Julia roberts
was giving me the eye.
She was sitting in her chair,
she looked over her shoulder
And gave me the eye.
You were yelling, "hey,
pretty woman! Over here!"
She was giving you something,
but it wasn't the eye.
You saw
julia roberts?
And armand assante.
They were filming
outside the supreme court.
She gave me the eye.
Wonderful. Another invasion
from tinsel town.
A gaggle of pony-tailed
hollywood types waltz into town
Block off traffic for hours
And then run off to have orgies
in their trailers.
I know.
Isn't it exciting?
Come on, jim.
This isn't your
typical hollywood trash.
This is a political thriller
being filmed by louis malle.
His stuff
is always
So intelligent
and perceptive.
If I could get five minutes,
I know I could convince him...
Aw, frank, don't tell me
You want a cameo
in this thing too.
I heard wolf blitzer
hand-delivered a dozen roses.
Ted koppel sent
a magnum of champagne
And connie chung did everything
but show up as catwoman.
The whole thing's
an embarrassment.
Murphy's right.
Reputable journalists
stumbling over one another
So they can play themselves
in a movie.
It blurs the line between
journalism and entertainment.
Uh-huh.
Soon, we'll have
Peter jennings behind the wheel
of a talking car
And the fresh prince of bel air
reporting live from the mideast.
On the other hand
Sometimes, it can be
a really good thing.
When?
Oh, sure, jim.
You can pick apart any argument
With those old
debate team tactics of yours.
They offered you a part
In this movie,
didn't they?
Maybe.
Oh, you lucky!
You're not doing it?
I'd be lying if I told you
I wasn't tempted.
Clearly, there are some
strong arguments against it.
I can't spare the time,
it could damage my credibility
And it raises
some valid ethical questions.
Yep, I'm really going to have
to mull this one over.
She's going to do it.
Gee, you think?
Of course, I'm going to.
Well, as they
say in hollywood
That's a wrap.
The deal is closed.
I can't hear you
on the car phone.
I'm going
through a canyon.
They didn't happen
To ask about
my availability, did they?
Sorry, frank.
But listen to this.
I have a small but pivotal role.
I'm a "plot point."
I'm not sure what that means,
but I think it means
They can't cut me
out of the movie.
Don't you believe it.
The producers of
all the president's men
Told me if I let them
sh**t in phil's
I could hand redford
his coat in a scene.
Oh, yeah, that was a good deal.
Lost a whole week's worth
of business for the privilege
Of seeing my left index finger
on the silver screen.
You met robert redford?
What was he like?
Like being in
the presence of an angel.
Hey there, miles.
Hey there, phil.
Hello, people, and greetings
From our affiliates
in new england.
You should have seen me.
I pressed the flesh
at six stations?
Swung by the l.l. Bean factory,
got myself some chinos
And still had time to pick up
four jugs of maple syrup
For the best news team
in the business.
(Whimpering:)
oh, god.
Forget your gooey pants, miles.
Murphy's got some exciting news
to tell you.
I'm going to be in
a louis malle film next week.
Really? I'm starring
in the next spielberg movie
Indiana jones
and the temple of beth shalom.
I'm not starring in it.
I have a small but pivotal role.
You're going to be
in this movie?
Not just be in it,
I'm a plot point.
The network won't let you.
They have a policy.
What policy?
Newspeople may not appear
In entertainment telecasts
or movies.
No one reads my memos.
Look, I understand the network
Wants to maintain
the image of its journalists
But I'm not about
to damage my reputation.
I'm capable of deciding what's
appropriate for murphy brown
And I expect-- no, I demand--
to be treated that way.
Well, that is
a pretty persuasive argument.
Yeah. Just add the phrase,
"give me back that bottle"
And it's the same speech
she was screaming
Right before they carted her off
to betty ford.
I can handle heads of state
I think I can handle
the head of a network.
Strength
in numbers, murph
And besides,
this is a battle
I'm probably going
to have to fight
One day myself.
Yeah. Probably.
Hi. We're here for our :
with mr. Lansing.
You're late.
Well, no, we're not.
You're late,
and your watch is broken.
Take a seat.
Uh, mrs. O'brien?
I'm pretty sure
This is a no-smoking building.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, well, you're smoking.
Listen, sweetie,
I've been secretary
To every president
of this network for years.
