08x22 - Getting Started/Daughter's Dilemma/The Captain Wears Pantyhose

[bunniefuu]

[Theme - "love boat theme"]

Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

[Chatter]

Hi.

My name's Paul Lewis.

Hi, Paul.

Oh, boomer penor.

Boomer.

What have we got here, a couple
of guys out for a good time?

Yeah.

This cruise is a present
for my th birthday.

Yeah.

And we're ready to party Hardy.

Hey, ok.

Hey, check this out.

You guys are on the party
Hardy deck, promenade --

tres, quatro, quatro.

Ok?

Ok?

Right.

And here, Paul, that
was left for you.

And, guys, have a good one.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

She's pretty.

Wise up.

She was just smiling
at you to get to me.

Who's the note from?

Dad.

"Have a happy birthday, son.

There's a surprise for you on
the ship to get you started,

something I wish my father had
given me when I was your age."

Hm.

I wonder what the surprise is.

The surprise is I've
been here for five minutes,

and I don't have a
date for dinner yet.

Now, sir, remember we
promised, no shop talk.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

- I'm Nancy sweetland.
- Hi.

Adam bricker, the ship's doctor.

I'm Martin waller.

Adam: Welcome, sir.

This is my daughter.

And that's my son-in-law,
James sweetland.

How are you?

Welcome.

Just one big happy family.

Well, you could say that.

Ah, did I hear happy family?

Always like to get a
picture of a happy family.

Well, why not?

Ok, here we go.

Big smiles.

[Camera clicking]
Great.

Thanks.

Excuse me.

How about one more?

Martin: You got it.
Ace: Ok.

Here we go.

Flash those pearlies.

Great.
Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Ok.

Nice earrings, honey.

It must have cost you a bundle.

Cost her a bundle?

It cost me a bundle.

These your kids?

I'm his daughter.

Nancy.

Well, you'd better keep
an eye on your father.

He's a looker.

[Chuckles]

[Laughs]

Father, laughing
at a woman like that

will only encourage her.

I hope it does.

How about one last picture?

Oh, sure.

Ok, here we go.

Flash those pearlies.

[Camera clicking]

Great.

Have you met first
officer crichton yet?

Uh, no, sir.

Who's that?

A candidate for captain
on one of our sister ships

who's on board for final
testing under my supervision.

Yeah, for part of the cruise,
crichton, as deputy captain,

will be giving you your
orders instead of me.

Is that understood?

Yes, sir.

But it's going to be hard taking
orders from somebody else, sir.

Well, it might be
harder if you don't.

I understand crichton is a
strict, no-nonsense officer.

Oh, a real tough guy, huh?

Oh, not exactly.

I'll let you be the judge.

Captain stubing, my
pre-sailing tour is complete.

Vicki and Judy were
excellent guides.

It was our pleasure.

It certainly was.

Officer crichton,
I'd like you to meet

some other members of our crew.

This is burl Smith, our purser.

Officer crichton.

Isaac Washington,
our chief bartender.

Officer crichton.

Nice to meet you.

I hope you don't find them
too difficult to handle.

Oh, I doubt it.

They don't look like
mutineers to me.

And you don't look
like captain queeg to us.

Ah, looks can be deceiving.

Uh, captain stubing.

Oh, ace, why don't you
take a picture of all of us

together with officer crichton?

All-righty.

With your permission,
I'd like to begin my final

pre-sailing preparations.

Very good.

I'll meet you on the
bridge in five minutes.

Sir.

Dad, how come you didn't
tell me she was a woman?

Oh, that's not important.

The question isn't whether
or not she's woman.

It's whether or not
she's a captain.

[Ship horn blowing]

[Cheering]

[Theme music playing]

Port , slow ahead.

Port , slow ahead.

You're doing fine.

Thank you, sir.

I wonder what my surprise is.

It could be a watch.

Maybe it's a video tape machine.

Skis.

They sure keep the
pool well stocked.

It's a sports car.

No, it's definitely a girl.

The headlights are in the
wrong place for a sports car.

I'm talking about
my birthday surprise.

Well, it can't
be a sports car.

