01x11 - Running

[bunniefuu]

♪ There's a place you gotta go ♪

♪ For learning all you oughta
know about the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When your books are
what you're there about ♪

♪ But looks are
what you care about ♪

♪ The time is right to
learn the facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪

♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪

♪ What everything is all about ♪

♪ When the boys you
used to hate you date ♪

♪ I guess you best
investigate the facts of life ♪

♪ You gotta get 'em right ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪♪ [Woman Vocalizing]

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪♪

And then when you put it on
a*t*matic, the little green dot lights up.

Aha. Cameras have come a
long way since my Baby Brownie.

All right. You focus
in and snap. Right.

Now she knows the difference between
a lens opening and a Broadway opening.

Hold it, fellas!

Be natural, Blair.

We don't want these
pictures to look posed.

[Chuckles] I don't even
know the camera's there.

[Shutter Clicking]

My, you look surprised.

Now, don't take any
pictures I'm not ready for.

Why, Blair? You're always
saying, "I don't have a bad side."

That's true.

Okay, sh**t away.

[Shutter Clicking]

Let me run a comb
through my hair, okay?

Hiya, troops! Mr. Bradley.

Now, I just heard from the State
Track Meet Committee in Albany.

They said if we win the
mile run one more time,

we get permanent
possession of the trophy.

- All right!
- Now, where's Sue Ann?

Oh, she's still down at the
track, running with Cindy.

Oh, there's a good
picture here, Molly.

Yes? Oh, yes.

Accepting this trophy for Eastland
is one of my proudest moments.

- Of course,
I didn't do it alone.
- You didn't do it at all.

Sue Ann won that race.
Remember? Of course she won.

But I inspired her with my
exploits of my track days.

You see, I was the top
miler at Allegheny Teachers.

Oh, that's why you're a
little long-winded. [Chuckles]

Most schools have a trophy room.

All we have is a trophy, and I
want to make sure that we keep it.

May I? For a minute?

"Sue Ann Weaver, Eastland School,
First Place." Isn't that marvelous?

[Tootie, Natalie] Yeah.
Two years in a row.

Yes. And after she wins it one
more time, it's mine for keeps.

Oh, what a fantastic tool to
lure new students to Eastland.

Yeah, it's nice. But I always felt
what happens in the classroom...

is more important than
what happens on the track.

[Chuckles] Boy, are
you new to this game.

You ought to see those parents' faces
when we hand out the varsity letters.

You'd think that little "E" made
their daughters Tracy Austin.

[Laughing] School spirit...

and endowments come from
a winning athletic program.

This is a little dull. You
got any silver polish?

In the kitchen,
under the sink. Yup.

Girls, who's winning? I am.

- I am!
- Mrs. Garrett!

You should have seen Cindy down
at the track. Boy, was she terrific.

Well, all right!

Well, after she showed me how
to pace myself, it was a cinch.

Oh, hold it. May I, Molly?

I'll snap your picture.

- I'll call it Buddies Forever.
- Right. Pals to the end.

[Clicks] Good girl!

Oh, thanks. I got
two more pictures left.

Cindy, look athletic.

Show her that
trick. Okay, watch.

[Shutter Clicks] [Girls Cheer]

[Mrs. Garrett] Very good!

I better go reload.
Hey, wait for me.

I want to learn
to load that thing.

You guys keep
sweating till I get back.

Oh, no, Molly. Eastland girls
don't sweat, they humidify.

This stuff is really
doing the trick. Good!

Come back Thursday. I'll let
you do the knives and forks.

There's my champ. Sue Ann, I
hope you've been working out,

'cause we've got some
tough competition this year.

There's some girl from Schenectady
High who really burns rubber.

Don't worry about her, Mr. Bradley.
She's gonna get b*at bad.

There's my champ.
Right. [Chuckles]

- But not by me.
- What?

- I'm not running this year.
- Huh?

You heard her,
Mr. Bradley. I'm running.

We've been training
together for weeks.

Cindy, you've never
run in competition.

- Sue Ann is the champion.
- Not anymore.

Old Thunder Thighs is
hanging up her spikes.

And you gave me an idea
of right where I can stick 'em.

Sue Ann, I don't believe this.

I can't believe you're
letting down Eastland.

Yeah, Mr. Bradley would
have to give up his trophy.

Who's trying to hurt Eastland?
I've already set the record,

and I don't feel like training
again four hours every day.

And besides, I've got
a bigger load this year.

That's obvious.

- My studies.
- And you do have a social life,

if I can get that sweatband off you
before our dance Saturday night.

Now, Sue Ann, maybe you're
forgetting how exciting a race is.

First, you start as
just one of the mob.

Then by the half-mile,
the exhaustion,

the blisters, the heat
begins to take its toll.

