- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[exciting music]
♪
[tires screech]
- I am so glad
we signed up
for those ballroom
dance classes.
- Me too.
One tango lesson
and I am a pro.
Ba-rat-ta-ta-ta-ra-yah!
[thud]
- Ow, ow, thorns!
- Doh! Oh, sorry, sorry!
I'll get the first aid kit.
[keys jingle]
[groans]
Those darn kids!
[door bangs]
I have told you guys
a million times,
you got to lock
the doors at night!
- Come on, Pops.
What's the big whoop?
- Oh, I'll tell you
what the big whoop is.
There've been some burglaries
in the neighborhood,
and I don't want us
to be next.
So please, just...lock...
the...dang...door.
It's not that hard!
- Uh...honey?
- Listen, guys,
Dad's right.
We need to start
acting responsible,
or we're gonna lose
all our stuff.
- I don't want to lose my a*!
[sneaky music]
- I don't want to lose
mine either!
♪
- I don't want to lose
my soul mate.
♪
- And I don't want to lose
mine either.
[laughing]
- I don't want to lose
my life's work.
♪
- I don't want to lose
mine either.
♪
- Well, if we want
to protect our stuff,
locking the door
isn't enough.
We got to lock
this place down!
sisters: Yeah! We do!
- Ga-ga!
[siren wails]
- State your name
and business.
- Bobby?
What's going on?
- New security measures.
Lori asked me
to protect Casa Loud.
So come on, Clyde.
Name and business.
- Sure. But wait,
you just said my name.
- Do we have
a problem here?
- It's okay,
Boo Boo Bear.
I'll vouch for him.
Go ahead, Clyde.
- Thanks,
L-L-Lori.
She vouched for me.
[hyperventilating]
[horns blare]
[alarm wailing]
- Ah!
Splendid.
My motion sensors
are working perfectly.
[laser humming]
- Ahh!
[thwack]
- Excellent.
My staircase ramp
is also working.
Now to check
the alligator pit.
- Noooo!
[bell ringing]
[noir music]
Agent McBride
reporting for duty.
- Welcome to
the command center, McBride.
Anything goes down
in Royal Woods,
we'll be the first
to know about it.
- Coffee?
- You read my mind.
[both slurping]
[coffee splashing]
I'll go get us
some juice...
and some napkins.
[radio static crackles]
- Attention, all units.
We've got an -
at Mile and Oak.
- An - ?
What's that?
- "Failure
to pick up dog poop."
- This used to be
a nice town.
- Uh,
what's going on?
- Brother, if you have
valuables to protect,
you can store them
in the safe room.
- Why is the bathroom
the safe room?
- Because of the cameras
I installed last year.
- You installedcameras?
[laughing]
Get it?
- Whoa, toots.
You're leaving me
locked in here
with Count Creepy?
- Ugh, please.
Edwin's the one
who should be complaining.
- O...kay.
- It's the burglar!
[suspenseful music]
- Leni, what's
your first move?
- Heyyyyy.
So, like, how long
have you been burgling?
- What are you doing?
- Breaking the ice!
He's cute.
[camera snaps]
- Ugh, okay.
Lola, this burglar
just stole your tiaras.
- Hi-yah!
[punches landing]
- Lola! I think he liked me!
- [gasps]
The burglar!
♪
- Chill,
banana boy.
I'm training Charles
to be a vicious guard dog.
I'm the burglar!
att*ck, boy!
- [whimpers]
[snoring]
- Look! I'm stealing
your food!
- [growls lightly]
- [chewing loudly]
Ugh!Charles!
Mmm, what is this,
chipped beef?
- Got my
dancing shoes on,
and I am ready to get down
and get back up again!
Rat-ta-ta!
Look-ah-oh.
[siren wails]
- State your names and business.
Sorry,
new security measures.
- You hear that, honey?
New security measures.
I think I've really
gotten through to the kids.
Thank you, Bobby!
- Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Loud,
but before you go dancing,
I really do need
your names and business.
- Uh, you just said
our names and business.
- Dang it! I got to stop
doing that!
- [snoring]
[radio static crackles]
- Attention, all units.
We've got a -
at Mile and Lindbrook.
[bell rings]
- - ! Oh, no!
I missed my curfew.
- No, Clyde, that's a code.
[gasps]
You guys!
They caught the burglar!
[all cheering]
- Oh, Donny!
We should've
run off to Mexico
while we had the chance.
[tires screech]
- I tell ya, honey,
one lesson in the hustle,
and I am a pro.
Rat-ta-ta--
Oh!
[thud]
- Why don't you hustle in
and get me a towel?
[keys jingle]
[drumroll]
- Oh, come on!
- Eddie baby! Call me!
We'll do lunch!
What? He's spooky, but he's
got a heart of porcelain.
