02x03 - The Only Church in Town

[bunniefuu]

In 1972, a cr*ck commando unit
was sent to prison by a m*llitary court...

for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped
from a maximum-security stockade...

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government,
they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Give me another bottle. I want more.

There ain't no more.

What a wonderful surprise.

Perhaps you lovely ladies
care to join us, huh?

The noise is waking up the children.

No it ain't, sweetheart.
Kids love noise, don't you know that?

You've destroyed the classroom.
Look at this place!

Quiet. We don't need
additional noise from you.

Don't shut her up. I like it when she's mad.

Leave them alone. Everybody go to bed.

Now!

We'll have no more noise. The children
aren't the only ones who want to sleep.

Thank you.

How can you say "thank you" to them?

When are you going to stop
letting them control our lives?

When I'm no longer responsible
for the safety of 20 homeless children...

who have nothing in life
except this place and us.

Then, perhaps, I'll consider
your militant approach to peace.

Militant? We're the prisoners.

- They won't even let us fix our leaky roof.
- Goodnight.

I'm sick of this place.
When are we getting out of here?

We stay here till my leg heals.
I don't want any trouble out of you guys.

It's all right, children.
Quiet down.

It's hard to believe
I'm spending so much time...

with one of the top neurologists
in the country.

Well, I just happen to be
one of those guys...

who doesn't have any trouble
separating work from pleasure.

But you haven't even said
one thing about your job.

Well, you know, it's a job like any other job.

Nerves. Synapses.

Ganglions. Stuff like that.

It all boils down to feelings.

So, in a way,
we've been discussing my job all night.

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

- Father O'Malley.
- Hi, my boy.

I'm glad to call in here, but I'm sorry
to come like this, unannounced.

But I feel we should have a little talk.

Am I interrupting anything?

No. Of course not.

Just watching TV, playing canasta.
The usual Saturday night stuff.

Face, I miss you.

I'll make this very quick.

Yesterday at the orphanage,
I received a package marked "urgent."

In the package was this little black box
and a letter.

"Please get this to Templeton Peck.
Signed, Leslie Becktall."

- Do you know Leslie Becktall?
- Father, where did this come from?

It came from...
It was post-marked Guyana, Ecuador.

I have the little envelope here
that it came in. Would you like to have it?

Yes.

I hope I'm bringing you
grand news.

I'm not sure yet. But you sure got
the old heart pounding. Thanks, Father.

- You're very welcome.
- Face.

- Hurry up.
- In a second.

I think I'd better let you get back
to your little game of canasta.

Goodnight, Father. Really, thanks so much.

You're very welcome anytime,
and I love your little jacket.

- It's grand.
- Thanks.

Goodnight.

- Face, who was that?
- It's unbelievable.

A kid from the orphanage where I grew up
fell off a slide, broke his leg.

I have to get to him right away in surgery.

They need a neurologist for that?

You'd be surprised how many nerve endings
there are in a leg.

Now, look...

- Here's some money for a taxi...
- But why don't I just wait here for you?

I could rub your tired neck after surgery.

No. You'd be surprised what a rotten mood
I am in after surgery.

I'll call you next week. Promise.
I had a wonderful evening, Gayle. Bye.

Face, you got to be kidding.
You want us to go to Ecuador...

to rescue or find
the Sweetheart of Sigma Chi?

I mean, I think all this high living
has made your brain go soft.

I sure do wish you'd teach me
how to scam mansions, Face.

Murdock.

Will you be careful with this stuff?
It doesn't belong to me.

Hey, man. Is this what she sent back?
This cheap piece of jewellery?

That happens to be my fraternity pin.

It isn't cheap. Come on, guys,
we've gone on cases for each other before.

Why can't we go on this one for me?

For one thing, we don't know
the girl's in trouble.

She stood you up in college 15 years ago
and finally she remembers to write.

- I think you're better off without her.
- I know Leslie.

Murdock, would you cut that out?

I can tell by the tone of her letter
that something is wrong.

Oh, really?

What tips you off? Is it:

"No words can express the sorrow I feel
all these years," or...

"you'll always have a special place
in my soul"?

What about this:

"In everyone's life, there comes a time...

"when it is necessary
to call up the past and face it.

"In my life, the time is now."

Nice touch.

Hey, man. What's she doing
in Ecuador anyway?

I have no idea. I haven't heard another word
from her since the day she stood me up.

It's like she just dropped out of existence.

That's when I quit school, joined the Army,
and met you guys.

Lucky devil.

It's open! Now, listen...

Face, why didn't you tell me
you changed addresses?

I've been arguing with the night guard...

over at the Wilshire Ritz
for over a half an hour.

Gee!

- How do you do it?
- You mean to tell me...

that after all I've done,
you don't think I'm important enough...

or my case is good enough?

- All right, I'm hiring the A-Team.
- I hate asking this.

What is going on?

- Is it a deal?
- It's a deal.

But, seeing as you're the client,
we'll have somebody else monitor the cash.

Hannibal, you're afraid I'm gonna stiff you.

Well, there is a conflict of interest.

- We'll let Amy handle the money.
- Great.

I don't even know what's going on.
What is this case about? Who's involved?

- Where are we going?
- Well, Ecuador, of course.

Now, Ecuador... I don't mind the case,
but the flying got to go.

And our client better come up
with a good alternative.

Beam us up, Scotty.

- B.A., it isn't funny.
- Yes, it is, man.

Everybody in town is hip to you.
Now you can't even get near an airplane.

Pull over by that pay phone.
I want to make a call.

Sure, be delighted to.

You call the Greyhound bus station.
Book us, so we can go to Ecuador.

- Who are you gonna call?
- I'm gonna scam us a plane.

You just get B.A. ready for a nighty-night.

Let me speak to Col. Lynch.
This is Col. Stratton.

Col. Lynch, this is
Col. Randolph Stratton, Army Intelligence.

We spotted the A-Team
in a blue Impala, headed south on 101...

ten miles from Brandon Airfield.
Expect to apprehend them momentarily.

I need air transportation dispatched
to Brandon Airfield as soon as possible.

Col. Lynch, after all these years
trying to catch these people...

are you gonna stand around
asking stupid questions?

Do I have to talk to your general?

You just get that plane!
My men and I will take care of the rest!

Are you nuts?

- Do you wanna see Leslie or not?
- Not from behind bars.

Dispatch all available units
to assist in the apprehension of the A-Team.

He really does look so peaceful
when he sleeps.

Well, at least this time
he went out with a smile on his face.

Those look like MPs back there, Colonel.

- Is it Lynch?
- I hope so.

Those are MPs.

Part of my plan.
Good morning, fellas. Grenade!

Amy, get that bag in the car.

Sorry, fellas, but we've got
to get out of the country.

Got his arm? Let's go.

I told you it would be easy to get a plane.

The guy at the travel office said there
wasn't a Santa Maria Orphanage in Cayambe.

That's just the city
where the package was mailed.

Leslie could be in this village
about 40 miles east of there.

Then we're probably gonna
have to rent a car.

If there are any major rentals in Cayambe,
I can get a discount...

- through my connections at the paper.
- It doesn't matter.

- We buy one if we have to. I don't care.
- Buy a car?

I think I'll talk to Murdock.

I don't think I've ever seen
this side of you before.

Ever since I've known you, you've had
a different bombshell on your arm.

I never really thought any one woman
could have this effect on you.

I guess Leslie Becktall is maybe
the reason why.

She was the only woman I loved.

She was wonderful. Fun, feisty.

Smart.

She had this kind of
air of mystery about her.

Like, underneath all that laughter...

there was something real secretive
and precious to her.

I found it mesmerizing.

At the end of my sophomore year in college,
I decided to give her my fraternity pin.

Kind of like a pre-engagement gift.

It was going to be a surprise.

So I went over to the dorm to pick her up,
only she wasn't there.

She left school.
Her best friend came down to tell me.

"Leslie is sorry,
but she can't see you anymore."

That was it.

No other explanations.

She was gone for good,
and I never found out why.

I made her friend take the pin.
I didn't want it anymore.

Later on, someone told me
she had gone off with another guy.

I'm sorry.

I know you all think I must be stupid
to do this, but I know she's in trouble.

And no matter what's happened in the past,
I can't just stand by and do nothing.

This map isn't going to do us any good.

It was designed for people
who travel by donkey.

Well, it feels like we're travelling by donkey.

File all the complaints with the client.
The cheapo client.

- I'm just being economical.
- Come on, you little teddy bear.

Open those big brown eyes
and give us a growl. I'm worried about him.

It's been almost a full day
and we haven't insulted each other.

I think I may go into withdrawal soon.

You little devil, you. Time to wake up.

Hey, Face. There's a gas station.
I know we're not down to bare fumes yet.

What do you say we splurge
for a whole gallon?

I'm not amused.

No, not much.

Okay.

Anybody know how to say "orphanage"?

Yeah.

Do you
know where is the Santa Maria Orphanage?

We would like to go there.

Up there. In the hills.

English with a Spanish accent?

Yeah, I know.
They're used to that down here. A dialect.

The sisters. They want peace.

We come in peace.

Get out of sight. Here come
some Federales. Give me a hand, Murdock.

- I think he's gaining weight.
- 20 or 30 pounds.

I think they're looking for us.

- Seems like a long sh*t.
- Yeah, a long sh*t?

Mr. Smarty Pants,
remember that airplane you lined up for us...

right under the m*llitary's nose?

It flew us to this place.

Something a first-week radar-school student
could have tracked.

Hannibal, he's waking up.

Hannibal, I can't keep this up long.
This is one mean mama!

Get off me, sucker.

If you feed me your hat again, sucker...

I promise you won't have
a head to wear it on.

Now, where are we? How did we get here?

- You suckers drugged me, didn't you?
- What a grump.

- Cranky in the morning. Cranky all day.
- Yeah, you know. This is really getting old.

Hannibal, did this crazy man
fly us here?

- How much was it?
- $5.

Every time we go on these cases...

I wake up in a foreign country
with a bad headache.

- I'm getting tired of this, Hannibal.
- B.A., you're absolutely right.

As long as you're up, you can drive.

Hey, man. One of these days,
I'm gonna pound you all into the ground.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

- I got chickens in this car.
- Murdock, is this your chicken?

- Yeah.
- Get it out.

One minute I'm driving my shiny new
ride, which I'm never gonna see anymore...

and the next minute, I'm in Ecuador.
It's over. No more.

You ain't kicking B.A. Baracus around
no more. This is it, the last time.

- I've had it.
- Be quiet.

Get that slop away.

You need your strength.

You don't care about my strength.
You just want me out of here.

I admit my concern for your health
isn't based entirely on my fondness of you.

- I try to have good feelings for all people...
- You better have good feelings for me...

or a lot of faith in that God of yours.

Murdock, you better go back to the village
and see if you can find us a place to sleep.

We may have to spend the night.

I'm not sharing any room with B.A.
He snores all night.

I snore? You snore like a train
going up a hill.

Boys.

You know the routine. Get rid of them fast
or you start losing some of your orphans.

- May I help you?
- Well, I hope so.

We're looking for Leslie Becktall.
She's supposed to work here.

I'm sorry, but we have no one by that name
on our staff.

Well, she wrote me a letter
with this orphanage's name on it.

Perhaps it was another orphanage
or simply old stationery.

- May we speak to another nun, please?
- We have no one named Leslie Becktall.

I'm sorry. Let go of the gate.

Not exactly The Singing Nun, is she?

Now, how would Leslie get her hands
on their stationery if she didn't stay here?

Man, I don't believe nobody wants to stay
in this place.

- Where do you think you're going?
- Thank you.

He does this every time
it's time for his bath. Thank you.

Leslie!

Templeton?

- Why are you in that outfit?
- You shouldn't have come.

- You've got to leave.
- Wait. Leslie.

Federales, muchachos.
I've got them on my tail.

How did they know to look for us here?

Beats me. But at least we know
why no one's ever heard of Leslie Becktall.

She probably changed her name
to Sister Mary Katherine...

when she turned into a nun.

When they said she ran off
with another guy, they weren't kidding.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe she never said anything
the whole time we were going together.

At least you know what really happened.
That ought to make you feel better.

Yeah, and it didn't even end up
costing you that much.

"Close-out voucher." Wait.
This case isn't over, yet.

We can't just pack up and go home.
Those nuns are in trouble.

Listen, you guys. I know Leslie.

- I recognise the tone in her voice.
- I got to say, I think Face has got a point.

Hannibal, don't tell me
you recognise the tone in the voice, too?

No, but there was something peculiar
about the way they were behaving.

Religious orders are normally very receptive
to anybody who knocks on their door.

That's right. And for some reason,
these nuns weren't talking to us.

If I can just get close to Leslie,
I could find out what's going on here.

You're gonna have to go back
and get in the orphanage.

- I could tell them I'm an orphan.
- No, you're too old.

But you might wanna practice up
on your rosary.

Did you ladies pray
for our souls, too?

Very hard.

They've been gone almost an hour.

You've got to give Face and Leslie
45 minutes to talk over old times. Relax.

Relax? Man, how can we relax?

A crazy dude like Murdock
swinging from the lights...

and laying his lunatic rap on everybody.

Why did you let him go with Face, anyway?

He was the only one who fit in the habit.

I fit in the habit.

We've got enough women and children
in jeopardy. We're not adding you to the list.

- Aren't those the same soldiers, Hannibal?
- Stay calm.

Nice-looking fella.

I'll bet he's the reason
those nuns aren't talking.

Take me back to my room.

Let's speed this up, Faceman.

Leslie, would you please tell me
what's going on here?

Theresa. My name is Sister Theresa now.

Okay.

Sister Theresa, would you mind telling me
what's going on?

It's just that I was afraid
things would come to an end for me here.

And maybe I should tie up a few loose ends,
in case something happened to me.

You were the biggest loose end in my life.

Why didn't you tell me about this
15 years ago?

It would have been so much easier
on both of us.

Do you realise? Do you have any idea
what you did to me?

I'm so sorry.

I wanted to tell you
but I knew if I met with you again...

I wouldn't be able to go through
with my plans to be a nun.

Would becoming Mrs. Templeton Peck
have been such a bad second choice?

No, it would've been
a wonderful second choice.

But, after a while, I would have known
that it was a second choice.

I don't expect anyone to understand this.
Even with all the pain...

that I've caused you and the torment
I've suffered over this decision...

every time I go in the church,
or I think about the vows I've taken...

everything in this ridiculous world
seems to make sense again.

It gives my life meaning.
Can you understand that?

I hate to butt in, but the activity
is starting to pick up out here.

The guys with the g*ns
are saying something about a head check?

Twice a day they count the children...

and the sisters to make sure
no one has escaped.

They started doing that
after I snuck a child out through a tunnel.

He was the one who sent you the pin.

- Who are they?
- A bunch of crumballs.

They're wanted
for some terrible crimes.

Their leader was wounded in a sh**t.
They're hiding here from the Federales...

waiting till he recuperates.

They terrify the children, get drunk
every night, destroy things.

Now they're out of liquor
they're starting to get restless.

You go back and tell the others
what's going on.

I'll stay here so at least one of us
is on the inside.

The others? You mean the A-Team?

Well, I've kept up with everything
that's gone on in your life.

- I've prayed for you every night, too.
- With some of the things we've pulled off...

I just knew somebody was praying for us.

Come on, I'll try to sneak you out
through the cellar.

What kind of lousy cellar is this?
Not a bloody drop of wine nowhere.

Now ain't this cute?

You two lovely ladies come
down here to keep old Gibbens company?

Do not pass go.
Do not collect your $200.

It ain't the Lord's Prayer,
but it's the best I could do.

It's over here.

- You're sure you don't wanna come?
- No.

You can be out in no time.

No. If somebody is missing,
it'll just make it worse for the others.

- You go with God.
- I always travel first class.

- What are you doing?
- Come on. Shut up.

My skirt. For heaven's sake,
have you no respect?

- Where's Face?
- He decided to stay behind for protection.

You got six mangy outlaws in there
holding those sisters hostage...

while their leader heals. Set me down.

Put him down. It's probably that guy
we saw in the poster.

- Is Leslie okay?
- She's doing fine but those other guys...

are running out of booze,
it's making them antsy.

We've gotta get in there quick.

Why can't we just go back in
the way you came out?

It's risky. You can barely get in single file.

Besides, it opens up into
the wine cellar, which is where...

they spend most of their time.
Now, we've got to think of another plan.

- I ain't dressing up like no nun.
- It's simple.

All we have to do is get inside
without them knowing it, then clobber them.

How?

m*llitary history has recorded
a dozen operations like that.

- Name one.
- The Trojan horse.

All you have to do is pick the right horse.

- He just traded this truck for that car?
- Not a bad trade, huh?

- Wanna help me push?
- Push?

Now, showtime.

But my truck. It broke.

Sorry, but there's nothing
we can do for you.

Madre, I must deliver
my whiskey.

I don't deliver my whiskey...

Where you got this truckload of whiskey?

Right there, senor.

- Gibbens, come here.
- What's up?

This here is a man
whose truckload of whiskey...

just broke down outside our walls.

He may need some help.

He wants help with whiskey?

Come on, quick.
Open up the truck.

Don't break any bottles.

The Trojan horse has arrived.

Hey, Sister...

I have a little something I owe you.

Senor.

- My whiskey.
- There's plenty of time for that.

Relax, have a little drink.

There, now, doesn't that
make things a lot better?

I want another sh*t of whiskey.

B.A., they're all drunk.
Give this man a sh*t.

Bless you.

All right. Party's over.

Let's go. In the truck.

Who are you people?
What are you doing?

Taking out the trash, ma'am.

- Get in there!
- One more.

All right! Come on!

Let me help you. Get up.
Get up here now.

We'll be back in a while, ma'am,
to help you clean up the mess.

- Let's go.
- All right, let's go, sisters.

You guys strip down
to your shorts. You hear that?

- Everybody out.
- Get out of there. Move it.

All right, come on, old-timer. Move it.
Sore leg and all. I don't care.

I said, "Strip."

Okay, Face. Button it up, B.A. Let's go.

Bunch of stinking, drunken fools.
How could you be so stupid?

- Stupid, ma'am?
- Yes, stupid.

Well, I would have thought
you'd say thanks.

I assure you, thanks would have been
plentiful if you had gotten rid of them.

But all you did was humiliate them
and make them want revenge.

- And they will return for it.
- So we'll get rid of them again.

And they don't have weapons.

Excuse me, ma'am, but right now
they don't even have clothes.

- They have friends.
- Friends?

You guys were inside.
Know anything about friends?

- No!
- Murdock?

I overheard them talking the other night
about meeting up with their reinforcements.

That's why I tried keeping all of this
as low-keyed as possible.

Reinforcements? Just how many friends
are we talking about?

- How do I look, B.A.?
- Good.

Let's get those magazines.

You stupid fool.

What do you say, B.A.?
You think we're looking good?

Unless they get inside,
and if that happens, we're dead.

I will not stand for this.
I have innocent children to protect.

What are you planning to do
with all these g*ns?

- sh**t at the bad guys, ma'am.
- I will not allow g*nf*re in the courtyard.

It's too risky.

Reverend Mother,
you, the sisters, and the children...

- Will be in the cellar.
- Colonel!

I can't mount this where we planned
because of the roof.

- What's the matter with the roof?
- Part of it is in a state of repair.

We were in the midst of fixing it
when those fugitives took over.

- What are you using to repair that roof?
- Tar. Why?

Because I think I've got a plan.

Stand by. They're on their way.

Your lovely Holiness. We're back.

You be good girls and give us
what we want, maybe we go away!

If not, maybe we burn your church
to the ground!

Send out your four friends,
and no harm will come to you!

Hit it, Amy.

Excuse me.

B.A.!

They've stopped them in the back, too.

- No one has gotten over the wall.
- Get the others.

We go through the front gate.

All right, all the weapons out of the truck!

- You heard him.
- All right.

Throw 'em out!

Don't sh**t.

- Okay, Face, you got them?
- I got them.

Not too bad, huh,
Reverend Mother?

- The Lord has indeed been with us.
- Indeed.

Tomorrow is Sunday.

I expect to see all of you in Mass.

Come, Sister Theresa.
Let's feed the children.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome, ma'am.

It's good to hear the children's laughter.

For a time, I thought I'd never hear
that sound again.

Well, I hope you won't have any trouble
for a long time, Reverend Mother.

But if you do, you know where to find us.

Well, actually, the story surrounding
all of you has been sketchy.

It is a sort of sordid tale, Sister.

Not the kind a gospel
is usually written around.

If you'd like to make a full confession,
Father Lopez will be here this afternoon.

Thank you very much, Reverend Mother,
but I don't think you have that much time.

- Come on. Let's go. We're gonna be late.
- Late for what?

Late for what?
The boat leaves at 2:00 sharp.

- What boat?
- This time I got the transportation.

You mean, you traded that plane we had
for a boat ride?

- That's right.
- That's great. That's just great.

We ought to hit Florida
in about three weeks.

I'll go get Face.

- I hope you put in a good word for me.
- Always.

I know it's kind of silly,
but I really wish you'd keep this.

You know, you were right.

If you had told me that night 15 years ago
that you were gonna be a nun...

I don't think I could have accepted it.

Then I would have had to
say goodbye to you and...

I'm realising right now how very much
I hate to do that.

Well, then don't.

Besides, it's usually a word
that means somebody's leaving.

- Somebody is leaving. Me.
- No. Not to me.

To me, you're always here.
You always will be.

Let's go, Lieutenant.

My commander calls.

Faceman...

God bless you.