02x07 - Don't Stretch the Rainbow

[bunniefuu]

I have a lot of liberal friends.

Ever try to argue
with liberal people?

If you're a liberal

I've got to go "fine"--

Every generalization,
every stereotype--

Nothing is true.

Okay, filipinos
don't eat dogs.

A lot of italian businesses

Are very legitimate.

Fine.

No, I've never seen
an italian woman

With a mustache.

A black man's butt
is not higher up

Than a white guy's butt.

Fine.

Black people have self-control
in movie theaters--

Sometimes they shut up.

Japanese tourists

Never have photo equipment--

Are always well endowed.

Jewish people are rushing
to pick up a check.

Okay, fine.

Chinese people
are excellent drivers.

Fine.

Puerto ricans

Are always using
birth control methods.

Fine.

Millions of mexicans
are at home right now

Without one velvet painting.

Fine.

Good night,
ladies and gentlemen.

Please stop it.

Thank you.

Stop it.

Please, I need some help.

It's amateur night,
ladies and gentlemen.

This is... Uh-oh.
Thank you. Hello!

Amateur night means
we bring on people

Who only think they're funny.

These jerks, these idiots--

They're flipping burgers

At jack in the box.

They make love, turn over
and tell a joke.

These morning djs--

Are they the worst?

They're all here.

We'll start the show

With this...
A high school kid.

His name is
marty seltzer.

Let's bring him out here,
ladies and gentlemen.

The comedy stylings

Of mr. Marty
seltzer.

Marty!

Let's bring him out here.

Marty seltzer--
is that a stage name?

I hope it's not.

You're just mad
'cause you're short.

( Audience is silent )

Uh, I'm sorry I'm late tonight,
but, uh...

( Feedback )

But i...

As I was driving in--

I'm really upset.

I'm freaking out.

I heard on the radio--

Anybody hear it?

One of my heroes, stevie wonder,
was arrested for m*rder.

Apparently stevie
got his eyesight back

And strangled the guy...

Apparently stevie
got his eyesight back

And k*lled the guy
who's been doing his hair

For the past
ten years.

He strangled him with his beads.

My girlfriend
went to a fat farm.

What do they grow?

My girlfriend,
she's always dieting.

She's on headcheese diet.

Anybody ever heard of a
headcheese sandwitch?

What is it?

Where do they get it?

♪ We never thought of finding ♪

♪ The place where we belong ♪

♪ Don't have to stand alone ♪

♪ We'll never let you fall ♪

♪ Don't need permission ♪

♪ To decide what you believe ♪

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ I said jump! ♪

♪ Down on jump street ♪

♪ I said jump! ♪

♪ Down on jump street ♪

♪ Your friends will be there ♪

♪When your back is
to the wall ♪

♪ You'll find you need us ♪

♪'Cause there's no one else
to call ♪

♪ When it looks hopeless ♪

♪ A decision's what you need ♪

♪ You better be ready to ♪

♪ Be ready to ♪

♪ Jump! ♪

♪ Jump street! ♪

Get off me!

Get off!

What are you
doing here?

I'm putting you through
your morning workout.

What do you think?

Lincoln's mark hardy

Executes a perfect
two point reversal

And three more for the pin!

Mark...

Come on.

Hey.

We got to talk.

I don't want to talk.

No!

Here it comes, right?

The old
romeo and juliet speech.

You're a montague,
and I'm a capulet...

And that's right.

West side story was a fluke?

West side story was a movie.

You get up at : a.m.
Just so we can hold hands.

So we just hold hands, huh?

You know what I mean.

Yes, I do.

You're afraid to be with me.

Like it would play
at your mom's bridge club.

Besides,
my father would have a stroke.

Your father likes me.

He tolerates you.

That can't
be a surprise.

Think about what's
happening at school.

Who cares?

I care.

Don't.

I hate the way
you are right now.

I have to tell you something.

What?

I can't.

Look, it's over.

Hey, y'all, a little help.

You want to toss me
the ball?

Ah! Ooh!
Almost got a window.

What the hell
you do that for, man?

Aw, hey, man...

♪ Do-wah,
do-wah, doo... ♪

What?