But you go on. And then with
yards to go, a beautiful thing happens.

A taxi pulls up. [Giggles]

- You hit the Wall of Pain.
- Not if you watch
where you're going.

No, Natalie. The "Wall
of Pain" is a runner's term.

Right! It's thrilling! Suddenly,
with yards to go,

your lungs feel like
they've collapsed.

Your legs cramp. Your mouth
is so dry you can't speak.

Gee, Sue Ann, you
don't want to miss that.

Your entire body is screaming,
"Stop! Give up!" But you don't listen.

You go on and you finish,
because that is the thrill of victory.

Or the agony of "da feet."

Admit it, Sue
Ann. It's worth it.

- Get into the race.
- Mr. Bradley, no. I'm just not into it.

I don't feel like
running anymore.

Did I hear you right, Sue Ann?
You're not gonna run this year?

Oh, you didn't hit her with that
"Wall of Pain" speech again?

Mrs. Garrett, I'm just too busy for
running to be the only thing in my life.

And besides, Cindy wants
this more than anything.

- Well, that's terrific!
- I've already shown her
how to breathe correctly,

- so she can develop her lungs.
- Hey, maybe I should
go out for track.

Sue Ann, you've got to run.
Now, where's your school spirit?

That is the true Eastland
spirit... friendship, generosity.

Sue Ann, I think that's great, you
helping Cindy get a sh*t at the trophy.

Butt out, Garrett.

This trophy means
a lot to Eastland.

Sue Ann can
deliver. So can Cindy.

Just think of her
as raw material...

A-a blob of Silly Putty that's
just waiting to be shaped.

Sue Ann, you're
making a big mistake.

I'll even let you take the
trophy home for summer!

Mr. Bradley, Sue Ann's
already made her decision.

Now... Now is the time for
all of us to get behind Cindy.

[Chanting] Cindy,
Cindy, Cindy, Cindy!

[All Chanting] Cindy, Cindy,
Cindy, Cindy! All right, all right!

- All right, all right. Cindy it is.
- [Girls Screaming]

[Cindy] Don't
worry. I can do it!

[Whistle Blowing]
Okay! Come on, g*ng.

Come on. You're the ones who
volunteered for this running program.

Let's finish this workout. Come
on. I've got to get back to Cindy.

Ohh!

I'm too young to die.
What's the matter?

Hit the Wall of Pain?
More like the Wailing Wall.

Blair? Come on,
Blair. Hustle it up.

Come on. Hup, hup,
hup. [Blows Whistle]

Blow it out your track shoes.

Roger got so excited when I
told him I was into exercise.

Roger gets excited at haircuts.

- Here comes Mrs. Garrett.
- Let's see a fast finish!

[Cheering, Laughing]
Ah! Ah, I feel great!

It's so exhilarating. I
"wogged" almost a whole mile.

"Wogged"? Yeah.

It's a little faster than a walk,
but it's too slow to be a jog.

"Wogging" isn't
"weally wunning."

Guys, that was
a terrific workout.

Let's remember: Take care of your
body and your body will take care of you.

No, no, no, Sue Ann,
you've got that all wrong.

It's, um, take care of your body and
someone else will take care of you.

- [Chuckles]
- Hiya, troops.

[Girls] Hi, Bradley!
Nice goin', champ.

Thanks, Mr. Bradley. I
wasn't talkin' to you, Sue Ann.

- I meant Cindy. She's the new champ.
- Oh. [Chuckling]

We'll call her the
"Eastland Streak."

Oh, Mr. Bradley, don't
call me that. Champ's fine.

- Cindy, let's not be
too overconfident.
- Why shouldn't she be?

- She just broke your
winning time from last year.
- You gotta be kidding.

- No, she clobbered you. See that?
- Wow!

Let me see that! Easy!

What does it say? I'll
tell you what it says.

She ran the mile in five
minutes and three seconds!

- She broke my record?
- Without even breathing hard.

- She b*at me by five seconds?
- You know, it's funny how
things work out just right.

Just when you lose your
k*ller instinct, Cindy appears.

Now, she's gonna break
the school record for the .

Huh! My ? That's
gonna be pretty hard to b*at.

Sue Ann, records
are made to be broken.

- Not that one.
- Why do you care?

You've been put out to pasture.

Sue Ann, you'll always
be a champ to me,

even though some people
think of you as a has-been.

You feel good enough to
do some wind sprints? Sure!

Okay. Let's go,
Champ. Oh, uh, Molly.

I want you to take a
picture of Cindy breaking

the ribbon for the front
page of the yearbook.

Wow, the front of the
yearbook! Hey, that's big!

Even Sue Ann in her days
of glory didn't make that.

[Sighs] Hold it a minute.

- I'm coming too.
- Sure. Come on, Coach.

Uh-uh, not as a coach.
I'm gonna run in the race.

