01x11 - Karaoke Kickoff

[bunniefuu]

-Comin' in hot with pretzels.

-[loudly]
Hi, Lex!

-Wait, you're not watching
"Karaoke Kickoff"

without me, are you?

-[loudly]
I'm watching "Karaoke Kickoff."

-You were supposed to wait.

-[loudly]
Yeah, I love this show.

-Presley!

Presley!

-[normal volume]
Why are you shouting?

-[sighs]

We were supposed to watch
"Karaoke Kickoff" together.

-I couldn't help it.

"Karaoke Kickoff"
is my favorite

local singing competition
and my best sh*t at fame.

-Hey, don't say that.

You and I are gonna get famous

once we figure out how to breed
a puppy with a kitten.

-Look,
puppens are never gonna happen.

We've tried everything.

But I'm sorry I started
without you.

-Apology accepted.

But only if you press play
right now.

-Welcome back!

Please give a big,
"Karaoke Kickoff" welcome

to our next contestant,
Jamie Bullock!

[cheers and applause]

-[off-key]
♪ I won't cry ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm leaving today ♪

♪ Love's gone away
and I don't have to stay ♪

♪ It's not me
It's not--♪

-She's gonna get the foot.

-Yeah, definitely gonna get
the foot.

all:
You get the foot!

-♪ Fall down--♪

[screams]

-I do love the foot,

but I feel bad for the singers
who get kicked off the stage.

-It helps if you don't think
of them as people.

-Remember,
you can buy the same

amazing karaoke machine
we use.

Now, you may have heard of

other brands of
karaoke machines like that one.

[all booing]

-You know what I say to them.

all:
You get the foot!

[buzzer blares]

[cheers and applause]

-Say bye-bye

and buy one of
our official karaoke machines.

And who knows?

You might get to join me
on this stage!

[cheers and applause]

-If we buy that karaoke
machine with our KidDING money,

I could practice,
get on the show, and then boom!

Local fame.

-Well, we did already pay
Tedward back this week,

but let's talk it over
with Munchy when he gets here.

-Good idea.
-The karaoke machine is here!

-You already bought it?

-I know,
we should've talked to you.

-Yeah, you should've.

But since it's here,
I go first.

-Munchy,
what are you gonna sing?

-I'm gonna start
a Munchy original called

"Toasters are Boxes of Magic."

♪ Toasters are boxes of magic ♪

♪ They're fun to use when stuck
in traffic ♪

♪ Toast! ♪

-Great song
for a great appliance.

-[gasps] It looks just like
the one on the show.

Let's try it out.

It's not working.

-It says it requires
AA batteries.

-Well, that's not fair.

Rowan didn't mention anything
about needing batteries.

-I know what'll calm you down:

some sweet, sweet karaoke

that's just batteries away.

[upbeat music]

-Marshmallow test number .

Come on, put the marshmallow
in the hot chocolate.

No!

You have made
a very powerful enemy.

-Bored, bored, bored,
bored, bored.

I'm so bored!

Come outside and play a game
with me.

-I'm a little busy with this--

-Okay, hide-and-seek it is.

I'll hide first.
-Good idea.

-[giggling]

-one, two, three.

[door closes]

Marshmallow test number .

♪ ♪

- , , .

-This reminds me of feeding
my old lizard,

except instead of batteries,
it was crickets.

-All right, let's fire it up.

[resonant startup chime]

[oohs and ahhs]

-Lex, crank the volume!

[plastic crunches]
-What?

The knob broke off.
This is unacceptable.

First, the batteries and now,
the knob.

-Allow me
to make everything better.

[switch clicks]

[music playing]

-Is that "Twinkle, Twinkle,
Little Star"?

-Yeah, but all the lyrics
are messed up.

-No, it's just in Norwegian.

You guys didn't know I was born
in Oslo, Norway?

#CitizenOfTheWorld.

-Come on.
Play the song I want.

[electrical sizzling]

-Presley, back away
from the machine.

-Why?

-Because
in every action movie,

that's the sound a machine
makes before it blows up!

[electrical sizzling]

-This thing
is a piece of junk.

Rowan Van Doren scammed us.

This reminds me of when I saved
up for a Lettuce Patch Doll.

-Oh, no.
-Oh, here we go.

-I opened the package
and the doll...

all:
Had no head.

-I wrote to the company,
but...

all:
They didn't care.

-And that is why I refused
to get scammed again.

-Okay, Lex,
this is way different.

This is Rowan Van Doren
we're talking about.

