03x10 - Sheriffs of Rivertown

[bunniefuu]

In 1972,
a cr*ck commando unit...

was sent to prison
by a m*llitary court...

for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped...

from a maximum-security
stockade...

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted
by the government...

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A-Team.

My wife and kids are
coming in from the States.

Sent me a letter yesterday.

Yeah, I haven't seen that little
guy of mine in over a year.

I haven't seen my
daughter in eight months.

Her birthday was yesterday.

I get my bonus at the
end of this month.

I'm gonna find her the biggest,
furriest teddy bear I can.

Thanks.

You're not clocking
out yet, boys.

Seems like there's some
unfinished work to be done.

We just finished working
10 straight hours.

Company rule says that you can't
put in more than 10 hours.

You're forgettin'
one thing, Joe.

We're the company out here.

And every now and then,
we change the rules.

Now, there's work to be done
at Tunnel Eight. Let's go.

Tunnel Eight?

We're not diggers,
we're machinists.

Hey, this is crazy.

- Tunnel 8.
- What's going on here?

Move!

♪ Once more with love ♪

♪ Maybe we'll get it right this time ♪

♪ And we can make this moment shine ♪

♪ Once more with love ♪

♪ Once more with love ♪

♪ Baby, this time we'll make it last ♪

♪ Once more with love ♪

♪ Don't let our second chance slip past ♪

♪ Once more with love ♪

♪ Maybe we'll get it right this time ♪

♪ And we can make this moment shine ♪

♪ Once more with love ♪

Lady Luck is with me
again today, boys.

Is there room for another
lady at your table?

What was that?

I guess there's a cave-in.

Tunnel Eight.
We lost seven men.

Seven?

Kalish was in with them.

Well, can't you do anything?

An expl*si*n and fire like that?

By the time we put it out,
there won't be a trace...

not even the bodies.

Kalish was
a real good machinist.

That's gonna be a loss.

Ante up.

First a hot dog vendor, then a bait
salesman, now a cleaning lady, huh?

Please sit.

We weren't sure you were coming.

And I'm supposed to be someplace,
you can make book on it.

Have a cigar.

Mr. Lee said that you
were extremely cautious.

But let me assure you, we do
not work for the m*llitary...

and we are sincere...

in our plea for help
from the A-Team.

As I told Mr. Lee...

our oil company is engaged...

in a joint venture with the
government of San Marcos...

to build
a hydraulic power plant.

And when it's completed...

it will provide more than half of the
electrical power to South America.

Now we currently...

employ over 600 workers
on the project.

We have erected a temporary
city on the site...

to house those workers.

It's locally known
as Rivertown...

due to its close proximity
to the Rio Blanco.

The problem is
in the past year...

over 20 men have been lost to
industrial accidents and explosions...

and their bodies
have never been recovered.

Now part of our contract with
the government of San Marcos...

is to provide
the security for Rivertown.

Now it's a monumental job...

and that's why we've
sent for the A-Team.

Sounds like you need them bad.

Why are you telling me all this?

Because we need you to go in...

and restore law and order
in Rivertown and clean it up.

Me? I can't leave
Los Angeles.

I got a sister I take care of.

Now I've been an employee
of this company for 10 years--

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Aren't you Hannibal Smith?

Clara Dickerson.

Don't you know
your own employees?

No, he doesn't,
Mrs. Dickerson.

Gentlemen...

Hannibal Smith at your service.

You mind if I join you?

Yes, sir.

For Pete's sake, Hannibal.
What're you doing?

- Hey, Face?
- What?

- Do you know anything--
- Watch your feet! Don't step on the leather!

- For crying out--
- You know this thing's got a shimmy?

- No, it doesn't.
- Yeah, it does.

I hope you didn't spill
any of that stuff.

And it starts at about a 105.

And by the time you're at a
140, you're in big trouble.

You better get it fixed.

I figure we better
stoke our furnaces...

as we're on our way
to San Marcos.