But, Sue Ann, you said
you were gonna help me win.

You're doing a pretty
good job of helping yourself.

Wait a minute, Sue Ann.

You said you didn't have time for heavy
training because of your studies this year.

Well, I can do both if
I push myself a little.

Sue Ann, now you always
told me not push when you train.

Don't worry about that. Sue Ann
knows how to get in condition fast.

Cindy, you're not afraid of
a little competition, are you?

[All] Mm-mmm!

[Sighs] I think I
can hold my own.

[All] Mm-mmm!

[Chuckles] Good. Let's go.

Come on! Wonderful, Sue Ann.
Does that mean you're back in the race?

With both feet. I'm
gonna be better than ever.

Hmph! [Clicks Tongue]

Mrs. Garrett, who do
you think's gonna win?

I'm afraid nobody.

Ah, Mrs. Garrett, where
are my two superstars?

Down at the track working out.

Looks more to me
like a grudge match.

Great. I'll get down there
and get my clock on 'em.

You sure are delighted that
Sue Ann's back in the race.

Of course! You always get better times
when two runners are pushing each other.

They're not the only pushy ones.

I, uh, bought
myself a stopwatch.

Mr. Bradley, Cindy isn't running nearly
as fast as you claim she did the other day.

Oh, really? Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm only human. My
thumb may have jerked.

I knew there was a
jerk in there someplace.

Mrs. Garrett, are you accusing
me of manipulating the girls?

Why should I do that? Why?

I don't know. To win a race, a
trophy? A little glory for yourself?

[Chuckles] You're
very observant.

My coach did the same thing to
me. It's what I call "motivation."

It's what I call
"bull... feathers."

Thanks to you and
your motivation,

all those girls care about
is winning, winning, winning.

Winning is the only thing!
You cannot care too much.

This year we may wind up
with first and second place.

Or a couple of
nervous breakdowns.

Those girls are down at that track
running every morning at : a.m.

I know. It's the
best time to run.

Before they let the dogs out.

And at night they're falling
asleep while doing their homework.

Well, they're bright
girls. They'll handle it.

You got the answer for
everything, don't you?

Remember what
great friends they were?

They don't speak to each other anymore,
not even when they run in the morning.

Just butt out.

What do you mean,
I nosed you out?

- I b*at you by five yards.
- That's because you tripped me.

If you hadn't galloped in front of me,
Spectacular Bid, it wouldn't have happened.

Listen, "Pigtails with a Face to Match,"
you're supposed to pass on the right.

Who could pass you on the
right? You're built like a school bus!

Girls, please! Mrs. Garrett, she
knocked me off my stride on purpose.

Oh, really? And how
did I do that? Like this!

- Sue Ann, be careful!
- No, I didn't. I did this!

Come on! Cindy, don't!
She bruises easily.

All right, girls. Cut it out, cut it
out. Sue Ann, protect your face!

[All Shouting, Indistinct]

- [Sobbing]
- [Shouting Continues]

Wonderful, Mr. Bradley!

How do you like your
friendly little competition now?

Cheater! You're the one who...

Roger, you never saw
anything like it. It was awful.

Sue Ann and Cindy were
punching and scratching and yelling.

And when Blair tried to
stop it, it even made it worse.

They were just all tangled up,
with arms and legs sticking out.

What do you mean,
it sounds sexy?

No. Roger, you are
sick and depraved!

What? Of course we still
have a date for Saturday night.

Good-bye.

What am I gonna do?

Well, you could make your
eye white to match your face,

or you could make your
face black, to match your eye.

- [Laughing]
- That's not funny, Tootie.

No, Tootie. If they were both
black, that would be funny.

You'd look like a
well-dressed panda.

Hey, how about a picture
to remember this by?

Molly, you click that
shutter and you're dead.

That Sue Ann. She should
be arrested for vandalism.

Yeah, defacing a
national treasure.

Maybe if I put this on,
nobody would notice.

Blair, how can you worry about
a little thing like a black eye,

when Cindy and Sue Ann
aren't speaking to each other?

You don't know how easy it is.

Excuse me.

Blair, do you mind if I
move in here for a while?

Just keep your distance.

I'm not sleeping another night in the same
room with that glory-hungry backstabber.

You know, you guys
are both acting stupid.

You've been best friends all year.
How can you hate each other's guts?

It's easy. You weren't
down at the track with us.

She was standing there,
gloating and taunting me.

Can you believe her? After all
the time I spent coaching her.

Yeah, she b*at you.

It's amazing how those
extra pounds slow you down.

She was never my friend.
She was just using me,

and now I'm the
one who's suffering.

You're suffering?

[Sobbing]

I told you we'd
find her in here.

Cindy, why are you
jumping rope now?

She always jumps
rope when she's mad.

I wash my hair.
Tootie oils her wheels.

Molly chews on
pencils. What do you do?

Um, what is the difference?
We're talking about Cindy.

You know, first she's
telling me how great I

am, and then all of a
sudden she's jealous.

You know, she's trying to make
me look bad. Cin... Wai... Cin...

Cindy, either let
me in our cut it out!

[Panting] Okay.

I've calmed down a
little bit, but I'm still mad.

[Panting] You know, I was
happy with baseball and tennis.

She's the one that
got me into running.

You know what it's
like rooming with her?

She throws her
clothes everywhere.

You know, she may be older
than me, but she's a spoiled brat.

Listen, Cindy. You know what Roger
always says when we have an argument?

What? "Let's sleep on it."

Can you believe it? Double-crossed
by my own roommate.

- I'm never talking
to that jerk again.
- You don't mean that, Cindy.

You're gonna be running
right beside her in the race.

That's what you think. I'm
goin' over there and tell her that...

she's not as fast as I am, and
that she should get out of the race.

♪♪ [Humming]

- Mr. Bradley.
- Mrs. Garrett.

Well, things have settled down.

What have you been doing?
Working in the darkroom.

How do you like it?

Sue Ann and Cindy,
two ex-friends...

Thanks to your k*ller instinct.

k*ller instinct? [Chuckles]

Well, things got a little out of
hand, but just a few high spirits!

High spirits? [Laughing]

That explains why they were
trying to punch each other's lights out.

Nobody had their
lights punched out.

Well, Blair certainly had
one of hers dimmed a little.

[Scoffs] Mr. Bradley,

please, pull both Cindy
and Sue Ann out of the race.

You amuse me.

You expect me to deny
Eastland its place in the

sun because of a little,
minor shoving match?

[Tootie] Well, you
can relax, Mr. Bradley.

The shoving's over. We've
arranged a cease-fire.

Our committee has
negotiated a peace.

- See? They've made up, huh?
- No. They hate each other.

They want you to flip
a coin. Heads, Sue Ann

drops out of the race,
and tails, Cindy does.

The U.N. couldn't
have done it better.

- All right. What's
going on around here?
- It's simple.

I'm not running if she
does. The coin'll tell you.

You'll either have a
thoroughbred or a Clydesdale.

High-strung athletes or
not, I am getting impatient.

- Now, I want you both
to shake hands.
- [Mrs. Garrett] Sue Ann?

- Cindy?
- Mrs. Garrett, please, don't
try to be the peacemaker.

What I'm trying to
do is be a printmaker.

Look at this, girls.
My first photo.

I worked on it most of the
afternoon with my teacher Molly.

She's slow, but good. [Chuckles]

That's terrific.

I mean, pretty sharp
for your first print.

- Yeah, nice composition.
- Thanks. Either one of you
want to keep it?

She can have it. I don't
want it. That's for sure.

That's your idea of
friendly competition?

If you understood sports,
you'd know that it's good...

for competitors to get
angry with each other.

- It turns them into winners!
- Winners?

You call it winning to
dump a close friendship

for a race that's
over in six minutes?

Five minutes and three seconds. I'm hoping
to knock five seconds off the old record.

Five seconds! You're willing
to break up these two girls...

for the sake of five
seconds and a lousy tin cup?

- Silver.
- Plated!

Look, it boils down to this.

The world is made up of winners and
losers. I want our girls to be winners.

All right. All right.
You've made your point.

Look at this, look at this. How could
I have called this Buddies Forever?

I'll call it Two Winners.

There you are. Now, neither of you
has to stand next to somebody she hates.

- I never said I hated her.
- Well, you've both
been acting like it.

Well, that's because... Yeah,
I guess we have, haven't we?

Yeah, I guess I've been
acting pretty dumb, huh?

Yeah, but that's because
I'm the one who caused it.

Cindy, when I heard you
broke my record, I was jealous.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

I almost wish I hadn't
broken your record.

Well, actually... [Clears
Throat] uh, you-you didn't.

My thumb jerked.

- What do you mean?
- [Sighs] I lied.

Mr. Bradley, all I can say
is, I think you're beautiful.

Mrs. Garrett, you gave
the girls the wrong pictures.

- I know it.
- Cindy, do you mind
if I keep this...

to remind me of
how dumb I've been?

Okay, and I'll keep this one.

Well, you have two
pictures. I want one.

Yeah, how about
posin' right over there?

I'll call it, um, Two Champs.

W-Wait a minute. Why don't we call
it Three Champs? Sure, get in there.

No, I meant you, Edna.

All right. Smile.

Please, no pictures.

♪ When the boys you
used to hate you date ♪

♪ I guess you best investigate ♪

♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪

♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother ♪

♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪

♪ Gotta get 'em
right The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪

♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪♪