03x24 - Sitting Bull

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[pop punk music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, are either
of you guys free

for a babysitting job tonight?
Mrs. McCauley just called

and I can't do it.
I'm sitting for the Dunscombes.

- Sorry, dude,
I got the Katzes tonight.

I'm gonna teach Jamie and
Sydney how to do a drum circle.

- I'm sitting for the Santinis.

I've got some great comedy
props

in case little Mary
gets an ouchie.

[hammer squeaks]
Whoa.

- [giggles]
Thanks, Luan.

That makes me feel much better
about my ouchie.

[toe rings]

- Hey, Leni, can you sit
for the McCauleys tonight?

- Sorry, I can't.
I'm sitting for the Lewises.

I'm giving Tia
and Salome makeovers.

They're one and two.
It's time.

- Hmm, okay.

I--I guess I'll have to tell
the McCauleys no one's free.

- What about Lynn?
She's .

That's when we all started
taking babysitting jobs.

- I don't know, dude.

She's not exactly
the nurturing type.

- And we don't wanna
blow our reputation

as Royal Woods'
best babysitters.

- Well, that is true.
But you guys,

it's only fair that
we give Lynn a chance.

[rock music]
- Ah-whoo! [cheering]

[barks]
Ah.

both: Ah!
[tires squeal]

[crash]

- Ow, watch it, you clod.

- You know how long it's gonna
take me to bump out this hood?

- Sorry, guys.
Apology punches.

- Ow.
- Ow.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yow!
- [giggling]

♪ ♪

[giggles]

- Still wanna
give her a chance?

- Hey, Lincoln,
how would you like

your first real
babysitting job?

- Babysitting?
Like, for money?

I'm in.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You can't give a babysitting
job to Stinkoln.

I'm next in line.
[grunts]

Ah, huh.
- But Lynn, let's face it,

you're not exactly
the nurturing type.

- What now?
I can nurture all day long.

Kids love me.
Right, Lis?

- [sighs] If it'll get you
to stop bruising my cranium,

I'll gladly respond
in the affirmative.

[yelps]
- See? That's a yes.

- [gurgling]
- [yelps]

- Come on, you guys.
Fair is fair.

I want some of that sweet
babysitting moola too.

Bye, Mr. and Mrs. McCauley.

Don't worry,
they're in good hands.

So, what do you guys wanna do?
- Play with my science kit.

- Play with
my dress-up sticker books.

- [imitates buzzer]
Sounds lame-o.

Come on, I'll show you guys
how to have some real fun.

All right,
when I blow the whistle,

you guys run to
the center of the ring

and wrestle.
[whistle blows]

Guys, lucha libre
is a contact sport.

This time, Caleb,
you bounce off the ropes

and come back at Camille
with an Angry Possum.

Like so.
- [grunts]

Ah!
I'm stuck.

- I guess you guys aren't
ready for wrestling yet.

- [sighs]

- 'Cause first you have
to get into shape.

Your parents have a serious
lack of exercise equipment,

so we'll have to improvise.

Camille, let's do some curls
with these kosher dills.

[jars rattling]

- Ow.
I heard something pop.

- That's totally normal.
Walk it off.

- [whimpering]

- 'Kay, Caleb, your turn.

Let's see you dead lift
this turkey.

- [groans]

- Important lesson
for you guys.

After a good workout,
you always wanna replenish

those proteins.

- Ooh, eggs.
May I please have scrambled?

- I like mine hardboiled.
- [imitates buzzer]

Cooking takes too long.

Your body needs
that protein now.

[eggs plop, slosh]

[dramatic music]

- [whimpering]

- Don't show weakness.
It'll just make things worse.

both: [sipping, gagging]

[groaning]

[burp]

- Can we please go to bed now?

- Ugh, okay, fine.

So I'm almost to the top
of the climbing wall

when I beef my foothold,
lose my grip,

and plummet feet
to the ground.

Bam! Broke my tibia so bad
you could see the bone

sticking out through the skin.

- [groans, retches]

- Well, that's a waste
of two perfectly good eggs.

What up, fellow babysitters?
- Hey, how did it go?

- Oh, great,
I hit it out of the park.

- Wow.
- Good for you.

- Thanks for letting me
in the group, you guys.

It means a lot.

- Well, dudes, guess we
misjudged old Lynn-sanity.

[phone rings]

- Hello?
Oh, hi, Mrs. McCauley.

What? She did?
She did?

Angry possum?
But--but--okay.

Goodnight.

- What happened?

- Lynn terrorized
the McCauley kids.

So now we're all fired
as their babysitters.

- No way.
- Bogus!

- I think we need to have
a little talk with her.

- I don't get it.

I thought we had
an awesome night.

- Lynn, you made a
five-year-old hand upside down

and do crunches.

- Yeah, and his abs
will thank me.

- We're sorry,
but you can't be

in the babysitting group
anymore.

- What? Come on.
It's not my fault

those kids didn't know
how to have fun.

Give me a decent family and
I'll show you I can crush it.

- Sorry, but we just can't
afford to lose

any more clients.

- I'm still available.
- Get out of here, Stinkoln.

- Ooh.
[thump, cow moos]

- This is literally
what we're talking about.

- Ugh.

Lynn Loud does
not accept defeat.

I'll show those guys
I got what it takes.

[foreboding music]

[phone rings]
I've got it.

Loud residence,
Lynn Jr. speaking.

- [indistinct squeaky speech]

- Oh, hi, Mr. Dunscombe.
Sure.

Let me ask Lori
if she's free on Friday.

[mischievous music]

[mumbling]

Sorry, Lori's not available.
But I'd be happy to babysit.

♪ ♪

- Who was that?
- A ding-dang telemarketer.

I told him to buzz off.
[phone rings]

- I can get it.
- Up, bup, bup.

Sit down., Stinkoln.

Loud residence.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Lewis.

- [indistinct squeaky speech]

- Oh, no, Leni's
not free on Saturday.

But I am.

- So you guys didn't
have any babysitting jobs

this weekend either?
- Nope.

Didn't get a single call.

- Me neither.
- Deadsville.

- Weird. Maybe we should check
in with our clients.

- Hi, Mrs. Lewis.
- Hi, Mr. Santini?

- Hey, Mr. Katz.
- Hi, Mrs. Dunscombe.

all: [eyes squeak]
Lynn did what?

- Ugh, I can't believe this.

Not only did she
steal our jobs,

she lost us four more clients.

- We have to tell her
this stops now.

- We can tell her,
but will she listen?

You know how she is.

- What if we can get her to
want to quit babysitting?

- How would we do that?
- Easy.

Get her to sit for the worst
kids in Royal Woods.

all: The Fox quintuplets.

- Ugh, they were
literally a nightmare.

all: [laughing maniacally]

- So mean.
- Little monsters.

- Bad to the bone.

- So it's a plan?
all: It's a plan.

- Hey, Lynn,
can we talk to you?

- Okay. I know what you guys
are gonna say,

but before you get mad,
let me explain--

- Oh, we're not mad.
- We get it, dude.

You were just trying to prove
you can handle babysitting.

- And guess what.
You proved it.

- Really?
So your clients liked me?

- [gasps]
Literally, loved.

- Yes! I knew it.
I told you guys.

So, you're taking me
off the bench?

- Yep. In fact, we already have
a new client lined up for you.

- Sweet.
Who is it?

Later, Mr. and Mrs. Fox.
[tires squeal]

So, g*ng,
what should we do tonight?

[dramatic choral music]

♪ ♪

- [chirping frantically]

♪ ♪

- Ah!

all: [laughing maniacally]

- Poor Lynn. I bet by now
those little monsters

have trapped her in the
crawlspace like they did to me.

[laughter]

- Or rolled her up in a rug

and pushed her down the stairs
like they did to me.

- Or thrown a skunk
in the bathroom

while she was
doing her business.

all: [eyes spring open]

- Well, Lynn had it coming.
- Literally.

- She gave us no choice.

- Guys, I'm trying to be
a team player here,

but I'm starting to feel bad.

- No, dude, I get it.
I am too.

