02x06 - New Girl at School

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Father Knows Best". Aired: October 3, 1954 - May 23, 1960.*
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The series, which began on radio in 1949, follows the lives of the Andersons, a middle-class family living in the town of Springfield.
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02x06 - New Girl at School

Post by bunniefuu »

Announcer: robert young...

And jane wyatt.

With elinor donahue, billy
gray, and lauren chapin...

Here she comes,
bud. Here she comes.

Boy! What a queen.

Bang.

Hi, honey!

Oh!

What are you laughing at?

Do I look that
funny? It's not you.

It's our hitherto-woman-
disdaining offspring.

I suggest you
prepare for the worst.

What do you mean?

Bud has been stabbed by one
of cupid's deadlier arrows...

A blonde has come into his life.

Uh-oh.

Well, who is this blond charmer?

Some girl in the neighborhood?

I don't know. I've
never seen her before.

But she's pretty attractive,
I'll say that much for her.

Maybe there's a
new girl at school.

Today was registration day.

Well, she certainly registered
on bud and joe phillips.

Oh ho ho!

When I think of the blissful
misery and suffering

He's going to go through
in the next few weeks.

Well, I'm glad I don't have
to go through it again.

I remember a little blond girl
that struck our high school.

I was ready to die for her.

Who was that? Oh, I don't know.

I don't even remember her name.

But I was sure I never
would get over that.

Did you?

Yes, of course, certainly.

What was her name?

I told you, I don't remember.

Gwendolyn or
charmaine or... Oh, hi, bud.

Hi, dad.

What's new? Oh, I don't know.

How was registration today?

Okay, I guess.

Uh, any new students?

I don't know. I guess so.

Don't eat a lot of ice
cream. You'll spoil dinner.

No, I won't. I just need something
to tide me over until we eat.

Well, at least go and wash.

And, bud, I wish you wouldn't
go around looking so tacky.

You've got better
things to wear than that.

What do you want me to do,
go around looking like a sissy?

No, but it seems to me you'd
want to look a little respectable

If you're interested in a girl.

What girl?!

Well, I mean... Any girl.

I assume you're at the age
when you're interested in them.

Now, go and wash.

Go on in. Go on.

Mommy, daddy?

I'd like to present
my new boyfriend.

His name is grover adams.

Well, it's nice to
know you, grover.

How do you do, grover?

Isn't he nice? And look here.

I can whup him, too!

Oh, kathy! I'm ashamed of you!

That's no way to
treat your friend.

Oh, that's okay, mrs. Anderson.

I let her whup me.

You know how it
is, mr. Anderson.

Papa says you have
to pamper women.

Oh, I see.

Take my sister, for example.

Uh, you say your name is adams?

Uh-huh.

You said you had a
sister. What's her name?

You want her new
name or her old one?

She's got two? More than that.

I used to call her toad-frog,

'Cause she'd "bup-bup"
when she didn't get her way.

You watch what
you say about her!

You're talking
about the girl i...

Gosh, i... Well,
she's my sister.

Well, have a little
respect for sisters.

Boy, that's a new one.

Just tell me her name.

Well, it used to be agnes.

But she didn't like that,
so she changed it to april.

April adams.

How come she picked
a silly name like that?

On account of her birthday.

Oh, her birthday's in april?

Nope. July.

It was the 5th of july,

But everybody was so
wore out from the 4th

That nobody paid much
attention to her birthday.

So, she changed it to april.

What date?

Well... It varies.

It comes on the second friday.

She figured friday's the
best night for a party.

She has things worked
out pretty well, I'd say.

Well... Where do you live?

About a block and a
half down that way.

Big brown house.

I thought it was going
to be a brief autumn storm.

Looks like it might
turn into a hurricane.

You'd better hoist
the storm signals.

Better just lock him
up in the storm cellar

Till this blows over.

Joe? Bud. Listen.

I know everything...
Her first name,

Where she lives, her birthday.

Uh, april. Well,
no, that's her name.

Well, it's that, too. In the brown
house, just down the street.

So she'll have to come right
by here on her way to school...

Every day, dad! Every day!

Oh, dad-dad-daddy.

Slug me with a
sledge and let me lie.

I'll see you later,
joe. So long.

Egad. You up already?

Sure. Why not? It's morning.

Is it really you? The
famous petrified log

We used to have to haul
out of bed every morning

With a 20-mule-team?

Hey, margaret, come here!

The age of miracles
isn't passed after all.

Aw, cut it out, dad. Just because
a guy gets up in the morning,

You don't have to make
a federal case out of it.

Look at him. He's up, and I
didn't even have to call him once.

Well, wonderful!
If you keep this up,

You'll make me the happiest...

Oh, wait a minute.

What are you putting
on your good suit for?

This isn't sunday.

You wanted me to look
a little respectable.

But you don't have to overdo it.

