06x14 - Country Action

[bunniefuu]

That's the biggest
cow I ever saw!

Is that your witness?

My name's Bobby Nelson.
This is my foreman, Rico.

I decided to come down
here and try to sell some stock.

(SINGING)

Name's Mickey Gilley. Say
hello to my friend, Johnny Lee.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(SCREAMS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

- (COWS MOOING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

All right, this is
the last truck full.

Kid, get the bull on your rig.

(SNORTS)

You didn't say anything
about carrying a bull.

You want the money or don't you?

(SIGHS)

I'm beginning to wonder.

(SNORTING)

Poppy!

Did you have to
bring this gorilla along?

SKIP: She's not a
gorilla, she's an orangutan.

And she's my partner.

Who would have a
gorilla for a partner?

Better looking than yours.

Let's just get this guy
loaded and get out of here.

SKIP: Okay. Poppy.

Put him in the truck.

(COUNTRY SONG PLAYING)

What time is it?

About 15 minutes later
than the last time you asked.

I'm starving.

- We just had breakfast an hour ago, man.
- Can I help it? I'm just a growing kid.

PONCH: We'll grab a bite just as
soon as we get out of cow country.

Poppy, see if you can find
us some down-home music.

- Yeah! That's more like it, girl.
- (COUNTRY SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)

You know, someday that's
gonna be Callie singing.

Hey, kid.

Your gorilla owes me a new hat!

(BLOWING A RASPBERRY)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Poppy, get down!

LA-15-MARY 6 and 7 have an 11-80

on the westbound Simi
Freeway at the De Soto off-ramp.

Requesting an 11-12.

- A bull, and need assistance.
- DISPATCHER: (OVER RADIO) 10-4.

(BULL SNORTING)

That's the biggest
cow I ever saw!

It's a bull, Bobby, not a cow.

Well, talk to him. He's
one of your people.

We've got to keep
him focused on us.

That's not what I
wanted to hear you say.

Come on, matador, move.

(SIRENS WAILING)

Watch out!

I'm not going near that guy
as long as that ape is there.

Hold this.

Come here, fella, huh?

It's okay, we're here to help.

Come on, boy.

We don't wanna hurt him. Right.

We just wanna help.
Come on this way. Yeah.

All right, this way. Go, guys.

Come here. Good, yeah.

Yeah, he's gonna be
okay, he's gonna be fine.

He's gonna be okay. Yes.

(WAILING)

What do you think?

He's either Tarzan or he's
dating your ex-girlfriend.

Oh, that's funny, Ponch.

Why do I get the feeling this
is not gonna be a normal day?

Would you please
turn loose? We got him.

I'm sorry I had to call
Animal Regulations.

- Did you see the way he looked at me?
- Ponch, come on, it's only an animal.

He made me feel like I
snitched on him or something.

You've been eating
too many bananas.

NELSON: Thank you for
the information, Mr. Miller.

You'll be able to get
a copy of the report.

Glad to help.

Oh, by the way, who do
we release the cattle to?

- The cattle?
- Yeah. Who do they belong to?

I don't know.

You don't know who
you were working for?

Why'd you guys let
them take my Poppy?

Your Poppy?

My orangutan. Yeah,
why'd you let them take her?

You know, Mr. Miller, you got a
nice way of ignoring the question.

Now, we've got some cattle and
they have to be released to someone.

Are they or are they not yours?

Skip. Skip, what
happened? Are you all right?

I'm okay, sis.

You're not okay, look
at you. What happened?

That's what we're
trying to find out, Miss...

- Callie, Callie Miller.
- How do you do?

I'm Frank Poncherello. This
is my partner, Bobby Nelson.

Your brother was in an accident
while he was driving his cattle...

What?

Who were you driving for? You
didn't tell me anything about this.

You know the trouble
with having a big sister

is sometimes, she don't know when
her little brother's gone and growed up.

She's probably worried
about you growing up in jail.

Gentlemen, would you
wait outside, please.

You think hard about those questions.
We're expecting some answers soon.