- Me too.
Lynn's only .

And who knows what
kind of horrible mess

she's in right now.

- And all she wanted
was to be a part

of our babysitting group.

- We have to go help her.
- Agreed.

But first, we'll need some
protective gear.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, guys, what's up?
all: [overlapping yells]

[eyes spring open]

- Wait a second,

I thought you were babysitting
the Fox quintuplets.

Who are those guys?
- Those are the Fox quints.

Duh.
- Wait.

How did you get them to behave?

- It was a cinch.
First I showed them

that if they wanna get crazy,
I can get ten times crazier.

Next, I wore them out
with athletic competition.

And lastly, three words.

Horsey reward system.
[horse neighs]

- Wow, impressive.

Well, anyway,
I guess we should get going.

- Wait a minute.
What's going on?

Why'd you even come here
in the first place?

- Nothing, dude, we were just
in the neighborhood.

- We were. I thought we came
here because we felt bad

about trying to get Lynn
to quit babysitting.

- [laughs]
That's funny, Leni,

but jokes are my territory.
Come on, let's go.

- You wanted me
to quit babysitting?

Why?
You said your clients loved me.

- Well, they didn't.

You actually
terrified their kids.

But now I think I know why.

They just weren't the right
kind of kids for you.

These guys are.

None of us could handle them,
but clearly you're doing great.

- We're sorry for trying
to mess with you.

- Well, that's cool.
I guess it wasn't so great

that I tried to steal
your clients from you.

So, I'm sorry about that.
Apology punches!

- Dude.
all: Ow!

- Coach Lynn,
we're ready for bed.

- Well, duty calls.
I'm glad we're good.

I'll see you guys at home.

Who wants to hear about the
time I broke my tibia?

all: I do, I do.

[rock music]

- Off your butts, ladies.
You've all got

babysitting jobs tonight.
- What're you talking about?

- I got your old clients back.

It took a lot of
begging and pleading,

and the apology punches
didn't help,

but I was able
to convince them.

- Mighty dece' of you, sis.

- Well, see you later.
I'm sitting for the quints.

Now that Mr. and Mrs. Fox
have found someone

who can handle their kids,
they're going out, like,

every night.

[hard rock music]

[blows whistle]
all: [cheering]

- [grunts]
- Best babysitter ever.

- [laughs]

[spy music]

♪ ♪

[cars honking]

[computer beeps]

- Hey, Lincoln.
- Hey, Ronnie Anne.

Guess where I am.

- Well, the sign's
right behind you,

so I'm gonna say Flip's.

- Oh, right.
They're unveiling

the new Flippee flavor today.

Gotta make sure
I don't miss out.

- Awesome,
I have a big day too.

I'm going downtown
to check out street murals.

- City life
sounds pretty cool.

Clyde, over here.
Sorry, I gotta go.

- Okay, good luck
with the Flippees.

- Good luck with the murals.

both: Downtown?
- [gasps]

- You were listening
at my door?

- It's a good thing we were.

- We're in charge of you while
your mom's away this weekend.

A--and you can't go downtown
by yourself.

- It's no big deal.

I'm used to going
everywhere by myself.

- Sure, in Royal Woods.
But this is the city.

There's all kinds of danger
you don't know about.

- Especially downtown.
Even I won't go there

without lighting
five candles first.

- I'll be fine.
I have my Metro card.

I've got my route planned out.
If there's any problem,

I'll call you.
- But, mija...

- Bobby's the one you
should be worried about.

You know how he's always
getting stuck

in the dairy case.

- But at least
we know he's safe.

And has plenty to eat.

- Don't worry.
[lips smack]

I got this.

[jazz music]

both: [groaning]

[grunt, groan]

- What's the rush?
Is there a sale on VapoRub?

- They only move this fast if
they're following someone.

Who is it?
- Ronnie Anne.

She's going downtown.
[menacing music]

- [gasps]
- Downtown.

At her age?
- Is she crazy?

- We tried to talk her out of
it, but you know how she is.

Stubborn like an ox.

- Are you sure you're the ones
who should follow her?