We are the new sheriffs
of Rivertown.

Wow! Sheriffs.

I always wanted to get
into law enforcement.

I saw every TV Western and never
missed a rerun of The Rifleman.

I hope not, Murdock,
because it's a tough place.

Hey, Hannibal, what ever happened to the
other sheriff they sent to Rivertown?

Disappeared without a trace,
as they say.

And you said,
"Sounds like a challenge."

Face, a lot of people
are gonna benefit from this.

And they agreed to pay our fee.

They even offered...

to let us take their new
executive jet for the trip.

Oh, boy! I hope it's one
of those new Lear jobs...

with the high performance
engine.

The thing is capable of near vertical
climb, 3,000 feet per minute.

Hey, Hannibal!
You know I don't fly.

And I seen this trick before.

You give me a burger
and expect me to eat it.

B.A., you know you get
cranky on an empty stomach.

Now, eat your burger.

Not this time.

I ain't falling for no
sleeping powder in my burger.

I'm taking yours.

Help yourself.
That's fine.

You figured I would think my
burger was spiked and take yours.

I'm taking Face's.

Okay.

Wait a minute.
I got it.

You figured I would
take your burger...

get wise to it,
then take Face's burger.

And Face's burger is the one that
got the sleeping powder in it.

Or Murdock's.

Hey, wait a minute.

I'm hip to you guys.

The one place you would never
put sleeping powder...

and that's in the first
burger you gave me.

That much I know.

And he was doing so well.

He should be waking up
any time now.

Yeah, well, I sure hope these bars
are strong 'cause he's gonna be mad.

Not to mention the fact that he ain't
never gonna eat lunch with us again.

Well, I don't know, Murdock.

B.A.'s got
a very forgiving heart.

You know, it's gonna be nice being on
the right side of the law for a change.

You like that, huh, Face?

I call these babies
Betsy and Bertha.

And as B.A.
might say:

"I pity the poor man
who crosses my path...

"because I am ready, willing, and
able to take on any bad guy...

"who wants a taste
of Fast Draw Murdock."

What is this?

What is this?

Well, after giving it
a lot of thought...

and summing up
the situation real quick...

this is one very mad B.A...

holding on to the bars of a
jail cell from the inside.

Hannibal, let me out of here!

You tricked me.
You put me to sleep again!

What you got to do, B.A., and I've seen
this in all the gangster pictures, is...

Yell! Call out
the warden's name!

Hannibal!

B.A., I have to swear you in as
an official deputy of Rivertown.

You have to take the oath.

If I take it,
will you let me out?

Word of honor.
Face, swear him in.

Put your hand on the Bible.

Raise your right hand.

B.A., this is the Bible.

I, B.A. Baracus,
will duly uphold...

all the laws of Rivertown. I will conduct
myself as an honorable Peace Officer...

and obey, at all times,
all the rules of deputyship.

Do you so swear?

I swear.

There you go. Done.

Thanks, Face.

Okay, B.A.,
you're a free man.

Now, I'm gonna
tear you guys apart!

But one of the rules is that a Peace
Officer may not bring harm...

to any other Peace Officer.

What?

Yes, and you swore to it,
and we're all wearing badges.

This ain't fair.

See, it's all nice and shiny.

All right. Let's get
down to business...

and go clean up this town.

I see your $100,
and I'll raise you $50.

I'm out.

Calls me $50.

I see your $100.
I raise you $100.

The old check and raise you.

We got a sandbagger
over here, guys.

All right, I call you.
I call you.

There you go.

I'm in.

Aren't you gonna call
on a pair of deuces?

Well, I don't wanna
rush you, pal.

I got three ducks here,
three deuces.

Boyle wins again, huh?

Who the hell are you?

I'm the new sheriff.

My name is Hannibal Smith.

But you can call me "sir."

- You know who I am?
- Yeah, your name's Boyle.

You're the main pig slop
around here.

There'll be no more gambling.

You and I
better have a talk, mister.

Sure.

