04x01 - Mrs. Daisy Hogg

[bunniefuu]

There ain't no way a Hogg

would be attracted to a Duke.

Daisy and I are gettin' married.

What?

Daisy Duke is marryin' a Hogg.

Ooh!

- I'm not givin' her up.
- Oh!

Oh!

I just can't stop seein' him.

Somebody done
scuffed my vehicle!

Think thin.

'Yee-haw!'

It all started out
to be one of them

peaceful Hazzard mornings.

Guess it was a
mite too peaceful.

He's nuts.

Now, friends, it was
only a door banger.

But it sure was about to
churn things up for the Dukes.

Especially, Daisy.

Where in the heck did you learn
to drive? Correspondence school?

Hey, what's the big idea
not yieldin', you country hick?

'I hit the intersection first.'

We got the right of way.

- You're supposed to stop.
- Oh, horse taters!

Now, frankly, I didn't
see what happened.

I was readin' these
financial reports.

That's just great.
Who the heck are you?

The name is Jamie Lee Hogg.

Jamie Lee Hogg. That's fine.
You're hoggin' a dang road.

Couldn't be any
relation to J.D.?

His nephew from Atlanta.

'Yous the ones
hoggin' the road.'

You're gonna cough
up for the damages.

You're wrong. We ain't gonna
pay you one blame nickel.

Look, you 'caused that accident.

'You're lyin' through
your teeth, boy.'

How'd you like to lose
yours, boy? Come on!

Alright. Hold it!

Just freeze it right
there, you Duke boys.

Now, what's goin' on here?

Nothing's goin' on. These
two dang near k*lled us.

I hit the intersection
first, sheriff.

These fellas didn't
yield the right of way.

I-I call that reckless
drivin' if ever I seen it.

You is just lyin' through
your teeth, ain't ya?

- You're askin' for it.
- Give it to me. Come on!

Wait just a minute here.
I'm the sheriff around here.

Don't you see this badge
here? It's says sheriff. S-H-E...

Excuse me, sheriff. There
seems to be some difference of...

Hush! I'm not
through yet, R-I-F...

The name's Jamie Lee Hogg.

Well, I don't care if
your name is... Hogg?

'Jamie Lee Hogg?'

You mean to tell
me you're that rich

and fabulous, wealthy
nephew of Boss Hogg?

- The same.
- Oh, welcome to Hazzard County.

Well, there's no doubt about
who's guilty and who's not.

- Now, hold on...
- Alright, come on, you two.

See you later.

Well, now that door banger
was just the beginning.

Things went downhill from there.

Old Boss was as happy
as a hog eatin' slop

with this unexpected
visit from his kin.

Especially with the present
that his nephew was bringin'

jailin' charges
against the Duke boys.

Jamie Lee Hogg! Jamie Lee Hogg!

My own baby
brother's boy. Oh, my!

Welcome to Hazzard.
What a surprise!

I heard you had a little
trouble coming into town.

Well, anyhow, it sure
is good to see you.

A real Hogg! Tall,
handsome, charmin'...

- Full of beans.
- Will you hush?

That ain't no way to talk
about Boss's favorite nephew.

Boss, I caught 'em
fightin' like the third monkey

on the gangplank of Noah's Ark.

Alright, Rosco. Just
take 'em off to the pokey.

'Then you impound that dangerous
orange clunker car of theirs'

until they pay every
penny of the damages

they've done with
their reckless drivin'.

- Wait, impound the General Lee?
- You can't do that.

Just hold it, hold it, hold it.
What's goin' on here, J.D.?

Oh, Uncle Jesse,
he's tryin' to railroad us.

We had some sort of accident
that weren't no accident.

'That's a load of horse feed.'

This here's my fine outstanding
nephew, Jamie Lee Hogg.

He says you did it. If he
says you did it, you done it.

I say if he's a Hogg, his
word don't mean diddly squat.

From that fire in your
eyes, you must be a Duke.

Daisy Duke's the name,
and you can just back off

from my cousins, 'cause
they didn't do anything to you.

Alright, alright, enough
of this procrastinating.

- Rosco, lock 'em up.
- Right.

Now, just hold
it right there, J.D.