DOCTOR: Eyes wide open.

I'll be right outside, honey.

What is really going on here?

Miss, we thought we had
ourselves a simple traffic accident.

He stopped answering questions.

- Is there something we ought to know?
- I don't know. I wish I did.

I tell you, we sure
don't need this.

It seems like every time you start
to get your feet a little off the ground,

something happens
to drive you back under.

- Was your brother working for anyone?
- No.

He took care of the ranch while I worked.
He's never done anything like this before.

If we have to talk to you,
how do we reach you?

- I just started working at the Palomino.
- Hey, that's pretty big time.

Not yet. I'm with the house
band in between the big acts.

But it's a start.

All right. I don't know what we
have but I hope it turns out okay.

Thanks, you've been very
nice, Officer Poncherello.

Thank you.

- What was I, chopped liver?
- You said it, I didn't.

MAN: Okay, let's
dump this chimp.

(MEN GRUNTING)

(HORN HONKING)

(PONCHO LAUGHS)

- Well, look who showed up!
- How's it going, little brother?

What brings you out here?

You know, I thought I'd hear from you
how this guy made a monkey out of you.

Hey, I had to let him go.

He claimed he was
related to you and Bobby.

(LAUGHING)

Sergeant Getraer,
thought you'd like to know,

we finally found the owner of the
cattle from the accident this afternoon.

In fact, there were several
owners. The cattle were all stolen.

Stolen? Like in cattle rustling?

Yeah. Were you on the
freeway or out on the range?

Was the truck stolen, too?

No, I checked the computer. It
belongs to Skip and Callie Miller.

No wonder Skip didn't want
to talk about the accident.

There's been a lot of cattle
rustling on the small farms

up and down the state highway.

No one has any
clues or suspects.

Well, we've got a
suspect, Skip Miller.

Well, Sarge says he wants
results. See you later, boys.

Let's go to work, partner.

(SKIP SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Mr. Miller, she's gonna have
to go back to the animal shelter.

No.

Don't let them
take her back again.

Look, you can't put Poppy
behind bars. She'll go crazy.

She's not like other animals.
She's just like a human.

PONCH: Okay, hold
on a minute, all right?

Let's talk about the cattle.

Did you know they were stolen?

Stolen, huh? Well, I
kind of had a hunch.

Come on, Skip, fencing time
is over. Did you steal them?

No way.

Well, whether you stole them or
not, you were driving that truck.

That makes you
a party to a felony.

I didn't think I was gonna
get in this kind of trouble.

I was just trying to
make a few extra bucks.

I hated watching Callie
working day and night,

trying to save the ranch while
I wasn't pulling my own weight.

- Who were the other guys?
- I don't know.

They must have names.

They never used them
in front of me. Funny.

I never thought
about that till just now.

Right. You're not
being very helpful.

Honest. I don't know.

Look, maybe what I did wasn't straight
down the line, but I'm not lying now.

Look, I met them at the Palomino.
They offered me a job and I took it.

That's all I know.

- Can you recognize them again?
- Absolutely.

He's in here and they're out
there. That doesn't help us.

There is someone else who
can recognize those guys.

- NELSON: Who?
- Well, Poppy.

She hated them
from the first get-up.

You got to be kidding me.

Seriously. She'll
point them out to you.

Won't you, girl?

Could she really understand
what you're talking about?

Absolutely.

And she could recognize
those guys again?

I don't believe I'm
hearing what I'm hearing.

(ENGINE REVVING)

The Sarge is going to love this.

I'll meet you tonight
at the Palomino.

(LAUGHS)

That's what I like. Champagne
tastes on a jungle salary.

Open up.

Okay. That's enough.

(GIBBERING)

Do you mind if I use
the shower first, please?

Thank you.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and
gentlemen, Mr. Johnny Lee.

(SINGING)

- This place is really jumping.
- It's always like this.

Now you keep your eyes
open for those two guys, okay?

Okay, right? All right. Come on.

CALLIE: I see
you're babysitting.

- Are you being a good girl?
- How you doing, Callie?

Skip told me he talked to you.

Did he tell you about
the cattle rustling?

Yeah, but you
have to believe him.

He's just a wild kid, and
sometimes he acts like he's 12,

but he's not a criminal.

Do you have any idea
who these guys could be?

I've been asking around since
Skip told me what happened,

but no one seems
to know anything.

He is going to come
out of this okay, isn't he?

We'll do our best to
catch these guys. All right?

(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

Thank you.

Name's Mickey Gilley. Say
hello to my friend, Johnny Lee.

(CROWD CHEERING)

And welcome to the world
famous Palomino club.

Hey, we want everybody
to have a good time tonight.

Yeah, we certainly want you to have a
good time and if the music gets to you,

grab your sweetheart.

Tell you what, we
have a lovely young lady

that's been helping us
out the last couple of nights.

In fact, she made her
debut right here on this stage.

And in a few years,
when she's on top,

you're all gonna be able
to say you saw her first

right here on this stage.

So if you will, let's give a big
welcome to Miss Callie Miller.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING)

(CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING)

Folks, you know that Callie
was singing under a strain tonight.

You see, her baby brother was
hurt in a trucking accident today,

and he's laid up
in the hospital.

That boy's a trucker,
he's okay in my book.

Well, I'm glad you
said that, brother.

Because we're looking for
donations to help pay the kid's bills.

Here's my $20.

- MAN 1: All right!
- MAN 2: Yeah, I got $20, too.

MICKEY: Well, I tell you what.
While our assistant is out there

collecting all that
hard-earned money,

Johnny and I would like to do a
little cowboy song for you folks.

In this song here lies
just a little message

for all you mamas out there.

You got it.

(BOTH SINGING)

Get away from me,
you crazy gorilla.

Excuse me, my name
is Frank Poncherello.

- That ape yours?
- Kind of.

I wonder if you two would
please identify yourselves.

Just who wants to know?

California Highway Patrol.

(CHUCKLES) Sure,
and I'm a Texas Ranger.

(CHUCKLING)

PONCH: Would you like
to see some identification?

Look, why don't you
and your girlfriend just...

(MEN GRUNTING)

Hey, partner.

- (GLASS SHATTERING)
- (OBJECTS CLATTERING)

(CONTINUES SINGING)

(MEN GRUNTING)

- Partner, they're getting away.
- (BLOWING WHISTLE)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

All right. Hold it,
everybody. Hold it right there.

Now, cool down.

(SINGING CONTINUES)

I tried to ID myself, Sarge.

I couldn't. I was too busy
trying to save my partner.

Thanks, partner.

I suppose you two think it's fun being
woken up in the middle of the night

by my counterpart in the Los
Angeles Police Department

and being asked,

with some pleasure
on his part, I might add,

if Poncherello and Nelson
belong to my official family.

I tried to tell that
blue-suitor who we were...

GETRAER: I am
not finished, Frank.

Do you know what it
means to have to admit

to another person of supervisory
rank the two of your people are flakes?

I'm not a flake, Sarge.

Super flake, Nelson.

And then I had to listen to the
laughter as the Sergeant told me

that my senior officer,
dressed as a cowboy,

was hot on the trail of
a couple cattle rustlers.

I saw them, Sarge,
they were there.

I thought our only
witness was in the hospital.

How did you know it was them?

Poppy identified them.

Poppy. Poppy who?

Poppy the... (COUGHING)

Who?

Oh...

Is that your witness?

She made him, Sarge. She
can ID them any day of the week.

Frank, in case you haven't
read the penal code lately,

orangutans can't
appear in court.

But the bad guys
don't know that.

Oh, Frank. Get him out of here.

- But she's very sensitive, you know.
- Out of here. Out!

(COINS CLATTERING)

(COFFEE POURING)

(SCREAMS)

(SIGHS)

PONCH: Come on, Poppy.

Now, you're going to have to
really impress this guy, Poppy.

He's really tough so
you be a good girl, okay?

Okay, good girl.
Come on. Let's go.

Hi, Harlan, old buddy.

All right, what did you wreck?

Oh, what kind of way
is that to talk, huh?

We come in here to offer you
some help in cleaning these cars.

You're gonna help me?

Well, not exactly.

Don't look at me.

Don't tell me...

(KISSING)

No way. Absolutely no way.

- What's the matter?
- I don't know, Harlan.

You know, they get their
feelings hurt so easily.

All right. All right. I'll
watch her for a while.

But no kissing on the lips.

Oh, thank you, Harlan,
we'll make it up to you.

(KISSES) Goodbye,
Poppy. You be a good girl.

- Bye-bye, Poppy.
- (CHUCKLES)

- Howdy, partners.
- NELSON: Funny, funny.

All right, come on,
we got work to do.

- Hey, where did you get the gorilla?
- Ponch just dropped it off.

I was talking to him.

(COWS MOOING)

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Mr. Gossett?
- Yes.

I'm Officer Poncherello. This
is my partner, Bobby Nelson.

- I called you earlier.
- I've been expecting you fellas.

You want to talk to me about
that cattle rustling report I made.

Yes, sir, we recovered
some of them.

That was pretty fast.

Well, maybe you
can educate us, sir.

What happens to these stolen
cattle? Where do they end up?

Well, it's my guess they
haul them down into Mexico

or find themselves
somebody with cash.

Well, we hope we
can put a stop to it.

We've got a bigger
problem than that.

I've started vaccinating
these animals for anthr*x.

anthr*x, sir? Isn't that
a contagious disease?

GOSSETT: You got it.

It's extremely fatal to animals,
and unless I catch it in time,

I could lose my herd
in a couple of days.

What would happen if some of
the stolen cattle are also infected?

If a cattle with anthr*x is
sold to a slaughterhouse

and people eventually
eat that meat,

they could die.

GROSSMAN: This is the
ultimate exercise, Sarge.

The gravitational forces coupled
with my reverse-sit-up action

will enable me to reduce
my abdominal girth by 65%.

Ah.

Good for tension, too, Sarge.
It helps you learn to relax.

- Sarge.
- Yeah.

We wanted to give you a
rundown on that stolen cattle case.

- Hmm-mmm.
- We checked with the rancher.

Those cattle could have anthr*x.

That could be serious. Have
we made any notifications?

PONCH: We're working on it...

Tension is gonna k*ll those
guys. They've got to learn to relax.

(EXHALES)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(GRUNTS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Ah, this is great.

Thank you, sir.

The County Health
Department will contact us

if there are any
anthr*x cases reported.

What if they try to sell
them to a slaughterhouse?

No chance. We already checked.

A slaughterhouse will only
deal with legit channels.

Hey.

Hi, girl, how've you been, hmm?

No, I can't play with
you right now, all right.

You got to wait outside. I got
business with the Sergeant.

Go outside.

Come on. Go.

Can we continue our
conversation now, Frank?

Yes, Sarge. (LAUGHS)

Help!

Can anybody hear me?

Is anybody outside?

Come on, somebody must
be out there! Help! Please help!

Poppy. You little primate, you.

I know you're going to help
me. What are you doing?

No, you're supposed to help
me. You don't understand.

Help!

Come on. Help me.

Help!

(HOOTING)

- Help!
- Whoo!

APB is out.

- Up and down the state.
- Good.

That seals off the Mexican
border and adjoining states.

- Now what?
- Now it comes down to money.

The cattle have to be sold, that
means a ready buyer with cash.

- Find that buyer, Frank.
- Working on it, Sarge.

We've already called all
the ranchers in the Valley.

- Told them to keep their eyes open.
- GROSSMAN: Help!

- (HOOTING)
- What is that?

GROSSMAN: Somebody, please!

- Help!
- There, from the locker room.

Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
Help. Get me down from here.

Gotta admit, Grossie,
you're losing that stomach.

When you're upside down,
it looks like a big chest.