There seems to be
some misunderstanding, Smith.

You see, well, I run this town.

The workers listen to me and...

well, they're happy and
everything runs real smooth.

Now, as for the sheriffs
around here, well...

I take care of them,
and they look the other way.

Wrong.
I run the town.

No gambling.

No drinking before shift...

and I never look the other way.

It's unfortunate that we
don't see eye to eye.

Hey, where do you think you're--

Freeze!
Peace Officers!

Nicely put.

Now, I'm gonna
put your boys away...

for simple as*ault, overnight.

Next time,
it'll be six months...

for as*ault on a police officer.

Sheriff's office is open
24 hours a day.

Stop in anytime.

It's early in the AM.

The city was quiet.

Officer Baracus and I
had been assigned to patrol.

The city was at peace
with itself...

but it wasn't going to be
that way for long.

And when the peace is broken,
that's when I go to work.

I wear a badge.

You ought to wear a muzzle.

Man, why do you talk to yourself
like some kind of fool?

I'm not talking to myself.

When you talk to yourself, you're alone.
No one hears you.

You happen to be with me.

You hear me, therefore, I
am not talking to myself.

Talk to me. Talk sense,
so I can talk back.

Not all this jibber jabber, like
breaking the peace and all that.

Okay, okay, fine,
but look at that.

Look at that.

Freeze!

B.A., you okay?

Yeah, man.
Did you see who it was?

Yeah, it looked like
one of Boyle's men to me.

We're like brothers on that
Bonanza show, ain't we?

Go ahead.
Can I call you Hoss?

No! Call the colonel.

Murdock, you're sure
this was one of Boyle's men?

Absolutely.
It was that guy, Lupis.

He's about 6'3",
built like a bathtub.

But what would they
wanna rob here?

Nobody leaves anything
valuable in the locker.

Nothing but old clothes, letters
from home and nothing of value.

"Mr. Craig Monroe."

Then we can find him.

Find out what's going on.

Get a box or something. We'll take
this stuff back to the office.

Box.

Face, I got something
for you to do.

You want me to pick up who?

Lupis. He works for Boyle.
We saw him yesterday.

Oh, yeah. That's the big one, about
6'4", built like a chest of drawers?

Yeah, that's the guy, guy. And you
be careful. He almost k*lled B.A.

He's at least 6'5", 240.

Now...

I'm gonna check out his office.

You check out his house. If
the guy Lupis shows, bag him.

Wait, the guy's 6'6",
250 pounds...

he almost k*lled B.A.,
and you want me to bag him.

Sure.

Well, you don't care how I go
about it, do you, Colonel?

No. Use alacrity.

You can call me "Sheriff."

"Masters.

"Masterson.

"Monroe, Craig."

Colonel. I mean, Sheriff,
you got anything?

I'm in Boyle's office now.
No sign of him or Lupis.

What about you?

No, Boyle's not home.

How do you know?

'Cause I'm inside.

The door wasn't locked. At
least, not after I picked it.

God, there's someone coming.

Is it Boyle?

Not unless he enters his own
place through a window.

It might be your guy, Lupis.

Wrap him up, and I'll meet you
at the sheriff's office.

Sure. Wrap him up. Right.

Wasn't so tough.

Oh, no.

Great.

I just clobbered a girl.

How low can you sink?

It's a bad sign, Face.

It won't be long
before you'll...

- What?
- You know.

- No, know what?
- You know.

This Craig Monroe was k*lled
in a cave-in last week.

He was one of their engineers.

What was an engineer
doing on the work site?

Beats me.

And he was k*lled in a tunnel...

that had been closed
for two months.

Are you talking
about Craig Monroe?

You better take it easy here.
It's...

What happened?
Who hit me?

You didn't see him?

No, I don't remember.

What am I doing here?

Well, you're in jail.

Burglary's a tough business...

or do you always
make your entrances...

through a window like Supergirl?

I'd like to hear what you
know about Craig Monroe.