If he knew about this machine,
he'd be as upset as you.

-Prove it.
Let's go to the studio.

-The television studio?
Yeah, let's go right now.

-No, I meant to fight back
and get a refund.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That, too.

-Okay, let's go
to "Karaoke Kickoff."

-[gasps]
Great idea.

Rowan's a bigtime
music producer.

I can sell him one of my songs,
like...

♪ My name is Munchy ♪

♪ I spoiled my lunchy ♪

♪ 'Cause I put too many snacks
in my tum-chy ♪

-That's the perfect song to
sing on the way to the studio.

Let's go.
-Yeah.

all:
♪ My name is Munchy ♪

♪ I spoiled my lunchy ♪

♪ 'Cause I put too many snacks
in my tum-chy ♪

-♪ I got you, got me,
we got this ♪

♪ I like the odds
when we're side-by-side ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ Oh, we're taking off,
gonna do this right ♪

♪ I like the sound of that ♪

♪ And when things go up
in flames, we're on it ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you,
got me, we got this ♪

-Farewell, karaoke machine.
You were junky, but beautiful.

-Put the lid back!
all: [screaming]

-Dad, what are you doing?

-Shh, I'm playing
hide-and-seek with Fisher.

I've been hiding here all day.
I'm k*lling it.

Ooh, karaoke.

-It's broken, Presley's dad.

-We're on our way to
the "Karaoke Kickoff" studio.

-Yeah.

We are not leaving
until Rowan Van Doren

gives us our money back.

-But don't worry,
I have a plan.

How could anyone say no
to this face?

-Oh, hey, Fisher.
Cool robot arm.

Hey, robot arm.
Beep, boop, bop.

-Don't talk to it.

It won't listen,
so it's going in the trash.

-Let's go to
"Karaoke Kickoff."

all:
♪ My name is Munchy ♪

♪ I spoiled my lunchy ♪

♪ 'Cause I put too many snacks
in my tum-chy ♪

-Hey, Dad.

-Fisher, you found me!

Man, I love playing
with my boy.

-Jeez, I've been too focused
on my work lately, haven't I?

Hey, bud.

If you could do anything with
me right now, what would it be?

-I'd sing karaoke
on this machine,

but Munchy said it's broken.

-Well, let's bring it inside
and I'll get my tools.

-Yes!

Right behind you!

♪ ♪

-Wow, can you believe this?

Don't let me lose my cool.

Ahh!
There's the foot!

-And there's the real karaoke
machine they use on the show.

It looks just like ours except,
you know, it isn't smoking.

-Just remember why we're here.

-To get on the show.
-To sell Rowan a song.

-No and no.

To get a refund

and to make sure other kids
don't get scammed.

-Don't worry.

I'm sure we're not gonna have
any problems.

Rowan's the best.

-Hey!
Are you an idiot?

I asked you to stir
my oat milk latte

counter-clockwise.

This is clearly
a clockwise-stirred drink!

-Sorry, sir.
-I don't need you to be sorry.

I need you to be better!

-Rowan, can we get a word
with you, please?

-Perhaps several words
strung together in song form?

-I don't have time
for selfies.

We have a live show
to prepare for.

Okay, maybe one selfie,
but no touching.

-We are not here for a selfie.

We bought one of your karaoke
machines and it doesn't work,

so we want our money back
or else.

-Oh, will you excuse us
for a moment?

You can't talk
to Rowan Van Doren like that.

He's Rowan Van Doren.

-So what?
He's just a guy.

-No, he's a famous guy.
His time is extremely valuable.

-So it's a song about toast.
It's super-relatable.

Goes like this.

♪ Toasters are boxes of magic ♪

♪ They're fun to use when stuck
in traffic ♪

♪ Toast! ♪

♪ ♪

-[singing in Norwegian]

-Uh, Dad, I fixed it.

You don't have to sing
"Twinkle, Twinkle"

in Norwegian anymore.

-But I want to.
That's my jam.

-Why is that your jam?

-Well, remember
how I used to be a singer

on a Norwegian cruise ship?

-No, I'm pretty sure
I would've remembered that.

-The year was .

Each night on the cruise ship,
my big closing number

was "Twinkle, Twinkle,
Little Star."

The Norse are a little behind
us music-wise.

But, Fisher, I was good.

-What happened?

Did you meet Mom
and give up the dream?

-No, I got fired
for stealing crab cakes.

-Is it weird that I want to
see your show?

-No, I've often described
myself as weirdly intriguing.

