03x17 - Margaret Hires a Gardener

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music]

♪ ♪

Narrator: robert young...

And jane wyatt...

[Laughter]

With elinor donahue, billy
gray, and lauren chapin

In father knows best.

[Comical music]

♪ ♪

Buenos dias, señora.

Too hard, too hard.

The señora is work
much too hard.

What?

Yes, the ground is pretty hard.

Si, this work is for the
man, not for the woman.

Hmm. It likes much for
things to be beautiful.

They must have food and
they must breathe, and...

Oh, this bush is truly unhappy.

Oh, look at... Wait a minute!
You... You mustn't do this.

Oh, it's all right, señora. I
have no place to go right now.

So it is too early to go there.

Yes, all these plants
like much. [Canned laughter]

Many are turning sad.

If I would come one, two
days, maybe three days a week,

All would soon be happy,

And the señora would be proud
to have so beautiful a place.

Well, I see.

You're looking for
work as a gardener.

Well, I'm not...
Oh... Oh, no, señora.

Not looking.

This place needing.

Perhaps.

But, well, you see, I have a
husband and a grown son, so...

Oh, that's nice.

Uh, now, let me think.

This afternoon, I cannot come.

Uh, but tomorrow, yes.

Muy temprano, very early mañana.

Would that be okay?

Well, no, but we're
not hiring a gardener,

And besides, I don't
know anything about you.

I... I... I don't even
know your name.

Oh, perdone, mi señora.

Uh, I'm called frank.

Frank? Si, frank.

Oh, h... How do you spell that?

Effe, ere, a, ene, ca.

Frank! Oh. Oh. Oh, I see.

Uh, frank i... Is
my u.s.a. Name.

When I come to u.s.a.,
I take u.s.a. Name.

Oh, uh, well, h...
Here is the name.

Oh! Oh, frank.

Si! Frank.

First class, u.s.a. Name.

Now, when I come, uh, mañana,
I will start on these bushes.

That one, I take out,
no good. This one, i...

Oh, no, no, wait
a minute, frank!

I-i had not agreed to hire you.

Oh, I understand you, señora.

You are worried about the money.

Everybody in u.s.a.
Worry about money.

Señora, do not worry.

The charge is, uh, muy
poquito, nothing to speak of.

The important thing
is to make things grow,

To make them beautiful!

Si? Si.

Uh, yes. Gracias, señora.

It is decided then.
Tomorrow I start.

Uh... One, two weeks, you
will not know the place.

Señora, that is guaranteed.

[Engine starts]

Adios! Mañana!

Gardener?

Now, that's the
last thing we need.

[Chuckles] for the life of me,

I can't understand why
you'd hire a gardener.

Well, it... It is hard
to understand.

That I'll admit.

Well, honey, you have a husband

And a strong grown
son around here.

Well, that's nice.

But you have to admit

That neither of them
does much gardening.

Oh, I don't know. And
the soil all lacks much.

Did what?

Oh, look, dear.

I know he'll make the place
look much, much better.

And when you consider
how little he charges.

How much does he charge?
Well, he only charges...

Oh, well, i...

Come to think of it, i,
uh, I don't think he said.

[Chuckles] oh, my.

Oh, but I'm sure
it's reasonable.

Oh, sure.

A fellow walks in here,
fast talks you into hiring him

And doesn't tell you
how much he charges.

[Chuckles]

It'll be reasonable, all
right, like a mink coat.

Oh, he's not like that at all.

He's sweet, and
he loves flowers.

And money. Oh.

Honey, I know what
I'm talking about.

Tomorrow when this
fellow... Whatever his name is,

You probably don't
even know that.

Oh, yes, I do. It's frog.

Huh? Uh, frank.

But... When he says
it, it comes out frog.

Well, you tell this
frank it's no deal.

Okay? [Sighs]

Well, all right. I... I
guess you're right.

We... We really can't afford it.

I'll get after this
gardening stuff one day.

[Clears throat]
[canned laughter]

[Singing]

[Shoveling sound]

[Canned laughter]

Great caesar!

Honey, come here.

Oh! What... What is it?

Come here and tell
me this is your man,

Your... Your so-called gardener.

He's digging up the whole
yard, undermining our house.