You're kind of, um, uh...
- You're old.

- [squawks]
What a burn.

- Hey, why don't I go?
I'll make sure she's safe.

- No, no, all my grandbabies
are too precious.

- Actually,
it's not a bad idea.

Carlota knows downtown
better than any of us.

- And I will go with her.
[slurps]

Ah. She'll need a man
for protection.

- Okay, but you have to
hold your sister's hand.

- No way. How will the ladies
know I'm single?

- I'll tell them.
- [yelps]

[cell phone snaps]

- [munching]

- All right,
she seems okay so far.

- Okay?
She's surrounded by pigeons.

all: [gasp]
- And eating a pretzel.

She has no idea what city
critters will do for food.

- Hey, don't sweat it, fam.
I got this.

[trash rattles]

[tense music]

all: [sigh]

- It's a good thing
I lit my special candle

or Ronnie Anne
could have been bird food.

- [grunts] Hey, pigeons,
come get some lunch.

Ah!
[grunts]

[spooky music]

Uh-oh.

[screams]

♪ ♪

[spy music]

[cell phone snaps]
- [gasps]

Why is she standing in
the middle of the sidewalk?

She may as well wear a sign
that says "country bumpkin."

- Wait, do you hear that?
Carlota, look up.

[tense music]

all: [scream]

- She doesn't know about
city air conditioners.

- They fall on people
all the time.

- Vito Filiponio knows a guy
who read a story about a guy

who almost got hit by one.
The thr*at is real.

♪ ♪

- Hmm.
all: [sigh]

- It didn't fall because I was
rubbing my lucky wishbone.

Otherwise, she would've been
flattened like a tortilla.

[spy music]

- She's not watching
where she walks.

- Is your phone
really more important

than your life, mija?

[dramatic sting]
- [gasps]

Ay, madre mía, there's an
open cellar door up ahead.

[gasps, exhales]

- Ronnie Anne doesn't know
about city cellars.

- They're death traps.
- Not to worry.

I'll go close it.
[grunting]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, ah!

[gasps]

[tense music]

all: [sigh]
- [tongue sloshes]

- [grunts]
Is she still alive?

- Yes, but only because
I had my worry beads.

- [grunts]
Ha-ha!

[yelps]

[spits]

- Carl, quit horsing around
and go follow Ronnie Anne.

- Wait, look at
that bike messenger.

- She doesn't know
about city cyclists.

- Ah, they're pigeons
on wheels.

- He's headed right for her.

- I'll save her.

[tense music]
[bell rings]

- Hey, slow down.
[tires screech]

- Yikes.
[grunts]

[groans]
- Carl?

Carlota?
Are you guys following me?

- What--uh, no, no.
[stammers]

What a crazy coincidence
seeing you here.

- What's going on?
We can't see Ronnie Anne.

- So you've all been
spying on me?

- We were worried about you.

- I told you,
I can take care of myself.

You really need
to chill out and trust me.

I'll be home in
a couple of hours.

No one follow me.

- Of course.
- We promise.

- Carlota, follow her.

- What? No, I don't want her
to hate me.

- Relax, your boy Carl has
once again saved the day.

Dad, you know that tracking
chip you sowed into my jacket?

- Busted, Dad.
- Oh, er, huh.

You knew about that?

- Water under the bridge,
Pops.

I stuck it in
Ronnie Anne's backpack

so you can track her
on your phone.

[beeping]

- Hah! God job, son.

- Looks like I'm the brawn and
the brains of this operation.

- Sweetie, did you find
the booger wipes

I put in your jacket?
- [groans]

- [laughs]

[phone rings]

- Hey, Lincoln,
how's the new Flippee?

- I haven't gotten one yet.
The machine's down.

But Flip says he's
got it under control.

- Well, I hope you
get your Flippee.

- How's it going
with the murals?

- They're great,
but my family's nuts.

They sent Carlota and Carl
to spy on me.

- Been there.
- Anyway, I put a stop to that.

[beeping]

[spy music]

- She's stopped at George
Washington Boulevard

and th street.

- Got it.
- Okay, let's see.

