03x30 - Lou-Ann Poovie Sings No More

[bunniefuu]

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

Come in.

Hey, Sergeant, Corporal Boyle.

What are you
grinning about, Pyle?

Am I grinning?

I didn't know I was grinning.

Ain't you glad I told you?

Now the rest of you
can get in on the fun.

I suppose you want
your pass, huh, Pyle?

If you please.

Would you like to know where
I'm going tonight, Sergeant?

No.

To the Congo Club
to see Miss Lou-Ann,

and after she's through working,

I'm gonna take
her out for a pizza.

Wonderful.

Here you go, Pyle.

Thank you, Corporal.

She sure is a nice girl,
Miss Lou-Ann, and pretty.

She seems to get
prettier all the time.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, you got your
pass, Pyle, so b*at it.

She still likes you a
lot, Sergeant, you know.

Well, I'll see you.

Uh, wait a second.

What does that mean,
she still likes me?

Well, she does.

She talks about you a lot.

Well, I'll see you, Sergeant.

Uh, hold it, Pyle.

Just exactly what
does she say, Pyle?

What does she say?

Well, nothing but nice things.

What nice things?

What? What?

Well, she says you're
a very forceful person.

Yeah? Yeah?

She says you have
a lot of authority.

I do, huh?

How? Did she say how?

Well...

like that night we
was all out together,

and she let you kiss her
good night on the cheek.

Yeah?

Well, she said you kissed
her with a lot of authority.

She said that, huh?

Uh-huh.

Well, I'll see you in
the morning, Sergeant.

Night, Corporal Boyle.

Did you hear what I heard?

Did you hear?

What?

That girl's trying to get a
message through to me.

A message?

It means I'm still in
the running, Boyle.

It means she looks on me

as the one who could
be the man in her life

because I am "a
very forceful person."

I thought she looked on
you as some kind of a daddy.

That's correct.

Well, where are you going?

The Congo Club.

I'm going to see what
Daddy can do for his little girl.

♪ Why haven't you seen it? ♪

♪ I'm all for you,
body and soul ♪

♪ I spend my days in longing ♪

Hey, Duke.

Oh, hi, Gomer.

Why didn't you tell me you
was coming here tonight?

We could have come together.

Well, I... really
didn't plan on coming

to the Congo Club tonight. I...

I really planned to come
to town to play some pool,

but the, uh, the pool hall
was closed for repairs,

so I figured, well, as long
as I happened to be in town,

I might as well drop by
for... for a couple of beers.

Well, good, I'll join you

to keep you from
getting lonesome.

Great.

It's a good thing we came in.

There are not too many
people around tonight.

Yeah, you'd think a
good-looking chick

like Lou-Ann would pack 'em in.

Well, yeah, she's
pretty all right, but...

But what?

Well, I hate to
say this about her

since I'm so fond
of her... What?

What? Well, let's face it, Duke.

She just hasn't got
that good a voice.

Her voice? What's her
voice got to do with anything?

Good voices are a dime a dozen.

Who's got her looks,
her personality?

Well, maybe I'm old-fashioned,

but I think a singer
should have a good voice.

♪ I'd gladly surrender ♪

♪ Myself to you ♪

♪ Body and soul ♪

Bring me a beer.
♪ I can't believe it ♪

♪ It's hard to conceive it ♪

♪ That you'd turn away romance ♪

Hey, Sergeant, I didn't know
you was coming here tonight.

Well, I didn't expect to.

I came into town
to go to the library.

Library? Today's Sunday;
the library is closed.

Yeah, I found that out.

You know what I
thought today was?

Saturday.

And I always go to
the library on Saturday.

Looks like both of
you are out of luck.

Duke came in to play
pool, and the place is closed.

Is that a fact?

It's a good thing the Congo Club

is open, else you fellers would
have come into town for nothing.

♪ Surrender ♪

♪ Myself to you ♪

♪ Body and ♪

♪ Soul... ♪

Terrific, baby, terrific.

Here you go.

You were great,
Lou-Ann, just great.

Hey, Lou-Ann.

You sure look pretty tonight.

Thank you, Gomer.

Thank you, boys.

I'm grateful you
came down tonight.

Looks like you're about
the only ones who did.

Well, that's showbiz, honey.

You got to expect an
off night once in a while.

It's been quite some time
since I've had an "on" night.

Actually, I don't
mind telling you that...

well, actually, I'm just
a little bit depressed.

Why, honey?

You're beautiful,
you're talented.

You got everything.

Everything except maybe a job.

Huh?