You're gangin' up on my
nephews and I ain't gonna allow it.

Oh, no? Well, let me tell you,
if we're gangin' up on anybody

it's because you Dukes are
a bunch of no-good, worthless

law-breakin' scallywags.

You can't talk to my
Uncle Jesse like that.

- Oh, I can't, can't I?
- No!

And when it comes to lyin',
and cheatin', and thievin'

you Hoggs is the
worst skunks there is.

Whoa! Wait a minute.
Maybe we could...

Why don't you
just shut your snoot

and put it back in your trough?

'You see that? That's how
she talks because she's a Duke.'

Jesse, take that niece of yours
and put her over your knee.

Make sure they
don't start no riot.

- Get him off of the street.
- I don't wanna hear anymore!

'Oh-oh, they're gettin'
away, they're gettin' away!'

Cletus, where, where?

Freeze!

Freeze!

There, you see, you
see? There's your proof.

Now, who's breakin' the law now?

Them precious nephews of
yours are escapin' custody.

That's because you and
your nephew forced 'em into it.

- Oh!
- Ow! Oh, Daisy, Daisy..

Oh, Uncle Jesse.
This is all your doin'.

Oh, don't listen to her.
Come on, Jamie Lee.

Let's go inside.

Why, with these Dukes
about, the air around here

sure is gettin' awful
polluted, come on.

- I'm sorry...
- Hush. Just hush.

I said come on, will you?

And Cooter, you just fix
up my nephew's car, pronto.

And hold the bill
for them Duke boys.

Alright.

Come on, Jamie Lee. Come on.

Just what we need.
Another Hogg in Hazzard.

Yee-haw!

'You caught me right in the
middle of my morning snack.'

- Oh.
- You care to join me?

I'm havin' belly burgers
smothered in greens.

No, thank you.
You go right ahead.

I will, but you don't
know what you're missin'.

Uncle, did you have to be
so rough on those Dukes?

Don't mention that
name while I'm eating.

What do you mean rough, anyhow?

Oh, out there. Yeah.

Well, nephew,
you just don't know

what goes on in
these here small towns.

And speakin' of small towns

what you doin' here
from the big city, anyhow?

I thought maybe my
favorite uncle and I

might do a little business.

Business, huh?
Well, maybe I will.

What kinda business did
you have in mind, nephew?

Now, you know that broken
down old Hogg Grits Mill?

That old grits mill, I know it.

The one you've been
losing so much money on.

Who said?

I thought I'd take
that off your hands.

Well, if it is losin' so
much money, and mind you

I ain't sayin'
it is, or it ain't

how come you are so
interested in it anyhow?

Oh, I was just gonna
use it as a... tax loss.

'Oh, a tax loss, huh?'

I am willin' to pay... cash.

Friends, cash is the one
word that rings old Boss's bell.

So the Hoggs started
dealin', and the Dukes, well..

Did you ever try to run
a race in country traffic?

'Come on, truck.'

- Luke, you have to go around.
- I can't. I'm boxed in.

Alright, you Dukes.
Pull in over there.

I'm serious this
time. I got you.

Hey, Rosco, look out!

No, you're not foolin'
me. I don't... aah!

Ooh!

Alright, we'd better
go find Jamie Lee

and that lyin' driver of his.

Meanwhile, back in town

Jamie Lee was headin'
for the local hotel.

And who should
he run into, but..

I'm afraid to think of
what I think is coming.

You've got your cotton pickin'
nerve, Mr. Jamie Lee Hogg.

Comin' into our town
and makin' trouble.

I'm tellin' you, my
cousins never lie.

If they say that
accident wasn't their fault

you can bet your
silly grin it wasn't!

I'm sorry you're so
upset, Miss Duke...

Well, why shouldn't I be?

On account of you, my
blood cousins, Bo and Luke

are runnin' from justice.

Hoggjustice.

You say Hogg as
if it's a dirty word.

As far as us Dukes
are concerned, it is.

I'd like to do something
to change that image.

I'll drop all the
charges against your...

Oh, sure, just drop
all the charges..?

Of course, with an outstanding
character reference like you

why, Bo and Luke
must be telling the truth.