-Hey, we can post it online
so Mom can see it at work.

-Ooh, and my old shipmates
could see it, too.

-Then I guess
we're gonna do this.

-Are we gonna do this?

-Yeah, I just said--

-Are we really gonna do this?

-Just take a yes.

-[laughing]
Yes!

♪ ♪

-And this is the part
where the harmony kicks in.

♪ Toast, toast, toast ♪

-Okay, let me handle this.

Mr. Van Doren,
I am your biggest fan.

Could you please give us
our money back?

And we'll be on our way.

Before you answer,
let me add this.

-How could I say no
to that face?

Like this: no.

-Rowan, either give us
our money back

or we'll tell everyone
that you're a fraud.

-Hmm, I have another idea.

How would you all like
to audition to be on my show?

-I would literally scream
till I passed out.

Is this happening?

I need to know
if I should start screaming.

-Please take your places
center stage.

-[screams] I can't believe
we're auditioning!

-So what should we sing?

My toaster song?
My tum-chy song?

A mashup?

-I've been waiting
for this moment my whole life.

-I've been waiting for
this moment since I met you.

You get the foot!

[buzzer blares]

[screaming]

Bye, bye, bye.

Oh.

This is awkward.

My giant foot seems
to have missed you.

Would you mind throwing
yourself off the stage?

-It would be my pleasure.

[screams]

[screaming]

-Are you okay?
-Yes!

Where's Munchy?

-Whee!

-Where are we?
-I'll tell you.

[screaming]

[all screaming]

-♪ Yeah ♪

What?

This could still be a part
of the audition.

-Someone get the lights.

all: Whoa.

-Sorry, we turned the lights
off right before you got here

to sing "Happy Birthday"
to Hasty.

-Welcome to The Cellar.

-But Jamie Bullock?

We just saw you get
kicked off the show.

-Yup, still got a bruise
from the foot.

-Wait, you're
all former contestants.

-Yeah, everyone down here
got kicked off.

-What--hey, you're Sapphire.
Season three, episode one.

-Oh, yeah.
You sang "Old Town Road"

and didn't even make it to
"road" before you got the foot.

-Best eight seconds
of my life.

-[gasps]

There's Hasty Delaney,
season three episode six.

You got robbed.

-Thank you.

I always love hearing
from my fans.

-But what are you doing
down here?

-Building karaoke machines.
See?

-[gasps]

That monster Rowan trapped you
down here

and is forcing you to build
karaoke machines?

-Trapped? No.

The exit's right over there.

It leads into the basement
of a Sbarro's.

-Why do you keep coming back?

-Rowan says
if we build enough machines,

we get another chance to sing
on the show.

-Well, how many do you have
to make?

-Not sure.

He says he'll let us know
when we get there.

-Until then,

we'll focus on what's
really important in life:

doing whatever we can
to get back on television.

-But the machines you're
making are pieces of junk.

-Oh, we know.

Rowan doesn't care
about the quality;

he only cares
that we build a lot of them.

-This is outrageous.
You are ripping people off.

People like us.

-Rowan told us not
to think of you as people.

-We gotta do something.
Right, Presley?

-Is this station free?

Because I'm getting
on that show.

♪ ♪

-And cue music.

[upbeat music playing]

-[singing in Norwegian]

Nice to see ya.

[singing in Norwegian]

Ha!

[singing in Norwegian]

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

Ugh, my stupid phone
ruined the take!

-It's okay.

The last one we posted
was incredible.

[phone ringing]

Hey, someone's calling you
from Norway.

I can tell because all the
zeroes have lines through them.

-Hallo!

Uh-huh?

Uh-huh, uh-huh?

It's the captain
from my old cruise ship.

He saw the video online
and wants me back.

-What are you gonna say?
-Watch.

I'll only go if I can bring
my music producer, Fisher.

Yes, I do insist.

Okay, sounds good.
[chuckles]

-What did he say?
-He refused.

But you know what?

I'd rather be here with my son

than on some cruise ship
in Norway.

-Thanks, Dad.
Wanna keep singing?

-[sighs]
Cue the music, son.

[upbeat music playing]

[singing in Norwegian]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

-I got a slice
of Hasty's birthday cake.

This place is okay.

-This place is not okay.

Like, can you believe
these people?

They're all mindless drones
being taken advantage of.

-I know.

Well, my break is over.

-Presley, wait.

You don't want to spend
your whole life down here

making karaoke machines.

This place is the worst.

-[gags]
Lex is right.

The cake here is awful.
It has coconut.

