01x11 - A Little Magic

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face-to-face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

EDWARD: I'm coming in
the home stretch now.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

Debbie,
I'm giving you

my coveted
Passenger Of The Month award.

Oh, Edsy, I just love
your little choo-choo.

[CHUCKLES]

But how come
it always runs out of gas

in the same spot?

Oh, you mean
the tunnel?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Aah.

Oh, Kate. Kate, I want you
to meet somebody.

Debbie, this is
my secretary Kate.

Hi.

Debbie's a meter maid, Kate.
She's pretty good, too.

She can tell
within a quarter of an inch

how far your car's
parked from the curb.

That's remarkable.

It's a gift.

Debbie, tell Kate
the story of how we first met.

[GIGGLES]

Oh, I'll never forget it.

He was parked in the red zone.

Yeah?

That's it.

Great story.

Thanks.

You told it so well.

It's a gift.

Debbie, before we
go out to lunch,

I want you to meet
my son Rick.

Oh, golly gee,

I'd love to meet
your little boy,

Edsy Wedsy.

[GIGGLING]

But I left my cart
in a no-parking zone,

and I'd hate to
have to give myself a ticket.

[CACKLES]

Well, I'll tell you what--

you just go
and move your little cart,

and I'll join you
in just a minute, okay?

[SIGHS]

Isn't she something,
Kate?

Yes,
she's really something.

Edward, don't you think

she's a little overcarbonated?

No, Kate.
She's just enthusiastic.

And one thing I like,
it's enthusiasm.

Especially in the tunnel.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah...

it shows.

[CHUCKLES] Kate,
I want you to send Debbie

a dozen roses
at the police station, okay?

[IMITATING DEBBIE] Oh,
I'd be thrilled to, Edsy Wedsy.

Golly gee, do you think
she'd like red ones, huh?

That's great, Kate.
You sound just like her.

It's a gift.

Bye.

[WHIRRING]

[BEEPING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Derek.

Thank you,
Miss Summers.

For what, Derek?

Well, for just being you.

Get out the shovels.

Sure is snowing in here.

Uh, Ricky, I have
a little present for you.

It's that issue
of The Fantastic Four

where The Hulk
meets The Thing.

Oh, thanks, Kate.

This is awesome.

Look at you, Ricky.
What a mess.

Here, let me tuck in
that shirt for you.

There. Yeah.

Oh, and straighten out
that collar.

And you've got a little dirt
on your face.

Oh. Oh.

Bye.

Miss Summers.
Yes?

I think I may have some dirt
on my face, too.

Yes, you do.

Boy, some nerds
have all the luck.

What are you talking about?

Don't you realize
what's going on here?

Kate's got the hots for you.

Derek, I think
your athlete's foot

has finally
spread to your brain.

Come on. I mean,
don't you read Cosmopolitan?

What's happening now

is that older women
are going for younger guys.

Derek, that article

probably means that
they're going for guys

a couple of years
younger than them,

not a couple of decades.

You're so dense.

Here, let me give you
a scientific explanation.

Kate's pushing 30, right?

That means she's going through
the change of life.

What's the change of life?

That's when women
lose all their hormones.

Where do their hormones go?

They dry up.

See, a woman can feel them
drying up,

so they get real desperate
for men.

Kate just wants to have
one last fling

before she has a stroke
or something.

Derek, you're
making all this up.

It's ridiculous.
It's just not true.

And I don't want to hear
any more about it.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi, Leonard.

Hi, Kate. Where's Edward?

I need him to sign
his tax return.

He's out on a date
with some airhead meter maid.

Do I detect
a little jealousy?

Oh, ha ha, of course not.

Why should I be jealous?

If Edward wants to
make a fool of himself

by going out with

some adolescent
brainless bimbo...

Sorry, I guess
I was way off base.

Yes, you were.

Edward's my boss.

A relationship between us
couldn't possibly work.

But you really
care about him, huh?

Yes, I do.

He has a special
childlike quality.

Do you think he's ready for
a mature relationship?

I hope so. Right now,

he's just going through life
enjoying himself,

without
a care in the world.

Why, just this morning,
I had to wipe his face for him.

If I hadn't, he would've
walked right out the door,

totally oblivious.

So why don't you tell him
how you feel?

No. It's
an impossible situation.

Leonard, please,

don't mention this
to anybody.

Don't worry, Kate.
I'll keep your secret.

Oh, thanks, Leonard.

It's good to have somebody
to talk to.

I'm so confused
about this whole thing.

I'm going through
so many changes in my life.

Well, I have to go, Kate.

Oh.

Hope you get what you want.
You deserve it.

Thanks, Leonard.

You were right, Derek.

Kate is in love with me.

Hi, Ricky.

Hi, Kate.

Hi, Phil.

Dad?

Hi, Ricky.

You busy?

No. I just put my tax return
in the totem pole.

What's up, son?

I need some advice.

Hmm.

I know this girl that's totally,
totally in love with me,

but it could never work out.

Ah, another case of
star-crossed lovers, huh?

You know,
like Romeo and Juliet.

Well, how did
Romeo and Juliet handle it?

Well, that's not important, son.

You know what I'd do?
I'd just level with the girl

and be sensitive
to her feelings.

You know
what that's called, son?

Dumping her?

No. That's-That's called
letting her down easy.

Well, whatever you call it,
she'd be crushed.

Well, have you thought about
finding another guy for her?

You mean pawn her off
to someone else?

Yeah.

That's a great idea.

Got anybody in mind?

Yeah.

I just thought of
the perfect guy.

Thanks, Dad.

Hi, Kate.

Hi, Ricky.

Kate, can we have a talk?

Sure.

What's up?

Here.
You may need these.

Oh.

Kate, I just
want to tell you

that I think you're
a very pretty lady.

You're very smart, and
you're a real snappy dresser.

Well, so far,
I don't need these.

Kate, I overheard you

talking to Leonard
earlier today.

Oh, then you heard--
Yes.

Yes, I heard that
you're crazy in love with me.

What?

But it can never
work out, Kate.

Ricky, let me explain--

Listen,
it's not your fault.

I heard about this fad

with older women
chasing younger men.

I just don't go for this
new morality stuff.

What can I say?
I'm an old-fashioned guy.

[STIFLES LAUGHTER]

Oh, cry, cry.
Let all the pain out.

But please, please
do not blame yourself.

I mean,
it's not your fault.

We see each other
every day.

It's inevitable
that you'd fall for

The Ricker.

[COUGHING]

I understand
you're drying up.

I realize
how you must feel,

being all alone
at your age.

You need somebody
you can talk to,

somebody you can trust.

Somebody your own height.

Uh...

Gee, uh,

Ricky, this is
pretty hard news to take.

No. No, Kate.
Don't do anything foolish!

Look...

Look, I love you,

but I'm not in love with you.

Please don't hate me, Kate.

Oh, I could never hate

The Ricker.

I'll, uh, I'll try to
get over you somehow.

Thanks for being
so gentle with me.

Sure.

And just to show
that we're still friends,

why don't you
come over tonight?

We'll all have
a special dinner.

So wear
your prettiest dress, okay?

Oh... okay.

Oh.

No.

Ricky, do you mind
explaining all this?

Just have a seat, Dad. I'll be
right down.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Kate.

Kate.

Hello, Edward.

Kate, you look beautiful.

Oh.

Gorgeous.

Incredible.

Thank you, Edward.

You look very handsome
in your suit

and napkin.

Hah.

I've-I've, uh,

I've never seen you
in a suit before.

Oh, well, I haven't worn this
since college.

The only reason I wore it then
was I had a magic act.

I was pretty good, too.

I could make
the whole audience disappear.

Kate, why are you
so incredibly here?

Well, Ricky said that...

Good evening, sir, madam.

Ricky, what's going on?

Welcome to

Rick's.

Ah, yes, yes, yes.
A table just opened up.

This way, please.

My,

what a lovely restaurant.

Thank you, madam.

Careful. Don't trip over
the train tracks.

Oh.

Thank you.

Your waiter
will be with you in a moment.

[FRENCH ACCENT] Good evening.
I'm your waiter--Richard.

Listen, waiter,
could you get the maitre d'?

I'd like a different table.

Dad.

[CACKLES]

I'm sorry.
I couldn't resist.

Okay, waiter. Ahem.
What do you recommend?

The chateaubriand for two
is magnifique.

Well, I prefer seafood.

Dad.

You know, Kate,

I have a sudden yen
for chateaubriand.

Me too.

Very good choice.

For you, mademoiselle.

For you, monsieur.

I will be right back
with your sal-ads.

"To the most beautiful woman
in the world.

Love, Edward."

"To the most handsome man
in the world."

"Love, Kate."

Kate, do you get the feeling

that Ricky's trying to
get us together?

[VIOLIN PLAYING "FASCINATION"]

Nah.

Kate.

Yes, Edward.

Have I told you that
you look incredible tonight?

Yes, you have.

Well, then
I'll tell you now.

You look incredible tonight.

Thank you, Edward.

You look very handsome, too.

[PLAYS NEW TUNE]

Ha ha.

Hello. What's this?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING
ON VIOLIN]

There's a...

There's a bird
in my shorts.

But don't be alarmed.

It's only Herbie...

The Wonder Dove!

Fly away, Herbie.

[PLAYS SLIDING NOTE]

Edward.

Don't be alarmed. Kate.

Herbie's not real.
He's rubber.

[CONTINUES WITH "FASCINATION"]

Herbie,
the rubber dove.

Oh, Edward,
you're a very unusual man.

Certifiable.

Well, I was gonna do my act
later on for Ricky, but...

turns out that you brought out
the magic in me.

Oh, thank you, Edward.

♪ That old black magic ♪

♪ Has me in its spell ♪

♪ That old black magic ♪

♪ That you weave so well ♪

Do you mind?

[CONTINUES "FASCINATION"]

Kate, you know one of the things
I like about you?

You see the way I live
and you see the things I do,

but you never
put me down for it.

Oh. Well,
there are a lot of people

who live
strictly by the book, but...

you have the courage
to do things your own way.

I admire that.

Well, there's-
there's lots of things

I admire about you.

[GUSHES]

You're intelligent,

kind,

caring,

thoughtful.

Too bad there's
nobody like you available.

What do you mean?

Well, Kate, when you came
to work for me,

you told me
how your last employer

made a pass at you,
and you made it very clear

that you never
wanted that to happen again.

You're right,
I did say those things.

Well, then I-then I respect
your feelings, Kate,

and I agree with you.

It would be unwise for us
to let romance

intrude on
our professional relationship.

Ah.

Absolutely.

It would be
an unnecessary complication

in our lives.

Well, then we're agreed.

We absolutely,
positively cannot...

get involved.

Yeah.

We can't.

We won't.

It would be...

unprofessional.

And untenable.

And...

unworkable.

And unacceptable.

And...

unthinkable.

And...

And...

Unbelievable.

Edward, that must never
happen again.

Never.

Ever.

Again.

Ohh.

Isn't this great?

[SOBS] Yeah.

Boy, I'm good.

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