- You ain't jivin' me.
- Certainly not.

I owe you and your
family an apology for all

the heartache I've caused.

That silver-tongued snake.

Car's all fixed, Jamie Lee.

There's a call coming in for ya.

Excuse me, Ms. Duke.

Oh, Daisy, don't
you be thinking that.

It's the boss calling
from Savannah.

- 'Hey, Roy.'
- Is it a go?

Sure is. I made a
deal on that grits mill.

Great. Get everything rolling.
Make sure nothing goes wrong.

There's millions in this
for us. Keep in touch.

Put that away, Floyd.

Oh.

And about that
accident, we're coolin' it.

I knew that boy was
nothing but low rent.

I'm sorry we were interrupted.

Is there some place
we can go and talk?

Well, there's the Boar's Nest.

Well, shall we, Ms. Duke?

- Daisy.
- Daisy.

Okay, Jamie Lee.

I knew he'd get her in the car.

Thank you.

Well, the boys
had lost old Rosco

but their trouble part
was just a bargain.

Ain't that there
Jamie Lee's car?

- Sure is.
- Let's get 'em.

Jamie Lee, pull over.

Careful!

Danged if Daisy ain't
fallin' for old silver tongue.

And the Duke boys
are just fallin'. sh**t.

- Those are my cousins.
- Hey, they hit me.

Alright, jerks, now
you're really asking for it..

Daisy, what are you
doing with these two guys?

- Jamie Lee dropped all charges.
- He did what?

He dropped all the charges.
You boys are in the clear.

- What was all this back here?
- Sorry about that.

You fellas sure
took me by surprise.

I'm sorry too.

'Chalk the whole thing up
to one big misunderstanding.'

'Isn't it somethin'?'

Jamie Lee sure isn't what
he appeared to be, huh?

Just hold it right
there, you Duke boys.

I got ya this time. You're
not gonna get away.

I'm gonna cuff you and stuff ya.

Put the g*n away, sheriff.
No need to arrest them.

- Are you kiddin' me?
- I'm droppin' the charges.

You're a Hogg, aren't you?
Hogg don't do good for nobody.

Well, this one does.
We'll see you later, huh?

See you, fellas.

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!

I was about to say the
same thing. More or less.

What?

What'd you say?

Come on, repeat that.

I said Jamie Lee dropped
the charges on the Duke boys.

- Yeah, he dropped the charges.
- Mm-hmm.

Now, that's bad enough,
but no, repeat that other part.

Well, it appears to me
like Jamie Lee Hogg

is sweet on Daisy Duke.

Well, it appears to me you
don't know sweet from sour.

- No?
- No!

What you say is absolutely,
positively, dang impossible!

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

There ain't no way a Hogg
would be attracted to a Duke.

- Ooh.
- Huh!

I've seen it, but
ain't believin' it.

Don't see how a self-respecting
Duke can like a Hogg.

There ain't no way.

Absolutely ain't no way.

Maybe, just maybe, mind ya

this Jamie Lee might
be a different kinda Hogg.

He dropped the
charges and apologized.

Daisy likes him. He
might be an alright fella.

An alright fella, my shovel.

Scratch any Hogg deep
enough, you're bound

to find something rotten.

True. Sad, but true.

Well, old Bo was right.

Jamie Lee is really
making money.

And I mean making money.

- Jamie!
- Daisy!

Boy, that fella
sure do work fast.

Now, I don't know about y'all..

But I'm sure gettin'
a sinkin' feelin'.

Nice little spot I wanna
show you up here.

Jamie.

Oh, I can't believe
this is happening.

How am I gonna catch all the
butterflies you make me feel?

You're really something special.

Jamie Lee Hogg,
if what I hear is true

there's something I gotta
tell you and lay down the law.

You're my baby brother's
boy, and he ain't here to tell you.

So I'm gonna have to be
your daddy in his place.

And I'm gonna have
to insist that you stop

runnin' around with Daisy Duke.

I'm gonna have to insist
that you cease and desist

from having any contact
whatsoever with that female.

I mean, just being seen with
her is ruinin' our family image.

Well, I'm sorry you feel
that way, Uncle Jefferson.

