05x16 - My Family, My Blood

[bunniefuu]

Have you seen Blake?

He's in an early meeting.
He should be back soon.

Well, have you seen this?
The Atlanta Mirror?

You'd think there'd be more
important news than the battle

to reopen my grandfather's will.
What are you doing?

Trikonasana. You should try it.
It relieves stress.

No, I mean
what are you doing about the case?

And can you please stand up?

It's hurting my neck to
talk to you like this.

The only amm*nit*on Ben has

is a copy of Thomas's outdated will

in which Ben was named a beneficiary.

Yes. I know that.

We all know that, thanks to Amanda.
What else?

Blake is with his lawyers,
who are in the process

of filing a motion to
dismiss the case right now,

so you should try not to worry.

All I'm trying to do is figure out

why Blake isn't taking a
more aggressive approach.

Letting the lawyers handle it

is what scared people do.
Or guilty people.

What is wrong with him?

It was my idea to use the lawyers

and not engage Ben directly.

After my experience with Beto,

I know what it's like to get wrapped up

- with an angry brother.
- Exactly.

Your genius approach with Beto
got you trapped in a basement

and replaced with a clone.

(THUD)

ALEXIS:
Be careful with that wardrobe box.

I can't have my husband
coming home from a work trip

to find his Brunello
Cucinelli suits torn.

- (RATTLES)
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Looks like you're knee-deep
in wedding presents.

ALEXIS: A wedding you crashed,

- I seem to recall.
- That's what these are for.

I'm sorry if I, uh, stole your thunder

- with my dramatic entrance.
- Don't worry.

My children had already done that.

Besides, your arrival pissed off Blake,

so it wasn't all bad.

Along those lines,
I could use your help.

I figured there was another
reason for the flowers.

BEN: Got a plan in motion
to win my court battle,

but I'm looking for some insurance.

Well, I heard about that from Fallon.

How can I be of service
in the w*r of the will?

Well, before our mother d*ed,

I know Blake tried to put her
in an assisted living facility.

And I want to show that it was

- not because he was concerned for her.
- ALEXIS: But rather

because he couldn't be bothered
to take care of her himself?

Right. He's playing the
dutiful son in public,

but any communication
between him and that facility

would tell a different story.

So, if you can make people
believe that Blake

was the negligent one
in terms of your mother,

that would raise reasonable
doubt that you were.

Exactly. And in that case,

Blake pressuring my
father to disinherit me

would be illegal,
and that'll reopen the will.

While I believe Blake deserves
everything coming to him,

I have no access to any of that anymore.

Mm. Figured as much.

It was worth a sh*t.

However,

I wish you luck,
and I will enjoy the show.

- Did you book the trio for next Jazz Night?
- Booked and confirmed.

And you got the extra cases of wine

- for the Breslin wedding this weekend?
- Check.

Oh, and can you meet with
the new waitress I hired?

No, restaurant personnel is your thing.

Yes, that's true.

Except when I hire someone
I'd like you to meet

because she would be perfect for you.

No more setups. I thought I was clear.

- We're not doing this anymore.
- You were clear.

But I still feel guilty about
how things went down with Sasha

when I kind of,
sort of broke you guys up.

- (MICHAEL SIGHS)
- I want to make it up to you.

That wasn't your fault.

Anyway, you can make it up
to me by just hanging out.

Let's go see that Chinese film

- playing at the independent theater in Midtown tonight.
- Hen hao.

As an international businessman,

I speak a little bit
of a lot of languages.

- And that means "very good." I'm in.
- Perfect.

Uh, one more thing.

If you're not gonna date the waitress,

do you mind f*ring her?

She's been getting a lot of complaints

in the last three days,

and, uh,
I was only keeping her on for you.

Hmm. Not happening.

DOMINIQUE: Where is everyone?

And, more importantly,
where is breakfast?

Blake told Mrs. Gunnerson
not to lay out a big spread

because he went to an
early breakfast meeting,

so apparently if Blake doesn't
need to eat, then none of us do.

I wanted celebratory mimosas,

but the celebration is
missing from my juice.

- And so is the audience.
- LIAM: Oh, yeah?

- Why? What are you celebrating?
- DOMINIQUE: Dom-Mystique

was selected as a Final Five Finalist

for the NordicStar Airline
uniform design contest.

- I'll settle for your solo admiration.
- Hey.

Congratulations.

Well, that was a little perfunctory.

(WHOOPS)

- Congratulations!
- Better.

Actually, I just signed the
paperwork for my next book deal,

so you could be congratulating me.

Congratulations!

You're right, that does feel good.

Told you. So, what are you planning
to write about?

Actually, I'm not sure.
You know, the good news is

I have a ton of ideas.
I just don't know which one's right.

I could help you choose.
I'm a very creative person.

Did I mention I made the Final Five?