Look at that trench.

It's deep enough
for a whole infantry.

Well, I never told
him to do that!

Look at all that
crushed rock and stuff.

Well, I'm gonna
put a stop to this

Before he runs
us into bankruptcy.

What's all the noise? Move out!

Where is daddy going?

Oh, out to fire the gardener.

We have a gardener?

We did for a few
minutes. [Canned laughter]

Oh, this modern age.

Things move so fast.

[Canned laughter]

[Singing]

Oh, buenos dias, señor.

It is truly a pleasure to
meet you in so fine a morning.

Yes. Well, frank... Si?

I, uh, wanna talk to
you about this job.

Oh, yes, it's a very nice job.

One is very happy to work
for so nice a man as the señor

Who have the very nice señora,

Uh, a very nice
arrangement all around, si?

[Canned laughter] eh.

Well, frank, the point is,

You see, I wasn't here when
mrs. Anderson hired you.

Oh, I understand
you, señor. Uh...

You do not catch
all this. Uh-huh.

You look at big hole in
the ground and you think,

"Ah, this frank, he have
big hole in the head, too."

[Laughs] [canned laughter]

Okay, I explain.

First is put the
rock or the drainage,

Then the bone mill, put...

Frank, i... I'm sure you
know how to do your job.

Oh, si, frank knows.

This way, your
flowers and shrubbers

Will grow strong for many
years and be, oh, so beautiful.

Muy hermoso.

Well, look, frog, eh, frank,

What I'm trying to tell you

Is that all this is costing
me too much money.

Oh, I see.

Uh, well, señor,
yesterday, I tell the señora,

"Do not worry about the money."

Yeah, well, that's all
right for the señora.

She doesn't have to worry
about the money, but I do.

Then we must talk
about it. Mañana.

No, not mañana. Right now.

I don't even know
how much you charge.

Oh, very reasonable.

[Laughs] but how reasonable?

Oh... Very.

Frank, tell me exactly
how much do you charge.

Uh, regular.

Well, how much
is regular? $2? $50?

Okay. Okay, what?

Uh, just okay.

If it's okay with the
señor, it is okay with frank.

Uh, the señor knows
best. [Canned laughter]

Oh, it is good to have
the thing settled.

Gracias, señor. Wha...

[Singing]

Well? Hmm, oh.

Did you get the thing settled?

Yeah, i, uh, guess so.

[Canned laughter]

Well, that's good,
well, that's a relief.

I always begin to feel
guilty about the whole thing.

Hmm.

I hope you asked him
to fill in that big hole

Before he leaves.

Oh, you know,

The man might save
money in the long run

If he prepared the soil
right in the first place.

That way, his flowers
and shrubbers...

[Canned laughter]

You know.

[Canned laughter]

I can't get over how much
pretty our place looks.

And... And he's only been
here... How long now? A week?

It's a little over a week.

Well, that frank is amazing.

I never thought father would
ever agree having a gardener.

Well, he's not completely sold.

Hi, hey, where's frank?

He's working around back.

Good, he's helped
me learn spanish.

In a couple of weeks

I'll be able to habla
the ol' español

Like a real cool cat.

[Laughter]

Spanish? Bud can't
even handle english.

[Laughter]

Hi, mommy.

Where's frank?

Around back. Oh, good.

He's gonna help me make
a beautiful compost heap.

[Laughter]

Margaret, have you seen this?

Oh, what is it?

A bill for $17,

For crushed rock,
peat moss, fertilizer.

I never authorized frank to
charge all this stuff to me.

I knew something
like this would happen.

Where is frank?

We better have an understanding
right now before he breaks me.

Betty, go tell
him I wanna see him.

All right, father.

We're gonna have
to get rid of him.

Frank, I want you
to look at this.

Very nice. [Canned laughter]

Nice? What do you mean nice?

When did I authorize
you to spend $17

For crushed rock, and peat moss,

And all of that stuff?

Oh, the rock, and the peat moss,

And all of that, si.

Frank, it's wrong
to operate this way.

Don't you understand that?

This is not right.

Oh, I understand you, señor.

This is all wrong.

That's right.

I will look into
this, sir, mañana.

No, not mañana, right now.