Daisy's a fine girl, and
I'm not giving her up.

- Yeah, but-but...
- Now, if you'll excuse me, sir.

Jamie Lee, now listen..

What? Wait a minute
here. I ain't finished.

- Ohh! Did you hear that?
- I know it.

Did you hear that? I mean,
my own flesh and blood.

My very image.

And he wants to
socialize with them Dukes.

Oh, it's enough to give my
Hogg blood a conniption.

Uh, listen, Boss, if you
don't mind me saying so

you know that Jamie Lee
ain't exactly like your image.

- Hmm?
- No.

I mean, he's got
a full set of hair

and he ain't got your
beady brown eyes.

And your fat
chubby little cheeks.

And your little..

Listen, listen here.

I got to tell ya something,
and I don't know how to say it..

Well, don't beat
around the bush.

Go on, say it.

Well, it's hard.

He's nice.

I knew it! I knew it! And
that's what worries me!

Ohh!

And meanwhile,
over at the Duke farm

well, there's more
of the same going on.

Daisy, ever since you
started seeing fellas

there ain't never been one
that I asked you to stop seeing.

Well, I just don't think this
Jamie Lee fella is right for ya.

Jamie Lee is the
kindest, sweetest

gentlest, smartest

best thing that ever
happened to me.

I'm sorry, Uncle Jesse. I
just can't stop seein' him.

I hurt her bad.

- Maybe we're wrong.
- Maybe we're right.

We gotta check
out this Jamie Lee.

Settle this once and for all.

Well..

Don't let her know
what you're doin'.

I don't want to hurt her any
worse than I already have.

Don't worry.

And so, for openers

Luke called a newspaper
pal of his in Atlanta

and started digging.

Okay, thanks a lot, Scoop.

Bo says hey. Give our
best to the kids. Adios.

For some rich, successful,
hotshot who made a fortune

in the market, ain't nobody in
Atlanta heard of Jamie Lee Hogg.

Scoop says he checked the
news desk, the business editors

society editor,
nobody's heard a thing.

We don't know what the
heck he's doing in Hazzard.

Especially don't know why
he bought that old grits mill.

Well, it's next on the list.

- Get in.
- Alright.

Get these boxes
unloaded. Hurry it up.

Don't you know any
speed but too fast?

You got a lot of room to talk.

I'll see you later, honey.

- Mm.
- Bye.

Bye.

I ain't never seen Daisy
this far gone on a fella.

And it would have to
be with a dang Hogg.

'He better watch himself.'

One step out of line,
he'll have to answer me.

He steps outta line, he's gonna
have to answer to both of us.

Come on.

Bo, get down.

I can tell y'all one thing,
old Boss is gonna be upset.

He ain't gonna mind Jamie
Lee doing a bit of counterfeiting

but Boss sure don't want
Jamie working for no Yankee.

A rough looking customer.

Let's get down there, see
if we can't get a better look.

Watch yourself.

'Have you been working hard?'

Well, let's take a look around.

'Hey, Luke, look at this.'

It says here that
this car is registered

to the Dixie Praline
Company in Savannah.

Hey, look at these here bottles.

- What you got? Shine?
- Not unless it's green shine.

Looks like some
sort of printer's ink.

'...in the back of
that car. Hurry up.'

Come on, come on.

That grits mill was beginning
to look like a camp meet

with everybody showin' up.

- Hey, Boss...
- Just shush!

Just shush-shush!

Boss, what the heck are
we doing here anyway?

Well, I wanna check up
on my nephew, Jamie Lee.

Jamie Lee's not acting
like a Hogg, is he?

He acts like he's gone
plumb out of his mind.

- You think his brain's warped?
- It could be.

That's why I wanna
take a gander.

See what he's got goin'
on at this old grits mill.

And I'm praying for his sake
it ain't nothin' above board.

Well, let's go take a look-see.

Just be quiet.
Don't make a sound.

I won't make a sound.

Oooh!

'Rosco! Come on.'

Pretty hard to believe..

The Duke boys! Wait a minute!

What are you two doing here?
Little snipe huntin' or what?

- Rosco, arrest them.
- You're right.

