02x20 & 02x21 - Pulp Friction/Pets Peeved

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[surf rock]

♪♪

[ominous music]

♪♪

[maniacal laughter]

- Game over, Ace Savvy
and One-Eyed Jack!

- Think again, Wild Card Willy!

I've got a few more cards
up my sleeve.

[horn honking]

- All right girls,
let's deal with these losers.

♪♪

- Eep! Get them!

- You take the baby.
I'll take the princess.

- Excuse you.
I am the queen.

- Aah!
- [grunts]

- Aah!

- Get ready to do
the bad-guy shuffle.

[electric guitar]

- No aces in this hole.

[footsteps running]

- pick-up!

- Or more precisely, six.

Make that seven.

- Hey guys,
check out my new outfit.

It's perfect for fall weather

and springing into action!

Ugh, these belts are so ' s.

- Wild Card's getting away!

- Hey, Willy, go fish!

- Aah!

Wah!

- I see your bet and raise you!
[laughs]

- Willy, why do you always
have to play dirty cards?

- 'Cause that's the only way
to clean up.

So, I guess it's off to jail
for me.

[together] The end.

- That was sick!
- Awesome!

- Where'd you get the idea
for all those

butt-kicking super ladies?

- From my sisters.
They've always got my back.

Except for Lola.

You never turn your backon Lola.

- So if you fellas win
the contest,

they'll make this here
into a real Ace Savvy comic?

- And we'll get to meet
the creator, Bill Buck!

- Bill Buck!

- Well, I think your comic's
totally gonna win.

- Darn tootin'.
- Word.

- Loud, McBride, school time is
meant for learning,

not for doodling
degenerate fantasies.

This trash belongs to me now.

- But Principal Huggins,
you can't take our comic!

- Oh, and now you're
giving me sass?

That's detention!
Today. Till : .

- But we have to get
to the post office by : .

That's the contest deadline.

- Oh, I didn't realize.
I'll just give it back to you.

Not!

I've got just the thing

to keep those doodling hands
of yours busy:

cleaning erasers.

- But we're not criminals.
All we did was make a comic.

And we're getting it back.

[grunting]

Dang it. He locked us in
from the outside.

- [snarls]

- Okay, plan B:
we'll sharpen a bunch of pencils

and dig our way out.

- Or I could just pick the lock.

Not that your idea wasn't great.

- Lola?
Why are you busting us out?

- 'Cause we heard about Huggins
confiscating your comic book.

- The one starring me
as Queen of Diamonds.

- And me as The Royal Flush.

- You think we're gonna let
some power-tripping principal

take away our chance
to get famous?

- Sweet! Now we just got
to find a way

to sneak into Huggins' office
and get our comic back.

- Maybe we can use your pencils.

- Forget that. Hop on.

- I tried, buddy.

We got to find a way to get
Huggins out of his office.

- It's taken care of.

- Principal Huggins!
Principal Huggins!

We have got a situation
in the gym!

- Aah!
[bats squeaking]

- I'm on it!

- Now we have
to distract Cheryl.

- It's taken care of.

- Hello, Cheryl.
I took the liberty

of assessing the school budget,

and encountered numerous
instances of wasteful spending.

- Oh, that's very cute, sweetie,

but I'm sure everything here is
in order.

- Item one:
the two dozen fresh cut roses

you sent to yourself
on Secretary's Day.

Put on a pot of coffee,
sweetie.

We're gonna be here a while.

- Come on. Come on.
Where is it?

- There!

- Problem solved, Cheryl.

We got rid of the bats,
and Coach is resting comfortably

after his rabies sh*t.

I'm headed home for the day.

You can let Loud and McBride out
of detention at : ,

but only if the erasers are
clean.

- [gasps] Oh, no!

Huggins just took our comic
home with him!

- And worse: we didn't finish
cleaning the erasers!

- There goes Huggins!

How are we gonna catch up
to him?

- It's taken care of.

- Lincoln, where have you been?

The post office closes
in minutes!

- Change of plans.
Principal Huggins has the comic.

Follow that golf cart,
High Card.

- Let's rock, dudes!

[rock music]

♪♪

- [humming]

♪ Ooh girl

♪ If I could
ooh girl ♪

- I got eyes on the comic.

- Yeesh!

- Raccoon!

[all shouting]

[horn honks]

- Move it, lady!

- Oh, am I going too slow
for you?

[beeping]

- Guys, we're literally
losing him!

- Don't worry.
He won't give us the slip.

- ♪ Ooh girl
do-do-do ♪

Whoa!

Whoa-oh-oh!

- We still have five minutes
to get it to the post office.

- Let's roll.
- And rock!

[rock music]

[thump]
Dudes, I can't play action music

if there's no action.

- Bad news, guys.

We pushed Vanzilla too hard.

[together] No!

- Hey, guys,
check out the new look!

- Leni, this isn't the time
to talk about fashion.

♪♪

- I never thought I'd say this,
but good thinking, Leni.

- I got the idea from Lincoln's
coloring book.

- Thanks for the tow!
[pig oinks]

- Just hurry up
and make us famous!

[together] This needs
to be mailed by four o'clock.

What are you doing here?

- Is that a comic book?

- A what? No.

I mean, shouldn't you boys be
in detention?

- It is a comic book.

"The Adventures of Ace Savvy
and the Principal Valiant"

by Wilbur T. Huggins.

- [gasps] You're entering
the Ace Savvy contest?

- And your name is Wilbur?

- Look!
New commemorative stamps!

Aah! Oof!

- So that's why you confiscated
our comic book

and put us in detention:

to knock us out of the running!

- Okay, okay, I did it,
but I had to.

When I heard
how great your comic was,

I knew mine wouldn't
stand a chance.

- But, sir, why is a comic book
contest so important to you?

You're a successful
school administrator.

You've got your own golf cart.

- Yes, it's true.
I have it all.

But it wasn't always this way.

When I was your age,
I didn't have a lot of friends.

But I had Ace.

Yeah! Get 'em, Ace!

Way to deal out some justice!

[baseball bat thwacks]

[all laughing]

- Look at him!

- Those comics meant the world
to me.

I wanted to win the contest
so I could meet Bill Buck

and thank him for getting me
through a lonely childhood.

But I went too far.
I'm sorry, boys.

You deserve to win. Not me.

As Ace Savvy would say,
deal me out.

- Wow. I guess there's more
to Huggins than meets the eye.

- Yeah. And his story
just gave me an idea.

both: Principal Huggins, wait!

- Oh, yes, of course.
You'll need my administrator ID

to report me
to the school board.

- No!
We're not reporting anyone.

Clyde and I get it.

Ace has gotten us
through some tough times too.

- Yeah, like when Lori
first got together with Bobby.

It was a rainy Tuesday.
I wore suede shoes.

That was a mistake.

- I think he gets the idea,
Clyde.

And we're not mad,
because you just gave us

a much better ending
for our comic.

- I did?
- You did.

But we got to hurry.
We only have a minute.

- I think I can buy you
a few minutes.

[jazz music]

- I'm sorry, sir.
We're closing.

Ooh.

- Hello, Mrs... Lee, is it?

I believe your son Wyatt
attends my school.

How would he like
a little extra recess?

Maybe a get-out-of-gym pass?

- Willy, why do you always have
to play dirty cards?

- I'm not an evil guy.
I was just dealt a bad hand.

As a lonely kid, the only game
I knew was solitaire.

So I guess it's off to jail
for me.

- I have a better idea.

[tires screech]

- The Old Maid's making off
with the jackpot!

- You'll never catch me, Savvy!
[laughs]

- Oh, I wouldn't be so sure,

'cause we've got a new cardto play.

Especially when we learn
Wild Card was a lonely kid.

I read a lot of entries
with great action sequences,

but none with this kind
of heart.

- It was inspired
by our principal here.

He really wanted to meet you.

- Sir, it is an honor.
I just never--

ah, this is the best day of my--
[sighs]

- Hey, what did you think
of the Queen of Diamonds?

Wasn't she your favorite part?

Here. Let me show you some
of my ideas for an action figure

and a bed sheet set.

[all shouting at once]

- Whoa. This is kind of
a full house.

[upbeat music]

♪♪

[bird tweeting]

[cat meows]

- Hey, guys, we're home!

- How's my Felis catus?
- Oh, you're so cute!

I love you so much!
- Yes, you are!

- Sit, Charles.

Now shake.

Now play dead.

- Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today...

- Get the dot! Go get the dot!

- I'm trying,
but it's going too fast!

[baby laughing]

- Guys! Guess what I found!

[dog whimpers]

- Ooh! Pretty earmuffs. Give me!

- They're not earmuffs.
This is a dog.

I found it wandering
in the park.

It doesn't have a collar.

all: Aww!

[all speaking at once]

- Are you hungry, little guy?

- Dudes, we should give him
a treat.

- I was literally just going
to say that.

Except for the "dudes" part.

[dog barks]

[dog barks, cat meows]

[bird tweets, hamster squeaks]

- Aw, sorry, guys.

You can have treats anytime.

Right now this poor lost doggie
is hungry.

[all groan]

- Aww!
- Lay your weary head

to rest, brah.

- Uh, that's his butt.
- Bogus.

[cat meows]
- Ow, Cliff! No claws.

- Ahh. I loaned the puppy
my toothbrush,

so now we're both ready for bed.

- Well, too bad he's sleepingwith me.

- I don't want to get ruff
with you,

but he's sleeping with me.

- Nuh-uh!

He's sleeping in my bed!
- False!

[whistle blows]

- Fear not, siblings.
I have the solution.

There are eight hours of sleep
and eleven siblings

who desire to share
their slumber

with the adorable canine.

Therefore, said canine will
spend . minutes in each bed.

all: Agreed!

- Sorry, buddy.
I got to keep this spot free

for my . minutes.

[dog whimpers]
- Sorry, Walt.

- Sorry, Cliff.
- Sorry, Geo.

[dog groans]

[meowing, squeaking, chirping]

- [barking]
- Pets for sale!

Come get your pre-owned,
previously loved pets!

[cat yowling]

[cat yowls]

[animals cheer]

[whispering]

- [whistles]

- [barking]

[glass shatters]

- [gasps] Our wedding present
from Aunt Ruth!

I have been wanting to get rid
of that ugly thing for years,

but I felt too guilty.

You get a treat.

Oops, that's your butt.

- [humming]

You ate the whole thing? Oh!

Finally someone who appreciates

my liverwurst, shrimp,
and hot mayo casserole!

[sighs] Usually,
eating it's a one way ticket

to the sink or toilet, huh?

[stomachs growl]

- [gasps, then giggles]

- [barks]

[barks]

[barks]

[all speaking at once]

foreboding music]

♪♪

- [gasps]
Look at those muddy paws!

- You know what that means!

all: Bath time!

- I'll grab my loofah!
- Yeah!

- Look at this little puppy!

- [barks]

- Green Mile Pet Sanctuary.
This is Schmitty.

How may I help you?

- [barking]

- You sound like a stray,
little doggie.

Keep on barking
so I can track your location.

- [barks]

- Got you!

- [barking]

- [whistles]

- [whines]

- Schmitty, this is Corinne.
Got your stray. Over.

[engine revs]

[peaceful music]

- We'll return
to the : movie after this.

- Here at the
Green Mile Pet Sanctuary,

we need your help.

All of these cute little
animals need a home.

For just the cost
of a cup of coffee,

you could save the life of an
adorable, helpless friend.

Won't you adopt one today?

Green Mile Pet Sanctuary.

- [barking]

[adventure music]

♪♪

- [meows]

- [meowing]

♪♪

[phone rings]

- Green Mile Pet Sanctuary.

This is Schmitty.
How can I help you?

What the heck?

all: Shh!

- [whimpers]

[barks]

[barks]
all: Shh!

- Cheap, crummy monitors.

Mmm, like those lumps.

Hey! Get back here!

Doh!

♪♪

- Oh, yeah! Corinne for the win!

Schmitty, this is Corinne.
Over.

I apprehended the fugitive
and his accomplices.

We're gonna need
four more cages. Over.

[maniacal laughter]
Over.

[growling and screeching]

[heroic music]

♪♪

- What? Oh, no, you don't.

[tires squeal]

[laughter]

Whoa!

- [barks]

- [laughs]

Nice try, you little
troublemakers.

[thud]

[laughs] Got you!

You got to get up pretty early
in the mor--

- [barking]

- Well, yeah, that one,
but he'll get his.

[dark music]

Oh, but don't you worry.
I'll find that--

- [snarling]
- Huh?

[heroic music]

Ow!

[screaming]

- Well, Clyde hasn't seen them.
- Neither has Bobby.

Come on. We have to go look
for them.

Everyone, bring your posters.

- I don't know what I'm gonna do
if we don't find them! [crying]

- Whilst I normally view animals
as mere test subjects,

those little guys are family.

[all crying]

[dog barks]

- Sometimes I can still
hear them.

[all crying]
[dog barking]

Wait!

[all cheering]

- [whining]

[all speaking at once]

- You, too, new puppy!
Get in here.

You're part of our family, too.

[together]
You're an official Loud.

[doorbell rings]

- Hi. My name's Clare.
I'm looking for my dog.

He slipped out of his collar,
and--Watterson!

There you are!
I've missed you!

Oh! How I've missed you!

He's my best friend
in the whole wide world.

Thank you for taking care
of him.

- It was literally our pleasure.

- Aw, looks like you're
going home, little dude.

- Uh, Luna, that's his butt.

- Bye, Watterson.
I'm sorry you won't be a Loud,

but I'm glad
your friend found you.

- [barks]
- Come on, Watterson.

Time to get you home.

all: Bye!

- We'll miss you!
- Love you!

- Come on, Watterson!
Come on, boy!

- We're so glad you're home.

How about we all go to the
kitchen for a nice big treat?

- Does anyone know
why my slide projector was

in Charles' dog house?

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house