Your dad's letter said
it would be on the ship.

Oh.

Hi.

That's the second
time she's smiled at me.

That's what girls are
supposed to do on cruises.

Wait.

That's it.

What's it?

Your father said it was
something to get you off

to a good start, something
he wished his father had

given him when he was your age.

What are you talking about?

That's your surprise.

He bought you a woman.

[Laughs]

A woman who's going
to make you a man.

Come on.

This is crazy.

Come on.

Hi.

I'm boomer.

And this here's my buddy, Paul.

Saw you smiling, so
I thought i'd, um--

i'd, um--

come over and say, hi.

Right.

Hi.

I'm misty.

Would you like to join me?

Hey, consider yourself joined.

Don't be shy, Paul.

Sit here.

I've been told I have
a knack for making

people feel very comfortable.

(Voice squeaking) So--

[clears throat]

So, are you here by yourself?

Not anymore.

Isaac: Uh-huh.

That's what I thought.

- Guys.
- Hey.

Hi.

Now, doc, how do you feel
about our lady captain?

Oh, I'm impressed.

How could a woman who
looks that gorgeous

get a ship out of
port the way she did?

Easy.

She just blows in its ear,
and it follows her anywhere.

[Laughs]

You know, this vacation's the
best idea you've had all year.

Mhm.

I know.

If only I can get father
to relax long enough,

maybe he'll realize how
much he enjoys this,

and then he'll retire.

And then you'll be
able to move up.

Move up, and then I can
run waller internationals.

Yeah, see?

No, no, no.

Look, we have settled
this once and for all.

And I am quite content
the way things are.

And why don't you relax
and play the game?

Ok?
Your turn.

- Hi.
- No, it's your turn.

- Oh, hi.
- Look who I found.

He was wandering around
the ship by his lonesome.

Now I'm trying to get
him to take a swim.

Father doesn't swim.

We have a pool at home
that he's never been in.

Well, this one is different.

This one will have me in it.

Martin: Actually,
a dip in the pool

doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Oh, great.

I can hardly wait.

Toodle-oo.

We'll see you.

Look out.

All right.

Ok, it's your turn to roll.

Nance, come on.
It's your turn.

I don't want to play.

Oh, come on.

And this is our lido deck.

I must say, you certainly know
your way around the bridge.

Thank you, captain.
I've worked very hard at it.

- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes?

We've got a problem
on the aloha deck.

The air conditioning's
going out.

Oh.

Officer crichton,
your first crisis.

Thank you, sir.

Have the ship's engineer
temporarily redirect

the air flow from the crew
deck to the lower deck

while we check all the valves.

Right away, captain.

And as for the
passengers, Dr. Bricker,

I don't think we need worry
about heat prostration

just yet.

But Mr. Washington,
would you please

mix up a batch of
complementary coolers

for our lower-deck passengers?

Yes, sir-- uh, yes, ma'am.

Captain.

Sir, ma'am, how are we
supposed to address her?

With a lot of respect.

Gopher (over pa):
Attention, please.

Main seating dinner
is now being served

in the coral dining room.

[Chatter]

It's your table
tonight, officer crichton.

I want you to sit here.

Thank you.

- Good evening.
- Good evening, everybody.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- Hi.
- Hello.

Uh, merrill, ace and I were
having a little conversation.

I say the "Norway" is the
largest passenger ship,

and he says the "queen
Elizabeth" was larger.

Can you settle the
argument for us?

Well, well, officer crichton
handles all the problems.

Officer.

Well, actually you're both
right because the "queen"

is the heavier.

But the "Norway," which was
originally named the "France,"

is the longest passenger ship
in the world at , feet, four

feet longer than the "queen."

Now, you see?

I was just going
to tell you that.

I am very impressed.

Yeah, dad, a lady
captain, now, that's a role

model I can really look up to.

I don't think you could
have a finer role model

in the world than your father.

Oh, everything
here looks delicious.

Beats eating at your
desk, eh, James?

[Laughs]

Father, you should be
taking more vacations.

James: Oh, oh, look.

There's miss Randolph.

Heh.

[Dinner music playing]

Oh, no.

Is she coming over this way?

Father, will you tell
her this seat is taken?

It is taken.

I invited her to dinner.

Bonsoir, mademoiselle.

Hi.

I'm so hungry, I could eat
what the goat didn't want.

[Laughter]

That's right out
of "picturesque

speech and patter."

You ain't heard nothing yet.

Now, remember, when
misty gets here--

I still think you're wrong.

My father wouldn't fix
me up with a prost*tute.

Sure, he would.

You're almost
and still a virgin.

Fathers, they get nervous
about stuff like that.

You're .

And you're still a virgin?

Yeah.

But at least I think
about it a lot.

Ah!

Here's what you need, the
special, a Sushi appetizer.

I read that Sushi makes
you feel real sexy.

I hate Sushi.

Besides, aren't you
thinking of oysters?

Are you kidding?

Sushi is what oysters
eat to get sexy.

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, no problem.

Happy birthday, Paul.

Uh, how did you know that?

Oh, a crew member told me.

We'll have to do something
extra special to celebrate.

Well, um, actually,
it's not until tomorrow.

Well, then tonight will
just be for practice.

Oh, Sushi, my favorite.

I think I'll start with Sushi.

Same for me.

You better make that a
double for him with a dozen

oysters on the side.

[Theme music playing]

Excuse me, sir.

Yes?

I have some papers
for you to sign.

Officer crichton
will handle that.

Oh.

Thank you, Mr. Smith.

Simmons (over radio):
Uh, this is Simmons.

Just picked up a fishing
boat on the radar, sir.

Dead ahead.

Distance, two miles.

Crichton.

Slow to knots, and
change course to - - .

knots, course - - .

Simmons, contact
fishing vessel.

Alert we are changing
course to - -

and changing speed
to knots to avoid.

Notify me of any response.

Yes, ma'am.

Captain.

Yes?

Not you, her.

Terrific.

Thank you, Mr. Smith.

Oh, and you have
yesterday's date on that.

You might want to fix it.

Right away, captain.

[Slow music playing]

You know, I really
needed this vacation.

I've been working so hard.

Um, what exactly do you do?

I guess you could
call me a teacher.

A teacher, that's great.

Well, actually, no.

I'm more of a private tutor.

Oh.

You mean you, like,
give private lessons?

Yes.

One-on-one sort of thing.

Um, huh.

Did-- did i--

did I tell you I'm starting
college in the fall?

Yeah.

That's wonderful.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on.

I have something for you.

Where are we going?

My cabin.

Ok.

But I have to go talk to
boomer about something first.

Heh, heh.

I'll meet you there.

All right.

It's fiesta cabin, room .

Don't be too long because I want
to get to bed early tonight.

Ah.

You certainly know
how to charm a lady.

I'm sorry about my dancing.

I'm just a little
out of practice.

I can't hear you.

I'm a little out of pract--

my ears get clogged when
someone's standing on my feet.

[Laughs]

Isn't she ever
going to stop dancing?

Oh, Nancy, come on.

Just you're roving
photographer at work.

Hey, ace.

- Can I get a sh*t?
- Oh, yeah, sure.

Come on.
- All right.

Here we go.
- Nancy, come on.

Come on.

That's it.

Great.
Thanks.

Thanks.
I want a copy of that.

Yeah, you got it.

Come on.

I really think you're
overreacting about your father.

I'm sure it's just a
harmless flirtation.

James, I know my father.

And he wouldn't spend this much
time and energy on something

he thought meaningless.

Well, I must say, I've never
seen him so taken with anyone.

She's the first person
I've ever known to make

him forget about business.

Look at him.

[Chuckles]

She just could, couldn't she?

Well, did you ever think
you'd see two captains together

at the rail in the moonlight?

No.

But this presents a
serious nautical problem.

What's that?

Who's steering the ship?

What I wouldn't give to
hear the sweet nothings

they're whispering
to each other.

[Chuckles]

Exactly what is visatex?

Oh, it's a new high-viscosity
hull paint with a poly

propylethylene
base that not only

minimizes drag but helps prevent
algae and barnacle build up.

I see.