You're under arrest.

- What am I arresting them for?
- I was about to ask that.

For trespassing on private
property, that's what's for.

Boss, you've gotta
be out of your mind.

No, he ain't out of his mind.

Now, I'm gonna show that
goody two-shoes nephew of mine

that all you Dukes
belong in the hoosegow!

- Alright, put out your hands.
- Him first.

Yeah, what about my feet?

No, Rosco! Ooh!

- Ooh!
- Rosco, you mud hole!

Look what you... you
slapped them cuffs on me.

I didn't know they'd fit
on your pudgy little wrist.

That's 'cause you didn't
use your pudgy little brain.

Get me out of this, will ya,
before them Duke boys escape.

- Bad news, bad news.
- Huh?

- The keys are in the car.
- Well, come on, help me.

Ooh!

Here, you little
fat bunny rabbit.

Alright, let's go.

Good thing we made a getaway.

We ain't gonna do Daisy
no good behind bars.

Well, how about that?

They're shippin'
out that funny money

all over the country
in cases of grits.

That just goes to show you
how much grits is catching on.

Jamie! Jamie Lee!

That's Hogg's sweetie pie.

Quick, pass everything.

I'll be right with you, honey.

'Jamie Lee!'

- Hi, baby!
- I miss you too, honey..

You left your
wallet in the jeep.

I told you, sugar, you're making
me do some strange things.

- Yeah?
- Thanks.

Hey..

Jamie!

What you got here?
Three hundred dollars?

Ah, yes, we were just
checking through the petty cash.

- Yeah?
- Thanks again, honey.

- Bye, Floyd.
- Bye, Ms. Daisy.

You're startin' to
pick up after me now.

I'm even starting to like it.

I'll-I'll let you get back
to your work. Bye.

Bye-bye.

That chick saw these hot bills.

But she couldn't
tell they were phony.

Well, how do we know?

No telling what else
she's seen or heard.

We got a perfect setup, and
you gotta start playing around.

- Now, look, Mr. Land...
- No, you look!

All my life I've been
searching for a deal like this

and I ain't lettin' it
go down the drain.

- You'll have to put her away.
- I can't.

I've fallen in love with her.

Look, pretty boy. I got
millions riding on this.

You do something
about her... or I will.

Bo..

If any of y'all ever
drive through Hazzard

well, you might remember
that if it's got wheels

folks tend to wanna race it.

Do something. Think thin.

Phew! Uh, hey!

Sometimes things just work out.

Look at that. Look at that.

And sometimes they doesn't.

'Nothin' hurt but your
pride, looks like. Let's go.'

'Bo, you better get us
over to a payphone.'

'Check out that registration.'

Come back here!

Here, take my g*n. Move it.

Wait a minute, Mr. Landry.

If you're worried
about Daisy talkin'..

I have another way
of shuttin' her up.

- Sure you have.
- I don't have to k*ll her.

- I could marry her.
- He's flippin' out.

If she's my wife, she can't
legally testify against me.

That's the law in all states.

- No way she'd blow the whistle.
- I know the law.

But I don't get it. You'd
really marry this chick?

I sure would. I love her.

Meanwhile, like everybody says

the buttermilk's
getting thicker.

And the Duke boys
were puttin' in a call

to Savannah information.

Operator, I'd like the number
for the Dixie Praline Company.

'Yeah, that's it.'

What's that? You got no
number for them? You sure now?

Hold on a minute. I just asked.

Alright, thanks a
lot, much obliged.

A phony registration.
That figures.

Yeah. It means the
driver's probably phony too.

With Jamie Lee mixed
up with somebody like that

you can bet there's
trouble brewing somewhere.

Much as I hate this, looks like
you and me got to talk to Daisy.

- Come on.
- My name first, huh?

- Then you do it.
- Me do it?

- Come on.
- Hey, you're older.

- Not much.
- Enough.

Uh-oh, I been a-dreadin' this.

Marry you?

You'd make me the happiest
man in the entire state of Georgia.

Jamie, what are our
families gonna say?

Doesn't matter if we
get married right away.

It matters to me.

I'll tell you what, darling.

We'll have a get-together,
make the announcement.