Would you get me down from here,
please, and get my uniform back.

Come on, Poppy. You should
have your uniform tailor fit.

(ALL GRUNTING)

- She's ripping off my shirt!
- I'll get it back.

Poncherello!

(ENGINE REVVING)

Hey! That bike's not ready yet.

No kidding, Harlan.

Well, you're riding it. Do
you know how to stop it?

Right hand is the brake.

You're a mischievous
woman, you know that?

(SINGING)

Hi there, how's it going?

Sure is a nice looking party.

Ain't seen you around
these parts before.

'Cause I ain't from these
parts. My name's Bobby Nelson.

My daddy owns a spread
north of Bakersfield.

This is my foreman, Rico.

I decided to come down
here and try to sell some stock.

That so?

Huh-uh. That is,
if the price is right.

Well, you take care now.

(SINGING CONTINUES)

Rico?

I heard the name in a
song. I've always liked it.

- Your foreman, huh?
- I could've made you my butler.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Callie.

Have you found
the money man yet?

- No. You sure he's here?
- That's what I hear.

I put the word out that y'all
are looking to sell some cattle.

I hope this works.

How are things
working out for you?

Oh, I don't know, some record
people have come around

and I guess it's the break
I've been looking forward to.

But until this whole thing
with Skip has been settled,

I don't think I can
make that decision.

Well, you keep your fingers
crossed. We'll catch these guys.

(CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING)

Thank you very much.
We appreciate it. Thank you.

We both appreciate it.

And we appreciate y'all not
starting any fights today, too.

- MICKEY: So far, that is, John.
- JOHNNY: Yeah, well.

MICKEY: But I know you're not going
to fight while Callie is going to sing.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(SINGING)

(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

(CROWD WHISTLING)

My name is Cal Davis.

I understand that you boys have
got some cattle you want to sell.

That depends upon the price.

I think you'll find I pay about
as good as anyone else.

Now, well, we had a fire
at the ranch, Mr. Davis,

and we're not sure we have
all the ownership papers.

(LAUGHS)

Well now, there's no need
to fret about a little paperwork.

Of course, the price of beef is
gonna have to come down a mite.

Sure.

(ALL LAUGHING)

California Highway
Patrol, Mr. Davis.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

What happened to your accent?

Mr. Davis, we advise you not to get into
any more trouble than you're already in.

There are two cowboys
out there selling stolen cattle

that could have anthr*x.

We want them.

Good customers are hard to find.

Sorry to hear you say that, sir,

because your cooperation might
mean the difference to a judge

between probation and prison.

(STAMMERS) Now, wait a minute.

I respect a good business
deal when I hear one.

NELSON: Well?

(EXHALES DEEPLY) Sounds to me like
you boys are looking for Duane and Lonnie.

I'm supposed to
meet them in an hour.

- Are they coming here?
- No.

No. They gave me
this map to their place.

Thank you, partner.

(COWS MOOING)

He's late.

He should've been here by now.

- I know.
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)

Something's wrong.

I told you we should've
got rid of these cattle.

I know you told me. Now
will you shut up about it?

- I knew it. It's the cops!
- Let's get out of here.

(SIRENS WAILING)

I know we waited too long. I
knew this was gonna happen.

Shut up and stand on it.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

PONCH: Okay, out of the truck.
Come on, hands on your head.

Nice job, buckaroo.

Any time, kemosabe.

I brought some
friends around to visit.

- Hey, Callie, Skip! How are you feeling?
- Hi, how's it going?

- Great.
- Terrific.

I brought Pop around to
say goodbye to you folks.

Goodbye?

I'm going to take that record contract
and Skip's gonna work the ranch.

The extra money I get should
be enough to pay off all the bills.

That's great. I expect
an autographed album.

That's a promise.

Say, lady, this is just goodbye.

It doesn't have to be farewell, you
know. We can still visit each other.

(COIN CLATTERS)

Save your money. That
machine hasn't worked in days.

(COFFEE POURING)

(LAUGHS)

All right!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)