Yeah, you did. Twice now.

But you can text me the news again

if you want to go for the trifecta.

Your sarcasm aside,
the offer still stands.

I'm actually headed out to
meet my old writing professor

to talk through the ideas, but hey,

if he's not helpful,
at least now I know who to call.

Just like you know who to
call if you need fashion tips.

Right.

Shouldn't you be breakfasting
with your new favorite brother?

So I talked to Ben. Big deal.

Just like I told him,
I'm not taking sides in this w*r.

You should take sides.
There's no room for Switzerland.

We need to talk about how
to fight back against Ben.

That? See? That's support.

Not too late to jump
to the winning side.

I wouldn't be so cocky.

Ben said he talked to
Thomas's old lawyer

and found out you had

several conversations
after your mother d*ed.

You better watch out.

Why? Those conversations are privileged.

Not if they're illegal.
You can't pressure someone

to change their will based
on false information.

So Ben

is going to subpoena those documents

to prove you did it.

Luckily, none of it involves me,

so ta-ta.

Is that true? Did you meet with
Grandfather's lawyer back then?

Yeah,
I met with Joel Harris a few times.

And I told him to advise my
father to cut Ben out of the will

not because of some false information

but based on the fact that
Ben k*lled our mother.

I don't think any of
this matters in court.

You are once again downplaying
the danger of the situation.

I agree. Harris always had someone

taking notes during meetings.

Those transcripts must be
what Ben's trying to subpoena.

So we just have to find a way
to stop that from happening.

If we get caught
tampering with evidence,

it'll only make things much worse.

So then we won't get caught.
What else are we gonna do,

cross our fingers and
hope that the lawyers

have the case tossed out?
No. That's not gonna work.

What exactly do you suggest we do?

- Destroy the records.
- Destroy the records.

- You see? This is the Carrington way.
- CRISTAL: What is?

Going to jail before
the trial even begins?

- Blake.
- No, I'm with Fallon on this.

If we cut Ben off at the
knees before the trial starts,

it's worth the risk.
I'm glad you're in my corner.

Well, it's not just about you anymore.

It's about everything
I've been working towards

and the legacy I'm
building for my family.

Well, I take it back, then.

Too late. I'm not having my child

born into a Carrington w*r.

I want him or her growing up

knowing that we are doing
a lot of good in the world.

- All of us want that, Fallon.
- FALLON: Maybe.

But I'm the one who's actually willing

to do something about it.

♪ ♪

Oh, I'm sorry. The club's not open yet.

- Not for a few more hours.
- GENEVA: Well, then,

I'm sorry. (CHUCKLES)

I was just looking for
a place to grab a beer,

watch the Atlantix game.

Oh, you should go over to La Mirage.

Actually,

if you give me a couple seconds,

I can walk you over to the bar,

put the game on for you.

That'd be great. Thanks.

By any chance,
do they have a chocolate tart?

I have a sweet tooth

that's calling for some attention.
Unless it's a cavity.

They do indeed serve a chocolate tart,

which happens to be my favorite dessert.

- So, you love beer, soccer and chocolate?
- Yeah.

Did Sam put you up to this?

- Are you a waitress?
- I have no idea who Sam is

or why you think I work in hospitality,

but as long as you're walking me over,

you want to join me for
the game and some dessert?

This may sound weird,

especially since we
met four seconds ago,

- but I'm not really looking to date anyone right now.
- Ah.

Neither am I. Another
thing we have in common.

This would be a not-date. No strings.

So, a stringless not-date.

- (CHUCKLES)
- That I can probably do.

But I still have a little more work,
so is it okay

if our not-date happened later tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, that works for me.

ALEXIS: No need to panic

when you have the key to
eternal youth right here.

DOMINIQUE: That skin cream

may keep your face young
for a little while,

but use too much, and you'll end up

with a rapidly deteriorating brain

- like this one.
- (LAUGHS)

The only thing rapidly deteriorating

is my patience for you.

Well, then you should be
happy that you get to handle

the FSN anniversary show by yourself.

- (GASPS)
- (CHUCKLES) I'll miss you, Dominoes.

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- But I have a brief hiatus

to work on my Final Five project

- for NordicStar.
- Oh, that's too bad.

"We'll miss you," said no one.

Well, that's our show.
One of us will see you tomorrow.

- (BELL RINGS)
- DIRECTOR: Okay, that's a wrap.

Try not to mess it up while I'm gone.

Try not to come back.

(APPLAUSE)

Great show, Mother.
And Dom's temporary absence is perfect.

I can step in and talk
up my Adam Injection.

First, don't ever call it that again.
Second,

the injectable is not a
direct-to-consumer product.

It doesn't belong on FSN.

It needs to be sold
in a doctor's office.

No, I don't want to sell it on FSN.
I want to build buzz.