All I asked
you to do

Was give me back
the ball.

Hey, man, I tried

But I guess I'm not
as athletically inclined

As you people is.

Let him go,
tim.

When your old man
needs a job

My father's plant
needs a new janitor.

Please,
let him go.

Let him go.

We'll get you shines
bused back out of here.

Hanson, let's get to it.

And then you're back inside
right after lunch period.

Hoffs? Where's pendhall?

Not in 'till .

It is .

Apparently stevie got his
eyesight back and k*lled a guy
whos been fixing his hair.

Anybody ever had a
headcheese sandwitch?

I mean headcheese,
where do they get it?

There's a lot of racial tension
at lincoln high.

I see that.

Tell me something
I don't know.

I'm sorry, but I didn't make
the march on washington.

That's apparent.

Hoffs:
whoa!

Go easy, guys.

Back then
we couldn't join the force

Unless we out-tested
everybody else.

We'd hoped this stuff
had ended in

In newark, detroit.

This stuff
about whose country it is.

It stinks.

Doesn't it, harry?

Hey, captain,
I'm just glad
to be here.

Stereos cost
a lot in tokyo.

He understands you,
captain.

So do i.

Do you?

What about
howard beach
last year?

You understand that?

Recent administrations
opposing affirmative action.

Bernard goetz.

It's starting all over again.

Maybe it was only a fight.

Maybe it wasn't.

I'm not so sure
bernard goetz was wrong.

Back to the s, hoffs?

When black women
weren't getting

My kind
of jobs.

Hanson--

My report says
potential race riot.

Does that describe
what happened?

Call it a fist fight
for now

But don't tell
jesse jackson.

Yeah.

There are some
problems at lincoln.

There's a new black principal
in a mostly white school.

He's a nut
about the busing.

It could get worse.

Come on, captain.

I grew up with this
"whitey's got your job" stuff.

Hoffs, what does
your father do for a living?

You know what he does.

I want you to say it
out loud.

He's a dentist.

A dentist.

Mine was a bellboy.

Hanson, keep working
lincoln high

From the inside.

Sorry, I'm late.

I was working
on some stuff.

Okay, so stevie wonder
gets arrested for m*rder...

Whoa, tough room.

In general, I must admit
I was pleasantly surprised

By yesterday's
test results.

Although, tom...

Even though
you're new here

I'll expect better
next time.

Hydrogen peroxide
is what punk rockers use

To bleach their hair...

( Class laughs )

But is also rocket fuel.

Nice job.

You only
missed one.

I didn't miss any.

Rub it in.

Rub this, man:
it isn't wrong.

This answer's correct,
mr. Haller.

You did a great job, patrick

But I'm afraid it's not.

The hell it isn't.

Hanson:
take it easy.
It's an "a-".

This is crap.

Mr. Riley,
we'll discuss this later

And I'll explain...

Not later-- now.

Heat is energy.

Any idiot knows that.

I didn't.

( Class laughs )

Patrick, we'll talk after class.

Heat is energy.

I won't take an "a-"
on a perfect paper.

Heat is energy,
but energy isn't always heat.

That's crap, man.

Patrick, I have to ask you
to leave the class.

You don't have to ask.

( Door slams )

Mark:
nicky.

( Alarm ringing )

Single file.

No talking.

Recess.

Form a line
in an orderly fashion.

( Everyone talking at once )

( Students hoot and laugh )

You look good, man!

Get him!

Let's trash the school.

I think we should
call the police.

No.

We've got a race riot
going on here.

Watts was a race riot,
mr. Haller.

George,
we need help.

I'm the principal here, bill.

Go back to your classroom.

This will
settle down.

Please.

Mr. Messiah.

What's up with
the tears, champ?

I hate this, daddy.

It just takes some time.

That's all.

Ready for saturday?

This is a big meet

For both
of you.

Your daughter's more ready
than I am, sir.

She better be.

You haven't told him,
have you?

Oh, yeah, sure.

You don't get it,
do you?

"Marty seltzer"?

Penhall:
what's wrong
with that?

It's stupid.

You think jerry lewis
is just a funny name?

No.

The guy's a comical genius.

Just ask the french.

Lewis is big
box office in paris.