When they see how
much in love we are

they couldn't possibly object.

- Say yes.
- Mrs. Daisy Hogg?

That's gonna take
some gettin' used too.

But I like the sound
of it already. I accept.

Friends, that comes on like
a mouth full of root canals.

I got a premonition and
I ain't too happy about it.

And so Daisy and Jamie Lee
each invited everybody to a meeting

for an important announcement.

Daisy and I are gettin' married!

There's nothing like a
wedding to draw folks together.

Married? Married! Over
my dead body you are!

Daisy, marriage is a
very serious thing now.

Jamie Lee Hogg, you ain't
getting yourself hitched up

to no no-account Duke.

What do you mean no-account
Duke, you over swilled Hogg?

You calm down, Uncle Jefferson.

Calm down? When I'm
facing a family disgrace?

I can hear ten generations of
Hoggs spinning in their graves.

- Spinnin'.
- Spinning at the trough.

Wait a minute, Jesse Duke.

Don't talk to me like
that. No siree, Bob!

I don't want to hear language
like that in Boar's Nest.

Dang fuel pump! Every time we
wanna get somewheres in a hurry.

Well, if you didn't take
so dang long to fix it.

- Maybe we'd get there.
- You could've helped me.

Hope we're in time to stop Daisy
from doing something foolish.

I'd help you if I knew about
mechanics, all I do is drive.

'One, Jesse Duke, you hush up!'

Two, I'm telling you, Jamie Lee

you can put this marriage
right out of your mind.

Daisy, you just can't go
jumping into this thing.

I know, Uncle Jesse.
We love each other.

Oh, speak for yourself. Ain't
no way a Hogg can love a Duke.

- Now, wait a minute...
- You hush up, you hear me?

We are too late.

Daisy, hold on a minute.

We gotta talk to you.

Good news, good
news, those Dukes.

Alright, you Dukes,
you're under arrest.

- And this time I'm gonna...
- Forget it.

Forget it. Forget it?

- You say forget it?
- Yeah, forget it.

- 'They trespassed illegally.'
- 'Oh, that's small potatoes.'

Right now, I'm facing
a real catastrophe.

Uncle Jefferson, Mr. Duke.

'Daisy and I truly
wanna be married.'

'We'd love to do it
with your blessin'.'

Yes, please, Uncle Jesse.

Uh-uh, absolutely not.

'But Uncle Jefferson... '

Boy, I got to talk to you.

You listen to me
and you listen good.

We don't mean to give
you no advice about nothin'.

Some things about this Jamie
Lee that we can't pin down.

Listen to the boys now, Daisy.

They're only saying
it for your own good.

Please, all of you.

For the first time in
my life I'm really in love.

Now, you can't hold
me back. Bird's gotta fly.

'Oh, I heard that.'

Well, you can fly all you want.

Only you ain't makin'
no nest with no Hogg.

I'm sorry, Uncle Jefferson,
I don't care what you say

I'm marrying Daisy.

And I'm sorry too.

I know y'all are just condemning
Jamie Lee cause of his name.

But it don't matter to
me, I'm gonna be a Hogg.

I'm gonna be Mrs. Daisy Hogg.

I can't stand it! I can't stand
the sound of that name!

- Rosco.
- I know.

Little fat buddy, I know. It
even gives me a quease.

Yes, sir. Oh, what a mess.

Well, so I'll tell
you one thing.

Folks hadn't been this shook up

since they heard Sherman
was marching on Hazzard.

Did you hear? A
Duke's marrying a Hogg!

'A Duke's marrying a Hogg..'

Hey, Duke's marrying a Hogg!

Hey, Tim, you hear the news?
Daisy Duke is marrying a Hogg.

Aah!

Tim, you alright?

Yeah, yeah, I'm alright.

Now, some folks
sure took it hard.

- Rosco.
- What?

Do you realize that if Daisy
Duke and Jamie Lee Hogg

get married... them Duke
boys will be my Hogg-in-laws?

Oh..

And who am I gonna chase?
You know, I can't arrest relatives.

Yeah, I've always
made that my prime rule.

And being relatives,
they'd be entitled to a cut

of your cut of the take.

