07x08 - Go West, Young Dukes

[bunniefuu]

Yee-haw!

Now, in the first place
things look good here

but they ain't.

The Dukes ain't got
a care in the world

'cause they don't
know what's coming.

Now, there was food on the table

but the Dukes don't
live by bread alone.

The bills is paid, but
money ain't everything.

Even Boss, who had inherited
half of his granddaddy's estate

was trippin' in tall cotton.

But even that wasn't
what it looked like.

So, friends, nothing
ain't what it seems.

He don't leave me
nothing but junk.

- Oh!
- Junk, junk, junk!

Shame, shame,
everybody knows his name.

All this here junk.
Look at this thing.

- Do I need this?
- Not with a dead bird.

I need it like a
hole in my head.

Don't tell me there's more junk!

- Oh!
- Oh, look, look, look.

This is what I get. Oh,
please take it away.

Oh! I'll knock you in
the middle of.. Eh-oh!

- Rosco.
- What?

My great granddaddy always
said he loved me the best.

- Yeah.
- Well..

- What does he do?
- What?

He leaves all his
money to my brother.

- Oh!
- And leaves me this junk!

- How dare he!
- I can't use any of this.

Look, confederate money.

- He leaves that!
- All these confederate money!

And then, here. Worthless
stocks in old dried up gold mines

and I don't know
what! And what's this?

- Oh, the deed to the Duke farm!
- Yeah.

- And-and more worthless paper.
- Wait a minute.

More confederate money.
What am I gonna do with this?

- Deed to the Duke farm?
- Yeah.

- Wait a minute, Boss.
- The deed... to the Duke farm!

I said that.

He left me... the
deed to the Duke farm.

- And look at this.
- What?

"June th . Signing
over to Thadius B Hogg."

My great granddaddy..

The Duke farm. And there it is
the signature, Jeremiah Duke.

- Ha ha.
- Oh, yes!

- Jesse's granddaddy.
- Oh! Good news, good news.

I got the Duke farm. Let's
go. Off to the Duke farm.

It's mine. Off to the Duke
farm. Off to the Duke farm.

I can't believe this.

Could it be a counterfeit?

Of course! No Duke would
ever give this land away.

Especially not to no Hogg.

Well, whatever the
case, the document looks

perfectly legal to me.

If it looks legal to
him, it's legal to me.

J.D, we know the only
two things you ever did

that was legal was be
born and marry Lulu.

However, if this
signature's authentic..

It's a legal document.

Oh, no, it's gotta be a fake.

Oh, tiddly-tuddly. You
know what's wrong with y'all?

You're a bunch of spoilsports.

'Eh, wait a minute.'

'I'll tell you what I'll do.'

Let's all run over
to Capital City

and have this document
checked out by an expert, hm?

Alright, come on
along, everybody.

Come on. Come on.

The Dukes and Boss
drove over to Capital City

and found a handwriting
expert that they could trust.

He was to match their
signature on the deed

with the one on the
letter that Jesse had

which was written by his
great-granddaddy, Jeremiah.

Unfortunately for the Dukes,
the signatures matched.

Satisfied?

Well, I can't believe
it. I still can't believe it.

Yeah, well, you
better believe it.

Now, then, uh, since
that land of yours

really belongs to
me all these years.

The mortgage money that
you paid me all these years

I'm gonna apply
to your past rent

which I ain't figured out yet.

That's fair and square,
ain't it? Of course it is.

However, I hereby inform
you that I'm evicting you

from my premises so I can
tear down that old farmhouse

and barn of yours and build
a nice new fancy spa resorts.

You got hours to
get off my property.

Where's my car? Oh, yeah.

This place has been in our
family for four generations.

It's the only home
I've ever known.

Don't you worry, Uncle Jesse.

We ain't gonna give
up without a fight.

Don't you think I wanna fight?

Don't you think I wanna
protect my home and my land?

But the law's the law.
It's not a matter of agreein'

or disagreein', you obey it.

'We ain't got nothing
to fight or to fight with.'

