05x06 - Chef's Special/Beginning Anew/Kleinschmidt

[bunniefuu]

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love
boat"]

Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's
sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

[Music playing]

Hi.

I'm Edie Franklin.

I'm Julie McCoy,
your cruise director.

And this is burl Smith,
our assistant purser.

Ms. Franklin, I know you.

You're our new chef.

Ah.

Assistant chef.

No one could ever
replace your Claude.

Oh, well he's marvelous.

Yeah.

Does he know why I'm here?

No, not exactly.

You see, he's pretty excitable.

And we didn't know the
best way to tell him.

(Laughing) You were
afraid he'd k*ll me.

Hmm, well, he can't be that bad.

I'll tell him.

Julie, my love.

Claude has returned.

I had a miserable lunch ashore.

Oh, Claude, look.

This is Ms. Franklin.

She's one of your admirers.

[Inaudible].

And how fortunate I
am that an admirer

should also be so appealing.

Why, thank you.

It's so nice to
meet you at last.

I consider you the most gifted
chef since prosper montaigne.

Chef Claude: Do you?

Come, let me take you on a tour
of my kitchen, a unique honor.

It is my personal province where
no stranger is ever permitted.

Shall we?

Go tell him.

I think he likes you.

Well, I kind of like him, too.

But when he finds out why i'm
here, he probably will k*ll me.

[Music playing]

Look, Isaac.

That man looks just
like Dr. Bricker.

Hi.

I'm Vicki stubing.

And this is my--

is that stubeek or stubing?

Stubing.

Stubing.

So tell me, fraulein,
when was the last time

you were arrested?

Arrested?

I'm gertrude Turner.

And this is Mr.--

but my name is Jones, a
common name, very simple.

You forget it the minute
you hear it, right?

Right [inaudible].

Sure.

And you also forget
that in the case

Ms. Turner carries
is the priceless star

of zambique diamond.

You understand?

Priceless diamond.
Sure.

Absolutely.

Good.

[Speaking German]

[Music playing]

Jenny?

Oh, my dear old friend.

Jennifer Langley.

How are you

you get younger and more
beautiful every time I see you.

What's your secret?

Vitamin e, hard
work, and hope.

Oh.

[Laughter]

Stan.

Stan Ellis, it can't be.

Jenny.

It is you.

Oh, Stan, after all these years.

Oh.

Forgive me for not getting up.

I'm surprised you
recognized me like this.

Merrill, i'd
like you to meet--

well, he used to be
lieutenant Stan Ellis.

Stan, this is merrill stubing.

Lieutenant Ellis.

Mr. Ellis for many years now.

How do you do, captain?

Well, I'm afraid I won't be able
to do much socializing, Jenny.

I-- I have a lot of
reading to catch up on.

Excuse me, captain.

Brr, captain.

Did we just hit an iceberg?

Did get a bit chilly there.

You know, he used to be one
of the warmest, loving men.

I wonder what happened.

[Horn blowing]

[Music playing]

Right here.

No, no.

There, there, there.

What is wrong with you people?

With these things
pointed that way.

Absolutely.
That's it.

No, more, more
[Inaudible] anymore.

That's it.

Oh, isn't it lovely?

I just know we're
going to have the most

wonderful time together, Kurt.

No, no.

Mr. Jones.

How can I be a good detective
and guard your valuables

if my identity is known?

I remember, Mr. Jones.

Hmm?

What?

Oh, [non-English] I'll
get us some schnapps.

Ok.

Hi, Ms. Turner.

Vicki told me about
your valuables.

And I can arrange a safe
deposit box if you'd like.

Oh no.

That won't be necessary.

The gentleman who was
just here, Mr. Jones,

I've hired him to guard them.

Oh, I see.

It's working out splendidly.

I mean, he's a very
good detective.

You are?

Isaac.

Isaac--

Washington.

Washington?

Washington.

You were named
after a monument.

You see, I have both sharp
eyes and a trained mind.

That scratch on your hand.

From its shape, it could be made
only by the recoil of a Ripley

[inaudible] Elephant g*n.

You've recently been
on safari in Africa.

Actually I got
this scratch opening

up this can of mixed nuts.