I wanna get this settled,
so it won't happen again.

Oh, I understand you, señor.

Uh, well, uh, uh,
uh, this nursery,

Uh, would maybe somebody

Twist the number of the
telephone for me, please?

I... I have a sore finger.

I'll do it for you, frank.

You wanna call this nursery?

Si, si, gracias.

I don't see what good it'll
do to talk to them, frank.

This is something
between you and me.

Now, what I'm trying
to get across to you is...

Well, it's ringing,
here you are.

[Scoffs]

Hello? Hello?

This is frank.

Si.

There is a matter
I wish to take up

Which is that of the bill
for the señor anderson.

It is all wrong.

Uh, one moment, señor.

How much does it say it's sold?

Uh, $17.14.

Gracias.

$17.14.

Oh.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Gracias, gracias.

Señor, you was right.

It was wrong.

The bill is supposed
to be for $18.14.

Huh?

Oh, it's good to have
the thing settled.

Buenas tardes.

May things go well,
uh, with all of you.

[Canned laughter]

[Whistling]

Oh, frank, these
flowers are beautiful,

But I'm afraid you
better not plant anymore.

Mr. Anderson thinks
they're too expensive.

Oh, señora, do not worry.

Uh, these flowers do not
cost señor anderson nothing.

They do not cost me nothing,
they do not cost nobody nothing.

Oh, just, uh, just
where do you get them?

Oh, I take a little
from this place,

I take a little from that place.

You mean that you're,
uh, stealing them?

Oh, no, señora. Not stealing.

Uh, thinning out.

Too many plants in
one place is very bad.

They need room to be happy.

So I take some from
one customer's place

And put them in another
customer's place,

Switch them around.

Uh, everybody get new
flowers for nothing.

Well, you mean that in exchange

For these flowers you bring us,

You take some of our flowers

And... And give them to
your other customers?

You got it.

The love 'em and lease 'em plan

Well, i... I guess
that's all right.

Anyway... [Phone rings]

It'll make mr. Anderson happy

To think they're not
costing him anything.

Oh, si, everybody
happy about it.

Mother, you're
wanted on the phone.

I'm coming. Excuse me, frank.

Perfectly. You betcha.

[Canned laughter]

Oh, it's father.

I don't know what he wants,
but he didn't sound very happy.

Oh, really?

Hello, dear. Oh, I'm
so glad you called.

Frank just told me that
those flowers that he...

What?

Well... Well, yes, I
saw the power mower,

But... Well, I have no idea
that he charged it to you.

[Canned laughter]

Oh, well, there... There
must be some mistake.

No, there's no mistake.

I have the bill right here, $97.

Frank will have to take it back.

Is he there now?

All right, you keep him
there till I get home.

This is the last straw.

Yes, dear. [Jim hangs up]

Betty, go out and
tell frank not to leave.

[Sighs] oh, poor frank.

This is it.

[Breathes heavily]

Frank...

Do you realize how much $97 is?

Oh. Si, it is a certain amount.

[Canned laughter]

[Sighs]

All right. Tell me this.

Why did you buy this
mower in the first place?

I understand you don't
even know how to run it.

Oh, I had to buy it.

I didn't want people to say,

"Look at this señor
anderson, he's so cheap.

He got a gardener with an
old-fashioned cheap lawnmower."

[Canned laughter]

But now everybody proud of you.

[Canned laughter]

Oh, my. But why did
you charge it to me?

You work for other men.

Why did you
charge it just to me?

Because I like you the best.

I wanna make you the compliment.

[Canned laughter]

Frank, it... It's...
Wrong to buy things

When you can't afford them.

If you don't have the
money, you can't buy.

Si, that's what they told me.

"Frank," they say, "you
do not have the money,

You do not have the credit."

And I say, "no, señor, but
my boss is señor anderson.

"He have the credit.

He have everything."
[Canned laughter]

And then they say, "will
he make the payments?"

And I say, "you're darn betcha,"

And then that make
everybody happy.

[Canned laughter]

Well, the truth of the matter is

I can't make the payments.

The mower has to go back.

Well, but you do not have to
make the payments at yourself.

Take the money out of my wages.

What wages?

I've been trying to get you
to tell me what you charge

And all I get is
mañana. [Canned laughter]

And even if I knew, your
wages wouldn't be big enough

To cover a thing like this.

That is too bad.

Well, it is decided then.

The mower must go back.

[Dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Ah, I have good idea!

You can raise my wages,

So they are big enough
to pay for the mower.

And that way, the
señor will break even.

Yeah, daddy. [Canned laughter]

Or even raise
them a little higher

And the señor can
make a little on the deal.

[Canned laughter]

Oh, it is always nice to
have the thing settled.

[Canned laughter]

Uh, adios.

May things go
well with all of you.

[Canned laughter]

[Comical music]

Oh, I give up.

Then he can keep the mower?

Certainly not. We
can't go on this way.

Frank simply doesn't understand

That there's a
practical side to life

As well as the beautiful.

Now, if we don't stop him now,
he'll get into a lot of trouble,

And he'll get us
into trouble, too.

We have to let him go.
That's all there is to it.

[Dramatic music]

Oh, don't look at me that way.

I know how you feel about frank.

In fact, I feel the same way.

But we have to be practical.

You can see how much
money he's costing us.

♪ ♪

[Canned laughter]

And you'll have to admit that we
got along for many, many years

Without a gardener.

♪ ♪

So the only thing to do...

[Chuckles]

How do you tell a man
like frank he's fired?

Halfway through, he'd have
it twisted around to an offer

To buy him a new
truck or something.

We better not risk it, dad.
It'd be cheaper to keep him on

[Chuckles]

Would phoning him be any help?

No, it doesn't.

And besides, he
doesn't have a phone.

I found out he lives in a sort
of converted garden house

In the back lot of
the star nursery.

Oh, I guess the best thing
is to write him a letter.

Uh, don't worry, I'll
write it as nicely as I can,

As diplomatically as I know how.

And friendly. Yes, of course.

Tell him we're not mad at him.

Sure, I know.

And tell him we want him
to come over next christmas.

[Canned laughter]

Look, you're just
making it worst.

Now leave it to me.
I'll figure it out...

Somehow.

[Canned laughter]

I, uh, put a check in here,

So he won't feel so
badly about getting fired.

Uh, when he comes this
morning, um, hand him this.

[Sighs] I don't
wanna give it to him.

Well, honey, I'd have done
it, but he's not here yet.

Ooh, this would be the only
morning he's ever been late.

Sure seems gloomy around
here without old frank out there

Singing that spanish
rock and roll of his.

[Phone rings]

Well, somebody
has to give him this.

Hello, who? And I
have to get to work.

Oh, yes. Just a minute, frank.

[Whispers] father, frank
wants to talk to you.

Me? Oh, no.

Dear, why don't you take
this opportunity to tell him?

That'll be much better
than a sneaky old letter.

[Canned laughter]

Well, I'll try. Hello, frank.

This will do it.

Old frank will talk
pop into hiring him back

In two seconds flat.

[Canned laughter] what
do you mean by that?

What kind of official business?

Well, if you don't wanna
tell me, you don't have to.

But, frank, listen, i...

What?

Oh. All right.

Goodbye.

Well, that's strange.

What happened? Frank quit us.

Quit? Quit?

What? Well, he
didn't exactly quit.

He just said he wouldn't be
back to work for several months.

Months? Maybe he's
taking a vacation.

What was that about
official business?

I don't know, he wouldn't say,

But he seemed to
be in an awful hurry.

Maybe he's an international spy.

[Canned laughter] he is not.

Do you think maybe he's ill,

And he doesn't want
us to bother about him?

[Phone rings]

No, he sounded healthy enough.

Hello? Yes, this is he.

Yes, he was employed here.

What?

Oh, no.

All right. Yeah.

Yes, yes, I understand. Yes.

All right. Goodbye.

I have to go down
to the police court.

Police court? Why?

Frank's been arrested.

[Comic music] oh.

Frank, why didn't you
tell me you were in trouble

When you talked
to me on the phone?

Oh, you are too busy to
bother with a nothing like this.

But this is not a nothing.

Now tell me, frank.

Uh, señor, I think
you better go.

It is not a good thing for you

To be talking
with a... A jailbird.