You'll ruin that suit at school.

Now, put on your school clothes.

But, mom, look at my old
shoes. The heel's all run over.

Stop by the repair shop and
have them fixed. Shined, too.

But I want to make a good
impression on my teachers.

Change.

Dad?

Change.

Yeah, yeah, they could stand
a little refurbishing, all right.

Well, slip off the other.

I'll do a nice job for you, son.

Now, what kind of
heel did you figure?

I can give you the iron
bulldog or the super perfect?

Well, I don't care.
Bulldogs are okay.

Why don't you leave
it all to me, huh?

I'll do a nice job, son.

Hello there. I just bought
some awfully cute shoes,

But I don't like where
they put the bows.

Do you suppose you could move
them down just 1/8 of an inch?

I'll need them right away.

There's someone
ahead of you, ma'am.

Oh, why, this'll just
take a tiny second.

You're awfully sweet to do this.

Hello there.

Hello. Ha ha.

Uh... I'm getting
my shoes fixed.

Oh, really?

Uh... Getting new
heels... Bulldogs.

That sounds nice.

Probably get 'em half-sole, too.

Oh?

Oh, I know where I saw you.

Aren't you in one my classes?

Yeah, three of them...

Okay, miss. You'll find

This'll make a heap
of difference in them.

That'll be 30 cents.

Just charge them to daddy.

E.r. Adams at 721 maple.

Bye.

Oh, my gosh! A whole in
my sock, and she saw it!

Eh? What'd you say?

I'm ruined. She'll
never speak to me again.

Hi.

Hi, dad.

Well, you look as though
you've lost your best friend.

I lost more than that.

You know what happened
to me today, dad?

April... Or, the girl...

Saw me in my stocky feet
with a whole in my sock.

So what?

She probably doesn't
even know you're alive.

Alive? She's probably
at home right now,

Laughing her head off

Over that uncouth
goof bud anderson.

Son, women are much too
interested in themselves

To worry about anyone else.

Let's go in the house, get
something to eat. Come on.

Dad? Yeah?

There's one thing I don't
understand about women.

Just one thing? You're lucky.

Why is it whenever you
get around beautiful women,

You make a fool out of yourself?

Son, you're no exception.

This sort of thing has been
going on since adam and eve.

But I'm the world's worst.

I had the greatest opportunity

To make some great conversation,

And what do I do?

I say the stupidest
things, the dumbest junk.

Ah, yes.

Why is that?

Uh... There you've
hit on the question

That's been confounding the
masculine mind for years and years.

Let's go in the house,
get something to eat.

I don't think I'll
ever eat again.

Hi, daddy!

Hello, kitten.

Grover's helping me
carry the groceries.

Isn't he nice?

Helping you? Looks like
he's doing the whole thing.

Well, he said he
wanted to do it.

Oh, my shoe has come
untied again, grover.

Wait, kathy, don't
ask him to do that.

He's got his arms full already.

Oh, it's okay, mr. Anderson.

If we don't stop this kid,

He'll ruin everything
for the rest of us males.

Hey, bud. My sister said she
saw you at some store today.

Yeah? What'd she say?

I don't know if I
ought to tell you.

It's kind of funny.

She said you was cute. Yeah?

I wouldn't let it
worry you, though.

One minute that
dame says one thing,

And the next minute
she says another.

I told you to watch
what you say about her!

Huh?

April: grover!

Mother wants you
to come home, grover!

Hiya, kiddo.

Hello there... Bud.

Too bad. And he's
such a nice kid, too.

Father, I mean it!
Something's got to be done

Bud is the laughingstock
of the whole school.

He follows her around
like a little puppy

And carries her books and
waits on her hand and foot.

Did you know he even walks
that silly little poodle of hers?

That girl's making a
complete sl*ve out of him.

Even abraham lincoln
couldn't get him out of this.

It's ridiculous!

Well, I'll be the happiest mother
in town when he gets over it.

Oh, you're both dramatizing
this thing out of all proportion.

The anderson men
aren't that foolish.

Maybe so, but I still think
you'd better have a talk with bud

Before they name
april's fool day after him.

What does "passionate
heart" mean?

Huh? Where'd you get this?

I found it...

Accidentally in
bud's wastebasket.

Kathy, you shouldn't snoop.

You know you shouldn't
look at other people's...

Wait till you hear this.

"Alluring april,
supremely adorable,

My passionate heart
for you beats horrible."

Oh, brother!

I didn't think he'd deteriorated

To the point of
writing love poems yet.

That's probably why he's not
getting his schoolwork done.

Teacher: and now we come
to the present participle.

We can recognize
the present participle

By its "-ing" ending.

I am singing. She is walking.

Someone is not paying attention.

And so on.

We see that in these
cases, it's part of the verb.

