Jerry, nice tie!
Hey Garth, thanks for faxing that letter yesterday.
You are great!
Bobby! My man!
You are great!
Bobby! My man!
Good morning, Corky!
I'm not going to ask who she was, Frank.
I just hope that you were careful.
I'm not going to ask who she was, Frank.
I just hope that you were careful.
And that you at least call her sometime today.
To say "Thank you."
Come on, Corky.
Can't a guy just be in a good mood?
Maybe I'm feeling very popular today.
Can't a guy just be in a good mood?
Maybe I'm feeling very popular today.
Very likable.
Very recognizable.
About points more recognizable than
Felt last year!
Frank! You didn't!
You'll get us all into trouble!
Jim, Frank got a hold of the TVQ ratings again!
Oh, for heaven's sake, Frank.
Every year, it's the same thing.
Following your popularity up and down
Like the bouncing ball at a Mitch Miller sing-a-long.
You b*at Brinkley.
Oh, baby.
Come on. You're hogging it.
There it is.
Still in the top ten.
You know, I was worried my divorce
might cause a backlash.
You know, I was worried my divorce
might cause a backlash.
But I guess tragedy makes people
open their hearts to you even more.
You know, if Will had cheated on me
instead of just being a Doofus
I bet I could have made number .
How'd Murph do?
I'm looking.
Still looking.
Oh, my.
She dropped. How could that be?
Murphy never drops.
Well, she has now.
By one and a half points.
Good morning, people.
What's up?
I am. By two points.
Well, once again, it seems some naughty little reporter's
been investigating an area they shouldn't be.
Give it to me.
Come on. Right now.
It was Frank.
Big surprise.
Don't let Murphy see this.
Hey, everybody.
Looky, looky. Found a dollar in the parking lot.
Oh, yes. It's going to be a good day.
She hasn't seen it.
She's going to find out eventually.
She always does.
Now, I'd... I'd break it to her, but I
I think it'd be kinda hard to take from
someone who's up two points.
Oh. Poor Murphy.
So unsuspecting.
So happy.
We can't let her go on like this.
Yeah, we can. Sure we can. Moving on.
Miles
There's a time b*mb in that office.
You leave it alone, ticking away
never knowing when or where it will explode
Or you can put on your protective suit.
Get in there and detonate her now.
You're right, Jim.
It's the only thing to do.
So I'll just do it.
The lord is my shepherd.
Murphy, hi.
Little update. Story meeting at ten.
The TVQ came out today. There's fresh coffee. You want some?
What'd you say?
Meeting at ten.
No the other thing.
Coffee.
Miles!
Oh, uh, the middle thing.
TVQ's came out today.
Oh.
Don't worry.
I'm sure it's just a temporary drop.
Maybe it was that Reagan interview.
Remember you kept snapping your fingers
when he kept drifting off.
Miles, it's okay.
It's okay?
Yeah
I mean, I'm not surprised by this.
Look at the kind of stories I've been doing lately.
Tough, aggressive, in your face stories.
And any time you've put a nun in jail
People are bound to get upset.
Sure. The nun thing.
But, anyway, I'm proud of my work.
And, ultimately, that's more important than whether or not
Barbara Walters is more popular than I am.
She is.
Oh.
So she is.
Well, my point is, if you're going to get
the kind of stories I do, you have to be tough.
I mean, what am I going to do?
Plop Boris Yeltsin down on some flowered loveseat
And say, "Now Boris, tell me what makes you cry?"
Or go walking on a beach with Qaddafi and ask
if it hurts when people say mean things about him.
Boy, I'll bet I'd be popular then.
Oh. Huge.
This isn't good, is it?
No, it's not.
So what do I do?
Well
You could keep doing what you're doing.
Ignore public opinion. Assume it doesn't matter.
George Bush.
You could do something to help the public's perception of you.
Something along the lines of say
hiring a publicist
Miles, don't you remember what happened
the last time you brought up the topic.
Oh, ho, look.
I can still see the imprint
of your little face in the pebbles.
Murphy.
Plenty of journalists have publicists.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Corky has one.
Frank has a couple.
Jim doesn't have one.
Jim's a national treasure.
Okay, let's just say
for the sake of argument
my image needs a little adjusting.
You really think a publicist is the way to go?
If only the public could see you
the way I'm seeing you now.
Calm, vulnerable,
listening to a friend's opinion
with an open, non-threatening look on your face.
Answer the damn question!
Get a publicist.
Hello.
Murphy Brown.
Violet Prince. Call me Vi.
A foyer. I like that.
And here, a living room, two stories.
A balcony. A fireplace.
Charming, charming.
I'm looking. I'm thinking.
Architectural Digest.
Just so you know,
They are making decaffeinated beans now.
You might want to give it a try.
And while I have your attention,
Let me make myself clear.
I've never needed a publicist before
And I'm not really sure I need one now.
In my line of work, you people are the enemy.
You stand between me and the people
I try to interview.
I don't really like your profession.
I'm not sure I trust it.
Or should it be People Magazine?
Yes. Much better. More accessible.
Wider circulation.
If you don't have a dog, we can rent one.
Maybe you didn't hear what I said.
Honey, I've been doing this job
Since before God.
Not once have I been greeted
by someone saying
"My Q rating's down. I'm a little nervous.
"Please help me."
It would be nice.
But so would sex with Robert Redford.
And neither is going to happen.
So, Connie Chung is a friend of yours, right?
Did you catch her on Letterman?
Dan Rather on Arsenio?
Chancellor on Lenno?
Dan Rather on Arsenio?
Chancellor on Lenno?
My idea. My idea.
My secretary's, but I'm taking the credit for it.
No offense.
But we all know how those shows go.
The host makes a few jokes at your expense.
And then they ask you if they can
let a dog drink out of your mouth.
Murphy
The fact is you've got an image problem.
You come across as tough.
Maybe too tough.
I'm guessing that interview you did
last month with S*ddam Hussein
generated a rise in sympathy for him.
Honey, you scare people.
Believe it.
Eldin. My painter/nanny.
A painter. Splendid.
If I need more pastels
What can you give me?
A paint brush
And a view of me leaving.
Okay. Maybe you're right.
He gets to be right?
Sweetie, the morning's getting away from us.
So we need to find a way
to put more positive information
about you out there.
Let's start by jotting down
some of the good things you do
that you'd like people to hear about.
Don't be afraid to be sappy.
Good things she does, huh?
Quite the challenging game
to while away a dreary winter's day.
Oh, I know. I know.
Let an old lady get ahead of her in line at the grocery store.
That's a point for me. Who's next?
Eldin, wait. I'll tell you what I've done.
I've broken scandals that have
saved taxpayers millions.
I have sent corrupt politicians to prison.
I've discovered toxic waste dumping
That's resulted in more stringent laws.
Did I say People Magazine?
How about Who Gives a Fig Quarterly?
Murphy, maybe I haven't been clear.
No one's asking you to change your style.
You can be as tough as you want.
As long as you let some occasional
glimpse of warm shine through.
That's all I'm here to do.
Is to coax those glimpses
out of you.
But if you're okay
with a one and a half point drop
then I'll just be on my way.
This will give me a chance to spend
a little more time with Bob Dole.
Tuesday is his smiling practice.
Oh, that's Avery.
Look, Vi, don't go just yet.
Eldin, see if you can find that check I wrote to farm aid.
Which reminds me, they never sent me their T-shirt.
You know, now that I think about it.
That time at the grocery store.
When she saw that old lady
starting to pay in all pennies.
I think I'm back at zero.
I got some primer that I have to mix.
And this game is way too hard.
I am not going to do it.
No, I'm not.
I am not going to do it.
Okay. I am.
Oh, the little one.
You know, Murphy,
Seeing you with your son,
is a warm, beautiful image.
We'd be insane not to exploit it.
Oh, no. Time out.
It's hard enough on a kid having a famous mother.
I'm not going to drag him into the spotlight with me.
Okay, fine.
That's just one more magazine
cover for Kathy Lee Gifford.
But I'm getting an idea.
I'm mulling it. I'm loving it.
I'll call you after I set it up.
Wait a minute.
What is it?
Honey, I'm putting you on Mulberry Lane.
The kids' show?
You've seen it?
Revoltingly cute, isn't it?
I know Avery loves it.
All kids do.
And they watch it with their parents.
Just think.
You. Fuzzy puppets.
Major glimpse of warmth.
That's why I booked Hillary Clinton on it.
Now, I can bump Hillary
back a week or so.
She'll be upset,
But I'm still smarting over their tax plan
So who cares?
I'm off.
Wait a minute.
Can we just think about this for a while?
I'll call you tomorrow.
Fine. Later today.
Anyway, I just thought of one.
Oh, is she gone?
Just as well. I made it up anyway.
Hey there. Slugger.
Guys, I might as well tell you something now
because you're going to find out sooner or later anyway.
I met with a publicist this morning.
Oh, really?
So, I guess
this means
That's right.
Hell froze over.
Pigs are flying.
And you've picked up a check.
I met with a publicist, Frank.
A person can change their mind.
Well, Murphy, I think it's wonderful
that you're mature enough
to realize you need help.
By the way,
If Circus of the Stars calls
Don't let them talk you into
don't let them talk you into doing a trapeze act with Robert Urich.
I did it last year.
And his feet were very slippery.
Thanks for the tip, Corky.
But I'm going to be in Branson, Missouri that week.
I'm headlining at Yakov Smirnoff's
What a Country Theater.
I don't know.
Maybe this whole thing was a mistake.
This publicist is coming up with ideas
I'm not very comfortable with.
This morning she actually suggested
that I appear on Mulberry Lane.
I know.
It's a crazy idea, isn't it?
A professional journalist
appearing on a children's show.
Let's talk about something else.
You know, Murphy,
Lots of journalists have been on Mulberry Lane.
I think Katie Couric was on once.
I'm pretty sure Peter Jennings was, too.
And don't forget McNeil and Lehrer.
Then why is it such a crazy idea
for me to be on the show.
Well
Well, why did you say it was crazy?
Because any self respecting journalist
has to question the appropriateness
of appearing on a show for children.
Let's talk about something else.
I want to understand this.
For some reason, you seem to find it amusing
that I would appear on Mulberry Lane.
I'm just curious as to why.
Well if
Mulberry Lane wants to
add you to their roster of guests
they would be wise to do so.
They're not going to let you sing, are they?
Not that you don't have a
charming voice.
It's just that the experience might be a little too intense
for younger viewers.
I just want you to know
that I only laughed because Frank and Jim did.
And I'm sure you wouldn't look nearly as awkward
as we think.
Amazing.
When I said I needed to show my warmer side,
I just didn't think I needed to show it to my friends.
You think I can't be warm? I can be warm.
Of course. Warm as hell.
You're just saying that.
But I am going to do Mulberry Lane.
And I will dripping warmth.
We are talking melt a puppet warmth.
Doesn't that look delicious?
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Okay, I've got a week to work on it.
It's good. It's very good.
But if it's going to be a mugglelump house
It needs more windows.
The mugglelump people hate feeling closed in.
Excuse me. I'm Murphy Brown.
And thicker cushions on those mugglelump chairs.
They have very tender bottoms.
Oh, Jess Phillips.
Welcome to Mulberry Lane.
Thanks. This is so great.
All the little buildings. The vegetable cart.
My son loves the vegetable cart.
Oh, that reminds me.
Mr. Green Grocer.
Is he weird about autographs?
Not at all.
Just try not to get him when he's hosing down the fruit.
That's his quiet time.
I see you got the script.
Actually, I haven't really memorized it yet.
I've had a very hectic week.
I don't know if you saw my interview Wednesday
with Warren Christopher.
I think I was fair with him.
Tough, sure. But fair. What do you think?
I don't watch television after in the morning.
I find it painful.
Now, if you'll just stand right over here,
Let's see who's playing on Mulberry Lane today.
Oh, Kelbo.
Hi there.
I'm Murphy Brown.
Don't look down there.
Why not?
Tell her, Jess.
We just want you to relate directly to Kelbo.
Because if you believe in Kelbo
Then the audience does too.
And Kelbo hates it when people don't believe in him.
Oh, I do. I do. I really, really do.
Okay.
Nice to meet you Kelbo.
Likewise, I'm sure.
Well,
Isn't anyone going to introduce me?
And this, of course, is Murphy Brown Bear.
Wow. Great jacket.
And I may be biased
But I think she is much classier
than your Linda Ellerbee.
No contest.
Now, before we get started,
Is there anything we can get you.
Coffee, tea, juice box?
No, I just wish I had more time to memorize my lines.
Hey, hey, the script is just a guideline.
We like to be free here.
Let our imaginations go.
That's why we tape the rehearsal.
We get a lot of fun stuff that way.
Yeah, like the time Robert deNiro
challenged me to a scary face contest.
Now, come on. You're not allowed to worry
when you're on Mulberry Lane.
You'll be fine.
Just be yourself.
That's what people like to see.
All right.
Tell me, Kelbo.
Has Barbara Walters ever been on the show?
I don't think so.
But I hear she's very popular.
Okay, everybody.
It's another bright, shiny day on Mulberry Lane.
Cameras rolling.
And action.
Hello. I'm Murphy Brown Bear.
Mulberry Lane's ace reporter.
Today we're going to learn about asking questions.
And who better to learn from
than Murphy Brown herself.
I like Murphy Brown.
It's such a pleasure to be here with both of you.
It's important to ask questions.
because you can learn a lot by asking questions.
Isn't that right, Murphy?
Oh, you bet it is, Murphy.
If ever you're lost
or you want to find out more about someone.
Asking questions is a great way
to find the answers.
Yes, now,
Do you ask a lot of questions
as a reporter?
Oh, I sure do.
I talk to a lot of
very interesting people
and ask them a lot of
very interesting questions
Of course, sometimes that makes
me seem tougher than I like to be
but sometimes prominent figures don't want to answer questions
the public has a right to have answered.
You see, the press is only exercising
the rights guaranteed to them under the
first amendment, but as I told you
which, as I'm sure you know,
is the cornerstone of our constitution.
Huh?
And I'm sure that if all the Mommies and Daddies
who are out there watching think about it,
they'll understand, that's why I have to be
so darn tough.
That's why I have to ask questions like
"Tell me, Senator, do you honestly
"that Oliver North organized
"the diversion of funds to the Nicaraguan Contras
"without higher authority?"
We like to ask questions like, "How old are you?"
or "What color is my fur?"
It's very good.
But let's just hold it a minute, okay?
Is there a problem?
You did say we could go off script.
Oh, sure, sure, but the words you're using.
amendment, diversion, Contras.
They're not exactly in a four-year-old's vocabulary.
Well, I don't mean to tell you how to do your job,
but if kids don't hear those words, how are they going
to learn them? And aren't we supposed to be educating here.
Yes, but we're teaching
them the alphabet, and you're preparing them for the bar exam.
Okay, I'll try to take it down a notch.
I knew you could.
Jess, should I be hugging the puppets more?
No. Not really.
Just checking.
Okay, cameras rolling, and action.
Now, I'm going to ask Murphy Brown
some questions to learn more about her.
Do you like being a reporter?
Oh, yes.
I've wanted to be a reporter ever since I was
a very little girl.
Especially after I saw
Edward R. Murrow's legendary report
accusing Joseph McCarthy of misleading
the public as to the [~] of communism.
Oh, yeah.
He was tough, but you didn't see anyone giving him
a hard time.
Excuse me, Kelbo. I believe
I was talking.
You talk a lot.
That's what reporters are paid to do.
Then you must make a fortune.
Actually, I became a reporter to serve the
public good.
(mimicking) Actually I became a reporter to serve the public good.
You know, that's very cute, but it's not nice to mimic someone.
(mimicking) It's not nice to mimic someone.
I'm going to have to ask you to stop that.
(mimicking) I'm going to have to ask you to stop that.
Hey, this time, I mean it.
(mimicking) Hey, this time, I mean it.
Knock it off.
(mimicking) Knock it off.
You're hurting my friend.
Aw, buzz off.
I knew we should have gotten Barbara Walters.
All right, that's it, you little...
I'm a respected journalist.
Can I do that again? I can do that better.
I know I can do it better.
Murphy.
Morning.
Don't you sneak away from me.
I want to hear all about it.
How did it go on Friday?
Go?
Mulberry Lane?
Oh, just swell.
I'm really swamped. I gotta go.
There's my little Sherri Lewis.
I can feel our demographics widening.
As we speak.
Women - .
Men, and up.
And know, children, - .
Mommy, mommy, can we stay up and watch
that new show with that sweet blond lady.
We love her.
So when's it going to be on?
Well, they don't really have a date.
They're trying to find the best time.
Christmas. Spring. . I'll let you know.
Murphy Brown.
Oh, hi Eldin.
What?
What!?
It can't be on.
It was a disaster.
I'm still picking Kelbo fur
out from under my fingernails.
(singing) Sometimes people are mean.
Bobby, get me my publicist.
Forget it, Murph. She just called.
I know it looks bad.
But when the camera's not on,
those puppets turn into nasty,
backbiting little rodents.
And what about that re-editing?
Are they allowed to do that?
I could sue their fuzzy little butts off.
Oh, that'll be great for your TVQ.
Suing the most beloved kids' show of all time.
What if it's a kids show.
They wouldn't even let me use the word Contras.
You know, this is all your stupid fault, Miles.
It was your idea I see a publicist
in the first place.
Me?!
Don't you think this show has been very educational?
Yes.
Yes, yes, thank you, Jim.
Sometimes people are mean.
What's so funny?