It must reduce dry-dock time.

About % or more.

%?

That's fascinating.

Come on, boomer.

I told misty I'd be
there a half hour ago.

Ok.

Just one more minute, buddy.

Everything's got
to be just perfect.

Today is the first day of
the rest of your sex life.

Now, let's see-- hairspray,
breath spray, deodorant,

aftershave.

I forgot the aftershave.

[Sighs]

Boomer, I can't go
through with it.

Eh?

Now, what are you talking about?

I'm an amateur.

Misty's a pro.

And what if she laughs at me?

Then you'll have to keep
doing it till you get it right.

Aw, come on.

Sex can't be that difficult.
There are more than

billion people in the world.

That's a lot of aftershave.

Really, Lillian, I've
never known a woman like you.

You mean you've never
known a big-mouth before?

Seriously, I love the
way life flows out of you.

You've touched some very
deep feelings inside me,

some I didn't know I
was capable of having.

Martin, those are
some very strong words.

You wouldn't be giving a
girl a line now, would you?

Maybe I should
stop talking, huh?

Excuse me.

I hope I didn't interrupt you.

[Coughs]

It's all right.

I was just telling your father
it's way past my bedtime.

Good night.

And thank you for a
wonderful evening.

Thank you.

Good night.

Good night.

Don't say it.

I know.

You think she's going
to ruin my life.

Oh, father, don't
be so dramatic.

Actually, I came out
here to apologize.

For what?

For being so rude
to you about Lillian.

Well, maybe I was
a little jealous

that another woman
was taking all

your attention away from me.

I'm sorry.

It's all right, Nancy.

But sometimes you change
your mind so fast,

I can hardly keep up with you.

Am I forgiven?

Of course.

And I'm glad you had
a change of heart.

She's really a wonderful woman.

Oh, I'm sure she is.

But what I wanted to
tell you, I want you

to do whatever makes you happy.

Thanks, honey.

Oh, oh, that's it.
She's not there.

No.
Come on.

Come on.

Paul.

It got so late, I didn't
think you were coming.

Ah, well, here I am.

Come on in.

Why don't you take off your
jacket and get comfortable?

Sure.

Have a seat.

Sorry about the mess.

Why don't you sit on the bed?

So, um, how long
have you been teaching?

Oh, not very long.

But I love it.

[Exhales]

Hey, look, I don't know
what kind of student

I'm going to be.

Don't worry.

I've got something here for you
that will make it a lot easier.

Uh, oh, no.

Uh, uh, I didn't realize
what time it is, and you

wanted to get to bed early.

I'll take a bed check--
rain check.

Isaac: Do you guys want
to know what I think?

Not at all.

Not exactly.

Well, I'll tell you
what I think anyway.

I knew you would.

It figures.

I think candidate
crichton is going

to become the first female
captain of the line.

Well, I hope.

So she deserves it.

All right, well,
then why is she taking

the test on the "Princess?"

Because merrill is the
best man to give the exam.

Maybe, maybe.

What are you
getting at, gopher?

Well, if she's going
to become a captain,

it stands to reason
that she's going

to replace some other guy.

Right?

So?

So maybe that's
why she's taking

this test on the "Princess,"
to check the ship out.

You mean you think
that she is going

to replace captain stubing?

I didn't say that.

I didn't say that.

All I said is that it's possible
that while the captain thinks

he's checking Deirdre
out, he, in fact,

is the one that's
being checked out.

Checkmate.

[Stifled laugh]

[Theme music playing]

Judy (over pa):
Attention passengers.

Last call for the
breakfast buffet

now being served on
the starlight deck.

Don't miss out on
the croissants.

Last night you were
gone for three hours.

Then you were too tired
to talk when you got back.

Come on!

What happened in misty's cabin?

I want details, details.

Well, it was better
than I ever expected.

Yeah?

What happened?

You saw how she
was dressed when

she opened the door last night.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

[Clears throat]

So, uh, first she told
me to take off my jacket.

Ooh.

That's a good start.
- Yeah.

[Laughs]

Then, uh, she told
me to sit on the bed.

Bed, I can't stand it.

What happened next?