You know why?

'Cause
he's funny.

Pass me those wire cutters.

He is?

Watch it, penhall.

He's one of the greats.

You got him, hope,
skelton--

Very funny guys,
these guys are.

All of them--
except maybe hope.

( Tv audio tunes in )

Great, channel / !

You think it's my material?

Absolutely.

That stuff
with stevie wonder--

Him being
blind and all--

That ain't funny.

Headcheese?

Personally, I happen
to like headcheese.

Never offend your audience.

You want to be funny?

Listen to me.

I am funny.

When do you go on again?

Amateur night
is every tuesday.

That ain't a lot of time.

I want to be as funny
on stage as I am at work.

You're funny at work
'cause people hate being there

And they're bored.

Working a club,
you better have a product

'Cause people pay a cover.

You don't make them laugh,
it's like stealing.

Stealing?

Grand theft comedy.

( Electrical sparking
and expl*si*n )

Students:
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the united states of
america

And to the republic
for which it stands

One nation under god,
indivisible

With liberty
and justice for all.

n*gg*r.

h*nky.

Spic, mick, kike, wop

Chink, slope, gook, w*tback.

That should cover at least
some of the things

We can say to each other
that hurt.

Not all of them--

But some of them.

Nobody could cover them all.

No matter on what side
of those words

You happen to be

You've got to know
there are too many of them.

There's always going to be more.

So what?

I'm not the kind of guy
who gets a tear in his eye

Every time he hears
the "I have a dream" speech.

You don't have to like me.

I don't have to like you.

But nobody has done anything
bad enough here at lincoln high

To make anybody hate each other.

At least, not yet.

"H"

"A"

"T"

"E."

Simple word-- four letters.

"Hurt" has four letters, too.

And so does "love."

I'm not naive enough to ask you
to love each other

But I can ask you

To live with each other.

I'm new here.

When I came to your school

I brought a lot of black
boys and girls with me

Not to stir up trouble

Or act like a bleeding heart

That would turn the world

Into a wonderful,
loving rainbow.

I did it because I'm a man
who believes in following rules

And my rules tell me

I have to bus in a black student
population of percent.

Anybody has a problem with that,
I'd be glad to talk to them.

Anybody's parents have
a problem with that--

Can go to hell.

Now, on saturday...

Lincoln high has the honor

Of hosting the state finals
in track.

I'm asking all of us to look

Inside ourselves
and find the one thing

We all share.

I guess it's called pride.

Let that pride
help us act in a way

We can all be proud of.

Let it help us make
a little bigger footprint

In the sand--

Make it a little easier

For anyone
who wants to follow us.

Announcer:
get set.

Setrano off to a fast start
for central high.

He brings a string
of six consecutive victories

To this afternoon's meet.

Sheldon, for lincoln high,
in the number eight lane

Coming up to challenge

But setrano
clears the last hurdle.

Hi, anybody
sitting here?

You're that new kid,
aren't you?

Yeah.

Somebody said
you were kind of cute.

It's a rumor.

Setrano holds on
for the victory.

Sheldon, second

And roth, third, for lincoln.

All competitors
for the men's meter final

Please report
to the starting line.

( Coughing and gagging )

I'm sorry, daddy,
I'm sick.

I used to get sick
before a meet, too.

It's a different kind of sick.

Don't let them b*at you down.

You can always tell
a winner in the gate.

You're a winner.

Daddy, I've got to talk to you.

Any time, baby.

Win that race
out there today.

Win it in their
own back yard!

Win it for all the crap we had
to wade through to get here.

Good luck out there
today, mark.

Nicolette.

Lincoln high is proud to host

This year's track and field
state finals

And we thank you
for your support.

I thought if our parents
talked like that

We should tell them

To go to hell.

This is the final call
for the men's meter.

All competitors report to
the starting line at this time.

Next up, the final heat
of the meters

Featuring lincoln high's
own mark hardy

Holder of the state record.

Who do you
want to win?

Are you kidding? Mark!

Tammy:
he's a fox.

Hanson:
I want patrick riley.

He's my chemistry
lab partner.

I don't want any
of them to win.

The last
american liberal.

You should
talk to my dad.