Craig was my brother.

Well, would you know
why your boyfriend...

or one of his cronies would want to
go through your brother's belongings?

My...

Oh, you mean that pig, Boyle?

That's a nice way to talk about somebody
whose house you were found breaking into.

Hey, man, how do we know
she's who she says she is?

You're right. We ought to put on the heat.
You wanna play good cop-bad cop?

You wanna be the good cop?

B.A., it's time for
the Main Street patrol.

Take Murdock
and stay on the radio.

If you got any problems,
call us.

That bottom letter's from me.

It's from me to Craig.
It's the last one I wrote him.

On the second page
you can see...

that I wrote and said that I'd be
coming down here to visit him...

and that Dad
would be feeling better.

Okay, you're his sister.
You wrote the letter.

But what were you doing
snooping around Boyle's house?

Well, after Craig
had been k*lled...

I went to someone
I knew at Amco Oil.

They sort of checked out
the records for me.

He told me that there had been
two bad accidents down here...

in the last couple of months...

so I decided to come down here and
see what was really going on.

Craig was an engineer.

He never would have been
in that construction dig.

I knew that Boyle
ran this place...

and then I noticed a gold ring that
Boyle wears on his little finger.

Well, that was
my brother's ring.

So, I decided
to play up to Boyle...

and see what more
I could find out.

Well, you played up
to him very nicely.

You don't think I really
enjoyed that, do you?

No, but I'm sure he did. You were
all over him like a wet burnoose.

Well, I didn't find out much.

Except that I do know that he
comes to the tavern every night.

And about three times a week,
around 10:00...

he leaves and doesn't
come back until morning.

So I decided
to snoop around his place...

and see if I could
find out anything more...

that would tell me
why Craig was in that tunnel.

One of Boyle's men was going through
your brother's possessions...

in the locker.

Now, we've been through it...

but maybe you could
go through his stuff...

and find something we missed.

Now, whatever Boyle is up to,
it has to be more...

than just ripping off lockers
and cheating at cards.

Bet on it.

Wait here.

Things seem to be shaping up.

Two days I have been
waiting for you.

Two days without a word!

Where are the extra men I need?

I told you before.

There's a new sheriff and his
men I have to deal with.

You told me you could take care of
anyone the American pigs sent down.

I can.
All I need is time.

Time?
I do not have time.

The men, they do not
work fast enough.

And the m*ssile? The m*ssile
is just not completed!

And I must att*ck the
presidential palace in two days.

I need 10 more men...

and among them, at least
three must be machinists.

And I need another
expl*sives expert.

I brought you Monroe.

Now he has four years training
in the United States Army.

He knows more about expl*sives and guidance
m*ssile designs than any man I have.

He has been doing a good job...

but he gets weaker every day. I do
not know how long he will hang on.

Well, I don't have another
man with his background.

So, you'd better keep him alive.

I brought his medication.

Here, this stuff should do it.

Craig's medication.

What medication?

Craig was
a borderline diabetic...

and he had to take a pill
every morning.

They're gone.

Well, as in-house medical advisor
of this group, I can assure you...

that diabetic medication isn't
exactly in demand on the street.

Why would they wanna
take his medication?

To give it to him?

Are you saying that Craig
could still be alive?

I'm just trying to figure out a reason to
go and take his particular medication.

I mean, if they had
a legitimate need...

they'd go to the infirmary
and get it right away.

You're saying the cave-in
was just a phony.

A smoke screen
to spirit Craig away.

Could be.

Could very well be.

You'd better stay here.

- I'm--
- No, no, just stay.

What happened?

A cave-in down
in shaft number six.

Anybody in there?

Reeves, Gunderson,
maybe a half dozen more.

They're all gone. Look, I don't
even know why the hell...

we were working this shaft.

Did this shaft close down
like number eight?

Yeah, we just opened it up
again this morning.

Who gave the orders
to open it up?

I did.

Guess I messed up.