There's just, uh,
some things you can't

even tell your best friend.

Paul.

Hi, misty.

Here.

You left this in my cabin.

I don't know how you
could have forgotten it.

You were hardly there long
enough to take it off.

Thanks.

I'll see you later.

You ran out on her.

The three hours you
were gone last night

was just to fake me out.

You didn't do anything.

I took off my jacket.

You're going back to
misty's cabin tonight.

And this time,
you're going to stay

there because I'm going to
be out in the passageway

to make sure.

Here we go.

Nice pose.

Pearlies!

[Laughs]

Adios.

You kids have fun.

You kids too.

I think I'll have to have a
long chat with Lillian tonight.

About what?

To convince her that
father should retire so they

can travel around the world.

[Sighs]

Just not going to
give it up, are you?

No.

I have ambition even
if my husband doesn't.

I have ambition.

Waller internationals is
your father's whole life.

He loves what he's doing.

Nancy, why don't you let
your father decide when

it's time for me to take over?

Ok?

Because he will not
retire on his own.

And I'm tired of being the
only one in my graduating class

whose husband hasn't
made it to the top.

Look, I want to
make it to the top.

I'm just not going to step on
your father's back to do it.

You're just afraid to
stand on your own two feet.

Well, I'm standing
on my own two feet.

See?

And I'm walking away.

[Knocking at door]

Sir, you sent for me?

Yes.

I've been preparing my
report on your test.

There was no doubt
in my mind that you

possessed the technical
knowledge and skills

required of a captain.

Thank you.

In fact, I'm very
impressed with the way

you handle my crew.

Establishing authority
without losing friendliness

is a difficult thing to do.

Yet, you seem to be born to it.

That's very flattering, sir.

However-- and this is one of
the most difficult decisions

I've ever had to make.

I can't, in all honesty,
approve you for this post.

I'm sorry, crichton, but i'm
afraid you just don't have

what it takes to be a captain.

Thank you, sir.

May I say, it's
very disappointing?

I know, crichton.

It is to me too.

Dismissed.

Thank you, sir.

Look, man, you just can't
let me down like this.

Look, boomer,
my mind's made up.

I'm not going to go
to bed with misty.

Well, it doesn't
have to be in a bed.

How about a lifeboat?

You know, I can't believe it.

You get a once in a lifetime
present, and you turn it down.

You're bonkers, man.

You're crazy.

You don't understand.

I can't make love to misty.

I like her too much.

I don't understand.

How could the captain
do this to you?

No.

There must be some mistake.

No mistake.

I just failed.

I feel like I've failed myself.

And in a way, I feel
like I've failed you too.

But thank you for all your
support and your friendship.

If you'll excuse me.

It just doesn't
make any sense.

What could captain stubing
have found to fail her on?

I don't know.

I like her.

But I'm glad he's still
going to be our captain.

Look, I understand
how you feel.

But I just hate to see your
dad's money go to waste.

Why don't we tell misty that we
were playing a little joke her,

that I'm really Paul,
and you're really boomer?

Why?

Hey, it's the least
I could do for you.

That way, you're off the
hook, and your dad's happy.

Nah, I don't know, boomer.

Ok, listen, it's
your birthday present.

We'll just tell your dad
that you want to exchange

it for something else.

Ok.

You win, Paul.

[Laughs]

Martin, where have you been?

I haven't seen you
since aerobics's class.

Oh, I, uh--

I had a few things
I had to check out.

You've been
preoccupied all morning.

What is it?

Oh, nothing.

Hey, they didn't give
me big ears for nothing.

I'm a great listener.

Start unloading.

Hm.

You want me to unload?

Ok.

I'm gonna unload.

But [clears throat] I think you
better sit down for this one.

You think you could ever
consider marrying me?

Marry?

You know, you can't get
to be chairman of the board

unless you can make
the right decision.

Martin, you may think
I'm unconventional,

but I'm as old-fashioned
as they come.

What does that mean?

Well, as fond of you
as I am, I don't think

I'll fit in with your family.

Oh, Martin, you're
some terrific guy.