According to that
paper that J.D's got

he owns the whole thing,
lock, stock and barrel.

There's gotta be
somethin' we can do.

Yeah, something, Uncle Jesse.

There is something.

We can grit our teeth, stand
up straight and tall and together..

Move off and start
over someplace.

Come on, let's go. We
got a lot of packing to do.

Guys, I-I can't take this.
We gotta do something.

We just gotta do something.

I'll tell you what we gotta do.

We gotta make this as easy
on Uncle Jesse as we can.

Come on.

What's that, Uncle Jesse?

Well, let's see.

This would be your
Great-Great-Great

Grandma Jenny's diary.

Hey, boys, uh, what was
the date on that document

that J.D Hogg had?

June th, .

June th, let's see what
happened the day before.

"June th, .

"Thadius Hogg visited us today

"the third time this week.

"He owns everything in
sight including Sleepy City

"and the sheriff.

"Thadius warned us again

"he don't want no farming
on what he calls cattle land

"and blames us for some
cattlepeople pulling up stakes

"and leaving. Jeremiah
told him off good.

"This is our land, he
said, and we're staying.

'That it?'

'Let's see what
happens the next day.'

"Jeremiah and me didn't
get much sleep last night

"wonderin' what Thadius
Hogg would do next

to get us off our land.

"We found out this morning
when we stood there

"and watched our
barn burn to the ground.

"We wondered if our house
would be the next to go."

knowing that he couldn't
keep fighting Thadius himself

Jeremiah had written
some of his kin for help

and those that could wrote
back that they'd be arriving

by stage that day.

That young feller
there is Joe Duke

Bo's great-granddaddy.

And that pretty little
thing is his cousin, Dixie

Daisy's great-grandma.

I'll bet you're a real
lady-k*ller, Cousin Joe.

Well, Cousin Dixie, you
know I do like a lot of ladies

in my life... but I also like
a lot of, uh, life in my ladies.

Yeah?

Y'all may note a vague
family resemblance.

Y'all may notice that Hazzard
ain't changed much since then.

About all they did was lay
some asphalt over the dirt.

Whoa.

Get over there, Jesse.

Get over.

That's the way.

Jenny.

- Well, good morning.
- Good morning, Jeeter.

- Jeremiah. Miss Jenny.
- Jeeter.

Your kinfolks arrivin'
on the stage today?

That's what my nephew
Joseph wrote me.

Said he'd be in
on today's stage.

Well, she'll be
arriving any time now.

I don't know why they
stop here anymore.

And that is Thadius B. Hogg.

Look, look. You see?

Them Dukes. They look like
they're expecting company.

Ah! Well, you don't have to
worry about that, Mr. Hogg.

- I don't, huh?
- No, you don't.

Because anybody they're
expectin' to give 'em

a helpin' hand ain't gonna
be comin' in on that stage.

I hope not.

They ain't comin'
in on any stage.

I hired a couple of g*n hands
that were passin' Sleepy City

to take care of that.

I don't care if you
hired the U.S. Cavalry.

I want them Duke
farmers off of that land

or the cattlepeople
will never come back.

- Light me up.
- Mm.

Them dominant genes just go on

generation after
generation, don't they?

Oh!

Stage should be comin'
along any time now, Jesse.

With them folks that Hogg
feller wanted us to scare off.

Well, there's gonna be
a change in plans, Frank.

There's a , in cash
coming through on that stage.

Sheriff let it slip while
he was hiring me.

That sure was mighty
considerate of him.

Just mighty stupid.

If we rob that stage, what'll
we do about whoever's on it?

'What we don't do,
is leave witnesses'

Duke folks or anybody else.

Here she comes now, brother.

Friends, them James boys
called each other Frank and Jesse.

Now, guess who
hired who to do what

and don't know who they hired.

Yah! Move them horses
up! Move them up.

- Move in.
- Whoa.

Drop them g*ns.

Whoa.

Drop it or you're dead!

That's real smart of
you. Now climb down.

And get that moneybox
you're totin' with you.

Anybody named Duke
in there, step out first.

How do you know my name?