- Guys, I just found
the door wide open!
What gives?
- Oh, we're sorry, Dad.
But we don't
have to worry anymore.
They caught
the burglar.
- That's peachy, son,
but there could be
other burglars out there!
- Actually, Father,
based on Royal Woods'
crime rates per capita,
that is
statistically unlikely.
- Yeah, I've been listening
to the scanner all day,
and the worst crime
I've heard about
is someone not picking up
their dog poop.
- Where?
I'll pick it up!
- But, kids--
- Oh, calm down.
- Yeah, Dad.
- It'll be okay.
- Why does nobody
listen to me?
[dramatic music]
- Uh, honey?
- Off to dance class, kids!
Please keep the door locked
while we're gone.
- Sure, I got it.
- Get right on that.
- [sighs]
[engine turning over]
- Help! Help!
I've been robbed!
♪
- Mr. Grouse!
What happened?
- They cleaned me out!
My polka records!
My black-and-white TV!
My encyclopedias!
All gone!
♪
- I literally don't know
what any of those things are.
- Dad was right.
There are other burglars.
both: And our house
could be next!
- Not if we have
anything to say about it.
- Eddie, baby!
I brought my pinochle deck!
♪
- You guys,
I found a deadly spray
to use against
the burglar.
See?
"Fatal Encounter."
- Leni, that's
a perfume sample.
- Siblings, I'm enhancing
my security system.
I need a retina scan.
[scanner beeping]
I also need
a stool sample.
- For your
security system?
- Uh, sure, that's it.
[sizzling]
- Operation Grease Releaseis a go.
Let's get this baby
upstairs.
- What do we do
with all the bacon?
- That's a high-class problem
to have, my friend.
- [barking]
- Charles!
You're supposed to chomp
burglar butts, not bacon.
[sighs]
I should've trained the cat.
♪
[barbwire squeaking,
shovel scraping]
- These will put a ro-dent
in the burglar's plans!
[laughing]
Get it?
They're mousetraps.
- [groans]
- Really, dude?
- Ow!
- Hey, Bobby.
- My Roller Derby team
is gonna help you patrol.
- Hmm. Do they have
any policing experience?
- No, but they can do this.
[thud]
- [groans]
You're hired.
[alarm blares]
[metal screeches]
- Good evening,
parental units.
We are going to need to conduct
a routine body search.
- What in the world
is going on?
- Mr. Grouse got robbed.
We had to beef up security.
- We used
your credit card.
- Kids, I'm glad you're
taking this seriously,
but you may have gone
a little overboard.
- A little?
- We don't need
all this security.
If we just lock the doors
and windows, we'll be fine.
Now, everyone to bed.
- Okay, Dad.
- If you say so.
- I'm still gonna need
those stool samples.
[sneaky music]
♪
[knocking]
- Thanks for pretending
to be robbed.
I think my kids
really learned their lesson.
- I would have scared them
for free,
but I'll gladly
take your muffins.
♪
- Lock.
Dad would be so proud.
[doorknob rattling]
- [groans]
[crickets chirping]
[grunting]
[yells]
[thud]
♪
- [gasps]
[bells ringing]
Battle stations, guys!
We've got a burglar
on the premises!
[all gasp]
- Oh, my gosh,
what do we do?
He's gonna
take all our stuff!
- Get it together,
woman!
- Thanks,
I needed that.
But I'll get you back.
- [whimpers]
- Don't trouble yourself
or anything, Charles.
- [whines]
♪
[air horn blares]
- Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Eat hot
bacon grease!
♪
Make that
congealed bacon grease.
[bell rings]
[siren wails]
Keep a tight formation, ladies.
This is what
we trained for!
[punches landing]
- Wait, wait!
I recognize those dancing shoes.
Off! Off!
all: Dad!
- I...was just
taking a walk
and I got locked out.
- We're so sorry!
- Sorry, Dad.
- We're so sorry.
- Hey, Loud!
These muffins
got walnuts in them.
Next time you want to pay me off
for pretending to be robbed,
how about giving me something
I'm not allergic to?
- Pretending to be robbed?
- Dad!
- Our own father.
- You lied to us?
- Bogus move, Dad.
- [sighs]
I'm sorry, everyone.
I was just trying to teach you
to lock the dang door.
I just want to protect
my most important valuables...
you guys.
all: Aww!
- Okay, Dad,
we'll lock the door.
- You're the greatest.
- Love you.
- [whimpers]
[barks]
♪
[crunch]
- Ouch!
- Finally!
[rock music]
♪
[birds chirping]
- Hold still.
Got it!
- Whoa!
Great sh*t!
First mustache hair ever.
This one's definitely going
in the "Lincoln Library."
- Lincoln library?