Mr. Walker, the owner,

he said that unless
business picks up,

he's gonna have to let me go.

He's got to be out of his mind.

Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Do you know what
Mr. Walker said to me?

He said since I've
been singing here,

there are less people in this
Congo than in the one in Africa.

Why, that creep.

I just don't know what I'm
going to do if I lose my job.

I'll have to go back to
Turtle Creek... a failure,

and after the way I told
all those people back home

how I was going to be a star
and just set the world on fire.

Well, Lou-Ann, you don't
have to go back to Turtle Creek

if you don't want to.

There are lots of good
jobs you could get right here.

Sure there are, good ones.

Yeah, you ought to get
out of this dump anyway.

You should be
singing in a class spot

where you're appreciated.

Who says she has
to stay in a nightclub?

She should be moving
on to better things.

Look, baby, when you get in

with the real pros,

you'll know which way
your career is going.

Well, I certainly wish that I
could meet the right people.

I'd just be forever beholden
to anyone who could help me.

You would?

But, Sarge, what
connections do you have?

What can you do to help
someone like Lou-Ann?

Lots of things.

It's just a matter of
having the right contacts.

But Sarge, she's
a rotten singer...

Not just bad, she's rotten.

Will you knock it off, Boyle?

Now, all I know is
this is my chance

to move in strong with her,

and I better move fast

before that stupid
Slater beats me to it.

Who? Who? Who do I
know in show business?

You know the ticket-seller
at the Tivioli Movie House.

Funny, funny.

Why don't you try to help me
instead of making wisecracks?

Now think of somebody,
think of somebody.

Hey.

You remember that movie
company that came down

from Hollywood last year
to make the training film?

Well, Dan Curtis, the producer,

and me got to be
real buddy-buddy.

I did him lots of
favors, lots of favors.

You mean you're going to try

to get Lou-Ann into the movies?

Well, I didn't say that.

But the guy must have
lots of connections.

Maybe he can get her
with a recording company.

They got dozens of
them in Hollywood.

Sarge, do you honestly believe
they'd ever let Lou-Ann make

a record after they
heard her voice?

Her voice, her voice.

You don't have to have a voice
to make a record these days.

They got amplifiers,
echo chambers, gimmicks.

They can take any singer
today, and make her a star.

Except Lou-Ann Poovie.

You'll see.

I'm going to make her a star.

I'm going to give
her voice to the world.

You don't think the world
has enough troubles?

I can't believe it.

I just can't believe it.

Look, honey, when Duke Slater
makes a promise, he keeps it.

Oh, Duke, you are just
the most wonderful friend

a girl ever had.

I'm so excited, I could...

Why, there's Sergeant Carter.

Just wait till he
hears about it.

Sergeant Carter.

Hi, Lou-Ann.

What are you doing here?

He's just gotten me
the most wonderful job.

That's what he's doing here.

Oh?

I'm going to be on the radio.

Duke's gotten me on the Don
Sherwood disc jockey program.

Mr. Sherwood is
gonna interview me

and maybe let me sing a song.

Yeah?

How did you manage that?

Well, uh, Don and
I are kind of close.

I'm-I'm always sending
in requests for numbers.

In fact, I happen to be
his biggest requester,

so, well, naturally
he owes me a favor.

A local disc jockey show, huh?

You know what your
problem is, Slater?

You think small.

That's why you're a
private, and I'm a sergeant.

Now, we on the executive
staff, we think big.

Big, big.

And speaking of big, Lou-Ann,
I have just set for you a deal

that is going to send
you soaring to the heights.

A deal?

What is it?

Are you ready?

You are going to make a record

for the Delta Record
Company in Hollywood.

The Delta Record
Company in Hollywood?

I don't believe it.

Well, I just made the
deal this afternoon.

She's got a date to meet Mr. Big

tomorrow afternoon at 2:00.

Oh, you mean they're
going to cut a record

without hearing me first?

Well, first you have

to go through the
formality of an audition,

but no problems, no problems.

Sergeant Carter,

you're just the most
wonderful friend a girl ever had.

Well, I believe in you,
baby, I believe in you.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, Gomer, I'm
so glad you're here.

You'll never guess what.

Well, before you say anything,

I got to tell you something.

I just can't hold it in.

Well, what is it?

You can stop your fretting.

You don't have to go
back to Turtle Creek

'cause I got you
a job right here.

Oh, my, a job.

What's the matter, Lou-Ann?

Oh, this is just all too much.

I'm just crying for joy is all.

Oh, Gomer,

you're just the most wonderful
friend a girl could have.

