04x27 - Dukes in Danger

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Bo and Luke Duke
know every highway, road

and cow path in
Hazzard County so well

that they could probably
drive 'em blindfolded.

Lotta folks have wondered why
the boys keep hangin' around.

One reason is life in Hazzard
is plumb full of surprises.

Now, Flash. Now, watch
your superior leader here.

'This is my finest.'

'We're gonna make a
fortune. I'm not kiddin' you'.

' We'll make a fortune
on this doodad.'

I'm tellin' you, Flash

we're gonna be up to your
nose in steaks and caviar.

I love caviar. Do I know it!

Cousin, for once, we can
just take it easy and kick back.

Yeah, we oughta make it to
the bank by : . No sweat.

Yeah.

On your tippy toes.
I think I hear one.

Good news! Good
news! It's the Dukes!

What in the world..

Dang it! That red light
just popped right out of tree.

- Like a big old apple, huh?
- Guess who did the plantin'.

I told you it would work.

Hold on, Flash.

I tell you, Flash,
police work's my life.

'Get away!'

Do you see what I see?

I always suspected Rosco
was a mite backwards

but this is ridiculous.

Ha ha!

- Let's get out of here.
- You got that right.

The gears are jammed in reverse!

We'll catch 'em in reverse
then. Keep a lookout now.

Come on, Luke.

Hey, he can't go fast backwards.

Now, them Dukes don't know

but this prison car
taking a shortcut

to the federal
slammer in Atlanta

is gonna land
them in more trouble

than Custer had Indians.

In reverse, I don't care.

Now that smarts.

Ooh!

Well, we did it. We
finally treed old Rosco.

Better get back and help him
before the squirrels get at him.

'Randall!'

Randall!

Randall, you tryin'
to get us k*lled?

- Oh, Leeman, you alright, man?
- Yeah. Look at it.

Randall!

'He's out of it.'

The keys!

Get me out, man.

Yeah.

- It's all set. Give it a sh*t.
- Alright.

It's alright, Flash.
It's alright, girl.

sh**t, it ain't gonna work.

Come on, come on!
Before he comes to.

- That g*n.
- Give me that.

Grab the CB wires.

Alright.

Get the bag. Come on.

Well, we're off to a good start.

Two dangerous
felons on the loose

and the chief law
officer's up a tree.

Ooh-hoo!

- Good drivin'.
- Alright.

Oh ho! Oh, what a horrendous..

I don't know when it's easier,
goin' up or comin' down.

Out of the way, out of the way.

Alright.

You in one piece, Rosco?

Flash is in a state.
Her nose has gone dry.

Oh, she'll walk it off, Rosco.

So is mine.

We gotta get back into town.
Gotta be at the bank by : .

Right. Jesse's making a mortgage
payment. We're gonna celebrate.

Wait a purple pea-pickin'
minute. You ain't going nowhere.

I'm gonna write you a
citation for runnin' that red light.

Rosco, that was a phony light.
They don't put lights in trees.

Hush! Don't make no difference.
I'm gonna give you a citation.

- It gets crazy right there..
- Bye.

Wait now. Wait!

Oh!

Freeze!

Oh, I caught 'em once
backwards, I'll do it again.

Alright, hang on!

Cover you ears, Flash.

I don't want a lady to hear
what I'm about to say. Ghjuk!

'Mable, this is J.D. Hogg.
Give me my bank, please.'

Oh, Laverne, this is me.

Jesse Duke show
up at the bank yet?

Hmm! Good, good.

There's only minutes to go.

Listen, at : p.m. sharp,
you bang them front doors shut.

One of these days Jesse Duke is
gonna miss his mortgage payment

and I just got me a feeling
today might be that very day.

Here you go, girls.

It's gonna have to hold
until we get back from town.

Come on, Daisy, minutes
till : . We're cuttin' it short.

Okay, Uncle Jesse. Do you
have the mortgage money?

Right here. I wouldn't
go to town without it.

Okay, just checkin'.

Just hold it! You folks
ain't goin' nowhere.

What's goin' on here?

