a wonderful kind of day
- Hey!
- #

Hey, DW!

- Hey!
- Who-o-oa!

- It's up to us! Everyone else is... you know.
- WHISTLE BLOWS

Francine!

WHISTLE BLOWS

Ow! Oh! Ow!

Francine has a point about her and Brian,

they're way better at soccer than everyone else on our team

but that doesn't mean that we're...

The laughing stocks of Elwood City!

There's a game on here! Quit clowning around!

Aye, aye, Captain Frensky!

Oops.

Penalty kick for our side!

- WHISTLE BLOWS
- Just a minute, Francine,

- it's Sue Ellen's turn.
- Oh, no!

CROWD CHEER

Yee-ha!

Look at this team - what a joke!

- There's no drive, no desire...
- Practice hasn't even started yet.

We're supposed to be goofing around.

Today we're going to start with the "eyes on the ball" drill.

- In this drill we sharpen our focus by keeping our...
- Eyes on the ball?

- That's right, and...
- Excuse me, coach...

I think we covered "eyes on the ball" in kindergarten.

That's what fundamentals are.

They're things you learn first and practice the rest of your life.

And today we're focusing on fundamental number one -

the ball.

And keeping our eyes on it.

Let me hear you now - eyes on the ball!

Eyes on the ball! Eyes on the ball!

Hey, I saw you playing soccer out there. Well, trying to, anyway.

You've got some really good moves.

Yeah? Thanks.

You guys do a lot of basic drills. There's nothing wrong with that,

but you seem more advanced.

- Ever hear of the county-wide soccer league?
- The travel teams? Sure.

I'm on one of them - the Elwood City All-Stars.

- We're having trials this Saturday - you should check it out.
- Thanks.

"Take your game to the next level."

- CROWD CHEER
- Yes!

- Brain!
- Hi!
- Isn't this unbelievable?

Did you see some of the stuff they're doing?

- It's great. And best of all no...
- BOTH: Eyes on the ball!

Go! Go, go, go, go, go!

Not bad, Barrettes!

We'll let you know.

Those kids are really good!

Think we'll make it?

Wow!

- Yeah, wow!
- Uh!

Pretty cool, huh?

I'll say. It's almost feels like silk.

- Can you get me one?
- They're for Elwood City All-Star players only.

You should see the teams we play against.

Belmont, Wyuka! You get to go everywhere!

You're gonna be on two soccer teams and one of them travels!

When will you have time for your homework?

We're not gonna be in two teams.

- A lot of the practices conflict.
- Oh.

But we'll never forget you guys,

it's just time for Brain and I to take our game to the next level.

You understand.

Have a good time, kids!

WHISTLE BLOWS New guy!

Yeah, you. In line here!

- Barrettes?
- Yes, sir!

On the left. Try to keep up, guys.

Tag the line!

And back.

Tag the line!

Barrettes, you gonna make it?

That's what I like to see - mental toughness.

OK, everybody, two laps to cool down!

This cup feels like it's lb.

I know. Who knew it was such a long way to the next level?

Hey, guys! Pretty intense, huh?

- You said it.
- You bet.

Team! Jordan has decided to leave the team.

He has...other commitments.

CHILDREN SCOFF AT THIS

There's nothing wrong with other commitments -

better to realise that now than later,

cos I want this team to give %. Are you ready to give me that?

ALL: Yes, sir!

Good. I've scheduled an extra practice this Thursday.

Here are reminder notes for your parents.

BOTH: We're not quitters.

Let's settle down, people. There are a couple of announcements.

- Alan?
- I'm not going to be president of the computer club any more.

- I don't have the time.
- CHILDREN GASP

But who's going to head up the club?

I will be your new driver on the information super roadway.

We won't gigabyte off more than we can chew!

Ha-ha-ha!

I'm sorry.

I'm a little surprised there's practice today.

Coach only cancels for lightening.

Your old team cancelled for rain.

What if someone slips and gets injured?

My old team wasn't going to take me to the next level.

- What happens at the next level - you play during blizzards?
- Dad!

Who-hoo! Way to go, Brain! Excellent pass!

New guy, there was a higher percentage pass on your other side.

See the whole field, people!

I still thought that was pretty good.

The passing is getting sloppy, people.

We've got to work on the "give and go".

Ray, Helga, demonstrate!

Good. Barrettes, New guy, you try it!

Wake up those tootsies, Barrettes!

You gotta give, then go, go, go!

- Oh.
- Break anything, Barrettes?

Then on your feet! This isn't a spa!