And I may kick
myself later, but i'm

afraid marriage
wouldn't be the smartest

thing in the world for us.

Judy (over pa):
Ladies and gentleman,

welcome to puerto vallarta,
Mexico's paradise by the sea.

It's a balmy degrees, perfect
for parasailing, windsurfing,

or a romantic stroll along
one of the prettiest beaches

in the world.

Bien tiempo.

[Theme music playing]

Hello, Mrs. Sweetland.

Hi.

No puerto vallarta
for you today?

No.

I don't feel much
like sightseeing.

You know, I've taken
a few pictures of you

since you came on board.

And I don't think that
I've captured the real you.

Have I been looking
like this lately?

Well, they say a picture
is worth a thousand words.

Well, my words haven't been
that happy lately either.

Now there's a
trace of a smile.

Can we have a little more?

[Camera clicking]

Great.

[Knocking at door]

Come in.

Hi, merrill.

Hi.

Merrill, um, can we talk
to you off the record?

Well, of course.

We were wondering why
you passed over Deirdre.

She seems to be perfect.

Adam, every woman is
perfect in your eyes.

Dad, do you think a woman can
be as good a captain as a man?

Well, I think that
depends on the woman.

Well, there's a feeling
that you're being unfair.

There's also a feeling
that you passed

over her because she's a woman.

That's not the
reason, is it, sir?

A captain doesn't have
to give his reasons.

But he does have
to make a decision

no matter how unfair or
unpleasant it may seem.

I'm sorry, merrill, but I
don't think that's an answer.

Adam, it may not
be your answer.

It may not be your
father's answer.

But it is the captain's answer.

[Theme music playing]

[Coughs]

[Exhales]

Boomer.

No.

Actually, I'm Paul.

You're Paul?

Let me in, and I'll
tell you all about it.

Hey, Paul.

Hi, gopher.

Hey, guy, what are you doing
all alone on your birthday?

It's a long story.

Somebody I really
could have cared about

turned out to be somebody
I can't care about.

Oh, sorry.

Well, maybe this
will cheer you up.

I forgot to give
it to you earlier.

Sorry.

Happy birthday and all that.

What is it, a
joke from boomer?

A portable computer, all right!

Yeah, your dad brought it down
to the ship the day we sailed.

He said he wanted you to get a
good start on your education.

Trust my dad.

My dad-- this is my surprise?

Yeah.

All right!

Oh, no, boomer.

Misty.

Paul?

Paul!

Come on, misty.

I know what you're here for,
and you know what I'm here for.

What are you talking about?

I love a girl who's frisky.

Paul!

The chase is half the fun.

Stop!

Boomer!

There's been a slight
misunderstanding.

Uh, Paul, can I talk to you
for a minute in private?

Now?

She's crazy about me.

It'll just take a second.

I'll explain later.

What is going on, boomer?

Or is it Paul?

It's Paul.

Well, I'll level with you.

We had this crazy idea
that you were supposed

to be my birthday present.

What?

You mean I was
supposed to be your--

[laughs]

Oh, now that's funny.

Yeah, I guess it
is kind of funny.

Now I know why you ran
out on me last night.

Yeah.

But it, uh-- it wasn't
because I didn't like you.

It's because I do.

I like you too.

Maybe I could still
be your birthday

present when we get to know
each other better, much better.

I think I know a
good way to start.

Do you know a
good way to stop?

Daddy.

Nancy?

I have a confession to make.

And what's that?

I talked you into
this cruise because I

thought I could convince
you to retire and leave

the business to James.

And once I realized that
your involvement with Lillian

might speed up the
process, I, uh--

you pretended to like her.

And I asked her to marry me.

What?

Well, don't worry.

She turned me down.

But I don't want you to
go back to hating her.

[Scoffs] I'm tired of hating.

I had a fight with
James this morning.

I've been so busy running
everybody else's life that I've

made a mess of my own.

Nancy, it takes a
great deal of courage

to own up to your mistakes.

You can tell him I
said, I think it's

time you took over the company.

Oh.

Judy (over pa):
Ladies and gentlemen,

we hope you've enjoyed your
stay in puerto vallarta.