Now, I'm going to give
you some sentences

Containing "-ing" words,

And I want you to tell me
if they're the correct uses

Of the present participle.

"I am leaving for mexico."

Is that correct?

Bud anderson?

Uh, what did you say?

"I am leaving for
mexico." Is that all right?

Sure, it's okay with me.

It wouldn't hurt you to pay
a little more attention, bud.

What is that
writing you're doing?

Oh, I'm just taking some notes.

Hey, give me that!

Teacher: bud, sit down!

That paper seems to be
causing quite a bit of commotion.

If it's that important,
perhaps we'd all better hear it.

Arlo, would you
read it, please? No!

Uh..."It's autumn,

"Yet sweet april's here...

Radiant and cool
beyond compare."

Arlo, that will do!

"If I was worthy of her charms,

I wouldst sweep
up her into my arms."

Arlo, I said that will do!

Bud! Bud, come back here!

Take your seat!

Whatcha doin' down here, son?

Growing mushrooms?

Dad, I know you came down here

To ask me a lot of questions.

Now, don't do it. Okay, I won't.

'Cause I'm not gonna
answer anything.

Good.

You know, we could make
a pretty good workshop

Out of this basement...

If we just wanted to.

Dad...

When you were a kid,

Did you ever make a big,
fat fool out of yourself?

Who, me? Certainly not.

Heh heh. At least not
more than once a week.

Oh, I pulled a dilly once.

I glued a picture of
my girl over my heart,

And darned if that
wasn't the same day

The school doctor came
around and examined our chests.

That's nothing to
the one I pulled.

I wrote a poem
about a certain girl.

Oh. Masculine rule number one...

Never put it in writing.

Writing it wasn't so bad.

That arlo bates
got a hold of it,

And the teacher made
him read it to the class.

Hmm. And you died
a thousand deaths.

It doesn't matter about me.

Look what I did to
her. I embarrassed her.

I disgraced her in front
of the whole class.

I can never make
this up to her, never.

I tried to think of some
present I could buy her,

But I couldn't think of
anything fine enough.

Oh, don't start
buying presents, bud.

Girls are expensive
enough as it is.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Throw myself in
the river, maybe.

Well, that's one possibility.

Either that or move
to hillsborough.

I don't know which.

That is a hard choice.

I remember what I used to use...

Throwing myself off of
a 200-foot water tower.

Gosh, didn't that hurt?

I didn't actually do it.

Oh.

Grover: oh, kathy?!

Oh, is kathy down
here, mr. Anderson?

No, she isn't home.
Just a minute, son.

Uh...

When you get home, you
might mention to your sister

That bud's decided the only
way he can make up to her

For her embarrassment

Is to, uh... Throw
himself in the river.

Okay, I'll tell her! So long!

Dad, I haven't decided yet.

Maybe it'll be hillsborough.

Well, it won't hurt
to do a little testing.

Get her reaction.

You know, sometimes it's just as
good to declare your intentions

As it is to go through with it.

Did you tell her?

Yeah, I told her.

What'd she say? What'd she say?

Nothing. Just laughed...

In front of bobo little.

Bobo little?

Yeah, he's over
there moonin' around.

Looks like he'll
be next on her list.

Kathy home yet?

Grover: kathy?!

Get this...

Baby, I'm tired of being
kicked around by you, see?

All you're doing is using me...

You and your fancy clothes
and your fluttering eyes.

Well, from now on, if you
want a worm to crawl after you,

You'll have to get a
different pigeon, see?

And another thing... Bud? Bud?

Bud, you mustn't have thoughts

About throwing
yourself in the river.

Well, I wasn't really, uh...

What was bobo little
doing over at your place?

Oh, that bore? I was trying to
get him to teach me my english,

But he doesn't know anything.

That's why I need... You.

Me?

Oh, bud, I'm so worried.

I'm afraid I'm gonna
flunk english.

Would you help me
just a tiny bit... Tonight?

Well, sure. What time do
you want me to be over?

Oh, our house is so confusing.

We'd probably never
get anything done.

Why don't you come
over here, then?

Oh, no. That's asking too much.

No, it's okay, it's okay.

Oh, well. Will
8:00 be all right?

Sure. Or 6:00, or 5:00.

Oh, bud, I was gonna
have this dress altered,

But I won't have time.

And I hate to lug it on
some other errands,

So would you keep it for
me? And I'll pick it up tonight.

But...

Oh, bud, I don't know
what I'd do without you.

See you tonight.

Jim, what does this mean?

Huh?

Bud just smuggled
this into the house.

What does it mean?

Good gosh! He's gone
and bought her a dress!

Hey, what's the big idea?

That's what I'd like to know.

What's the big idea of this?

It's april's.

Did you buy it for her?

No. She just didn't
want to lug it around

When she did some errands.

She's gonna pick it up tonight
when she comes over here to study.

To study? Yeah.