How do you think up
such far-fetched stories?

What you are, Isaac Washington,
is an ivory smuggler.

I could turn you in.

You've been sh**ting elephants.

Elephants?

I don't even sh**t pool.

I met Kurt while I was
traveling to Germany.

He was an insurance
investigator.

His head is kind
of in the clouds,

but he's really very sweet.

I'd almost rather lose
the diamond than lose him.

There's something so--

hello.

I'm Julie McCoy.

Of course.

And I suppose you have the
funny papers to prove it.

[Inaudible]

Stay away from the bartender.

Hired assassin.

Oh, Julie.

Oh, Julie, it's been wonderful.

Claude showed me
all over the ship.

I had no idea he was so young,
so young and attractive.

Have you told him
why you're here?

Not yet.

I didn't want to spoil anything.

Well, the way you
two are getting along,

I'm sure he'll go for the idea.

Yeah.

[Sigh]

It's-- it's magnificent.

Understated, but approximate.

Um, Claude, there's
something I have to tell you.

Oh?

Your career has-- has
been an inspiration to me.

So I hope you'll understand
what I have to say.

Wait.

What you've got to
say, wouldn't it

be better said this
evening under the stars

when maybe I've got
some things to say too?

You know, never before
has a passenger ever--

i'm-- I'm not a passenger.

I'm a chef.

[Music playing]

I've been hired to
work in your kitchen

preparing nouvelle cuisine.

Nouvelle cuisine?

Well, the company wants to
see if any passengers would

like it.
- Nouvelle cuisine?

Well, nouvelle
cuisine recipes are--

[interposing voices]

I know what they are.

And they are terrible.

You are nothing but a
saboteur, an assassin.

Oh, Claude, please!

You-- I've been
betrayed by the world!

I guess he didn't
go for the idea, huh?

Now I'm beginning
to understand.

You're not Stan Ellis at all.

You are an imposter.

Hmm?

I beg your pardon.

Well, the Stan Ellis
I used to know very well

wouldn't have had his nose
buried in a book like that

with all these luscious young
beauties bouncing around.

Come on.

Confess.

What'd you do with him?

Well, I was hoping
we might reminisce.

But if you'd rather just tell
me to jump into the pacific,

I won't bother you for
the rest of the cruise.

I see the years
haven't made you any less

forthright, have they, Jenny?

I hope not.

Tell me, what ever
happened to that girl

you went back to america
to see and then married?

[Quiet music]

I lost Ellen a
little over a year ago.

Oh, I'm sorry.

When she died, everything
else died with her,

including what was left of me.

Please don't say that.

It's the way I feel.

The automobile
crash that took her

left me like this,
good for very little.

You were right when you
said I was an imposter.

I am.

I may have Stan Ellis's
name and face and maybe

a few of his memories.

But the man you
knew is gone, Jenny.

Don't try to bring him back.

You're only wasting your time.

This is the captain.

Tell the engineer that
the starboard engine is

missing on a cylinder or two.

El capitan.

Yes?

Might I have a word with you?

Captain merrill stubing: This
is highly irregular, sir.

But what do you want?

I know.

I know you are a
busy man, standing

here watching the wheel.

But--

well actually, the ship
doesn't have a wheel.

Somebody took the wheel?

Today they steal anything.

When did you first
notice it was gone?

About years ago
when the ship was built.

years?

You should report
these things sooner.

I'll see what I can do.

No, no.

You don't understand.

The ship never had a wheel.

We operate with
maneuvering levers.

Then it wasn't taken?

There was no crime?

I wish they were all that easy.

El capitan.

Yes.

Since I may need
your help later,

I want you to know
my true identity,

but strictly confidential.

Absolutely no one else is
to know that detective Kurt

kleinschmidt is
secretly aboard to keep

Ms. Gertrude Turner's
million-dollar diamond

from being stolen.

Don't say a word.

I won't have to.

You just told everybody.

You turned on the
public address system.

[Inaudible] You may
forget what I just said.

[Inaudible]

Mr. Kleinschmidt.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, but passengers
are not allowed on the bridge.

Good idea.

I'll help all I can
to keep them away.

[Buzzing]

Yes?

Oh, the engine that's missing.

What about it?

Somebody stole your engine?

No wonder you
don't need a wheel.

It's not stolen.

Oh, good.

Well, [speaking German].

Now, tell me about it.

But if anything
else is stolen,

please don't wait
years to tell me.

I can't perform miracles.

[Music playing]

[Piano music]

Something long and
cool, please, Isaac.

Certainly.

Coming right up.

[Clapping]

Won't you please
play some more?

Yes I will if Mr.
Ellis will sing.

He had the best voice
since nightingale

sang in Berkeley square.

[Piano music]

Well maybe he needs a
little encouragement.

Everybody.

[Clapping and piano music]

If you like, I'll bring
your drink to the piano.

[Music playing]

Stan.

Just what exactly did
you think you were doing?

Oh, I am sorry.

I didn't mean to embarrass you.

I'm not aboard to be a part
of anyone's entertainment.

Didn't I make that clear?

I was just hoping to persuade
you to join the living.

All the hoping in the world
can't manage that, Jenny.

I'm grateful for
your good feelings.

But just leave me alone.

That is a very easy
request to fulfill.

But there's one thing
you ought to know.

You have turned into
the most miserable--

that's right.

Now you are finally
beginning to understand.

Oh, I do.

You've made it
emphatically clear.

[Music playing]

Well, this is my kitchen.

And I and only I
decide who works here.

So I say to you, out!

Out!

I'm really reaching
the end of my Patience.

Claude, I got your message.

What's the problem?

Captain, we have an
impossible situation here.

The company has no right
to impose an amateur on me

to experiment in my kitchen.

Have her removed immediately.

My friend, I think
we should talk.

There's nothing to discuss.

This is an insult
to my reputation.

Passengers choose this ship
because they know I prepare

the finest dishes in the world.

And they're entitled
to just that,

not some sorry substitute.

As you say, you
have a reputation.

You are very gifted.

You're the youngest
chef ever to win

the virtuoso De cuisine award.

Twice.

You have nothing
to worry about.

Now, look.

Continue to prepare your
food as you always have.

We'll put a note
on the menu stating

specifically which are yours.

And we'll let the
passengers decide.

You're not afraid of a
little competition, are you?

Of course not.

Afraid of what?

[Music playing]

Edie, is this enough
space for you to work?

That'll be fine.

Thank you.

Nouvelle cuisine here.

Cuisine De Claude there.

And don't prepare too much.

You'll be the only
one eating it.

This has been such fun.

And tomorrow we
dock in Mazatlan.

Yeah, gertrude, when
we get to Mazatlan,

I think it would be better if
I go directly home from there.

But why Kurt?

Because i'm
beginning to realize

I'm not really a
very good detective.

Those stupid accidents, like
on the bridge for the speaker.

Now everyone knows who I am.

Well, it doesn't matter.

But also I am
beginning to know

who I am, just a small time
insurance investigator.

That's all I'm good
for, finding out who

and which smacked into what.

Please stay, Kurt, to the
end of the cruise at least.

I'm worried about my diamond.

Somebody might take it.

But you know and
so do I there is

a safe place for your diamond.

So the fact is,
I'm useless to you.

Good enough, gertrude.

In the morning, I must say
good morning and goodbye.

[Music playing]

I give them [inaudible].

You give them this.

What's next, chili tamales?

Oh Claude, please.

It's not so bad.

Here, taste my sauce soubise.

You call this sauce?

I can't believe people
are actually eating this.

They must be using it to paste
pictures in their photo albums.

Claude!

Which pot has the antidote?

- That's not fair.
- Fair?

You talk to me about fair when
you're destroying the stomachs

of innocent people?

My food is good!

You see all the
orders, don't you?

It's just the novelty.

It will wear off.

Oh!

But word will
get around quickly.

Second sitting tonight,
you'll not get one order.

Not one single order.

You'll see.

Oh!

[Music playing]

Jenny.

Oh.

Did you find out
what changed Mr. Ellis?

Well, his wife died in
the same accident that

put him in that wheelchair.

I tried to jolly him up a bit.

But I'm afraid it was a mistake.

Oh, merrill, when will I
learn to mind my own business?

But you were just looking
for a way to make him happier.

Oh well, if that's
what I was looking for,

I certainly found it.

Oh, I can make him very
happy, all right, by leaving

him completely alone.

He made that extremely clear.

But you know, it's not
as simple as all that.

We met in London during the w*r.

And of course we fell
in love and planned

our whole lives together.

And then when he
could, he went back

to america to break
the news gently

to the girl he was engaged to.

Then the next thing I knew, I
received his dear Jenny letter.

And I never saw him again, not
till he came aboard the ship.

You know, meeting you
again could be the best thing

that's ever happened to him.

Well obviously, his
personal problems

have taken over his life.

But maybe you,
someone from his past,

his happy past can
make him forget.

Yes, but suppose
it just makes him

more unhappy and more bitter.

But how would you feel if
you didn't give it a try?

[Music playing]

That's Ms. Turner's cabin.

She has that
character kleinschmidt

guarding her jewels.
- Yes.

Talk to her.

Try to convince her to use
our safety deposit boxes.

Sir, from what
Julie told me, I

don't think Ms. Turner wants to
use our safety deposit boxes.

Why not?

Personal reasons.

Well, listen.

Julie gets off in a few minutes.

Why don't I send her up to the
bridge and she can explain.

[Music playing]

[Knocking]

Kurt!

Kurt, come quickly.

Kurt!

[Knocking]

Kurt!

What's that?

I woke up.

Somebody was here.

[Gasping]

My ring!

It's gone.

So it's you.

Don't move a step.

- Are you sure it's gone?
- Oh, yes.

Don't play the innocent.

A criminal face
if I ever saw one!

You're accusing me?

A good performance, capitan.

And look!

Very good, but not good enough.

The old story.

Fast horses, fancy women,
expensive gold stripes to buy.

So an easy answer.

But who would suspect
the honorable capitan?

I'll notify the security
people immediately.

Go ahead.

I won't bother to
search you [inaudible]..

[Inaudible] Please
talk to Julie first.

I don't--

and furthermore,
don't try a getaway.

Don't take one step
off this ship tonight.

Now, tell me everything
you remember.

Start when you
were a little girl.

Don't you think we
should let the ship's

security people handle it?

After all, you'll
be leaving tomorrow.

Leaving?

How could I leave
you after you lose

a ring like that, at a time
like this, to a man like him?

Brutal.

The second sitting tonight
was as bad as the first, worse.

That beautiful scheming female
got almost half the orders.

But why blame Edie?

She didn't invent
nouvelle cuisine.

To think when I first met
her, I thought at last, a woman

with understanding, with
whom I could share so much.

I was wrong about her.

That's finished.

But So am I. My
clientele rejected me.

This is my life.

I'll never cook again.

Never.

[Quiet music]

What did he say?

Will he share his
kitchen with me?

He'll never be able to accept
anything less than everything.

He's been a king too long.

[Sighing]

Are you telling me
Ms. Turner's in love

with kleinschmidt?

Yes, sir.

That's why I'm sure she
took the ring herself.

So there's really no
reason to notify security.

I suppose not.

No need to alarm
the entire ship.

Check into it, will you, Julie?
Talk to her.

Let me know immediately.

Yes, sir.

I'll be easy to find.

As you heard, I've been
ordered not to leave my ship.

[Music playing]

Good evening,
you miserable man.

I thought you might
like some bubbly.

Well, what about a
toast to those foggy

days in London town?

[Glasses clinking]

Why weren't you
this persistent then?

Well, chalk it up to youth.

I was only a timid
little art student then.

Who later became--

a very forthright
museum director.

Oh, you have to
be a fire breather

when you're a fundraiser.

But all that's finished now.

I resigned last month.

For any special reason?

Mm-hmm.

Quite a few, but
mainly because--

well, I just want to
take a leisurely look

at all the wonders that I've
been too busy rushing past

to notice.

Ever thinking of
doing the same thing

Jenny, I appreciate
what you're trying to do.

And I'm sorry about
the way I acted.

I truly am.

Enough said.

But you must
understand one thing.

I can't feel anymore.

My emotions are as
paralyzed as my legs.

Nothing touches me,
nothing moves me.

But you wouldn't
understand that, would you?

You live every day as though--

as though it were my last?

Yes, because, well, I
believe that's the way life

should be led.

You know, I'm not a gambler.

And I know I'm on this
earth just one time.

And, oh, I don't want to
waste one minute of it.

I envy you, Jenny.

Tell you what.

Tomorrow we're going
to dock at Mazatlan.

Come ashore with me.

There's a picturesque
old Plaza and a mission

that was built by--

Jenny, please.

Oh, come on.

Say yes, just for once.

You know, it might
get to be a habit.

[Music playing]

Man (on speaker):
Attention, please.

Our fun tour of
Mazatlan will leave

the dock area in minutes.

Now to get started.

I have the names of every
person aboard, all of them.

The capitan has convinced
me it wasn't him.

So one of these is our thief.

[Inaudible] I'd
love to go ashore.

Impossible.

We have to strike while
the jewels are hot.

Here we go.

Kleinschmidt.

No, we know it isn't me.

We Mark it out, which brings
it down to suspects.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Kurt.

[Inaudible] We start
first with the officers.

You there.

[Music playing]

Excuse me.

Might I ask you
a little question?

Of course.

Why did you do it?

No [inaudible].

You're dealing
with kleinschmidt.

Yes, I know who you are.

Kurt, I really don't think
that Dr. Bricker is involved.

Oh, so you are a doctor.

Then you may go.

No more questions.

Thank you.

Doctor wouldn't take jewels.

Doctors already have more money
than they know what to do with.

Are you going to
do this all day?

And all night if necessary.

And when I do catch this
swine who took your diamond,

whoever it is, man or woman,
[Non-English] Kleinschmidt

will have his revenge.

You know what I mean?

[Music playing]

Man (on speaker): Attention,
ladies and gentlemen.

The last tour bus into Mazatlan
leaves in five minutes.

Didn't Mr. Allison show up?

I'm not sure.

Jenny's done about all she can.

That's a pretty thick wall
he's built around himself.

Well, if anybody can
do it, your Jenny can.

Captain.

Oh, I was beginning to
think you wouldn't be here.

I wasn't going to be.

My mind was all made up.

Oh, well, what
changed your mind?

I suddenly discovered
I couldn't miss

[inaudible] Ever again.

She did it.

She got through to him.

She's quite a lady.

I never met anybody
with so much to give.

And so little time
left to give it.

What?

Last night she told me
why she quit the museum.

She's losing her
eyesight, Julie.

About six or eight months,
she'll be totally blind.

[Music playing]

Well, there are just a few
things, some knives and things.

And we weren't sure if they
were yours or the ship's.

So if you don't
mind taking a look.

Thank you.

[Clapping]

All right, this
is my kitchen now.

And things will be done my way,
the right way for a change.

First of all, get rid of
all this disgusting butter

and cream.

Those rich sauces,
out, out, out.

From now on, my nouvelle
cuisine is the only cuisine.

Not mine.

Nothing is.

And if anyone
doesn't like it, they

can just work for someone else.

Oh, Julie, my plan didn't work.

I destroyed his pride.

Doesn't care anymore
about anyone or anything.

I've lost him forever.

Captain merrill stubing:
Plus went ashore together.

Don't think he'll have any,
you know, trouble being

in that wheelchair, do you?

No.
He should be ok.

Would you like a little more?

Yeah, thank you.

Strange his doctor allowed
him to come on the cruise.

Oh, his doctor insisted on it.

I got a full report from him.

You see, he thinks
Mr. Ellis's paralysis

might be largely psychosomatic.

You mean it's all in his mind?

Mm-hmm.

He may be overwhelmed
with guilt about his part

in the accident that
k*lled his wife.

And he won't allow
himself to walk.

Well, if it's just a mental
block, then that's great news.

Not necessarily.

See, broken bones usually heal.

Sometimes a broken
will never does.

[Music playing]

Man (on speaker): We hope you
enjoyed your stay in Mazatlan.

Our next stop is
puerto vallarta.

I just checked with lost
and found about your purse.

And nobody's turned it in yet.

Oh, well it was
silly of me to lose it.

Ah.

Something strange
is happening, Jenny.

Until today, I had nothing
to look forward to.

Nothing.

Now I suddenly see I may
have a future ahead of me.

That's a pretty good
start for one day.

And Jenny, I'd like you
to be part of the future.

Stan, what you're
saying-- well, it--

it just can't be.

That's all.

It already is.

It's an old Chinese proverb that
says if you save a man's life,

you're responsible for it.

You know, I think
that it's been a pretty

long day for both of us.

If you'll excuse me, I'd like
to lie down before our dinner.

[Music playing]

Don't worry about a thing.

I'll just hide in the closet
until the both of you leave,

and then I'll put the
ring back in the box.

And I'll make sure that Mr.
kleinschmidt sees that the ring

isn't there when I leave here.
- Ah, right, right.

Right.
Oh, right!

That way, he'll never
suspect that you're

the one who returned it.

Are you ready, gertrude?

One minute.

I really appreciate
this, gopher.

Part of the job.

Ready, Kurt.

Oh, gertrude,
you look beautiful.

Thank you.

If only I had my ring to wear.

You will have it
back soon, I promise.

Well, shall we go?

This is the door, Kurt.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

[Music playing]

Ah, just a minute.

I wanted to talk to you.

I have some questions.

Oh, my notebook.

I must have left it in my cabin.

Not that door, Kurt.

That's my cabin.

Gopher Smith: Now wait a minute!
No, no, no.

You don't understand.

Will you let me go, please?

[Inaudible]

Look, I didn't--

I'm trying to exp-- sir.

As you see, capitan, I
caught the criminal red

handed in the cookie jar.

See?

Here's the stolen diamond.

He came back to steal the rest.

Sir, I didn't steal anything.

I can explain.

I was just trying--

I will explain to the hangman.

[Non-English] Kleinschmidt
has caught his first criminal.

[Music playing]

Woman (on speaker):
Attention, please.

Main seating dinner
is now being served

in the coral dining room.

[Knocking]

Come in.

The door's open.

You're not coming to dinner?

Hi.

No.

You're old Beau was in the
dining room sitting alone.

I know.

But it's easier this way.

You see, merrill,
I'm afraid he's

about to ask me to marry him.

Oh.

Well, is that so bad?

Oh, you've seen
what his accident

did to him psychologically.

After a year, he's just
beginning to get over it.

And now if he receives an
emotional jolt from me,

I just don't know if he'll
be able to handle it.

But what about you, Jenny?

Don't your feelings count?

I'll tell you a
secret, merrill.

In spite of two bad
marriages of my own,

I never did get over him.

[Quiet music]

And when you love
someone, it's infinitely

more important what happens
to him than to you, see?

Jennifer Langley, I love you.

[Music playing]

Good evening.

Good evening.

I'm sorry I'm late, especially
since it's the first time

we've had the pleasure
of chef Claude

dining with us as a passenger.

Thank you for
inviting me, captain.

Bon appetit.

Oh, yuck!

Vicki.

Children.

Anything new and different.

How's yours?

Oh, it's awful.

I'm sorry everyone.

We have a new chef.

Perhaps she got a
bit carried away.

What's it supposed to be?

It's supposed to
be sauce soubise.

What it is, is--

I'll have a word with Edie.

We can't have this.

Captain, with your
permission, I'll handle this.

Oh, everything is--

everything's being
returned, Claude.

What did I do wrong?

In a word, everything.

Attention, my staff.

An apron, my toque.

Oh.

You may leave, Ms. Franklin.

Cuisine De Claude has
come to the rescue.

Well, don't just stand around.

Everybody move.

[Inaudible]

Great.

Let's get cooking over here.

[Music playing]

Gertrude!

Gertrude, I've been
looking all over for you.

I have your ring.

The captain has Smith.

He'll make a
confession, I'm sure.

So it's over.

Not quite.

There's another confession.

Mine.

I don't understand.

Kurt, I took the ring.

And I gave it to
gopher to put back.

You took it?

You had it all the time?

Then kleinschmidt did not
catch his first criminal.

Oh, I know how much
that must hurt you.

So tomorrow, for us, I guess
it has to be [speaking German]..

Well, I must
apologize to the boy.

You did it to test
me, and I failed.

No, I understand.

No, Kurt.

I only did it because i--

I couldn't bear the
thought of you leaving me.

Now I'm just a
foolish woman in love.

Is it possible?

And I only wanted to be a
success because I couldn't

bear the thought of losing you.

Kurt, you mean that?

And you're not angry?

How could I be angry now?

Because finally I am a success.

I did catch a thief,
a very beautiful

one, who's stolen my heart.

Save room on the other
finger for a gold band.

Your ring!

It's gone again.

Someone stole it while
you were standing here.

Kurt, it's still in your hand.

[Laughter]

I thought you might
come back for that.

[Gasp]

I guess I really messed
things up, didn't I?

Come on.

I may sometimes be stubborn,
but I am never, ever stupid.

You forget, I tasted your
sauce soubise before.

That time it was delicious.

Delicious?

You said it was only
good to paste pictures.

Well, a master chef is
entitled to a little white lie

now and then.

Besides, how could I
tell you that your sauce

was almost as good as mine?

But tonight you
purposely destroyed it.

To think that you would
jeopardize your career for me.

Well, I've returned the favor.

I've convinced the
captain that he should

keep you on here with me.

Oh, well, what about--

you may say the
words in my presence.

Nouvelle cuisine.

Oh, as much as I love--

love you, and I think I do
love you, Claude, I can't

give up something I believe in.

You will never have to.

You see, before I met you,
I'd forgotten the words

of the great
escoffier, who said,

a man who refuses to accept
the new grows quickly old.

And if you're with me always,
that will never happen.

[Music playing]

So this is where
you've been hiding.

I'm not really hiding.

I'm just feeling
quiet, that's all.

Oh, I see someone's
found my purse.

Thank you.

One of the passengers
found it in the mission.

You, um-- you don't think
very much of me, do you?

If you did, you
wouldn't lie to me.

I have never lied to you.

Not even by omission?

I did a miserable thing.

To make sure it was yours,
I looked inside the purse.

And there was a letter
from your doctor.

You should have told me.

You should have had more
faith in the new Stan.

You helped make him.

This doesn't change a thing.

In a few months, I won't
be good for anything.

Oh, nonsense.

You sound like the old me.

Use my eyes, Jenny.

We'll both look
at life together.

That would never really--

have you forgotten
your own [inaudible]??

Today is the first day
of the rest of your life.

You made a believer
out of me, Jenny.

The only way you can
stop me is if you tell

me you don't believe it now.

Well, I do.

At least-- at least I did.

Well, then it's settled.

There's one thing
you should know,

the reason I didn't
return to you.

When I got back to america,
there was a surprise

waiting for me, a daughter.

My daughter.

Ellen never told
me I was a father.

She didn't want me to come back
to her just because of that.

But when I saw the child, i--

I do love you, Jenny.

Always have, always will.

[Music playing]

Going to shore for a while?

Yes, I have a very special
lunch planned for my Edie.

Oh, a little
romantic cafe, right?

Well, not quite.

Claude knows a
place where they

make the best barbecued ribs.

Barbecued ribs?

With a hot sauce that
will burn your socks.

Which one will bake
the wedding cake?

[Laughter]

[Speaking German]
For everything.

You've been most understanding.

We hope to see you again.

You might, in the
honeymoon suite.

Providing you
put a very strong

lock on the door, [non-English]

Oh, of course.

With Ms. Turner's jewelry,
you need a good lock

to keep everybody out.

Nein.

I want it to keep everybody in.

Remember, I expect
to see you every year

from now on, both of you.

Well, I imagine we'll
make the reservation

as soon as we get settled.

No need to make a reservation.

Next trip's on me.

Oh!

That is an invitation
the ellises can't refuse.

Maybe next time I'll
be without these wheels.

Meanwhile, we're
going to New York.

There's an eye specialist
I want Jenny to meet.

Wonderful.

Yes, it is wonderful.

One question, captain.

Tell me.

Why ever do people call
this the love boat?

They do?

[Music playing]