I want, to, you know,
talk about the injection on air,

encourage women to go
to their dermatologists.

You know, research shows that
sales double when patients

make requests. Do you have a tic,

or are you just so used
to saying no to me?

I am the face of the company. Not you.

Let's not confuse things.

The only confusion is why
you wouldn't do something

that would help the company.

I understand, but I don't trust you

to announce the injectable on air.

You are a bit of a wild card.

But don't worry, dear.

We'll work on the launch
strategy together.

Later.

But...

KINGSTON: These ideas are all very...
workmanlike.

I'm gonna choose to not take that
as the insult it sounds like.

Well, I guess that's your choice.

- Is there one idea that you like?
- Which idea I like

is unrelated to what you should write.

Where's the confidence you
used to wear like armor

when you first set foot
in my lecture hall?

(CHUCKLES):
That was a long time ago, Professor.

Look, and honestly,
I-I reached out to you because I'm not

feeling confident at all these days.

I mean, the pressure
of living up to my last book

and now movie? Like, it's just...

It's messing with my head.

Oh, I've been there. A million ideas

and no depth to any of them.

Well, I didn't say that.

No, I did.

That's what's happening here, Liam.

You're swimming in the shallow end.

- Okay, so, how do I get to the deep end?
- That's up to you.

I don't teach swimming.
I teach literature.

- (SCOFFS SOFTLY)
- Look, why don't you come talk to my class next week?

- You can tell them what it's like to be a professional writer.
- (CHUCKLES)

Look, as much as I would
love humiliating myself

in front of your class, I think I, uh,

need to focus on
getting to the deep end.

Okay.

Just don't drown in metaphors.

So, I spoke to a contact in Savannah

who's worked with Harris,

and he does still have a secretary

who transcribes every
client conversation.

So what now?
You go in pretending to be a new client

worried about confidentiality

and ask where the
conversations are stored?

I was gonna make it sound
much more exciting than that,

but yeah, that's basically the plan.

I think that's too risky.

I can just have one of my
guys can break in after hours

and steal the records.

We still don't know where
the files are stored.

And Harris's assistant is
a sweet old lady named Ida

who loves to gab. It'll be perfect.

Old ladies love me.

Well, they don't hate me.

Let me go to Savannah with you.

Obviously, Blake can't go
because Harris knows him.

Does he know you?

Well, he hasn't seen me
since I was a child.

But I don't want you
coming to Savannah with me.

You just don't have
the Carrington backbone

for this type of thing. No offense.

Well, guess what? I'm offended.

See? No backbone.

Enough! All right?

You need her help, Fallon.

Someone needs to deal with Harris

while you find the files.

We're all on the same team here.

And some of us know how to
play better with others.

She goes with you.

Fine. She can come with me.

Just don't get in my way.

Saw your post on social
media about the Final Five.

Thought you might want to celebrate.

Nothing personal,
but I'm not really in the mood

for celebrating right now.

Why? Did something happen?

What happened is it's one
thing to wow on the page.

It's another to go from
the page to the stage.

(SIGHS) Do you remember
the party I threw

after my junior prom?

(CHUCKLES) I don't remember much of it.

Probably because of that same
cheap liquor you brought over.

- You still drink that stuff?
- (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, on special occasions.

Your mom was so mad when she found out

you'd snuck out to party with us.
You remember?

Especially because my
friends were all so into you.

She grounded me for a month.
That much I do remember.

Point is, you have a wow
factor without even trying.

So just treat the judges of
this contest the same way.

Do your thing, and you'll be amazing.

That's easier said than done.

You know, a critic once said

that Marc Chagall couldn't draw well,

but the Four Seasons

is one of the most beautiful
mosaics I've ever seen.

He wouldn't have made that
piece if he gave a crap

about what other people thought of him.

You have just given me a delicious idea.

Maybe I can do my version

of the Four Seasons.

- A uniform for each one.
- (CHUCKLES)

So your solution is to
quadruple your work?

It will definitely set me apart.

Hey, uh, one question.

You didn't tell Blake about my plans

to subpoena our father's lawyer,
did you?

(SIGHS) I may have mentioned it.

I told you. No more secrets,

remember? Honestly,
you and Blake are exactly the same.

Exhausting.

Oof, don't ever say that again.

(EXHALES)

- (GLASS THUDS)
- I'll leave you to it.

Maybe leave some of that cheap
stuff while you're at it.

ADAM: Mother,

I brought you your favorite,

strawberry-nana.

Oh, this reeks of bribery and...

banana. Hmm.

Okay.
Well, if you have a couple minutes.

I have a presentation on
how cosmetic treatments

sell five times better
when presented by a doctor.

I am not in the mood for a book report.

Okay, look, I know you said you...

you don't trust me to go on air,

but I want to prove to you that you can.

I'm-I'm ready. I have these facts.

