05x03 - Therapy

[bunniefuu]

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ I love you like I do ♪

♪ Tell me who ♪

♪ Can stop my heart
as much as you ♪

♪ Let's take each other's hand ♪

♪ As we jump into ♪

♪ The final frontier ♪

♪ Mad about you, baby ♪

Also, personally myself,
I loved lou costello.

Your father hated him.
Couldn't stand him. Loved abbott.

Only person I ever met who
loved abbott and hated costello.

Paul: really? Why was that?

Actually, there's a funny story.

Where's a funny story?

So far, nowhere.

I'm making a film about buchmans

That buchmans
won't even wanna see.

It'll come together.
It always does.

Aren't you sh**ting
your parents today?

Yeah. That'll spice things up.

They're entertaining,
aren't they?

Oh, they are
wildly entertaining.

Wow, you look nice.

I do? You swear?

Hand to god, you look good.

Thank you.

Murray: [woof woof woof]

Murray, calm down.

He's scared of that
thing, that bibli-b...

Bibliothèque. Whatever it is.

[Woof woof woof]

Look, honey, nice bibliothèque.

[Woof woof woof]

I think it's the word
"bibliothèque" that he's scared of.

If we just called it what it is,

A spinning, wooden book thing...

[Woof woof woof]

Hates that, too.

I like it. I think it's unique.

Unique is not the same as good.

You hate it?

Not to the point
of barking at it,

But I don't love it.

Uh-oh.

What's the matter?

What's today, the th?

Uh, ok.

We're supposed to see
that therapist today.

What therapist?

You remember that therapist?

We don't have a therapist.

When we were having
troubles, and we thought

We should see one,
fran recommended one.

Oh, the therapist
that fran recommended

When we were having trouble,

And we thought we
should see one? Yeah.

Remember? No,
she couldn't see us.

She couldn't see us right away.

We still made an appointment,
and it's today at : .

Call her and tell her we don't
need her anymore. We're fine.

Ok. You sure?

What? Well... What,
we're not fine?

No, we're fine.

Didn't you say you felt
that we're closer than ever?

Yes, I did. So?

Ok.

It's really hard to get
an appointment with her.

Yeah, but so what?

It's like if somebody, you know,

Got me a great
deal on a tractor.

I guess, plus it's right
smack in the middle of the day.

Aren't you workin'?
Yeah, and you're working.

That's exactly when
I'm filming my parents.

All right, we'll cancel.

Cancel.

She may make us
pay for it anyway.

You know what? I'm canceling.

What I'm hoping is if this thing
goes well with my parents,

I'd love them to be the
centerpiece of the film.

If I get them talking
about other relatives,

Then I cut to interviews that I
get with all the other relatives,

And my parents become the
throughline for the whole...

What's the matter?
Maybe we should go.

Why?

I don't know. We're
happy, aren't we?

Yes. So?

What if we're happy
for the wrong reasons?

I... I... I'll take that.

What if it's just because
we're having a baby?

I'll take that.

What if the baby is
just distracting us,

Like the problems
are still there,

Growing and festering
beneath the surface?

I'll take that.

I'm sure that's not
what's happening.

It's really not.

Wouldn't it be
reassuring to hear that

From a professional therapist?

Sweetie, my feeling
is if it ain't broke,

Don't ask it about
its childhood.

I really think we
need to do this.

Really? So I'll call work
and tell 'em I'll be late?

Ok. I will call my parents.

I'll tell them I'll
be there late, too.

I'm not tellin'
them why, though.

God no.

[Woof woof woof]

Let me just understand this.

You and i, who are very happy,

We're gonna go see a shrink,

But a dog who's
barking at furniture,

He gets to stay home and relax?

Uh-huh. All right.

Murray: [woof woof]

So what brings you here?

Um... Actually, nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing?

Nothing.

We are here literally
for no reason.

So for those few weeks
there, it was pretty rough.

Therapist: mm-hmm.

But since then, we've
been closer than ever.

Mm-hmm.

The whole thing made us
appreciate what we have.

Mm-hmm.

Ok, at this moment, I gotta say,

It seems like you
have a very easy job.

So, are we ok? Tell us we're ok.

Please tell her.

It's hard to say.

It's really not.

Can we try something?

Ok.