According to the company, two of those
guys who d*ed in that cave-in...

were electrical technicians.

I still don't understand...

what electrical technicians were
doing in that kind of mineshaft.

Neither do I, Murdock.

We'd learn a lot
if we can just find out...

where Boyle disappears to?

B.A., could you cook up something we
could follow this scuzzbucket with?

No problem, but where
we gonna plant it?

We got to get it on him and make sure it
stays there until he makes another trip.

You could plant it
on his clothes somewhere.

No, Murdock, you change
your clothes every day.

I do, but it didn't smell
like he did.

No, B.A.'s right.

Once we plant it on him, we got
to be sure it stays on him.

Now, what would he have that he
would keep on him all the time?

His lighter!

His cigarette lighter,
he always has that with him.

The only time he even takes it out of
his pocket is when he plays cards.

Yeah, he uses it to cheat.

How do you cheat
at cards using a lighter?

It's one of the oldest tricks in the book.
It's called a shiner.

See, he uses the polished surface
of the lighter as a mirror...

and then he deals
over the top of it.

He can tell all the cards
that everybody's got.

B.A., how small a transmitter
could you make for us?

About the size of a button. lt'd
fit right into the lighter.

That's gonna be impossible.

Look, I told you, he never lets
that lighter leave his sight.

The only time he takes it out of his
pocket is when he plays cards...

and then it stays
right on the table.

Well, it wouldn't if somebody
tipped the table over.

But you told them
not to play cards anymore.

My dear, a leopard
can't change his spots.

And a poker player
cannot stop playing poker.

- Murdock?
- I'm sorry.

I think we better make
that entrance again.

Look, Murdock,
I think they recognize us...

as the guys who shut down
their playground...

so you better watch my back.

Who's gonna watch mine?

Face, your back,
it's looking good.

Tender...

give me milk.

I'll call your $10...

and raise you $15.

Well, now, isn't this nice?

Who's winning?

It was just a friendly game.

We weren't using any money.

Oh, thanks.

Well, this is just
a friendly roust.

We're not using
any money, either.

Don't drain your brain
getting any ideas, sugar.

Right! Now, spread them.

Up against the wall, come on.

I told your sheriff,
you're gonna push me too far.

Let me tell you
something, sport...

if our sheriff ever decided to
push you as far as he can...

you'd drop off the edge and
no one would hear you scream.

You know...

you really should find...

better specimens
to k*ll your time with.

Why don't you mosey, so I don't
have to watch my language?

Attagirl.

All right, Murdock, read these
Cro-Magnons the riot act.

What we have here, fellas...

is a failure to communicate.

As gambling, that's right,
brothers and sisters.

Gambling is the root
of all evil.

It is the mother of all
sinful invention.

Who? Who?

Who is the first cousin
to the gambler in us all?

It is the drinker in us all.

That's right,
brothers and sisters...

B-O-W-Z, booze!

I was just about
to get to smoking.

You guys are real tough
wearing those badges.

Well, we like to think so.

I did not say
the sermon was over.

I ain't even passed
the basket yet.

It's over as far as
I'm concerned.

You guys are treading
in white water.

Oh, come on, let's just go
before they lock you up.

You wanna lock me up?
Go ahead.

Otherwise, I'm gonna go
and do as I please.

Now I got to tell you,
you were pretty good...

at getting that lighter
back into Boyle's pocket.

Just pretty good? Oh, come on,
I thought I was terrific.

At least, as good as you
were at getting it out.

Well, we're not on an even keel.

I mean, you have certain
built-in distractions.

Which is not to say
I'm unimpressed.

Neither am l.

Hey, man, Boyle's on the move.

Let's go.

A cave? What's he
doing in a cave?

It makes sense to me.

Most of the slimes I know
hang out in caves.

He's on the move again. Looks
like he headed toward Rivertown.

Okay.

Let's see what's so
interesting about this cave.

Let's get
to the jeep, B.A.

Boy, oh, boy, I sure hope
there aren't bats in here.