You've misunderstood.

The facts are not the issue.
It is the fact that my children

all want to steal my
thunder for some reason.

Fallon announcing her
surrogate at my wedding.

Amanda announcing her relationship

with Crocodile Dimwit at my wedding.

And you already announcing

the injectable at my wedding.

And now you want to do
it again on my show.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Is there just nothing

that I can do that is...

...my own? It's... It just...

It makes me... (GAGS) It...

- All right. All right.
- (VOMITING)

All right, Mother. Very funny.

Okay, just...
You can stop with the melodrama now.

Oh, my God.

I don't feel good.

Oh, no. Oh.

Oh, you're burning up.

- I need to sit down.
- Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

I just don't understand why
Cristal has to insert herself

into everything.

I mean,
it was fine when it was just PPA,

but now I have to go
babysit her in Savannah?

Maybe she's just trying to help.
I thought the two of you

were getting along.
Actually, if you don't mind...

Yes, yes, yes, she helped me

when I realized that I
couldn't get pregnant,

but, you know, that's the sort
of thing that she's good at.

Softer stuff.

And right now,
I need a fighter, not a hugger.

Honestly,
I'd rather go to Savannah with you.

Well, I'd love to,
but I'm trying to write.

All I see is a blank screen.

Because you won't let me think.

Okay? It's-it's a process.

Okay. You don't have to
tell me when I'm not wanted.

I can take a hint.

Are you sure about that?

Good luck today.

You, too.

♪ I don't want to work ♪

♪ I want to bang on
the drum all day ♪

♪ I don't want to play ♪

♪ I just want to bang
on the drum all day ♪

♪ Ever since I was a tiny boy ♪

♪ I don't want no candy,
I don't need no toy ♪

♪ I took a stick and
an old coffee can ♪

♪ I bang on that thing till
I got blisters on my hand ♪

♪ Because I don't want to work ♪

♪ I want to bang on
the drum all day ♪

♪ I don't want to play ♪

♪ I just want to bang
on the drum all day ♪

♪ Every day when I
get home from work ♪

♪ I feel so frustrated,
the boss is a jerk ♪

♪ And I get my sticks
and go out to the shed ♪

♪ And I pound on that drum
like it was the boss' head ♪

♪ Because I don't want to work ♪

♪ I just want to bang
on the drum all day. ♪

Would you k*ll me if I
cancelled our plans tonight?

I'm not a violent man,
so it depends on the reason.

I kinda have a date tonight.

Or a not-date.

What happened to not dating?
Or not not-dating?

I'm confused.
There's a lot of negatives here.

Look, I wasn't looking for it,

but I met this woman, she seems great,

and it feels a little silly
to not let it play out.

But I could postpone
it if you want me to.

No, absolutely not.

You know what,
I always knew you'd find someone

if you just stopped trying so hard.

You mean if you stopped trying so hard.

Well,
since you didn't let me set you up,

at least let me put together
a nice dinner at Oasis

for the two of you.

What do you know about her?

- I know she likes beer, soccer and chocolate.
- Oh, wow.

Did you meet the female you?

Maybe. Is that weird?

No. At least you're a
pleasure to be around.

Meet me here at : .

(GROANING)

Okay, I'll let her know.

What did the network say?

You can't do the FSN
anniversary show tomorrow

if you're sick.

And according to this thermometer,

which is practically melting in my hand,

your fever is still raging.

This is ridiculous! (GROANS)

Look, just take the antivirals
that I prescribed you, and...

and drink this smoothie.

It's got tons of vitamin C in it.

Alexam will lose thousands of
orders if I miss this show.

Th-There has to be a way
to speed up recovery.

Drink the smoothie.

It'll make you feel better.

And I'll go on FSN.

I will prevent Alexam from taking a hit.

- I'm fully prepared.
- Fine.

I will stay in bed,

and you go present at FSN,
just like you wanted.

I'm sorry this is the way it turned out,

but I truly believe this
is the best for everyone.

All right?

- (GROANS)
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Psst!

Ugh, get rid of that, and don't drink it

unless you want to end
up as sick as I am.

Ugh, this is why
people don't trust doctors.

Or sons.

FALLON: Just to make sure
we're on the same page,

you're getting the
lawyer out of the room,

and I'll get the assistant talking.

Or maybe we reverse that.

You get the lawyer out and
I talk to the assistant.

I have a little more
finesse with people.

Yeah, that's not happening.

Finesse is just a polite
way of saying weak.

You're being very unpleasant.

I don't know why you're doubting me.
I've done nothing...

I am so sorry for the wait.

Ida here is just going
to set up her stenotype

for the meeting, if that's okay.

Oh, that's more than okay. It's perfect.

Okay, then. Now, how can I help?

Your email said something
about estate planning.

Now, how are you related?

- We're sisters.
- We're business partners.