Makes no never mind.
Goodbye, Mr. Duke.

That ain't no way to
start a lasting friendship.

Dixie's still on that stage.

- Come on.
- Go.

Hyah! Get up! Get up!

You know, friends and
neighbors, there's something

about Hazzard County
that makes anything

with wheels get out of control.

Darn it. It's $ ,
and now it's gone.

Who was that gunslinger?
Where'd he come from anyway?

I don't know. But I
tell you this, brother.

We ain't givin' up on that
money. You've got my word on it.

We're gonna settle the score
or my name ain't Jesse James.

Hyah!

Yeah, don't mention it.

- You alright?
- Yeah, thanks.

Well, you're right. They figured
there's a Duke on that stage.

If we hadn't planned
on you riding along

we'd be pushing
up daisies by now.

No doubt about it.

This Thadius Hogg, Uncle
Jeremiah wrote us about

is one shrewd little feller.

And he wants that farm bad.

You reckon they
figure you're a Duke?

Maybe, maybe not.

I'm hopin' they think I'm
a loner who came along

at the wrong time.

All we can do is play our hand

and hope we pick up
what this Hogg will do next.

'I'll tell you what.'

I'm gonna get myself a
job as a dance-hall girl

on Hogg's saloon. while you
ride into town like you're drifting.

They already know
what I look like.

I'll go to the farm, help out
Uncle Jeremiah and Aunt Jenny.

Maybe, they'll think you're the
only kin with the time and guts.

- Yes, they will.
- See you later.

- Come on, girl.
- Okay.

As the Dukes headed for
Sleepy City to play their hand out.

Thadius was playing his
hand at showdown poker

Hogg-style... cheatin'.

Reckon it runs in the family.

Oh! Dropped one of my cards.

I'll just get it over
here, don't you know.

- Heh, here it is.
- Right.

Hm. Well, my raise, huh?

- There we are.
- I'm gonna have to see it Hogg.

Oh, yeah? Well, four
aces. Read 'em and weep.

You dropped this card, Mr. Hogg.

- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't.
- Yes, there.

Dagblast it. Rufus, I don't
know what I'd do without you.

But I sure aim to
start to find out.

Well, I'm sorry
about that, Mr. Hogg

but I didn't know you weren't
playing with a full hand.

That's because you ain't
playing with a full deck.

You know what you just
done? You just cost me..

- Your next month's salary.
- My next month's salary.

- But-but...
- Button up, button-head.

- Now, listen and listen good.
- Mm.

When that stage comes
in, Jeremiah Duke finds out

that he ain't gonna get no
help, maybe he'll give up

clear out and take all
them other farmers with him.

Then all them
cattlepeople will come back

and wake up Sleepy City.

Mm-mm-mm. I got a
lot of money vested here.

'Oh, look at that.'

Come on, get up there. Whoa.

- Howdy.
- Howdy.

It was a pleasure getting a
ride along with you, Miss Dixie.

Pleasure was all mine, Mr. Duke.

Thought you said no Dukes
were coming in on that stage.

Well, something
must've gone wrong.

The only thing went
wrong was letting you

handle this in the first place.

- You must be my Uncle Jeremiah.
- That's right.

How do you do, sir?

And this fine young
lady's gotta be Aunt Jenny.

I sure am.

And you look too much like
your father not to be Joseph.

Yes, sir, I am.

This is our friend,
Jeeter Davenport.

Oh, how do you do?

I am the town blacksmith
and am proud to say

I'm a friend of your
aunt and your uncle.

Excuse me, this young
lady here's name is Dixie.

She's, just riding into town
hopin' she can find a job

at the local saloon.

- So nice to meet you.
- How do you do?

Uh, you the only Duke
that could make it?

Well, uh, yes, sir. You see the
others do send their apologies.

'They just couldn't get away.'

Morning, Jeremiah,
Jenny, Jeeter.

Oh, heh-heh, just
who have we here?

'That's our nephew, Joe Duke.'

He come to visit us for a spell.

Well, I'm pleased to
meet up with you, Joe.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Hogg.