Hanson:
no, thanks.

Ready?

Good luck, bud.

Are you okay?

If you've got
a problem with me

Let's settle it.

You're my rabbit
in this race.

I'm not
anybody's rabbit!

That's how we got
to the finals.

That's how you
got to the finals.

I just carried
your candle.

You think you can win
without that?

I know I can.

I know I can, too.

And if I do

You stay the hell away
from nicky messiah.

Are you good enough
to make that bet?

Runners, on your marks.

Get set.

Mark hardy has snatched
an early lead.

And now patrick riley
makes his move

Passing mark hardy
out on the last turn.

These two are racing
neck and neck.

We could be looking
at a new record

As both runners head
for the finish line.

Riley stumbles

As his teammate, mark hardy

Takes the men's meter
in a record time

Of . Seconds.

And it looks as though
patrick riley may have...

Leave me alone!

Get your hands off me!

You okay, man?

You're a real class act.

Who did you get to do this?

Who?

Who did you get
to do this?

Next up, the women's
, meter cross-country

And favorite--

Lincoln high's own
nicolette messiah.

( Horn honking )

( Loud thud )

( Siren wailing )

What do you think?

It doesn't matter
what I think.

Word's out that
some white teacher

Ran nicky down
on purpose.

Is that
a possibility?

I hope not.

I mean, I can't believe it
if they did.

I can.

It could have been

A su1c1de attempt.

Yeah, right. Sorry.

Hearing things like
"I can't believe it"

Makes me a little nuts.

I'm not buying
su1c1de.

Nicky's beautiful--

Had everything going for her.

Why would she try
and k*ll herself?

Because maybe the rainbow
wasn't enough.

That was my wife's
favorite play.

Mine, too.

What's going
to happen now?

Who knows?

There could be some kind
of retaliation.

All right, you stay close
to her.

Okey-doke.

Being black's been
very different for you.

I know.

It's hard for me to say
I'm sorry about how I feel

But I'm trying.

I know that, too.

I'm confused.

Still?

Yeah, still.

Listen, I got to ask you this.

Am I funny?

No.

Excuse me.

Is that true?

Sometimes.

Are you coming tuesday?

I don't know.

Hoffs, got a minute?

Only next of kin are allowed
to see miss messiah.

I told you that
I am next of kin.

I mean, I'm her boyfriend.

Messiah:
mark.

What are you doing here?

I want to see her.

I think you've
done enough already.

Nurse, no one sees
my daughter.

Mr. Messiah, is she going
to be okay?

Is she?

Is she going to be okay?

Why don't you
just go home?

Who's that?

That's mark hardy.

The guy's, like,
perfect in school.

What's he
doing here?

Maybe he's a friend
of nicky's.

Hey, hardy!

( g*nshots )

Stop! Freeze, police!

Stay with him.

All right, just be cool
and nobody gets hurt.

What are you
doing here, man?

Patrick.

Come out, patrick.

Easy,
drop the g*n.

What are you doing here, man?

I'm here.

What difference
does it make?

It makes
a hell of a difference, man.

You gonna bust
this renegade n*gga?

I'm a cop working undercover.

Yeah? You're doing
a hell of a job.

Look man, I like you.

Just stay out of this.

I can't.

Come on, drop the g*n, patrick.

Why should i?

Because this is wrong.

Wrong?

This is wrong?

Come on, man.

Nicky's in the hospital.

So you k*ll
someone else?

He's dead?

Drop the g*n, patrick.

( g*n hits floor )

Daddy.

Hi, baby.

I wanted to die.

But you didn't.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

Is my baby okay?

Yes.

Yes.

Do you know whose it is?

Mark.

I love him, daddy.

Don't hate me, daddy.

Boyd:
we going to let these shines
get away with this?

Crowd:
no!

Boy:
are we going to let
patrick riley and his brothers

Blow a hole in mark hardy?

Come on now,
he's one of our best.

Crowd:
no!

Now they say we can't even
get into our own school.

We need a day off to cool down.

I don't want to cool down!

I'm not going to let them
try and run us off

From where our parents
worked to get us to.

My old man moved out
of that cess pool

So he could
raise his family right.

Now they're moving
back in again.