As we set sail for home,
the captain and the crew

would like to wish you
a very pleasant evening.

James, can you forgive me for
the way I've been treating you?

I told my father the
truth about everything.

Why did you do that?

Because I love you.

And I realized I could lose
you with my selfishness.

James, being married to
you is more important than

any material thing I could own.

Do you mean that?

So what did your father
say when you told him?

He was wonderful.

He was very understanding
and very forgiving.

He's quite a man.

Well, you know what they say--

like father, like son-in-law.

Oh.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

I was just telling
Deirdre that I

wish there was something we
could do to help her situation.

Mm.

We know this
doesn't help much.

But at least it lets
you know how we feel.

Yeah, I don't know
what else we can do.

The captain said he's made
a decision, and that's it.

I don't understand that.

You are so qualified
for the job.

Yeah, we all know that.

Thanks.

Thank you very much.

But the Mark of a good
officer is being able to take

orders as well give them.

You may not like them, but
you have to accept them.

Deirdre, the captain wants
to see you in his office

right away.

Thank you, gopher.

Mhm.

What do you think the
captain wants to see her about?

I don't know.

He said something
about bartending.

Just kidding.

Missed you at supper tonight.

Oh, I didn't have
much of an appetite.

Lillian, I feel so foolish.

Here I am, a leader
in the community,

conducting my life
like a -year-old.

Aren't you being a
little hard on yourself?

I love you, Lillian.

Martin, please, don't.

No, wait.

Hear me out.

No woman's given me a taste
of life the way you have.

And now that I've tasted it,
I like it, and I want it all.

I want you to be
my wife, Lillian.

But what about your daughter?

She wants you
to be my wife too.

Well, what can I do?

Two against one.

Merrill: First, I
want to give you this.

It's a copy of the
report about you

that I'm sending
to the cruise line.

Thank you, sir.

And I've enjoyed working
with you and your crew.

The feeling is mutual.

If I may say, sir, I've gone
over every action and decision

that I have made while being
deputy captain of this ship.

And I feel they were correct.

And I also feel that if
I had a second chance,

I would do everything
exactly the same.

I'm sure you would.

Thank you, sir.

Request permission to leave.

One minute, crichton.

I have one last order for you.

I want you to read that report,
last paragraph, out loud,

please.

"In every aspect,
officer crichton

has only displayed the highest
abilities and achievement.

It is my honor to recommend her
for the rank of full captain."

It is my honor to recommend her
for the rank of full captain.

I can't believe this.

It's all true.

But excuse me, sir, why
did you say that I failed?

Well, you passed
every test I gave you.

But there was
still one more test

for you to pass
before I knew you

were ready to become a captain.

I had to see how you
would handle adversity,

rejection, failure,
because a captain

has to deal with that too.

It's a hard test.

But it was the last
test my old captain gave

me before I became a captain.

So congratulations, as
one captain to another.

Thank you, sir.

I run a tight ship
but a warm ship.

Paul: Bye, Isaac.

Isaac: So long.

Did all of you have a good time?

Oh, it was super.

Yeah.

Paul ought to turn
more often.

[Laughter]

You know, gopher told me what
a fantastic present your father

gave you for your birthday.

Was it really a surprise?

Believe me, a computer was
the furthest thing from my mind.

See you later.
Bye-bye.

Ok.

Bye-bye.

Mr. Waller,
there's a rumor going

around that you may retire.

Oh, that's no
rumor, Dr. Bricker.

My company will be in good
hands with James at the helm.

And he'll be in good hands
with you-know-who at the helm.

Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

Bye-bye now.
Thanks for sailing with us.

Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, congratulations, James.

Thank you, ace.

Hey, we really
enjoyed the cruise.

Thanks so much.
- Ah, you're welcome.

- Absolutely, any time.
- Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

How nice.

Thank you, captain,
for everything.

Congratulations
again, captain crichton.

And good luck on
your first ship.

My first ship, mm, I never
thought I'd see the day.

For a while there, we
didn't think we'd see the day.

But it's a great
day for all of us.

I'm proud to be a
part of your promotion.

Good bye.
And thank you again, sir.

[Theme music]