Just climb down outta
there. We'll tell you, papi.

Don't. Now, don't.

That's real smart,
unc. Real smart.

I hear you say something
about some mortgage money.

Alright, you got the
money. Now, just let her go.

I'll behave.

Well, there goes the farm.
And things are just startin'.

Rosco held us up longer
than I thought he did.

We're gonna be a mite late.

Put the pedal to the
metal, cousin. Let's go.

I'm doing my best.

Cooter was cruising the
Duke trails looking for debris

which was good
business in Hazzard.

Stop!

While the guard from the
state prison was telling Cooter

all about them escaped convicts

back in town, there was
one very happy fat man.

o'clock! o'clock!
It's o'clock already.

Close them doors tight,
and lock 'em up good.

The bank is closed!

And Jesse Duke has
forfeited on his mortgage.

I got me a farm!

Own it!

- It's a minute after : .
- The bank's closed up tight.

Uncle Jesse's truck. Where do
you suppose he and Daisy are?

I don' know. Try him on the C.B.

'Shepherd, this is Lost Sheep.
Shepherd to Lost Sheep.'

'Shepherd, you..'

It ain't like him to miss
a payment like that.

That's for sure..

Lost Sheep to Shepherd, you
got your ears on? Come back.

Hey, Boss. Have you
seen our Uncle Jesse?

No. No Uncle Jesse.

No current mortgage payment.

And now that p.m.
has come and gone

you Dukes ain't got no farm.

Just hold on a second.
Somethin' must have happened.

You know that. You gotta
cut him a half hour slack or so.

- Where does it say that?
- Oh, come on, Boss!

You can't take Uncle
Jesse's farm away from him.

The farm's been in our
family for generations.

Ain't that a cryin' shame then?

Well, now it's my said duty to
go seek out your Uncle Jesse

and serve him with
this foreclosure notice

and make that farm my own.

Well, time's a-wastin'!

This here's Lost Sheep callin'
the Shepherd. Come in, Shepherd.

It's the Lost Sheep callin' the
Shepherd. It's an emergency.

Come back.

Now, you fellas have got
the money and everything.

Why don't you just hit the
road before the law shows up?

'Cause we kinda like it here.

It's a nice cozy little
place. Now move it.

Yeah, how about fixin'
us a little chow, sugar?

I'm not hungry.

- Feisty little filly, huh?
- Oh, fix it yourself!

Daisy, Daisy, it's
alright. I'll help you fix it.

Wait a minute.

Boss, we're in a hurry.
Get outta the way.

You ain't passin'
me. No siree, Bob.

You're messin' with an old
ridge runner. That's what.

- Get around him.
- I'm tryin' to, dang it!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

'It's a little early for
Boss to be hittin' the hay.'

Alright! Nice move.

There's Winnie and Bob

left over from last
night's square dance.

Hey, hey, hey,
what's goin' on here?

This ain't no drive-in movie.
Go on, shoo! Shoo! Shoo!

You know, her daddy's
been lookin' for 'em.

Well, this thing
won't start at all.

What's in tarnation's
the matter with it?

Ooh, that younger
generation. My, oh, my... aah!

Hey!

- Somebody's comin'.
- Not a sound out of you two.

- Pickup's still here.
- Uncle Jesse ain't took sick.

Uncle Jesse!

- Uncle Jesse.
- There you are.

Put 'em up, country boys,
and don't try anything cute.

Ah! No, I wouldn't
think of it. Go for it, Luke!

Now, "Go for it, Luke"
usually means trouble.

Aah!

You ain't runnin' nowhere.

Hammer, Hammer, cool it.

You're gettin' off
lucky, wise guy.

- You alright?
- Yeah.

- How about you two? You okay?
- We're fine.

They got the mortgage money,
but that'll make no difference.

They've come from that station
wagon we saw down the creek.

Well, you ain't as
dumb as you look.

You got what you want.
Why don't you leave us alone?

You gotta be kiddin', plowboy.

'We were on our way to
the federal penitentiary.'

Roads must be
crawlin' with law by now.

We lay low right here.
We figure a way out.