What I'd like you to do
is to talk to each other,

Each of you pretending
to be the other person.

Ok. Boy, can I just tell
ya that's not something...

I know. You'll feel a
little self-conscious,

But just give it a try.

Ok. You go first.

You go first.

I did. That was me pretending
to be you saying, "go first."

All right. Jamie... Yes, paul?

This is incredibly silly.

It really is.

Ok, your turn.

Go ahead.

Ok. Don't rush me. I'm you.
Would you wanna be rushed?

No.

All right.

Hey, paul...

Yes, jamie?

You were right. We
didn't need to come here.

I feel... I feel...
What do I feel?

I feel... I feel nothing in
my right leg, I know that.

Can we try something else?

Sure.

Ok.

I'd like you to try being
totally honest with each other.

We're always honest.

We really are.

Tell jamie how
you feel about her.

Good. Really good.

Tell her.

Jamie... I feel good about you.

Be honest.

What? I do. I feel good.

Is that all? Yeah.

Because if you keep
your feelings inside,

You're not helping anyone.

Who's keeping? I'm not keeping.

How do you feel about jamie
right now? Totally honest.

Good. Really good.

Therapist: just good?

Yeah.

Ok. Maybe with like the
tiniest dollop of angry.

But mostly really good.

Angry?

Just like a sprinkle... A sprinkle
of angry in a big bowl of good,

Just for flavoring there.

Angry about what?

Makin' me come to this
when I got a movie to sh**t,

But it's not a big deal.

Ok, jamie, how do you
feel about what paul said?

Angry.

You went straight to the angry?

I gave you all that
good right up front.

It's harder for me to
get here than it is for you,

But I made time because
it's important to us.

Jamie, instead of becoming
defensive at conflict,

Try making yourself vulnerable.

Expose yourself.
Take an emotional risk.

Most anger comes from
fear. Share your fears with him.

My fears, my fears, my fears.

I'm afraid of heights,

And you're selfish to
put your job ahead of us.

First of all, not
wanting to come here

Doesn't mean that I don't
care about the marr...

I care enormously about
the marriage. You know that.

I just didn't wanna waste a
whole half a day of sh**ting.

This is so typical. What?

Never mind.

No, no, never mind.
See what happens now?

If you're asking...
Never mind. Never mind.

No, because you... What?

What did I do?

I'm trying... There's that tone.

There's no tone.
Oh, I hear a tone.

What you're hearing is not tone.

Well, I'm hearing a tone.

Maybe you're tone deaf.

Maybe I am.

Uh, excuse me.

Excuse me. I'm
afraid our time is up.

I beg your pardon?

Here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna sit under the
camera, I'm gonna say action,

And I want you guys to
start with how you met, ok?

Talk about how you
met, and the main thing is,

Just relax, ok? Forget
about the cameras.

Forget we're all here. Just
be yourselves, all right?

Roll film.

We're speedin'.

Ok. You ready?

And...

Action.

Which, as you know, means talk.

But the light's not on.

There's no light. This
is film. Video has light.

Film... Video, film...
Not the same thing.

All right. All right. All right.

Let's try it again.
And... Action.

Which I mentioned
earlier means to talk.

Burt: about what?

About how you two met.

All right. Yeah. Uh...

A friend introduced us,

He asked me out, and I said yes.

And then what?

We went on a date.

Ok. Where did you go?

To the movies.

And dinner.

We went to dinner
and the movies.

Ok. Good. Did, um,
do ya remember, uh,

Do ya remember
anything, anything special,

Anything interesting
about that night?

No. No.

Any details or
anything like that?

No. No.

Ok, cut.

All right, you know what?

I may have misled you
when I said be yourselves.

Forget it. I want
you to perform,

But pretend like it's
broadway, it's opening night,

Your own two-person show.

You're telling a
story. Dazzle them.

I want you to dazzle
them, all right?

So why didn't you say
that the first time?

'Cause I'm an idiot. I
don't know why. All right.

All right, roll film. All right.

We're speedin'.

Here we go. Plenty
of energy, enthusiasm.

Pop, you ready? And... Action.

A friend introduced us, he
asked me out, and I said yes.

I took her to the
movies and dinner.

Dinner and the movies.

Cut.

So what was wrong
with that, mr. De mille?

Nothin'. You did terrific.

I was just wondering
maybe we could do it

A little bit more terrific.

More terrific? How?

What are you saying?

Nothing.

What do you mean? I
can see by your face.

If there's something
wrong, just tell me.

Ok. Well, let me be honest.

Yes. Absolutely.

Because you keep
your feelings inside,

You're not helpin' anybody.

Sylvia: right.

My fear, ok? My fear
is that the two of you...

You may be coming off

In an uninteresting way.

I see. We bore you.

No, no, no, no, no, you don't
understand. You don't bore me,

But to the camera...

Did you hear that, burt?
We're not boring him,

We're just boring
to everybody else.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

If we're so boring, why
don't you sh**t the couch?

It's got a very lively pattern.

Uh, mom, that... [Door closes]

So, we're done?

Troy: well, look who
missed all the excitement.

I... I had an appointment
that I couldn't get out of.

An appointment you
couldn't get out of.

You had to have your roots done?

You didn't wanna
miss cardio-funk?

♪ There's a bright golden
haze on the meadow ♪

♪ There's a bright golden
haze on the meadow ♪

♪ The corn is as high
as an elephant's eye ♪

Lance, what's going on?

Ha ha ha. Well, it's kind
of a funny story, actually.

I was giving my
speech on health care

To a group of school children,
and I thought it germane

To mention some ways I personally
have benefited from modern medicine.

The example sprang to mind of
how I've been helped by prozac, so...

Oh, my god.

See? See what ya missed?

I don't know what you two are so
concerned about. I'm not worried at all.

Of course not 'cause
you're on... Prozac?

I'm finding it very hard
to get upset about this.

Ok.

Ok. Ok. Um... Here's
what we'll do.

I have a plan.

The news is out,
so we'll go with it.

If I might...

You will explain
that you take prozac

To treat a very minor condition,

And that it isn't a big deal.

Why do you actually take it?

To control debilitating
panic att*cks.

Not that anyone asked,
but if it were up to me,

I would just merely admit that
you were on prozac ever so briefly...

A long, long time ago... And
that you haven't taken it in years.

Also, I'd move that table
that way, but that's for later.

Ok, that's ridiculous.
That would never work.

That's completely absurd.

First of all, you'd
have to give up prozac.

Now hold on, jamie.
Troy might be right.

You're gonna stop taking prozac?

Yes, you see, the great
thing about prozac

Is that being on it gives you
the strength to get off of it.

Well, if I may say, as your campaign
manager rather than your gopher,

I think it's a huge mistake.

Now, now, jamie, a
good idea is a good idea,

No matter where it comes from.

Look, paul, why don't
we just take off?

We're gonna get this on film.

Ma, let me... Again,
let me say I'm sorry.

It's not your fault I'm boring.

Maybe I should apologize to you

For making you listen to me.

Uh, sonny, excuse me,
you're gonna make a mess.

Ma, it was wrong
of me to say that,

And I see that. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Forgive...

Pop, you're not
mad at me, are ya?

He's furious.

Can I at least explain
to you what happened?

Jamie and I went to therapy.

You went to therapy?

We went one time.
You're in therapy?

I wouldn't say we're in.

Oh, now I understand.

You do?

Everything's blamed
on the mother,

And I am the mother.

No. No.

No. Listen, it's not my
fault you were bottle-fed.

That's what they
did in those days.

Who was saying anything...

Listen, I am no worse
than the other mothers.

What about jerry
markowitz's mother?

She wouldn't even let
him join the cub scouts.

She was afraid the
kerchief would choke him.

Nobody... Ma... You
happy now, burt?

Me?

Yes. Your daughter's gay,
your son is a mental case.

Thank god, sharon
lives in new jersey.

Ma, there's no reason...
Sit on the couch...

Apparently I was bottle-fed.

Lance? Aah!

You have got to help me, jamie.

I'm in over my head,
and I cannot get out.

Help me, jamie. Help me.

Ok. Ok. [Whimpers]

I should not be
going out, jamie.

I am in no condition to go out.

Ever since I went off
prozac, I am at wit's end.

Ok. If I may say, you've only
been off prozac for minutes.

It's possible it's
your imagination.

No, no, no. I realize perfectly

That this is a
psychosomatic disorder,

But the most salient aspect
of psychosomatic disorders

Is that knowing that
they're psychosomatic

Does nothing to ameliorate
the terror they instill.

the new england
journal of medicine...

Lance... Jamie, I'm talking!!

Jamie, I think the best
thing for lance right now

Is for you to stay out
of his hair a little while.

Excuse me.

That's all right.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Troy... I'm going to
take an emotional risk.

I feel uncomfortable
with the expanded role

You've taken in this campaign.

I feel you're not
respecting my boundaries,

And if I may be honest,

My fear is you're
making a play for my job,

Which makes me feel
hurt and frightened.

Can I be honest with you?

Sure.

I don't care.

Things have changed,

And you're gonna have to
start treating me like an equal.

Equal? I'm a salaried
campaign manager.

You're the coffee boy. Why
don't you get me some equal?

Ok, but lance...

No, no, no. I'm not
having this conversation.

I'm running this campaign.

You're gettin' the coffee.

All right, I'll get the coffee,

But no more running across
the street for frozen yogurt.

Really?

All right.

Troy: I'm goin' on a
yogurt run, people.

Lance...

You're going back on prozac.

I am?

Wow, what a waste of a day.

Would you please look
at the mess you made?

Ma, I can only say I'm sorry.

Let me run to the bathroom,

And we'll be out of your hair.

In two minutes, we'll be gone.

I don't know what
he's so upset about.

We went to dinner
and the movies.

Everybody goes to
dinner and the movies.

There's nothing
special about that.

Oh, yeah? Which restaurant?

Would you remember the
name of the restaurant?

Emilio's.

Right. And we had pot roast.

That was a tender piece of meat.

Oh, please. It was marbled
just like michelangelo's david.

Do you remember that man who
sat behind us? He was a gangster.

What was his name?

Oh, frank costello.

Yeah. He was alive then.

He walked over to
our table and said to me,

"You have a very beautiful
young lady with you tonight."

Meaning me.

And then he said,

"Do you mind if I
dance with her?"

And I says, as a
matter of fact, I do.

And then... Wait. Frank costello
patted the left side of his jacket

Because he had a g*n, and
burt reached for his belt,

And costello thought
he had a g*n, too,

But, actually, he was
just loosening his pants.

I had two desserts.

Can you imagine?

The so-called king of
the mobsters backed down.

He d*ed two days later.

My husband, paulie's father,

Stood up to lou costello.

What was that? Who
stood up to lou costello?

Frank costello.

Frank costello, the gangster?

It's no big deal to
stand up to lou costello.

What's he gonna do,
hit you with his hat?

You stoop up to frank costello?

Look, now he's interested.

Did you get any of this?

We can get it now.

Yes.

Why didn't you tell this to me?

What? I thought you knew.

[Ding]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey. Hi.

Hi.

I called the therapist today

And told her we
weren't coming back.

That's good.

Isn't it?

I guess. It was
stupid to go, right?

Well, nah, it wasn't stupid.

You didn't know.

[Ding]

What?

I didn't know.

It was your idea
to go to therapy.

So you're saying it's my fault.

No. I did not use
the word "fault."

Oh, but that's what you meant.

I wanted us to go to therapy.

I bought the bibliothèque.

I kissed doug berkus.

We never seem to mention

That you almost went
home with some woman

Whose name I never
even asked you.

Wow. Where'd this all come from?

I'm not sure.

Want to talk about it?

At therapy?

Ok, so we'll go.

You sure?

Yeah.

You know, obviously
we have some problems,

Not big problems, not a lot
of problems, but it's, you know,

It's not like we're not...
We're not without...

Not no problems.

What?

We'll go to therapy.

Ok. Good.

'Cause you have problems,

Therapy is the way
you work 'em out.

Murray: [growling]

Unless you're a dog, and
then you just eat them.

Paul and jamie
buchman... Session one...

Conservatively speaking, only
to years for this couple,

Speaking of which,
call broker... Buy.

Paul seems defensive and
frightened of his own feelings.

They appear to be
very much in love,

But I sense repressed anger

Which he seems happy to ignore.

She, on the other hand,
has a vulnerable core

Which is masked in a
shark-like surface.

Major conflicts will arise,

But, uh, that's what
keeps us in business.