Wait a minute, Pyle.

What is this job?

Yes. Is it singing in
one of the better clubs?

No, it ain't nightclubs.

Well, is it in television?
Television maybe?

No, it ain't television,

but it does have
something to do with music.

Well, what is it?

Well, Lou-Ann, you know
Engelhardt's record shop

down at the corner
of Fifth and Main?

Uh-huh.

Well, talk about luck.

I happened to be
walking past there,

and I looked in the window

and I saw this sign
"Salesgirl Wanted."

Well, quick as a lick,

I went in there to
see Mr. Engelhardt

before somebody b*at me to it.

Well, I was telling
him all about you...

Salesgirl?

You got me a job as a salesgirl?

Uh-huh, and Mr. Engelhardt
wants to see you first...

A salesgirl?

You have the gall
to get a job like that

for someone with
Lou-Ann's talent?

Well, why? What's wrong?

What's wrong?

Why, Duke is getting me
on a disc jockey program,

and Sergeant Carter
is getting me a chance

to make a recording with a big
record company in Hollywood.

They are?

And as for you, it appears
that you are implying

that I should give up singing,

which just so happens to
be my chosen profession.

Well, I want you to know

that I resent that implication.

Well, Lou-Ann... Boy,
talk about goofing.

Beautiful, Pyle, beautiful.

If you can commit sabotage
like that against the enemy,

you're sure to win a medal.

But I didn't mean
to insult her, honest.

You broke her heart,
that's what you did.

Boy, you'll be lucky if she
ever talks to you again, Gomer.

That's right.

The lovesick puppy has
just become a dead duck.

♪ That old black magic
has me in its spell ♪

♪ That old black magic ♪

♪ That you weave so well ♪

♪ Those icy fingers
up and down... ♪

No, no, no, no, no.

Hold it, honey.

Now, the voice is fine,
there are no complaints,

but I think you ought to
give it some movement,

some gestures, you know.

But, Sergeant Carter,
this is a recording.

Nobody's gonna see me.

The big sh*t at Delta
is gonna see you.

And you gotta make
a big impression.

Now, come on,
start singing again.

I'll show you what I mean.

♪ That old black magic
has me in its spell ♪

♪ That old black magic
that you weave so well ♪

♪ Those icy fingers up
and down my spine. ♪

That's it, honey, nice and easy.

Does it feel better
to you, honey?

Mm-hmm.

It feels better to me, too.

Sergeant Carter?

Vince.

Vince.

Do you think those record people

are really gonna like me?

Like you?

I wouldn't be surprised

if they signed you to
a long-term contract.

Long-term?

Oh!

Well, sure.

They're smart cookies.

They not gonna take a chance

on you having a smash album

and not having
you under contract.

Oh, Vince, you are so wonderful!

Yeah, well, uh,

you gotta admit, I'm
thinking every minute.

Like canceling that Don
Sherwood disc jockey show.

Cancelled it?

Did you cancel it?

Well, relax, honey.

I haven't done badly
so far, have I, huh?

Now, you don't want
to worry about that.

After you're a
big recording star,

I'll get you all the disc
jockey shows you want,

in Hollywood, the big time!

I hadn't thought about that.

Well, just trust me, honey.

I'm thinking all the time.

I want this audition
to be real great.

Vince, what am I gonna wear?

Oh, I know!

How about my red dress?

Red dress.

You know, Lou-Ann,

there's just one thing
about all this that...

worries me.

Well, what's that?

Well... once you
get to be a big star,

and you're surrounded
by all them fancy,

glamorous show
business people...

you'll forget all about
little ol' Vince Carter,

tired Marine.

Vince, I could never
forget about you.

Not after the wonderful
things you've done.

You really mean that?

Vince! What?!

Those recording people,
after they hear you,

do they let you know
right away what they think?

Oh, believe me, as
soon as you finish,

you'll know what the score is.

They don't have to
tell you, you'll know.

Oh.

Oh, my goodness,
look at the time!

Uh, Vince, I better get dressed

if we're gonna be in
Hollywood by 2:00.

I'll be back to get you
in about 45 minutes.

Perfect.

I'll be ready.

Until then, au revoir.

Did you forget... Oh, it's you.

I heard Sergeant Carter,

so I waited till he left

'cause what I got
to say is private.

Really?

Please let me come in, Lou-Ann,

just for a minute.

Well, if you insist.

Well, you're looking
pretty as ever, Lou-Ann.

Pretty enough to be a salesgirl?

Well, now, that's what I
came to talk to you about.