- We're sister business partners.
- Stepsisters.

Stepsister business partners, yeah.

So you want a plan that
will protect your business

- and personal assets?
- Exactly.

We just want to be prepared
in case my stepsister

passes away suddenly, you know.

- Because she is so frail.
- Or if she does.

She's great at making enemies.

Yeah.
Although, I do think it will be her.

I do. Just because she is so much older.

Aren't you, Gretchen? (LAUGHS)

Though, you did mention to me,

that you wanted to speak to Mr. Harris

in private, didn't you?

- Yes, Ingrid, I do.
- Yeah.

Could we go into that conference
room I saw in the hall?

No problem.

It'll just take a minute
for Ida to pack up.

Oh, I'd prefer Ida stay here.
I really value my privacy.

Well, lead the way.

- So, Ida, um...
- Yes.

Speaking of privacy, what do you do with

all the notes you take on
that little doo-dad there?

We take very good care of our clients'
private conversations.

Well, that sounds a little vague.

I just think I would
feel more comfortable

knowing exactly where you
kept the transcriptions.

You know, since we're considering
bringing our business here.

Well, they're kept in a safe place.

No need to worry.

I can't help it. I'm a worrier, Ida.

You know,
I went through a very bad experience

with my last divorce.

- Leaked files. A disaster in court.
- Oh, dear.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you, thank you.

So we're talking about
computer files or...

Computer files? (LAUGHS) Well, I wish.

Mr. Harris isn't good
with change or technology.

Now, the printed copies
are stored in a file room

just on the other side of the bathroom.

You walked by it on your way in.

Every conversation since the
' s are in there.

- Does that reassure you?
- Oh, it sure does. You're a peach, Ida.

And you know what, just to make you feel

a little bit more secure,
we have a guard that

watches the building overnight.

So you definitely don't have
to fret about your privacy.

♪ ♪

(MUSIC STOPS)

Wow, this seems like a lot
for a not-date.

Yeah, maybe.

- Hello, hello. Sammy Jo Jones.
- Hi.

It is lovely to meet you.

I'm just coming over to see
how you're enjoying your meal.

Do you need anything?

A little privacy, maybe?

Well, that's not on the menu. I'm sorry.

- (LAUGHS)
- No, I'm kidding.

I'll leave you two alone.

And of course, the meal is on the house.

- Wow.
- All right? - Yes.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- All right. Bye-bye.
- Bye, now. Okay.

So, um, are all the bartenders
treated so well here?

Bartenders? Oh, no, I'm not a bartender.

Although you would not be the
first woman to assume that.

I actually am the co-owner
of this place with Sam.

Oh, wow.

And what do you do?

Oh, I'm between jobs right now.

My husband passed away last year,

so I've been dealing with that.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

I actually am, uh, I'm finally feeling

ready to move forward.

And this is the first, and the best,

not-date I've ever been on.

- Right?
- Mm-hmm. (LAUGHS)

It is amazing how we keep
thinking the same thing.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Hmm. So tell me,

what do you think about this?

- Since you own the place...
- Mm-hmm.

...how do you feel about skipping dinner

and showing me one of the rooms here?

I'm thinking that that's a great idea.

All right, all right, all right.

We got champagne.

Mm, whoa-ho-ho!

Oh.

Oh. Okay.

Okay, we've watched this guy enough.

He comes around every nine minutes.

I say the next time
he rounds the corner,

- we go for it.
- Whoa. Hold on.

This has "disaster" written all over it.

That security guard has a g*n.

I think we should reconsider the plan.

Unless you want to get sh*t again.

Why did you even come here?

I have been on your case
all day because I thought

you needed a little push to get tougher.

But now I can tell that
you don't care enough

about my family to actually
take a risk for it.

Taking a crowbar to a window
isn't a risk, it's stupid.

And a different opinion
doesn't mean I don't care.

I came with you to protect you

from messing up everything
you've been building.

But you've been too busy
pushing me away to even notice.

Getting in my way is not protecting me.

It's just annoying.

After all these years,
and everything we've been through,

you still think you know best,
don't you?

- It's my curse.
- You know what,

it's been a long day.

I'll find my own way home.

Great. I'll handle this myself.

Oh, I'm sure you will.

And when you teach your future child

how to push everyone away, too,

I'll be happy to pay the therapy bills.

LIAM: In case of an emergency,

please find your nearest exits.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Jeff is out of town, and I need a model.

Besides,
you said it was a welcome distraction

from staring at your
blank computer screen.

- How are the sleeves?
- Oh, perfect.

I was trying all day to figure out

what I'm feeling inside,
but it turns out

it was two sheets of brownies
and a gallon of milk.

That's why I prefer to
keep my mind off things.

I thought you said you had to do this

for the NordicStar contest.

I do, but it's also helping me stay sane

in the middle of all of this
Blake/Ben ridiculousness.

I guess living in creativity
is better than living in family drama.

Exactly. It's better to be busy

than wrapped up in your
own thoughts all the time.

Demonstrate putting a carry-on
in the overhead compartment.

Okay, this is riding up a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, I felt I needed
a little more coverage there.

Mother, what are you doing here?

You should be at home resting.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Per my doctor's advice,

my real doctor,
the only thing I need to rest

is my voice until I go on air.

You can't go on air. You're still sick.

You're the sick one.

Sorry your evil plan didn't work out.

My evil plan?
What on earth are you talking about?

I've been trying to help you.

Like you were helping
with that poison smoogie?

What's a smoogie?

Smoogie. Smoogie.

(HOARSELY): Smoothie!

You think I was trying to
poison you with a smoothie?

I don't think, I know.

And now you have ruined
strawberry-nana for me forever.

I was drinking the same one.
I wasn't poisoning you.

You just went on your honeymoon.

Maybe you caught something overseas.

The only thing I caught is you.

I am done with my children
trying to upstage me.

There are plenty of
stages for all of us.

I've worked hard for my success.

AUTOMATED VOICE: And now,
on with the snow.

(WHISTLING)

Ha-ha!

Beautiful day, isn't it?

Well, someone's in a cheerful mood.

I wish I could be as happy about
this tuna melt, but alas...

So I assume your date went well?

Ah, a gentleman never tells.

But yes. Very well.

Well, I'm happy for you. And for me.

'Cause now the Sasha
guilt is finally gone.

- (CLICKS TONGUE)
- So you really like her, huh?

I know it's only been one date,

but I feel real potential with Geneva.

Okay.

- Thanks, Ronnie.
- Mm-hmm.

Can I get you anything, Mr. Culhane?

Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though.

So I didn't know you knew Geneva Abbot.

I saw you two at dinner last night.

- How do you know her?
- I thought the same way you did.

(LAUGHS) What does that mean?

- Through her husband.
- Hold on.

- Did you say Abbot?
- Yeah.

I thought her husband was the guy

who was working on the club last year.

Uh, you mean Leo? Leo Abbot?

Yeah, that was his name. Leo.

He was the guy who d*ed.
The contractor, right?

Mm-hmm.

Yes. That's him.

Yeah, she had come by and
visited him a few times.

I met her, and just so sad.

- I hope she's doing okay.
- Yeah.

We need to talk. In private.

What if she knows everything?

Oh, my God,
what if this is about vengeance,

and she totally seduced you
so that she could k*ll you?!

If that were true, I'd already be dead.

And besides,
I don't think she could fake

the connection we had.

Oh, connection?

Like something really electric?
Did you feel sparks?

Okay, again, yes,
she was married to the guy

that we electrocuted,
which led to his...

(VERY QUIETLY): ...death.

- Yeah. Not ideal.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

Oh, it's her.

"I'd love to see you again.

How about another not-date?"

Only if you want to not-live.
What are you gonna do?

What do you mean,
you didn't go through with it?

It was your idea.

Well, I had the wrong idea,
but now I have

a better plan instead.

- Well, what is it?
- Oh.

I thought you were gonna guess it,

like you did last time.
I remembered that

Carrington Atlantic company
policy was to require

personal counseling to any employees

if an immediate member
of their family had d*ed.

And you think that my father
saw a company-mandated therapist

after my mother d*ed?
No, I highly doubt that.

But if he did,
maybe the therapist mentioned

his disappointment in Ben,
which would relieve you

of any undue influence.

I'm just saying if Ben can
subpoena Grandfather's lawyer,

maybe you can subpoena his therapist.

That's a few too many "maybes"
for me to be comfortable with.

This whole thing could be pointless.

Okay, well, contrary to popular belief,

I do not know everything, but I do know

that I'm trying really hard

to leave this world a better place

for my kid.

So playing dirty no longer
fits with that plan.

Well, that's very mature of you.

You're gonna be a great mother.

Let me call my lawyer

and get that paperwork in motion.

Great. I just think it
could be worth a sh*t.

Yeah. Hey, I need you to
perform a run-of-the-mill B&E.

Get some files from a
lawyer's office in Savannah.

As you can see, I apply the cream

in an upward motion using
the pad of my middle finger.

Whew! (CLEARS THROAT)

(VOICE ECHOING): Ah,
don't mind me, I'm just feeling

a little bit of a dewy glow here.

- (ECHO VANISHES)
- But don't worry, viewers.

I had a small fever yesterday,

and I think I'm just
experiencing residual effect...

(COUGHING)

Effects. (CHUCKLES)

Luckily for me, my miracle cream
keeps me looking good...

(COUGHING)

...even if I feel like...

(COUGHING)

Aw, even if you're feeling

under the weather, right, Mother?

You... You...

Oh, you can't talk. We understand.

That's why I'm here.

Hi, I'm Dr. Adam Carrington.

Apparently my mother's
been working so hard

- she's made herself sick...
- (CLEARS THROAT)

...all to keep your
skin looking flawless.

(CLEARS THROAT)

And I know she'd be
so proud to announce,

if she could, our newest product:

The Alexam Injectable.

Now, this is gonna change your life.

But you can only get it from doctors,

so make sure you make an appointment

with your dermatologist this week,

and make sure they know what to order.

SAM: Geneva.

Back again. What are you doing here?

- Nothing nefarious, I hope.
- Not that I know of.

I'm actually looking for Michael.

Oh. Is everything okay?

Not really. (SCOFFS)

I feel like an idiot.

He texted me that he doesn't
want to see me anymore,

but I know we had a good time together,

so I feel like I deserve
some kind of explanation.

Well, I'm sure he warned you
that he wasn't ready to date.

Maybe you shouldn't
have pressed him on it?

Unless you have an ulterior motive.

Why would I need an ulterior motive?

Have you seen what that man looks like?

Oh, yeah. I mean,
I can't argue with that. He's hot.

I don't know, I felt like I was

finally moving on, you know?

Like I was ready to see what
the next chapter would bring.

You must have known
my husband Leo, right?

He was a construction
contractor here before he d*ed.

Yeah, maybe.
I might have a vague memory of him.

I didn't really spend much
time with the workers.

- He had an accident here, which led to his death.
- No.

I don't know, I just...
I felt like if I came here,

to the place where it happened,
I could say my final goodbye.

Then I met Michael, on the same day,

and I thought it was a sign.

You know, of a good future.

I don't know, maybe I was wrong.

This is why I don't
normally believe in signs.

Sorry, sorry, I'm talking your ear off.

(BOTH LAUGH)

- Okay. Okay.
- Okay, okay. I'm gonna go.

- Bye.
- Bye.

(SIGHS SHARPLY)

- Did you hear all that?
- Yeah.

It sounded like she meant it,
but who knows?

Either way, ending things with her

was the only thing to do.

I mean,
even if she's not trying to k*ll you,

it's just way too dangerous, okay?

And with all of the women out there...

I can probably find one

whose husband we did not electrocute.

I know.

(SNIFFING)

Is that a whiff of smoke wafting away?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, busted.

I went to see Professor
Kingston again today,

and I picked up a little medicinal
inspiration on the way home.

Seeing your professor
made you want to be

- back in college again?
- (CHUCKLES)

Actually,
I am gonna be back in college again.

Yeah, teaching. Well, guest lecturing.

Are you sure you know how to do that?

I'll figure it out, but thank you

for the vote of confidence.

Yeah, the, uh, the English
department was down a professor,

and Kingston said okay
when I offered to sub in.

But what about your book?
Don't you need to write?

Yeah, I don't-I don't know.

I think this will help.

I mean,
being stuck at home just thinking,

it hasn't been good for my creativity.

You know, when I was in college,
I was, I was busy.

I was surrounded by other writers.

I-I never felt more inspired.

Because you were high.

Very funny. I-I think I'm just gonna

do this and relax on the soul-searching.

Sounds like a plan.

I just wish you had a
little more of that medicine

left over to relax me.

What, the caper didn't go well?

The caper didn't go at all.

Cristal mentioned that
it was pretty dangerous,

which was true,
although I would never tell her that.

So you're mad at her for being right?

No, I'm mad at her whole
Goody Two-shoes attitude.

I don't think she's as
pristine as you think she is.

I mean, Fallon,
she put a bounty on her brother's head

if he ever stepped foot
back in the country.

I mean, if someone messes with
the people that she loves,

the daggers come out.

Thanks.

Great show, Dr. Carrington.

We're so happy you stepped in.

Well, I'm glad I was here to help.

Social media loves the
whole mother-son dynamic.

- Oh.
- And we're thinking

you should take a
permanent spot on the show.

That's very kind of you to offer,

but I'm gonna pass.

My mother will always
be the face of Alexam.

- This was just a one-time thing.
- Oh, that's too bad.

But understood.

You know, you have a great son here.

AUTOMATED VOICE: You miserable,
lying sack of...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Thank you.

You're welcome, but you're not forgiven

for suggesting that I poisoned you.

Look, I want this relationship
and our partnership to work,

but if you can't get over these
little trust issues you have,

then we're still in serious trouble.

(FIRE CRACKLING)

Hello, Ben.

You know, it can't be fun

being the brother who always loses.

Can I help you drown your sorrows,

like you drowned our mother?

You should keep that for yourself.
You'll need it.

Let me know when the cryptic,
taunting part

of this conversation's over.

Oh, you want specifics? Happy to help.

(LAUGHS) You know,
ever since we were kids,

if there was a shortcut to take,
you took it.

I knew Dom would tell
you about the subpoena.

And I knew you wouldn't
be able to help yourself.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, I think you do know.

But what you don't know

is that I paid a small fee

to the owner of the
store across the street

from Joel Harris' office.

Buying more comic books?

No, just access to his
security camera footage,

which shows a man in a black ski mask

breaking into Harris'
office earlier tonight,

on your orders, obviously.

Yeah, I'm not following.

And unfortunately for you,

you can't connect any
missing transcripts to me,

or even have them subpoenaed,
since they're missing.

There was never gonna be a
subpoena for the transcripts.

I just needed you to think there was.

So my lawyer says the
judge will find the timing

of this break-in highly suspicious,

and now deny your motion
to dismiss the case

based on potential evidence tampering.

(WEAK LAUGH)

You still won't win.

It feels like I already am. (CHUCKLES)

It's kind of ironic, don't you think?

You file a motion
citing lack of evidence,

and then give me the very evidence

I need to move forward, so... thank you?

Get out of my house.

Oh, you seem upset. Yeah, okay, well,

I guess it can't be
fun being the brother

who always loses.

See you in court.

- There you go.
- I got it.

Ah. I've always wanted to come here.

Well, you mentioned it the other night,

and I figured I owed you a real date

- to make up for my behavior after our not-date.
- Yeah.

- I'm glad that you said yes.
- I almost didn't.

- I know. That's why I'm glad.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

So, uh, what happened?

- (SIGHS) To be honest?
- Yeah.

I got scared.

I figured being in a
relationship with you

might be dangerous.

Aren't all relationships dangerous?

That's why I decided to take the leap.

- Hmm.
- It is not every day

that I meet someone like you.

I'll risk it if you will.

I will.

Mother.

What are you doing in Kirby's room?

You may not believe this,
but I was on my way

to apologize to you.

By lurking in a room that
doesn't belong to me?

I am not lurking. You were my next stop.

I spoke with Dex.

He also had a fever and lost his voice.

We're both fine now, but apparently

we got some -hour bug

during our travels.

You didn't poison me.

It must have been my fever
that made me paranoid.

Oh, the fever.

Okay, fine, it wasn't just the fever.

My suspicious nature has always been

a survival tactic,
and sometimes it's hard for me

to shake old habits, so... I'm sorry.

I understand, and I accept your apology,

but clearly you're not
breaking old habits

by still sneaking into Kirby's room.

I came to bring her this note.

I almost lost you because
of the way I treated Kirby.

I'm not going to lose
Amanda the same way.

You helped me see that I've
been too harsh on my children,

so I wrote Kirby this apology note.

I can't believe you're actually
gonna apologize to Kirby.

Well, I don't really mean it,
but if this faux-pology

helps me get back on track with Amanda,

then I am happy to pretend.

Wow, that's almost mature of you.

Mm.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

Hmm.

Kirby's diary. Hmm.

I shouldn't look.
Okay, just a quick peek.

What is this?

A list of every Carrington
secret my father ever learned.

There is enough dirt in here
to take down Blake for good.

Jackpot.

Whoa. Retail therapy?

I find that my anger is better channeled

into clothing than combat.

Which I'm sure you'll have
a smartass comment about.

Looks like you have a lot of anger.

But you don't have to be
angry with me anymore.

You were right. I was acting
like I knew better than you,

but I was only trying
to do what I thought

was best for my child.

And I didn't realize
that you were just trying

to do the same thing.

We might have different approaches,

but we're family.

Even if we aren't related by blood.

I'm a Carrington, and I will
always protect the Carringtons.

Even the ones not here yet.

And I'm sorry it took
me so long to see that.

Thank you for stopping me

from doing something stupid last night.

I'm sure there'll be
plenty of other times.

Agreed.

But there is something else.

I like that we have
different approaches.

And now that I see how much you care,

would you consider doing one
more thing for my family?

Of course. What is it?

Liam and I would be honored

if you would be our baby's godmother.

The baby's madrina?

Of course.

The honor would be all mine.

(BANGING ON DOOR)

- Okay!
- You used me to plant false information with Blake.

I-I can explain.

You don't have to explain.

I understand all too well.

What, you think Blake is any better?

Blake might be a bastard,
but he's honest with me

about who he is.

You pretended to want to

have a relationship with me

to get back at him.

I do want a relationship with you,

and I want to get back at him.

Look, Dom,
I saw an opportunity and I took it.

It doesn't mean we can't get
to know each other as siblings.

That's exactly what it means.

I just came here tonight to tell you

I never want to talk to you again.

Dom, wait.

Don't worry,

you don't need her anyway.

This has all the dirt we need
for you to win your court case.

Thank you, Anders,

for your dirty,
dirty little book of secrets.

(GLASSES CLINK)