Take them to another room. If
they move a finger, waste 'em.

Get! Come on, plowboy.

- We gotta get out and get help.
- I know it.

- Sit!
- Yeah.

- Alright.
- Shut your yap!

Yes, sir.

- Cletus!
- What!

- When I say go, go!
- Why, I'm goin'.

- What's the matter with you?
- I'm goin'.

You know, you infuriate me.

I said go slow. Cletus!

- Shut it down!
- What's wrong with that?

- What's the matter with you?
- What do you mean?

When I said go
slow, I meant go slow.

- Get the chain off.
- How come I gotta do it?

They tore the transmission
right outta my vehicle.

Now we'll see if this
dang thing don't start.

Aaaah!

- Hold that.
- Ooh.

Ooh.

- Ow!
- Ghk-ghk!

'J.D. Hogg calling
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.'

'Come in.'

Oh! Oh! Cletus!

This is J.D. Hogg
calling Sheriff Coltrane..

'Where are you? Come
back, and I mean quick.'

Cletus, you're gonna get your..

This is Rosco P. Coltrane.

Rosco, where the
devil are you at?

You sound like you're sittin'
down in a boiling hot tub.

Alright, alright, alright,
alright, alright, never mind!

Listen, meet me at the Duke
farm, and I mean on the double.

I'm foreclosin' on the place,
and there may be trouble.

- Over and out.
- That's a - ..

- I'm real sorry, sheriff.
- One thing I agree about.

You're the sorriest
deputy that ever breathed.

Now, get in your vehicle

and take off towards town,
and don't come near my vehicle.

- Alright, I won't.
- My vehicle is more than..

- I hate you!
- 'That's not nice.'

Oh-oh.

- Rosco, we got a problem.
- What?

- Escapees.
- Sheriff..

The problem wasn't
two escaped cons.

Ol' Rosco told the guard
he was in hot pursuit.

That he'd radio Cletus
and loan him a patrol car.

You mean here in Hazzard? Ohh!

Good news! Good
n... hot pursuit.

Hey, Leeman.

Look at this.

I been in them plowboys' closet.

- Take your pick.
- Wait, that's our clothes.

Hold it. Hold it.

Someone is coming.
Not a sound outta ya.

- Unc.
- Yeah?

- Who is that?
- That's J.D. Hogg.

He's one of the town bigwigs.

Alright, Hammer,
take 'em two in back.

- Now, get!
- Yes, sir.

- Now, move.
- Alright.

'Alright, listen, you get rid of
him and no funny business.'

I'll be watching
you like a hawk.

Oh, my oh my! He he he!

'Come on in. It's open.'

Well, good day to
you, Jesse, Daisy.

It's a fine day today,
ain't it? A wonderful day!

Fact is I've been waiting for
this day for a long, long time.

I bet you have.

Jesse Duke, I hereby serve
you with a foreclosure notice

for failure to pay your
mortgage payments on time.

And I hereby request you to
evacuate my farm immediately.

Uh... J.D., you can't kick us
out 'cause we got nowhere to go.

And we did try to make
the mortgage payments

but something came up that
we just didn't figure on, Boss..

Yeah, so, J.D., why don't
you just run on back to town

and get in that
little office of yours?

And we'll be in to
see you next week.

And we can talk
this whole thing over.

Mm-mm-mm. Just get
your hands off me, Jesse.

As of : p.m.
today, this farm is mine.

And I ain't leavin'.
No siree, Bob!

You all are.

Boss, you wouldn't
like farm life.

- Now, just get outta here.
- It's for your own good.

- Oh, for my own good?
- That's right.

Listen, you ain't
threatening me, are you?

No, we ain't threatening
you. J.D., just get out.

- That's the best thing for...
- Oh, listen, Jesse.

You can jaw at me all you want.

I still... am not... leavin'.

You made your choice,
fatty. Welcome to the party.

What's goin' on here?

You Dukes are trying to pull
a fast one on me, ain't you?

Who do you think you are
all dressed up like a jailbird?

J.D., he isthe jailbird.