Team, little talk. Next game's a scrimmage, thank goodness.

We've been invited by Coach Crosswire over in Lakewood to play his team!

- THEY LAUGH
- Oh, no(!) We better schedule extra practices(!)
- They're not that bad.

Barrettes is right.

Anyway it doesn't matter how bad THEY are,

I still want you to give %.

Is that clear?

ALL: Yes, sir! Good.

Line up for sprint relays.

We're gonna cream them.

This is one game I'm not looking forward to winning.

That's not all I'm not looking forward to.

- But you're not thinking of quitting, are you?
- No.

Are you?

This web spot will tell you the temperature in any city anywhere.

Oh, no, it disappeared.

- What have I done?
- The computer went to sleep.

- Just move the mouse or hit a key to wake it up.
- Fascinating.

- Why don't you join us...please.
- I can't.

I have soccer practice.

Let's try something a little simpler.

Now this button is called the shift key.

Lakewood is two players short.

Usually this is a default situation, but we've come all this way

and we want to demonstrate our superior might.

Right? ALL: Right!

So we're going to loan them two players.

New guy, Barrettes, see you after the game!

Come on! Focus!

Buster!

All right, Buster! You almost had it!

- WHISTLE BLOWS
- Nice try!
- You too.

What are we waiting for?

Good eye, Binky! Just figure out your options!

Go, Brain!

BOTH: Wow! Ooh!

CHEERING AS THE WHISTLE BLOWS

OK, team, we'll de-brief before we head back!

Terrific game, team. Just terrific!

But we lost - , Daddy.

So? You actually scored on the Elwood City All-Stars.

You played like a finely-tuned machine

and that calls for a little high-octane fuel.

Pizza and ice cream!

ALL: Yeah!

WHISTLE BLOWS TWICE

I think you two are wanted across the field.

It was really great having you two back for a game.

Things just haven't been the same since you quit.

Wait a second, we made a pact never to quit, right?

- Right.
- Well, we already broke it.

We broke it when we quit them -

our real team.

So you're saying that quitting the All-Stars wouldn't be quitting,

it would be renewing our dedication to a previous commitment.

Er, yeah. With pizza.

Pair up, everybody, this "give and go" drill is a beauty.

So the coach didn't mind letting you go?

He said he loses three kids a season on average.

I also told him the computer club was going to dissolve

unless I took it over again.

Well, kids, it just goes to show you,

sometimes you quit when you win, and sometimes you win when you quit.

# There was an old lady who swallowed a goat

# Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat

# She swallowed the goat to catch the dog

# She swallowed the dog to catch the cat

# She swallowed the cat to catch the bird

# She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

# That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her

# She swallowed the spider to catch the fly

# But I don't know why she swallowed that fly

# Perhaps she'll die!

# There was an old lady who swallowed a horse

# She d*ed of course! #

THEY ALL LAUGH

Wasn't that fun, boys and girls?

OK, everyone, time for a nap.

Find your places.

I don't understand that song.

Why did the old lady swallow a horse?

To catch the goat.

To catch the dog to catch the cat

- to catch the bird to catch the spider...
- I know all that.

But why? Why'd she swallow the fly in the first place?

That's gross!

I'd eat a fly if it was covered in chocolate.

- Would not.
- Would too!

THEY GRUNT AND GROAN

Emily, people do all sorts of strange things for no reason at all.

Look at those guys.

DW YAWNS

NEIGH!

Higher, James. Come on. Put some muscle into it!

Hold it!

Hey, this is pretty!

Let me see! Let me see!

Give me it! Give me!

It's mine, let go of it! Let go!

THEY FIGHT AND SHOUT

Hand it over, that's mine.

No, it isn't.

I...I dropped it earlier.

You did? Well, where'd you get it?

Marie-Helene gave it to me.

She...she brought it back with her on her trip to France.

Ahem. It's called a cheval.

That's French for ball.

OK.

Hey, maybe Marie-Helene has another cheval for me.

I'll ask her about it when she comes to pick you up from school today.

GULP!

Erm, Marie-Helene may not be able to talk to you, DW.

She's really, really busy.

Oh, this won't take long.

- DW!
- ]

Mom! Can we just wait one minute?

- I have to ask...
- Sorry, yoga class is in minutes.

BEEP-BEEP!

There's Marie-Helene. See you, DW.

TV: 'Doctor, will she be all right?'

'She'll live, but we've discovered something, Shelby.

'Kara is your twin sister.'

DOORBELL

EMILY GASPS

I'll get it. Stay here and tell me what happens.

