02x02 - Would You Wrather Sing or Fly?

[bunniefuu]

[tablet plays note]


Cooper, have you seen
my green math book?


I thought I left it
on the kitchen table


Sorry, sis,
I don't know where it is


But I would surely tell you
if I was able


[singing off-key] If you were able,
next time use a label


[rapping] Listen up, kids,
it's time to eat


So grab your forks,
and take your seat


I'm checkin' hands,
I'm checkin' teeth


I just looked up
Ollie's nose and--


Okay, I don't have a rhyme for this,
but what is wrong with you?


[plays note]


Mama


[singing off-key]
Ah


Not lovin' how
this plate of food is lookin'


The bacon's burnt,
and the eggs are kinda runny


I bet even Jasper
wouldn't eat this


Jasper is Ollie's
classroom bunny


Which clearly you don't find
very funny.


[off-key]
Very funny


What fresh nightmare is this?


We asked, "Would you rather
live in a family that never talked


Or family that always,
always sings?"


This is a good time
to tell ya


I borrowed your
two favorite rings


Good, because "sings"
rhymes with "rings"


[singing off-key]:
Sister love


[tablet beeps]


-[thrash metal playing]
- I finished my juice


And I need some more!


I finished my juice


And I'm stompin'
on the floor


Where's my juice?
Need the juice


O.J.


Spatula solo


[thrash metal music
continuing]


[rapping] Slow down, Ollie,
don't lose your cool


DJ Mom will fill you up,
then it's off to school


- We're off to school
- Off to school


[Cami/Cooper]
Off to school


[singing off-key]
Education first, y'all


[theme music playing]


Would you rather
lose your phone


Or give up pizza
for a month?


Share your diary
with the world


Or have to eat it
for your lunch?


Sing out of tune
to your friends


Or trip and fall
into your crush?


Shave your head,
paint it red


Or use your dog's
toothbrush?


We need a little Q and A


Come on Wrather-heads,
play along


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Or would you rather do that?


Would you rather do that?


Don't matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do this?


Would you rather do this?


Or would you
rather just dance?


Or would you
rather just dance?


No matter what we do


We're doing it with you


I'd rather do that


Ask the world!


Would you rather do that?





Anyway, I didn't mean
to dominate the conversation


by going on and on
for ten minutes,


but that's what happening
with the Fredster.


Hey, buddy.
When did you get here?


-Are you serious?
-Oh, hey, what's up, Fred?


I just got done telling you
what's up.


Sorry, it's not you.


We got sucked into
this new game, "Bubble Wrap Pop."


It's like popping real Bubble Wrap,
just without the exercise.


-Sold! Let me try.
-You wanna get popped?


Has anyone told you
you're not very good at sharing?


Please.
I'm great at sharing.


I will bite you!


Anyway, as I was saying,


I'm stressing out, 'cause
Neve's birthday is coming up,


and I have no idea
what to get her.


Relationships, am I right?
[laughs]


So, what would you guys want
if you could have anything?


An army of robotic sharks,
two dragons,


and the fries I ordered
ten minutes ago!


Well, I'd go with
the power to fly,


so I could fight crime
under the name "Captain Feathers."


Ooh! Or "The Pheasant."


Well, my budget is $,
so you've both been zero help.


Cooper, I need a favor.


My a cappella group
has a gig this weekend.


And I just found out
that Malcolm is sick.


And you want me to heal him?


Sounds like a job
for "The Pheasant."


What? No.


Stop that.


I heard you sing this morning, and I was
hoping that you could fill in for him?


We practice every day
after school,


and then the big performance
is this Saturday at--


Wait for it--


...Victor's Pizzeria!
[laughs]


Wow, that was so not worth
waiting for.


You'd really be helping me out.
So, will you do it?


Uh...


I mean, heh.
The thing is... heh.


-Uh...
-I'll take that as a yes.


-Fine. Fine.
-Thank you. You are going to love it.


Wednesday is--
Wait for it--


Oh, just say it.


It's kooky T-shirt day!


Fasten your seat belt,
baby bro.


Things are about to get
cray-cray.


Coop, I thought we were
gonna spend this week


building the stunt for the next
Would You Wrather:


"The Wheel of Ollie"?


[sighs] Why am I so bad
at coming up with fake excuses?


Don't worry. I'll figure out
a way to get you out of this.


-[thrash metal playing]
- Mom is waiting in the car


In the car, it's time to go!





-[keys clattering]
-[doorknob turning]


Hello, Dimples McPretty.
[shrieks]


Hi, Fred.


FYI, I prefer "Mrs. Wrather."


Jenna, what are
you doing here?


I live here.
Same question back at ya.


I invited Neve over to give her
her birthday present.


And you're doing it
at our house because...?


Jenna, you know your soft lighting
shows off my chiseled jawline.


Ah, I do know.


Look what I got her.


I took photos of Neve and me
and mashed 'em together.


I call it "Freve."


Gah!


You don't like it?


It's not that I don't like it.
It's just--


Dah!


Hey, Fred.
I'm a yellow belt now.


That means I fear nothing.


[screaming]


Oh, man. You guys don't like it.


It's a horrible present,
isn't it?


-[doorbell rings]
-Neve's here. What am I gonna do?


-Aah!
-I'll give you kids some privacy.


-Neve, hey, you made it.
-Yep.


I can't believe you put up
all those signs for me to follow.


"Best birthday present ever--
this way!"


I can't believe
I did that, either.


And you hid it
at Cooper's house,


which is really weird,
but I'm gonna let that go.


So, can I see my gift?


Of course, m'lady.
It's right over... here.


Oh. An ugly old lamp?


Uh, but wait. There's more.
Um, this book.


A child's dictionary?
"Property of Ollie Wrather?"


Dreams do come true.
Yay! [chuckles]


Uh, Fred, I don't think Neve
has followed your clues correctly.


Huh?


Fred set up a little puzzle here


-to help lead you to your real gift.
-He did?


-I did?
-You did!


Take this beautiful
antique lamp


and shine it
on this dictionary...


-[highlighter squeaks]
-...and what word is highlighted?


"Party!"


Fred is throwing you a super-awesome
party down at the rink this weekend.


Fred, that is so sweet!


[chuckles]
And not just any party.


The greatest birthday party
in the history of--


-Okay, that's enough.


Thanks, Fred. You're awesome.
I'm gonna go tell everyone. Bye!


[door closes]


[sighs] Thanks, Jenna.
You really saved me.


But I've never thrown
a party before.


Which is why
I'm gonna help you.


You just need to do
one little thing for me first.


Please get this
out of my house.


Mm-hmm.


This thing is heavy.
Are you pushing?


-[Ollie] Yes and no.
-What does that mean?


No.


That was a good practice, but I feel
like you need to come in earlier


on that part
where Deb and I go,


I'm falling through
the clouds in the sky


I'm soaring past the waves
on the ocean


[both harmonizing]
Just trying to fly


Just trying to fly


-There it is. That sounded good.
-So now do I get my kooky shirt?


Before Wednesday?


Looks like the group just got
its first bad boy. [chuckles]


Let's practice some more.
I'm gonna go grab some water.


Coop.


I figured out a way to get
you out of a cappella.


-What is that?
-It's medieval dental headgear.


You can't sing
if your jaw's wired shut.


-I am not putting this thing on.
-Not without my drill, you're not.


[whirring loudly]


Look, I'm actually gonna stay
in the group and help out Charlotte.


-It's kind of fun.
-It's kind of fun?


[Cami and Ollie laughing]


I do not know
why we're laughing.


I'm serious. I thought
it'd be boring, but I really like it.


-Cooper, you ready for more?
-Let's do it.


Oh, and don't forget what
the opera singer said to his bicycle tire.


"Please don't B-flat."



-[Charlotte and Ollie laughing]
-I'm so confused.


-Wait, Cooper can't go sing with you now.
-Why not?


Um, do you see that?
That is the Wheel of Ollie.


And that's important because...?


Because we made plans today


to paint Would You Wrather
questions on it,


and then strap our little brother to it,
so we can spin him like a top.


I've been told I may vomit.


Cooper, our performance
is Saturday.


Can't you work on that thing
another time?


Um, yeah, I guess I could.
What do you think?


Yeah, I think it's great that
you're choosing singing with Charlotte


over this thing we've been
talking about for months.


Great. Look at us
working it all out.


All right. Let's go inside.


Uh, wait.


[Ollie grunts]
This is not as fun as it looks!








[sighs] Cooper is late
yet again, unbelievable.


Spin me.


All to sing at a pizza place, like what
we're doing here isn't important!


Spin me!


If he keeps blowing this off,


we're never gonna have
the Wheel of Ollie ready


for the next Would You Wrather?


Spin me, woman!


Uh, where have you been?


You were supposed to have him
home an hour ago.


Practice ran late. Sorry, Mom.
[chuckles]


Okay, well, this is now leading
into my time,


so thanks for dropping by.
Take care, now.


[sighs]


All right. Finally.
We have a lot of work to do.


Sorry about being late.
This wheel is looking sick!


Go on. You know you want to.


Do it!


First, let's brainstorm cool
Would You Wrathers for him to land on.


How do you guys feel
about mustard shampoo?


[Cooper] Awesome! Count me in.
[chuckles]


All right, Coop. There's the enthusiasm
I've been wanting to see.


-What?
-Hmm?


Oh. My bad.


Charlotte was asking if we should
coordinate outfits. [chuckles]


You're video chatting right now?


Cami, this isn't some sub shop!


We're performing at Victor's Pizzeria!
It's the big show!


Oh! Well in that case...


-[phone beeps off]
-Can we just focus on this


without any more talk
about Charlotte or a capella?


Yes, you're right. I'm sorry.


All right. Would You Wrather ideas.
Let's go.


[phone bloops]


What? She's picking out
top hats? That's madness!


Sharing's fun!


Wee-eee-eee!


Jenna!


I searched every inch
of the house looking for you.


You did?


Okay. I may have stood
in the living room and yelled,


"Jenna! Jenna! Jenna!
Jenna! Jenna, Jenn--"


Okay, Fred. I got it.


Anyway, I've been thinking about
decorations for Neve's party,


and I got nothing.


You saw the "Freve" poster.
I'm a mess.


You need to relax.


Neve isn't gonna like you because
you throw her the fanciest party.


-She's gonna like you because--
-Of my beefcake arms?


Sure. And also because
you're you.


All Neve wants for her birthday
is a fun night,


and that's what you're
gonna give her.


That sounds great, but how?


By using all this stuff
in the garage.


Mr. Wrather used to throw me
the best birthday parties.


Wow! A karaoke machine?
This is awesome.


That was for my th.


We actually met on my birthday
in college,


and every year after that,


he would surprise me
with some crazy, fun party.


-A snow-cone maker? A smoke machine?
-[chuckles]


-This guy knew what he was doing.
-He sure did.


Jenna, this stuff is gonna
make Neve's party.


Wow. I'd forgotten about
half the things in here.


A disco ball? Score!
What birthday was this for?


Oh. Well...


It's still new in the box.
It's never been opened.


Yep. We...


never got a chance
to use that one.


I'm sorry, Jenna.


But I can think of no better time
to break that ball out


than for Neve's big party.


Let's get this stuff down
to the rink, shall we?





There they are!


Someone left the cap off
the toothpaste this morning


- It was you
- No, it wasn't


Aw, that's cute.


Someone left their towel
on the floor this morning


- It was you
- No, it wasn't


So adorable.


Someone never flushes
the toilet


It was me


Okay, we're done
with the singing.


Charlotte, I have a surprise
that's gonna knock your socks off.


Ollie, wheel out
the mystery guest.


Look who kicked his sniffles
and is back to rejoin the group!


That's right. It's everyone's
favorite singer, Malcolm!


I'm so cold.


-[hacking]
-You hear that?


-Still has the voice of an angel.
-[coughing]


So Coop, I... I guess this means that


your services are no longer needed.


-Cami, he's shivering!
-Shivering with excitement!


-With fever!
- The fever to sing!


Hit it, Malcolm!


-Cooper, can you get him home?
-Sure.


Don't worry. We're gonna
get you back to bed.


Is that you, Gam-Gam?


-Can we roll him down the hill?
-Absolutely not.


-Maybe.
-[gasps]


What was that?


That was me trying to problem-solve,


so I can get my partner back
for Would You Wrather?


Well, I need him for my group.


Wow. That's a little selfish.


Oh, so it's selfish
when I say I need him,


but not when you say
you need him?


Good. I'm glad
we're on the same page.


Cami, you're gonna have
to get used to sharing Cooper.


He's my brother, too, and...


we're gonna be spending
a lot more time together.


What are you saying?


I'm saying that if things
go well tomorrow,


the group's gonna make Cooper
a permanent member.


Permanent


Boop!

Hey, have you seen Cooper?


Upstairs. I just borrowed
a few splashes of his cologne.


Which answers
my second question.


Well, I'm off to Neve's party.
I'll see you there.


Okay, sure. Fine.


Oh, sweet Cami.


I can see you're in a funk, and I think
I know exactly what's going on.


Walk with me.


Look, I know it's hard for you
now that I'm Neve's boo.


But you're stronger
than you know.


Smile, little butterfly.
You'll find your flower someday.


Charlotte, let's go!


Cooper, you have to come see what
I have waiting for you in the backyard.


No way! Last time you said that,
a kangaroo punched me in the nose.


It's not that.


I have the final epic idea
for our Ollie wheel.


You're gonna love it.





Is this what I think it is?


Do you think it's a state-of-the-art,
m*llitary-grade jet pack


-with a turbo thruster?
-I do!


It is!


How'd you get this?


I got a guy.


And I may have pre-enlisted Ollie


into the armed forces
when he turns .


-What's that, now?
-Doin' great, buddy.


[sighs] The Wheel of Ollie
is now complete with ideas,


and we can do
the Would You Wrather!


I can't wait to test
this thing out when I get back.


Yeah. You see,


we only have the jet pack
on loan for an hour.


-But I have the performance.
-I know. Bad timing, huh?


I guess you'll just
have to pick one.


A cappella,
or Would You Wrather?


Oh, man. I have to choose between
the concert, or getting to fly?


Yep. What's it gonna be,
"Pheasant"?


Actually, it's "The Pheasant."


And, for obvious reasons,
I've decided to go with Captain Feathers.


[chuckles]
It's cooler.


Is it?


Fred, I got your text.
What's the emergency?


And what happened
to all the lights?


That's the emergency. Neve and
all the guests are arriving any second.


This night's gonna be a disaster.


Even Coop's awesome cologne
can't save me now.


That answers my next question.
[clears throat]


Let's just find the manager.
It's probably a blown fuse.


[all]
Surprise! Happy birthday!


[horns tooting]


What is happening? Why is
everyone from my office here?


And my book club?
Is that our mailman?


Yep, he was a hard get.


And don't forget Principal Walker.


I'm rolling him out in a cake later.
Act surprised.


What is all this?


You're always there for me,
so I wanted to do something for you.


I wanted to throw you
a Jenna party.


Fred, my birthday
was a month ago.


It doesn't matter.
You deserve this.


It's time you start creating some
new crazy-fun birthday memories.


[disco music playing]


Oh, it's my disco ball!


Thank you. I love it!


I get why Coop has you
for a best friend.


Now, come on, enjoy yourself


for the next hour and ten minutes.


After that, I hustle you out,


switch the banner,
and throw my party for Neve.


I hope my cologne
will last that long.


I don't think you're gonna
have a problem.





So, you think you're ready?


Are you asking me if I'm ready
to strap a rocket onto my back


and launch myself into the sky


after watching a four-minute
online tutorial video?


Duh! Of course I'm ready!


Coop, we need to go.


Sorry, Charlotte, but I don't think
Cooper can sing today.


He has a date with the clouds.


Cooper, take off the jet pack
and let's go.


Yeah, you're right. I made
a commitment to the group.


Um, Cooper, keep the pack on.
You made a commitment to your show.


We have a Would You Wrather
you need to do.


-No, he doesn't. Come on.
-Yes, he does. Cooper, stay here.


-Come on. Come on, here boy.
-Stay. Boy, no.


-No, no. Stay.
-Come on.


Cut it out. I'm not a dog.


Of course you aren't.
Who wants a treat?


[candy clatters]


Really, Charlotte? I'm not just
gonna go fetch some candy.


Now, if you'll excuse me.


Okay, why are you trying
to ruin my performance?


I'm not. We just have limited time
to do this Would You Wrather,


and it needs to happen now.


Please.


Are you really that threatened
by Cooper spending


even a little bit of time with me?


A little bit of time?


You've had him working
on your thing all week.


I know you're not a part of Would
You Wrather, but it's important, too.


No, I'm very aware that
I'm not a part of your show.


-I'm reminded of it all the time.
-What do you mean?


All day, every day, I see you guys
laughing and having fun together.


But you always say you don't want
anything to do with the show.


That doesn't mean I don't want
anything to do with you two.


It's not always fun being
the one of the outside looking in.


I'm really sorry
we made you feel that way.


You're not an outsider.
You're our big sister.


Okay, you two, listen up.


I'm deciding on my own
what I'm gonna do.


-You're gonna go sing with Charlotte.
-I'm gonna go sing with Charlotte.


Sorry I had to put my foot down
like that,


but I'm my own man,
and I will not be bossed around.


-So take off the jet pack. We gotta go.
-Yes, ma'am.


Thanks, Cami.


So I'm pretty sure the video said
that this switch unlatches the belt.


[steam hissing]


-[jet pack whooshing]
-[Cooper yelling]


-Cooper, what are you doing?
-Get back down here!


[Cooper] I can't!
This is Captain Feathers


-officially requesting assistance!
-[jet pack whooshing]


-[whooshing continuing]
-[Cooper] Aah! Aah!


A snow-cone machine?
Karaoke? A disco ball?


You definitely know
how to throw a party, Fred.


I learned from the best.
Having fun, Ollie?


I guess so. But there's
a large, angry cake back there


yelling at everyone.


sh**t! I forgot Principal Walker.


Thanks for coming to our concert.


You guys sounded awesome.


You should definitely make
Cooper a full-time member.


That'd be pretty cool.


Oh, look! You finally got
your kooky shirt.


No, this is my real shirt.


Oh.
[chuckles awkwardly]


Hey, Neve. Happy birthday.


Fred really threw a fantastic party.


He sure did. And Cami,


-you hang in there, kid.
-Hang in there?


I know how Fred's beefcake arms
drive you crazy.


Just remember, he's not a god.
He's only a man.


But he sure is a god
on that dance floor.

[ Cooper]
The Pheasant!