Who I am ain't none
of your business

'you overstuffed bean bag.'

You in it with the
rest of 'em now.

Tried to tell you, you
stubborn mule, to get outta here

but you wouldn't listen.

Hammer, bring them
other two in here.

Uh-oh!

See here, gentlemen.

I'm J.D. Hogg, county
commissioner of Hazzard County.

And I have no connection
with these here Dukes.

If you have problems with them,
I leave you to work it out and...

You hold it. Get
back over there, blimp

before I let out your hot air!

Okay, rube, you've bought it!

Listen, fella, you
can still leave.

- You're getting in this deep.
- Not as deep as you, fella.

You're heading
for six feet under.

- Sounds like Cletus.
- No, it's more like Rosco.

Well, whoever it is

it's gotta be the Hazzard
County Sheriff's department.

They work for me, so you
better run for it while you can.

Didn't work.

- Leeman, it's the fuzz.
- 'I know it.'

- Let's split.
- No way, no way.

No, no! No, no, Flash.
You're blocking daddy's vision.

Rosco's driving is
improvin', ain't it?

Dang! This has got to be
the busiest place in town.

Hammer! I wanna keep
an eye on those two.

You get unc and
the gal outta here.

Little gal, unc,
move! Move it! Go on!

Uh, say, my dear,
sir, if you just let me go

I could arrange for you
to be let go in some way.

Just shut up! Just sit down!

- Alright.
- Sit down!

Alright, I'm sitting down.

You two, get over
here and sit down.

- Yes, sir.
- Yeah, we're going.

Alright, I want you
to act real natural.

Get rid of that sheriff
or I'll start sh**t'.

You got it.

You almost feel
sorry for them ol' boys

pickin' Hazzard
County to get trapped in.

Here, I'm gonna teach
you how to foreclose.

The secret of foreclosin'
is-is looking mean, you know.

You know how to look mean,
you gotta show your little fangs.

Get 'em ready, and
just snarl, and snap.

It's nice of you Dukes
to have seen the light

and not make no fuss about
this here foreclosing order.

Hey, Boss! Hey, Boss.

Listen, Flash and me, we got
here just as quick as we could.

'Alright.'

'Are these guys
giving you a hard time?'

Why should we? He's
got us dead to rights.

Uncle Jesse did not make
that mortgage payment on time

so the farm legally
belongs to Boss.

You might as well run along,
everything's peaceful here.

- Bye. We're all normal.
- You mean..

You mean, you... they..

You know something? I'm
sure glad to see you Duke Boys

co-operating for just one time.

- Ain't that nice?
- Yeah.

Listen, Boss, you wanna
hear some good news?

- Yeah.
- Oh, listen.

'There is some convicts
out there, and Flash and me..'

we're organizing a
dog hunt. Manhunt.

- Oh, oh, oh.
- So, if you don't mind

Flash and I,
we'll just go on off

and we'll go after
and apprehend them.

Oh, I don't mind. Go right
now. That's it, go right now.

She's sniffing at
your closet there.

You must have a
humongous mouse in there.

Don't worry about it, Rosco,
the cat will take care of it.

You ain't got no cat.

Well, we'll get one or two.
Why don't you just go hunt?

Hot pursuit.

Listen, I'll tell you something,
when she's sniffing like that

there's gotta be
something in there.

Come on, Flash, darling.

- Roscoe..
- Come on, darling.

Let's go. That's
right, take her and go.

She wants to see
what's in there.

- No!
- What's in here?

- Don't do that!
- O-oh!

Well, I guess you're
just gonna have to join

our little party too, sheriff.

You're the convict, aren't you?

Well, get a man a cigar!
Get 'em up, come on.

- Hammer, get in here fast!
- Hold the dog.

No, no, no! Don't
give this fleabag to me.

'You gotta hold
the dog. I gotta... '

Hammer!

- Ah!
- Hammer, watch!

Take a deep breath,
plowboy, and you're gone.

You know, the way things
are going for that fella

I believe I'd just
let him get away.

Okay, move out of the car.

- You got no call...
- 'Out of the car!'