Oh, rubbish.

Now listen, frank...

Eh, señor...

The hoosgow is no
place for a man like you.

All right, come along now.

Where are we going?

You're going before
the magistrate.

Gracias.

[Canned laughter]

Uh, gracias, señor.

I think you better go out the
back way, so nobody see you.

[Canned laughter]

[Keys clinking]

Oh, there he is.

Hello, frank!

You are [ph] luis
de garcie mendoza?

No, sir, not no more.

What?

Now I have
first-class u.s.a. Name,

Frank.

Frank?

How do you spell that?

Efe-ere-r-ene-ca. It's...

It's frank.

Frank, section 6351, part
c of the municipal code

Reads as follows,

No person shall break, injure,
deface, cut or remove any shrub,

Bush, plant or flower from
the grounds of the public parks.

Violation of this carries
with it a maximum fine of $500

Or 6 months imprisonment.

If you wish to obtain
counsel, that is your privilege.

Do you?

Well, what do you say?

Buenos dias, señor.

[Canned laughter]

Don't you understand, uh...

Don't you habla english?

Oh, si, habla in ingles,
uh, very greatly.

Uh-huh.

Now, frank,

Also nielsen's report states
that you were apprehended

In the public park last
night around 8 o'clock

Near a flower bed.

You had a spade in your hand,

And on the ground
were 12 or 14 plants

Which you had evidently dug up.

We have the plants right here.

Cannas, I think they are.

Do you recognize those?

Oh, si, and señor,

They should be
planted and watered.

This way, they will die.

Look how sad they are.

Yes.

[Canned laughter]

Yeah, b... But just
tell me this, frank,

Do you confirm or deny
the officer's statement?

Do I what?

Tell me if what the
officer said was true

Or is any part of it wrong.

Oh, I would not say nothing
against si señor officer.

He's a very nice man.

Frank, that is not the point.

But please, señor,

If you do not think it
would hurt his feelings,

I would like to change

Just one little muy poco part.

What one little part?

Oh, oh, where it say dig up,

Uh, changed to put in.

Frank, are you trying to tell me

You were planting
flowers in the public park?

Si. Si señor.

Planting flowers in the
public park after dark?

Huh.

Now, frank, you
know that's ridiculous.

Nobody would do
a thing like that.

Your honor,

Uh, I think if you
knew this man better,

You'd realize that he...
Would do such a thing.

But why?

Well, this is not
an ordinary man.

He's not motivated by
ordinary things like...

Oh, making a profit for example.

He's motivated only
by the love of nature,

The love of beauty.

All right.

But why would a man sneak in
and plant flowers in a public park?

Well, uh, I don't know.

Frank, tell him why you did it.

Well, you see, señor, I have
these cannas in my truck.

They come from
your place, señor.

I thinned out your bed.

Well, that's his
love lease plan.

That way all his customers
get their flowers for nothing.

Uh, si, gracias.

So I had planted some of these
cannas in this customer's place

And some in that
customer's place

And I have a bunch left over.

So, I remember this one
very sad place in the park.

It have no flowers.

I see the people walk
by and they also look sad

Because there is
no beauty there.

So I say, "frank,

This is your big chance
to make everybody happy."

"Everybody who come to the
park will see the beautiful flowers

And be glad."

But the señor officer
say I break the law.

[Canned laughter]

Frank, i... Don't quite
know what to do about you.

But I think from now on,

You better leave the park
work to the park commission.

Maybe this will goad them
into doing a little better job.

Sir, I'm sure he'll
stay out of trouble.

From now on, he'll be spending
most of his time working for me.

Gracias, señor.

And, you know, I
have make up my mind,

I am never going to cost
you no more money again,

Not one centavo.

Well, I'm glad to
hear that. [Laughs]

Uh, wait.

Wait, frank.

We're not through with you.

This charge is dismissed,

But there are two other
charges against you.

What?

Parking in a no-parking
zone in a public park

And violating a
no-trespassing sign.

Uh, the fine will
come to, uh, $9.00.

[Comical music]

Oh, boy, señor boss,

Looks like the only way
you're gonna break even with me

Is to raise my wages again.

[Laughter]

[Applause]

[Theme music]