I'm gonna help her with
her english grammar.

You're going to help
someone with grammar?

Sure. Ain't that all right?

Yeah, uh... That
are okay, I guess.

Well, just don't get
that all wrinkled.

Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

I have a feeling there's more
to this than meets the eye.

Yeah, I must say things are
certainly changing rapidly.

A couple of hours ago,

He was contemplating
a watery grave.

Mother, just wait till
you... Oh, hello, father...

Hear what I have to tell you.

Bobo little...
Janie's brother...

Has a date with april
tonight. Tonight?

Yes, janie heard
him on the phone.

But april's coming over
to study with bud tonight.

What? Go on.

Well, it seems her folks
don't want her to date yet,

So she's gonna find an
excuse to get out of the house

And she's gonna meet
him in front of our place.

And... I don't know how
she's gonna work this...

But she plans to change into
her date dress at our house.

Well, I don't know how
she plans to work it, either,

But here's the dress.

I wonder how much
of this bud knows.

I can tell you... Nothing.
Oh, it makes me ill,

The way she wraps him
around her little finger.

I'm gonna phone that little
girl and tell her to stay at home.

And I'm also... No,
don't call her.

Let's go through with this.

Go through with it? But, jim...

Don't you realize
that she's using bud?

Just making a fool of him?

I know, I don't like
to subject him to this

Any more than you do,

But sometimes the best
way to learn a thing

Is the hard way.

Hello, bud. Hello.

Uh, I can't stay too long.

My mother told me
to come right home.

Okay.

Oh, hello there.

Hello, april. Hi.

All set for a grueling
academic evening?

Yes, but... I have
to leave soon.

Come on, april. We
can study in here.

All right.

Oh. Oh, betty...

I bought a new dress today,

And I wish you'd tell me if
it ought to be shortened.

Where is it, bud?

It's in the
closet, but... But...

It's really awfully cute.

But I'm not sure
about the length,

And I know you can
tell about such things

'Cause you always
dress so beautifully.

Maybe the best thing
to do is try it on.

Shall I change upstairs, betty?

Oh, no! Don't bother!
Just hold it up. I can tell.

It's no bother.

I'll be right down, bud.

It's absolutely fascinating
watching her work.

I can hardly wait to see
how she plans to leave

When bobo arrives.

What do you think, betty?

Is it too long?

Do you have any suggestions?

Yes, I have several suggestions.

Oh, I don't think I should
trouble you with my problems.

I really should be going,
because mother told me...

What about all the
studying we were gonna do?

Oh, bud, i...

Bud, I believe I see one of
your boy friends out in front.

Looks like bobo little. Why don't
you go out and see what he wants?

Huh?

I said go out and
see what he wants.

I, uh... Hope that isn't someone
wanting bud to go somewhere.

It'd be a shame to break
up this study period.

Oh, I really have to go home.

You know, my
mother told me to...

Well, oh, it's been so
nice seeing all of you.

But you just got here.

Well, my mother told
me to come right...

April? Come here.

Bud: so, bobo bores you, huh?

How come he claims to have
a date with you right now?

Oh, bud, really...
Now get this...

Baby, I'm tired of being
kicked around by you, see?

All you've been
doing is using me...

You and your fancy clothes
and your fluttering eyes.

From now on, if you want
a worm to crawl after you,

You'll have to get yourself
a different pigeon, see?

Like bobo. He's waiting
out there for you.

Go to him! Go on!

And as for me...

Miss adams, I bid you
a fond..."Auv reoir."

I... I'm not going with bobo.

Uh... I'm not supposed to date.

Uh... I am scared and...

I'm really ashamed of myself.

Betty, would...

Would you walk home with me?

Sure, I'll be glad...

Stay where you are.
I'll walk her home.

Come on, april.

Bud: and close the door!

Brother! Who wound him up?

Well, it looks to me as though
april came in like a lioness

And went out like
a well-shorn lamb.

Hmm, you got the
wrong month, father.

And the wrong slant.

Don't count april out yet, dear.

Count her out?
Didn't you just see...

You should recognize the frail
clinging vine technique, dear.

You've been a victim
of it for years.

It's certainly taking
bud an awfully long time

Just to walk her half a block.

Well, I imagine he has a few
other matters to straighten out.

He'll be along shortly, I think.

It's too bad he didn't
leave well enough alone.

He should've let
betty walk her home.

Well, son, home already?

Yeah. I think I'll hit
the sack. Good night.

Good night.

You know, she
wouldn't be too bad a kid

If somebody would just knock
a little sense into her head.

Well, good night.

Helpless clinging vine.

Ha ha! We anderson men
aren't taken in as easily

As you seem to think.

Jim. Yes, dear.

I'm parched.

Would you mind getting
me a drink of water?

Oh, of course.

And while you're up, toss
me that pillow. Please?

I'll do better than that.
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