[jazzy music]
- Yep,
it's the folder
where I keep all
my cherished memories.
Check it out.
Here's me and Lynn
in the bathtub.
Lori feeding me
my first ice cream.
My first
mechanical pony ride.
And now
my first mustache hair--
[dramatic music]
Whoa!
Where you going?
♪
[gasps]
No, no, no, no, no!
Sto-o-op!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
[gasps]
All my childhood memories
are gone!
- Don't worry, buddy.
This happened to me once,
but I got them all back.
My dads saved them
in the cloud.
♪
- What do you think,
Charles?
More cheese,
less cheese?
- [barks]
- You're right.
Always more cheese.
- Dad!
Do we have
the cloud?
- Well, of course
we do, Lincoln.
- [sighs]
- We also have the sky
and the sun and the moon--
- No, I mean
the digital cloud,
where you store stuff
from your computer.
- Oh, that cloud!
No.
- [whimpers]
I can't believe it--
all my childhood memories
gone forever.
- Let it out, buddy.
Dr. Lopez says,
"The first step of healing
is to honor
your feelings."
- No, no, no, no, no!
Charles, bad!
I hate Mondays.
[sighs]
Guess I'll just
have to remake it.
- Remake it?
Clyde, that's the answer!
- Good idea.
Helping your dad
with his lasagna
might take your mind
off your loss.
That's the second
step of healing.
- No, I mean
we'll remake the photos.
- Hmm.Denial.
That's actually
a step backwards.
But I'm in!
- Guys,
hallway meeting!
- Ho, ho,
this better be good.
I was in the middle
of my lunges.
- Oh, it's better
than good.
Who wants to have
a really fun day
re-creating some classic
family photos?
- Uh, hard pass.
- Sorry, dude. We're all
headed to the mall.
Big sale
on studded chokers.
- And coffin linings.
- And dual-flush toilets.
- Dang it.
We need a plan B.
♪
- Or do we need a...
plan C?
Get it?
The C is for Clyde.
- I get it,
and I like it.
But wait, do you really think
you can play all my sisters?
- Pssh, my dads and I
have been doing
Friday night scene study
for years.
I once played
all the orphans in "Annie."
Ever heard of it?
Now get me my plunger!
- Wow, you have more layers
than my dad's lasagna.
Okay, first sh*t--
me and Lynn in the tub.
And this time, we're not
taking any chances.
I'm gonna use film
and print hard copies.
- Whatever, nerd.
Who uses film anymore?
Think fast!
- Oof!
Clyde, what gives?
- Sorry, Lincoln.
Just getting into character.
It's an actor thing.
- Okay,
light's good.
Water's good.
Props are ready.
[camera timer whirring]
Timer's set.
[water splashes]
[water bubbles]
- Submarine destroyer!
- Aw, man!
You farted?
- It felt right,
and I went with it.
[suspenseful music]
[pbbbt]
[camera shutter snaps]
- Next up: Lori feeding me
my first ice cream.
Chair is at optimal height.
Ice cream
is mint chocolate chip.
Diaper is snug
but not restrictive.
Clyde,
I'm ready for you on set!
Clyde?
Pfft.
Actors.
Ahhhgh!
[thud]
- Sorry,
I was just, uh...
doing some
character work.
[rock music]
[smooching]
Sorry, Bobby.
It's literally over.
I'm in love with Clyde.
[camera timer whirring]
Well, it worked,
'cause you look just like Lori.
- Really?
L-L-L-Lori?
[suspenseful music]
[groans]
- Next up: my first
mechanical pony ride
with Lucy and Luan.
- I could have
played both roles.
You didn't have
to hire an amateur.
- Wassup, playas?
Lucy Loud
is in the house!
- Rusty,
a little acting tip.
Lucy would never
say that.
- You just worry
about your Lola.
- I'm Luan! Did you
at all prepare for this?
- Guys, let's just
get the sh*t.
[camera timer whirring]
[mechanical pony
music playing]
[all scream]
[camera shutter snaps]
- Wow, that's really putting
the cart before the horse!
[laughing]Get it?
- Hey, Mr. Grouse.
We're taking a photo
and we really need
someone to play Santa.
- Hard pass.
- What if I can make it
worth your while?
- [munching]
I'm not a fan
of playing dress-up,
but I do love
your dad's lasagna.
- Okay, I did not think
you'd eat the whole tray,
but I'm sure we can find
something else for dinner.
We're burning daylight,people.
Where's my elf?
- One sec, Lincoln.
Just have to finish
this train.
[crunch]
Ow!
- Clyde,
you stand here.
- [snoring]
[camera timer whirring]
Oof!
[belches]
[thud]
- Ow!
[yelps]
[camera shutter snaps]
- Okay, Clyde,
moment of truth.
Let's see how
our first roll came out.
[dramatic music]
♪
both: These...are...
awesome!
- I'm not gonna lose my
childhood memories after all!
- Whoo-hoo!
So what's
our next scene?
- It's my seventh birthday.
- Great!
Will it require an accent?
Do I need to gain weight?
- Thank you Clyde,
but that won't be necessary.
- I also do my own stunts.
[yells]
[clang]
[upbeat music]
[both panting]
- So glad we still
have this thing.
- Wish you still had
the pump, though.
[gasps]
- Wait...
my seventh birthday
didn't have
a bounce house.
It was
a lucha libre party.
- [whimpers]
- Come on, Clyde.
We need to redress the set.
- I think I need to go
lie down for a minute...
in Lori's bed.
- If I remember
the photo right,
I was on the ground and Lynn
was leaping on top of me.
- Cool,
just give me a second
to get back into
Lynn's character.
[grunts]
Okay, good to go!
[camera timer whirring]
[Mexican hat dance playing]
Lunatic Lynn
off the third turnbuckle!
Aieeeeeee!
- [gasps]
Wait a minute!
[thud]
- Oof!
- It wasn't
lucha libre.
It was circus-themed!
- I'll get
my clown shoes.
[playful music]
- Wait,
it wasn't a clown.
It was a lion tamer.
- [yells]
[thud]
Ooh!
- Out of my...
[belches]
Yard!
♪
- Wait,
it wasn't a lion tamer.
It was a contortionist.
[cat snarling]
No, it wasn't
a contortionist.
It was a guy
sh*t out of a cannon.
[thud]
[marching band music]
Hmm,
wait a minute.
- Oh, no, are you
changing your mind?
'Cause if you're
changing your mind,
you should definitely
get me out of
heeeeeeeere!
- What did we do
at that party?
Sorry to put you
through that, buddy.
- That's okay, Lincoln.
It was nothing compared
to the roof tumble I took
during "Fiddler" last
Friday Family Theater night.
- We got a problem, Clyde.
My memories are starting
to slip away.
We need to get through
the rest of these photos fast.
- No problem.
Just let me get some new pants.
[fast-paced string music]
[camera timer whirring]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snapping]
[both breathing heavily]
sisters: Lincoln!
- What are you doing
with all our stuff?
- [gasps] That tiara is never
supposed to touch the ground!
- Ladies, don't worry.
I'm going
to put everything back
right after
I develop this--
[fly buzzing]
[dramatic music]
Nooooooooo!
I can't believe
I forgot to load the film.
[groans]
[thud]
Potty, sandbox,
lion tamer, lasagna...
- Lincoln!
Snap out of it!
You're babbling!
- Are you okay?
Clyde told us
what you were trying to do.
- Then he caught a glimpse
of Lori
and lost consciousness.
- L-L-L-L--
- Don't say her name so loud.
- We're really sorry
you lost all your photos.
Do you want us
to help you re-create them?
- Yeah, I shutter to think
what you're going through.
[laughing]
Get it?
- [sighs]
Thanks anyway, guys,
but it's useless.
My childhood memories
are already gone.
I can't even remember
what happened
at my seventh birthday party.
- I can.
You had a magician.
You literally freaked out
about his rabbit.
- [screaming]
- [barking]
[splat]
- Oof!
[laughter]
- I can't believe
you remember that.
- Dudes, remember
what happened
at Lincoln's sixth
birthday party?
- [laughs]
At the bowling alley?
I'll never forget that.
- [screaming]
Oof!
[laughter]
- That was the only strike
you ever got, lame-o!
- Do you guys
remember that time
when Lincoln deleted
all of his photos
off the computer?
[laughing]
- Uh, that was
this morning.
- [laughs]
I know! Remember?
- Yeah,
what about the time
Lincoln got
into Mom's cosmetics?
[playful music]
- [babbles]
- Now, there's a story
you couldn't makeup.
[siblings groan]
- [laughs]
- And the time he spent
all day on his bike
trying to catch
the end of the rainbow?
- Or the time he wore his
Blarney the Dinosaur costume
every day for a week.
- Ooh! How about
how he got his chipped tooth?
[laughter]
- Turns out, I have
nothing to worry about.
With all my sisters,
it's like having
the Lincoln Library
times ten.
I'm pretty sure whatever's
happened in my life,
they'll help me remember it.
- How about that time
Lincoln tried
to climb the shelves
to get cookies?
[pants rip]
[laughter]
- That one,
I'd rather forget.
[laughter]
- [laughs]
[rock music]
[camera snaps]
Perfect start
to the new Lincoln Library.
Now with cloud backup.
- Who used
all my lipstick?
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house
02x08 & 02x09 - Lock 'N' Loud/The Whole Picture
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.