If you think I'm sitting
In that utility closet
they call a smoking lounge
Every time I want a drag,
you're nuts.
I don't give a...
Why don't we
take a seat?
Murph, if you want
to get in to see god
It's probably not a good idea
to tick off st. Peter.
Shriveled little gnome.
I bet that's not even
her own hair.
I can hear you.
Doesn't matter where you sit.
I can hear you.
You can tell the parents
of those tolan twins
That if their identical
little butts
Are not back
on the set by noon
I'll get two jockeys
to replace them.
Find me two jockeys
And get them
the same haircut.
Murphy, how are you?
Come right in.
Thanks for seeing us, stan.
We won't take up
much of your time.
Oh, I always have time
to see you, murphy
And, frank, I've been
meaning to tell you.
That piece you did when you rode
with the cops on the drug bust--
Unbelievable.
Nobody does
life-threatening stuff
Like you do.
You're on the top of your game.
Thanks. I wish I could say
the same about my golf game.
Ha! Tell me about it!
I'm still trying to break
these days.
Do what I do.
Quit after holes.
How's that lovely wife
of yours, jean?
We're divorced, fontana.
She took me for
everything I own.
My mother d*ed last year.
You want to ask about her too?
Murph?
Well, yes, stan.
The reason we're here
Is that I was offered a role--
A small but pivotal role--
In louis malle's new film
And, uh,
to make a long story short
I said yes.
I gather you were not aware
Of our new policy.
Exactly. You see
what an awkward position
This puts me in.
I've agreed to do the movie...
Say no more.
I completely understand.
I knew you would.
Blame me for the whole thing.
They'll have
to understand
That network policy
is network policy.
What?
Frank, have one
of those chocolates.
They're belgian.
Oh, well, okay. Sure.
It will melt
in your mouth.
Mmm.
Huh? Huh?
Uh, stan,
when I said awkward position
What I meant was...
One. One. Who said two?
What, were you raised
by wolves?
Don't put it back!
Nobody wants
used chocolate!
Eat it already!
Eat the whole thing.
What is wrong with you?
He just ate your chocolate.
Anyway, murphy
If that solves
your problem
Let's get on
to another crisis.
Actually, stan, it doesn't.
I want to do this movie.
Oh, I see.
If I could
make an exception
I'd do it for you,
but policy is policy.
The policy stinks.
I'm sorry
you feel that way
But we need the policy
In order to maintain
network integrity.
Excuse me?
The same network that put on
he's not my monkey
Is suddenly worried
about its integrity?
Are you saying that
we're not doing art here?
Is this news to me?
We got a single mother
with three kids at : .
I got a single father
with three kids at : .
I got a black, single mother
with two kids at : .
I got a stand-up comic
that nobody ever heard of
With no kids at :
And over here,
we got the crap slot.
Nothing works here.
But we're fighting
for our lives
To b*at the other guys'
crap slot.
But the news division
is a totally different story.
It's our prized asset.
I'll do everything
that I can do to protect it.
Murphy:
and I applaud that...
But I think I'm capable
Of deciding what material
is appropriate for me
So forgive me if
I have trouble complying
With some blanket,
arbitrary policy
That treats me
like a child.
What the hell
a you doing, fontana?
Get away from that!
Look what you did!
That's not bad.
Not bad at all.
Well, uh, really?
Maybe if I were
to t this one...
Lansing:
no, no, no.
Get away from that board!
Stay over there.
Give me back
: , : , : .
Murphy, I hate to put it
in these terms
But when you signed
your contract
You agreed to abide
by the policies of this network.
Stan, I hate to put it
in these terms
But what if I
ignore the policy
And do the movie anyway?
I would be very disappointed.
I think I could live with that.
I would dock you
two weeks' pay.
Well, then
you better call accounting.
Let's go, frank.
Wow!
She's a pretty tough cookie.
That's the kind of moxie
we pay her the big bucks for.
Yeah. Well, uh... You know,
I couldn't live with myself
Unless I spoke up
about this policy too.
I'm with murph.
I think it stinks.
We don't pay you
for your moxie, fontana.
Get out of here!
And close the door.
What, were you born
In a barn?
It starts like this--
A policy restricting
our personal freedoms
And the next thing
you know
We're calling
each other comrade
And launching sputnik.
Eldin, I'm home!