That little, huh?

Can you imagine me looking
over the Thanksgivin' table

and seein' Dukes on the
other side of the turkey

stuffing, cranberry
sauce, candied yams

giblet gravy, pumpkin
pie, and ice cream?

Be enough to make
me lose my appetite.

It makes me hungry.

Little fat buddy, you just go
ahead and cry. Get it all out.

Listen, there ain't no shame
in that. Here, use my hanky.

You go ahead.

Uh! Aah!

Meanwhile, Bo and Luke
were still trying to find out

the truth about Jamie Lee.

And Luke suddenly
remembered about that green ink

that he saw at the grits mill.

Mr. Pruitt!

- Oh, howdy, boys.
- How you doing?

Luke and me's got a question.

What would somebody
want green printer's ink for?

Now, just what kind of green
printer's ink you talking about?

I got a good look at the bottle.

It was, uh, medium
fine, shade C.

That's the type usually
used for fine detailed printin'

or artwork, or designin'.

Or if you're the US
mint, for printin' money.

- Printin' money?
- Yes.

I've been of any help to you?

- Yes, sir.
- A lot of help.

- Much obliged.
- Thank you, Mr. Pruitt.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

You bet. Old grits mill, green
ink and that buddy of his.

Printin' money..

He's up to some
counterfeitin', sounds like to me.

- Let's go.
- Let's do it.

Now, believe me, love.

The way our families
are carryin' on

we got no choice but to go
across the border to Greenville.

Let the justice of
the peace marry us.

- You mean elope?
- Yeah.

Jamie, I..

My Uncle Jesse and the
boys... I can't do that to them.

- I do have to think it over.
- That's alright, honey.

I got to go back to the mill.
Meet me there at about : ?

And I hope you
think it over my way.

'Okay, get it up there now.'

'Come on, we gotta get
this shipping on the road.'

'Come on, get that
box over in the corner.'

'Alright, tie it down right.'

'You guys are
slower than asses.'

'Let's go. Come on.'

- Come on.
- Alright.

Hey, look, there's some more
of them little green bottles.

Looks like they're
packing grits alright.

Maybe they're puttin' a
prize in each package too.

'Hard to see exactly what's
goin' on, but somethin' is.'

You know, I used to have
a teacher that did that.

Hey, look out, Luke!

Hold it!

'Okay, get 'em up, you two.'

Bo and Luke Duke,
what are you doing here?

I caught 'em snooping
around, that's what.

Snooping? We's from the
bride's side of the family.

We stopped by to get
grits for the ceremony.

Because we heard that y'alls
grits were the best in Hazzard.

You and your big
fat ideas. I told you.

You should've
knocked off that chick.

What are you talking about?

Jamie Lee, what'd
you get our cousin into?

I'm sorry, fellas, I never
intended to get her involved...

Oh, can the soap opera, Hogg.

Tie and gag those two rubes.

'Let's start packin'.
We're moving out fast.'

Daisy's meeting me here at : .

Good. That's the first
good thing you've done.

We're taking her with us.

Wait. You can't do that. What
kinda snake are you anyway?

- Tie them up fast or I will.
- You shut up, cowboy.

Alright now..

Move, lover boy, let's go.

Well, it sure looks like Daisy's
done made her decision.

For my money,
it's the wrong one.

Now, Boss had Cletus
staking out the farm.

He figured 'em two
lovers might try to elope.

Cletus called Boss,
who called Jesse.

Nothing makes enemies work
together like mutual adversity.

That right, Jesse.
That's right. They eloped.

'We don't ever agree
on nothing nohow.'

- You can say that again.
- We gotta band together now.

We must stop this horrible
event from occurring.

'Right you are,
J.D. Right you are.'

I'll meet you at the
junction. I'm on my way.

Elope? I can't imagine.

Daisy elopin'? No
way. That can't be.

Okay, we're about ready to roll.

Hi, honey.

- Guess what my answer is.
- Yeah.

Yes!

Now, look, honey, I gotta
make an emergency delivery.

But I'll be right back.

- Emergency delivery of grits?
- Enough of this jiving, Hogg.

- You're coming with us.
- Jamie Lee, what's going on?