You mean flying mammals?

- Yeah.
- Shh.

Listen.

Sounds like machinery.

Okay, very quietly now.
Come on.

I don't believe this.

The missing men.

That m*ssile is very similar
to our X-12.

Yeah, you could blow up
a t*nk with that thing.

That's correct.

All right, put your
weapons down here.

I'd like you to meet
my friend, Capt. Cordoba.

You know, your moves aren't any
better than my lady friend over here.

And he sent
that homing device...

back to Rivertown with one of my
men, it made you think I left.

You're not the only one that
can play a good con game.

Nikki, you wanted to meet
your brother, huh, sweetheart?

Craig!

Nikki!

An ambitious project, Cordoba.

When you have a small army,
you must carry a big stick.

And in this case, a m*ssile.

I will be able to secure the presidential
palace within a couple of minutes.

With an army as small as mine.

The presidential security
suspects nothing.

No a*mo depots have been hit...

nothing traceable has been
smuggled into the country.

The element of surprise
is the key.

And you've been supplying
the work force, right, Boyle?

It's nice.

What do you get out of it?

As soon as Cordoba takes over
the presidential palace...

he'll be running the country...

and I'm sure he'll find something
interesting for me to do.

Move!

Well, excuse us, gentlemen.

We no longer need you,
the men, nor the machine shop.

Face? Murdock?
See how bad it is?

- You got it!
- Right.

Hey, B.A., let's
see what we got in here?

I'll be darned.

We're never gonna
get out of here.

We need a bulldozer
to get through there.

Yeah, it's just our luck.
I don't see any.

I'd better go enlighten
the colonel.

All right. They don't wanna see this.
I'm gonna put it out.

All right.

- I can't get it out!
- Come on, Murdock!

Wait a minute.
I'll be there.

Well, Cordoba,
I won't be needing this.

Keep it, Boyle.

We need your expertise. Besides, your
adventurous self will enjoy the att*ck.

Thought you'd never ask.

Good!

Well, what's the story?

Well, did you
ever hear of King Tut?

We ain't ever getting
out of there, Colonel.

Hey, man, the first time ever
we have g*ns and a*mo.

And can't get out of here.

Well, the lights seem
to be staying on.

That means the exhaust fans
are working, too.

Oh, really? Hey, Face,
you got a cigar?

When's the last time I
didn't have a cigar for you?

Okay, now, this is the plan.

All right, Murdock.

I like it.

Good work, B.A.

I don't believe it.
We did it!

All right!

Come on, Face!

We go in right after
the launch, huh?

President Ortega is in
for a big surprise, no?

Ready, Murdock?

Quick!

You, to the jeep!
Charge them!

Hannibal, we need more potato sticks!
Got a fly on our tail.

Give yourself up, gentlemen!
You do not have a chance!

Throw out your weapons!

You want
our weapons? Okay.

Here, here's the b*ll*ts first.

It's Craig and the workers
from the mine.

All right!

Sheriffs of Rivertown,
I'm gonna miss this job.

Hey, if it weren't for you guys,
there wouldn't even be a Rivertown.

Yeah, there wouldn't be
a Craig Monroe, either.

So, if you ever come to Oklahoma,
you should look us up.

I'll fix you one of my
special home-cooked meals.

Just...

do me a favor and promise
not to make any fists.

Yeah, well, actually...

fighting's not really my strong suit.
I'm much more...

adept at romantic endeavors.

If you don't wanna miss the
plane, you better get a move on.

Yeah.

You ready, sis?

Yeah.

Thanks again.

Good luck.

Adios, amigos.

Speaking of planes, Hannibal...

Now, wait. What?

Oh, B.A., you're not mad
just because...

we flew you down here?

Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute!

Remember your oath
as a deputy...

not to hurt other deputies.

I see three badges on the table.

That means you are civilians.
I still got my badge.

And as the official
law officer of Rivertown...

I'm giving you guys
two days in jail.

I love it...

when a plan comes together.