I've, uh, heard so
much about you.

You better... count your
fingers just to be safe.

Eh, he's safe
enough in Sleepy City.

Safe.

Oh, sure. We got the best
sheriff money could buy.

'Rufus Z Coltrane.'

Fastest g*n in the West.

Second fastest. Well..

Oh!

- Yeah, but the slowest brain.
- Well, welcome to Sleepy City.

Gateway to the promised land.

Well, somebody went
and broke that promise.

What the little lady is
trying to say is, sheriff

we've already been
welcomed to Sleepy City.

On the way in here by
a couple of six-sh**t.

'Some bandits tried
to hold up the coach.'

But thanks to Joe
here and some stranger

they were able
to drive them off.

Well, I'm much obliged
to you for your help.

- We run a clean town here.
- Clean.

More like somebody
cleaned it out.

Joe, you've had quite a day.

Best we'd be getting
back to the farm

before something else goes
burnin' down. Right, Mr. Hogg?

I heard about that.
Tsk-tsk-tsk. Terrible thing.

Terrible.

I sure hope nothin else terrible
happens to you good folk.

Well, I'm gonna stick
around here and see

if I can't see that it don't.

Miss Dixie, if you wouldn't
mind I surely would like to come

calling on you later.

- I'd like that.
- Good.

Well, the buckboard's
right over here.

Pleasure to meet you,
Mr. Hogg. Sheriff, Jeeter, Joe.

They're quite a pair.

Alright, boys, let's go home.

- Mr. Hogg.
- Hm?

You wouldn't have
any job openings

at the Golden Palace
Saloon, would you?

Job openings?

Afraid not, what with business
being as dead as it is here.

If it was deader, we'd have
to shut the lid and nail it shut.

Come to think of it
though, pretty gal like you

might just stir
up a little trade.

She stirs me.

I'll give you percent of
all the drinks you can sell.

- Take it or leave it.
- I'll take it. When do I start?

You just did. Go on get
over there in that saloon.

They'll give you very pretty
work clothes to get into.

- Mr. Hogg.
- Mm?

- Thank you for the opportunity.
- Don't mention it.

Yeah, don't mention it.

So..

That fella Joe Duke's the help
Jeremiah was waiting on, huh?

Well, I don't think you
have to worry about him any.

Hell, I better not have to.

- Just look around you.
- Where?

What do you see?

There's only one thing
making this place a ghost town.

- A ghost?
- No, the farmers!

The farmers like them Dukes.

They're driving out the
cattle and the cattle people.

They're driving them out west.

'Trying to put Sleepy
City to sleep forever.'

Well, I just ain't
gonna let that happen.

Alright, go on,
take that moneybox.

- Come on, get a hold of it!
- You know something...

I'll put it in my
safe till the..

Wait till the next
stage goes out.

- Ugh! You know something?
- What?

It's a good thing
those g*n hands I hired

don't let me get near 'em, I'd
give 'em a piece of my mind.

It better be a little piece, you
sure ain't got much to spare.

Them fellers are coming
back for the very money

that the sheriff's
carrying right now.

I'm not the only one
here, matter of fact

Hank and Dixie are both in town.

You mean that sweet little girl
we met at the stop is our niece?

That's right. She's
your niece, my cousin.

And, uh, she only wanted
that job at Hogg's saloon

so she could maybe
listen in on his plans.

What about my
other nephew, Hank?

As a matter of fact he ought
to be riding through town now.

He's pretending to be a
drifter, just passin' through.

Joe, if, those outlaws
are who I think they are

he just as liable to have a
b*llet passing through him.

Jeeter, I wouldn't
worry much about that.

They won't be showing
their face in town

especially not after they
tried to rob the stage once.

'Unless they are
the James brothers.'

I heard they were in
this neck of the woods.

That holdup may have been
an excuse to get rid of you

and any other Dukes
that were on that stage.

- Frank and Jesse James?
- The very same.

No, I don't believe they'd
be working for Hogg.

When k*lling
comes natural to you

you'll work for whoever
will pay you the price.