Why do I bother
Putting paint stripper
on the patio door?
I could just point you
in that direction
And let you shriek
for five minutes.
This came for you.
I bet it's the script.
Ooh, look,deadline.
Get it?
It's a m*rder mystery,
and it involves news people.
Deadline. Clever.
It came with a hat.
Can I have that?
Is the name frank fontana
on this package?
"Is the name frank fontana
on this package?"
What is the story
Of this
stupid movie, anyway?
Armand assante
plays a cop
Trying to solve
a senator's death
And julia roberts is
a biochemical engineer
Who helps him
trace the m*rder*r
Through his dna.
We're supposed to buy
julia roberts
As a biochemical engineer?
Yeah.
Apparently, she wears glasses.
Not me. Not me.
Not me.
Oh, baby.
I get grilled by armand assante.
I was
the last person
To interview
the dead guy.
Hey, frank
Read through my scene.
I'm armand assante.
Sure. Eldin?
What?
Play his partner.
Get out of here.
Why not?
I'm not going
to act.
It's embarrassing.
Nobody's watching.
I'll give you
bucks.
Let me see it.
I'll write you
a check!
Start, frank.
(With latin accent:)
"hello, ms. Brown.
"It is a pleasure
meeting you.
I am detective..."
What are you doing?
I'm reading the part.
You're supposed
to be playing armand assante
Not ricky ricardo.
I am playing assante.
He talked that way
in mambo kings.
He played a cuban.
That's not how
he normally talks.
Just do it in a regular voice
but sexier
And act more with your eyes.
Okay, fine.
I'll do it
the boring way.
"Hello, ms. Brown.
"It's a pleasure meeting you.
"I'm detective murdoch
"And this is my partner,
detective wong.
"Go easy on him.
It's his last day
before retirement."
Great.
I'm going to die.
Whenever it's their last day,
they die.
I didn't want to act
in the first place.
Now I'm going to die.
Eldin, you're ruining
my concentration
"Ms. Brown, you were
the last person
"To see
the senator alive.
"Do you remember
any details
That could help
our investigation?"
"It was
a standard interview.
I asked him questions,
he avoided answering them."
Ooh, that's good.
I would say something
like that.
"Did he seem
agitated?"
"He kept fidgeting
with a key.
It had some kind
of orange rubber top on ."
"Dulles airport locker.
"I am on it.
Give me
the car keys."
There it is.
The car explodes.
Two lousy lines,
and, bam...
People are wiping me
off their eyeglasses.
I hate acting.
Just go on, frank.
"Well, ms. Brown..."
(Clearing throat)
"I guess it's true
what they say about you.
You're as observant
as you are... Beautiful."
Wow. This is
really good writing.
Yeah, brilliant.
"Say, what would
really help me out here
Is if I could take a look
at your interview notes."
"No problem.
I'll go get them."
Right. Like I'd
really give up my notes.
It's good writing,
and it's funny too.
It's not a joke.
Sure it is.
I'd never give up my notes.
No self-respecting
journalist would.
Well, apparently,
you would
Because on the next page,
you give him your notes.
I don't believe this.
I actually hand my notes
over to a cop.
It's totally unreal.
This is the problem
with hollywood today.
They don't care
about being real.
That's why people stopped going
to those billy jack movies.
After a while,
they just stopped being real.
You know, murph
This may not be
as big a problem as you think.
Maybe you're right, frank.
Maybe it's not
that big a problem.
Maybe sacrificing
my journalistic integrity
In front of millions of people
is a good thing.
Okay, fine. I won't
tell you my idea.
What's your idea?
Can I have the hat?
What's your idea?
You just go
to louis malle.
You tell him you have
a problem with the script.
Give the hat back.
He may not know
There's something
inaccurate
In there.
Maybe it's worth a sh*t
Because I sure
can't do this stuff
The way
it's written now.
I could.
Did I say that
out loud?
Ms. Brown? Hi.
I?m deena,
mr. Malle's assistant.
We weren't expecting you
until friday.
I know. I just came by
to talk to mr. Malle.
They asked me
to wait over here.
Well, he's right
in the middle
Of setting up a sh*t
And we're running
A little
behind schedule.
But I'll make sure
he knows you're waiting.
This is terrible.
We've wasted
the whole morning.
How come nobody told me
This senator d'amato
was such a dead fish?
Excuse me, mr. Malle.
Oh, murphy brown, hi.
I'm delighted
you'll be working with us
Thanks for dropping by.
We'll see you friday,
okay?
Yes, you will.
I just wondered
If we can discuss
the script.
I have some questions.
Script questions.
And you say
you've never acted before.
They're just
petite things
But I'm sure you want
to be as accurate as possible.
Of course.
Well, here on page
You refer
to my "managing editor"
When what I think you mean
is my "executive producer."
Uh-huh.
And fyi, my news show,
we don't pre-tape.
We go out live.
I'm embarrassed
we got it wrong.
Consider it fixed.
Thank you.
See you friday.
Actually, there's
just one more thing.
I would never give
my notes to a detective.
Uh-huh.
But you understand
he must have the notes.
It's not something
a good journalist would do.
It would compromise
my integrity.
Oh, we certainly
don't want to do that.
But you see my problem.
What is armand going to say?
"She won't give me
her notes.
"I can't solve the m*rder.
Maybe I'll just go home."
That would make
for a very short movie
With little chance
of a sequel.
Well, I see that
that wouldn't work
But maybe there's another way
he could get the notes.
Maybe he could get
a subpoena.
No, that would take
too much time.
Maybe he could break
into the newsroom at night.
He's a cop.
He wouldn't do that.
We can get it if we just
put on our thinking caps.
Louis, they're ready.
He'll be there
in a minute.
Not now. We have
our thinking caps on.
So, then
No breaking in,
no subpoena.
What if, uh,
what if he sleeps with you
Then goes
for your notes
Before you wake up?
Hmm...
No. We can't
do that.
That would mean
f*ring julia roberts
And we've already paid her
a lot of money.
Well, now you're kidding me.
I have to say,
when you cast julia roberts...
Isn't she just
a little young for him?
I realize I'm talking to the man
who directed pretty baby,but...
You know, ms. Brown
Since you seem to have
so many problems
With the movie...
I'll noodle around
with the script
And see what I can come up with.
Is there a trailer I could use?
You want to rewrite the script?
Could you do it quickly?
Because then I may need you
to help me set up my next sh*t.
Well, now,
you're being sarcastic.
The lights are hot,
and armand is wearing wool.
Ms. Brown,
I'm beginning to think
This may not work out.
I'm just trying to give you
a little friendly criticism.
When the reviewers do it,
they may not be so kind.
And I am a film buff.
Are you familiar
with the billy jack movies?
Billy jack?
She's talking to me
about billy jack.
Cette femme est cinglee.
Quelle emmerdeuse.
I understand french well enough
to know what you just said
And I don't appreciate it.
You know
what the problem is?
You don't understand
the american culture.
There are subtle shadings
in our language
That you clearly
don't comprehend.
How's this for shadings?
You're history. Vamoose.
Happy trails to you.
You're f*ring me?
Bingo.
Call diane sawyer.
Ask her
if she'll reconsider.
You know,
I'm glad this happened
Because I admit it,
I was being vain.
I was blinded
by the glitter and the glamour.
But this has opened my eyes.
Journalists should never cross
that line into entertainment.
Thank god,
I still have my integrity.
Why are you still talking?
I'm going,ut part of me
will always be here
Reminding you of the truth
you chose to ignore.
I pity the man
Who lives with her.
Murphy, hi.
Stan, if you came
To talk me out of being
in this movie, save your breath.
I'm not doing it.
Well, actually...
Mr. Lansing, they're ready.
What?!
You're in the movie?
Hey, I have no on-air integrity
to protect.
Besides
How can I pass up
a chance to play poker
In a scene
with armand assante?
I get to shuffle.
Gore vidal cuts.
They need me.
Louis! Mon ami!
Lansing:
sorry, detective,
but I've got three aces.
Malle:
cut! A little
more excited, please.
It's three aces.
That's a good thing.
Deena:
poker scene, take .
(Clapsticks)
Lansing:
ha ha ha.
Sorry, detective,
but I've got two aces!
Malle:
cut!
Lansing:
I know. Three aces.
I made a mistake.
Gore distracted me.
Deena:
poker scene, take .
Lansing:
sorry, detective,
but I've got three...
Malle:
cut! Cut!
Why is someone
walking behind that window?
I'm going.
I'm going.