20x05 - Lend Me Your Ear/The Butler Did It

[bunniefuu]

HELP ALL KIDS LEARN
AND GROW WITH PBS KIDS.

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING
YOUR PBS STATION.

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to your
heart, listen to the b*at ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together
and make things better ♪

♪ By working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪

♪ And I say hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa...

(crash)

Welcome to "Know Your Teacher,"
the game show where we find out

how much you know
about your favorite teacher.

Our first contestant is...

Buster Baxter!

(applause)

Hiya, Buster!

Where are you from?

Elwood City, four blocks
from your house.

Are you ready to play
"Teacher Test"?

BUSTER:
You bet!

ARTHUR:
Name four things

about Mr. Ratburn
that everyone knows.

That's easy!

He loves to give homework.

(ding)

He loves to give tests.

(ding)

He's really,
really smart.

(ding)

And he loves to give
a lot of homework!

Judges?

(upbeat tone)

We'll accept it.

(ding)

(applause)

You've made it to Round Two.

How do you feel?

Excited, nervous,
but mainly hungry.

That's great!

Because if you win Round Two,

all this
can be yours!

A lifetime supply
of juicy clementines.

As sweet as mandarins
and tangerines,

but completely
seedless.

Clementines,
the perfect snack.

BUSTER:
(gasps)

They're my favorite
citrus fruit!

Let's play!

Okay, name four things
about Mr. Ratburn

that have nothing to do
with school.

Um... uh...
he likes puppets.

(ding)

He likes to give his puppets
a lot of homework?

(buzzer)

Oh, I'm sorry,
that's incorrect.

I guess I don't really
know him that well.

What were some
of the right answers?

Um...

Hey, that's not fair!

You don't know either!

That's all the time we have.

Enjoy the show.

I want my fruit!

"Lend Me Your Ear."

(gasps)

Oh, hey, there's
Mr. Ratburn.

I'm just gonna go
say hi.

Hi, Mr. Ratburn!

Mr. Ratburn?

Hello?

It was like
I wasn't even there.

I must have called his name
three times.

I had a similar experience
just the other day.

I saw him in the Sugar Bowl.

He was reading A Brief History
of Copper Smelting,

which I had just finished.

I wanted to talk to him
about it.

Ooh, have you got
to the part

about Incan methods
of cooling slag?

(slurping)

At the time,

I just thought he was
too engrossed to notice me.

I mean, it is
a very exciting book.

I know what's wrong
with him.

He's...
Don't say it.

Don't say what?

He's an alien,
or a nail-eating vampire,

or a secret superhero.

I wasn't going to say
any of those things.

Boy, you really think I'll
believe anything, don't you?

Okay, I'm sorry.

What were you going to say?

He's a secret agent

posing as a nail-eating vampire
superhero teacher.

It's the perfect cover!

Maybe he just doesn't feel like
being around kids.

I mean, it is summer,

and he had to spend
the whole year with us.

(gasps)

Hello, boys!

Hi, Mr. Ratburn!

We were just talking
about you...

...keleles!

Beautiful instruments.

Did you know that the name means
"dancing flea" in Hawaiian?

Three grapefruit sorbets to go,
please.

Cone or cup?

Yes.

Um... okay.

You sure like
those sorbets.

Hm?

Oh, yes.

They're so soothing.

All the lost teachers
like them.

Keep the change.

Have a nice day!

You too!
Bye.

See you!

BRAIN:
That was really strange.

"All the lost teachers
like them"?

I'd like to switch to an alien
mind-control theory.

Buster, this is serious.

There could be something
wrong with him.

We should do something.

Arthur's right.

Normally, I would never suggest
a hare-brained scheme like this,

but I think
we should follow him.

Okay, he went inside.

Now what?

Maybe we should just
ring the doorbell

and ask him
if he feels all right.

We can't do that.

Why?

You know Mr. Ratburn.

He'd just say he was fine.

He might even be annoyed
that we followed him.

ARTHUR:
Then what's the plan?

RATBURN (shouting):
Yeah!

How about we run?

That seems like a good plan!

(electric guitar strumming)

I can't see anything.

(footsteps)

RATBURN:
Where's Hope?

MAN:
Hope's gone, man.

Buster,
get on my shoulders.

Whoa...

(electric guitar strumming)

(loud bang)

What was that?

I'll be right back.

BRAIN:
Okay, let's review
what we know.

Mr. Ratburn has talked
about all the lost teachers

and said that
"hope is gone."

Although when he said that,

his voice sounded
kind of different.

I bet it was because
he was crying.

What?

That's crazy.

Why would Mr. Ratburn
be crying?

Think about it.

He spends the whole school year
teaching.

Then summer comes

and he has no one to give tests
or assign homework to.

All right,
Vladimir and Estragon,

put away your books.

Time for a pop quiz.

What's the square root of ?

(gurgling)

Wrong!

It is not zero!

The correct answer is .

You get an F.

(yawns)

Failing fish
just isn't the same.

(crying)

Without students to teach,
his life is meaningless.

I never thought I'd say this,
but Buster might be right.

What about that strange,
loud sound we heard?

What was that?

Oh, well that's where
the alien mind-control comes in.

You see...

Quit while you're ahead.

If Buster is right,

then I think I know
how we could help him tomorrow.

(doorbell rings)

What are you going to have
Mr. Ratburn teach you?

I'll ask him to give me
some word problems.

Those always put him
in a good mood.

You?

Chinese history.

I know nothing about it,

so if he quizzes me,
I won't do very well.

Ring again.

It must be hard for Mr. Ratburn
to hear over all his sobbing.

RATBURN:
(clears throat)

And why exactly
am I sobbing?

Contrary to popular belief,

I do have a life
outside of school.

However, your assumption that
I have a problem is correct.

I just came
from Dr. Conway.

Is he your nemesis?

Uh, no,
he's my audiologist--

a doctor who specializes
in hearing.

My hearing is impaired.

Impaired?

What does that mean?

It means that I'm not hearing
as well as I once did.

Close your eyes and imagine
we are inside an ear.

You might think that all hearing
takes place right here,

but this is just the outer ear.

Let's follow a sound
and see what happens.

(ding)

The sound goes down
into the ear canal.

What's this
squishy stuff?

That must be ear wax.

Ooh, let's make a candle!

RATBURN:
No fires
in the ear, please.

It really isn't wax.

It's actually cerumen,

a substance the ear makes
to help clean and protect it.

Oh!

Can I keep it?

No, you have plenty
in your own ears.

(ding)

Come along!

Sound hits the eardrum
and causes it to vibrate.

(rumbling)

(voices vibrating):
Ah...

My t-t-teeth
are f-f-feeling loose.

W-w-what's happening
on the other side?

When the ear drum vibrates,
it moves these three tiny bones:

the hammer, the anvil,
and the stirrup.

They help carry the sound
into the inner ear,

which we'll look at now.

The sound vibrations
make those hairs move,

and that information
is taken to the brain,

where it is translated as
an identifiable sound.

BRAIN:
Why is that patch bare
over there?

RATBURN:
Because that's where I've lost
some of my hearing.

We better get back.

My tea's getting cold.

Ah.

You know, it really did feel
good to do a little teaching.

How about a quick quiz
about the ear?

That's okay.
No thanks.

Anyway, now I have these,
which will help a great deal:

hearing aids.

There's one thing
I still don't understand.

How did you lose your hearing
in the first place?

(doorbell rings)

You're about to find out.

(electric guitar tuning)

(gasps)

Hearing loss can occur

for a variety of reasons
at any age,

but for years,
we never used ear plugs.

Gotta protect
the ears, amigos.

But we've learned our lesson.

May I present Trevor Brown
from Mighty Mountain on drums.

(plays drum fill)

Hope Locke from Glenbrook
Academy on bass.

'Sup?

I am Nigel "The Rat" Ratburn
from Lakewood Elementary.

And we are...
(strumming guitar)

The Lost Teachers!

One...

Two...

One, two!

(rock music playing)

♪ See them coming
in the morning ♪

♪ Looking happy,
there's no warning ♪

♪ Take your seats now,
pay attention ♪

♪ No, you can't have
an extension ♪

♪ Just a little business
before we start our day ♪

♪ Take out your pencil,
put your books away ♪

♪ Pop quiz, pop quiz! ♪

♪ Pop quiz,
pop quiz! ♪

♪ No begging
and no pleading ♪

♪ 'Cause you didn't
do the reading ♪

♪ Pop quiz, yeah! ♪

(playing guitar solo)

Now do you believe
he's an alien?

(faint music playing)

RATBURN: Yeah!

♪ Pop quiz! ♪

And now a word
from an ear doctor.

BOY: Today,
we're at Mass Eye and Ear

to see Dr. Cohen.

Do you know what your eardrum
looks like?

No idea.

Why is it called an eardrum?

It is a thin layer that is held
very tightly inside your ear,

just like the top of a drum.

(laughing)

COHEN:
We're gonna take a look now

with a tiny camera
called an endoscope.

So there's the eardrum,

and if you look at the top
of the eardrum,

you can see a little white line,
and that is the hammer.

And just to the right
of the hammer,

there's a little tan-colored dot
which is the anvil,

and the anvil's connected
to the stirrup.

Do you remember why Mr. Ratburn
had problems hearing?

The music was really loud

and it was starting to damage
all his ear hairs.

And it's important that
we protect our hair cells

so that we don't have problems
with hearing later on.

Can the hairs in your cochlea
grow back once they're damaged?

Once those hair cells are
damaged, they can't grow back.

Most phones that you can
listen to music on

can get loud enough
to damage your hearing.

What do you think
would be the right volume

to set on a phone?

COHEN:
On most phones,
if you keep the volume

about three-quarters of the way
across, then you'll be safe.

Volume limit.

We're gonna go right this way
to meet Dr. Bhakta.

She's an audiologist who's gonna
show you how we test hearing.

Hi, guys, come on in.

She would play beeps.

Here comes a beep.

(beep)

And if we heard it,
we'd raise our hand.

(beep)

The purpose of the hearing test

is to find out
if your hearing's good or bad.

This is Ethan's hearing.

You see those red circles?

That's his right ear.

You see those blue Xs?

That's his left ear.

If there were anything
down there,

that would mean hearing loss,

but the good news is Ethan
has good hearing today.

Yay!

Nice job.

I want to protect my hearing
so I can listen to music,

other people talking,
and anything with sound.

And now back to Arthur!

Excuse me,
what's this?

It's for making
duck-shaped ice cubes.

Oh, thanks.

Who on earth would buy this?

(gasps)

Duck-shaped ice cubes!

I have to have it!

Name your price!

Isn't it strange how sometimes
you have to have something,

then a week later,
you've forgotten all about it?

Like those Moon Boots
I really wanted.

Or that Woogle I had to have.

(squeaks)

(panting)

Or Virtual Goose,
version . .

(goose squawking)

Or those scented erasers,
and the X-ray glasses,

and that mind-reading helmet,
and the Dark Bunny belt buckle,

and that solar-powered
popcorn maker.

Wow, I sure have bought
a lot of useless stuff.

From now on, I'm only buying
things I really need, like...

(gasps)

Shoe umbrellas?!

That's amazing!

How much?

(horn honking)

MUFFY:
Now remember, we're looking
for something special.

No ties, cuff links,
or gift certificates.

What about needle point,
Miss Muffy?

You could make your father
a Crosswire Motors pillow.

Make him something?

Ugh!

I always do that
for Father's Day.

Remember?

I made him that card.

I think it needs
one more peacock.

(sighs)

MUFFY:
And that scarf.

Ugh!

Now that I see it,

I think yellow is
more his color.

MUFFY:
And that cake.

Oopsie!

(groaning)

No, this year I want his gift
to be a complete surprise.

Something wild.

Something extravagant.

Something...

(gasps)

That's it!

"Keats the Car-bot,

the first voice-controlled,
fully-automated robot butler."

Oh, it's perfect.

What a wonderful
Father's Day.

Such thoughtful presents.

Wait!

There's one more.

Bailey!

What on earth?

Just a small token

of our love for you.

What is it?

It's your new car-bot!

His name is Keats,
and he's fully charged.

You just have to put your hand
on his top.

That's how he bonds
with you.

(chuckling)

Car-bot?

What on earth
will they think of next?

KEATS:
Imprinting
Edward Edsel Crosswire.

Union is complete.

Hello, sir.

How may I serve you?

Oh, well, dent my fenders!

The little feller talks!

Give him a command.

Um... roll over.

Daddy!

He's a butler, not a dog.

Have him bring you something.

Keats, please get my father
some orange juice.

Well, he was close.

(whirring)

Here you are, sir.

Freshly squeezed orange juice.

Thanks.

Would you like me
to clean up now, sir?

Sure.

Oh, that's all right,
Mr. Crosswire.

I'm almost finished.

(vacuum whirring)

(laughing):
He's amazing!

I love him, Muffin.

Got some competition there,
eh, old boy?

Come on, Keats.

Let's see how good you are
at waxing cars.

(sighs)

Where is that one
with the little pandas on it?

Bailey?

Might I be of service?

Sorry, Mr. Crosswire,
I had trouble hearing you.

I was scrubbing the insides
of the trash cans.

No worries.

I was just looking for a tie.

Keats found it.

(horn honking)

Daddy sure likes
his new gift.

Indeed, Miss Muffy.

It was a great success.

I find Keats to be
a boon as well.

Really?

Oh, yes.

This morning alone,

he's taken care of all
the chores I normally do.

I say!

I could...
take the day off.

That is,

unless you require me...

No, no, please!

You've earned it.

Whatever shall I do?

There's that antique doorknob
exhibit at the museum.

Of course, my collars
do need starching.

That would be relaxing.

I've never seen him
so upset.

He went into his room

and I didn't see him
until dinner.

Maybe he was relaxing.

Francine, Bailey's idea
of relaxing

is scrubbing the grout
between the kitchen tiles.