- Why has he got a g*n?
- You'll soon find out, sugar.

Mr. Landry, leave
her out of this.

Are you kiddin'?

She's gonna guarantee a
safe passage out of here.

Into the car, both of you.

Come here..

Come on. Let us see
what's going on down there.

Looks like they're havin' one
of 'em old shotgun weddings

but he's usin' a p*stol.

You keep your hands off of her!

Jamie!

- What's he doing to Jamie Lee?
- And my Daisy.

Move!

We gotta get down there
and stop 'em. Come on.

Come on! Come
on, let's go. Come on.

Yeah, alright, move it!

Get in, get in. I gotta
get this thing started.

'Come on now.
Alright, let them go first.'

'You go first there.
Here, I'm goin'.'

Now, alright, here we go..

- Hey, Roscoe.
- 'What?'

Wait for me.

And wait for me.

- Wait for me too.
- Cletus!

Go! Go!

'Don't let it stop ya.
Keep moving, that's it.'

'We got 'em, sheriff!'

Oh, dang!

Kinda like you quiet.

Uh, thanks a lot.

Uh!

- They've got Daisy.
- We gotta catch 'em.

- Come on. Let's get outta here.
- Right.

Hey, Roscoe, you lose 'em

and I'll have your
badge, you hear me?

Now, come on, come on!

Better get a move on it
if we're gonna catch 'em.

Uncle Jesse's with 'em.

They all look alright,
though. We can't stop. Go on.

Wise up, sugar.

He was only marrying
you to shut you up.

You think I was
dumb enough to fall for

all of that phony
stuff about loving me?

I do love you, and
I meant what I said.

Landry, let her go, and
she'll promise not to talk.

I ain't promising no such thing.

- Open her up, Floyd.
- You got it.

Give him a little
business of our own.

'Gotcha.'

Alright!

- That's one down.
- Yeah!

- 'Let's go get number two.'
- 'You got it.'

Can't you go a
little faster, Rosco?

Ah, would you get that
mutt away from me?

- Flash, behave yourself.
- Sheriff!

Oh, somebody done
scuffed my vehicle.

Look, sheriff, now
you got air conditioning.

I'd like to air condition
your head, you dipstick.

Will you two just stop..

- Yeah!
- And there's two.

- Let's go get Daisy.
- Alright.

Done scuffed
this thing to a nub.

Pay attention to the road.

Honey, please,
let me handle this.

Don't honey me, you phony!

I ain't goin' with
you no place, nohow.

- Stop the car. I'm gettin' out.
- Forget it, honey.

You sit back nice and peaceful,
or I'll waste you right here.

Better slow down and
give Daisy a fighting chance.

Looks like some sort
of ruckus up ahead.

- Okay, you askin' for it.
- No, Landry, don't!

You stay out of this,
or you gonna get it too.

- Hang on to that.
- You be real careful.

- This one counts.
- Got it.

- Hold it steady, Bo.
- 'Gotcha.'

Daisy, no!

Who you reckon's gonna
end up with that g*n?

Don't worry, she'll be alright.

I hope so.

All of y'all, I mean
it. Stay right there.

Well, alright!

- You alright, Daisy?
- Yeah, I'm alright.

I didn't get married,
but I'm alright.

Well, there you have it, folks.

The counterfeiting
ring was finally broken.

But so was Daisy's heart.

Bye, Jamie.

Bye-bye, Daisy.

I sure wish we'd
met a lot sooner.

Yeah, it could have been
something real special.

'I guess it just
wasn't meant to be.'

Jamie.

Well, you got my sympathy, J.D.

When your own kin lets
you down, it's gotta hurt.

It does, it does, Jesse.

I wanna thank you. Very
kind there, for your sympathy.

I mean, I know
you know how I feel.

And you don't know
how lucky you are

havin' two nephews who
are dyed-in-the-wool criminals.

- What?
- What do you mean?

Them boys ain't criminals.

Then what else are they?

Well, they're just
good old country boys...

Yeah, and they only stay to..

You know, though I'm
glad there wasn't no weddin'

ain't it amazin' how love
can bring enemies together

even for a short time,
especially in Hazzard County?