You know, Joe, maybe you
should get a hold of Hank and Dixie

and the three of you
get out of Sleepy City.

Look, we appreciate
you wanting to help

but we don't want anything
to be happening to you.

Especially against hired
K*llers like the James boys.

No, sir, if I know my
cousins, and I believe I do.

We'll just stand pat.

Best get on into town tell
them what we're dealing against.

Thanks for the pie!

Back in town, Dixie
was all ready for work

in time for the peak
crowd at the saloon.

- Why don't you swat him?
- What for?

He's the first one that's
been up to this bar all week.

You ever think of giving
away free lunches?

Uh-huh!

And all we ever got
was him and his friends.

Well, what do you know?
We got us a paying customer.

- Buy you a drink, little lady?
- Why not?

Champagne?

Anything your
little heart desires.

Two beers!

- Catch anything yet?
- Only a draft.

Except for Hogg and the sheriff,
it seems like all the other rats

have left town.

I can't says I blame 'em.

Where's Hogg now?

In his office, with the sheriff.

Easy, easy, easy does it.

That's my back you're
scrubbing, not a barroom floor.

Well, this is not exactly
the kind of work I do.

Well, tell me what kind
of work it is you do do?

So when I fire you as sheriff.

I'll know what kind
of work you're out of.

Now just scrub gentle, please.

My skin is as soft
as a two-minute egg.

- Well...
- And hush up!

I'm trying to think of
what I'm gonna do next

to get them Dukes
off of their land.

- Wait a minute. Wait.
- What?

Where's my duck?

You know I can't bathe
and think at the same time

without my little duck.

He was floating around a
while ago. Let's see if I can find it.

Yeah, you should
probably poke around here..

- There it is! Let go.
- I got it. I got it.

- Let go! Let go!
- I got it..

- You broke it.
- Uh-oh.

Look at that!

- You broke my duck.
- Well..

How am I supposed to
think with a broken duck?

Listen, would it make you
happy if I went "Quack, quack?"

It might. I'll tell you what
would make me happier.

What?

You just flap your
wings and fly out of here.

You know something, brother?

I'll bet this here horse
belongs to that fella

we just met a little while ago.

- It's him, alright.
- Figured as much.

This here envelope in the
saddlebag says, "Mr. Hank Duke."

Let's go show this to Hogg.

Sure looks like Hank's gonna
find out about the James boys

long before Joe can get
to Sleepy City to warn him.

Alright, now I'm
feeling better...

Yeah, me too...

- Say, how about a little game?
- I don't mind if I do.

- Uh, ten cents a ball?
- That much, huh?

- Yeah, you break!
- I'll break it.

- Yeah, a little chalk here.
- Yeah, go ahead.

Oh! Don't know your
own strength, huh?

Alright, come on. Come
on, come on, come on.

Alright.

I'm a little handicapped here.

This cue stick's as crooked
as a prairie dog's hind leg.

No excuses. Come on, sh**t.

Sheriff!

D'oh!

Rufus, you dimwitted, lame
brained, half-developed...

Well, it ain't my fault!

These hombrescome
bargin' in here

when I was just
getting ready to sh**t.

Yeah, you're right.
It ain't your fault.

Who do you think you are
come bargin' in without knocking?

Well, I'll tell you
who they are.

They're a couple of lily-livered
lowlife, sod busting idiots.

That I hired to do a little job

of stopping one
Duke on a stagecoach

and they couldn't do
that. You know something?

You know what I ought to do?

You ought to what?

I ought to ask, what
happened out there?

Well, they kinda
took us by surprise.

What do you mean by "they"?

There was only one
Duke on that stage.

There was one in the bushes,
and he got the drop on us.

He's outside in your bar
right now. Name's Hank Duke.

- Hank Duke.
- Hank Duke.

Hell, hell, don't worry
about Hank Duke.

Because I'll whip
him and flip him.

I mean, I'll wine
him and dine him.

- I'll slick him and stick...
- Just, just..

- Just put that g*n away.
- I'll just p...

