02x07 - Back in Black

[bunniefuu]

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

Poo-poo.

[spooky music]

♪

There you go, Mars,
right next to your buddy, Earth.

Oh, watch out for Jupiter.
He's full of gas.

- Hey, Lincoln.
- Ah!

Lucy! You got blood
all over my school project.

Relax, it's fake.

Sigh. Unfortunately.

Hmm. Needs more molasses.

That'll give it
just the right amount of ooze.

[doorbell ringing]

- Hey, Rusty.
- Hey, Lincoln.

My parents are both at work

so I had to bring my little bro.

No problem. Hey, Rocky.

Make yourself at home.
Thanks, man.

Did you bring Uranus?

Never leave home without it.

Gasp.

[sighs]

Uh...

What the...

Mm. Sigh.

I gotta pee.

Bathroom's upstairs and
down the hall to the left.

Sigh.

Hello?

Sigh.

[dog grumbles]

Sigh.

I know he's not really my type,

but he's so...
What's the word my sisters use?

"Cute."

Don't worry, Edwin,

you'll always be
my undead soul mate,

but until we're united,

it'd be cool to have
someone to hang with.

You think I should
just talk to him?

I knew you'd understand.

- I see you found my blood.
- [screams]

It's my new recipe...

Beet juice, molasses,
and cocoa powder.

Hmm, now it's got the ooze
but not the splatter.

Hi, I'm Lucy.

Thought you might want
a clean shirt.

Just to be clear,
it's my brother's.

I would never wear something
so offensively cheerful.

Ah! [Crash]

Was that Rocky? Sorry, Lincoln,

you'll have to finish
the project.

What happened?

I keep trying to talk to Rocky,

but every time
he runs away from me.

What am I doing wrong?

Well, what are you
talking to him about?

The usual stuff. Blood, bruises.

I didn't even get a chance

to show him
my new embalming kit.

You know, maybe he's just not
into that kind of stuff.

Then what is he into?

I don't know him very well,

but he just seems
like a regular, normal kid.

Regular and normal. Hmm.

Regular and normal.

[door slams shut] - Lola!

Did you take
my Red Riot lipstick again?

No, but someone took my perfume.

I bet it was Leni!

Was not, but I'd like to know

who took
my pink chiffon dress, Lori!

- Where do you get off?
- You are literally the one

always stretching my sweaters
out every time you borrow them!

- Fess up.
- That's my scent,

I can't let people
associate it with you!

- We can do this the hard way...
- Hang on,

I smell my perfume. [Sniffs]

Lynn! You better not be using

my perfume to cover
the stink of your hockey pads!

[all gasp]

What are you doing?

I-I-I-I thought if I could be
more "regular and normal,"

Rusty's brother Rocky
would like me.

Sorry I took your stuff.
I understand if you're mad.

You're darn right we're mad!

Mad you didn't let us help!

Yeah! We've been wanting

to give you a makeover
since, like, birth.

I've been working
on this Lucy vision board

for years!

Until now, it was
just a fantasy.

Guys, it's literally happening!

Lucy's finally ready!

Will this hurt?

[all talking at once]

Oh. All: Too peppy.

[all talking at once]

Too poofy.

[all talking at once]

Too "princess-y."

[all talking at once]

Too...

[new wave music]

Perfect!

Hmm. I can live with this.

What do you think, Fangs?

Ew! Ew! No more bats.

Yeah, and do not talk
about mortality.

Or death.

Or ask him his blood type.

Or suggest a cemetery
for a date.

And make sure you laugh
at all of his jokes.

Like this.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha. Ha. Ha ha.

Oh, and talk about sports.
Guys really dig that.

If all else fails,

try a little
of my patented pizza spray,

scientifically proven to attract
eight-year-old boys.

[all coughing]

Gag.

Note to self...
Go lighter on the anchovies.

[cat screeches]
- Ah.

[cat screeching]
- Ah!

Ah!

Who was that?

The new and improved,
regular and normal Lucy.

AKA, the future Mrs. Rocky.

So that's how
you're helping Lucy?

I don't know, guys,
that seems like a really...

Oh, please, as if a male
would have

any insight into matters
of the heart.

You just get Rocky
back here, bro.

How am I supposed to do that?

Get Rusty to bring him.

Don't you guys have more work
to do on your project?

Nope, all finished.

Not anymore.

So, the dog did this?