You run off last night before
I had a chance to explain.

There aren't any
explanations necessary.

You made yourself
perfectly clear.

Well, all I was doing
was trying to help.

You said how you didn't want

to go back to Turtle Creek,

and I thought if I
got you a job here,

then you wouldn't have to.

That's very sweet
of you, I'm sure.

And just so it won't be a waste,

perhaps you can
find some other girl

to give that job to.

Well, I'm sorry you
feel that way, Lou-Ann,

'cause, well...

you're the only girl I
care anything about.

And that's the reason

I didn't want to see you hurt.

Hurt?

Lou-Ann, please don't
go on that audition

for that there record company.

And why not?

You just shouldn't
rush into things.

You're... well...

well, you're just not
ready for recordings,

and going on disc jockey shows.

Well, Sergeant Carter...
Vince... thinks I'm ready,

and Duke thinks I'm ready.

Do you know more than they do?

No, but, golly...

I've just got to be
honest with you, Lou-Ann.

Your voice could
stand some improving.

Oh. Oh.

For now! For now!

Maybe someday though.

Lou-Ann, I'm
only telling you this

for your own good.

Not only do you insult me

by offering me a
job as a salesgirl,

but now you have the audacity

to tell me that
I'm a bad singer.

Lou-Ann... You are a
cruel man, Gomer Pyle,

a cruel man.

Why you're even more cruel

than the owner
of the Congo Club.

Well, I didn't mean to be cruel.

Why I wouldn't hurt you

for anything in the world.

I think that our conversation
has come to a close.

And since you obviously

don't appreciate my talents,

I suggest that
you just don't come

to the Congo Club anymore.

You can spend your
evenings at the movies

enjoying one of your
monster pictures.

Good-bye, Private Pyle.

Lou-Ann... Please go.

It'll be any minute,
now, any minute.

Oh, I hope so.

Because I don't mind
telling you, Vince,

I'm a little bit nervous.

Well, that's perfectly
natural, honey.

All the big ones get nervous

right before they perform.

Even Alice Faye
gets the jitters.

She does?

Sure.

But you got nothing
to worry about.

Vince is by your side.

I know.

That does make me
feel a little bit better.

Uh-oh, that's him.

It's Mr. Linke.

He's Mr. Big.

We're ready, Miss Poovie,
Any time you want to start.

Okay, you're on.

Relax. You're gonna be a smash.

And remember, move around.

♪ That old black magic
has me in its spell ♪

♪ That old black magic ♪

♪ That you weave so well ♪

♪ Those icy fingers up
and down my spine ♪

♪ That same old witchcraft
when your eyes meet mine ♪

♪ Under that old black magic ♪

♪ Called love! ♪

Great, baby, great!

You were just great!

Was I really all right?

Are you kidding?
Wait till you hear it!

Uh, will you play that back
for Miss Poovie, please?

Aw, just till you
hear yourself, honey.

I'll bet you never even
heard your own voice

before, have you? Why, no.

This is my very first recording.

Well, you really got a
treat in store for you.

Keep listening,
honey. This is it.

He wants to talk a deal.
♪ That old black magic ♪

♪ Has me in its spell ♪

♪ That old black magic
that you weave so well ♪

♪ Those icy fingers up
and down my spine ♪

♪ That same old witchcraft
when your eyes meet mine ♪

♪ The same old tingle
that I feel inside ♪

♪ And then the elevator ♪

Lou-Ann?

♪ Starts its ride,
and darling, down ♪

Lou-Ann?

♪ And down I go,
round and round... ♪

Lou-Ann?

Can I have some?

Oh, sure.

How did you know I was here?

I checked all the
movies, and I found out

which one was playing
the monster picture.

Oh. Well, I'm glad you came,

'cause this here is a good one.

Gomer? Mm-hmm?

That record shop you went to...

what was the name of that man?

Pardon me, Miss,

do you have the
latest Kay Starr album?

Why, yes, sir.

Gomer!

How's the job going, Lou-Ann?

Oh, just fine.

I think I'm really
gonna like it here.

Oh, well, I am sure
glad to her that.

You know, it's sorta nice

to still be associated
with the music business.

Well, that's what I figured.

That's the reason... Pardon me.

Can you help me?

Why, yes, sir. What is it?

One of the songs in this
album is "Red, Red Robin,"

and I was wondering if that's
the one I knew years ago.

Do you know how it goes?

"Red, Red Robin."

Why, yes, sir.

♪ When... ♪

You'll have to excuse me, sir.

I'm afraid I have a
little case of laryngitis.