Now!

Argh!

Sorry about that, hair trigger.

You mean
"harebrained," don't you?

Don't ever take that g*n out of
the holster again. You hear me?

You listen to Mr. Hogg.
We'll take care of Mr. Duke.

- We got a score to settle.
- And that other one, too.

I've said it once, I've
said it times.

I don't want no gunplay.
I use brains... not b*ll*ts.

Alright, now listen
and listen good.

'We're gonna get
rid of this Hank Duke.'

But we're gonna
do it legal-like.

Yeah, we're gonna do
it... How we gonna do that?

'I'll tell you how.'

What's the worst crime
a man can commit here?

I don't know,
probably bank robbin'.

I take that back. It's m*rder
by bushwhackin' in the back.

- Huh?
- No, no, drinkin' and riding.

- Wrong, wrong, and wrong again.
- Double wrong.

I'm talking about
horse thieving.

He can't be horse thievin'.
The guy's in the bar.

They don't allow
horses in the saloon.

Well, he's got a horse
hitched up outside, don't he?

And... he's got a cousin, too

who might just be helping
him steal them horses

and rustle that cattle
and who knows what else.

Alright, come on.
The sheriff and me..

We'll go set up this Hank Duke.

Mean time..

You boys get out and make
sure he stays inside the saloon.

Huh? Oh.

You gonna let Hogg
run the show, Jesse?

I'm just letting
him bury himself.

Come on, honey.

I think it's time you had
a drink with a real man.

As if you'd know
where to find one.

Unhand that lady.

Your manners ain't improved
since the last time I seen you.

Seems to me you're
getting a little hot

under the collar there, friend.

You need something
to cool you off.

Aah!

You gentlemen, uh, care
to make it two against two?

My pleasure.

- Ready to change partners?
- I thought you'd never ask.

Oh!

'Come on, sheriff.
Hey, hey, wait a minute.'

Wait a minute. Hold everything.

Alright, you done
this. Now do your duty.

Sheriff, these are the men right
here they're responsible for it.

Oh, hush up, gal.

I wanna know, first of all..

Whose horse that is
hitched up out front?

I'm talking about
the brown gelding

with the brown saddlebag.

I guess you're talking
about mine. Why?

Well, it seems that the horse
under that particular saddlebag

belongs to Mr. Hogg here.

So I'm gonna arrest
you for horse thieving.

I don't think so.
That's my horse.

He's bought and paid for.

Not with my brand
on him, he ain't.

Alright, sheriff, take him away.

And while you're at it

I want you to
arrest that one too

suspected of being
his accomplice.

Alright, make one move
and you'll make my day.

Alright, hand over those...

Get your hands off of me!

'Get this tub of
lard off of me.'

'I'll tear you apart, Duke.'

'Get out of my way, fat man!'

'Let's see what we've got here.'

We got this one!
Get the other one!

Don't let him get away!

- He's as good as got!
- Good.

Why don't we go for
the money, Jesse?

Let's forget about them Dukes.

Because I don't rest
until I put both them Dukes

in the cold, cold ground,
and then we get the money

Hyah!

Joe planned to get
out of Sleepy City

then double back to help Hank.

The James boys were on
him like flies on apple butter.

Now, friends, if I had Frank
and Jesse James sh**t' at me

I don't think I'd stop
and pose for 'em.

Whoa.

We're gonna let
him et away, Jesse?

Aw, to hell with him.

Let's go get some dynamite..

And blow that safe
in Hogg's saloon.

Hyah!

You and your two-bit sheriff
ain't gonna get away with this.

Well! Maybe, we will,
Mr. Duke and maybe we won't.

But anyhow, justice
must be served..

Horse thieving is about the
worst crime a man can commit.

- Ain't that true, sheriff?
- Right, it's the worst.

I mean, chickens are bad

but horse stealing,
that's a real no-no.

It's the worst. Come on!

- Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Well, I'm coming.

- These boots are k*lling..
- Let's get..

- Oh, would you look at this?
- Well.

The wheel's about to come off.