-Don't let Rowan
take advantage of you

like he's taking advantage
of everybody else here.

And if you stay, I would
miss you way too much.

I didn't want to have
to do this

because I know it's your thing,
but...

-How could you say no
to that face?

-I can't.
-[chuckles]

Well, I'm glad I got through
to you.

I don't think anyone else
is gonna listen.

-Oh, they're about to.

Munchy,
get everyone's attention.

-Butts! Butts! Butts! Butts!
[electrical sizzling]

The floor is yours.

-Hey, my friend just taught me
a valuable lesson

that you all need to learn.

-Why should we listen to her?
She's never been on TV.

-I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but there are things more
important than being on TV.

[all gasp]

-Presley is right.

No amount of fame
is worth putting together

cheap karaoke machines
that don't work.

It's not fair.

Let me tell you a story
about a Lettuce Patch Doll--

-No, no, no, no, no, no.

I got this.

You guys came
on "Karaoke Kickoff"

because of your love
of singing.

When was the last time
you did that down here?

-I sang "Happy Birthday"
to Hasty today

and it felt great.

But then I went back to work.

-Yeah, after you fed him some
of that stupid coconut cake.

Be better, people.

-Your voices deserve
to be heard.

There's a live episode
of "Karaoke Kickoff"

happening right now,
so let's go up there and sing.

-But Rowan says we have
to keep building machines

to get back on TV.

-He says that,

but has anyone actually gotten
back on the show?

-What about Parker?
Parker got back on.

-No, I'm still here.

-I guess no one's gotten
back on.

-See?

Rowan's tricking you
into thinking

you'll get back on the show,
but you never will.

-Meanwhile, he's getting rich
from selling these machines.

-It's time to stop
listening to him

and start listening
to your vocal cords.

[all chatter in agreement]

-Let's take over the show.
[all cheering]

-Follow me to freedom!

-Should we tell him

we can get to the studio
through this door or?

-There's no time.

♪ ♪

-Please welcome
our next contestant,

Penelope Peterson!

What are you gonna sing for us,
Penelope?

-I'll be singing
"How to Hug A Rainbow."

-Okay, get up on that stage!
This is your time to shine.

-No, it isn't!

-[yelps]

-What are you two doing here?

-We're about
to set the record straight.

-First of all,
we would like to apologize

to that little girl
we just pushed.

-But this is very important,
so I'm sure she'll understand.

-The karaoke machines
that Rowan Van Doren sells

are garbage.

-Whoa, hey, hey, hey!

-They're assembled
by past contestants

because Rowan promised them a
chance to get back on the show.

-But they never do.

-These kids are obviously
liars, like all kids.

Get me another contestant!

-You want a contestant?
We've got plenty.

-What?
What?

[gasping]

-We made it!
Everyone follow me!

Oh, you're all here.

-Hey, everyone off my stage!
Get back to work!

-Get him!

-No, no touching!
No, no!

No, you--
no touching, no touching!

Okay, look!

Is this about getting a refund
for your karaoke machine?

'Cause I'm sure we can come
to an agreement.

-My friend and I have already
come to an agreement on this.

both: You get the foot!

[buzzer blares]

-No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

[cheers and applause]

-Have a piece of coconut cake
on me!

-Hey, well,
the show is still live

and singing on that stage
is your dream.

Go get famous.

-It's not about fame anymore;
it's about having fun.

Unless I get famous.
Then forget I said that.

Now come sing with me.

[cheers and applause]

-I know the perfect song.

♪ ♪

-♪ If you're having
a bad day ♪

♪ Turn it upside down ♪

♪ Look at it from a new way ♪

♪ And it's not always easy ♪

♪ You gotta get
your mind right ♪

both: ♪ 'Cause you're one
in a billion ♪

♪ There's just one you,
that's a fact, not opinion ♪

♪ Go shine
'cause you're brilliant ♪

♪ And I can see
your future's bright ♪

♪ No one else
is just like you ♪

♪ So be yourself ♪

♪ Yeah, it's all about
our individuality ♪

♪ That's the beauty of the
differences in you and me ♪

♪ Yeah, it's all about,
it's all about our attitude ♪

♪ 'Cause only I can be me
and only you can be you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Yes, only you can be you ♪

♪ Yes, only you ♪

♪ Only, only me ♪

♪ You hoo ♪

♪ Yes, only you can be you ♪

♪ Only, only me and you ♪

[cheers and applause]

-This is ours now!

Yes!
[upbeat music]