No, he's definitely
depressed.

So tell your father
to get rid of the car-bot.

I can't.

He loves it.

Plus Bailey would know
I said something

and would feel embarrassed.

(groans)

This is all my fault.

Keats can't do everything.

Show your dad
how indispensable Bailey is.

Hm...

I need a new book.

How about...

The ABCs of a*t*matic
Transmissions and Transaxles.

Ooh, that one's
a real page turner.

I better get Bailey.

It's much too high for Keats.

(horn honking)

Excellent choice, madam.

Hmph!

I just can't find
my slippers anywhere.

You haven't seen them,
have you, Muffler?

No, but I'm sure Bailey
will know where to look.

(horn honking)

Perhaps I can be of assistance?

(sniffing)

(Keats sniffing)

(loud bang)

(horn honking)

Who's a good boy?

You're a good boy.

It's no use.

Keats can do everything.

He even made dinner last night.

How was it?

Delicious.

Braised duckling
in a fig reduction.

Daddy had three helpings.

Bailey has been spending
hours in his room.

I can't imagine
what he's doing.

♪ Figaro qua, Figaro la,
Figaro su, Figaro giù! ♪

Poor Bailey!

I wouldn't be surprised
if he decided to quit.

Just unplug Keats.

I can't.

He runs on a battery
that recharges when he rests.

(gasps)

But there might be a way
to disable him,

and I know just the person
to do it.

BRAIN:
It's not going to be easy.

But if I can embed a rootkit
into Keats' system,

it might give me
remote access.

Um... great!

I'll be right here
if you need help.

First I have to cr*ck
the password.

Hm... "Keats."

Could be a poem.

"Nightingale"?

I'm in!

Ooh, Brain, you are good!

(classical music playing)

Intruder alert!

Intruder alert!

Okay, now I just need to mount
a DDoS to overload the server.

(sighs)

This is taking forever.

(satellite beeping)

Hm...

Almost there...

Excuse me, madam.

May I come in?

(gasps)

KEATS:
There appears to be
a hacker in your room.

Um, nope!

There's no one in here but me!

(nervous laughter)

(whispering):
Hurry up!

I must insist, madam.

If I am disabled,

I will no longer be able
to serve your father.

Brain!

Do something!

Just two more files to go.

KEATS:
♪ I'm a little teapot
short and stout ♪

BRAIN:
Done!

(slowing down):
♪ Here... is my handle... ♪

♪ Here is my... ♪

(voice scrambled)

(voice stops)

Good morning,
Miss Muffy.

Bailey!

It's a very nice day.

I'll say.

It's the best day ever.

(gasps)

He's still here?!

BAILEY:
That's Keats . .

It seems the original Keats
had a malfunction,

so the company delivered
a newer model this morning.

This one flies.

(horn honking)

Do you need
anything else,

Miss Muffy?

I might be out today.

No.

Where are you going?

I have a personal errand
I must attend to.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

MUFFY:
Brain crashed Keats,
but then Daddy upgraded

and now Bailey's running
a personal errand!

What if he's leaving?!

Tell Bailey how you feel.

Your father might like
this Keats,

but Bailey's irreplaceable
to you.

Right! Thanks!

Bailey?

(gasps)

He is leaving!

Bailey!

Hello, madam.

Is there a problem?

You!

Because of you, my best friend
in the world is leaving.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Would you like a fruit smoothie?

(screaming)

Foot massage?

Cucumber sandwich?

Bedtime story?

There must be something
down here I can use

to stop that tin can.

(rattling)

KEATS:
The door is locked, madam.

Yes, I can tell that, Keats.

Would you open it,
please?

ED CROSSWIRE:
Keats!

Could I have a snack?

Keats?

Keats, where did you go?

Hello?

Someone?

Help! Help!

MUFFY:
Help, I'm trapped!

(gasps)

Miss Muffy!

MUFFY:
Oh, Bailey!

Thank goodness!

What's all the commotion?

I was locked in the basement

and that silly car-bot
wouldn't let me out!

Keats?

Is this true?

You required a snack, sir.

I am programmed
to put your needs

above everyone else's.

MUFFY:
Now that Keats is gone,

will you unpack
your bags and stay?

Oh, I wasn't going anywhere,
Miss Muffy.

I made a sculpture

and a gallery has agreed
to exhibit it.

It's called
"The Luxury of Solitude."

Bailey would never
leave us.

He's family.

Indeed,

Mr. Crosswire.

Now, how about
some lunch?

Bailey, could you whip up
some poached salmon?

Oh, yes!

With the dill sauce

and those teeny-tiny potatoes
you do so well.

BUSTER:
To watch more Arthur

and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,

visit pbskids.org.

You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books too

at your local library.