Uh, yup. Bad Charles.

[dog whimpers]

[new wave music]

♪

OMG, Rocky.
It's totes great to see you.

Um, who are you?

I'm Lucy.

Oh, uh, I didn't recognize you.

You can't make it to mini-golf?

But we already bought
four tickets.

Oh. Uh, right.
Um, maybe we should...

invite two other people to come.

[gasps] What a great idea.

Anyone? Lucy?

I'm supposed to meet
my girlfriends at the mall,

but... YOLO.

Oh. If only there was
another guy

to round out the foursome.

You're free, right, Rocky?
Great!

♪

Any of you other ladies
looking for a date?

♪

Just follow my lead,
and remember,

regular and normal.

Oops. [Giggles]

Boo Boo Bear,
what am I doing wrong?

Can you help me?

But, babe,
you're on the varsity golf...

Ow! I mean, sure, babe,

I'll help you.
Okay, just square your shoulders

and follow through.

- Oops.
- Ow!

What was that for?

I thought, uh, um, uh,

how about that baseball team

that played the other night?

Ooh. [Chuckles]
Great sh*t, Boo Boo Bear.

[laughs]

That one's for you, babe.

Aw! [Giggles]

Ooh. Great sh*t, Rocky Bear.

What? I totally shanked it.

My ball went down a rain gutter.

Ha ha. Ha ha. You're so funny.

Ah!

Good sh*t, bro.

Ooh, this hole is creepy.

Right, Lucy?

Whoa, the Freilich
with crushed velvet interior.

I've only seen these
in catalogues.

Lucy, no, no, no.

[whispering] Regular and normal.

Ahh!

[strumming guitar]

[door opening]

[all talking at once]

Tell me everything!
Tell me everything!

Are you totes in love?

No, we are totes not.

Lucy, wait.

We're sorry we pushed you
so hard.

All: Sorry.

We got a little too excited
when you said

you wanted to be normal
and regular, like us.

But you're not those things.
You're Lucy Loud.

You're perfect
just the way you are,

and we love you.

Sigh.
There's no need to apologize.

I know you were
just trying to help,

and I thank you.
Now if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to go sit in the dark.

That always cheers me up.

Well, lesson learned.

You can take the girl
out the coffin,

but you can't take the coffin
out of the girl.

Well, Edwin.
Rocky doesn't like me as myself.

He doesn't like me
as a regular, normal girl.

He just doesn't like me. Sigh.

I was a fool to think it could
ever work with a mortal being.

Poor kid.

Fangs, bedtime.

Ah!

Dang it.

There we go.
Now, as long as we keep it

far away from your house,
we should be done.

Ah! Rocky! You're bleeding!

[screams]

Don't worry, man.
Rusty faints all the time.

Yeah, but are you all right?

Oh, yeah, this is fake blood.

Why would you have fake blood?

I saw Lucy making it
at your house

and it seemed kinda cool,
so I thought I'd give it a try.

Anyway...

Oops.

Wha... what happened?

Uh, you fainted and
broke our solar system.

Aw, man!

That's okay.
We can fix it at my house.

I have an extra Jupiter.

Your house?

Well, our project isn't
any safer here.

I guess you're right.

Come on, Rock, let's roll!

Done.
Form a protective perimeter.

Hey, Rocky, grab us some sodas
from the kitchen, will ya?

Ah. Oh. Hi.

Uh, hi.
You changed your hair back.

Yeah, the blonde
wasn't really me.

I was trying to be
regular and normal,

but I think I'm just
gonna be myself.

I'm really glad to hear that.

Thanks. Well, see you later.

Wait, you are?

But when we first met,
you kept running away.

I thought I freaked you out.

To be honest, I thought
you were too cool for me,

and I couldn't think
of anything to say,

so I just ran.

Hey, uh, my coffin collection's

in the basement.
Wanna check it out?

Sure. That'd be really fun.

As long as I don't
have to get in one.

Deal.

Can we stop? I'm feeling faint.

Easy.

Ah! Watch the pothole!

It's okay, Rusty.
We spent all weekend on this,

we're not gonna drop it now.

Both: Hey, guys. Both: Ah!

Phew! Good save, man.

Sorry we scared you.

We just wanted to tell you
we nailed the fake blood recipe.

We also threw in
a few popcorn kernels

for brain matter.

Ah!

Dang it.

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ Loud house

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house