Nearest emergency room
is at St. Anthony's.

There's also a fire station
a block away.

[cell phone snaps]

[backpack zips]

[chip beeping]

- [squeaking, sniffs]

[chomps]

[whirs, panting]

[beeping]

- Why is she moving so fast?
- Ah.

She could skate
right into traffic.

- Hold on, it looks like she's
on th street headed east.

- That street dead-ends
at the river.

[gasps]
And the jail.

- Ay, madre mía.

What if she has
a secret prison pen pal

and she's gonna visit him?

I better look in the cards.

I need to know more
about this creep.

- I... I can't take
all this uncertainty.

We have to call her.

- If we call her, she'll know
we're spying on her.

- That's better than her
falling into the river.

[phone ringing]

- Another phone call?
Seriously?

They are so paranoid.

Decline.
- She's not picking up.

- Maybe her phone's dead.
- Or some thugs stole it.

[cat yowls]
- Whatever it is,

she's in trouble.
We gotta go get her.

- Wait, we can't all go.
Someone has to stay here

and watch the baby.
- And Bobby.

- I'm on it.
- Thanks, CJ.

Call if you need us.

all: [groan]
- Oh, good, you're home.

Now come on,
we're going back out.

- Okay, let's see.
The dot says she's here.

- This doesn't look so bad.
- Oh, wait.

Actually, she's over here.

- [caws]
all: [gasp]

[door creaks]

[tense music]

- Ronnie Anne, are you here?
- Oh, look.

- [squeaking]

all: [scream]
- Everyone, stand behind me.

- [hisses]
- Mommy.

- [gasps] If the tracker is on
the rat, that means--

- The rat ate Ronnie Anne!

- Don't be ridiculous, Hector.

She was obviously
turned into a rat

by some kind of dark magic.

- Or here's a crazy idea.
Maybe the tracker just fell out

of her backpack,
got stuck to the rat,

and Ronnie Anne
is somewhere else.

- Seems like a stretch.
- [squeaking]

all: [squeaking]

- [whimpers] The rat that ate
Ronnie Anne has friends.

all: [scream]

[bell rings]
- Hey, CJ.

I was just upstairs.
Where is everyone?

- They all went out
to look for you.

- Went out to look for me?
- Yep, except me.

I'm watching Bobby.

[lounge music]

♪ ♪

[phone rings]

- Casagrande Mercado.
- Wait, is this Ronnie Anne?

You're home?
- Yeah.

And why are you guys out
looking for me?

I told you I'd be fine.

- Uh, Tío Carlos
will explain everything.

♪ ♪

- Uh-huh.
Abandoned building?

Rats? [sighs]
I'll be right there.

[rock music]

- The rats are
gonna devour us.

- She needs to come quick.
- Auxilio.

all: [gasps]
- Don't worry.

I got this.
- That's your plan?

A half-eaten pretzel?

- I don't know if you know
this, but city critters

will do anything for food.
- Actually, we did know that.

We didn't know you knew that.

- Didn't know?
Watch this.

all: [snort, growl]

- Wah!

[elevator bell rings]

all: [whimpering]

- Thank you, Ronnie Anne.
- That was amazing.

- I think we've learned
an important lesson today.

- Yes. Next time, Rosa and I

will do all
the spying ourselves.

- [exhales] No, Dad.

I mean, Ronnie Anne can
obviously take care of herself.

- Yeah, maybe even
better than we can.

- Thanks, guys,
I appreciate that.

And if you worry
this much about me,

maybe I can make things
easier for you.

- Oh, good.
So you'll wear the tracker?

- Uh, not quite.

But how about a phone check-in
every couple of hours?

- Agreed. But only if you'll
carry my lucky crystal too.

- Deal.
[elevator bell rings]

Uh, we better get out of here

before that
elevator door opens.

all: Ah!

[dramatic music]

- Well, I'm glad things worked
out with your family.

- Me too. So did you ever
get to try the new Flippee?

- No. Flip couldn't
fix the machine,

but he's giving out
free nachos,

as soon as he fixes
that machine.

- [anguished scream]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