- Well, it came off.
- Oh! It did, alright...

I'll go down to Jeeter
and get this thing fixed.

No, never mind about that.

I gotta get this
thing done with.

We'll take this wagon.
Come on! Get in there.

Alright! Let's get in there.

Let's just mount up here.
Here you go, right there.

- Alright.
- Come on! Come on! Let's go.

- Where are we going?
- We're going to the Duke farm.

- Ah, Duke farm.
- To get their land.

- Get their land?
- Well, of course.

Why do you think I had Hank
Duke arrested for thieving?

Wait! Let me guess.
Put him in prison?

- Wrong, you numbskull.
- Put him on a chain...

No! No, so I could
get Jeremiah Duke

to sign over his land, to save
Hank Duke from going to prison.

Well, I'd have got it if you
gave me another guess.

That's a brilliant idea. I
wish I had thought of that.

Yeah! Well, you didn't because
you need brains to start with.

So go on, giddy up
them horses. Come on.

Giddy up, horsy. Come on.

'Come on, don't take all night.'

Well, it's that
left-hand one there.

- Alright!
- He's a little lazy sometimes.

- Off to the Duke farm.
- Off to the Duke farm.

- Dixie!
- Hey, hey!

- Girl, we gotta talk.
- I know.

Well, the bartender's out back.

Hogg framed you and Hank
real good and proper, didn't he?

Yeah, he sure as heck did.

I gotta figure a way
of getting Hank out

if I have to blast him out.

I don't think you
need to do that.

Come here and sit down.

I just found out that this
saloon supplies the prisoners

with their meals.
So, I thought...

While Dixie and Joe was
working a plan to free Hank from jail

Thadius and the sheriff was
giving Jeremiah and Jenny

the sad news about
their nephew, Hank.

You framed him real
good, didn't you, Thadius?

Jeremiah, you know I
wouldn't do a thing like that.

The fact is, Hank Duke
could go to jail for life..

If a necktie party
don't get him first.

'That's why I rode out
here with the sheriff.'

Out of my concern
for you people.

- You're all heart.
- I just wanna help.

And there is a chance... that we
could get Hank Duke out of jail.

And then, both him and that
other one Joe out of Sleep City.

Well, how?

By your signing over this
farmland... to yours truly.

This is compliments of
the Golden Palace Saloon.

Careful, it's hot.

Much obliged, ma'am.

Much obliged.

The plan to free Hank
was set into motion.

Trouble was, nobody had
told Jeremiah or Jenny.

Jenny! Jenny,
now... don't you cry.

We're not gonna let them
hurt one hair on that boy's head.

'We're gonna look out for him.'

We love this place, but..

It's not worth getting
anyone hurt over.

- You win, Thadius.
- Excellent.

Now, I got that note of transfer
right here... for you to sign.

That's not important.

How do I know you're
gonna keep your word?

Well, I got that on paper, too.

Here it is. Dropping all
charges against Hank Duke

and guaranteeing both your
nephews safe conduct home.

Alright, I'll sign mine...
and you sign yours..

And we'll sign at the same time.

That's the idea.

Now! As soon as I
get this in my safe

well, I'll see to your
nephew's release.

Come on, sheriff.

Deputy.

Hey, deputy!

I'd like to check out of
this here establishment.

Hank is certainly
taking his time, huh?

Hope he gets out of there
before the sheriff returns.

Hank didn't have
much trouble getting out.

It was outside that
trouble was waiting.

What with the James
boys back in town

to blow the safe
at Hogg's office.

Whoa.

Hey, hey, looks like
jail food agrees with you.

Much obliged for the
use of horses, Jeeter.

- Been a pleasure meetin' you.
- It was the least I could do.

Well, that sounded
like dynamite.

- Came from the saloon.
- That can only mean one thing.

- Somebody blew the safe.
- Well, good luck to them.

It ain't our concern if
Hogg's saloon gets robbed.

Hold on a second, that
don't belong to Hogg.

It's going to a bank in Atlanta.

In that case, we
better look into it.

I guess, I'm in.