Hi, Emily. Is Marie-Helene at home?

Erm, yeah...

but you can't come in.

Why not?

Because... Because...

Cos she's sick!

She is?

Yeah. Really sick. The doctor said it might be something called...

Um... Halitosis.

It's very dangerous.

COUGH-COUGH!

I may be getting it too,

but come on in if you want.

Just try not to breathe too much.

Um, that's OK. I have to go home...

- Right now!
- Me too.

Here, get well.

- [
- Emily? Who is there?

It's just DW. I've got it.

Don't get up, you need your rest.

Poor Marie-Helene.

Gotta run!

Hmm...

Where is DW? Didn't you invite her in?

Oh, she was in a rush. She just stopped by to give me these.

Want some ice-cream on this?

EMILY SIGHS

Ah!

COUGH-COUGH!

EMILY CARRIES ON COUGHING

I just know she's lying.

I mean, who eats ice-cream when they're sick?

I do. So do you.

Everyone does.

That's true... OK, maybe it was the WAY she was scooping it,

like she had something to hide.

Maybe Marie-Helene really is sick.

Of course you would defend her, you are a snowball thief!

Aha! There's your proof.

What? What am I looking at?

Sit here, Emily.

How are you feeling?

Are you feeling better? You seemed really sick yesterday.

Um...yeah, much better.

I - ahem - took some medicine.

Ha! You're lying!

Oh! Tommy! You ruined the trap.

You're supposed to wait until she says Marie-Helene is still sick.

Sorry, I forgot.

But...

But she IS still sick.

Oh, really?

Then why did I see her buying strawberries at the supermarket?

Because... Because...

That wasn't Marie-Helene.

That was Helene-Marie!

Her twin sister.

THEY GASP

Oh, come on!

What? My parents had to get someone to take care of me

now that Marie-Helene is in the hospital.

The hospital?

Yes, her halitosis has gotten much worse.

Helene-Marie is SO worried about her.

We all are.

I would be too.

I give up!

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mrs Reed. Hold on.

I'll get her. Mommy!

She'll be right down.

DW just told me about Marie-Helene, Emily.

This must be so hard for you.

Emily?

- Hello?
- Actually, my mom just stepped out, Mrs Reed.

I'll have her call you, bye!

Never mind, it was a tele-marketer.

I'm going to bed. I don't feel so well.

EMILY GROANS

NEIGH!

Where are we going?

Anywhere we can! She's after us.

- Who?
- Her.

Come back here, you lying liar!

Oh! Faster, faster.

She mustn't catch me.

NEIGH!

Oh, no. It's a dead end.

What are we going to do?

- [
- Psst.

Over here. I can help you.

You poor dears.

You must be famished.

Running away from that giant.

Actually, I am quite peckish.

Are you sure we're safe here?

Oh, yes. Don't worry about a thing.

I have magical powers that will protect you here.

Why don't you try one of these?

It doesn't taste like anything at all. What is it?

- A fly.
- A fly?!

I didn't want to eat a fly.

BUZZ-BUZZ!

Uh! I can feel it buzzing.

Yes. They disagree with me too sometimes.

Best thing for it is to eat one of these.

EMILY GASPS

And if the spiders upset you,

you just chase it with a bird.

CAW-CAW!

Then...a cat!

Then a dog, then a goat!

Well, tuck in.

Don't be bashful.

You're the old lady from that song.

There's no way you could have eaten all these things.

Well...

Oh...maybe I told a little fib,

and then I couldn't stop telling them.

TIMBER CREAKS AND SPLINTERS

Oh!

I...um...don't have magical powers either.

EMILY SCREAMS

I'm sorry, DW.

I don't know why I lied.

Please! I'll give you the ball.

I suppose it wasn't a complete lie.

Who knows? I just might wind up eating a horse.

NEIGH-NEIGH!

EMILY GASPS

Mom.

I have to tell you something.

So then...I had to tell another lie

to cover up the first lie,

and it just kept getting bigger and bigger.

So...there is no Helene-Marie?

We were gonna give her these,

so people wouldn't confuse the two of them.

I'm sorry, Timmy.

But why did you lie to us in the first place?

We're your friends.

Because I wanted this.

Here, it's yours. You found it.

All that lying for a little rubber ball?

You can keep it.

No way. After all the trouble it caused me,

I never want to see that thing again.

It doesn't even bounce that well. Let's leave it here.

Wanna play tag?

You're it!

EVERYONE LAUGHS

# And I say, hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other HEY!

# What a wonderful kind of day HEY!

# What a wonderful kind of day HEY! #