You try that one more time, I
won't be sh**ting at your tires.

You got no call holding us
prisoners in our own house.

Inside!

Move it!

Well, you take this dog..

Are you kidding me? I
ain't putting my hands down.

- Oh, you're alright.
- Get... just, get over there!

Now, listen up!

You people are starting
to get me ticked off.

Now, I want you to hear
this, and hear it real good!

'Next time any of you
tries to bust outta here'

'We're not gonna chase you.'

We're gonna sh**t your
dear little cousin Daisy here.

Bang, bang, and she is
gone. You understand that?

Hold on. You don't
have to do nothing crazy.

Just take our clothes and
the car, and clear outta here.

It sounds like the
best bet for me.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?
You're not running things. I am!

And we're gonna lay low
right here! For a long time.

Now, you get over there
and get that chow ready.

- I got me an appetite now.
- I could eat an orange.

- Give me that!
- Ah! Oh!

Get over here! Come here!

Is he talking to me?

Why, surely. Glad to.

They tell me that, uh, you're
the boss man around here.

- Oh, yeah, that I am.
- He's the boss alright.

Would you please
simply not get into this?

Uh, yeah, and therefore

I am in a position to do
something very good for you

if you let me go.

Yeah, and I'm
his brother-in-law.

Would you go away,
please? Move on!

I am.

Listen, how would
you like a healthy cut

of my parking meter money?

How would like %
of my % of his %?

How would like % of
an unemployment check?

- Just cool it!
- Yeah, yeah.

There is something
you can do for me.

Oh, yeah, yeah..

- In there.
- What? Where?

- In there! Get!
- Alright, I'm going.

In there.

Ooh.

Alright, now, listen, with
you and the sheriff out here

- who's your next in command?
- My next in command?

Oh, well, for better or worse,
it's Deputy Cletus Hogg.

Alright, I want you to call him.

You tell him that
he is in charge.

And he's not to bother
you or the sheriff.

Tell him that the both
of y'all will be out here

at the Duke's farm
for a couple of days.

And he is not to disturb
you for anythin'! You got that?

Hmm? Hmm.

I can't remember the
second part of what you said.

- I wasn't paying attention.
- I think you can remember it.

Yeah, I remember.
I remember that!

Uh, but listen,
after I make the call

I wanna talk to you about me.

- Just make...
- Mable! Mable! Mable!

Mable? Oh, Mable,
listen, J.D. Hogg here.

Uh, would you get me Deputy
Cletus at the booking office?

Hello from Rosco.

- Mr. Randall, here's the g*n.
- Good.

- Keys to a spare patrol car.
- Thanks.

I've gotta round up them
cons before they stir up trouble.

- Alright, good huntin'.
- Yeah.

Oh.

Bye.

Deputy Cletus Hogg
speaking. Oh, hi, cousin Boss.

Listen, have I got
somethin' excitin' to tell you.

This prison car from
the state pen was takin'

a shortcut through Hazzard

it had an accident, and
both these cons escaped.

And they're dangerous.
I'm talkin' dangerous!

Yeah, I know, I
know all about it.

Uh, news travels fast..

And so Boss told Cletus that
he was in charge of the town

while he and Rosco
was out at the Duke farm

taking inventory.

And ol' Cletus took to the
news like a hungry boll weevil

in a bail of cotton.

You bet!

Woo! Hah!

Alright, my fellow Hazzardinians

Hazzardites, uh,
people of Hazzard

Deputy Cletus Hogg is
running this town now.

When I say jump, I
want everybody to jump.

Alright?

Oh, no. Oh, no!

Uh, help! I'm locked
in. Somebody! Help!

I knew it was
unlocked all the time.

Meanwhile, back at the
farm, Leeman and Hammer

were making themselves at home.

Just like relatives.

Grabbing all the car keys,
knocking out all the CBs.

Cutting the phone lines
and borrowin' clothes.

Just like cousins
come for the summer.

We get out to the barn, the
bows and arrows are out there.

I got an old shotgun out
there too. It's too dangerous.

- We gotta try something.
- Hey, button it up, you two.

And you remember, plowboy,
one of you tries to bust outta here

the girl gets it.

'There's a truck
comin' this way.'

Now, about the only person
who hadn't shown up was Cooter

and here he is.

'Y'all, you got a little
company coming.'

'Better throw in another plate.'

- Oh, that smells good.
- Hey, Cooter, how you doing?

I see y'all got company.

Uh, yeah, J.D. and
Rosco just happened by.

Yeah.

Just sittin' down
to dinner, huh?

- 'Yeah.'
- Yeah, just this minute.

Crawfish gumbo...
is my favorite.

- Hey, it's mine too.
- Yeah, and mine.

I've been so busy. I didn't
have a chance to get dinner.

'You're working you're fingers
to the bone, ain't you, Cooter?'

Yeah. Probably be too late
for suppertime when I get home.

Then, you better hurry, Cooter.

I want some of
these here biscuits.

Go ahead, help yourself, Boss.

'I'll need gravy, too.'

Cooter, you're just an angel,
and I wanna thank you so much

for bringing my jeep out to me.

Daisy, anytime.

Thank you, bye.

Adios, Cooter.

- Bye.
- That's right, bye.

- Y'all enjoy here.
- Yeah, bye, now.

- Drive safe.
- Yeah.

Now, if Daisy hadn't
distracted him with that kiss

he'd have noticed
that note in his pocket.

Either that, or ol'
Cooter can't read.

Yeah, that looks good.

Ah!

Puttin' away all our
eats! Give me that!

Yeah, sure, take it.

Uh!

I'm gonna have some of these.

'Boss, don't push your luck.'

Meanwhile, not too far
away, that prison guard fella

was out huntin' them
convicts his own self.

You alright, Mr. Randall?

What are you, tryin' to pick
up some more towin' business?

Sorry 'bout that, I
was a little distracted.

You see any sign
of them escapees?

Not yet, I thought I'd check out
the farms down along this way.

There's only one farm up
there. That's the Duke place.

And they ain't there,
I was just there.

Ah. Well, I'll head
back up the other way.

But, Cooter, you see
anything, you let me know.

- These guys are bad news.
- We'll get 'em.

Just hang tight on the CB.

The way their luck's
going, it's a good thing

they ain't playing
cards for money.

What are you
doing, you cow chip?

Them is good biscuits! Don't
feed 'em to no hound dog.

Listen, Flash is starving.
She hasn't eaten all day.

Well, better she
should starve than me.

Well, listen, if she
doesn't eat, she faints.

Well, so do I! Give me them!

Gentlemen, allow me.

'Yeah, yeah..'

They're good biscuits and just..

- Oh!
- Oh, just... oh, that's..

The barn checks out okay.
Let's dump 'em all out there.

Wait, you can't do that.
It's too cold out there.

Yeah, there's, uh, nothing
to sleep on in the barn.

You can't do that. You can't
throw us out of our own house.

- I can do anything I want.
- Oh, he's got a point.

It's a good idea, Hammer.

We can use the peace
and quiet around here.

We'll take turns guarding them.

Say, listen, my dear sir.

You know, I am
county commissioner.

And like I've been
trying to tell you

my being incarcerated here
is all a very ghastly mistake.

'Now, if you let me go,
I'll tell you what I'll do.'

I'll give you a very healthy
cut of my speed trap money.

Listen, I'll let you
play with my radar g*n.

- Would you please?
- Well..

- I'll tell you what, chubby.
- Yeah.

- If you're talking real money.
- I am.

- Cash!
- That's right.

- I'll listen.
- Listen, listen, he's got cash.

He's gotcash. He's got
more than you could spend

or I could spend, even
Flash could spend.

- So I do.
- Where?

Well, it's right around
here in his fat...

- Rosco!
- I didn't say tummy.

Oh!

Well, well, well.

So, this ain't all belly.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Well, he means.. He means the..

Oh, no, no! Ohh!

Uh!

Jackpot!

Rosco, if we ever get outta
this thing alive, I'll k*ll you.

No, Laverne, I'm not kidding.

Right now you're talking

to thelaw and order
in Hazzard County.

So if you see any sign
of those escaped convicts

you just tell 'em
to come see me.

Now, listen, Laverne, you don't
have to worry with me on the job

you're safe as a penny
in Boss Hogg's pocket.

Incoming!

Oh, hi, Randall.

Just take it easy, Cletus.

- Practicin' your fast draw?
- Yeah.

Cletus, those escaped
cons have disappeared

off the face of the Earth.

Never mind about that.
What about the escaped cons?

You are standing on my g*n!

Now, I don't think Leeman
and Hammer have ever heard

of Br'er Rabbit
in the briar patch

'cause the barn is where
the Dukes wanna go.

Keep your eyes
and your mouth shut!

We made it to the barn.

If we can just get to
them bows and arrows...

I said keep your mouth shut!

Come on over and lay
it right down here, sugar

where I can keep an eye on you.

Better do what the man says.

Yeah, we'll keep an
eye on you too, Daisy.

Come on! All of you.

Say, uh, wait a minute,
I've been trying to tell you

I am commissioner around here!

County commissioner, that
is. And I for one deserve more...

- Down, fatso!
- Yes, sir!

Keep your eyes
and your mouth shut.

When he said
fatso, he meant you.

Just shut up and give
me some of your blanket

'cause this ain't enough
to keep me warm.

And get that mangy
fleabag away from me!

Knock it off, you two!

Sir, you don't mind if Flash
says her prayers, do you?

Close your eyes!

Close your eyes like
the nice man says.

'All of you.'

Sneaking in there... okay.

'Close your eyes!'

Rosco, don't get so close.

Well, I thought somebody
would try to escape

but they didn't.

I reckon they figured
anybody left behind

would have a tough
time with those fellas.

Who were getting
a little bit testy.

Say, is it alright if we
open our eyes yet?

- Okay, no moving around.
- Man, am I hungry.

- I know what you mean.
- How about the rest of you?

Starving.

Could use a good ol'
hot country breakfast.

What about my homemade
sizzling, juicy sausages?

'Hmm, with them biscuits.'

- Yeah.
- We got fresh milk and eggs.

It won't take us a
minute to gather 'em.

How about it? After
all that prison food

you could enjoy a
good homecooked meal.

Okay. But, unk,
you and sugar go.

You two stay here
where I can watch you.

If you try anything
funny, I'll start sh**ting.

We ain't gonna try nothing.

Yes, sir.

Hey, listen, now that I've
had a chance to sleep on it

I'm gonna make you
an offer you can't refuse..

You know, ol' Boss is
the only person I know

who could sleep in a barn
and not dirty his white suit.

Shine, the best in the world.

And I'll give you one
of Flash's puppies.

You can't be serious.

How about I make it two
dozens cases of shine?

I'll give the whole litter and
ten pounds of dog bones.

- Forget it, pal.
- I'll give ya the whole still!

I'll let you pick Flash's
husband. You don't mind do you...

Shut your yap!

- Yeah, how'd you do?
- Great big..

Wait till they serve
the next course.

Ah! I've been hit!

'Get my g*n, Daisy.'

- Daisy, get the g*n!
- 'Okay.'

Leeman!

Come on, get me outta this.

Come on, get me outta here.

'Come on, get me outta here.'

Okay. You Dukes!

Come outta there with your
hands up or we come in f*ring.

That's far enough.
I'm warning you.

He's got a g*n!

Dang Dukes are trying
to k*ll us! Get down!

I better fire a couple of
sh*ts over their heads.

Let's get him while
he's reloading.

We're only supposed
to scare them.

Those were pretty close!

We're not gettin' pinned
down, Uncle Jesse.

I'm gonna faint. I need food.

- You're that scared, huh?
- And that hungry.

Watch that bucket.

- There's a goat.
- You're gonna eat the goat?

- I'm gonna milk it!
- Oh, milk the goat.

Get down.

And while they was a-fightin'
the battle of O.K. Corral

Dukes style... back in
town things were pickin' up.

Considerin' it was so early.

Mabel, this is Cletus.

If the governor calls,
take a message.

Cletus, look here
what this napkin says.

Daisy must've put it on there
when I was at the Duke place.

- I think they're in trouble.
- Say what?

Never mind, I'll
tell you on the way.

Come on, just don't sit there.
Give me a hand, will you?

I'm having trouble and
I ain't getting enough.

You sure you got
the right faucet?

- You mean this one?
- Oh! Ah!

- That's the right faucet.
- Yeah, I hope so.

Boss!

Let me see if I can
make it over to Dixie.

- Give me your last arrow.
- Cover me.

- You bet.
- It's too dangerous.

Don't try it!

Get back here!

Bo, come on!

- Hey, Boss.
- Yeah, what?

Look what Flash
found. She found an egg.

Oh, that's good. I can just
use that in my milkshake.

- You mean, our milkshake.
- No, I mean my milkshake.

- Here goes.
- Boss..

- Boss..
- Ah!

It's probably that you
left the shells on there.

Look what I found.

That prison guard left
behind what he was carrying.

- Nice!
- Tear gas.

Nice going, Hammer.

- How's your arm?
- Not so bad.

Alright.

'I'll cover you.'

Let her rip.

Daisy, no!

- Nice pitching, Daisy.
- Alright!

Ha-haa, look at them.

'Now don't get anxious,
they still got the g*ns.'

Flash, just a little bit.

We'll take the sheriff's car.

- Give me the keys!
- Here.

Get the tires.

They're takin' off.

Look, they've
blown all our tires.

- They've taken my vehicle!
- They got my money belt!

And my mortgage money.

Let's go, Bo! Fix-it-up time!

Let's get it.

Come on, you got the keys.

Don't give up, friends.
Their best time is seconds.

Now, y'all watch real close.

This here is the bad
guys in Rosco's car.

Uh, but you can forget that.

And here comes
Cletus and Cooter.

Remember that.

And coming in on the
right is the prison guard.

- Hey! There's Rosco!
- No, turn around, Cletus.

- It's them two convicts.
- Two? In that car?

- Yeah.
- Thought Flash's over-dressed.

Hang on.

Daisy, go get the bows..

Come on, come on, get after 'em.

Come on, come
on! Faster, faster!

- Come on, Daisy.
- Here you go, Luke.

Alright.

Time... minute three.
Needs work, boys.

Listen here! Listen!

Don't forget to bring
back my money bag.

I ought to be in that
vehicle in hot pursuit!

Ain't never gonna catch 'em
unless we go cross-country.

We got no choice then.

'Yee!'

- Woo! Ha-ha-ha.
- If we're in the marines

looks like the General's
gonna have to join the air force.

It's them plowboys.

Well, lookie who
we caught up with.

- They fixed a tire that fast?
- I don't know.

I expect we better start
puttin' some b*ll*ts in 'em.

Them boys ain't kiddin' around.

Neither am I. Let's see
how they like dynamite.

Good luck.

Dang it. I missed.

- Yeah, well they didn't.
- Guess not.

Holy smoke!

- Better hit 'em this time.
- You got that right.

Get 'em now.

- Yeah!
- Alright!

Yee-hoo!

'Come on, get outta there!'

- Come on.
- Alright.

Alright, against the car now.

Hey, come on
down, give us a hand.

And so, the escaped convicts

were finally captured
by the Duke boys

and turned over to the law.

After they'd been relieved
of Jesse's mortgage money

and Boss's very fat money belt.

But the Dukes'
problem wasn't over.

'Cause they had to get Boss
to accept that mortgage money.

- We got it.
- We got it.

Oh, they got it!
They got everything!

Here's our mortgage money.

Uh-uh.

- You gotta take that.
- Boss, you gotta play fair.

I am playin' fair and
square and that's why I got..

So, they counted
on ol' Boss's greed.

They slipped the mortgage
money into the money belt

which meant that Boss
had accepted the payment

and the Dukes kept the farm.

They gave me the money belt.

Now, you do realize
that this all started

'cause they got
their first traffic light

in Hazzard County, don't you?