I ain't been in a good
scrap since Second Bull Run.

Keep us covered
and we'll check out

the roofs on the
other side there.

Drop your g*ns and raise
your hands. You're covered.

What do you think you're doing?

sh**t at us, and
they're dead men.

You know, I reckon
the idea of fair play

came along a little later.

I'd round up a posse but
there ain't nobody left in town.

You know, the Dukes
always had their own way

about doing everything.

From getting in a car
to getting on a horse.

They're right behind us.

I can hear the hoof beats now.

Faster, faster.

Hey Frank, here they come!

Get down! Get down!

Keep your head down.

Yes, sir. Bo Duke and
Daisy Duke's grand folks

caught the notorious
James brothers.

'"And Thadius was so
grateful for saving his life'

'and his money."'

He signed the land
and the farm back to us.

- Hey! Oh! My goodness!
- Alright! Yeah!

But look! Now, listen to this.
"But just to make sure Thadius

"didn't have no change of heart

"Jeremiah hid the deed where
nobody would ever find it."

Where'd he hide it, Uncle Jesse?

"He buried it at the...
doorway to Hades

"filled with stones that only
the likes of the James boys

would crawl under."

Well, that don't make sense.

- No, sir, it don't.
- It's some sort of riddle.

She's giving us the clues.

If it's a riddle, I'm stumped.

Doorway to Hades?

Now where the heck
do you suppose that is?

Same place as the Pearly Gates.

- A cemetery.
- You got it!

But which cemetery?

"Filled with stones only
the likes of the James boys

would crawl under."

That's gotta be Boot Hill.

- It's gotta be.
- Yeah, let's go.

C'mon, c'mon! Warm her up!

Yeah, warm her
up and suck her up.

That's it. C'mon, c'mon!

Boss, leave that
bulldozer right where it sits.

Wait till we get back and
we'll decide who's trespassing?

What're you talking about?

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Wonder what made
them go off like that.

I don't know, but they got
something cooking in their oven.

- C'mon we gotta grab 'em!
- Oh, yeah!

- Take the lid out!
- Hot pursuit!

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

Don't let 'em get away too long!

C'mon, after 'em! After 'em!

Boot Hill..

Right here's where they
buried all the horse thieves

and bank robbers.

Anybody bring a shovel?

C'mon, step on it, will ya?

There's nothing out
this way except Boot Hill.

- I knew that, aha!
- They're up to something.

Right! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

'Wait a minute there, wait
a minute. C'mon, Rosco!'

I don't know what
you two are doing

'but you're destroying
private property.'

- Found it.
- You found what?

Well, whatever it is, it
belongs to Hazzard County.

You hear me?

Maybe this box
belongs to you, Boss.

This here paper from
Jeremiah says that

The Duke farm belongs to us.

There it is, J.D.
Read it and weep.

Listen. I filed a deed,
first thing this morning

registering this property.

Unless the one you're
holding is filed and registered

your farming land
still belong to me.

Well, we'd just have
to re-register it, again.

No, you don't. You
ain't goin' nowhere.

Rosco, arrest these
two! Cooter too!

'For disturbing County property'

and the peace of
them resting in peace.

Alright, J.D.

Put out your pretty little arm..

'Help me out with
this hat, I can't see!'

C'mon, c'mon! That way!

They'll never catch 'em!

- C'mon, c'mon, speed
up - It's not getting..

We won't shake 'em this way.

Don't worry about it, I will..

Right around the next bend.

I'm thinking we should check
to see how Hogg grain is today.

Go for it!

- How?
- How did they do that?

Don't you drive in!

How're they doing?

They're doing just fine.

I think Boss just bottomed
all the grain market, though.

Boss and Rosco
weren't able to move.

Boss couldn't get
his hands on the note

but transferred the
property back to the Dukes.

So, Boss had to settle for
his monthly mortgage payment

and get off the Duke farm

or be charged with trespassing.

Once again, the
Dukes had won out.

I'll just tell ya', them folks in
Hazzard, has got themselves

some kind of karma that
just keeps on keeping on.