Who says you
was raised right, boyd?

You love them so much, walter

Why don't you go live
with them, huh?

Why don't you let them
take your dad's job.

Since when your daddy
have a job to take?

( Students tittering )

Since today.

The day I start
getting one back for him.

Crowd:
yeah!

Boyd:
today is the day
we take back what's ours.

Crowd:
yeah!

( Students shouting )

You think this
is a good idea?

I doubt it.

But we still
got a job to do.

Let's get inside.

Maybe we should just
radio in to fuller.

And make him right?

No.

Okay, okay, I'm here.

I'm just a little worried.

Don't be.
You're with me.

Oh, I forgot-- the fonz.

n*gg*r lover!

Tim:
okay, so nicky's
going to be all right.

But how do we know they
didn't do it to her?

We don't.

But they know that
patrick riley sh*t mark.

But who started it?

You come in here after
the fact and under a badge.

( Crowd murmuring )

Maybe we shouldn't
believe you either.

Maybe not.

How is hardy?

Who cares, man?

Hey, man, I do.

I mean, he's my quarterback.

He won't be throwing passes
for a while, but he's okay.

So what you saying?

We should sit back and take it?

What I'm saying
is that somebody should try

To do what's right.

You can afford
to do what's right.

You're white.

That's right.

Me, I got to protect myself.

I'm going to do
what I got to do.

Yeah, that's right.

Nicky's pregnant, isn't she?

Who are you?

We're cops.

Terrific.

Come on, this is
getting a little ridic...

Look, mark

It's your baby, isn't it?

Yes.

I didn't want her
to have an abortion.

Is that why nicky
tried to k*ll herself?

There's a lot more
to it than that.

It's everything--

The baby, her father,
kids at school.

Who thought this was a racially
motivated attempted m*rder.

And you didn't say anything?

Why?

You got to help us.

( Siren wailing )

Yeah!

Let's go!

All right, let's do this!

Crowd:
yeah!

Are we going to sit around

And be knocked out
of our own school?

Crowd:
no!

( Students shouting )

There they are!

Let's get them!

Man:
back up.

Back up.

Back up.

( Horn honking
and siren wailing )

No one tried to k*ll me.

Look, you ain't got
to cover up for nobody.

Not after what they did to you.

I'm not.

I tried to k*ll myself.

I tried to do that because
I'm going to have a baby.

It's our baby.

( Crowd murmuring )

And we're going
to have it together

Whether you people
like it or not.

So if you want
to k*ll each other

Find a better reason.

( Rapping: )
♪ 'cause I'm a stand-up comic ♪

♪ Well, that's my line ♪

♪ And I'd like to know
your zodiac ♪

♪ Z-z-z-zodiac ♪

♪ Z-z-z... Z-z-z-zodiac sign ♪

Would someone tell me
what I'm doing here?

Relax, captain, penhall's
struggling with a career change.

At ten dollars a cover,
I hope he makes it.

♪ And then they talk about
a sock missing from a dryer ♪

Hey.

I thought you
were going on.

No way.

♪ 'Cause when I hit the stage ♪

♪ Well, I'm doing my thing ♪

♪ I'm more like l.l. Cool j
than I am like alan king. ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
this next guy, he's a janitor.

Somebody's got
to clean up this place.

I kid out of love.

Ladies and gentlemen,
let's welcome to our stage

The comedy stylings
of sal banducci.

Sal.

Sal, here you go.

Good luck.

Sal banducci?

Is that
another stage name?

Hey, no way, bub.

I didn't change mine
'cause once I knew you

My parents changed theirs.

M.c.:
All right, yeah!

Sorry I'm late,
but driving in tonight

I heard something
that just freaked me out--

Stevie wonder
was arrested for m*rder.

( Wild cheering and applause)

Martin luther king jr.:
I still have a dream.

It is a dream deeply rooted
in the american dream.

I have a dream that one day

This nation will rise up

And live out the true meaning
of its creed:

"We hold these truths
to be self-evident

That all men are created equal."

I have a dream

That one day
on the red hills of georgia

The sons of former slaves

And the sons
of former sl*ve owners

Will be able
to sit down together

At the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream.